Nightcap - Hour 2: Best of Life Advice - bathroom etiquette & flirting techniques

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Man, I'd have been a lot of locker room, damn to my whole life.

I mean what I played from pee wee allway to my NFL career Hotel, I played twenty six seasons the same of organized football.

It's a lot of locker rooms.

Hey, When you talking to a guy y'all in the shower, you keep our contact O.

Ways straight ahead.

You ain't no k you never looked right. Same thing, hey, listen. It's called etiquette. It's called shower, and it's called bathroom etiquette.

At the urinal.

For one, you go into the bathroom, even in public, even in the locker room, you always skip your skip funeral.

You who got to fit next to somebody on Joe.

And you always look forward if you hold a conversation. You never looked left the right.

Yeah.

Never.

Oh yo, guys, I ain't gonna be rude. You know, I'm I'm trying to be level, But bro, I'm not shaking your hand. We at the urinal. Don't you reach your damn hand across there talking about what's up?

Huh?

Not shaking your hand. I'm in the bath through the other day, Oh Joe, get what.

The guy said, let's get a selfie? I say, not here.

Come on, y'all do it? Come on, row, y'all doing too much. I don't even.

I don't even.

Hey, all other do you give your little head nod in the bathroom? I give your head nod. Hey, we can have a conversation outside if we're not going to have no conversation.

Yeah.

A lot of people don't understand the bathroom back get especially in public.

You might see someone you shake it, oh Joe, I don't give it damn if I know you, If I if I'm coming in the bathroom and you coming out, I ain't finna dapt you up because I ain't show you wash your hands, because I've seen too many people going there drop mud and come up out of there, pull the pasts something, walk run up out of them, drop.

Mud like that. I ain't never heard that drop mud.

Okay, yeah, and walk right up out of them. I said, oh, no, no, no, man.

So that's why, hey, in the bathroom, I've said, hey, yeah, nah, hey, how you doing. But man, people, you don't realize how nasty people are until you go into the bathroom in the airports and then you see you understand, you know, come up out of that thing, oh Joe, pull that pants up, walk right up, rap the look as you wrapped right right up out of them. I wouldn't eat at the house if I was a hostage. Nah, it's gonna let me start. Keep me down here in the basement.

Ah nah nah, they gonna pee, Hey, wash their hand, bro Damn, how you walk right by the.

Seat, oh Joe, Because because normally the you'rners over there and you gotta walk by the seat to get to get out the door. How you walk by the now wash your NaNs, stand's hands and then you're gonna go order. I see him standing right in the line or the chicks for Leil pop eye piercing hand. Oh hell nah mm hmmmmm. That's why the a And you know what, Joe, you know you trying to give them the fist bump? No, they hey, let me shake it now? Bro here you there, you go, power power to the people.

Ah hell no, bathroomicuan people, bathroom manticut you learn.

Yes, that's all I'm saying.

Bro.

No, I don't think I'm better than you, but I.

Just know through my experience of traveling, I've seen too many people come in the bathroom and walk right up out of there after pin or dropping mud it did h And do you think and then you think I'm supposed to just like hey, just shaking. Just have a conversation with you? What you're in town for?

Bro? While we talking? Oh Joe, who having a conversation?

What what's so important that you got to have a conversation in the bathroom? Chat now, my role. I mean, I mean, I mean, I don't. People might think I'm bro. I'm not fit to have no conversation with you in the bathroom.

Man, what you in? How long are you in town? Listen?

I say one thing.

If you try to engage in commons, Hey, I'm hall let you all side, bro, Yeah, your side.

It is okay, Bro. I mean people, Hey, oh Joe, the people, me and Ashley. Joe was traveling yesterday, so we all fiting. We got our lucky. We tried to we got a little thing blocked. Then dude, he you matter if I sit down and talk to y'all looked at me, Jordan looked at me. I look at my bags.

Sure, Hey, what y'all were talking about?

We were just know, we were just talking because we got we were in uh what the hell were we DC?

We're in d C.

We got delayed, so we know, we just sitting down, you know, we just sit down talking, laughing.

Yeah.

And the guy just kept hovering around, you know, like and you know me, oh Joe, I ain't trying to make no eye contact. You know, ash ain't no good in triloquist or nothing. You know, the guy, that guy what Jordan's like, you're.

Right, you till you're right. Ball like yeah, I see it, and like he gonna come up.

I'm like, sure enough, here you goes he came up. You man, if I uh, man, if I uh sit down and talk to you.

About what?

Hey, man, they just want to engage in a little conversation. Man, get a chance to you know, know you personally. You know. They see you on TV, they see you on Nightcap, you know, and it's an honor.

It's an honor. You have to understand.

Normally, when I go into a public when I go into a bathroom, I'm trying to hold my brow.

Take it there, Okay, you're right, you're right.

I ain't trying to talk. I gotta breathe in order to talk. I ain't trying to breathe them fune in.

But you also have to understand who you are.

People don't really have a chance to see you often, you know, So anytime they get a chance.

Wait, tute me outside, even.

If it's in the bathroom. No, they're gonn say something.

I go in. As soon as I hit the door, I hold my breath.

Oh man, Oh that's that's crazy. I think I'm out people just got.

To because I ain't going. I ain't.

I ain't never going. I ain't going to. Oh no, I wait right, definitely ain't going over bad Please, young young do nothing to a public Oh no, I wish I might.

Well listen if I if I gotta go half the.

Time, God, look like somebody that smashed the pumpkin against the wall.

Oh hell, yeah, I know, I know what you mean.

I'm lasted. I listen.

I'm using the math. If I got if I got to go number two. And most of the time in public restrooms, they don't have.

No they have the tourletna, I'm good. I wait, I can wait.

You put a toilet seat coup on them, you know, protect.

But they ain't got no torn in seat covered in there. People don't peed all on the floor a man, Come.

On, man, but damn, where the hell you at?

But they ruin in the bathroom.

Like that, and the and the airport.

Grandma, my grandma called me ugly all my life growing up.

I'm gonna take your word for it. I'm done with you, old ugly self. Okay.

I try to.

Convince nobody you did you mean that, cause you said you remember the other day you said I was ugly?

Did you mean it? Nah? You said I'm good. I will keep it moving. You can't.

You can't take it personally.

I ain't taking just hap be what I look like trying to somebody go call me ugly and didn't think I'm gonna be with them.

I beg.

Come on, when, oh Joe, we're grown. You do that in the fourth grade, when you in elementary school. You gotta crush on somebody. You hear them what your ugly self? You make me sick? Type of games?

I mean she really like you? Shoot? Hey, I mean she and real called me ug you sometime?

Was she bad at you?

Yeah?

Exactly? When?

When when are women the most honest when they was when they're angry when they thank you?

So probably maybe maybe I am. You know, I listen, I ain't.

I ain't.

I'm not done.

I ain't top ten in the world. I'm not strong six and a half, especially with a haircut. If I get a haircut, Oh long as I'm long, as I'm above five, I'm straight now when I ain't got no haircut, and you know I ain't been on the waist.

I'm I'm a strong I mean love, Yeah, I mean, I guess that's what you like.

I'm looking for.

Like you said, I'm trying to be I'm trying to be a strong six seven.

A seven.

Yeah.

I mean you say, if you you want your girl, you would you you won't you? So I mean you say, what what would you say? Real to what? Nine? Ten?

A nine?

Not? Real?

Real?

She probably I get I give seven and a half.

Hey, real you now if you ain't that me said that?

Listen my dog she she man, she she about it, she about a ten. I out kicked mccurvy.

You did out killed And the only reason, the only reason, she probably listen, the only reason she with me is I wont because of my personality.

I just got it.

I said, I'm gonna just be honest, because you know what they say, if you can make a woman laugh, you're gonna laugh. I ain't gona aint gonna say, you know, yeah, I give what you saying right quick quick.

But uh I look, it just depends.

I mean, look everybody, you know, everybody there, there's the lookers that you know that's gonna get you, like you know that hey you got you got you got some steppers that's gonna make you do a.

Double tate like yeah, yeah, they walk in the room and.

Yeah, and then you got one. You got something. Did

Listen?

I mean obviously, depending on who you are, especially as a male, sometimes you want to seven. Sometimes you want a six and a half because you take a six and a half and you get a hair, her feet and.

A face.

Beat. Oh she's good, and then you ain't got to worry about everybody asked her.

You got to worry abody.

To realize the moment you you can get you a two the moment, o cho, So somebody gonna water because they want with oh cho got.

That's how it works.

You can see a woman walk by a thousand times, but let somebody what bro you saw walk by this?

She's been working in this office for four years.

She's been single. Ain't nobody and you ain't mentioned nothing. No flowers have never come, no cars have never come. You've never seen nothing go out like, oh I gotta go, I'm going to meet somebody for lunch or for coffin.

But the moment somebody will show a little interest. I been damn man. Man, you you know Stephanie look good mother.

Man.

They do that all the time. Won't yo.

But you talking like I said, Look, I'm what I am. I got a nice personality, I can carry a conversation.

I'm what I am. What you see is what you get. Uh.

You know, like I said, when I was, when I was, when I was growing up on your in college and high school, you know you got a homeboy.

Cause women a lot of times you ain't.

Gonna see five or six teens together because they're gonna be vickery.

So you gonna you ten, eight, seven.

And they're gonna be about three or four two's and fuse, they gonna be a couple of tools and fusing there, oh joke. Now, the one thing about women, they not gonna spin her. Guys, if if if if five or six guys go out together and this one and the people say, hey, hey, you know, hey, what you're doing and let's go get something. Hey, bro, check this out. I'll holler at y'all, right, hey, such and such. I'm going blah blah blah. Women don't spin it like that.

I got you. But you know my girl, you know she ain't got nobody. He got up. I go, i'ma go in and break him off.

I'm gonna give hi about three hundred dollars so you know he could go ahead and do what he need to do.

Keep her occupied.

Well, I keep this, but you not gonna find no five, six, seven team's together because there's too many strong personalities. And if somebody talking to one of them, oh that be he he will he been, he being my DM, he be in my d you know that talking all.

That's uh, that's community, that's community. Pp anyway, I ain't want it. Yes, So it's gonna call compusion more time than not.

Women they have, you know, one or two that look really really attractive, but you know they're.

Gonna have They're gonna have about three or four two with them now, oh Joe.

Yeah, always, always always.

I'm gonna say, I ain't taking one for the team now. I wasn't either. I ain't gonna got that in me. Man, Come on, come on, Sean, No, it ain't nonna come on Sean, no, hell nah, come on, bro, don't put your boy out there like man, but uh that half of oh Joe. But like it's like you said, like I look, I can talk care on the conversation.

I got a nice personality. Hey, what it is? I ain't am I ten? Now I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. What I am? I'm fifty six? O Joe. I move a little move a little smoke. I got the same.

I got the same here cut I had since nineteen seventy two, starting to receive a little bit at the top.

But what you see is what you get.

I can tell you why why eighty percent of the NFL continues to get hurt and the injuries, the soft tisser injuries continue to increase year in the year out.

I can.

I can tell you, but nobody want to listen to me. But no, the NFL teams want to be bringing all these goddamned specialists. We've only goddamned pie charts and shit you know on whatich you is supposed to consume and how to import your nutrition and intake is and everybody continues to get hurt.

Don't listen to me.

We play a fucking barbaric sport.

But all you motherfuckers eating like goddamn rabbits and won the way your body can't hold up and it's only week god damn three. Yeah, but you don't want to listen to me. Huh, eleven twelve years, no injuries. All I did was dislocated my goddamn finger once. Shit, But don't listen to me. Listen to the motherfucking people that never played the sport before, but they telling you what to put in your goddamn body.

I'm gonna listen. Listen.

I'm gonna listen to the guys like Megatron that say the ate healthy and Jerry who Mega Tron.

Okay, that's a good one.

What about what about Jerry.

Jerry that that that that's a good one.

I mean, look to each of the I just felt that I just wanted to.

I just felt that I was gonna get in what I put out, and so like during the season, I wouldn't need anything bad, right, That was just me and And but here's the thing, though, O Joe, the mind.

Is the strongest muscle that you have.

See, you believe eating that what nothing gonna happen, And you convinced yourself. Most people believe that if they eat healthy, they'll be healthy, and they'll perform better.

It ain't happening because all the motherfucker's hurt they on I r soft tiss your injuries, my hamstring, my ankle. I mean, I'm talking about the but it hurts me because the best players are the ones getting hurt.

And on Sundays, I want to see you play.

I want to see you play.

I'm mad at pooking the core poo pooking. The corp had a historic rookie season last year with the Rams.

You know what he ate every day? Last year?

He had McDonald's. He was a McDonald's advocate, just like I am. He changed his diet in the off season and started eating healthy. It's not a coincidence, but you.

Have to understand the o jo. A lot of guys don't have your frame. They eat McDonald beating that bull job they're gonna beat. They're gonna be three hundred pound, they're gonna be twenty thirty pounds over.

The weight, time out, time out, time what you mean? A lot of guys don't have my frame.

It's only won me exactly, it's I know, hey, listen, I know I'm built like a he Man figurine.

You know, sixty chisels up. I know everybody built like this.

I'm a special. Yeah, I'm a special. A lot of guys to eat. You know, we got weight. I don't know if y'all had weight, had to make weight.

Listen, I was over wait a few times.

I got hey, Listen, Marvin fined me fifteen thousand right before the Ravens game. Right before the Ravens game. I

I ain't worried about that.

I think the thing of O Joe is that I don't I don't think the guys give their body enough time to rest.

You don't think so.

I don't they believen, they BELI even practiced.

Know what I'm saying. I'm not. I'm talking about.

All they do is they go from soon as the season over, they start back running and they don't take no time off.

Oh I see what you mean. I see what you mean.

Damn, give your body take a month, take two months off. I don't think that's it.

We were doing two of day.

Yeah, we took, we took. They don't.

They don't put the body through the ringer enough. They're not practicing enough. But we gotta get the body ready for that

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