Ep. 1: Jeselnik meets Tony Romo

we did it. We did it the best we could. And I think the note that came back was I did not laugh. Yeah, that that was one. No laughter. I laughed, I heard some I could. I heard some good feedback, but from the NFL no laughter. Another quote was I hated it. That was one. So that the project, the project was a little dead on arrival for a little a little bit, but we got it back now an audio form and we're gonna try to do this every week. We're like audio form. You know, they said that.

I think a lot of people the NFL just thought I wasn't good looking enough to really carry a TV show. Uh So, Yeah, now we're here on radio, and I've got a great I've got a great voice, I've got great tones coming out of me. Why yeah, why would they want you on their airwaves? I I think, I think, uh, you know, we've got the title the Vanity Project, but now you're already messing it up right off the bat, like it's the Rosenthal and Justly Nick Vanity project. We

have to stick to it. What did I say? You said the Vanity Project. Well, that's like shortening it. But it's like shortening it the wrong WAYF you called it the Rosenthal and Justly Nick, that would make sense to me. Well, either way, it's it's kind of the way the the NFL, I guess is looking at it from my perspective, you know, from my thing. I I if you're not familiar with me, if you're a fan of Anthony, I'm a writer at

NFL dot Com, NFL Media. I've been here for three or four years, which if you are going to be a writer, it's like the it's like the top level you can be as far as you know, it's like NFL network. Uh kind of editor slash writer. And then right below that, I would say novelist, you know, but you're you're killing it, killing it after I I did what eight or nine years before that, Pro Football Talk NBC Sports dot Com. You, of course, you're a famous comedian.

You've had your own show, The Jessel Knick Offensive on Comedy Central. You were just the host of Last Comics Standing. Don't bring that up over a gun on NBC. Why not bring that up? You did a great job. I did a great job. I was just unhappy with the final product, you know what I mean. It's like if we did this, if we did this at the end, they were like, oh, hey, great job, guys, but we edited out all the jokes and put it on the air with your name on it. That's what Last Comic

Standing was. Well, that that is pretty much what's gonna happen here. That's I feel like the subtext of the entire show is that you're gonna try to get me fired, that you're we're going to talk about subjects and it's gonna get edited out, and then you're gonna end up getting angry or booted off doing this in the first day. Oh yeah, I have bitten every single hand it's ever fed me. Even if you're not even trying to feed me. You know, if I just see a hand, I try

to bite it. Um, it happens to me a lot in the bathroom. They didn't even want this title, by the way. No, they fought us in the title. They said the title was kind of too cocky, The Vanity Project. And you're like, have you ever seen Anthony Justin do anything? Yeah, they were saying it was too negative, like this is like the nicest thing that anyone's ever said about you,

The Vanity Project. Well, let's really let's talk about why we have the show, Greg, because I mean, they know who we are, they know who you are than who we are, but they don't know why we have a show together. Like, why would I ever want to do this? Why would I ever take time out of my schedule to be a part of something like this. Why don't you explain? Well, it's yeah, it's a bad career move, but you're doing it because we're friends. Going back to college,

were best friends. We're best friends. Controversial decision at my wedding, Um, you know, well we'll get into that some other time, but we are we are best friends and we have been since uh freshman year of college at two Lane. Um. We we met. We we were in the same fraternity at two Lane. We both moved out here together in Los Angeles when we graduated from college. We also spent the summer out here before that. You know, we've kind of lived out here at the same time. We've lived

in New York at the same time. And this is our chance to do something cool together, something creative. This is your chance to do something cool period. You wanted to do it. I wanted to do it. I wanted to do it. I wanted to do something like when I don't when I'm on podcast, you know, I never have to care that much because I'm a guest. Usually I can just get that read East and ellis one yes. But now that I'm doing this with you, I'm gonna put in just as much effort, Like this will be

no different. So I kind of like just watching you scorm. I'm not squirming. I mean I I look at it as a chance of two friends. You get a chance. How many chances in life are you gonna get to do something with your friend that that could be cool, creative and that people alike. Well, the NFL network as any say, probably zero, probably no chances. So let's let's get to some We're gonna talk football on this show. We're gonna talk full comedy, football, comedy, friendship, entertainment. Yeah,

we're gonna talk about our friendship. How about children, what's going on in life? Yeah, you're the godfather uh to my daughter and and my son. Don't forget about him. Well, you boys have to remind you, you know, well you decided to choose him. Um, you know I had asked you to be my god uh father to my daughter a long time ago, and then you you said it would be unfair to come over and not give my

son Walker presence as well. Exactly I spoiled like your daughter just turned four years old, and tell him what I gave her for for for fourth birthday? What did you give her? Now? I remember I gave her. I gave her sapphire studded hair Oh my gosh, sapphire studded hairclips, which she responded to with I already have a hairclip. And then I gave her a diamond necklace which your

wife will not let her wear. Well, you went, you went to the Emmy Sweets gift and sweets before and you wouldn't have gone out and bought her hundred dollar you know, hundreds of dollars worth of diamonds. It would have been like a smash and grab type of thing. We're just gone into a case and just gone buck

while until I came out with stuff. But you happened to the birthday party was on the same day that you went to this Emmy gift being sweet and then just bam, I just went to places and I was like, give me something for a four year old girl, and I like that. We don't really do that. We actually give these to celebrities so they can wear them, and I said, give it to him, and you thought you were being a hero, but ultimately I just put them away. I was like, this, these are not you know, appropriate

gifts for four year old. She's just gonna eat them or throw them away. But I'll give it back to her, you know, when she's eighteen or something. Yeah, you guys acted like I gave her naked pictures of myself. So what have you been up to lately? Anthony? You it's been a big week for you. Your Netflix special came out. Thoughts and Prayers just came out on Friday. It's been very well received. Article in the New York Times today,

I was gonna bring that up. I mean, this is that that has to be the first article ever written about you in the New York Times, I think, I mean, you've been probably mentioned before, but this was basically a think piece about you. Yeah. It was about like how how political correctness isn't ruining my comedy. It helps it, you know, because I kind of go against that, and every way it was. It was a great article. Was an honor to have and mentioned. And I just finished

a tour. I was on tour with Oddball Festival UH for the last eight weeks, and actually I had a great I had a football running on Sunday I finished that. We finished the tour in Dallas, Dallas, Texas, and I got to meet Tony Romo. Tony Romo, Yes, I got to be perfect. I got to meet Tony Romo. And I'll say this before I tell the story. I like Tony Romo as much as I can like a cowboy. Does that make sense? Like I'm a Steelers guy. You

know that. I don't really like other players. I don't play fantasy because I don't have to root for anyone else. But I like Tony Romo. He seems a good guy kind I have Red Sox fans felt about Derek Jeter for the most part, They're like, well, you know, yeah, they respect the way he plays the game. You know, he seems like a cool guy. If he played on my team, I'd be like, oh, he's my favorite, but he's not. Um. So, I get to the show and

they're like, Oh, Tony Romo is gonna be here. Tony Romo, I guess was in the movie train Wreck with Amy Schumer, which I saw, but I don't remember him in it, but I guess he's in it. I didn't see Tony Romo and that he I think he must have done a quick cameo or something. Was he in that scene with my r of Albert the worst scene in any movie ever? I love that. I love that scene. You're wrong about that. It's a great movie and that's the

one of the worst scenes. Marv's one of the best act one of the unknown um acting talents of this century. Marv Albert, Well, you know what, I agree to disagree, all right. So I get them like Tony rom was gonna be there, and I'm like, Okay, I'm not that excited, but I'm like all right, whatever. That just means like more celebrities backstage, so I'm kind of wondering. I'm trying to avoid them. And in my in my dressing room, I have like a rider where I have alcohol in

the there's a bottle of tequila, bottle of vodka. Tonight, I'm drinking vodka. At the end of the tour, I've got I have pulled myself a drinking. I'm wandering around and the tour manager comes up to me and he's got a little concerned. As I goes, Anthony, we might have to get you another bottle of vodka. I say, why, what does that mean? Because I mean, this is my bottle. It's in my contract, like something bad has happened if it's not there anymore. I like that it's in your contract.

Oh yeah, everyone has. Everyone's gotta ride or something. Backstage. Mine is mostly full of booze, maybe a pizza, some turkey sandwiches, And they say the the vodka has gone. Tony Romo took your vodka. Wow. Now you know, I'm not a violent person, but I get angry pretty quick. And I immediately become furious because I imagined Tony Romo walking into my dressing room, a room with my name on the door, walking and taking my bottle of vodka and leaving, and I'm furious. I'm like, where is he?

Show him to me right now. He might have seen you ahead of time and been like, this guy thinks he's the best looking guy here. He sees you as a threat. I mean, I'm sure he sees me, but I think he probably just saw me walking around was like, that looks tasty. I want it what that guy's having. You know, a lot of people look at me and they think, what's he doing? How can I copy it? But I'm ticked him, like where is he? And they go, no, no, no, Tony didn't take it. They say Amy gave it to him.

He said, could you have any vodka? She's like, does Amy Schumer? And in Amy's defense, I had just told her that earlier in the day, I threw up in a Starbucks. That's how hungover I was. Threw up in a Starbucks at three in the afternoon. So I don't need that vodka. But it's still mine, you know. So I'm a little annoyed. I'm a little bit I'm gonna let it go. I'm gonna let it go, but I'm still kind of ticked about Tony Romo drinking my vodka.

He's having fun backstage. All of the crew they are all Seahawks fans and they're furious they just lost that game and they hate Tony Romo and they're like, antone, keep with we took your vodka, and I do you mean to get him out of the backstage? You mean to clear him out? So right before I go on stage, they walk up and then like Tony, you gotta you gotta get out of He's like looking at them like,

I'm Tony Romo. Don't they go It's for performers, and they just like, with as much disrespect as they can push him with this add He's still kind of smiling, and I'm about to walk out. The crew says Anthony, will be really funny if at the end of your set you say the cowboys all right, and this is fifteen thousand people in Dallas on a Sunday night. I go out and I kill I have a great set. At the end, I'm like and then the crowd's going crazy for me. And so my final night of the tour.

So Lizabeon, thank you so much, Dallas, the cowboys, and I turned and and the crowd just immediately goes from cheering to booze, like thunderbous booze. And I turned to walk around. I go to hand the mike to what I think is gonna be Jeff Ross. Jeff Ross has been hosting the tour, and said, Tony Romo walks out and takes the mic from me like he's going to introduce Amy, and he's kind of smiling, but he's also like, I heard full of what you said. So I just go, oh,

I know you. You're the who took my vodka. And then I handed the mic in front of fifteen thou people, and I thought about dropping the mic on the ground. That would have been amazing. It would have been amazing, but also been not been as classy as just yelling the cowboys. And so that's what I think of when I think of you, when I think of this entire story, I come out with it that class. Yeah, you can

picture me wearing a tuxedo as I tell it. But then I walked backstage and the entire crew was looking at me like they just saw a ghosts like we can't. We were joking, we said yeah, the Cowboys to all of these people. But I am a hero now to that entire crew. And in Tony Romo's defense, afterward, he came up to me, we talked. He was very nice, he was very complimentary. But when he went out on stage, he takes the mic and he's like, Hey, every in

the place is going nuts. They love Tony Rome. When he goes, I don't know who that guy was, but I think he said some some pretty inexcusable things about the Cowboys, and the crowd is kind of like, what like an excuse? Okay, He's like, how about we never invite him back to Dallas ever again? Huh? And I'm just sitting backstage, like, right, Tony, you're gonna ban me. I don't think so. Tony Romo has that kind of power. He really does. They use a god in uh in Dallas.

They loved him, so he loved him. You're not really missing much and not going back to Dallas. I like Dallas. That that that story made me think a couple of things. First of all, Tony Romo he should be a hero to Seahawks fans for what he did dropping the extra point in the two thousand seven Playoffs. Great moment for Seattle. Jeff Ross was Tony. Jeff Ross was gonna bring him out and roast him before he introduced Amy, and everyone was so excited than Tony was like, no, don't roast me.

But when after he introduced Amy, Ross came out and he goes, oh, sorry, guys, Tony Romo just fell and got injured himself backstage again crazy. I also want to know, like, what what led to the Starbucks Starbucks puking? I mean, like had described that moment in terms of the different low moments of your life. Where where does that rank. I've seen you puke in some like ugly places, so I guess maybe it doesn't rank that high. No, it's

pretty empair. I mean the fact that it was like four in the afternoon and I just eatn like oatmeal and a cup of coffee. That was tough. But whenever I go to Austin, Austin, Texas, what does it to me. I'm not a bit I'm not like a crazy drinker. But I enjoy my too. I enjoy hurting myself in certain ways. But yeah, Austin two nights in Austin, Texas, I will be throwing up in a in a coffee

house the next day. But I did make it to a bathroom, which is everyone's first question, because if you throw up in a bathroom Starbucks, it's way better than throwing up in the middle of a Starbucks. Yeah, that's like one of the cleanest places you could be a Starbucks night and day. Let's uh, let's go through some headlines, shall we? Should we go through the stories of the day,

don't you don't. I don't know if we can top that story each show would be nice if like, yeah, this is a show about sports and comedy, you know what I mean? If I could tell another professional athlete themselves every week, that's pretty amazing about it. Um, But why don't we go through some of the headline You go through the headlines, I'll jump in if I feel like it. If not, I've got my phones. I can

just kind of scroll through some things. Cameron Heyward been in the news this week, my boys, steel You're of course a big Steelers fan, big Steeler fan. I loved Ironhood. I loved his dad because he played for pitt Yeah, and he played for the Saints. We of course they're kind of closet Saints fans. At least, I am a little bit adopted. Yeah, they're mind like my second favorite team. Ah. He got in trouble this week, of course, fined by the NFL for wearing his eye black the iron Head

on it, you know, honoring his father. It's express cancer month, but he just wanted to honor his father who he lost, and he did it for a second straight week, even after or uh he was fined. Um, it turns out the NFL and him worked out some sort of agreement. I don't know if they reduced the fines or who knows. Maybe they agreed to donate something to a certain charity they have. They've dropped, dropped the issue. What happen? The NFL is in the right here. I mean, I understand

why they're doing it. I understand. I mean I think that the best way you can honor your father is by writing his nickname on your face for a little, for a couple of hours a week. You know, that's you can't really mess with that. I think it would be funny if he got like the iron Head eye black just tattooed on his face, and then what would they do? Yeah, they couldn't do anything about it. Or they might just go back and say edited for content. Ah, did I go too far? That joke's not gonna make it.

That's not gonna make it. They're just gonna cut that. Maybe not I was thinking of. I was thinking of, like when I initially saw you were in the New York Times today, I was thinking of immediately emailing that too. Um the particular Shadowy League figure that said he didn't laugh at our show, that he hated our show the first time, And I was gonna be like, just let us have the title that we want. They have. This

guy has an article in the New York Times. But then I was looking and in the third paragraph of the article, it basically mentions all the different types of joke that you had, and it said something like molestation. Uh, cancer was one of them. What else did they have? Pretty much all the greatest hits, all the bad ones. They could add breast cancer. That would be good to add the um the other headline this week, I don't know how to get out of that. Donuts, Donuts, Donut Time,

what they called the donut Party. The Minnesota Vikings have a donut club which they get together every Saturday morning, very early in the morning in the morning, well at seven fifty in the morning, the Minnesota Vikings have an unveiling of the donuts, but you can't touch them for the first ten minutes, which seems ridiculously childish. I don't

think so. I think that was like the part that made sense to me was that they make everybody like when I heard When I first heard about the story, I first I thought, like, people are gonna get mad at them, you know, like if this this is the Vike, but it was the Steelers. Because I just heard Donut Party, I'm like, are you telling me the entire team wakes up like three hours before they have to on a Saturday morning, eats as many donuts as they can. Because

that's what it sounded like. That's not that's not great athletic behavior. Well not only that, but Jared Allen, who was featured in the piece of Former Viking, had the right idea that one of the they had many rules of donut club, and including don't talk about donut club, but that's been blown out of the water with this article. One of them was you have to show up on time. There's no one shows up late. But Jared Allen got around it. By he would pay for the donuts. Every week.

It's strolling an hour and a half or two hours later when they actually had to be there. He seemed like he knew what he was talking about. I mean they're talking, they're acting like donuts are some sort of contraband, like the like the toughest thing that you could smuggle in that you have to take a look at it for ten minutes. And it's only three dozen donuts. It's not that many. I mean, I don't know what donuts cost, but it can't be it can't be that much. Yeah,

but it does sound like a bad idea. It's not healthy. If they were like getting together eating kale or like protein shakes Saturday morning, I can put your J. J. Watt like knocking down three dozen donuts. They had shirts, I know, so they get together every Saturday morning. They all have the donuts. It's a special team bonding thing. One thing I thought immediately was like, they're not doing this.

The Miami Dolphins aren't doing this, you know, the New York Giants aren't doing this because there's something to do in New York or Miami, Like this would only happen in in with multimillionaire athletes living in Minnesota. Well only once voting season is over, that's smoot. When I first heard about this, I thought it sounded like fraternity hazing, you know what I mean? It sounds like like the what do they call it, the Cracker game, which we don't have to go define, but I think people will

know what the Cracker game is. Um. It sounded like a gross what the Cracker game is. And we were in a fraternity, but we never had to using with the Cracker game, have to do something like that, I I find do you find like I don't usually volunteer the information that I was in a fraternity. I'm embarrassed by it. We weren't very fraternity games, like we we like we pledged as freshman and went through all the hell of like hazing, and then once we got in,

we were like, this is stupid. Why did we do all this? And we never really showed up much after that. We weren't really good fraternity members now, and they didn't Two lanes different because it's just kind of like you go out into bar. You know, you can go to bars when you're eighteen. No one's really living in the fraternity house. In particular, like three or four people are, but not that the whole fraternity. It's just kind of like a a party thing. But even then I'm embarrassed.

And then the one we were in was the most lazy, like young fraternity ever. Yeah. I just remember having to do a lot of push ups. Remember once having to like hang from a statue in the middle of Audubon Park and put a giant bra on like Lady Justice while you guys all ran laps around the fountain. What you remember. This was like four in the morning. It was a rough that was it was hell weak. I don't remember anything. And then for the most part I remember.

I remember the crab oil was used. That was kind of scarring. I didn't have to mess with that because I was I was pretty. I was so lazy and I had to mess that. I got to leave early every day to go work my job cold calling high school students. That's what I did, but that was not good at One thing that you know, listeners would definitely not know about me, but you know about me is that I have the worst memory of anyone I've ever known. And one reason why I like to keep you around,

other than you know your celebrity. And uh, the exorbitant gifts that you give to my kids are that you remember things about my past, my college experience, you know, time in New York, really anything to do with the last ten years. When you can tell me about it, it's like hearing in the story for the first time. It's like awakenings. Yeah, I once reminded you about your wedding? What about it? Just did it happen now? And I also, I mean, I think I get deserve more credit than that.

I think that I think I'm responsible for your entire sports wedding career. How do you figure? Okay, you want me to break it down. Okay, we lived in l A together. What were you doing when you first got to l A. I was actually holding the job that you could have had, or should have had initially were slated to have. I was an assistant at a movie action company, UM Hallway Pictures that had a deal with Warner Brothers. We just kind of geared towards making African American, uh,

you know style movies. Information you should have been like, I was an assistance. I like the details. Cut everything Greg said and just put in you weren't assistant, Greg and so I and I told you. I was like, you should be a sports writer, Greg, reach of your dreams, start a blog online and start writing sports stories every day. And you did that. And then I bought you a Peter gammon'sobble head doll, which I think was the inspiration for you to really take that next step and leave

Los Angeles and become a professional sports writer. And now here we are, well, you know, your whole bit is you know sarcasm, right, So I'm not even sure if you really did tell me to start writing in a sports blog that actually sounds told you to do that,

because I did do that. Yeah, I started writing a baseball blog while I was in Los Angeles, and then I got really tired of doing various assistant jobs and I was a page at NBC and other stuff and got sick of it and then left l A. I could, I could say that your entire career is at least partially that I'm responsible for it. How did how did you make ends meet? When we were out here? I gave you like every job that you ever got, and you got fired from half of them. I had a job.

I had a job at NBC Productions, and I was kind of an assistant to a producer there as well, and she would have you know, jobs and shows. I think you worked as an accounting clerk at American Dreams. I believe was I got you that job? You got fired from that? No, I got laid off the end

of the season. I didn't get fired. And then the woman had re hired me on Deadwood, and then she rehired me on the unit when I stabbed turned the back ms literally it literally, stabbing her in the back would have been more pleasant than what I actually did to her. Well, now I want to know what you did there. Not to get too far off topic, because that story about the the email my accent, we'll tell another episode. We'll see if the NFL lets us keep going.

Maybe during the playoffs, I'll tell that story. Well, part of my whole pitch was like, this is gonna be really real. You know what I mean? This is these are two friends, um that have us friends best friends, that have a genuine relationship that's actually written to the contract that I have to say that each time Anthony insists.

And I think one thing that you've got to think about, Anthony, is if that's how it is, how real you're really comfortable getting you know what I mean, Listen, I don't think about things, Greg, I know about them because your whole bit on stage, I mean, it's not a bit if you used to if you use the word stick right now, I'm leaving. Whose my mind cut that? Please? Uh? You know you I wouldn't you know? What would you?

How it would people describe you on stage? It's kind of woudn't say it's a character, but it's an amped up version of yourself in real life. You're a You're a pretty nice guy. I'm much nicer than I am on stage. I would just go on stage, I'm like, I'm like Darth Vader had and the Devil had a baby, you know what I mean, that sort of thing. But off stage, I'm just like, slightly slightly, I'm I'm pretty much only nice to you and your immediate family. But

that's enough. Can you're really nice to us? Yeah? You used to be nice to some members of your family, maybe maybe less less of now your brother. I guess i'd throw that. That's what I'm trying to get in in here, is that you know, if we're gonna do this, you know you have to be comfortable, they're getting really real. I'm I'm happy to get real. I just feel like the sole responsibility of being real is on me. I feel like you couldn't be real, you know, on the

real world. That's how unreal you are, that's how fake you are as a person, and that if the responsibility of being real is on me, then I get to dole out how we do it. I'm not going to tell all of my stories. It's not okay what you just said right now. We're best friends, you know what I mean, That's what happens. So I guess we can each claim responsibility for each other's career. Were an one, you know what I mean. I looked at you and I was like, how do I not end up like that?

I mean, what what can I do? I was living my dream pretty early. I got a job at Rhoda World and was was loving it pretty early. I went to a lot of give me a break. I went to a lot of your lousy um early stand up sets.

You were great from the beginning, and I and I thought you were going to do big things right away because I saw all the no talent hacks that were around you that I was forced in anyone that lives in Los Angeles inevitably has some sort of stand up friend or something where they have to go to a

lot of these shows. And it's the most painful thing ever because I would, I mean, it was a regular part of my life to go to you know, these stand up shows where it was you one or two pretty funny people and like seven people where you could not be less comfortable watching them perform. I felt bad if you, guys, you would have to come to that because they called bringer shows. We have to like bring five friends to watch you. So not only that, I

am I making guys watch these hold people. You're seeing me do the exact same jokes at every single night that was. I do owe you a debt for that. Except were you with the first show I ever did? I don't think so you weren't. I don't know. Did I have an option ie with the every once in a while, like to just kind of give you something that lets you know you don't have me all the way? You know, I just want to, you know, keeps you wanting more. Fred Jackson this week, do you know a

team he's on? Now? Back the headlines? Why not? Let's do it? I mean, we'll keep talking. Uh Fred Jackson this week? Do you know what team he's on now? He's on the Seattle Seaks. I don't want to test you. You're a pretty big NFL fan. Just for people listening to this, Anthony's not one of these um people you see on television that says they're a fan just to kind of like that that's going to get them in

with the male demo or something. I mean, you're a pretty hardcore sports fan watching Sports Center every night that I'm not really worried about my placement in the mid demo. I think I got it. I got it nailed out. Uh. But but you know, I am a fan. I'm a diehard Steelers, but I followed the rest of the league. You know, I know what's up. Um, Fred Jackson got into a big car crash. Fred Jackson has been one

of my favorite players. I wouldn't even say a big car crash when he hit a street sign, but it was played up like it was a big story initially on TMZ and that proved to be, uh, factually wrong. We never had any of that on NFL Network. But he but he did get into an accident. Um initially it was said that Marshawn Lynch was there and they

were drag racing. He was not drag racing. He just showed up afterwards, uh, and was seeing you know, it was on his way out of the out of work, and he was seeing that his teammate was all right. He was all right, there's no charges, there's no nothing. Seahawks Backfield's gonna be fine. Um. But did you when you heard that they were drag racings? Did you believe it? Because I believed because it was on TMZ. But it's

still but TMZ they get things right sometimes. Like it's like those guys have such nice cars, like Marshawn Lynch has a Lamborghini in his driveway that uh, I met a guy on this tour who he says he's from

Seattle and he's the same driver as Marshawn Lynch. This guy picks up Marshaw on every like whenever Marshawn needs to arrive for something, whether they're going to games or going going on the road whatever, he says, he pulls into Marshawn's drive when it's a really small driveway, big house, small driveway, and he's got a Lamborghini, a brand new Lamborghini in the front, sitting there, and whenever the guy pulls in to pick up Marshawn, Marshawn comes out, puts

his luggage in the guy's car, and then so the guy can turn around in the driveway, he walks up, picks up the front of the Lamborghini with his hands, lifts it up like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Twins turning off a car alarm, and then moves it over a few inches so the guy can back up and move around. Superhero, Could you imagine lifting up your car every time someone

had to turn around your driveway? Like amazing. It sounds like a car I want, But it doesn't sound like a guy who would race his team might have to practice, Like, Hey, I'll race you to that street sign. Whoever hits it first wins. I could see those idiots doing that, Fred Jackson, it's not an idiot. Maybe Lynch, I don't know. They both seemed crazy. Um, What's what else do we want

to talk about? How about how about NFL network? Um really kick started a story this week and I was there when it happened, at least when it got on air. And you know this whole hubbub happened that I don't know if you saw this, that that briefly the NFL network UM showed some nudity during the show last Sunday for an interview where Albert Brier was interviewing Adam Pacman

Jones formerly Pacman Jones in the Bengals locker room. But in the background there was a bunch of Bengals guys and you know, they briefly showed some nudity and uh, you know, the players or the the analysts afterwards cracked up a little bit about it. You know, it was

clearly embarrassed. It was never shown again. The NFL network eventually apologized about it, but it's become a real story because the Bengals complained, you know, one of their players that was pictured nude UM was really upset and offended by in the NFL. LPA president Eric Winston, who's also on the Bengals UH says this is an issue for them. It's been an issue for a while that they don't that that that nudity having to be naked in front of players is like is a problem, which totally makes

sense to me. Said, and what other workplace are we gonna have to be do you have to be naked

in front of it? It's not about being guy girl sports writers there anything like what other things like we need to have more time and there is a ten minute cooling off period where they get to change and everything, but it's not enough time because you've got to play, you know, the coach is given a big speech and you've gotta shower and all that, and that they want to come up with the situation so that this never happens and that they never have to have you know,

their wang in front of America again, or any of the sports writers. I feel like this is like a really passive aggressive way for you to tell me to put close on right now. I feel like the reason we do a podcast so I can wear whatever I want and this is how uncomfortable. Um, but yeah, I think there's a lot of ways that the NFL can deal with this. One of course, bathing suits for every player you wanted all times. Another thing is body paints,

body paint, ritual body paints. That would be good. You can see them naked, but you don't really know what's going on. That feels like it would be more time consuming, you know, like who would be putting on the bat the body paint like before the game, Heyward Hayward would paint them up, put put his put his dad's initials all over the players bodies spram down. Um no, I think that would be. That would be very like Zaki wearing a bikini or was he naked? You don't know,

it's body paints. Um, I believe the King. I always I always thought the body paint thing was a little I don't know. It's like people that got really excited about the sports Illustrated some body paint issue, Like I get it, but it's like there's porn everywhere. Plus they look even better in just the bathing it's still like airbrush like I would like, wouldn't you that the bathing suit like that? That's great? That was great. I mean at a certain pointed because Greg wasn't funny. Is any

of this gonna be on the show eventually? Brandon? Are we just talking to ourselves at this point? I don't see why any of it will get cut. Okay, none of it seems too much. Well, we'll see what happens. Alright. It's not my favorite, so one of our things if it works. You know, one thing you know, just speaking to the listeners, and please give us feedback, give me feedback, give Greg. Yeah, Anthony, I'm not going to check your feedback. I don't need to know. You're very un social media

friendly or just unfriendly in general. Yeah, I kind of ignore if you if you if you like, if you take the compliments, you also have to take the insults. And I don't care about there that criticism. You know. I I perform publicly, like live, so the audience tells me what I need to know. I don't need some I don't need some fourteen year old in Iowa tweeting at me that he didn't like my last joke, whether he doesn't think this podcast is funny enough or that

that you should be replaced. You know. I don't want I don't want to be reading things like that. But you can, you can. You can tweet Greg and I love it. That was one thing, you know, and that Anthony came up with in the NFL, and NFL was considering that have someone play for this podcast, like just have a guy that was like, hey, it's Anthony's longtime friend, but with more personality, maybe like five or six inches taller, you know, ability to roll with the punches, come up

with some jokes a little better. Who are they going to get for that? I don't know, Fred Savage, I get a lot on Twitter speaking of which, really I know Fred. I worked for Fred once. Really Yeah, he directed the Garflonus episode I was on. Edited to keep Greg's job, just truined to take that out. Um. What I was trying to get to was, you know, I want this is an evolving show. The title could change, right.

It was Originally it was gonna be, uh, the Anthony, Greg and Anthony Show, because Anthony insisted that his name be first and last. Um. Eventually that got overruled. Uh, the network didn't really like it was gonna be the Greg and Anthony Vanity Project. But they didn't really like that. They wanted Jesselnik to be in there because they think just America is going to iTunes and randomly searching. Not just America. I think it's international now, So we went

with that. So that could change. And what what I'm trying to get to is it's a pretty free flowing podcast, clearly, Um, but we might you know, want to come up with some weekly segments. Sure we could do that. And if you guys have things you want to know, you want to hear us talk about, you want to ask us questions, feel free to uh, feel free to do that and Greg will take a look at him. So I did throughout some questions this week. Uh, it was a little

or asked for some questions on Twitter. It was a little last minute. What's least minute? Greg, Well, we've been planning this for quite some time. What what time do you send out the things we have? And we were on the phone last night, for instance, for a while when you said last minute, do you mean like a couple of days ago when I send out like you know, we were sending out emails. Frankly, I've done more preparation for this than just about anything else. Um, a couple

hours before before the show didn't get great. It didn't get a ton of response, It didn't get great responses. Uh. How many followers do you have on Twitter? I've got over a hundred for sure. Uh, yeah, over one fifteen or so, over a thousand. There you go, look at that, A breaking digits just from our friendship. That's great. Please, now it's gonna really explode. I don't I wish I

could follow you on Twitter my best friend, but I can't. Yeah, it was a little disappointed with you and some of your you know, high Acdane and celebrity friends once followed me, but then they got sick of my They've got sick of my football analysis. I get it. Yeah, you don't want to hear about good analysis Buccaneers offensive line or whatever. So please send us, send us more questions next time. Tell us tell us what you think of the show. Um, but I do got a couple of them, so uh

edited for content, Let's go to uh Eric. The last name was a little confused Laren Laryen tebby Laren to be would you trust leaving your daughter or god daughter? Um? I added that, uh, you know, in your case with Ben Roethlisberger as a babysitter, will you go first? You go first? Okay, I'm happy that I'm happy to leading this first of all, since it's a god daughter's situation. Nice and I love, I adore your god daughter. But I would leave her with just about anybody. I don't

think I'm really legally responsible for what would happen. So, and I think that Ben has turned what I call the Jesus corner. You know, when like players getting so much trouble, they just start saying Jesus in every interview they give, and then it like means they're forgiven and it's okay after that. Ben's in super Jesus territory right now. He makes uh he makes some name. Yeah, he makes

Russell Wilson look like the guy from the Exorcist. Uh So, I'm I would trust Ben with just about anybody edited to keep your interest. Sure, would you be afraid that he would throw your daughter for three fifty yards? Because that would be pretty wan a pretty big screw up baby. Sitting wise, who was the player in the NFL that you would most trust your daughter with? Oh? Wow, that's a great question, because I feel like Tom Brady. I immediately thought of just because you know, you know, wouldn't

he wouldn't feed her, She'd starved to death. What do you what does that even mean? He's a weird he's a weirdo. He eats. Wouldn't give her, he wouldn't give her soda. But that's good. You don't want her having soda. I give her soda a chance. I got she's grown, girl's very against it. Um who else is? Look at the very responsible. What about Peyton Manning. No, he's from New Orleans. No, you don't want I mean, I love I like the Mannings. They're from New Orleans and all that,

But just I I feel like he hasn't. I don't think he's he's the one carrying the fathering load in that family? Does he even he does have that? Have you ever seen Peyton Manning's wife? No, does anyone know that she's I mean she she's out there. I thought he was married to that lady who owns Papa John's. It's really stretched face right back, that one. You should stay on the mic and just laugh the whole time. But it's gonna be great, Uh, great for the show.

So uh, Anthony, you had this idea of how we would end each show every week. You wanted to make some predictions, and but I'll let you because here's what I wanted. I wanted to do, Like Greg and I are gonna talk. You're gonna hear are you know us talking? It's fun to hear friends discuss things, a lot of

them football related. But at the end, I want to have the kind of a heart out and be able to kind of do predictions for what I think is going to happen the next week, and it's gonna be kind of like a comedy bit where we're gonna try it and if it doesn't work, like if if it works, you're gonna hear us do the bit. If not, as soon as I'm done talking right now, there's gonna be a cut and then you're gonna hear us say, well, that didn't work, and that will be the end of

the show. And either way, I think the comedy value is is sky high. And you came up when we first you know, we're talking about doing this show back in the summer. I mean you came up with all sorts of crazy ideas, clearly not sober when you came up and came up with them at all. Last night though, we were just talking that this was a sober idea, and uh, and I'm pretty excited for it. I'm really not. I'm worried. I'm worried about it. You should be a

little worried, and I was not so. But we talked and then I got less sober and I came up with this idea. But here's the idea. It's it's predictions. Greg is gonna give me the matchups. I'm not gonna tell you who's gonna win. I'm just gonna tell you whether or not I believe the matchup is going to end up being crunk or funky funky fresh. And if you don't know the difference, I don't really have time to explain. It's not that long a podcast. But I

will tell you which one I believe will be. In the next week, maybe we'll go back and see if I was right. But what is even the difference? You're gonna have to find out. But what I told you when I told them got my wife this idea that she did start dying of laughter. Well, I think because you're married or she doesn't get a lot of humor in her marriage, so that whenever I can kind of step in and uh, you know, take the brunt, she does.

She is a big jes like fans I want. It took me the time to when you're it's taken a little bit. You you she warmed up and when you over. Okay, let let's go through. Okay, through are some some of the big games of the week. Uh, let's really start on on the Sunday games. Depending on when people are listening to this, um New Orleans at Indie Annapolis, New Orleans at Indie in Indianapolis, I'm gonna have to say,

that's gonna be That's gonna be funky, funky fresh. If it was in New Orleans, I would have gone crunk, you know. I feel like New Orleans is a great crunk field advantage. But if they're gonna be an indie Indie coming off that embarrassing loss to the Pats, I think it's gonna be a funky, funky fresh game for sure, and you can take that to the bank. The Jets at the Patriots this weekend. Jets at Patriots, this is gonna I wish you would save this till the end,

but I'm gonna have to go crunky, crunky fresh. Uh. It's kind of a mixture of the two. Again, if it had been in New York, I would have said funky, funky fresh. Going to Foxboro, You're gonna get a little crunk in there. You can't not, you know what I mean. It's kind of just the fox Bow mentality. I think the Patriots have a lot to prove in terms of how how fresh they are, but not so much how funky. Though. I think they've kind of proved their funkiness. So I'm

gonna say crunky, crunky fresh. I like how you describe whether it would be different if it was in New York but in New England, because that's when you think New England in foxbur you think crunk. M No, you know I messed it up. I've ruined the whole thing. No, I think it's still going pretty well. Dallas at New York Dallas. I mean, that's a big game in the NFC Dallas that you New York Tony Robbo won't be back for this. You know your buddy still he's still

drinking my vodka somewhere. Uh, let's see Cowboys in New York. I'm gonna have to go crunk. That's it. That's it's you know, it's it's a coin flip. To be honest. I could have said funky, funky fresh and been confident, But I'm gonna say crunk. Why would you not be honest? I'm I'm being almost too honest. Maybe if I lied, then we wouldn't be wouldn't be going through these questions. Philadelphia at Carolina, good Sunday night game this week. That's

a great Sunday Night game. Uh, you know what I'm gonna say. The first top is gonna be krunk. The first half is gonna be crunk as hell if I could, if I'm allowed to talk like that on the on the show. Second half a little less crunk, a little more funky funky fresh. And then the fourth quarter if you're if you're like allergic to funky funky fresh, turn the TV off and throw it out the window because

you're gonna die. So I reminded you wanted to go through sixty games of this and I'm kind of cutting it off. Last one Monday Night Football, the Baltimore Ravens. Uh. I thought they were gonna be a good team, so that's why they're in prime time one in five. But going to my favorite team other than the Patriots this year, the team of the Around the NFL podcast there at the Arizona Cardinals. The Arizona Cardinals are coming off that lost to the Steelers, which was a beautiful game. Baltimore

needs this one, so I'm gonna have to say. I'm gonna say across the board funky funky fresh on this one, and I mean, no one else is gonna agree with me. I know when the NFL network people are gonna that's the saying that you would go funky funky Freshman, that it's the most obvious crunk thing of the week. You have Arians and the Kangle Hat, you have Carson Palmer, you have Tyrone Matthew, you have pet Patrick Peterson, you have the whole desert thing. And if that doesn't scream chrunk,

what screams cronk Anthony? Other games? Give me the give me the next sixth team. That's it. That's over. There's no way that's making it in is it? That's definitely making it. And that was great improvisational gold. You know, we brought back funky funky fresh I feel, and you know what, let's let's leave it in and the next week if I was wrong about any of these, we can go back and cut it out. Now here's the question, though, what describes it being wrong? Do we have a classification

for that? It'll be well, it'll be let's not be up to Brandon. I was just excited for the game that you didn't throw in there. Based on Anthony's love of location, going Bills Jaguars in London. Oh okay, well, all right, and then you helped the show for the first time. There was Great Jaguars in London, Bill's Jaguars in London, six thirty in the morning. You have to wake up and listen and watch it only on Yahoo

being streamed internationally, first time ever where you were. That is even be the first NFL game that no one watches. Chronker funky funky fresh. This is a great chance for me to break up my accent. It's gonna be krunk, mate, is he would you like a little funky funky fresh love? That's the worst thing. That's why they don't have you play characters on TV shows. It's just you know, if you if you're out of show, you're just playing Anthony Jesslinik. Yeah,

I know, of course I only played comedians. Is that Crocodile Dundee two? Like? What's that? That was? That was? That was the Queen of England? That was the Queen? All right, Bill's Jags Funky funky fresh, funky funky funky fresh fresh. Um, well, who knows, maybe no one even heard the rest of that segment. You said that there's a chance that we would cut it all out, but let's be honest. Once you do three or four minutes on anything. You're gonna fall in love with it. We

would never cut anything. I think this is the best part I would I would edit this to make at the beginning of the podcast this is the end. Then how would you close it? We do need to close it. Do you have it? Do you have any um any partying words? Because this this really could be the first and last UM time we ever do this. It's very possible. Um, why don't you end on like a real note? Tell me how are how are my godchildren? And how how is your daughter and your son? Well? Um Walker has been fast