It's Night Side with Dan Ray on WBZ Radio.
Well, thank you for my intro. I'm used to having now with me on Saturday because i have my own show, The Morgan Show, ten to midnight every Saturday here on WBZ. But I'm here filling in for Dan. I filled in last night, obviously, I'm filling in now and I'll be here tomorrow and Polka dot December dates. I have seven Dan Rays. I'll be filling in in December, primarily several days before Christmas, Christmas, and several days after Christmas. I'll
give you this specific as we get closer. You heard the news. You heard the story about people at the Pine Street Inn. It is quite common this time of year to have people that are depressed, they're homeless, they don't get calls. I guarantee you I get at least a dozen calls today, and they made about a dozen more telling people in my world Happy Thanksgiving, and people in my world telling me the same thing. That isn't fair for so many people, that there's such a focus
on connection a friend, Happy Thanksgiving. I've got a doctor here who deals with depression and issues related to depression, and she's here to help all of us know more about how to deal with people in our world who are depressed. Doctor round the good deal. Thank you for coming on BZ once again.
Hello, so glad to be back Lorgan and Happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving to you too.
I do think that, as you said, I mean, this time of year is very mixed back for some people. It does bring up a lot of issues. Depression, tiredness, stresses a lot of issues that people deal with in the holidays, and we can give them a little bit of ideas of what might make things a little bit better. By the way, one of the things you did which also helps people is when you call someone and wish
them a happy Thanksgiving. Doing something for someone else actually makes your a day better, not just what it does for the other person. So that is a good thing to do. Let's say someone doesn't feel like they want to be home, they really don't want to deal with a lot of people, but even calling one person and wishing them a happy Thanksgiving will actually do something for you.
I agree with that. Yeah, I do that every year for every holiday. I do it for Mother's Day. Women that I know in my world who are moms I do that for Obviously, Smith's and Harnikuah. You know, I just feel that the simple four seconds of a phone call can mean something to somebody.
And particularly at this time of years. Sometimes this time of year does bring up to people the loss losses they've experienced, what they don't have. And I what I want to say, I mean, you know, is that it's very it's very high sometimes in this time of year to have realistic expectations on ourselves. And so sometimes I just say, give yourself a break, you know, if you only can do want to do one thing out of five, it's okay, right, it's all right. I'm guessing it's okay,
you know. You know, so I think that's a lot of it is what we think we should do. We have the primary thing everybody should think about. If we don't take care of ourselves, then we can't do anything for anybody.
And I'm guessing one of the things that causes depression is not having enough money to celebrate the event, the event of the day, to buy enough food. There are some people who just couldn't buy enough food to have a family dinner for Thanksgiving. There are some people listening who will not be They've got a husband or a wife and children. That's three gifts. If you have two children and they don't have the extra money it takes to buy a nice gift, they can buy a gift,
but they want to buy a nice gift. And you see the commercial.
You know, I think you're right, and I think what. There's a couple of things I'd say. I think all of us remember this and know. In one of the courses I teach in development, I have a lot of adults, and one of the things I ask them always in this question is when you go through your life, they're all like over twenty five to like fifty five, sixty five, I say, tell me the gifts that really meant a lot to you, And almost all of them this is
still people listening who don't have money. Almost all of them mentioned being with some person, not a physical gift, right, that was the gift. So what I want to point out to people is the thing that makes the most, what merely means the most to most people, is being with them, laughing with them, taking a walk with them, playing a mind.
Game with them.
You know, it could be anything simple, you know, you know sometimes you know it's just like I don't know today, I was with my own granddaughter and all we did was play Shoots and lives in between the getting ready
to Thanksgiving. But the thing is, I just want to point out that it's simple things and people when they go and if I want them to think back in their life and think of the things that really meant something to them, because sometimes we get so caught up and we have to get the right gift and we have to get this, and we have to get that.
When I asked them to remember something from their child to this was amazing to me because we always think when we have these kids seven nine times, they don't even have many memories before it can for one thing, and they definitely don't have to do with gifts. They don't have to do with gifts.
Well, let's do an experiment right now. I want people to think about the question doctor Gooddale just put to you, call and talk about again. I'm going to break it into two. A gift you received as a child any age second, third, fourth grade, ninth, tenth, eleventh grade, just say a child, a gift that you received, and as well, a gift that you received as an adult.
And what meant what really meant something to you?
It packed a punch that you got that when you open the box or the package is like, oh, you shouldn't have you gasp, you lose a breath. Call me, call me tonight right now six one, seven, two, five, four, ten thirty or eight eight, eight, nine to nine, ten thirty and share with thirty eight states. And that's the
other thing. Sharing, sharing the news about that gift, whether it was a tennance bracelet or a ten cent candy necklace that your your four or five year old kid gave you share some of those momentous memories with doctor Ronda Goodell and myself.
Yes, please here on WBZ.
I'll let doctor Goodell talk more about depression. But let's see if we can get people who are brave enough to share here on night side time and temperature nine fourteen forty two degrees.
Now back to Dan Ray Live from the Window World Night Sike Studios on WBZ Newswaiting.
I'm Morgan Morgan White Junior, filling in for Dan Ray. He's got tonight off, he had the last I think he said the whole week off. I'll be here tomorrow night and he should be returning on Monday, third of December. No second of December will be Monday. I've got doctor ron a good deal here. And a few minutes ago she and I put a question to the audience. Can you remember a gift that was given to you while
you were a kid? I'll target it second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth grade, somewhere in there, and as an adult, a gift that really meant something to you. It could have been from a parent, a loved one, a school teacher. I don't know. And Chris from Winthrop is the first to call in. Hello Chris, Hello, Chra, Hi, how are you happy? Thanks? Heving you?
Hey, thank you so much.
Yeah.
I loved the program, and so yeah, I guess I'll just talk about, you know, a couple of my favorite gifts growing up one and uh yeah for sure and and uh oh for me, it was a big family, two brothers and two sisters, and so Christmases for us were well, they were amazing. You know, I have wonderful parents. And certainly I remember one of my favorite gifts was a bicycle, I remember correctly. Yeah, it was like a
quick silver bikeycle. Yeah, you know, and and that was just you know, one of my favorite memories growing up. For sure is getting that bicycle for Christmas were you looking forward to for a long time?
Was a surprise? How did that happen?
I would say.
Yes, because you know, a lot of the other neighbor viewed kids, you know, had bikes new by and it was just something that I wasn't sure if I would be able to get it, you know, because my parents, my dad made a good living, but you know, we weren't wealthy by any stretch, and you know, having the siblings that we had, but my parents always found a way to provide us with great Christmases and birthdays and things like that, so it was it was amazing. I just remember, what.
Are some of the memories you have of the what was great about them these holidays? What was what was the things you remember?
Well?
I think one of the biggest things I remember is my brother John and I like used to kind of crawl down the hallway to try and seek it out gifts that very literally in the morning, and it would creak, and my parents she'd be like, get back to bed, week to ship me up all night. My mom rathroom presidents, and she would hear us trying to creep down the hallway and and being excited as kids and never wanted to go to sleep because you know, it was right around.
We still believed in Santa and so and then uh, you know, they used to separate the gifts on the coach, like I would be on the left side, my brother would be on the right side, and it's just the father will be on the chair and it would be like just an amazing morning of the presents that were wrapped and unwrapped. It was unbelievable.
You know.
It sounds like the presence were great in the sharing of it and the anticipation and all of it.
That's so true. Absolutely, yep, yep. We you know, lived in the same place for twenty five years and that was really special for us to to you know, always be in the same home as kids and not having to really move around and growing up with all urniahblehood friends and that meant a lot for me. That'smorrowing up for sure, all.
Right, Chris. The other part, christ the other part of the question was as an adult, is there a gift you can look back upon and say that was a wow gift?
Absolutely? Absolutely. I was probably I was maybe thirty years old, and I believe it was a birthday present. My mother had got me a bosewave radio with a six CD changer and that was the I still have it actually to this day, twenty deep plus years later. It still works great. And I couldn't believe the present I knew I was. It was expensive back then to get a boswave radio, you know, with the four speakers and the
sixth dis CD changer. Because I've always loved music growing up a lot of concerts, and that was an amazing present, and you know, it was such a special memory for sure.
That's great, especially that you got it for me mom. That's great.
Chris.
Absolutely, thank you so much. I appreciate it, and.
I want this holiday season for you to be the best you've ever had.
Yeah, please have a great holiday. Oh.
I certainly will appreciate it. Going to California in a couple of weeks and here you go, be back in time. Yeah, and my daughter and my grandkids and my family. So I appreciate you all too, and have a great holiday season. Thank you so much, Chris.
Thank you for your call.
And doctor, I've got an answer for each.
Oh.
I was raised by my mother and grandmother, and we were not rich by any stretch of the imagination to steal Chris's quote. But we weren't poor, and the stores gave away stamps, the grocery stores and some other stores SNH Green Stamps, plaid stamps, et cetera. So we always saved. And that's how I got my bike. I was in the side and the bike came from sn H Green Stamps, and they had a redemption store in Cambridge. I went
with them. Now you think they're going to bring out a bike for you, they brought brought out a huge box that barely fit, barely fit in the car, and we had to take it someplace to be assembled. They said, they suggested the place to take it, and they said it might cost you a couple of bucks, which it did.
But I had this brand new Murray brand name Mike Schwinn Red bicycle, and all my friends had bikes, and I would stay at my best friend's house until around five point thirty when my mother would get off work and pick me up. So they all rode bikes, and there was an extra bike that didn't have brakes that I was allowed to ride around on. Now no breaks, so I couldn't go fast, and it was not the best bike in the world, So now here I am
and I could keep my bike at Winston's house. That was my friend's name, and they are about three or four or five of us, and we would ride all over the South End, up and down Saint Ptol's Street, down mass around the Christian Science Complex. And that is probably, as a kid, the best gift I ever got.
Wow.
And as an adult, I was married on Saturday, it was Valentine's Day. I'm watching sitting on the floor in my bedroom watching college basketball, and I hear my wife come in and I heard a noise that didn't make any sense to me. It's like clicking down the hallway. There's a about eight nine feet of a hallway from the front door to the bedroom. And in came this puppy, a German shepherd puppy, a ball of fur, and he came right up to me and started to nustle me
and jump on me. And I named him hack hjck, which is a basketball term for somebody who fowls a lot. And I used to have that nickname playing basketball. And she said, you know, I didn't know if I should get him or his sister, And I said, well, why didn't you get them both? She said, you can't handle both. I said, I'll buy a book on training, which I did. She went back to where she got Hack and brought back his sister, Honey. And that's the best gift as
an adult. I ever got Hack and Honey, and they were my babies, and I trained them. I bought a book on training German shepherds and a videotape on how to train German shepherds. I trained them both on verbal commands and hand commands, and they were well behaved dogs. We lived in the city and I could walk with them without fear of them being destroyed by people, of pigeons or squirrels. And they were my children. So there, I've answered your question.
You know what, I think it's great, and I think you know it's listening to you the association of who gave it to you and what you did with it, and how long it is, how the type of meaning it adds to you long before that long long more than that one day. Just like the bicycle for that kid, it gave them a lot of experiences.
Yeah, oh, you brought me back, But I'm on the radio and I got to focus, like for an example, in about a minute after take a break. So when we come back and want you to focus on giving people clues. So heads up, how we can recognize that our friend, our family member may be in depression denial because a lot of people, How are you doing today? Oh, I'm fine, don't worry about me. That's a standard answer. That's a deflecting answer. How do we dig under that deflection?
Okay, we can talk about that. Yeah, right, definitely, And.
If anybody wants to call in, you want to call in and share memory, but a gift you received or something that's.
Definite, even telling us how you yourself have dealt with if you've had depression, So how you've dealt with the holidays? Please share?
Six one, seven, five, four, ten thirty eight eight eight, nine, two, nine, ten thirty. I am Morgan. My guest is doctor doctor Rhonda Gooddal, and she's here to help. I've used sir in many circumstances, just to help ease our minds. Time and temperature on night Side nine thirty forty two degrees.
It's night Side with Boston's News Radio.
Welcome back, I am speaking. Well, let me back up a second. Let me tell you who I am. Some of you are used to hearing Dan Ray in this time slot. He's on vacation this week. My name is Morgan Morgan White Junior. I have been filling in for the past day and a half yesterday today, and I'll be here tomorrow filling in for Dan Ray on night side. My guest doctor Ronda good Dale. She's here and I always bring around when there are subjects that a licensed
psychologist can help my listeners handle whatever circumstance. And the holidays bear some bitter fruit. A lot of people get depressed for variety of reasons, and that's why I have the doctor here and I've got a call. Let's see what Joe in Belmont wants to say. So Joe, welcome upon you.
Ye Hi, Hi Morgan, and Hi doctor Ronda. I'd like to offer two cures that helped me with being down and depressed. Okay. For first, You're got to get yourself out of the house. And what I do is I go to a Burger King, a McDonald's or a Wendy's or a Duncan Donuts or any coffee shop in the center or town, and I have conversations with people. Some people will ignore you but that's the price you have to pay. You know, they don't want to talk, but
that'll help you in depression. And a lot of times I when I walk around the a reservoir in my neighborhood, I say hi to people. And would you believe that a lot of people thank me for saying hi to them? That's how bad off they are.
I believe that. I believe that, as.
I said earlier, just a little greeting to someone can mean a tremendous difference of people just acknowledging you're here.
Yes, So what do you think of my going to coffee shops and stuff like that to fight depression?
Great? And it helps the house.
I forced myself to get out. You can't be isolated.
And it's so great what you're saying here, because I mean, it shows people listening that it's small things they're getting out, saying hello to this own person. They can change things. And it changes in two things that you're doing something to take care of yourself, you're walking, you're getting out, and the other thing, you're doing something for someone else and making their day better.
Happy Thanksgiving guys, Happy Thanksgiving to you, and happy holiday.
Take care. Write back at ya, thank you. All right, So doctor, what that pair of suggestions about just greeting.
People don't have a very good idea.
Intimidate people, because some people are intimidated if a stranger speaks to them. But just a simple hello, greeting and getting out the house, that's part of it.
Absolutely, yep. I mean you said a couple I want to say a couple of things. I mean in one of the things he's saying, which is really too it can be very small things that can make us feel better. It doesn't have to be huge things. It can be looking at a window of decorations, it can be just calling a friend, I mean, and the major thing in the holidays, because people get so overwhelmed with the gifts and the work, just do a little do you know, do one thing. It doesn't have to be a lot
of things. One thing, because you know, it's like with anybody, like they need to clean the house, they say, oh it's overwhelming. Do one thing. Say I'm going to spend five minutes and give away one thing. Do one thing. I'm going to take five minutes and call someone and then I'm going to relax. So it's one little thing at a time. It's not like overwhelming stuff and people should you know, whether it's a walk going out and just being happy for that moment you're alive that you're
able to be able to walk. I think those you know are very important. The other thing that you said, which I think is important for people to know. We said before the break. If you see people all of a sudden that you know well of losing interest in things, and they have seen to be persistently sad or they're not they're reporting they don't sleep well, and they don't seem to be eating much, and they have a lack of concentration, it says they may be in a depression.
They may be in a depression, and you know, you want them to basically make sure that those individuals are getting some help, you know, because and one of the things that I always say to people, the things that I was saying, you break lage tasks into small set realistic goals to yourself. Try to be with other people, just like you were saying, at least for a little maybe confide in one person, right, not a lot of people. Do you think of anything that makes you feel better,
whatever that is, do it for five minutes. I don't care if it's taking a shower. You know, find something that makes you feel better. And by the way, exercise does tend to make people. Actually, I know a lot of people don't do that. The regular exercise, whether it's just walking, really makes a difference in people's lives. And the last thing I want to say, don't think that your move's going to get better right away. I'm going to feel great. It's a slow process. It's a slow process.
But when you look back, Let's say you began taking walks the third week of October. Here we are the last week of November. When you look back, you'll see how well your body responded to that consistent exercise of walking exactly in the middle of doing it, you necessarily won't recognize.
That right, and it's very gradual begin to feel better. But you know, I also think, I mean, there's also something called the gratitude thing, thinking of one thing. You're grateful for one thing, even no matter how many bad things are happening here, what's one thing I'm grateful for? I always ask people, give me one thing that makes you feel good or that you're grateful for.
I'm going to turn this around on you doctor Gooddale, what's one day you are grateful for?
Oh, Like, for me, I am so grateful that I wake up every day and then I can have another day. I mean, honestly, I think very early on, when I was about eight years old, I always say people I had a uncle I was very close to and I lost very suddenly. Yes, and I thought, and even though I was only eight, I still remember thinking, it's really important to do what I want to do with those persons because you never know what the next day is going to be, whether you're going to be here or
they're going to be there. Right, So I think I'm very grateful every day that I can do something. You know, I can shear something, I can do one thing, I can see the sun. I'm just very grateful. I'd say that's what really for me is a very persistent thing, and it keeps me optimistic no matter what's going on. I don't mean that I don't get upset about things or anything else like everybody else, but I do find that when people ask me why I am so optimistic,
it's because I do feel that way. I really have a sense of gratitude about the fact that I'm here and.
I'm going to answer the question, and it's a very simple response. On my part, I am grateful that I have the mind and memory that I've been blessed with. I can remember the most finite detail, you know, Pickier say to me eight years old, ten years old, fifteen years old, and I can remember as if it's written down on a piece of paper in front of me. Issues wow, that were pertinent to me at that specific time,
And I am so thankful for it. The ability to recount circumstances, whether they were huge circumstances or the first time that I went to the Music Hall theater just to pick something weird. It was a Christmas and I saw Disney's Sword in the Stone and my grandmother took me and that was the first time I stepped foot in that theater. And I've been in that theater many
a time since. And that's just like a rolodex in my brain that I can just flip my fingers and stop on ABCDEFG, whatever, and tell you about that specific moment in my life. Now. A lot of people can't do that. Thankful I can.
And it's wonderful about guys. It makes you remember things that other people forget.
Oh, I remember the weirdest things. And for a while you base it on school, because it's one hundred and eighty days that you spent in a regular environment first grade, second grade, third grade, fourth grade, fifth grade, the teachers you had, where you sat, what subjects did you respond
strongly to or weekly to? And I'm able to put my finger on the specifics of that because I haven't destroyed a lot of my brain cells like friends and colleagues have with alcohol and drugs and whatever have you, and whatever power I'm supposed to have at my a, I do and I haven't done anything to diminish my ability to recall. So that's what I'm thankful for.
That's great. And I know and I know in these holidays, you know, when things come in, people do forget things like that, like something like that that you have that you can remember that you still have your mind, they have your memory. I mean, whow. I mean a lot of people don't have that. So yes, that's and I think a lot of times we tend to think of what we don't have rather than what we have and what we actually have.
I remember our first show you and I and I'll ask you do you remember the first time I brought you on.
Yes, Yes, after the very sad situation with the marathon.
Yes, and very thank you for remembering that we did that together. We did, and we spoke to thirty eight states. And I think my focus was to talk to kids. Yeah.
We were trying to tell parents, parents and kids to tell how do they deal with the kids? They're children at home?
And that was the first show you and I did together. Yes, And you and I both recall it, and I think that's important. Let me take a breaking to say.
No, I was going to say that that was the reason we remember. It's like such an important thing in remembering how much that touched people's lives, and they and I remember that radio station because we had a lot of calls that night and remembering hopefully being able to help people a little right.
Yeah, in those days, we were doing it from the station on Soldia sild Row.
Yes, we were.
I miss I missed those days. I missed broadcasting from that site. Oh well, let me take a break if you want to call in. I only have roughly ten twelve minutes left with doctor Ronda Gooddale, and when we come back, I'll have her give her backstory, so you know how she got to be doctor run the Gooddale here on night Side six ten thirty or eight eight, eight, nine, two, nine, ten thirty call in, come on time and temperature nine forty five forty two degrees.
Now back to Dan Ray live from the Window World Nightside Studios on WBZ News Radio.
We are almost out of time. I've got roughly eight more minutes left with doctor Randa Gooddale, and we're gonna go to Canada first and then the Brookline masks. So Darryl good evening.
Good evening, doctor Goodell, and uh good evening. You guys have hit a certain topic that is so cool even today when you go back to memories, you think about what you were talking about and you can bring back that memory. And you were talking about animals and whatnot. And I was lucky to have a canine whom I named d Day with four white with four white socks. But he was born with a heart on the center finger.
And what type of animal was the day dog? A cat wine runner dog.
But you referenced even in conversation where you go out and actually your last caller mentioned about just having a conversation with somebody. Yes, you can do that in line, like even today at Costco because the lineup is so long. Then you can make a joke or whatnot, and you can actually make somebody smile. And there was a new family because we have new families coming in from other places. And walking by a couple of young lads in a shopping cart top part and you say, hey, little buddy,
how you doing right? And they turn around with a big smile and say, hi, how are you? Yeah, And so it's the it's the whole thing about somebody like that. A young child even will remember that and may smile and it may cause somebody else's smile.
Well, it's nice about that. It's like they remember it and you remember it.
Oh, And it's the whole thing. It's about passing it on. And it's a great topic you guys are doing.
If I see a parent with a child in a store, more often than not, they're holding a child's hand for obvious reasons. You don't want the child to run off and get lost in the crowd. And I smile, and I look at the adult and I say you were that size once, and they usually smile, and it's all it's all meant just to make the the person smile. And I do that with some regularity.
Well even when Dan's on sometimes about sometimes you got long lineups and you can break up the monotony just by again making somebody smile.
Exactly, Daryl.
So you've come up with a home run response.
That's great, Darryl. Thank you so much for sharing that. And it was wonderful what you did today. You made someone's life better.
No, but every everybody can do it, and you guys do it every day by just conversation on the radio.
Darryl, thank you very much. Take care you guys, take care of happy holiday. And this next caller is familiar with both of us. It's Bill Winneker in Brookline.
Go Bill, Hi, Bill, you know Rondo Bowe and I love you because when we hear you on with borgon and when we see one person, your voice, in your.
Eyes, just just being around you makes us come.
We don't need any pills as long as we know you.
And you know what, you can't love her because I love her more than the two of you put together.
Well we'll have to have a battle over that one, all right, Kill, I just love I just have to say this. Having Bill on the phone listening to them and their music. It makes my life so much larger. I do want to say this. I mean, oh my god, I mean you guys. Yeah, what else can I say? I mean, you just contribute so much to everybody with your music. How much you love it.
They will be on tomorrow night from nine to eleven tomorrow night.
Well, I'll listening tomorrow. Okay, listen, Bronther.
You do the exact same thing.
So that's why we love you so much.
We feel like you're one of us.
Oh, thank you.
Anyway, the time is running out, so I hope you both had a great Thanksgiving and.
Help you.
We will definitely be calling to see you. Dan and I will come and see you very soon.
Oh we'll look forward to that. We love it when you come. And you better bring Morgan too.
Okay, Well, she's promised to come see my show, which she's never done.
I am definitely doing it. I am planning to come to see your show.
She doesn't do that.
We're going to bring her to see you, all right, nice surprise.
Yeah, we'll do that.
Okay, So what's on your mind? You called us?
No, my mind was to say how.
Much we appreciate uh, the doctor. She takes care of us by soothing us.
In a couple of minutes, I'll give you two minutes your backstory, your history.
Okay, well I'll give a little bit of my back door because it's kind of an interesting backstory because I have a very mixed thing myself. I mean, I definitely am an academic, but I started off. During my academics, I was also a dancer with the Boston Ballet, so I'm very much in tune with many aspects of people's personalities and the arts. I went on to study both
teaching and students who have emotional behavior problems. So I ended up getting many degrees in teaching as well as psychology and working and helping children and families in terms of issues related to psychology. And I ended up going to several schools North Eastern BC and many schools. So it's basically my back and I think for me, you know, as I said, I think anything anything, and this is
true for all of you. It doesn't take a lot of degrees because I think, you know, even though I certainly have many of them now, I think that basically the way I felt even long before I had a degree, with the things that we talked about. It's all these simple things that you can do to make life a little bit better. And I just want to say, because I know we didn't talk a lot about it, but some of you are out there trying to figure out
how you're going to deal with the holidays. Just do a thing, make a list and say what's important, what's just throw away? All just like one that you can do, and you're going to be okay. And you're going to be okay, and you're going to make it through. You're going to make it through.
True words and never spoken Bill. I look forward to speaking with you and your brother tomorrow nine do lesson here on night side. Doctor Goodal. You know I love it when you're on. You you help people. Your kind words and approach helps people. And I just found out something I didn't know about you. I didn't know you were a part of the Boston LA for a while.
Oh yes, one of my my youth. Thank you for coming on all right, hope.
To continue to have a great holiday season.
You take copy holidays, everybody, Okay, take you.
Next hour, Ed Robertson will be here talking about classic TV programs four in particular time and temperature nine fifty eight forty two degrees