Conversation with a Chauvinist

me during that. I gotta talk to you about that. Like you see, I'm going inline and you don't call me? What you mean an attitude of superiority towards members of the opposite sex, so it could be women or hold that, repeat that, repeat. What is cheval is precutice, belief in the superiority of one's own gender, group or kind. So being that this is no sellings, I'm I'm I'm, I'm I'm low man, Peter Boston, the low you're on the mic. We're good, we lie, we hid them. So is it

fair to call what what's the what's what's uh? What's masculinity? So is it fair to call your solving this is that a real definition. Do you feel like your prejudice muk no, No, because prejudice. Look this up. Prejudice means like, I'm I'm kind of developing opinion or a hate towards women without any experience. That's what prejudice is. Prejudice is when I say something that's based on I don't even have to have experience with them. Everything we're talking about

has to do with experiences. So it's personal experiences that we're talking about. It's it's certainly profiling, but it's not. But it's not, it's not prejudice. Yeah. Yeah, So I am profile. So mom, you called me the profile guy you call a profile and masculinity. So my man moved. My man, SP's up? What's that? Man? Was going on? Brother, we're getting in more trouble. So I did your podcast right, and my childhood friend right that I grew up with.

She's married and everything she said listening to y'all podcast was like being in the orgy and unwarned, unwarned, Like she just stumbled in the room into an orgy and me and nothing on her face. Yeah that's beautiful, man, nothing on another woman's face. Her specific like all the men got into an accidental orgy and ain't got nothing in your face. That's that's how that's how that stop. That's how much testosterone she must have felt. That podcast was there, and I like that. I like that ask

a question, That's what I invite. Yeah, what is wrong with test stops the wrong or the male's opinion, or even hearing the male's opinion. I felt like when we did our podcast, we were trying to give that energy to the women so they understand what we what we feel, because I feel like a lot of women don't even know what men feel because they don't really give a funk and a lot of instancetes, you know what I mean? Women really care how men feel? I think so. I

don't think they care, but I think they're interested. And we're gonna give it to him every time. That's for show you our show, That's what you're gonna get every time. But do you think women care about how men feel? No, honestly, I honestly don't think they care. And and and what I mean by that I'm talking about like honestly, well, let me make sure I clarify myself. I think that

on the level in relationships. Uh. I think when they not a relationship, they do a lot of talking, consulting and all that ship they want to they want to hear how we think they want to hear our perspectives. You know, I guess I don't think that. I don't think they give a funk how we actually feel though about ship. I think they want to use that ship as ammunition in a relationship, and if they're not in a relationship, they're like, fuck it, let's and then I

guess it's still ammunition. It's like, let's see what the other side is doing. Let's see what the other funding side is doing. So when I do get a motherfucker, I feel like I'm ahead of the curve and I can you know, That's why I think a lot of this ship is dysfunctional me because a lot of times it's coming from second hand information or oh I got you.

Have you ever heard met a women that say I grew up around a lot of dudes, so I gotta all my friends, all my my my, my best friends are male, and then they come at you with some bullshit racist like a racist person. My friend is I gotta black friends? You know, shut the door, Shut the door fall back up. Yeah, So, um, do I think women care about Do I think women care about how we feel? H I want to believe So I think I do. That was spoken like a true woman. Damn here,

I want to believe. Women always want to believe something you hear. I'm not sure. I'm genuinely trying to think do they care about man? Like, the more I was talking, even when I was giving you my answer, I had to like kind of think like, no, they don't give, only to the extent that how we feel impacts them getting what they wanted exactly. So I just pragmatic sympathy.

It's pragmatic sympathy. Words are y um um ship okay, because I feel like the thing that I do like about your ship, right is I like the fact that in today's time, is not the ship to be a straight up man. If you're not soft, if you're not bending over for whatever the cause is, motherfucker's is treating you like something is wrong with you, you know what I mean? Like, like I always say that to women, like stop making these men compromise, you know what I mean?

The worst thing you can have is a floppy, flexible man. You want your man stern and solid and straight. But I feel like women. I do feel like women want you to give them a side of you that everybody else hasn't had mhm right, and decide that they're supposed to give you usually other people had. If that makes sense, It makes a lot of sense because with that, the thing that they're supposed to offer us, it's something in two thousand twenty one that nine who you ask, they're

they're offering all sorts of other marginally valuable values. Marginally marginally. He is fucked up this this dude, I love that. I'm that's one of my new best friends, Pete is called you know, you know, I want to touch on this just for having us on here, and you're saying that, um, they want us to do certain things, like they want us to be great communicators. You know a lot of him and say that I need you to communicate. I

need you to do this, you know. And some of them got to understand this, and not all dudes is this, but you know we I come. I gotta street background, you know, and certain folks got it. You don't even have to have a street background. Let me let me make sure that's understood. You don't even have to have a street background. As men, we've been known not to talk.

We've been known don't tell on people. Uh, don't snitch, uh you know, don't cry, don't don't don't so and just hope that don't don't tell them your background and education, Well, because I don't want you just to be because people will hear you black crip giving this unwarned opinion. Well, y'all got my masters in psychology, right, you know what I mean? Back to that, back to the don't don't

don't keep that going? Well, yeah, because you know, you know, as growing up as males is, don't do this, don't tell on people, don't talk, uh, don't cry. So then when we're getting these relationships, like you said, a female is asking us now to break that. And we've been doing that longer than we're being even around you. So we've been not talking, we've been not telling and not giving up information right for all however many years it

is prior to her. So you want us to break that habit, you know, So it's very hard for dudes to do that. You know, I gotta interject real quickly. They don't want you to break the habit. They want you to perceive them as so special that you want to break the habit. No, no, say it again, please repeat, repeat again. They don't want you to break the habit. They want you to perceive them as being so special that you want to break the habit. And that's that's

a big difference. You're right, you're right. And the thing is, though it's hard, you know, coming up when you come up it from the streets, when you come up, just as a male, it's hard to break that habit for anything, even yourself, Like, even for yourself, it's hard to break that habit when you when you know you might know, guys have been y'all all have been in relationships and

you probably have fucked them off. And in those relationships that you fucked off, you knew that it was probably something you could have did outside of what you did the fucking relationship off. But hommy, you was battling with ship, whether it was from your past, present, or whatever the case may be, you was battling with it just as a man like I can't. I can't do this. This ain't what men do. This ain't what I do. Like, I can't show you that I feel I can't show

you that I'm crying. I can't do that. If I do that, she's gonna have a hunted Joe's funny you have a crowd in front of a girl, asked I have I have cried in front of a woman. I mean, so I'm gonna talk about crying since you just asked me that question. When I was younger, I couldn't cry for ship, even if it was like worthy of crying. You feel me like I was so hardened by my my upbringing, by my household and you know, hyper masculinity,

hyper masculine pops, even a mom that was like super tough. Right, So really, you know, I don't believe any child it's born hard or wants to be hard. We developed that ship just to learn behavior, right, So for me, I would feel like, what the fund is wrong with? You? Asked like you you can't even cry in situations that you should be crying. You you feel bad, but your your core uh emotion is anger and that anger ran

through me for like many years. You feel me where to where it fucked up relay ship ships and fucked up how I interact with people that I care about? Right? And so when I first was able to cry around a woman. To me, honestly, Bro, that ship was a liberating experience because like, I needed to do that. And um, I'm not gonna go too deep into this this one, but it was times where I just cried by myself and I just felt better. I just felt instantly better. Bro.

And and I think the hypermasculinity that we have within us because we got to survive in the streets. You know what I'm saying. You ain't gotta be a crip of blood, none of that. If you grew up, you know what I'm saying, when we was really outside, you went from maybe not so hard to like, I gotta make my name. I gotta be a certain type of nigga. And you like my my cousin alluded to in one

of our episodes. Man, we we got different characters. It's the reason my name is sp spog, whatever your name is, Glasses, that's mood. You know what I'm saying. Hear, but he's still a gangster. White people can cry, but it's cool, but like, but no, it's the reason why we have most on God, bro, Like, and I don't want and I don't want to cut you off. White people can cry like it's okay for white me and to cry. Kanye cried. Niggas thought he was losing his mind, but

he was going through pay and everybody. But think about that, because like he cried on television at the thought of aborting his daughter. If he would have let his wife abhord his daughter, and he thought of a world without his kid, he cried. And the first thing, every motherfucking sister me and oh this nigga losing his mind. He That's why I don't believe when women, especially the sisters, say they are k with you crying in front of them. They're all gonna try to comfort and lie to you.

But they do expect you to be stern, beyond belief, but at the same time floppy as a fucking disk emotional nigga. Kill you though, Think about what a woman asked of you, bro. They want you to be. We talked about this that day. They wanted to be organized confusion. There's there's a control element to that. I want you to be as vulnerable as you can possibly be with me, and I'm also at the same time gonna hold that

against you. There's a there's a there's a certain power play there, that's a chessboard move, and they all will deny it. Like I've watched his story, like my man so asked. My whole experiences the exact opposite. I grew up everything could make me cry, and once I passed twenty nothing could make me cry, and it was a ton of worthy things to cry about. And I couldn't express myself that way. So even like I could communicate great, like can explain myself well, but if you're explaining like

women say they want communication, they don't want communication. Women won't understand it. They don't want it to have a conversation where they may have to adjust what they think. They want you to feel what they're saying. So you don't really want to communicate. That's just not true. They be You know what the realist interaction ever captured on film between the man and one was it was Rosie Perez on white men can't jump or she didn't want

to gossa. She wanted you to sympathize with dry mouthedness. Yeah, that and and and that goes back to the point I'm saying she didn't want to communicate when the man responded in simple because communication is a is a thing of language, right, is language. So we're talking to someone like in that movie white man can't drump right and white men can't jump. If you tell me you're thirsty, come communication. It's like, Okay, I got you. I'm going

to get you some water. And then if you come back and tell me you don't want water, you don't want to communicate. That's how we talk. We have to use language because that we all understand it. They we all understand. They don't want to communicate, they want to be understood. And the problem with that is it's selfish, is fun, and it's very hard to understand somebody that does not effectively communicate. I mean that it's it's what's supposed to happen via diffusion, meaning a woman of the men.

Either way, he just added a word that I need people to really focus on in the communication process. It's effective, you said, effectively communicating, And that is the big issue. Everybody communicates, you know, but if you really think about, nobody communicates effectively. But but again, I don't even think they're doing it ineffectively because it will require you to listen. No no, no, a communication no listen. Communication is communication? Is this if I go like this and wave and

say hi. I communicate it. But but it requires like, so you have to listen. Women don't want to listen, they want to be heard, so listening right, So like me and my man low talk about this right. Clinically, the definition of listening is to listen. In so when somebody speaking with you is to list and then end. Women want to be heard. To hear is to acknowledge sound. Right. So that's why when you're talking to a woman, you could say something directly to them and they'll be like, well,

it sounds like you said, feel me. They're acknowledging the sound of your voice. They're acknowledging the sound of the words. They're not listening, they're acknowledging sounds. That's why nine out of ten times women respond back with it sounds like you said, and not just women, people who are hearing and not listening. It sounds like you said, No, this is what I said because I use perfect English or slag because that you know all the definition of the words.

But can I add perception to to this? Guys? Is because a lot of people they communicate and then they like, like if I'm talking to my cousin, I'm talking to you. The perception and and and on our show we talked about tone and delivery, but the perception of what you said we'll throw people off too, like they you might be thinking it one way and they receive it another way. And now we have a whole different debacle, Like we were on a whole different fucking conversation that we didn't

we I didn't even plan it to be that. So now I'm in a situation where we're arguing about something that I didn't even really plan on arguing about. And that's the issue too, Like people have to be able to communicate with listening, understanding, you know, and and really take their fucking feelings out of this ship. People will be sensitive about everything sometimes to the point where it's like everything I say to you, you you're waiting for

that you gotta trigger. But that's when triggered people. But that's because they're not listening. They're they're they're waiting to respond. If you're waiting to respond, you're not listening. Waiting to respond is actually an action. It's not like it's tough to listen and wait to respond, right, it's tough, right, So that's why they're looking to say something before you even end the lists. Listen, before you end the list.

They're looking to respond. So people in head shout out to head, shout out to my djuse but he always say this, no, listen to what I'm saying. Stop what stop waiting to respond. So it's it's rough to communicate with two different styles of people. You feel me women and men are just very true from other planets. You feel me so And that's a big issue too, because

we're not we're not the same. When do we get to a point where we start to like look at the other person and try to dive into and study them. That's but that's the ultimate growth, The ultimate growth, The final level of growth, I believe, right is when you just stop even giving the funk about what you think. When you stop giving a funk about what you feel as weird, does it sound all right? I'm sorry? I need you to, you know, because some people in the

back they don't be hearing that. Repeat that again, those in the top of the bleachers day, in the top of the belief I'm sorry. Lines like that, they gotta get repeated. I think the ultimate growth is when you stop worrying about what you think and worrying about what you feel and start worrying about the other person. And and it's a tough place because it leaves you vulnerable.

But everything great happens based around vulnerability. Even when I make music, the times I'm most vulnerable or put myself in vulnerable spaces is when the art is receiving in its greatest form and it's rewarded either with extreme emotion. So if we're talking about let's say two Park must die, it's gonna be some people who hate it, right, But then they have never given my art this much emotion.

And the people who actually can catch on to what's going on are they're gonna respond in the all, men, you're a genius, This is brilliant, so you're gonna get the extreme of both. So I think, even when it comes to as men dealing with women, the ultimate growth is to stop worrying about what you think and feel because long as you have And that's why I said, it's rough to try to explain to them how you feel because you're asking them to come to around that

they have no experience. Then you know, it's like asking your son too to play golf at Tiger Woods level, and he's never played golf, and women have never been meant. So I think for us, the smartest thing you could do is pretty much be like, all right, what do

you think and what do you feel? Yeah? You said something interesting about like dealing with women, you know, And I think that in relationships, both man and women spend too much time trying to deal with the opposite and there's not a lot of a like bilateral attitude and agenda going in. It's what can we do to we want to do blank? How do we do blank? How do we accomplish that? And more worried about the individual parts of a hole than the actual hole itself. I

think that's where a lot of relationships struggle. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't want to make so all the masculinity, but I'm saying it's just I think the more I think about it, I realized that ship where it's like, um, you you almost can't listen, because again, I think a woman wants to be heard. That's something that experience has taught me. They want to be heard. If you, like I said, if you try to listen, it's not gonna work.

So I want to enter this and though they're like and this is kind of personal, but I'm just gonna say it, like I would never be in a relationship ever if like I look for that, I'm gonna look for that first. Are you willing to hear me? Are you willing to understand my background, my flaws? No? No, no, but I'm just give your hands up answering. I don't think that's true. I don't think that's it's true. That's true. It might be true, it's true, but they're not gonna

understand anything. And let's not even say understand. Let me let me change the words and understand, like because I don't expect perfection because I know I'm sucking cold. I'm an asshole, so you're perfectly cold. I'm perfectly cold. But like, at the end of the day, are you going to even just hear me out? I don't even want you to understand because you said something earlier week. You know, we're two different species, were too, we're to two different

types of people. But I don't want to never get into another situation where I'm being shut out, like you don't give a funk about what I'm talking about, Like everything is all the way on you you feel me. Everything is that. I mean, I don't want to be not I don't think the sisters is that bad though. I don't think they just I totally want to shut you out right. I just think they happen to value their agenda more than yours. But that's a that's bad

because that's that. But see, see, because they want us to value that, they want us, they want us well, okay, so listen, all right, let me ask you. Let me let me see that. So, so Glasses, women always think they know best, and Glasses, but sorry, I just want to ask you one question, So Glasses, even when you're in a relationship, you committed, you're gonna be married, you're

gonna be all of this. So you're you're fine with the fact that your women don't give a fuck about what you love, care about any of their ship I'm great enough to care for both of us. That's the attitude you have to have, the only it's the only attitude you can have. That you have to be great enough to care about your yourself and them. You can't expect them. It's it's yeah, go ahead, you know what

I'm saying this to me. This is where it's sat because everything else about it, you know, everything else about it does not seem formidable. You know what I'm saying. Pew, you feel me like everything else about it doesn't walk there.

So the the ultimate level is like you feel me like a right fuck it, I'm I'm not worried about you, worried about me, like worry about these things, and I'm gonna worried about both of us because it's like karate with it sounds like you got levels of you know, you got black belts because other than that, it got to be black belt because it if you don't. If you don't, you're always going to run into the same fucking problems because you're gonna always run into the same problems.

And the way we are built to interact, feel me, we built differently. One thing, like I said, I love about what y'all represent, right, and this is knowing Uniga's right, Like I don't see you, nigga shrugging shoulders like you're a man all the time, no matter whether we're good or bad. And see that's not a normal thing because you know, we're in a society today where the whole goal is like, well, if you don't have this, then you're not a man. If you're not paying the rent,

then you're not a man. If you're not successful or figured out, you're not a man. That's not true. You're a man. All this other stuff requires a different commitment of education or a thousand things, Like success is different. Like I was making a ton of money for the last ten years, I didn't feel successful probably for like ten of them. You know what I mean. I couldn't focus. I wouldn't buy furniture, I wouldn't go to the dentist.

I wouldn't take care of myself because I got so obsessed, you feel me, I got so obsessed with conquering what I'm trying to conquer that all of these other things just didn't matter to me. And you can meet one girl right who is talking shipped to you a body, Oh you're my funck. Yeah, you can go to dnnis like making you feel like shit. And you could be another woman who's like, hey, what do we need to

do to help make this happen for you? But that's her being concerned, and that's what I was talking about earlier. But I'm saying that's not even a consistence, Like it's just the type of women you feel me the type

of women. It ain't like you're gonna meet thee. So the point I'm saying, because you're not even as a man, especially as a man man, you're not feel to be the woman that we're talking about, because women automatically just I don't want to just boxing me in because with all this, but they just kind of want to stand up. I don't know. Sometimes they feel like, I don't know, maybe being black, you know, they felt like the world is pushing them down, so they want to stand up

to you. Mhm, you understanding, which is where they want to stand up to you, like, that's the sisters want to stand up because but what else do they have leverage? That's true, It's true, which is probably why they whipped them kids ass like that somebody gonna respect me. But that's also what's wrong with some niggas who come home and beat on the lady because somebody gonna respect me. So I think the ultimate level of masculinity is knowing I could whoop your ass because I don't. I don't.

I'm not the kind of guy that's gonna say, oh, I don't believe a man she hit a woman. If a me hit you with a close fist the first time, you should ask her, Hey, this is slap me. If you hit me with a close fist, I'm gonna ask you, is this what you wanna do? And then did you hit me the second time with the closest fist? No? No, if you hit me the second time with a closed fist, maybe I need to text Maybe I need to show

you real fast that this ain't what you want. I No, I'm just saying because it's it's it's it's it's a some somewhere in in being a man, you know, masculine to being a masculine man. It's like, well, a real man. I never hit a woman. That's a lie, a real woman, and never hit a man because I ain't. Never let me tell you something. As a man, I'm a size up. Who the funk I'm gonna hit. I'm planning. If Mike Tyson cousins talking ship to me, hold on, rewind that

as a man, you're gonna do what again? Rewind on this man because they don't understand it. I'm gonna thank for I move feel me. If Mike Tyson we had the restaurant, If I'm with if I'm with I'm at the motherfucking restaurant. Cause I'm at the restaurant and Mike Tyson is doing ship to me. I don't give a fucking brandy whoever the fund is right here, he doing ship to me and throwing ship and hit me with straws and sucking with me. I'm not gonna get up

and fight cause I don't like my chances. I'm gonna figure out how to get to the car, get my gun, and make it even because this is you are a professional motherfucking fighter. Cause yeah, you are a professional fighter, and I don't like my chances. Now, don't get me wrong. You ain't supposed to punch on your old lady at the coffee hot. That's just weird that. But he that's the nigger acting like a bit. You punching on your because the coffee hot. That's because you ain't getting respect

of other places. So you come on, this is the one motherfucker you rule up. So you you you missed, You you mistreated. That's like the only bad thing Pete about gang bangers because it's a very masculine thing too. It's a very chouvlistany thing too. The issue is it gives power to people who not used to have in power. Remember that it get power to Nick is not used to having power because and power is a special thing and if you don't know how to use it, you

can misuse it and it's it's havoc. So it's important you know what I'm saying. When as a man, you you will your power correctly, and you can't trust any human being should be smart enough, especially a woman. Just size up what you are about to do. And if you don't, like I said on your podcast, if you start a fight with your man, feel me. If you start a fight with your man, know what I'm saying, and you lose all the time. Your man is not uh abusive, You just can't fight, and you too stupid

to not start to fight. You keep doing. An abusive man is somebody who hits on the woman. Feel me that that you know what I mean? That for no reason. But if you start a fight, if you're punching men in the face. First off, I'm not gonna lett nobody with my ask three times, right, So if I try to fight the nigga the first time and I'll win, pump myself up the second time. If I win the second time. The third time, I'm like, Okay, you know you can give me so if you come fucking with me,

I'm gonna shoot you because you know you got me. So, I don't know. How would the woman start a fight with the nigger that could whip their ass over North Again, that's just dumb. And nobody's gonna make me feel like it's something wrong with that. Arguments over here. Man, I'm just not working with that. I'm not and and I don't give a funk which time society is in. I don't give a funk which period of society we're in. I don't give a fuck about what's the movement, the

little Lady movement, me to Ship. I'm not working with none of that. I hate to meet Too. I don't hate him because I don't know him. I'm not taking that back. I'm not taking I'm not taking it back because it's it's a it's a movement like every other movement. Man, We're like false Ship could be involved in it, like mothercker get just jump in, you know what I mean? I don't. I don't. I don't know about the me too movement. I just don't funk with no movement that's

strategic to one gender. Yeah, and it and and it, and it's a lot of fake ship going on with that. And then and the thing is it's like different situations to one gender, yeah, because it's like women are not. Like I'm not buying that a black woman have it worse than a black men, or black men have it worse. You black. I don't think a black trans person maybe got it more fucked up. I think black people in general got it sucked up. For me, we all. That's

why I hated the all Black Lives Matter ship. I couldn't stand it because it's like, bro, you still black. You don't got to add another extra cut three letters. Oh I thought it was good because just a strategic and then I don't I'm gonna saying I'm not saying it was great because black lives matters. It's actually lame as fun. It's lame as fuck. If I have to explain to you as a man that my life matter, you're right, You're right. How could that be a movement

my life matters? Who the funk are you telling that too? How did we go from black power? Because to how do how do we go from Black power to my life matters. It's certainly an indictment on the Black Power movement that it regrets so miserably in de spite of the evidence to the contrary of the time frame. But I mean, both Me Too and Black Lives Matter are deliberately constructed in an office in Century City at a PR firm, for sure, because they're they're designed for massive

appeal and mallability. And we saw that come to fruition and it's it's weird like that, that's but that's what I'm saying. It's like, so in a time where masculinity is not appreciated, it's don't see some brothers being me And he said, masculine is not a people that they are gonna fight that they are fighting masculine. If you're a man, you like you too much of a man like dog, You're you're using the word hyper masculinity, Nika. That is like, how could you be a hyper man?

Because our environments it's like a line. If a line, a line is not a hyper animal because it's in a jungle and they may have to fight every it's a fucking line. Now I can see if you and Beverly Hills fighting the fucking Starbucks lady, or the meter maid or you're going up there, you feel me, the motherfucking Bins dealer. That might be a hyper masculine man, yeah, man, but but a motherfucker can't make me feel hyper masculin to be a man to even do that, that's just

you're just not civil. Yeah, I mean, but but when you talk. The only reason I use the word hyper masculinity is because when because bikers go out of that way too. I think hyper masculinity. I'm just saying from my experience, I think hyper masculinity come from just being raised wrong and doing extra ship. Like we we grew up in the game banging era. We grew up in a lot of different things where we say, you know,

funk this, funk that when we go crazy. I wasn't even saying it in a bad way, and I'm glad you have to use that word. That's not what I'm saying. No, I'm saying we referenced the environment that way when the environment demands That's what I was kind of speaking to. But that's what society is now promote. It's making us feel that we gotta come up with those type of words.

Hyper masculinity that is weird. You know, it's making us have to have to address it that way when the truth of the matter is, it's not that, you know, that's normal masculine ship. That's going on what he's referring to. But he gotta say that based on how the eight masculinity is not even accepted like that, Like you just said, when you do certain things, we're getting judged you you're

doing that. Oh, you need to turn that damn. Like when people say, like I said, when people say, like we grew up not being able to cry, it's because where we're from, you have to be tough y. Ain't nothing wrong with us, something wrong with the motherfucking environment here, Ain't nothing wrong with me. No, if you put me

around motherfucking lions, we're hunting. So again, like, do I think, like I said, when we say the words choving this right, I think we do have some prejudices mhm, stereotypes, stereotypes like you know how I feel about that one, But go ahead, you on point, because I think prejudice carries such a negative connotations. A lot of these words carry such negative connotations, and I don't believe that that's a reality. I don't think it's positive or negative. Like I'm a

tyrant by nature, like a god made titant. I'm a tyrant. King is engineering the show. I am a tyrant. I press my will upon you cruelly without regards to how you feel. Now, my will could be for you to be successful. That's most likely what it is. And I don't care about how you feel about the chalices of being success. I don't care about how you feel about it. I don't care about where you think you're supposed to be it. I'm gonna press you. Oh gee, man, I can't. Yes,

you fucking can? That sounds actually suckers ship my homeway alcatrash, we get into it. He don't talk to me for days because I will press his motherfucking line like you can do this, I can't do that. Yes you can. You sound like a sucker saying it. Why I gotta be a sucker because you're saying you can't do it without any regards. Cruel means without regards to emotions. I am cruel and ship when I want to be, I'm cruel as ship. I pressed my will. My will is

for your benefits. So nobody had ever made me feel like being the tyrant I am is bad. I've had people get mad. There's people you either gonna head. You're either gonna win or you're gonna get the funk away from me. That's just how I roll. It's just how I'm born. I couldn't help it. I can't be nothing. I've tried to do other things that ship don't work for me. So I could relate. So when when so

when we say toxic masculinity, I can relate. Man. I appreciate you relating, and I appreciate you tuning in man. You know because like you said, man, it's a lot of motherfucker's that you know they're gonna hate us. It's a lot of motherfucker's gonna love us. And at the end of the day, it's like you said, man, I don't give a funk about it either way, man, because we're gonna be who we are. Man. We're gonna represent

this manhood to the best our ability. We're gonna give our perspectives, we're gonna we're gonna let my fucker's know what it is, and we're gonna always be three hunting. And that's the important part. From that educated place, and I wouldn't say this. I want to ask a question though, I mean, you know, I'm on your show, but I want to ask, like, is the our environment and the trauma and all of that, do you feel like that

really fucks us up? And relate. I'm just talking about general relationships, just men, women, whatever it is, because I know, for me, I'm a nut, you know what I mean. I know I'm a nut and uh you know my Instagram handle and say hi to the bad guy and I put that on near because people don't understand why I did that. I deal with people, and I struggle with the fact that I'm in growth mode right but there's a lot of people that want to tell me

who I am? You this you that you you act like this, you act like that, and and I'm constantly getting judged and you know, critiqued. So I just you know, I did what n w A did with niggas with attitude. Man. I'm like, man, I'm the bad guy, but I'm really not a bad guy. But I've been through a lot of ship. So it's our because because we are show is toxic masculinity and it's not even really the the

fuck up portion of toxic masculinity. But I think it's kind of it's something there where Well I'll go past that then, but where we go? But I'm asking this man, like, you know, can we be blamed for this ship or or could we just ride it out and just know who we are? Because at the end of the day, I know me, I'm I'm fucked up, and I'm looking for people to know that they fucked up too. I had a commensation you don't want to be lonely. No,

it ain't even that, It ain't even that. It's just I want everybody to recognize they sucked up so we can get along a little better. You don't want to be lonely and Bill, but but but but but um, I don't know if people really realize they sucked up. I think you've got to be a special person, like I know I'm sucked up, but you're probably not fucked up. If you realize you're fucked up. To be honest with you, I think you can get control of it. Explain that Pete.

The capacity to be is like self reflective enough to acknowledge like your own reality versus the room and go you know, I think I'm fucked up, probably means you aren't quite as as fucked up as maybe you think anymore. Well, I don't think he was up. Also could be a little fa I never I mean when I say fucked up, though, I mean like you it took me. I'm I'm forty one. What's the worst thing you think you ever did as a man? Honestly? If you if you if your mind sharing,

you're saying you up? What's that? I'm not even saying about the worship ever there, I'm just saying my mental compacion, But I'm saying, what's the action that you felt that you was? Like, Man, I'm a funked up nigga? Do you mean you're funked up? Like like you're a fucked up person or like I'm not saying I'm like a evil person. I'm saying that that's not what I'm saying. So so I'll give I'll give you an example. I'll give you example why I realized I was fucked up.

I saw I used to sell Sharon and it was a pregnant lady that was buying it. I'm gonna give you one of them, right, And I don't think something was wrong with my mind as much as I thought something was wrong with my edgy cation. Like I used to carry this mentality when I was hustling, when I was selling shoe, when I was selling rocks, when I was getting down that people are making a conscious choice to buy product. I used to pride myself and feel better than other d boys because I would never use

a cheap cut. Certain homies will use break fluid. I would always use high dollar andy and drops and law either. I prided myself and carrying the rest product at all time, the highest level. Right, this is for real, I'm just being honest. People would buy it the Rolls Royce of pc B fucking for short. So but what I'm saying is when I realized I was fucked up is when I realized she couldn't control it. When I realized she wasn't making a conscious choice, it was like, Oh, these

people don't really have control. And you and your sober ass, don't smoke, don't drink, you're making a conscious choice to contin in you and that day and that and from that day, and what really you fucked up right? And what really fucked me up right was when old girl came with her kids. He wasn't fucked up or nothing. But I was like, damn, why did I sell this lady? Sure this kid could have came out fucked up and I should have made a decision for her. M I

mean my ship, but I gotta go. You really are a fuson because the cold. The cold thing about that is that they all you do is drink water. You don't even you don't do you don't do nothing of the ship. Other people do to get them through those moments. See those moments. Talked about that when I picked him up from prison. You know, I picked him up for prison. He was at the Big Hommy house. He just got out of prison, and we went to a Chinese food spot.

We're eating this ship really cold, right and we're eating this ship and I was like, damn we He was like, man, I used to be hear you're rapping about the nigga and the shop we was doing. The guy used to be like nigga and my nigga represents there. I'm like, yeah, God, that ship was crazy and it was you. Niggas was crazy. Nicka, I remember Nigga. It was Tim Nicky was shared nigga. We was going to bust on them. Nigga nigga. You

shot at the back of the car and Nigga. I was like, oh, ship and I remember the time we did this nigga nigga buss and ship and nigga had to just get on that nigga and I popped that nigga. He was like. I was like, nigga and yo, crazy nigga, you'll be smoking sermon ship for we. Guy used to be like, Nicka, how was you doing this ship smoking? He was like, I used to think to myself, how was you not smoking sermon to go do this ship? Exactly? I was like, sober, regular nigger, you so cold? You

do this ship without no mind transformation. He was one step away from filing a W three for that job. Well, now I'm gonna say, though, glays it like I did similar ship. So when when like you know, like I know my nigga might be listening or whatever, but like you know what I'm saying, Like I was on some like trying to sell I never sew no water, but

were setting crack and ship. And now used to feel bad about that ship and I felt like you know what I mean, we we did that ship for a limited time only you know what I'm saying like McDonald's. But at the end of the day, I just felt like all the things that I've ever done in my life, and I felt like, where did this ship come from? And it really comes from you talked, because because when

you talk to me, it sounds like survival mode. It don't sound like I've been knowing you for a while now, you like one of the best niggers to me, I wouldn't even I wouldn't even if I if I knew you, and I didn't know the culture and I didn't know like where we come from. You couldn't even convinced me that you was hear that and nope, and and with me too. People don't know because because my my journey to this ship wasn't there. I'm not no liar, right,

So I'm gonna tell you I wasn't even really. I went from scared too, I don't give a funk, you know, I went from nervous to I don't care about life. You feel me And I always registered in my mind who I love and who I don't give a funk about. And at this point when we have these conversations, just like man if I met you just regularly I wouldn't be like, Damn class, he don't drink, he don't do none of this ship. He don't do none of this ship that people do to sedate themselves and make themselves

feel better. And I look at you, and you you're not a um and I don't want to let no niggers feel like you can run up on the homie because we're gonna suck you up. We're gonna suck you up. But you don't look like a threatening nigga, you know what I mean. So to that point, what I'm saying is and I don't look like a threatened nigga to me. So at this point, it's like, Damn, we have these situations where we like grow up and we in survival mode. Bro.

And why I posed that first question because I felt like I went and did a lot of ship that I did if I wasn't in that environment. Bro, that's never done nothing. But but that's really what it's about though, that's it ain't nothing wrong with us, because it's something wrong with the environment. The environment turns out this kind of person. If you're not this kind of person in

the environment, you may not make it out alive. So I've never I've never thought badly the things I've never thought bad about suiting no nigga, Like because that nigga had it coming. I shot that nigga on purpose, and I like not negative. I don't because it comes like I hate that that concept is tough based on where we're from. Like, if you shoot the nigga, asks tough, No, it's not nigga. You probably had to shoot the nigga. Now I get it. If you just I don't think

it's tough. If you shoot the nigga, you didn't have to shoot. If you just man, I used to press my homies, They'll tell you this. If you if I bring some of them niggas on, if you press the civilian around me, I was gonna probably fire your shut up mhmm. Don't do that to somebody. That civilian is somebody that's not with the activities, somebody that's not a gang member. So like it used to be people walking down the street in our hood because right it was

like a program. When you get out of jail, you go to this program and they would walk down the hood to the Metro. If it was one of my homies who not used to having power and misusing their power, pressing it onto a civilian. I would immediately go and deal with him, don't. It's people that want that energy, so I don't. I don't think, like I said, I pride myself in and I don't think I'm a sucked up there at all. I mean, I think I'm my mind is sucked up based off of my issue with myself.

Is I was telling keing this my issue. I was telling somebody else. I was saying, I always look at the end. That's my mistake. I look at the end. He was sucked up when you so dope the baby. No, No, I was miseducated. I didn't. I don't even feel I was sucked up then I was. I was uneducated. I was uneducated one feeling. No, it's not feelings. If I would have just said I feel no, no, no, no, no, I'm saying I would tell you if I felt like I wasn't sucked up to me no, That's why I

said to me up. But again I was soberly. No, listen, I was miseducated because I don't do drugs, So I don't know that this control over people. You had never heard anything about chemical dependence or anything like that at all, because nobody in my family is on drugs, So you hadn't heard rumors in the cosmos about anything that had to do with drug abuse at all. Not really, I'm about to pull you right here on ere seven years old.

So if you didn't study your product, nigga to understand what it was doing, the motherfucker's you was fucked up because you was sober naked, You were sober when you was doing this. You was doing that with drinking water, drinking tease, eating regular food. You just thought it's interesting.

These people seem to really enjoy it. They just keep coming back, and you never decided hold Because now that now that I really know, you told me you were researcher niked, so you you didn't think that yourself to say, damn, why do they keep coming back for these mixtures of chemicals? I thought they enjoyed the flavor. So that's what made you sucked up to me, because you could have research that information. You could have you could ask sure, But but I'm just telling you what makes you funk up

to me? I agree, it's just me, but so you're still my nigga. No, it's not that. No, No, no, no, no, you're you're trying to I'm not trying to escape. I was ignorant. I didn't have an information. This this is the truth because when I when I realized what the information was, I changed also, well, didn't guess what I do, right, I'll be tracked. I just find it a little disappointing that that information was that difficult to find. Bro. When you listen, when you're in the storm of a hurricane,

it's not like you know outside of it. I would imagine it be easier to see what was going on. No, it's actually not. When you're in the storm, When you're in the eye of a hurricane, nothing else is going on right there. You gotta just no, just listen, Just just imagine this. Imagine the whole world looks like this in the circle. How how would you identify a potent so customer from somebody who might not be interested in

they would come and actually engage me in business. They didn't before they knew you had opened up, shot before they knew before they knew that coming to you men walking into a store, how would you sit back and identify there's a hundred people, there might be seven or eight customers in there. I wonder who they may be. I don't know. Sharm is different PCP like people. It's not like that type of drug. It's not that it's like crack crack. I could figure it out fast. I

was like, oh the mother control. They said, this is fucked up. That's why I stopped selling crack. So PCP I felt like it was a different kind of drug because people are normal fucking with it. There are normal people fucking with it, or ideally what you would call normal, Like they don't they're not pushing baskets because PCPs ain't pushing baskets. They got cars, money strippers can be fine. Everything ain't nothing. You won't know, so you believe I'm

normal with all that? Is there a degeneration. But here's a great point, right, I watched motherfucker's drink All the time I watched motherfucker's drank. I have a hard time struggling who's an alcoholic and who's not, because by definition, all these motherfucker's alcoholics, all these motherfucker's around it is alcoholics right by definition. But then like I have to be careful because I had to be like okay, damn or that, because if if you see alcoholic, what would

you do? Well, if you're a bartender and someone's waisted, you have to stop serving them, especially if they're supposedly driving home. You couldn't buy searan stick from me if you were turned up. Okay, it was there a palpable degeneration among any of your clientele? No, not propable. No, not with PCP. Mhm, not with PCP. It's different, and cycling then is a whole different kind of monster. You won't fucking no, it's not like Crystal. I mean, it's

not like math. It's not like rocks is different like I'm I know the reason I know the coldest niggas from families as they used just buy sharing from the coldest niggas from the mind used to buy sharing from me. These are some of the niggas with rolex change. Maybe they're jumping out of regals and colors is with dating's naked low riders, nigga regular niggas, feel me, They're cool. They ain't close, ain't no hole, ain't no basket, regular people.

Then I realized they were medicating differently, you mean, for a reason, And then that's when I started like feel me. I was like hold up. Then I start kind of getting some information. Then even if I thought I can ignore the information, it was like God won't, God won't let me do it. Bro, they just start coming down like the building fault on my head. That's true. So different I'm trying. I'm trying to get I'm trying to channel some audience questions potentially through my brain and into

the show. So you had mentioned that when you realize that this was potentially a conflict, that you would change what you were doing or to whom you were selling. If there wasn't a palpable degeneration, how would you make this assessment there? And to whom would you be selling that was a long term operable user? You don't know? So okay. So when so to identify because we're talking about identifying a customer. So when I first got into it, I didn't have to identify customers, right, I was working

for somebody else. So I'm gonna tell your story where I was working for my big hop up right pluck would pay me. First off, I start off being a hoodie who man, I worked twelve hours a day for three hundred dollars a week. Hmm, okay, right, So my job was to sit outside on my car and if I see the police hit the corner, scream who do you that way? The customers didn't come from the back and nobody made a sale. Pay me three hundred dollars a week to do that, twelve hours a day, five

days a week. Right. He would take me to buy clothes, make sure I look straight. I had all the dickies, everything s torus, all kinds of ship. That was my job. This is nineteen right, So when I get into the house now because at this point now my my older homies, Dad was like my generation. They were still in they were starting to not still and I don't want to say that, um they were skimming. They start skimming off the top, bringing their on PCP into his spot right

and setting their own to make the profit it. So he said, man, I trust glasses. This is this little nig got kind of race them. So hey, I'm gonna put you in here. Y'all fired. Now that breads like an issue between me and them just right. So now they're like, oh, this is Nick Finn, you know. So I'm in the house now. So now I'm in the house every day, right, I don't have to look for a customer. All the customers were found, so that coming to the door, I'm looking at them through a screen,

through a screen, right, I'm doing the deal. Here, go to Sharon Bamn. I really came to see what I'm talking to. Most of the time, they have to know me and I have to know them, right, damn. Then when it got to the curve, once the house got shut there, mind you, when I'm working in this body's

paying me three hundred and fifty dollars a week. That went to five hundred dollars a week to sell cern I'm selling roughly six to seven thousand dollars a day in germ M. Every stick I'm may after three hundred dollars. Nicknamed water Boy. Right, every stick so it ounced right, A ounce of PCP. Right, you used to get thirty deep cigarettes out of it. I was really good. I

could get thirty five to forty. So every dollar I made on top of that, I got to keep the money right, so that five hundred will look closer to two thousand by the end of the week. Then I went to the curve, I'm selling the same ship. Now I'm seeing everybody. Nobody looks like that. These ain't like bum Nick. It's not like that. He's regular motherfucking killers too, blow your fucking at off. So it had to be a level of respect. It's beautiful strippers, it's nurses, it's

a different type of products. So as I'm doing my thing with it, right, by the time I got to my own house, which was in Mona Park on A hundred eighteen, right while I was running it and my show, I knew all the customers, so I never had to go find any another question. Like I knew some girls. I'm not gonna say, how what the hell is that supposed to mean? You, motherfucker? So they have some of your older brothers and whatnot, and you know, your various

family members depending on which one you asked. Shout out to my shout out to my log Bob right, because Bob oh my life, like yep, and I was one of them. And if you Bob, Bob gott a fucking billy for me, you you won't know. Motherfucker's sharon. Ain't that kind of drug? Yeah? But like and you were

talking about, you know, selective chemical usage and whatnot. Because I did know a handful of people who had relatives who had been former users of that who were like I won't say retarded, but they were like they weren't good, Like they weren't who they used to be. So is that the result of getting now I say stepped on because it's water, but like you know what I'm saying, with bad chemicals, that then does that And that's what that's what you got mixed up with a bad supplier.

So unless they're liars, which they couldn't know. So you never know how chemicals gonna affect bodies, right, It's like it's like your job, right, you could give somebody medicine for me and you don't know how it's gonna refect, like it could affect a body. Don't get me wrong. If if you custom sharn with some break fluid, the motherfucker throw the swoll up. Yeah, I mean, if you use a cheap cut and and it's things that you could do wrong. But when people have those misfires, is

most likely just a bad chemical reaction. It's not It don't even have to be somebody did something wrong. It literally the body just didn't accept it reacted fucked up. So it's not again, it's complicated. Sarmons Like some ship it ain't you sidnized trying something like real ship? Isn't that ship prepared? And some ship? So you gotta know what you're doing with it. You feel me it's it's serious, so but I'm not playing. I'm they're serious, but you

don't know who's who. So it was always this elevated feeling of a hustler because I felt like I was dealing with other men like me. Like I said, one of my mmies is all my life. For me, this nigga get to money like we get to money. Didn't matter that he's smoked. No motherfucker's niggas having money. He wasn't no raggedy nigga right to this day, this nigga getting some money. So you always felt like they can choose differently until you started me like, oh, this ship

might be a little bit more powerful. Then I'm giving it credit for it. So as it safe to say that, it's kind of like, would it be equivalent to me saying, ain't my nigga, you gotta bottle hook up? Oh for for alcohol? Yeah? Would that would that be like? Yeah? Because because you would be like, ship, my nigga move, he drank, ship, I'm getting my bottle. Yeah. But see that's where it gets tricky at right, Like who is actually alcoholic? But I'm just saying like from selling shirm.

So if I asked and say, hey man, let me get a stick, is that would that be equivalent to you? Like ship, that's equivalent to you saying that nigga grab me a bottle from the liquor store. That at that time, that's how I thought, Okay, it's functional alcoholics. It's functional alcohol. I don't even think there's a real People always ask me because why I don't drink, bro, I grew up with real winos, Like the alcohol is strong with nicks, be laid out in front of the store, fuck up,

laid out you feel me? That was real alcohol. This ship, y'all dragon now is not real. They didn't cut this ship down. Nigga's got to drink a hundred bottles to get there. Feel me, That ship ain't real? Are you talking? Are you saying that? Back when you were younger, they didn't have certified organic mixers