¶ Intro / Opening
Your confidence , your belief and your aligned self-worth are required for your holistic success , and I think the sooner you realize that , the sooner you understand that right now I have to go through what's perceived as difficult and uncomfortable , because eventually I'll be grateful I did .
But looking back in hindsight , you have a deeper understanding . Do you think you believe ? I guess , how much do you think you believed in yourself ? now , looking back , in comparison to most people ?
Welcome to Next Level University . I am your host , Kevin Paul Mary .
And I am your co-host , alan Lazarus , at .
Next Level University . We believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for Dream Chasers .
We bring you seven episodes per week to help you level up your life , your love , your health and your wealth .
Self-improvement in your pocket , every day , from anywhere , for free . Welcome to Next Level University , next Level Nation . Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University , where we teach you how to level up your life , your love , your health and your wealth .
The reason I am laughing is because , for some reason , my other microphone none of my other microphones are working , for some reason , so I'm using the old-school microphone . I don't have a mic arm for it . But again , messy action Fail forward .
We're going to get through the episode because that's what we do , but if I am sounding a little bit different or looking different on YouTube , that is the reason why my head is massive , because I have to lean in towards the camera . We hope you enjoyed the latest episode . It was episode number 1357 . Three questions to ask yourself to have more clarity . Today .
For episode number 1358 , we don't have the title because we don't know what it is , but we'll make sure the actual verbage is there . Alan's going to interview me on something I don't know what . We haven't discussed it . Let's see what happens .
So , for the old listeners , who haven't heard Kevin's story in a long time , and for the new listeners which we have a lot and we're grateful we want to make sure . I guess my intention with this episode is simple . It's not just the message , it is the messenger . It's not just what you know , it's who you are .
And so what I want this episode to be , kev , is to pull back the curtain on what it really took to get to the place that you are , because I think , in many ways , you've reached a level beyond what you thought was possible . And I want to get back to the grassroots of what Next Level U stands for . Which is Next Level U stands for a simple principle .
There's always another level , and the idea is a really simple one . If you want to get to the next level in your life your health , wealth , love or life you're going to have to probably go inside yourself at a deeper level .
And the reason why is because there's really three things that need to align Who you are , which is your identity , the process by which you achieve your goals and dreams , and then the actual goals themselves . And so , when I first met Kev , he was clear on who he was , but not clear on his goals . And I think that you really need all three .
Imagine someone who's absolutely clear on their goals , absolutely clear on the process , on how to get there , and very clear on who they are .
And when you reach a new level , you have to reevaluate who you are And then you have to reevaluate your goals And then you have to reevaluate the process by which to get to those goals , because if you change your goals now , you have to change the process .
So my first question I guess it would be an open-ended one which would be you talk about how you didn't feel like you believed in yourself , and I think that's true in comparison to you now , but looking back in hindsight , you have a deeper understanding .
¶ How much did Kevin believe in himself?
Do you think you believe ? I guess , how much do you think you believed in yourself now , looking back in comparison to most people ? Because I think back then you thought you had zero belief , but I think you had sneaky self-belief because you did a lot of things that were quite reckless for someone who doesn't believe in themselves .
I don't know . When I look back , i still don't think I had that much belief because , remember we used to do we would do a live podcast every single week And the team would give us feedback and they'd say have you crushed it ? or whatever . Usually I get really good feedback . Usually the team beat up Alan because Alan wanted more serious feedback than I .
But I remember saying to you I don't care what people think of the performance , i care what's going on in my head , because that's all that matters to me , because what's going on in my head is what's dictating the performance , that I may have done a lot of reckless things , but my thought process during those was probably mostly fear .
I'm telling you there were certain things that I had a lot of belief in Anything physical . I had a lot of belief in My ability to lift a weight or run fast or whatever it is . That was something I had , but that was my body , because I knew I had a capable , a strong , capable body And because I had done that for a long time .
It's like I was doing cartwheels and backflips when I was young , so I always felt confident there . I always had a lot of belief around that With a lot of other stuff , even my job . There were certain things I wasn't good at that I did not think I could get good at And I was 25 . So no , looking back I do believe my perspective was very accurate .
Where some stuff it probably looked like I believed in myself a ton , but it's probably because I just had a lot of reps .
Okay , now that you do have higher self-belief , which I do believe is the most important factor long term for anyone to manifest their dream life , their goals and to become who they aspire to be . I think self-belief is first . I think number two is who you surround yourself with because of number one and how much they believe in themselves .
But for you , now that you actually do have quite a bit of self-belief , i guess , first question , statistically speaking , just being honest here and vulnerable , how much self-belief do you think you have from zero to 10 ?
If 10 is the most you've ever seen and zero is the least self-belief you've ever seen , now that you kind of know that a lot of people are operating within maybe delusion or ego and not real authentic self-belief inside of themselves , eight , okay . So where were you at the beginning of the journey six years ago ?
Four , three , four .
Okay , all right . It's interesting because usually you don't shoot for things above three or four , if you have a belief of three or four , and so you were shooting for things way past three , or at least you appeared to be .
I was . I just think for me it was . If I can , i'm just willing to suffer . I think that's one of the unique things about me is I don't always know how to do it And I don't always believe I can figure it out either . That's something that's . I had a very fixed mindset with that .
But I did know if I get on a train that looks like it's going to lead to success . I'm pretty good at showing up every day That . I think that's why I did a lot of the stuff I did and the way I did it , but I don't I never .
I was talking to somebody the other day and it was just very clear that this person had a lot of belief , just based on their decisions , based on what they said , based on their goals . It was very clear that they had a lot of belief and when I compare that to old Kev , it's not their way ahead of where I was For sure , for sure .
Okay , now
¶ How did Kevin do it when he didn't have belief?
that you have belief , how did you do it before without it ? That's a really good question for our listeners who are struggling with this .
I got around you . It's hard . That's a hard answer because I know that's not replicable for most people . I got around people who believed in themselves , who kind of didn't understand that I didn't believe in myself , kind of , and then I figured out how to stay alive .
It was almost like Okay , cool , this is a good frame and this is kind of a hardcore frame . But if you're a lion and all my friends are lions and you think I'm a lion , but I know I'm not a lion , i just have to do what lions do until you think I am one , and then I become one And then I can start acting like one . I think that's what I did .
It was just Okay .
Weird analogy . Do you think you're a lion now ?
I would say so yeah , yeah , okay Yeah .
Nice , okay , that's the brain science piece where you can actually change your brain . So what if you actually do believe in yourself ? And so now you've reached a place where you believe in yourself and you know you believe in yourself even more than people who you used to know for a fact had more self-belief than you . Yeah , what's that been like ?
It's very It's very reassuring That's the best way to put it . It's very reassuring that you're just in way more control than you think , or you're in way more control than you ever realized . I never felt like I was creating my future or my present . I never really felt that .
When you don't have confidence , it's very hard for you to understand how you're impacting the rest of your life , because you're not really focused on that . You're focused on getting through the day , getting through the week , getting through the month . So there is a level of reassurance that's powerful , where I actually feel like I am in control of my results .
Now , not all of them , or I won't say not all of them . I'm not in full control of all my results , but I'm in more control than I've ever been . I feel really , really good about that . It's a very reassuring , connecting piece of oh interesting , i can kind of do anything I want within the realm of my capabilities .
That I should spend as much time figuring out what my actual capabilities are , because that's going to serve me when it comes to goal setting , because I'm actually capable of way more than I ever thought . That's what I would say .
I would argue that you can actually shoot for things beyond your current capabilities .
I would say so too Okay .
Can you go into helping that land for someone who might be ?
at a three or four . I don't know if that will land , because it's almost the .
This is why I think reflection is so important to me , because when you go back and you look at what you thought was possible , when you reflect it allows , it's almost like okay , if I go back three years and then I figure out okay , three years ago I never , ever ever , believed where we'd be today is where , or where we are today is where we'd be , what
does that mean ? about three years from today , it's . I'm even . I'm way more off . Here's the interesting thing I'm way more accurate about where we'll be in three years , but I'm also way off because I'm way better than I thought I would be three years ago .
So there's no possible way I don't get way better in three years than I got in the last three years , like exponentially better . I don't know if I can explain that , because it depends on . It depends on your relationship with the growth you've had since the last time you checked in . That's the best way I can explain that All right .
You and I
¶ Deeper understanding
in the beginning of this journey , we didn't understand . What we didn't understand makes perfect sense , and we've helped each other drive to five on many different things .
I used to think I used to think that deeper understanding was really all that mattered , because without a deeper understanding , you can't make good choices And if you can't make good choices , you can't create great results . And that's just a very logical thought process .
You loved tactics And now it's fascinating because you're like loving deeper understanding And I'm like focused on how to way more than I used to be , like I had the whole team send how to questions for the training we're going to do today . Because I now understand I value deeper understanding . Because deeper understanding I always felt like the how to was easy .
In other words , ok , your microphone broke And or whatever mixer microphone we don't even know yet .
OK .
Kevin understands enough about microphones and mixers and audacity and podcast production at this stage , with all the shows we produce , plus the thirteen hundred fifty eight episodes we've done on our own show , to where you have a higher probability of troubleshooting and finding the root cause of this issue than I do .
Which is why when I came on the microphones today , i was basically like , should I even try to help him troubleshoot or should I just stay quiet and let him do his thing ? because you were frazzled , but but by frazzled , frustrated not in a bad way , but frustrated at trying to figure it out . Trying to figure something out is frustrating .
If you know a lot about cars and you bring the car to the mechanic when it's broken , they troubleshoot and find the issue quickly , just like you with podcasting .
So it's almost like I want you to go back to past Kev , when I first met him six years ago , and from this new consciousness , this new awareness , this new hyper consciousness , i want you to troubleshoot what the real issue was for our listeners . In hindsight , what was the real issue ?
I think it's the simplest but most complicated thing on the planet . When you don't believe in yourself , you don't try . When you don't try , you don't get results . When you don't get results , you get stuck And then you convince yourself you're not capable .
I'm telling you , I think that was , You know , the biggest difference between six years ago , Kev , and today , Kev . I just try a lot more stuff , That's all it is really And obviously .
I've learned a lot . Why don't people try ?
Because they think they're going to fail .
And honestly , they're most likely going to in the beginning . That's the that's a fact , yeah .
I think it's almost like that's why motivation stuff doesn't work .
And that's why tactics do , because they give you certainty enough to at least try , Because at least you know a tactic might work . But they don't . They don't because you can't just deploy a tactic in the same scenario and expect it to work the same way .
You can get started . Yeah , but , like , when I started this podcast , i googled how to start a podcast . That's what I googled And I found the equipment and I did all that .
Yeah , that was enough to get me going . Then it's like then you get deeper understanding . So in hindsight it's actually both you . you need a tactic to get started . If you don't believe in yourself , which gives you enough certainty to try , then you try and you inevitably fail . And when you fail you hopefully get deeper understanding as to why you failed .
And then you fail forward And then you fail forward . so it's kind of like tactic try , fail , troubleshoot , try better .
¶ Nathan expresses his appreciation for the invaluable coaching services he received from Alan
My name is Nathan Schwerman . I'm from Lawrence Kansas . I've been a client of Allen's for coming on two years now And I really can't recommend this program enough . Allen's always there for me with great advice and holding me accountable every step of the way And really leading by example .
I've grown a lot in his program , but he's grown alongside with me , so I'd really recommend joining up on the program and joining the community .
¶ Troubleshooting is a deeper understanding
Troubleshooting is deeper understanding .
Yeah , 100% .
I think the tactic a lot of times is the external Do this , do this , do this . This is how you show up , this is what you do , this is the action .
And then , i think , a lot of times , deeper understandings , internal But if I give you a tactic , hey , kev , i want you to post an Instagram reel of you on the beach . It's going to crush it because I did it and it worked . But I'm like a I don't know , a 23 year old beautiful woman in a bikini and you're you .
It's not going to work the same way , and that's . But that's why tactics mess people up , because it's not supposed to work the same way . You know what I mean . So it's not that simple . But if that gets you to post a reel and then you learn social media because of that last question , because I know we got to jump four minutes from now , all right .
I used to say fail forward all the time . I now understand that . I do believe now , having coached a lot more people like this . Fear of failure is very high . Fear of looking bad is like big People are really afraid to look bad And I look back and I was afraid to look bad too , but I kind of just said F it . Even some of my posts .
Now it's like this is not going to go well with some of my followers . I know they're not going to like this , even the 450 days in a row of exercise or whatever like when I say that , i know that's not a positive bid . with people who follow me , you know what I mean .
You know what I mean , but I can't not share it because if I don't share it I'm not being me , and that's worse than if I win all the time at social media or whatever it is So for you . I used to say fail forward . Having been someone who fears success more than failure , i don't think I could ever explain it well For you .
And look at that 450 days in a row . I'm not pumped to post that because I'm afraid of success . I don't want to be better than other people . You know what I mean . I don't want to showcase that I'm more capable . So weird For you it was the opposite . You don't want to be seen as less capable For people that also fear what you feared .
Can you make fail forward actually land , because I never fully did .
I don't know . It's a super hard thing . I would say two things . One , most people are thinking way more about themselves than they are you Way more about themselves . Most people are insecure in certain situations . They're not thinking about your insecurity , they're thinking about their own . They're thinking about their own .
The last thing on their mind is you and whatever goofy thing you're doing . Here's the problem The three people that do notice it and reach out to you . You think everybody is that , and that's just not true . That's just not true . That's part one .
Okay , what about failure ?
It's not what people think it is . Failure is not making a mistake , Failure is stopping Again . My favorite thing in the world . Somebody comes to me and says I have a test to take . I'm afraid to fail . Can you retake it ? Yes or no ? Yes , you can't fail . It's possible . It's quite literally impossible for you to fail .
I'll give you the 50 bucks to retake it . You're good , You can't fail . You just didn't succeed . Yet There's a difference . I think failure is final . This episode is only as important as the next episode we do . So if this is the last episode ever , this is we failed , in my opinion .
But if your goal is to not look bad , you with this crapier mic .
Well .
I hate it .
I have an interview later and I'm already thinking about it .
How have you overcome that ? That's good . How are you overcoming that ? right now , real talk listeners . We didn't want to do this episode with crapier mics . No , no , this eats me alive , but we'd rather do it than not have an episode . How did you overcome that ?
At this point I think it's just the identity . When you do it long enough , it becomes .
But people can't have that identity unless they do it long enough , which they won't .
It's just the small stuff . It's small . That's the problem is , people will see us failing on such a grand scale now , but you haven't seen most of my failures , not you , you have .
But if you're listening , you haven't seen the day-to-day . I've seen at least one . This is a good one .
We have something we talked about . It's called the Out Here Jeffin Club , where we meet every other week and there is no agenda . We just meet and have fun . I did it for one week and then I got taken from me because I did it so badly I failed . quote , unquote . I want to be very honest . They're weed-whacking outside . It's raining .
I can't hear them , so you're good .
Well , it's because this mic sucks , perfect . I literally had a moment where I felt bad . I was like , oh God , i can't believe I Jeffed that . I Jeffed that . The team's probably looking at me like I'm an idiot , alan's probably looking at me like I'm an idiot And they was like , whatever , what's the big deal ? It's not that big of a deal . So
¶ Practice your failure in private
I just think you have to start practicing your failures in private long before you start failing in public . But just like your successes , you're going to have a lot of successes in private long before you ever have them in public . Most of them , most of my successes , you will never see because they're not public .
Can you give us an example ?
Man , it's hard because we are so big on our wins , because it's part of our business , but , like next level podcast solutions , i had a quarter of a million dollar a year business . Nobody knows that . Nobody knows that .
That's me They do now , i know And again for me .
I value that because I value that . you know the money and the impact and the fact that we've gotten where we have , but you would never know that if I didn't say it .
Yeah .
And here's the thing I all okay cool . That means I won behind the scenes 45 times in order to get 45 clients . I also lost behind the scenes considering we've had 20 something clients .
How many times have you lost ? Okay , so 45 clients . How many clients have you tried to get ? Oh , my goodness gracious . So how many , how many strikeouts ?
10 times that .
Okay , so 450 . At least At least Okay To get 45 clients .
But here's the interesting thing This is the okay , this is a great , this is a really good way to look at it . The first year I started Next Level Podcast Solutions , I probably got one client and lost one client , Okay .
Okay .
Second year I probably got eight clients and maybe contacted 20 people . So you can see , as the success increases , the failure increases .
And you also lost . How many clients you lost ? You lost at least three . The second year I don't remember , but you lost more than one . So the losses increase as well as the successes , right ? Yes ?
But it's almost that . It's almost the . I got one client , but I was also only capable of messaging 10 people that year and getting rejected by 10 people . Then say I got 10 clients next year , then maybe I can message 40 people and get rejected by 40 people . Rinse and rinse and rinse .
This year I have no idea how many people I've tried to help And they've just said no or they've just ghosted me , like it just now is . I don't even really think about it .
Isn't it weird how you're getting ghosted more now than you ever have , but it's because you're shooting more shots .
Well , that but here's the other thing too . Again , it's the reps . I've just done it so many times behind the scenes I don't think about it anymore , Just like when you get in your car you don't think about it . You've just done it so , but in the beginning it was miserable It was challenging , it was difficult .
Here's the difference . Yeah , that Steve , one almost took you down .
He almost took me down . Here's the difference . Here's the difference . I've said this many , many , many , many times before If the necessity to overcome something is not there , you won't do it . There's a reason . A lot of us face certain fears Driving , riding a bike when we're young , swimming , whatever it is .
There's a reason , because it's necessary for our success . Your confidence , your belief and your aligned self-worth are required for your holistic success And I think the sooner you realize that , the sooner you understand that . Right now I have to go through what's perceived as difficult and uncomfortable , because eventually I'll be grateful . I did .
If you imagine , if you didn't take driving lessons when you were 15 or 16 and get laughed off the road by your instructor , you might not have a license , or you might not be able to ride a bike , or you might not know how to swim , and then you couldn't go here or there .
You wouldn't have freedom , you'd have less capabilities , You couldn't take your partner on a date , all of it . Your capabilities become infinitely less , Your possibilities , your opportunities become infinitely less . Because you didn't And I failed my first driver's license . I had to parallel park in Milford man , you didn't fail .
Yeah , i took it again .
You're right , you're right . That's a great point , awesome .
You made a mistake , definitely . I almost failed , i almost didn't succeed . Did you have to ?
parallel park . Yeah , i remember .
I was in drive and I looked back and I forgot to put it in reverse . almost The person gave me a little like hey . I was like oh , my goodness , thank you so much .
Terrific That was terrifying Downtown Milford man . Worst place to take it ever . All right , yeah , milford mess , milford mess . That's it , man . That's all I had . I know we also got a transition .
Yeah , no , i'm gonna interview you next . It'll be world class , probably .
Most likely , you've failed enough times in interviewing , so you should be good by now .
I have . It's been a minute since I've you're easy to interview . I just ask you one question . You just go off for 25 minutes quotes , part dates , whatever it is . Next level nation . If you are looking for growth minded humans who can talk about belief , they can have these kind of conversations . Please join our private Facebook group Next Level Nation .
Link is in the show notes .
Kevin and I , years ago , had a tradition , starting six years ago actually , where every Father's Day we would get together and everyone else was with their dads , and that was a traditionally sad day for us . Because , for those of you who don't know my story briefly So , my father passed away in a car accident when I was two years old .
I had a stepfather from age three to 14 . He left my family when we were 14 . Kevin didn't know his father until he was 27 , 27 . So we both grew up without fathers and we know that Father's Day can be a traditionally very sad day . So we created the Next Level Hope Foundation and we do two events a year .
One of them is the Father's Day event coming up June 18th . Is that true , the 18th ? Yes , okay , the link will be in the show notes to the website and all the information is there . If you are local , you can attend if you know any single parents or if you are a single parent . It's not just for boys without fathers , it's for children of single parents .
So all the information you need is on the website . You can donate or you can attend if you're local , only if you are have a child of a single parent , only if you are a single parent or have a child . Yeah , the point is all the information is there . I apologize , you can contribute if you're not local . Kevin and I will be matching funds .
We're raising $500 . I think we're halfway there already and we're matching an additional 500 . So I put you with that . But please donate , please contribute .
Simple , through line . We have a charity and we would love if you would help us grow it and impact people .
Simple , simple , simple .
You're very welcome Tomorrow for episode number 1359, . Kevin interviews Alan . That's the current title And now I changed this . This was how Kevin built his belief Alan interviews Kevin , so we'll figure out a good one for tomorrow .
As always , we love you , We appreciate you , grateful for each and every one of you , and at NLU , we do not have fans , we have family
¶ Outro
. We will talk to you all tomorrow .
Keep believing in yourself . Next time on Asia .
Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University . We love connecting with the Next Level family .
We mean it when we say family . If you ever need anything , please reach out to us directly . Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes .
Thank you again And we will talk to you tomorrow .