What’s Winning: Personal Or Professional Life? (2109)

overwhelming and it compounds and it's a whole freaking thing .

Then there's other people who are unbelievably well-developed internally vulnerability , courage , humility , great in their intimate relationship , but they're not successful in the professional realm and you need both .

What's winning , personal or professional life ? Had to go to the DMV yesterday . The Department of Motor Vehicles had to renew the old license . Get the new license so I can travel , whatever , whatever . Shout out to my wonderful wife , taryn , set it all up , got the . She said , made the appointments for us . She's the fucking best .

But I had to wrap my day up at like 3 30 to go because that was the latest appointment I think they had because they only worked till 5 . Shout out to them and we walk in and there's a line out the fucking door again . Shout out to taryn for scheduling us on appointments , appreciate that . So we get to go up and it was a lot quicker .

It only took probably 45 minutes . All things considered . That's really good . But I had a moment where it was like I never would have done that unless taryn planned it . I know myself as humbly as humanly possible . I wouldn't have done it . I wouldn't have done it , I would have waited .

Have done it , I would have waited and I would have put it off and I would have waited . We have four weddings in August . I have to get my suit pants tailored it's on my list .

But that's one of the reasons I thought this would be a really good episode is because the rest of the time it hasn't been that bad I just rsvp'd uh , regretfully , to a wedding that I would have loved to go to , but I said I had to prioritize the business . I understand . I understand these are non-negotiations .

These , I mean one of the best man in , so you can't really .

You think it'd make just like wash out somewhere . I gotta call them . I'm not going back if I gotta pay 400 bucks , so I gotta call to see if that's taken care of . Until that's done , I'm not making a fucking appointment and there are certain things that just keep getting pushed off .

If I , if I sent you a picture of the office right now , oh my god picture I saw on social was so nice yeah that was eight months ago . That was a long time ago . That was a long time ago . I had to dig back in my yeah , that was not today , oh , okay I didn't know that .

I am struggling so bad right now with juggling personal and professional , because the professional just matters more in terms of the specific results I am aspiring to , and it's just fucking brutal . It's just brutal , so I figured it would be cool to do an episode on it , because that this is what we want , this is what I aspire to .

My fucking light just blew out for some reason , so I'm gonna have to fix that at some point

throw that on the list . It's a minor . It's a minor light . We aspire health , wealth and love , aspire to it . But personal and professional is a little bit different because it crosses over in different ways . And yeah , yeah , I thought it would make for an interesting episode .

Personal , 20 to 25 professional , probably professional , yeah , 25 to 30 professional , 30 to 35 , 30 to 35 professional , and then , you know , 35 to 40 is obviously going to be super professional , but the personal is stacking faster . That's the thing is like now . The professional is stacking super quick .

There's so much going on great , super , super grateful , privileged , awesome , love it but now the personal thing is stacking faster than it ever has to , because there's other stuff that you can only go so long without washing the towels yeah , of course you can only go so long without , whatever the thing is , or going grocery shopping , whatever , yeah , that there's

so many of those .

We have a project list for the entire summer and there's a lot on it . I don't believe it . I have one property . So many projects , too much . Emilia wanted to do real estate . In the past she was a real estate agent . She wanted to buy Airbnb . No , nope , and we talked about it . I didn't say no , that sounded wrong . We talked about it .

It's like you know what ? Maybe not ? Let's build our three businesses and let's stick with that . And here's my point . I think there's this weird thing where people want results without the responsibility . I have two cats and a dog . People always , and some some parents , do this .

They complain about their kids and it's like why are you complaining about your children ? You wanted children . What did you think ? It was going to be easy .

You want to buy a house Okay , there's a mortgage . There's projects . You have to take care of it .

You ever see one of those houses that's been completely engulfed , like jumanji , because that that house isn't going to be worth anything I'm excited because one day I'll be able to go scoop that thing up , say , hey , I'll take this off your hands yeah , and then you're gonna have to jumanji that fucking .

I actually think there's a huge disconnect Challenge for everyone out there watching or listening From now on , just for a week , maybe a couple days , when you meet someone personal or professional , on just for a week , maybe a couple days , when you meet someone personal or professional , you crossed the chasm .

Recently , most people I remember I had a mentor and he met kev and I remember him behind the scenes was like why , kev ? And of course , dude , honestly , with all love , like of course he's gonna say that right , look , if you're listening right now .

No , the truth is , in the professional sense , kev didn't have a lot going for him . You didn't have a resume . You don't have a college degree . You don't have a master's degree . You don't have a resume . You don't have a college degree . You don't have a master's degree . You don't cover letter , linkedin . You don't even have a fucking LinkedIn .

I'm not trying to be a dick , but you weren't going to win in the professional realm outside of certain things , and that's okay . Like I just wish people think I'm such a fucking asshole and it's like listen , I'm not . I actually care enough to tell you . I care enough to tell you you need a resume , you need a cover letter , you need a LinkedIn .

You need to ask someone how to build a resume and a cover letter . There's courses you can take . Like you have to be a professional in this world If you want to have a great career .

You have to go to career development , and I remember I went to career development in my college and they taught me how to build a resume and I went to career fairs Like I didn't just results , don't just , oh , I just got another job . This is awesome . That doesn't . It's not how it works .

So , at the end of the day , I've always been very professional and career oriented , so I'm on the very high end of that and so , yes , I'm a little preachy when it comes to that , like your future . I said this to a couple we were just coaching . I said , listen , you guys want to retire one day and not have to work .

You're still going to work , they've said that , but you want to not have to work . I said let me teach you how to do it . You build wealth now and eventually you accumulate enough wealth where the interest from your investments pays you a salary , and that salary I crunched the numbers .

If you can accumulate $3 million in investments , which is doable I can show you the math it's totally doable , especially in the US . You can . 8% year over year is $240,000 . You can just siphon that right off the snowball and now you never have to work again .

That's not that hard to do if , if you're focused on your career and investing and you earn more , spend less and invest the difference . There are a lot of wealthy people out there that aren't actually that much more capable than you . They just did something you didn't . And last piece , I'll share this . I said how long have you guys ?

Because they opened up the Relationship Talks coaching session . We help people achieve their dreams in their relationship and , by the way , married couples , it's way easier together . It's exponentially easier when you have a partner that you're certain about . It's unbelievable . What I can achieve with Emilia has blown my mind compared to what I could do alone .

It's been really cool , but anyways . So the male in the relationship said alan , teach me about money . I want to like how do we build wealth ? I was like I thought you'd never fucking ask . It's so exciting . And we went through the whole thing and I said how old are you ? How long have you guys ?

Because they they see people on instagram and facebook and they see their friends vacations and boats and all this stuff . I said two things . Number one , a lot of those people are in debt and their future self is paying for that stuff .

And number two , a lot of it is generational wealth Genuinely their families , inheritance , generational wealth , businesses , investments , properties like generational wealth's a big thing and you can research that . I said this . I said how long has it been since you ? You guys have really really had your shit together in finance .

And the female said when we bought the house . I said well , how long you had the house ? She said 14 months . I said okay , so about a year . She said yeah . He said for me , I got out of debt completely like five or six years ago . Five , he said five years ago I was 24 . He's 29 now . I said okay , so you guys are only six .

Your financial age is six . You're like a little toddler running around . You guys , you haven't built wealth yet . You're only six . That's okay . See , in their mind they're 29 and 28 . Yeah , that's a good way to look at it . Nice , Thank you you nearly said the same thing .

But I know someone else who their father created an investment account when they were born for their college and she invested 20% of her income from when she was 14 , and he put in money every month until she was in her mid-20s and now she's going to be a multimillionaire . She's 14 now and when she's 30 , she'll be a millionaire in financial age .

So their financial age , combined financial age , is only 6 . That's what people don't realize is most people don't even have their finances even remotely buttoned up until 30 . And I think that that's to bring this back to the professional versus personal . Personal life is about quality of life . Personal life is about your intimate relationship .

Personal life is about what shoes you wear and what clothing you wear and where you go to eat food and where you vacation , and that is one facet of life , but that cannot be the majority . If you want to be successful , you better be focused on your professional career . We are professional podcasters . I'm a coach , a trainer and a speaker .

I'm a CEO of a future of a company that has grossed more than a million dollars .

I need to lead with that if I want to be successful , that I have skills and I don't want to see people I adore suffer any longer out of the ignorance of thinking that the professional side doesn't matter , because it matters just as much , if not more , than the personal side .

So I don't know if I think it had to happen in the way it had to happen . I do I'm not .

And again , all things considered , I was I'm not , I was fucked , I was in a lot of trouble , but I did work really , really hard and I was super consistent with my like . I worked night shifts cleaning a hospital like working at a hospital , cleaning bathrooms and floors and cleaning beds after people passed away .

When I was 20 I don't even know if I was 20 yet 19 , 19 to 20 in the 19 to 21 span . I was doing that when all my friends were away , either at college or coming back from college , getting like trying to get their real jobs . That was something that I had I had been doing , so I don't I .

I would probably say you've got to put a filter on fun , because if you max out the fun meter now again , I always use the video game analogy Like when you're building a character , you can give them super strength or they can be super fast or whatever If you put all of your eggs into the fun basket , you're going to get to a place where those eggs are

going to be dead and there's nothing else to put in the fun basket and you're not going to be able to replenish it . That's kind of my thought , I . But outside of that I did work hard and I did think I was going to be . I thought eventually I'd get to a place where I was successful if I just kept working my way up .

I was convinced I then I was like this is a really interesting conversation , because I do think , yeah , I think , I figured something out , not this level , no god , no , no , I probably would have stayed at that . I either would have stayed at that job or I would have fucking killed myself . One of the two , look , all right , it's my story .

I know I had suicidal ideations .

I'm like , don't fucking laugh , dude , like you're gonna fuck this whole thing up don't laugh because you're you're about to smirk I know I can see it coming on . I know it was . It was very serious . I can't imagine . I cannot imagine leaving that job . I can't imagine ever going back . I was thinking of this recently .

I remember my ex-girlfriend at the time went to Whole Foods no Wegmans and I was paying for groceries at the time and I remember we checked out it was like $650 for groceries and I was like , yeah , checked out , it was like 650 bucks for groceries . And I was like , yeah , whatever cool , here's , here's the card , run it .

And I didn't even , I did not have to think twice at all about it . Yeah , I'm excited now again . Will I ever actually get to that place again ? No , because my awareness is high enough to realize , like well , that 650 could be 580 if you exchange some of the name brand shit for the off brand shit .

But I was just thinking of that and how I just it felt so good to have so much certainty , even though most of it was just ignorance , not certainty . Now I have so much certainty , but it's hyper awareness , you know you .

And , yeah , corporation conscientiousness , professional structured discipline , metrics , habits , career orientation , goal orientation that's a very certain type of person and here's what I really hope for everybody out there watching or listening . If you're on the personal side and that comes naturally great , you've got to work on the professional side , got to .

And if you're on the professional side , like I was , I had to work on the internal stuff . I had to really work on myself . I had to get to know myself . I already understood how the world worked and that kind of stuff .

And again , not fully obviously , but if you had to pick one personal or professional , I was way more professionally developed than I was personally developed . You were way more personally developed than you were professionally developed .

In the 21st century you have to be ambidextrous , you have to be , you have to be personally developed to win in the real world with your real husband or wife , whoever it is , with your kids , with your family , with your family's family , with your friends , your colleagues , like real world . You have to be personally developed , but you better have a career too .

You got to . You got to be professionally developed too . There are two sides of the same coin if you want to be fulfilled and successful and holistic and wholesome . So again , at the end of the day , I think it's a great conversation and I think all of us can be if you're righty , work on your left .

Maybe your right will always be stronger , but you can still dribble with your left and vice versa . If you're lefty , work on your right and it'll open up a whole new world for you . For sure , definitely .

Well , I'm talking more like how do you get , how do I get all the stuff that has to get done in the business and professional realm and then also the stuff that has to get done the personal realm again . Well , we can do a different episode at some point .

We won't dive into it because I know we're running along , but but that's where this whole thing came from . It's like dude , I'm crushing everything here , but my personal to-do list is piling up . It's like when the when the hell am I gonna do that ? When am I gonna do that ? Like I have to do the dishes . It's eight , it's 8 , 15 and again .

This is like a really good problem to have . Again , all things considered , there are far worse positions to be in . But the dishes are . I have a tower coming out of the sink right now . It is over the fucking . It's bad , gotta go do it . If I didn't have a wife , that shit would never get done and it would be really bad .

Like I would , I would be recycling plates . It's like that's was that ketchup or blood that looks like ketchup . Throw the taco on there , don't worry about that . So yeah , it's . There's just so much . There's just an influx .

When there's an influx of both , you're gonna go with the one that seems like it's the most important in the short run , and the other one's gonna stack up always , always , always . You're , you're on the beach with a margarita , your work emails , ting , ting , ting , they're stacking , they're stacking , you're doing your emails .

But there's something else , especially if you're a parent . I can can only imagine stacking up . So , yeah , I don't have an answer . This probably is one of those episodes that creates more problems than anything .

But I see you and I feel you and I support you and , uh , I understand to the degree I can understand if you're , if you're dealing with it right now , in real time .

That is what it is to have responsibilities . So let's get the fuck out of here . Let's get out of here .

We are striving forever and that means we're going through it with you . We have a private Facebook group called Next Level Nation . We'll have the link in the show notes below .

I have them over in the corner of my office where I would track habits . And now we do it all in Google Sheets and we have metrics and habits and all kinds of stuff . But it all started simply with I remember I did this exercise called the three column exercise . The first column was all my negative habits .

The second column was all my neutral habits and then the third column was all the habits that I wanted to build . And I remembered I would try to replace column A , one from column A , and put a new one in column B . So , for example , I quit drinking and I started weight training .

That's a perfect example that one habit of replacing drinking with weight training has changed my whole freaking life . Because what's the worst thing you can do for building muscle ? Drinking alcohol , one of the worst things . And so come join us , build winning habits that your future self will thank you for . The link to register will be in the show notes

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