Welcome to Nice Ashes, I'm Nate. And I'm Mike. What are we smoking, Mike? We are smoking the Knuckle Buster Maduro. Which sounds really good. Punch! Right, it's a punch cigar. Uh, yeah, it is a punch cigar. That has punch on the label. Not a mainline punch, but it does have it on the label. The cap was spicy when I wetted it, and the first few puffs are spicy, as one could expect from the cap. You've been ahead of me, last cigar and this cigar. I'm still lighting.
Yeah, well, by season three, if I'm not at your pace or above, I'm not learning hard enough or something like that. My lovely wife and I went to the theater recently. I saw. We went downtown. Very nice. Yeah. I will tell you, gentlemen, all of you listening, downtown Minneapolis reeks of piss and broken things. Definitely does. Piss and weed. Piss and weed. We, I didn't smell any weed. I only smelled urine. We parked in a private building, obviously. We're going downtown to the theater.
You can guess which one. We got off the ramp and the ramp smelled like urine. Went into the things. We went to Candyland, which is a very famous candy shop. Very nice. Directly outside of Candyland. I have been. Yeah, directly outside of Candyland. Urine. Markets. On the street. Broken trees. Somebody fell onto a tree and broke it off. I can't believe anybody did it on purpose. They fell over. I get it. But broken trees and urine. That's what the streets were like. It was very disappointing.
Ambience not met. Just saying. Well, hey, at least the buildings weren't on fire. So you got that going for you. Well, you know, three years, four years, whatever the fuck it is. Indeed. And that's, that's correct, Nate. It was sad because I've been to Candyland. The last time I went to Candyland, I was driving my vehicle and not Sarah's. That was the famous incident where my truck got rear ended with a hitch and we turned them in to the company that rents vehicles to people who had body damage.
You remember that? I think I told you. So if you rear end somebody, don't just drive away. I called them in because I saw their vehicle sideline and hopefully they got in trouble. I don't know, but my vehicle didn't take any damage. That's for sure. Mike does have a robust rear end and it's very rare for it to become damaged. Well, my pickup has a robust rear end. That's for damn sure. Oh, the pickup. Okay. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We were downtown with my truck and we got rear ended in my pickup and I had a hitch. So they hit my hitch and they backed up and tried to pass us on the right. This person, whoever they were, had a car from an auto body shop where they damaged their original vehicle and they had a loaner car. So they took the loaner car and they rear ended my pickup truck. Got into a portage. Yeah, they ran to my pickup truck by the Target Center right downtown and they tried to pass me and drive away. Classic.
It was classic. Sarah and I talk about it all the time. So dumb, so stupid. So we went again to the candy shop. It smelled like piss everywhere. It's crazy. We got to clean up our downtown areas. It's not safe. It's bizarre. And there's security personnel and everything there. Everybody's there that should be there, but God damn it, if it doesn't smell like piss. I mean, people are pissing everywhere. It's insane. I mean, breaking trees off and being crazy, you know, it's not right.
I don't know how else to tell you. I should be able to go downtown and enjoy a show and spend my money and go home safe. It's not that way. Well, not smell piss. I know the Europeans... Piss and broken things. They break broken things, you know? It's not okay. I know European cities have a lot of trouble with peeing and that was when I spent a month living in London when I was in college and when it did an internship over there.
And it was bizarre to me, but everybody there, instead of like peeing in the thing in the bar or the pub or the club, you go out in the street and just pee on the side of the building. Well, since going there and coming back, I've read stories of they've developed like anti-urine paint so that when you pee on the side of the building that has this paint on it, it basically repels the pee back onto the person pissing.
So I don't know if we need that sort of thing downtown Minneapolis or what the situation is with that. But I do know that it does smell like piss a lot down there. It does. I wore tech pants today, like technical hiking pants, and I pissed in a urinal and my pants had piss on them. I urinated into the urinal and then I had at least equal amount of piss on my pants directly. You're just doing it wrong. You're just doing it wrong. Pissing too hard, apparently.
Yeah. Yeah. You're too eager about it. Also, outside of the candy shop in downtown Minneapolis, I don't think I should have to smell urine in the hallway with a fucking security guard there. It's crazy. I don't understand what the problem is. That's where you're wrong. You should be smelling it everywhere. It's the state smell, right? You got the state birds. It's crazy. And there's like broken trees. They got those little trees in the sidewalks and they're broken off, like big trees.
Somebody might have fell into them and broke them off. I feel like somebody broke them up with this though. It has been hella windy too, so I don't know, but I didn't see the damage. There is no tree to which is the diameter of all of them. I don't know. I didn't see the fucking damage. It's sad. It's pathetic. I can't understand. You tell me I'm the cynical and negative one and it could have been the wind. I don't know. Dude, I don't want to think bad about people.
I want to think good about people, but jeezy crazy, you know, we should have nice things. We should have nice things. Everybody should experience nice things. There's no reason for it. Are you saying you want everybody to have a pony? Almost like they're a brony. Ooh, is that what we're talking about this episode, Mike? We are going to talk about bronies. I'll have you know I'm drinking a Sierra Nevada Juicy Little Thing IPA, which isn't that the name of one of the ponies?
The Juicy Little Thing? Dude, I'm not going to get into the name of ponies. That's fucking weird. That's fucking weird. All right, so I feel like this is going to kind of harken back to like the 1950s McCarthyism. Are you now or have you ever been a brony, Mike? I am not a brony, but I was there for the start of broniesm and I looked out on it. And now I'm more accepting of broniesm than I was then because I was negative brony. When broniesm started, I was there. I'm anti-brony now.
You were a bronony. You're anti-brony or you were anti-brony then? I'm an anti-brony now. At the time I was pro-brony. I was cool with the bronies. You were a brony and now you're a pronony. Yeah, I was pro-brony. I just thought of the best. Now I'm anti-brony. Yeah. I am pro-brony. I just thought of the best RPF ship I could create for you and all the bronies. That's what I'll be doing. I'll be working on that. Maybe I'll let you read it or I'll send it to Hasbro. Perfect. So, broniesm.
What is broniesm for the listeners who don't understand? Which I'm guessing is everybody. Or some of them. Bronies. If they understand broniesm, then they are old hats and they don't need to listen and they can just enjoy the show. For the rest of us who are not old hats. Maybe they know what a bronie is, but they don't know the details. For those of us who are not old hats.
So the beginning of broniesm was something that started where it was on the edge of normal behavior, quote unquote normal behavior on the internet and it went too far. Because once you start, you can't stop, right? Once you start a role, you can't stop it. At the time, circa 2010, 2009, you could have a lot of thoughts. You could say something and it was off the cuff. It didn't matter. But if it gained momentum, it got out of control.
So broniesm started like circa 2009, 2010 on 4chan back in the day with the good ones, the real ones. But if we were to talk, one of the horses from the pony princess palladium or whatever, right? Like we have this- Is it a horse or is it a pony? Both. They're princess ponies, right? Broniesm is princess ponies. Remind me of the name of the show, Nate. What's the name of the original show? It's not about what the original show is. My Little Pony. Oh, no. It's not my little horse.
It's my little pony. Isn't a pony different than a horse? Yeah, for you and I maybe. Back in the day, 2009, 2010, these things mattered. But somebody said, let's fuck one of the horses from My Little Pony. And broniesm began. It started as a meme, my friends. Somebody said- Yeah, I don't believe that. I don't believe that. Of the old days, of the original times, of the internet. Let's fuck one of those horses from My Little Pony. Now, I need to make a very clear distinction. And this is a fact.
Ponies are full grown horses that are less than 14.2 hands high. And when they have babies, those babies are called foals. Ponies aren't a subspecies of horse. They're actual horses, just smaller than a cutoff point. But ponies are not baby horses. So they are horses. So they're shorter than what you would consider maybe a full horse. Sure. I don't think real horse terminology matters. What I think matters is that back in the olden days, when we were all young bucks- Yeah, people wanted to fuck.
Those guys said, I want to fuck ponies from My Little Pony. And those people- Alright, so in the middle of Mike's explanation of what a brony is, he hit restart on his computer update. Not quite, but yes. And now I'm recording on my phone. So I'm a fool. Blame me. It is all good. All the problems of your life. Realistically, Mike is a problem for every problem you have in your life. So blame me. And that is what bronyism is, in a nutshell. They blame, bronies blame Mike. And bronies blame Mike.
So circa 09, 010, guys were watching My Little Pony. They're getting off to it somehow on the internet. And all of us guys back in the day, we encouraged them to do the things they were doing, which is watching My Little Pony getting off on it. For some reason, they were watching ponies. So Hasbro, I think is the company, made ponies for the bronies. So these adult men are watching this child show about ponies. About ponies and they're pushing agendas. And everybody is going in this circle.
The pony show is about children, but the pony show is that has adults. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we're all doing this weird circle. So the nerd shows start showing up. There weren't any nerd conventions previous to like 2001 for sure. And now these nerd shows are showing up. So My Little Pony has this convention space at these nerd shows with bronies. They don't have any children. And now we have bronies because there's adult men watching My Little Pony jerking off to horses.
So really short, really short update. I don't want to get into details for you gentlemen, but I can tell you that circa 2009, it was a joke. And we on the internet, maybe I was one of them, pushed these bronies and getting into ponies. And that by 11, they were into ponies. They were into pony. And by 12, ponies started showing up at convention circles. And adult men were showing up to conventions for nerd shit.
You go do a convention show, we're going to go see Tool, we're going to go see Primus, we're going to go see Jerking Off the Ponies. That's how it worked. Is that a good cap? Is that a good cap? I know we jumped. I'm sorry, gentlemen. I failed at life and I did not do the right thing. And I am the brony expert around here because I love the bronies. They're hilarious. I might have known some bronies. It's weird, really weird how it's weird, really weird.
But the bronies jerk off to imaginary horse characters that are pink. And blue and yellow and purple and all that. And bro, yeah, it's like Care Bears, it's like Care Bears, but ponies. Yeah, or Teletubbies. Mike, would you say the bronies are attracted to actual horses and ponies or just the My Little Pony ponies? No, absolutely not. The bronies are absolutely not attracted to actual horses or actual ponies. They are online people that instead of anime girls, it's anime ponies.
Right now, right now, circa 2024, there are people who are anime girl attracted. You know about that. Everybody knows about that. Anime girls attracted. They're not anime girl attracted. They are pony animated attracted. It's fucking weird, dudes, but it's real. It's bizarre. And they follow the stories. That's the other part is that these bronies, they watch all the stories. Like you and I would follow the stories of Asoka. Asoka. Like I am a Soka fan.
I do Clone Wars. I'm a big Clone Wars animated fan. I think Asoka is the best character in Star Wars universe. These bronies, they watch the animated versions of My Little Pony and they imagine in their heads adult storylines on top of the child's storylines. They want to fuck the ponies. It's interesting and weird. Like I do not want to fuck Asoka in Star Wars animated universe and Asoka is my favorite character.
She's really the only animated Star Wars universe minus that horrible show that we all got in the book that Nathan shared. I do not want to fuck Asoka. I have no special trust. But that book wasn't a picture book. You know what I mean? No, it was a novel. Yeah. They don't have novels either. These bronies don't have novels either. It's like an online community of art people. So I guess I didn't get into that. The bronies are very good at Photoshop. They all have GIMP, which is what I use.
I do not use Photoshop. Same. I do not own rights to Photoshop. I use GIMP, which is... You know. Yeah. So do you. I use mostly... I think I use almost 100% open source software in my life. I use... Well, we're getting a little too close to the cuff here. I use open source software for my personal life and I use officially authorized software in my professional life. Is that acceptable? Well, yeah. Same. Same. Yeah. In my personal life, I use all open source software. Yes. Which I use GIMP.
I mean not all. You're having Apple after all, but... Apple after all. That ain't no lie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These guys are using open source software to make images for each other to jerk off on. Like My Little Pony is a company, whatever company they're originally from, which doesn't even matter anymore. The subculture is all like sex shit and they take the storylines and reimagine them for adults. I would love to get a storyline from the bronies. Like, give us some context.
I'm gonna try to find it, bro. I don't know. I don't know if I can do that. I don't want to go to jail. I don't know why you would go to jail. Here's the issue of the bronies. They want to talk about these fucking guys. It's like animated. They imagine themselves in the My Little Pony universe and they jerk off about fucking ponies, but it's My Little Pony, like little kid stories. So we can try to get the origin story of the bronie.
The weird part, they want to put in an adult version to the My Little Pony stories from the beginning. So it's almost impossible to get an origin. The real origin is on 4chan. On 4chan, these goddamn cocksuckers were encouraged to be weirdos on 4chan because 4chan is bad in many ways. 4chan is good in many ways. These weirdos were encouraged to just go off and now every goddamn story of My Little Pony has an adult version. You can look it up online if you want to.
If you have a child that watches My Little Pony, there's an adult version of every My Little Pony story. There's an alternate reality. Let's put it that way. There's an alternate reality of My Little Pony and that's what the bronies live in. It has nothing, really nothing to do with My Little Pony that your children look at. Yeah. So I think what you're trying to say is the My Little Pony show is not inherently sexual and whatever.
No. It's just that these bronies have watched it and taken it and in their own mind and in their own fan fiction stuff have made it so. I do have one question for you, Mike. These bronies that want to fuck the My Little Ponies, do they envision themselves fucking the My Little Ponies as humans or do they have like pony personas? They have pony dolls. They have pony dolls. They want to fuck the ponies. That is no joke, bro. They want to fuck the ponies. There's no persona.
They want to bang ponies. Not real ponies. Okay. Drawn ponies. So there are pony dolls that they make that have orifices for like fleshlights or other inserts so they can bang pony dolls. Yeah. They bang. If you're a brony, you buy a my pony doll of your favorite pony and you insert like a fleshlight of some kind, a male masturbation device of some kind, and you bang the pony with the thing in it and then you clean it out obviously.
I imagine they sell conversion kits at the Brony Conventions, right? Never been. Why don't you tell me? To a fuck toy? To a fuck toy? Why don't you tell me what they do? You're just trying to get nice ashes to go to a Brony Convention and do an episode there so that you can get your conversion. Let me tell you, I'd go to any Brony Convention that anybody legitimately invited me to. And my wife and I would go outside of nice ashes. If I was invited to a real Brony event, I would fucking go.
For sure. It's weird. I was there at the start. It was a joke and then it became real. You know what I'm saying? Like it was a fucking joke. And then it became huge. Way too huge. Like there's a lot of Bronies out there, aren't there? There's a lot of Bronies out there. And then tens of thousands, literally tens of thousands. That's the part that's crazy is that it's such a short story. Like 4chan created it. People accepted it and they took off with it and then now it's this thing.
And people want to make them sound like, you know, bad people, quote unquote, because they're not normal. And they're certainly not normal. But they're not hurting anybody. They just want to do something that's not normal. Yeah. And because it's not like they're not attracted to the little boys and girls that watch My Little Pony. They're just attracted to the ponies in My Little Pony. Well, you hit it on the head. I was trying to avoid it. They're not into that.
They're like internet people that watch shows and somehow through the magic of the internet, instead of being attracted to men and women the way that I am, they're attracted to characters on the show that happen to be ponies. Fuck off, by the way. I saw what you did there. I was trying to be inclusive. You said attracted to men and women like myself. I was trying to be inclusive, motherfucker. I was trying to be super inclusive.
OK, I'll send you your little virtue signaling badge in the mail, but I'm going to put your zip code in brackets. Listen, if it looks like a woman, I want to fuck it. That's it. I don't know if it looks like a woman. I want to fuck it. I'm not interested in anything else. We're going to talk about Richard Dolls all later. Maybe next episode. We'll see. I'm not even sure how well we explained it because it was so fucked up with my recording and your recording.
I also have a significant amount of cigar left. Do you? I'm down to like an inch and a half. I have two inches. OK, that's fine. We're pretty obvious then. Yeah, we're close enough. So the bronies, again, it's like there's not a lot of research to be done, guys. It's just an Internet meme that happened back in the day by old, old people. Mike, you said it started as a meme, but there had to have been one person at the very beginning that wanted to fuck a My Little Pony for somebody to encourage.
Had to have been. I don't know the original guy, bro. Who knows who that person is? I know. I'm not saying you did, but it's not like somebody said, hey, it would be a funny meme is if somebody wanted to fuck a pony for My Little Pony. And then somebody else was like, you know what? Actually, I do want to fuck a pony for My Little Pony. It was probably somebody wanted to fuck a pony for My Little Pony and was like, hey, does anybody else want to fuck the pony for My Little Pony?
And then somebody took that and made fun of it to the point that a lot of people wanted to fuck My Little Ponies. Possibly. Yeah, yeah, possibly. There's like a whole subculture of people that want to fuck ponies for My Little Pony. They don't want to fuck children. They don't want to fuck ponies. They want to fuck My Little Ponies specifically, like online. Not just the My Little Ponies, but the My Little Women and the My Little Children too.
Bro, they make My Little Ponies specifically so you can fuck them by the company that makes My Little Pony. Hasbro makes My Little Pony fuck dolls. That's correct. That's where we're at in life, guys. What does one of those run, Mike? What does one of those run? I mean, what an exciting time to be alive. I may have looked it up right now, Nate, and I hate you for making me look at it. My Little Pony. I mean, I don't even know what a regular woman shaped sex doll costs. Fuck doll. Look it up.
You're using an incognito window, right, in your browser, Mike? That's regular. Don't care. Looks like upper 200s. They're cheapy. So cheap. Cheaper than an actual pony. I have an access window. I'm over 18. Access-pervident. Oh no. Yeah. $1,900 for a good one. I went onto a website that said access-pervident. And kicks or what? $1,900, my friends, for a pony. Like the real pony shit. Does it wiggle and jiggle or what does it do? $1,900. Does it make you a sandwich after or what?
There's a subsect of the internet that has sex doll shit, right? We're not part of it, you and I. Hopefully none of our listeners are doing that. I'm getting a guess. Given the 12 listeners that I know, we're not doing it. I don't care if you have a sex doll. Why would I care? No. 12 listeners, of all I know, we all know each other. I know every listener. I'm not judging you for having a sex doll. But if you have a My Little Pony sex doll for fucking- You know the one in Germany? $1,900?
I'm judging you. Eh, I don't care. You want to have a $1,900 My Little Pony you can fuck. I guess more power to you, right? Bro, you could have paid me $1,900. I could have made a sex exhibit in your house with electricity. I'm not against it. I like where this is going. I'm not against it. But if you have $1,900 to spend on a sex doll, you could spend that $1,900 to improve yourself and find ladies.
And I know that if you're trying to fuck My Little Pony sex dolls, you're probably not looking for ladies. But you should probably be looking for ladies. I don't know. That is beyond the cuff for my acceptable level. You know what I'm saying? I want to be accepting of all people. But you're going beyond- I was part of the original My Little Pony craze of like, oh yeah, you should fuck My Little Pony. Oh yeah, fuck My Little Pony. I remember that because it was a joke and then it became real.
It's not real. You can't fuck My Little Pony. That's the thing, guys. People judge the bronies like they're pedophiles or like they're animal people, whatever. They're not. They're specifically into My Little Pony. They're not bestiality people and they're not pedophiles. They probably would be otherwise, maybe. You know? Maybe that's an argument. The My Little Ponies are a lot more like the anime people, right? They speak. They talk. They show expressions.
The anime women are not drawn proportionately a lot of the time. I don't really have a problem with that. I have a bigger problem with bestiality than I have with My Little Pony fuck dolls. You know what I mean? If you want to have a fuck doll of a My Little Pony, I say go for it. You want to have a waifu pillow or whatever the fuck it is, go for it. What do I care? I don't give a shit. They're online with waifu people. You said the B word. I did not. You said the B word. I did not.
They're not on the same bestiality. They're not on the same. They don't want to fuck animals. No, I never said they were. I know that, Mike. They're on the same wavelengths of people who want to fuck anime people. I know. I'm saying that I have a bigger problem with bestiality people than I do with the My Little Pony people because it's not the same. It's an animated almost humanoid pony thing. It's talking and it moves like a human. It doesn't really move like a horse. Like whatever.
I don't care. You want to fuck it, go fuck it. You want to have a Sonic the Hedgehog fuck doll? I don't care. It's not an actual hedgehog. You know what I mean? That's on the same wavelength. Yeah. Those people are not trying to fuck animals and they're not trying to fuck children. So they're weirdos. Yeah. There's a lot of them though. Why should I care? There's a lot of them. Now we're only aware of them because of the internet.
They were always there, but because of the internet, now we're aware of who they are. You know? Well, and they've been able to spread their adult versions. Right. There's only 10,000 people in the United States that are like that. Let's just put it that way. Ten thousand people in a country of 300, 300 million is not a problem. They're just fucking weirdos that we created almost like they could say I was part of early gen internet. They were encouraged. They were encouraged to do that.
Yeah. They before that, that was totally not acceptable. Like 2001, that was not acceptable behavior. Nobody would have even said like, yeah, you can pretend to be an animal. Like no, all this. Well, we're not going to get into that, but nobody would have said it was OK to want a fucking animated character. Let's put it that way. Right. Like it's OK. It's I don't have a problem with them. They're not a danger to society. I don't want them to be like wiped off the map or anything.
I'm cool with them existing. It's just that it's fucking weird. I mean, it's a it's a weird subculture. It's a weird thing. I don't really have a problem. If all they want to do is fuck the my little ponies, I don't really have a problem with it. Where I have a problem with it is when we and we talked about it last episode when the one little girl was dying and wanted to be made into a pony. Right. And so they made her a pony just for her.
And Hasbro came out and was asking the bronies to not sexualize this pony because it was representative of this little girl dying of cancer. And they went ahead and did that anyway. That's you know, I don't know. It's not personal. It's business. That's the way I look at it. You open the door. I mean, I understand that. But you have to have. Yeah. But professionals have standards. That's all I'm saying. Well, I have standards. I feel like I do not do bronies justice.
It was it was literally an Internet meme that just snowballed. Now we have people that want to fuck ponies, but not real ponies only. Well, it might have. No. Yeah. But it might have also originated from some some one person that wanted to fuck the my little ponies. Had to. Oh, Mike. Had to. Here's here's. Well, like you're not going to make that average person isn't going to make that up. Right. Like, oh, hey, I think Jimmy over there, I think he wants to fuck the my little ponies.
And then all Jimmy would have to say is like, oh, bro, you watch My Little Pony, isn't that for girls? And that's like end of discussion back then. You know what I mean? So it had to be some person that wanted to fuck pony for My Little Pony. Are there women bronies like women that want to fuck or be fucked by or whatever the my little part is that there are ladies who date bronies. There are ladies who are bronies like the nerd girls that we all love and appreciate.
I love and appreciate nerd girls. They're wonderful. There are nerd girls who date these cosplay, they cosplay as ponies, cosplay as the pony. They get gang banged at these bronies parties because they're the only pony at the party. Yeah, they're like nerd whores. You know, the nerd whore. We go to the convention and we're going to play Dune Imperium. There's only one girl that wants to play Dune Imperium. And there's two guys at the party of 10 that have wives.
The other 10 guys are like, oh, I want pussy. And they say, oh, I love Dune Imperium. I'm going to play Dune Imperium. And then the other 10 guys chase her. Same girls do the brony shit. They get into it just like the guys do. Very few. Very rare. But that wasn't my initial question. My initial question was, are there women who want to be fucked or fucked the My Little Pony ponies or do they just want to be fucked by the bronies? Dude. I only focus on men I can shit on. I don't know.
I am sure there's ladies. There's got to be. There's got to be ladies. That'd be interesting. I mean, look, we did a whole episode where we talked about lipstick lesbians versus the other stuff. Yeah, of course. There's got to be a woman. There's got to be at least one woman out there that's a fucking brony chick. There's one. There's probably... I mean, there would have to be. There has to be. A handful. I don't know. There are thousands, guys.
There are tens of thousands of men that want to fuck My Little Pony's. Like I am not... This is not a thousand people. There's tens of thousands of men that want to fuck My Little Pony's. It is a subculture. It's weird. And it was all started on 4chan as a fucking joke. As a fucking joke. Because it should have been a joke. It should have been a joke. And these kids, they took off. That's the way it is. Are you still there, Nate? Well, I'm still here.
And as we have said, especially with the last episode with the crazy fandoms, is there's a line between internet life and real life. And what was a joke online to somebody was real life to somebody else. Dude, I was there from the start of the burnies. With any fandom. It was a fucking joke. It was a fucking joke that took off. I understand that. It's insanity. I understand that. It's insanity. I feel partially responsible. I'm not telling you my username. You know what, Mike?
I blame you for all of, I blame you for all of Bronyism. I feel bad for it, man. Like really? Mike was the linchpin. Mike was the linchpin that spawned Brony's. One of the thousands of guys pushing this out. Tens of thousands of guys on 4chan pushing it out. You know, we had Ralphie Smoth, you know, Ralphie Smoth means, and part of our means was to push people to throw down on Bronyism and now it's apparently a fucking thing. It's sad. That's so sad. It's pathetic.
Hey, I think that's a protected class now. That's a protected class now. You can't be shitting on them. I feel very comfortable shitting on Brony's because I was part of creating those Brony's. Like who wants to bang a fucking fake drawn horse and now there's people and there's sex toys. It's weird. You know what? You could make your own My Little Pony sex toys and sell them for $1,500 instead of $1,900. Dude, I'm against it. I'm against it. You can sell them as prefucked.
They've all been quality tested by Mike. My lovely wife just came and slammed the door on me. Apparently I didn't close it tight enough. Maybe she's the one female Brony. I don't think so. No, I'm just fucking with you. I don't think so either. Oh, well, listeners, my wife is the only female Brony and that's why she's angry at me. She didn't want to hear about anti-Brony technology, which was back in the day. We are here about Mike shitting on Brony's.
We want to fuck horses in a children's show and then weirdos said, oh yeah, we want to do that. It's fucking weird, dude. There's no history to say. It just took off. There's guys on the internet that want to fuck internet horses. They don't want to fuck horses. They don't want to fuck children. They want to fuck internet drawn images of horses. Like the guys who want to fuck anime characters.
They're the same people that want to fuck anime characters, but they're horses instead of anime characters. Is there really much difference? There's not. There's not. Not really. Not really. Anime characters, anime horses, they're pretty much the same shit, aren't they? Pretty similar. Yeah, I think so. But the early internet, we made fun of them. We pushed them into it. Now it's normal.
It's fucking gross how guys on the early internet, early 4chan, like that horrible shit we were doing now became society. It's awful. I regret it almost. I don't regret it because it's fucking dumb. Nobody should fall for that. Nobody should have ever fallen for it, but they did. It's stupid. Well, they did and it goes back to the whole thing. Is it like what's real nowadays? You and I know it's real, right?
Because you said you get involved in some of those YouTubers or the fandoms and stuff like that. Unfortunately, I am online. You're like, hey, I'm going to back out a little bit. You know when you got to back out when it's like fucking with your mind too much or whatever. I think that's the difference is not everybody knows when to kind of back out of it and say maybe I'm taking this a little too far when they're unboxing their $1,900 My Little Pony Fuck Doll. So I don't know.
I mean, I don't have any hatred or animosity towards these people, these bronies. If they want to spend the money to fuck fake pony dolls, that's cool. Otherwise they'd have what? They'd have just a regular sex doll. I don't really see the difference, I guess. I mean, yeah, it's fucking weird. I don't know if they have like an Oscar the Grouch sex doll that you can buy from Sesame Street, right? Like if you think about other kids shows that people might want to fuck things from.
I mean, it's weird that you take things from a kids show when there's other shows that have other animals that might lend themselves to being fucked more than a pony from My Little Pony. But I don't know because I'm not really into that. You're not wrong. They would do, people who are into that would do anything else. It would be something else. Well, I mean, they'd have some other outlet, right? Yeah, they'd have something else. It wouldn't be. Don't hate on these people individually.
They would be into some other weird internet shit. The broniesm is an outlet for them to have. They'd be into like some anime character or some other outlet. They're not predators. They're not dangerous to your children. I guess more now I'm older now. They're not dangerous to society. So long as your child doesn't dress up like a My Little Pony for home. No, no, no, no, they're not into that. They're not into that. I will defend them. They're not into that weird shit.
They're just weirdos that don't have social context. So if it wasn't broniesm, it would be they'd be into Vampire Hunter D. You know what I mean, or they'd be into some other anime. I don't know the names of all the animes for everybody's reference. I know Vampire Hunter D. I know other anime names. I don't want to even throw them out. I'm thinking old like back in 2001. It'd be like some other anime like Gingham. They'd be in the Gingham. They'd be in the Pokemon.
They'd be into they would sexualize. The point is they'd be into something. They'd be into something. They'd sexualize it because they don't have direct contact with human females. They're usually pretty smart guys. They're not dumb. They have skills. They have most of these guys have careers and shit. It's just that they don't have the interpersonal communication skills to like me. They don't want to date the women that are around them. I'm not a fucking brony. I don't know what they're doing.
They should be wanting to get with actual women. I don't understand why they don't get with women. What's up, Nate? Mike, check this. This is going to be it's not really a hot take because it's not like super offensive or anything, but let's just sit here for a minute and I'm going to play a little devil's advocate here. Yeah. Solely for your purpose. I'm trying to defend the bronies even though I attacked and created bronies. To an extent, I'm not personally responsible for bronies.
Mike is personally responsible for bronies. Yeah, I'm personally responsible for bronies. I take all of it. You know who's responsible for bronies? Who? Obama. Thanks, Obama. Thanks, Obama. Anyway, let's look at it this way, Mike. On the dating scene, let's just say the dating scene. If you're on the dating scene as a single man, what are the qualities of the women that generally you interact with on the dating scene? When I was single, what did I look for? What did I get?
I mean, hopefully not now. Hopefully not now. When I was on the dating scene, they were a lot of bad teeth and they wanted free meals and they wanted all this stuff and they had a whole list of expectations for men. What did I look for or what I was seeing? No, what did you see? Mostly. I saw ladies on the oil field. A lot of really supportive women. Not a lot of them. Not a lot of them. I dated a lady that was 42 years old who had relationships. I'm a bad choice. I'm a bad choice. In this city.
Listen, that's not the point. In this city, they have all the freedom of city living. They have plenty of options in the city. They just have to put themselves out and get the nerd ladies. There are no nerd ladies where I live. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not talking about the bronies right now. I'm just talking about men in general dating women. Women have higher standards generally than men when it comes to dating. Oh. Oh. So what would I do to get a lady?
And the women that are on the dating scene aren't necessarily full on... No. I'm saying what types of women did you encounter when you were trying to date women? I'm trying to make a point and you're going a little further with it. You're like leaving ahead. When I directly encountered women that I dated... When you went out on dates with women, were they super supportive of men? Yeah, they always were. Or did they have crazy expectations? They were college educated. They were smart.
They were clean. They had good attitudes. I was very selective with the women that I dated. I lived in a very... I'm talking about the women. Yeah, the women. The women that I dated, I lived in a very narrow dating environment. I can't give you that because I lived in a very selective environment. My ex-girlfriend was a college educated woman who was a science teacher. So I can't give that to you, Nate. But I... Okay. Give what to me? I'm just trying to say like... I lived in a weird world.
I didn't live in Minneapolis. I lived in the Bakken. When neither did I when I was dating. When I was living in the Bakken, my dating pool in the Bakken as a college educated man was limited to college educated women. The ladies who were not college educated did not want to talk to me. They knew. They talked to me. They saw my profile or whatever. I was not in their range. So I only really went on one date in like six fucking years outside of before moving out there. It was like one lady.
That was it. That was it. Nobody else wanted to be around me because I was college educated and had things going on. Okay. That'll do. Yeah. Yep. So now let's look at this a different way. What is the primary message of My Little Pony? You want to fuck the princess that is a pony. No, no, not the bronies interpretation of the message. I'm talking about the message for the kids. The message for the kids of My Little Pony, because I had to watch at least two movies of My Little Pony.
One had unicorns and Pegasus and earth ponies and whatever the fuck. The message is always as friendship and inclusion and friendship and being supportive of different people and blah, blah, blah.
So I'm trying to make the point of if you're a man on the dating scene and you're not getting the supportive whatever from women and you watch My Little Pony, even if it's a joke at first and you're getting these messages of these ponies are saying that they love you and they're all inclusive and whatever. It could be potentially easy to confuse that with romantic interest or to project romantic intentions upon those messages if you're a lonely man or a lonely person.
It doesn't necessarily have to be a man, but men are hornier by and large than anyone else on the planet. So what have you? I'm just trying to say that if you're not getting inclusion from the dating scene or you're not getting acceptance from the dating scene, you're not getting friendly people on the dating scene. A lot of angry people are on the dating scene because a lot of them are jaded because a lot of people are jaded just in life.
It makes sense to me that you could take a My Little Pony and kind of become infatuated with the idea of something or someone who wants to just be your friend and be there for you and whatever. And then you can project other feelings onto that later. Like it's an easy step. I feel, I don't know. I'm not really trying to defend them. I'm just trying to give a different point. You know, if these people feel like they're not- How is it that you became pro-boned? You're pro-brony.
How did that happen? Maybe I'm pro-brony because you're so anti-brony. You're so angry about your sex dolls. I am fucking totally anti-brony. I hate those cocksuckers. But anyway, sorry guys. I've never, you know what? But the whole thing is like I've never met one. So it doesn't even matter. I'm just saying, I'm just trying to play devil's advocate here. I think it's weird that you want to fuck a pony.
Not you personally, Mike, or you personally, the listener, but it's weird that people want to fuck these ponies. I'm just trying to say that with the positive messages of the show, from what I've gathered, it wouldn't be that far of a stretch to, I mean, how many stories are there of men mistaking women being nice to them because it's their job, because they're a waitress or something or a bartender being nice to them as a romantic advance?
So it wouldn't be a big stretch for men to assume that a pony trying to be their friend on a show then wants to bang them. And especially if you have a group of people trying to encourage that and say, yeah, dude, you should totally go for it with that pony and spend $1,900 on a pony sex doll so you can actually fuck it. It's not that big of a stretch in the terms of why it happened or stuff like that. I mean, it's positive messaging reaching lonely horny people, I guess.
You're part of the problem. I'm not saying it's normal. You're part of the problem. I'm not saying it's normal. This hornyism should be nipped in the bud. It was a joke. It was a fucking joke. It turned into a lifestyle. That's I'm against it. I'm against it. I'm against it. I can't. I can't have a bite. I heard you, man. But like you said, like we said earlier, they're going to find something else to fuck. You know what I mean? So I'm for whether it's my little pony or for life.
I'm for channel for life. Listeners, every time you hear an edited cutout bullshit, this because I'm for Shan. Like I'm against it. I'm against it. That's all I have to say. I don't agree. They these fucking guys, they never evolve. They didn't. They didn't accommodate reality. They didn't accommodate reality. We live in reality. Or did reality not accommodate them? Mike, fuck off, bro. Like that's a fucking they didn't accommodate reality. You know, like I want to. How's your cigar?
My cigar is still still lives, but it's very short. Mine is so short. I put it out. What did you think of the cigar bike? The knuckle buster? That was pretty good. I thought it was pretty good. I liked it. Yeah, it was good. It was spicy at start. It mellowed out a little bit throughout, but it was tasty. I like it. It's better than many brand name cigars. I have to say it's good. Yes. Do they have other knuckle busters, Mike? We're going to do some more. Nice. All right.
You got anything else on the bronies other than you wish they weren't bronies? Don't be a brony. Be a man that does things in real life. I don't know what to tell you. Be a man in the real world. In the real world, bronies don't live in the real world. That's a big mistake. They don't live in the real world. They want a pony girlfriend that's fucking weird. I'm against it. I know what it is. I feel bad because I'm part of it. I feel bad because I'm part of it. I feel bad.
Nobody should be a brony. If you have $19,000 sitting around and you're thinking about buying a My Little Pony fuck doll, you could throw a kick ass party and make a bunch of friends. You know what I mean? You could improve your life. You could develop a cocaine habit. In a real way. Or improve your life. Pay no attention to the cocaine habit I mentioned. Somebody wants to fuck. Not like a hot girl. Just a girl. Just a girl. A girl is better than- Or a man. Whatever you're into fucking.
It doesn't matter. Whoever you want. I'm putting my own expectations on you. I apologize. I think the important thing is a My Little Pony obsession or the bronyism is you're not getting the interpersonal connection that you would with any other human being because you're projecting all that stuff onto an animated pony. I tell you right now, my wife would not fuck me if I was into ponies or whatever. It would not happen. She might dress up as one. You don't know. No, that is a lie. She would not.
That is a lie. Direct lie. To all the bony's listening, my wife would not dress up as a pony. My wife would dress up as my wife. As a woman. As a human person. Not for a convention. Not for a convention. No convention would ever convince her. She would dress up as a human person every single time. I go to many events and she, lovely, to my wife is beautiful and wonderful. She goes to many events, never as a pony, always as a person, every single time, never as a pony. This is what it is.
All the My Little Pony conventions you go to, she always dresses as a woman. Every time. Every time I go to talk to these My Little Pony fucks as a 4chan overlord, she dresses up as a woman. Every time. Somehow, magically. You guys know I have a ponytail and we still manage to be man and woman. Wait, a My Little Ponytail? My Little Ponytail. Every time. There you go. There you go.
So, the takeaways might cause bronyism, don't be a brony, and the Punch Knuckle Buster Maduro is a pretty solid cigar. Be safe, have fun. Thanks for listening. Be safe, have fun. We hungry like we do.