The Truth About Being “All-In” (2003)

All in , I'm all for that .

And regardless of whether or not you and I are ever at the top of any industry , we're going to keep climbing to the highest that we can climb .

Based on a lot of different circumstances , a lot of different factors and , ultimately , what the goal is .

We have clients that we're working with who have a very , very , very high-level coach I'm going to keep it all anonymous just because but very , very famous in our industry , super successful coach Nice , and he sent them a video that they sent for me to watch as well , and he essentially said if you guys really want to start winning , you have to start taking

this way more seriously . I like it . You can't . You're dabbling too much for the results that you want and that , I think , is a really good redirection .

Yeah , but I think it would be really easy for me to say oh , you want to get more fit , you've got to go all in . You've got to make sure you're drinking a gallon of water a day . You've got to exercise an hour a day . You've got to do mobility in the morning . You've got to make sure you're getting your sleep . You better order an Oura ring .

You're probably going to get you some supplements . You probably want to be on some creatine stuff like that . Yeah , maybe that's all in , depending on what your goal is , but that's not where all in is for most people .

If you're talking to a group of business owners , that's a very different conversation than a group of business owners that all have , you know , six figure businesses . Very different than a group of business owners that all have million dollar per year . Businesses . Very different than 10 million , very different than 100 million , and we all know .

And again , kevin and I aren't parents yet , but we we've actually spoken to kids before and you have to speak . We we gave a speech once to a 11 year old , seven year old couple , other kids in the room and it was the hardest speech we've ever done to date , in my opinion , second hardest if you include that training that was really , really .

Conversation is all in number one . You're here to improve yourself and to improve your life . So anything that I share , the sincere effort , is in that direction .

Whether or not you like it or not , or like me or not , I want to table that and and just , we're trying to help you improve yourself in your life .

So you talk to a five-year-old different than a seven-year-old , different than a nine-year-old , different than a 15-year-old , different than a nine-year-old , different than a 15-year-old , and I think that when we become adults , I think we have this ego that wants us to believe that that stops . It's like , well , I'm 30 , so talk to me like I'm an adult .

Well , you're not . Just , kevin at 35 is infinitely different , exponentially different than Kevin at 25 , than Kevin at 15 . I have to talk to all three of those Kevins differently . And so , on the podcast , it's challenging , but all in is predicated on the size of your goals and it's a spectrum zero to 10 .

So if you have a level 10 goal in terms of difficulty , right . So if you play a video game on easy or normal or legendary , when you play it on legendary legendary you have to be more all in , you have to put more time and effort . I remember playing again back in the halo days legendary was really hard and I started there .

Everyone's like starting on easy and normal . I just wanted to play on legendary but I couldn't get past certain spots . I kept dying and eventually that paid off long term because I ended up much better than other people once we were able to connect online .

But I realize now what I didn't realize back then in the early days is that if you want to achieve level 10 difficulty goals , you will have to be level 10 , all in . If you want to achieve level 7 difficulty goals , you will have to be level 7 , all in . If you want to achieve level seven difficulty goals , you will have to be level seven , all in .

And I think it's it's a spectrum and some people don't . I have one client I'm thinking of . She isn't really that all in and she owns it . She's like yeah , I like doing a bunch of different things .

She does judo , she does politics , she's running for city council , she's blah , blah , blah and she isn't that all in and I had to have a conversation with her and say I just want you to know I've learned a lot in this coaching . I'm really grateful to have coached you . It's been an honor . I know you've learned a lot too . We've had great discussions .

But I can't really help you achieve goals that are at level 10 because you're not willing to go all in at level 10 . And you've told me that like it's not a negative thing , you just are like I don't ,

you're not all in . I had to call her out for that and and call her out probably sounds wrong , but it was kind of like listen , you're not gonna win . She has some people that she listens to in our industry that are very successful . I'm talking , you know , billionaire level and I said , well , you learn from that person .

Do you want to be like that person ? Because for me , I often in the past would learn from people that I wanted to aspire to that level , whatever it was . So in Halo I had my certain people that I was trying to get to In this industry .

You know the Tony Robbins and that kind of thing and again , I had my certain people that I was trying to get to In this industry , you know the Tony Robbins and that kind of thing . And again , I'm not really doing that anymore .

But the point is in fitness , it was Greg Plitt and all that I always had something to point to that would at least put me in the right direction of the goals I was trying to achieve . And those goals required level 10 dedication . So you can replace all in with dedication . And what does dedication mean ?

It means you're willing to sacrifice more than other people for this thing , whatever it might be .

And this person I basically said are you okay with and please don't take this wrong , because I don't mean it in the way that it would come off but like , are you okay with and please don't take this wrong because I don't mean it in the way that it would come off but are you okay with being a dabbler ?

Some people they go from thing to thing and they like variety and they like to do a bunch of different stuff . Like Kev , you don't do that much stuff . You're not trying to win at that many things , you're trying to win at a couple things and I think that that is very conducive to what we're trying to accomplish .

And if you wanted to snowboard on the side and like also fight on the side and rap on the side , and , you know , have a car channel , and , and , and , and , and , like dude , I would have to say Kev , eventually maybe , but even then you're going to have to dial some of that in .

You can't like play tennis and golf and play softball on the weekends , and and , and , and , and like . That's not a math , that's not a thing in achievement . If you look at the top achievers of the world , you can study this .

They all have one , two , maybe three things that they're extraordinarily good at , and they don't usually do a whole lot of else , and if they do it , it's over a decade . So one decade in bodybuilding , one decade in podcasting , one decade in it's in decades . They're not dabblers , right ? Serena Williams played tennis , and pretty much that was it .

That was 90% of her life , but that's also what it takes to be Serena Williams . But you might not want to be Serena Williams . If you want to achieve what she's achieved , you're going to have to have level 10 . All in this , though .

So you can't really . That's why . That's really why you can't have 10 , because the last three unless you say , okay , cool , I'm going to work 10 hours a day and I'm going to dedicate an hour to each thing , it's like , well , that's not .

It's really good for getting a lot of stuff , moving the needles a little bit on a lot of stuff , but you're most likely not going to make meaningful progress .

I mean , there was football . I had one person was a three sport athlete , let me think football , track and then baseball . Yeah , yeah , three sport athlete , but when you go to college , no fucking chance especially not a d1 college

. A lot of people are three sport athletes in high school and then in college they not , because when you compete at that level , it requires more dedication , more all-in , more all-in , on one sport , and then when you play as a professional I mean how many people in the world play at the professional level multiple sports ?

You're most , you're more likely to build the one building . Yeah , you could do the 10 , but they're going to be much smaller , much less results . You're probably going to have a higher likelihood of quitting when you're like I literally have built the basement of these 10 places . This is terrible . We're not even off the ground yet . What are we doing here ?

Versus ? Well , I've been focused on this one house all year . It's my one thing and now I just have to put the roof on . I think those are just very , very different . Now here's where it gets wonky for me . Say like yeah , honestly , I'm not putting in that much effort . So I completely understand why I'm not getting any greater results .

It's like okay , are you all in to the degree you want to be ? Yeah , I am Cool . So you're all in to the degree that you want to be and you understand why you're getting the results that you're getting and you're not dissatisfied . Nope , completely okay . Completely content , okay , I don't have an argument for that .

Then you're , then you're all into the degree that you want to be all in .

There's people who say the people who are the most successful the only time they're comfortable is when they're uncomfortable . They're uncomfortable being comfortable . I'm definitely in that category for sure . It's comfort is for me . It's just weird . It's like , hmm , everything's good , like I need to up the ante ASAP , rocky , this is fucking terrible .

I'm obviously being playful , but there is that part of me that can't settle , cannot for anything ever . I don't know what that is , I don't .

I do know now that not everyone has that same thing , and let me try to explain this too , because I a lot of times on this podcast we talk authentically about certain things that I can't say hey , I used to be super like , I used to be guilty of this all the time . I was super guilty of this one , like trying to be good at everything .

I was so guilty of that . I mean dude , snowboarding , basketball , video game , I mean I was spread too thin and I had a coach early on , named Alex , who said , dude , if you had to pick one , what would it be ? And I was like no , no , no , no , I'm doing them all . He's like I'm just hypothetical , hypothetical .

And now I say I have that same conversation with people and I said the podcast . And he said why ? I said , well , I don't need permission to speak . I get to practice my craft every day . Kevin and I have a good thing going . We get to impact people . People are having a big deal like there's there's big changes happening in their lives .

It's super fulfilling . Yeah , it's the podcast . He said here's the the irony , here's the paradox if you go all in on that one , you can have all the others . Author , all this other stuff . That's true , that's true in success . So what I wanted to ask you , kev , is do you have a part of you that can't settle either , or are you ? Yeah , talk to me .

It's a bad example because you're pretty all in but like you're not though not at the same level , I'm convinced bodybuilding is easier for you than it is for me . I was a tall lanky , you know I was just bones , skin and bones . But the point is , if you're out there watching or listening and you resonate with me , like you cannot settle .

I had great , a great relationship in my mid twenties with a wonderful person . I couldn't marry her . I couldn't because I knew somehow that I wasn't supposed to like I can't . I knew that I'd be settling and I know that sounds bad , but it wasn't my person . With Emilia I'm 10 out of 10 certain I'm not settling .

It's like this is there's no chance that there's someone better for me than her . I know that . I don't know how the fuck , I know that , but I I know that in my soul and I'm old enough to have looked around , but the part of me that cannot settle is always there . It's a fire that's always lit 24-7 , 365 , it never goes out .

Sometimes it's with oil on it or whatever gas , sometimes it's a little candle no , it's never a little candle , but sometimes it's booming , like right now it's really lit and that's why I'm so intense on this episode . And other times it's okay , it's still there , but I haven't thrown any gasoline on it yet today , but it never goes out .

For me and for someone on your end , I don't think a lot of people admit what you're admitting , which is like I could totally settle . I just know it's not best for me . I think that's really powerful

.

I recorded it , I compiled it and it was alive for a while . I never did anything with it . Yours didn't . Yours never saw the light of day . I don't think I switched from fitness oh yeah , I mine never would have done that if I didn't like settle with what it was it was naturally fit for life . And what was ?

I've checked the box , it's no longer taking up space in my brain and I've moved on to the next thing , and eventually it'll start pinging me again and I'll say , ah shit , gotta do something with that what is that predicated on ?

There are certain people that would be thrilled to have our physiques , you know , but the reason we have our physiques is because we're not satisfied with them . I'll never forget this . When I was a fitness model , fitness competitor , fitness coach , everyone else thought I was in great shape and not everyone told me that that's not it .

But they're like wow , you really turned it around because I used to be tall and lanky . But I remember thinking , yeah , but the only reason I'm in great shape is because I don't think I am . I'm going for something higher . You're impressed with where I am now , but what I'm going for is far beyond where I am now .

Where everyone is now is a continuum on the way to a goal . So you and I business . What we've achieved right now a lot of people would be thrilled about . But the only reason we got to where we are now is because we're headed somewhere much higher . It's almost like a snapshot on Base Camp 3 when we're headed to Base Camp 15 .

And it's a mountain that gets higher as you climb it . So to me it's the perpetual dissatisfaction with current outcome , because the goal in life in my opinion , the goal of the goal we did that last time is to grow to your potential . But I know that that's not necessarily how everyone's wired .

So the idea of not reaching my potential , it's unthinkable , and I remember when I was living below my potential I was so miserable .

So for me , I think that's always the barometer and I wonder too , because if you don't have whatever that is , if this isn't resonating for anyone , maybe that client you have that said they're content and they're like we're not all in and we're cool with it and all that . I don't think I've ever really felt that way about anything .

I think there's a lot of , I think there's a lot of layers to it , but I've definitely I've done things where I'm not all in for sure .

The more people I've coached over the years , the more I've come to realize that quality of life matters to all of you a lot more than it does to me . For sure . My day-to-day quality of life doesn't have to be good . It is good , and I think that's a paradox , like it's better than it's ever been , but that isn't my focus .

Like I got that projector and that's great , I love it . It's 115 inches , it's . It's great , but it doesn't . That's not why I was doing this . That has nothing to do with why I was doing this . Like that's a little , a little extra gas on the fire , but it's not the main source of fuel for me .

And so my next level lesson is ask yourself like are you the type of person who wants to be like my client , who just wants to do city council and wants to be a dancer ? And she , she did the Tarzan musical and she choreographed the whole thing .

I mean , she's a badass in many regards , but she's never going to be the top of any industry , and that's okay with her , um , and regardless of whether or not you and I are ever at the top of any industry , we're going to keep climbing to the highest that we can climb . And I think that I don't know .

I think that that's very unique and I think that some percentage of the population will resonate with that , and I think some people won't . And I think the people who do resonate with that have no idea that that's only one way to play .

further that . I think it's because the results that people want are usually a byproduct of being all in Well , but I think it's because the results that people want are usually a byproduct of being all in Well , but I think it all starts with if you don't know what success is for you , then how do you know how all in you're supposed to be Right ?

We use that example of Brandon on the team . He should not have gone all in on the podcast , agreed . Not to the degree we have Agreed , maybe his own unique , all in Agreed .

Yeah , it would just be identified . This would be an identify success next level lesson for me , because if success to you is yachts and mansions and benzes and champagne and all that like you're gonna have to go more all in than somebody whose success is I want to make sure I can see my kids games .

Cool your level of all in is going to be completely different . And then it's all in on what you're all in on family , all in on fatherhood or motherhood , awesome , whatever , yeah . So identify what all in means and identify what category you want to put it in Choosing the wrong .

. As always , we love you , we appreciate you , grateful for each and every one of you .