Overnight Camp Jitters

and Beau Winnaker. I hope you heard that. Doctor Bill and Bow will be here tomorrow from eight until ten and then at ten because it's the fourth of July. I've got Jack Hart, who's like my local historian. His day job is driving around a tour bus letting all the tourists that come into Boston know over there is where this happened, and over there is where that happened. And he'll be here from ten to midnight giving us some July fourth history. So that's my nightside plan for

tomorrow evening. And you heard me referring to a doctor. I first had her on during the marathon bombing, and how parents could explain that event to children. We as adults, we've become kind of jaded an acceptance of these terrorist circumstances, But being a kid in the third, fourth, fifth grade, it took a special hand and guidance to help them understand that. Where my next guest shines. Please welcome doctor Rhonda Gooddal. Hello doctor.

they can learn all sorts of new activities. Three they can learn and to appreciate how to deal with things when it doesn't go right. They can build their resilience. So camp offers a lot of incredible opportunities for children to grow in many ways. And whether it's day or over night camp, I mean overnight camp provide an additional

challenge of kids being away from home. But some of the major studies show that overnight camp actually is quite a growth experience for children in general, but they have to buy into it. I do want to say this that on any camp, we have to listen to children, and we have to listen to what their own thinking is in this, and we have to address their anxieties in some way. They should be involved in the decision making as much as possible, whether it's choosing a camp

with specific activities that they're particularly interested in. I know, sometimes with overnight camps, the parents take them or they show them pictures, you know, through zoom of the different aspects. They also try to find out what their anxieties are. What are the anxieties that the child might have. I mean sometimes it is sometimes kids don't know how to take a shower. They've only taken a bath and they're

going to go to camp. It's just showers and giving them those experiences, letting them take something that's very close to them, like so that their bed will be like their bed, maybe a special stuffed animal or special thing that is very important to them. And yeah, anything that makes them feel much better. Maybe practicing sleepovers if they've never been away, you know, like with a friend's house. Visiting the camp is kind of would be helpful if

the parents can do it. I know they rezoom, but it's a little bit different to go there in person. And sometimes and just basically not taking a lot of time when you drop them off, in other words, don't linger, you know, basically say goodbye. Make sure they have like the necessary equipment to write to you, the pencils. I mean some parents, I know in my own case that my daughter labeled everything for a camp. She she's going to overnight camp. She's eight years old, she's going for

the first time. Everything's labeled. I think the major thing is to really talk with kids and also share your own positive experiences with the camp. What did you like? You know, what did you find helpful, even if it's even if it's showed them, because sometimes parents say, I have a child with a disability, If you have a child who has some sort of special needs, just find out what the camp's situation is. Do they have counselors, what they support systems, what do they offer children? And

children can learn a lot. I even say if children fail at home, because sometimes parents want to protect children from failures, but by failing, they understand that they can be resilient, that they can understand a little bit about themselves, whether it's a failure in an activity or a friendship. They learn more about themselves and they can gain more

strength as they go through these experiences. I also think of people listening to us for parents out there or you know, is to think about your own experiences in camp. What worked, what didn't work? What can you share positive with your own child. Those are some of the things that I would say, I.

like four weeks at Camp ol Samoquin. But I was also fortunate that my family had family that lived in Plimpton, mass So for at least six or seven summers, sometime overlapping my elementary school years and junior high school years, I would spend the summer at Margaret's house in Plimpton. And these memories are still quite clear. I have one of those memories anyway, But it's amazing that none of us got hurt climbing trees or doing boys stuff in

the summer in Plimpton. They had a huge property, so we could wander over. I'm gonna say three fields worth a property. There was woods, we could climb what we all called the camp tree, which was a big evergreen tree at the foot of the woods. And tell you what, I gotta stop. I'll keep going because it's time for

a break if you want to. You've got a son, daughter, niece, nephew, grandchild, and you might want to make a couple of comments because you know they are hesitant about going away to camp. We have a doctor. Now, are you a psychologist or a psychiatrist or both?

Let's say they're seven years old. They've never been away from home at camp, and they necessarily don't want to do this. I've got doctor Gooddial good Dale here, a psychologist, and she's got suggestions on how you can make it easier for your child to accept leaving home. Doctor, what is it about leaving home that a lot of kids dislike?

change can bring some aspect of anxiety with it. So one of the things to think about with that is to go through what a day would be like with them and what with their meals would be like, what would their sleeping arrangements be like? And making things so that you can talk about it with them and they can and talk about their anxieties, what other anxieties about this, and basically to try to help them to feel more

comfortable with it. How to make their bed more like the bed at home, how to you know, talk about building in some of the routines even though it will change, and also emphasizing a lot some of the new things. And I think you were saying somethings and you were talking about your camp experiences and more going about how you learn new activities. I think that's one of the major things with camp that you learn new skills, things that you probably are not going to learn in other places.

And also not having parents there, you're learning a lot about how to negotiate things without your parents. So you're building some strength about yourself as a person. You're beginning to more understand more about yourself. It is very important to know who the counselors are in a camp, how

camp is run. That's very important because if a child does run into problems, you want to know that they have a support system and so to explain to a child so you can say, well, if you're having problems, you get you'll have people to talk to, you know, so that the child does feel that they have a comfort zone there. That's some of the things to think

about with camp. I know myself, I actually went away from overnight camp from the time I was four years old, so I really had a lot of experience with overnight camp. And I think I do remember my sister was quite young. My mother was not well time, and that's one of the reasons we ended up in a Nova night camp. But I remember my sister who really wasn't used to it. She was just sent and she was very young. We

can talk about that in the second. The age, you know, it was a big adjustment for her and for me it wasn't as much it was. So you have to know the age of the child. So that's what I was going to say, three and four is very young, I'm clearing when mostly overnight camp, you're talking maybe eight, nine and ten for starting and having other camps toforce, like day camps or other experiences before they get sent away.

sister going to go there. So there's that factor. And then in terms of overnight camps are quite costly, so people, depending on the family, they're you know, looking at what are some of the options around, like we why camps and other camp options that are available in your community for children, because that's sometimes a factor two in the overnight camp experience.

you're at home. When they get there, like at bedtime, they're exhausted, they've been running all day aring and you know, actually, so it's a little different than when you're home because the activities that gee it doing things and they usually it is even activities in camp, whether it's a campfire with roast marshmallows, singing songs. These are some of the fond memories that kids will have. Some kids, I mean have cand friends. They have the rest of their lives.

They can they make friends and I can remember sometimes kids have battles in kids. But one thing that's kind of interesting about it is, and I think today, in this day and age, we have many more helicopter parents who monitor everything goes on with the kids. What kids learn without their parents is how they can be resilient, how they survive without someone jumping in. And even if something you know, they get heard or they get up end up being rejected. How do you deal with that as a person?

do it. I guess the parents can provide someone, do you think, But then they would have to actually orchestrate many of those similar experiences. So and sometimes parent families, instead of going to camp, have a routine where they visit relatives, they're another part of the country. It's a totally different routine. For they give and they're visiting different people, they're going on a trip, they're on a car, this

and that. So I do think it's important for families to think about the different experiences you're exposing your children to in the summer and what they're going to learn from the end of that. Like schools, I know, do a lot with the book. There's a lot of things that schools actually try to structure for this. But I do think that if you talk to most people who've go out to camp, and I'd love to see some of our people call in their own experiences what was

good about it? One of the things that they learned that they never would have learned anywhere else in camp And I know for me you decided to talk about it. You did things like archery. I know I never would have done any other place. You know, some of the activities that we learned very specific to camp, to the ball. There were certain activities that were very very different that you might not experience in other places. Did you find you learned the new things?

a day and a half. And the fact that I was that good at ten years old at putting an arrow a good thirty yards away with precision, the bullies left me alone. And the other thing that I developed a kind of a skill for mumblety peg, the thing you had a jackknife and you would throw it from your shoulder, from your elbow, from the back of your hand. I forget the routine, but I kind of excelled at that.

So having a skill or a talent allowed me to become a bit more in the general population of popularity, to say it in a simple way, and that's the key, because if if you're in camp, find something that you can do that will give the other kids a reason to say, hey, look, Joey's pretty good at doing that, throwing a horseshoe, Hey look Sally's pretty good at that. Whatever the activity may be, let's all make a gimp necklace. It's not easy to do, and do it quickly and in an attractive way.

here on wbz's Night Side with Bradley Jay Monday. I'll be back next Thursday and next Friday, and I'm always here on Saturday. My guest right now, doctor Ronda Gooddal noted psychologists. I want to make sure I state that correctly. And we're talking about the kids who are going to be sent to overnight summer camp. It's easier in concept concept with a tea to send them to a day camp because they're coming home, no matter how much trepidation

they may be dealing with in their head. They know they're coming home at four o'clock, five o'clock, six o'clock. But overnight for a week or two weeks or more of camp can cause a little consternation in little Junior or little miss. So we're looking at ways to make your child feel more comfortable being sent to an overnight camp. Now this is twenty twenty five. I don't even know if going to an overnight camp is as popular as it was when I was a kid in the sixties, doctor is it.

One of the things I was going to say though, which I didn say before, I think generally the age which is I mean is no fixed age, but generally I think when kids are between seven and fifteen is a good age for that. And I do think that it's good to stop them in camp. Are different things like day camp, shorter sessions, and as you said, sometimes The Why does offer like you had talked about, a week or two weeks, in other words, more shortened sessions for a child to get more used to going away

to the camp. I also think as much input as the child can have, the better if they If it's choice here, you know, anytime that people feel more in control, they feel better. So whatever choices they can make, even about the clothing we sometimes like there's an outfit, or even how they pack, or you know, or what they're going to bring or you know, any or even the activities maybe they can choose when they're in a camp,

when they look at what the camp offers. The more choice they have, the more in control they're going to feel. Most of us like to have some options. So and I, by the way, I like what you said before the break about feeling. I think it's great for children to

get some area where they're really expert at. And like you were saying about the archery, well I can remember even a kid sometimes just having understanding more about cars and more about different animals or reactivities, whether it's swimming or gimp as you talked about. That's a big thing in camp, learning how to use you know, gimp and making lariots and all that. Or it might be in a plane camp sometimes they do singing, and that's the

other thing a camp. Sometimes they're exposed to things they will never be exposed to again, and they find they're good at it. Like you said, oh you're good at atrey. You might not have ever known that unless you went to the camp and all of a sudden you find out something new about yourself. And that's the other thing you gain one knowledge about yourself, you gain more skills.

It makes you lodger as a person. I think whenever kids have anxiety, what I do think parents a grandparents should be doing is not just poo pulling them away. Find out what they are. Listen to them, you know, don't tell them, oh, it's all going to go away, you know, find out if they are scared of going away, and what are you scared of? I'm scared of being you know, just sleeping without you know, without day. Well, okay, let's find something that's going to make you comfortable or

you know, I'm scared about what my day will look like. Okay, let's go through the routine. And sometimes even when they're going to an O WHENI camp, a good thing is for them to get Usually camps will do this, have a list of former campus that have gone there that they could talk to, like sort of like a guide when they're there, you know, like a little older camp.

But what their what their anxieties were, did they overcome them, how did they overcome them, you know, And I think that can be helped like a buddy system, Like having a buddy that you know can be helpful to you to negotiate what their experiences were. So that's another thing to think about, you know. I do I think that if the parents actually sometimes I'm more worried than the children. That's the idea I want to say. So, sometimes parents are very anxious. They get more anxious about the kids

of what will happen. He likes this is she likes that. You have to have I do think sometimes parents are a little overprotective. You have to have confidence in your own children's resilience, you know, because when you're not always going to be there, that they can solve something. So what happens if they cry, what happens, if they get hurt,

They're going to be okay. They're going to be okay if you trust, If you're in an environment where you think that the people in charge are knowledgeable and the parents should they should look up how their camp is r on, they should look up the reviews. They should talk to maybe parents who send their kids to that camp, you know, So that in other words, the parents themselves needs to feel more reassured that that camping experience is going to be a positive one for their child.

some scholarships. But you know you and so let's say a child's looking and they really love a camp, it's all good to call, even if it's not listened. Call the camp find out what's their options. If it was my kid and I really really wanted to go, I thought I would do, but I you know, it's always good because you never know. Sometimes things are writing, some

things are not in writing. But the local things I say, the most visually, the more cost effective things generally are things like why, things like in some religious organizations that offer things. So it's either boys clubs, girls clubs, why, things of that nature, and most of them will offer a week or two away. And then the other thing to think about is if you are thinking an overnight camp, you know, have the kids save. That's the other thing.

If they really want to go somewhere, that's another thing they can contribute. They can save, they can do choices, they can do things because they get money, usually from relatives, so they can feel really part of it in a way that's meaningful. The more they're part of it, the more enriched the experience will be for them, That's what

I would say. And the more you give them opportunities the more the less that you put into it, and the more the child puts into it, the more the opportunity will be worthwhile for that child.

teenage years when they're going away, there were different issues involved. Yeah, because it's well also and because of a lot of camps, even by fifteen or sixteen, they can be like counselors in training. So this, Oh, that's the other thing I talked about. Some camps have children who are teenagers. They've guild them so many responsibilities, learning how to deal with things and learning how to negotiate things because they train them, you know, to be counselors and how to deal with kids.

So that's another whole opportunity for children who are more like fifteen who parents are saying, what am I going to do with my fifteen year old?

looked for. And then another friend's daughter decided she wanted to go to Kayo White camp. All right, both the same age, So it's you know, each child has different again, the more comfort zone, more interest. As much as a child can make some choices here, that's a good thing to do.

they could be Christmas, first day of spring. You'll see that'll be this Saturday tomorrow, being Friday, July fourth. I mentioned Bill and Bo Winnaker will be here talking about their career, and they've gone away to Maine. They are sacrificing some of their time on vacation to be on Night Side with me and I do appreciate that. And Jack Hart, he'll be here ten to midnight and we'll be reviewing some of the special events people circumstances around

the fourth of July. But right now, for another seven or eight minutes, I've got psychologist doctor Ron good deal and doctor what should we let people know about you that may put a special light on your career.

the camp, I'm working with people who work in those situations, and so I can I basically that is what I feel very much that I can support, although of course I know a lot about adults too, but that's my focus. I wanted to mention two things I forgot to mention. American Camping Association is a very very important point. Go

to google it. It's worldwide. It's you know, American Camp Association, and they lift all the camps and what's good about camps, what's bad about camps, and all of those information, and also in terms of more reasonable camps, Girl boys, Scout, campfire, all those types of camps are also places to think about. I wanted to make sure I said that for parents who are looking for, you know, looking at resources for camps and reviews about camps and what certain camps are like.

The other thing that I didn't say, which is kind of important, parents should understand when the kids go away, that's an opportunity for you as adults to find time for yourself to do things. And I know a lot of times, I know that sounds funny, but a lot of times this is when the people go out and do their own hobbies. You know, they have more free time because usually when your kids at home, you don't

have that. So it's an opportunity for couples or individuals to develop some of the things they like to do their hobbies. It could be golfing or just reading books or whatever, the walks, whatever they like to do. I think sometimes that that's a very interesting like sidebar here that it gives an opportunity when people are with their children all the time, you know, to really having that space of time for themselves too, as individuals or couples

or whatever. So that's another whole little thing that is like a sidebar. And the reason I say that is sometimes you talk to families own and I'm not going on a reason that the couple is going on a vacation or so it's kind of interesting to see what the parents do are the you know, our parent does when the child basically goes away to overnight camp.

some time in this area. They were from this area, but they moved to South Carolina a couple of years ago. But the key is a traditional approach. She sat in between the two kids on the plane. He was in a separate seat and he liked.

know what they're going to do. It's very unpredictable with little infants. But anyway, yeah, so I do want to say, and now we're getting to the end. I really hope I mean I took o we didn't get more people calling about their own camping experiences. I hope people out there, you know, will encourage if they themselves. You have people in realize either friends, which most people obviously have friends, or family who have children. This is a really good

experience for kids to do this. And you know, I really encouraged them to do this, to send kids away to a camp at some point, even if it's for a short period of time, because it really is a very valuable experience for kids to have, right.

of kids from not my neighborhood, not my YMCA. These were kids that were from all over the state of Massachusetts. And you think a swim and I fortunately learned to swim and learned to adjust. And now at that point, I got like thirty seconds that they say thank you and good.