#1602 - 1 New Awareness Can Change EVERYTHING

Asking for help is bad , heavy episode , but again , sometimes the episodes that are closest to the heart also are the ones that are the heaviest . Today , for episode number 1602 , one new awareness can change everything we had , so we're recording this .

On Friday , yesterday , thursday night , we had our 26th monthly meetup and it was three words you need to know to have a next level relationship .

One of the words was vulnerability , and there was a lot of conversation going on in the chat about how , for some people , one of the questions was I think it was on a scale of one to 10 , how vulnerable are you or have you been with your partner ? And some of the people in there put two , but going up Vulnerability is something that's very new to me .

Oh , interesting , okay , and Alan and I were talking . He said what did you learn from the event ? And I said I don't know if this is gonna make any sense at all . Could we do an episode on it ? Maybe , I don't know .

Going from not knowing something at all to never practicing it , to having almost no familiarity with it , to understanding that it exists and how it's affecting you , is more valuable than understanding something at a level nine and then understanding it at a level 10 . That's my thesis .

My thesis is being brought to complete awareness of something for the first time is more valuable than revealing more light on it , and that's kind of my thought and that's why it's appropriately named . One new awareness can change everything , because you can't get great at vulnerability until you realize vulnerability exists .

You can't experience something until you know it's possible to experience . I guess , in a way , go ahead , sir .

you know . It's a thing . I was talking to Kevin . He asked me what I thought the title of this episode should be , and it was something along the lines of one concept that can change your life , or one concept can change your life . No , it wasn't concept , it was distinction , distinction . And then I said concept . After that , I think .

But that's one thing I've been thinking a lot about lately , because I'll give you an example there's a concept called the flywheel . It's essentially the compound effect , and I'm not gonna , that's not what this episode's about , but if you've ever heard me talk about the compound , that's a book , but it's also a principle .

Yes , yeah , nobody has sold more copies of the compound effect than Alan Lazarus , the author included and the book is behind me , by the way , just in case anyone wanted to know that .

But it's a concept and what I think is really important about this episode in particular , it's not about vulnerability , it's not about the compound effect , it's not about the flywheel , it's about concepts . It's about how can you intentionally improve something if you don't understand the concept . And you and I

used to have a podcast called the Hyper Conscious Podcast . Change the way you think , change the way you act , change the way you live . In a nutshell , what we did in that podcast is talk about concepts constantly . Change the way you think . What does that even mean ?

It means change the way you think about the world , change the way you think about yourself , change the way you think about other people , change the way you think about you know . Communication , vulnerability , humility . I mean even at the event last night . The first word is humility . The second one is courage .

The third one is vulnerability and on the last episode , if you heard yesterday's episode , I would say I tried to demonstrate . I tried to demonstrate all three of those and it got a little intense , but courage I've talked about being my challenge . We opened the event with the humility . This is so ironic .

The first words humility , and Kevin and I opened the event saying I'm not even sure we know what it means . Yeah , and then we asked go ahead .

Can you intentionally improve your courage if you don't even really know what it is , what it looks like when you need it , when you don't need it ? Can you intentionally practice vulnerability if you don't know what it is ? I didn't know what vulnerability was until you brought that to my awareness .

Back in the hyperconscious days you and Taryn had listened to a or watched a documentary on Netflix with Brené .

I think it's on one of those Audible has great choice or something that is free . I could be wrong . I think I might have paid for it , but I think it's free now . Correct me if I'm wrong on that , but here's my point .

I didn't know what vulnerability was until my late 20s , but in hindsight I don't necessarily think I wasn't a vulnerable man and I've been contemplating that a lot lately . But what I do know for sure is that you cannot intentionally , proactively , consciously practice getting better at something

until you understand what it is . And we had a mentor one time that Kev had trouble with because it was all deeper understanding and no tactics and strategies . And Kevin's like I'm broke , how do I make more money ? And he's like don't worry about that .

Yeah , don't even worry about it , don't even worry about it , and what he was trying to say to Kev is what matters is you know , what is money ? What's your relationship with money ? Why does money matter ? And , again , we can philosophize all day , and Kevin and I luckily have each other , because he's more tactical , more strategic , more .

What do I do , though ?

And I'm much more philosophical , deeper understanding , and obviously we're both both , but at the end of the day , you do need both , and Concepts will change your world , and if there's a concept that you don't understand , you're not gonna practice it , you're not gonna get better and you're not gonna have the life of your dream , because when I say I have an 18

year old client and I'm teaching this 18 year old things that I wish I knew , what I'm really saying is I'm giving you concepts , mental frameworks , understandings that I never had .

Why there was no one around to teach me , even though I was curious , and if I had known what he knows now , I could have made different choices , and if I made different choices , my life would have been more , bigger , better and brighter , and that's the facts . If you make better choices , your life will probabilistically , statistically , get better .

That would happen pretty often , like oh , he had cancer and he passed away . It's like all right , I don't care whatever . When I found a message from my dad when I was 20 , when I found a message from my dad when I was 27 and my Facebook , facebook Messenger , there was a special

folder for people who messaged you that weren't friends with you . I think it's still set up that way today .

The hardest thing for me was the awareness that I knew he was alive and that I might actually have to face all the things I said about somebody that I never thought I'd have the opportunity to see or desire to see .

That was the hardest thing for me the realization of oh my goodness , all that stuff I said , thinking that I was never gonna see him , I might have to face , if I actually do wanna see him . And I ended up seeing him and it went surprisingly well . But the awareness is usually the heaviest thing . What is what can I help you with ?

Now I'm getting ready to leave and he says you smoke weed . And I was like yeah , love it , huge fan . He said oh , let me get you some . I said oh , and he gave me a bushel of weed to take home , a literal bushel , it was a bushel of weed .

So I've never in my life received a Christmas present from my father , to my understanding , but I did get a bushel of weed from him as a young man .

not believing something or not being aware of something to knowing it's a possibility , that's heavy , that is super heavy , and not knowing about vulnerability keep it lock it up . Not knowing about vulnerability and then realizing , oh my goodness , everything would be different if I could practice this one thing . I think that is the most valuable thing in the world .

I'm pivoting . I used to think unlearning was more important than learning . Now I'm in a phase of I don't know . I think unlearning is pretty important , but I also think learning and awareness might be more important , and I'm sure , five years from today , I'll say they're of equal importance depending on the person . But I still believe awareness is everything .

Awareness is an opportunity . You and I used to say this all the time . Well , we didn't say this all the time . This was your thing . You used to say knowledge is power . I said no , no , no , knowledge is not power , knowledge is potential . Knowledge is potential . I think awareness is very similar .

When you get a new awareness , you have this door to potential that opens that sometimes you don't know what to do and it can be very , very , very heavy . Or it can be very , very , very empowering .

If you've never been able to practice vulnerability , just to stick with the story that we started here with and all your relationships have ended in similar fashion and you get the awareness of , oh my goodness , that's what vulnerability looks like . If I just had that in my past four relationships , I would have been way more successful . That's just a heavy .

It's a heavy thing to learn , but it's also one of the most valuable things you can learn in the moment .

now you have a new opportunity , but you now realize that you made some mistakes and or bad choices , or ignorant choices , or naive choices .

I often you've heard me do this a dozen times Kev will be on stage or will be on the virtual stage and meet up or whatever , and I'll say everyone think of something really dumb they did in high school , really unintelligent , I think is what I said , and everyone's like yep , got it Not hard to think of that . A bunch of them yeah , there's several , right ?

And why is that ? Why is it so easy to think of something unintelligent you did in high school ? Because when you're in high school , you don't know anything . Right , all high schoolers are ignorant . They don't know it , but they're ignorant .

And this podcast personal growth , vulnerability , humility , courage , everything we're teaching , everything we're talking about , everything we're philosophizing about , everything we're contemplating , every concept is .

I just think it's the constant , persistent , never ending pursuit of knowledge , skills , awareness that empower you to have a bigger , better , brighter future , but force you to face the truth of your past . I didn't know what emotional maturity was . This is a perfect example . Emilia and I did a relationship talks virtual event probably 15 plus people there

and it was on emotional maturity and I remember during the event I just said listen , I gotta call myself out here . I'm not trying to teach any of you this right now . I'll try to help these concepts land , but I'm new to all this too . Said I didn't have a ton of emotional maturity . I don't consider myself a super emotionally mature person .

It wasn't until my 30s that I feel like I started to really proactively work on that . I didn't even know what it was Like . What does it mean to be emotionally immature ? Right , and for our listeners this will be a little side tangent , but it's super valuable .

I no longer look at people's age , I look at their emotional maturity age and it has changed a mild life , because I know someone who's 45 , who their emotional maturity is 14 , and I have someone else who's 24 , whose emotional maturity is 87 . Shout out to Jesse unbelievable . And again 87 . In a wise just a wise soul .

But Without that concept emotional maturity , without the concept of vulnerability , without the concept of humility and contemplating what that is can you really make good choices about who to spend time with and who not , to , what career to go down .

It's like a GPS without an address and a current location and without the terrain , you're going to drive off a bridge on accident into a lake because you don't have the data . And so when I said knowledge is power , what I meant is awareness . Awareness is potential power . But yeah , you do . You have to have the courage to do something with it , and it is .

It's nothing short of exhausting .

But you ever see a cruise ship , son ? I don't know how those things float . That does not make any sense . Water displacement I understand what it is . Well , look at it . No , I know .

sure , it's made of iron , sir . I assure you it can and it will .

But you got to go look for that stuff . You got to go look for it because a lot of the , a lot of the stuff you're not going to find by accident Very rarely are you going to find stuff that changes your life in a positive way by accident . I think you got to be out looking for it . Looking for gold that would be my next level nugget .

And the top five regrets of the dying is a book that I talk about , but of course , I almost died in a car accident . My father did pass away in a car accident and I'm in . All the regrets of my poor choices , my emotional immaturity , my traumas I haven't dealt with . And I find a book called the top five regrets of the dying .

That's not a coincidence , it makes sense . My brain was looking for answers . So my next level nugget is look for answers . The only wrong answer is to stop looking . You know , if you're looking to be better and it's from an honest , non-ego place , you're going to find ways to be better . You're going to find events .

You're going to find podcasts , you're going to find books , you're going to find concepts that that can help you . And sometimes yeah , sometimes we wait until we're in the dark and the pain is great enough to go looking . But curiosity may have killed the cat , but it made the human being .

And I would say my next level nugget is stay super curious about all the concepts that can change your life for the better , because when your life changes for the better , your family's life changes for the better , the community's life changes for the better , and then the world is better and you'll be more fulfilled .

And , at the end of the day , what I say all the time on other podcasts is fulfilled people don't hurt people , and so what the world desperately needs more of is fulfilled people , and I think personal growth is the answer I do .

second that Next level nation . If you are looking for a group of fulfilled human beings doing their thing every day and trying to get a little bit better and get a little bit closer to whatever that thing is , please join our private Facebook group , next Level Nation . I would argue that it's the most positive place on the internet .

The tickets are going faster than we expected . March 23rd 2024 . It's a Saturday . It's from 10 to 5 . And again , we've been doing this every single year .

We'll be there and there's going to be a live feed , virtually as well . We're doing 30 tickets in-person , 30 tickets virtual , so six teams of 10 . There's breakout sessions . It's all of the very best of everything Kevin and I have learned condensed into one day .

I promise you this you will leave this day more self-aware , more aware , and you're going to be able to make better choices . Your future will be bigger , better and brighter .

For having gone this day , you will not regret it and if , for whatever reason , you absolutely despise it , somehow hate it I do not think that will ever happen , not if you're a listener of this show , but if , for whatever reason , you absolutely hate it , you can email me . I will give you your money back .

So I don't think that will happen , but please book your ticket as soon as possible because we are only doing 30 in-person and 30 virtual . The link will be in the show notes .

Let's pump the brakes on that a little bit . We'll just pump the brakes on that a little bit . So that's what we're going to talk about tomorrow for episode number 1,603 . As always , we love you , we appreciate you , grateful for each and every one of you , and at NLU we have fans , we have family . We will talk to you all tomorrow .