#1356 - A Simple Way To Start Valuing Yourself More

Happy Saturday today for episode number 1356 . A simple way to start valuing yourself more Somebody I I don't know if I would say I'm friends with somebody I know on social media . What are you smiling about , man ? I'm moving my mic arm again . You're moving your mic arm For those , so shout out to Jerry-Ann who said sometimes that's distracting .

I have ordered us new mic arms , Very high quality , Should be silent .

They are a podcaster and they just crossed 150 episodes on their podcast and they just crossed 10,000 downloads And they did this post where they said I almost didn't celebrate this . I didn't feel like 10,000 downloads was enough and I didn't feel like , in the sea of podcasts , that 150 episodes was that meaningful .

And then I thought to myself , if a client of mine had accomplished what I just did , how would I treat them versus how would I treat myself and how am I treating myself right now ? And I think that is a really , really , really good perspective shift because it kind of takes out any lack of self-worth or lack of self-belief we have in ourselves .

If , if , okay , i think of it this way , if I accomplish something and I don't feel like I deserve to be recognized for it , i'm not going to celebrate myself . But if Alan accomplishes something , i'm not thinking about myself .

It kind of goes back to the episode about being self-conscious versus others conscious if you're kind of hacking that to give yourself the credit that you actually deserve . And I just wonder , if you're watching or listening , if that would be something beneficial to practice .

Because a couple of things One , if you're a heart-driven human being , you probably enjoy complimenting other people . Two , unfortunately , many of us struggle to own our wins because we've been convinced that that makes us arrogant or that makes us insert negative connotation here .

And when you're giving that love to somebody else , it's probably an easier way for you to hack it for yourself .

Are you focused on what you've already achieved or are you focused on what you're going to achieve and finding five in the drive to five around that whole concept ? What I would say is I think that when we celebrate other people , we're looking from a filter of wow , that's really impressive for them , that's really cool .

I guess you're probably better to ask this question As someone who has 1,356 episodes . Do you feel the same way , celebrating us at 150 , as that person ?

Those are the ones I kind of celebrate now , but that's based on the fact that we've had a lot of celebrations , or perceived celebrations , up until this point . It's such an interesting perspective though I made . On Wednesday Pop pop up came over . If you know , pop up , that is my father-in-law . We tell the cats pop-ups coming over and they're all about it .

The one human pop up , the one human that fudge likes . That is a stranger Everybody else who's ever come over fudge is terrified of . He loves pop up , loves him , the cutest thing in the world . Why he came ? why ? Why Calm energy . Probably Cats know , animals know , animals know .

So he was coming over and Taran said hey , i got dinner , can you cook us turkey burgers ? And I was like I give it a shot . You know , i will give it a shot . Get pizza on the line in case , because this could go horribly wrong . And I made turkey burgers and they looked terrible . I mean , it looked bad . You know they were not the sexiest .

There was going to be no commercials of these . They were not sexy looking burgers . But bull taran and pop pop said damn , these are really , really , really good . And I Probably wouldn't have given myself credit for cooking really good burgers until I heard somebody else say it about them . That's the interesting thing .

I'm not disconnected , but I start to feel like I haven't checked in with myself in a minute , mm-hmm . Then I'll go watch something like an old episode of us and I'm like , wow , we really sucked back then . We're the best , this is amazing .

And then I celebrate myself and then You'll get some sort of message from me of , like dude , this whole thing is so weird man . The last five years have been wild .

What do you feel about Kevin as a whole ? when you think about Kevin ?

Like no one's going to love kale I always say that because it's just not real And if it is , they learn to love it somehow and biologically they still love donuts and McDonald's . Like , of course , i can't get over that . I know it's like well , i can learn to love kale as much as McDonald's . I don't know , i don't know if that's true .

So anyways , that's my own thing . But if you do hard things , which you need to do to grow , then you're not going to feel good in the moment , but at least you will feel good when you think about yourself . You talked to me earlier , kev , about the rocking chair , 88 year old Kevin . Like what would 88 year old Kevin tell Kevin now ?

And 88 year old Kevin , essentially in this metacognition , said keep it up , you're on the path keep it up . Okay , that's feeling good about you .

It was I was getting ready to drift off . Tara and I had just finished snuggling and I was getting ready to drift off . And you know how sometimes you like when you're right on the edge of dreaming you're like in a weird state . That's where I was when I had that .

If you , if you and I , were to listen to this podcast , this episode , and say , wow , that was like . Imagine two people doing that episode . Not you Like . That was a really valuable episode , but I might say this episode sucks .

You helped me with the strategy and you gave me all kinds of really great support . You know , i think the key to success in business is a great attitude , and you have that in spades . You really walk the walk . So thanks again , take care , i'll talk to you soon .

So Emilia and Taryn both came on the podcast one time . Do you remember that ? Okay , emilia had planned on being a world-class speaker . Okay , and Taryn doesn't . So Taryn , after the speech , was really thrilled about her performance And that's awesome , and she should be . I called Emilia and I was like babe , how are you doing ? And she's like not good .

I'm like , i know , that's why I'm calling you like seriously , like are you okay ? Like , are we good ? I said zero to 10 . How do you think that went ? And she's like oh my God , i suck like maybe a four . Objectively , in the audience , anyone could have looked at Taryn and Emilia and said they did comparable effort . They did . They did both a good job .

But the perception is based on the standard . So if Taryn isn't trying to be a world class speaker , she can say I'm glad I did it . I did it , it went better than I thought . Awesome , and Emilia has to go and pick it apart because she has to go get better , and so I think that that's kind of what I want to bring to .

This is what is the right amount of celebration for you that is constructive . And the last piece for me , kev , you go back and look at old stuff , i think to celebrate from the holistic metacognitive place of like Kevin as a whole . Look how far I've come . I am proud of how far we've come as men . I'm not that proud of you know , our listens this year .

I'm honestly not . I mean , i don't . It's not that I think it's bad , it's not that I'm ungrateful , it's that I know we're capable of more . I know that I haven't done a very good job at marketing or social media . I haven't . I can't pretend that I have . I know that I haven't done a good job .

So I think that that's why the celebration thing messes with me is because I think it's all predicated on standards , goals , beliefs , identity , and I don't know what the most optimal amount of celebration is . But I do know that me celebrating someone who's brand new in fitness , going to the gym for a full week straight , is amazing .

But I'm not going to do that with myself because I hold a different standard . But me in the beginning , a week straight , i would have celebrated the hell out of that of like I'm doing it . I'm actually doing it , you know .

And she named a name that we both know And I said how much is he maximizing his potential ? She said , ah , probably 60% . And I was like , yeah , i came up with the same number , I think about 60% . Okay , this other person that we both know how much is she maximizing her potential ? And she was like 30 maybe , and I was like , i know , right , like 30 .

Okay , but this is my favorite thing in the whole world . I'm going to share this briefly . I had a past partner who my favorite part about her was that she maximized her potential . She was less capable in many ways than other people , but she still did way more with it .

And one of my favorite parts about you , kev , seriously , is that you came from an environment that most people wouldn't have been able to create what you've created . To me , that matters more than someone who had every opportunity , and I'm thinking of two people .

Right now , just in my consciousness , there's one person I'm thinking of I'll keep it anonymous who honestly had a great childhood , is brilliant , brilliant , but he's lazy . He's not maximizing his potential . To an extent , that bothers me . Okay , now , that's also . My purpose is helping people maximize their potential . It's supposed to frustrate me .

You are so much closer to your true potential than he is . It's not even close . And so , to me , that's what I celebrate .

I try to celebrate people who are doing all they can with all they have , and I'm actually more proud of the people we impact Kev than I am of my own performance , if that makes sense , and I think that that's what I try to celebrate most , and that's why I have that folder of all the testimonials and all the people that have reached out saying that we've

changed their life . I want this podcast to actually change people's lives . I care more about that than I do whether or not we have a paid speech next week , you know .

I know some people who are doing amazing things with very little And I know some people who are doing almost nothing with very much . And to me , the people who do a lot with very little I have such reverence for .

I don't think it was almost the way they and it was a very nicely written post The way they approached it was almost like I didn't even think about celebrating . It was almost like , oh cool , this is the thing , whatever . On to the next thing .

Yeah , so the reason I wanted to do this episode and I think it's valuable for the audience is because I know so many of the people we've talked to celebrate or struggle to identify wins , not even celebrate them . Identify them first , and If you're not giving yourself credit for the effort you're putting in , you're not celebrating that .

If you're not giving yourself credit for the results you've created based on the effort you're putting in , you're not celebrating that . I think you need the good chemicals , you need the feel-goods To say like , wow , i'm doing something really positive , you're awesome . It's especially if it's , if it's more than you expected , if you made it further than you think .

I think that's one of the reasons I try to celebrate . It's usually further than I Then I expected to get , so it's almost like I need to celebrate this because I didn't . I never expected to be here .

But if you're out there and you feel like , honestly , i don't know if Celebrating is what I really feel in my soul , i don't know if I feel proud of myself in this instance , then own that too and do better .

I think you know it's like for you , kev , it's not like you're okay , you've been working out , crushing it lately but you're not like pumped About your physique , and the reason why is because you know you're capable of more and you know you've been letting it ride .

So have I , you know , and I think I'm proud of us for getting a hold of that and then our progress since , really , the ownership we've had around that .

But I think this is you unique to each individual , and I think that one thing that I've found fascinating is a lot of people think I don't celebrate enough , but I wonder if I wonder if they're Putting themselves in my shoes and saying if I accomplished that I would be pumped , and I Wonder if that's an accurate way to do that , because so , for example , i

have a friend who's way stronger than I am , probably stronger than I'll ever be . If I was him , i'd be pumped about squatting for 15 , but for him that's not even anything to celebrate , in a way , you know . I mean So it's almost not even constructive from a growth frame For me to . But if he saw you do it he would be celebrating .

But that's because it's a big deal for me , right and it should be a big deal for me . And the analogy here as weird as it is , is it ? you know , if the all-star player scores 10 points , the crowd's not gonna go nuts , but if a bench player does , it's like whoa , like where'd you come from ?

awesome , and I think that there's something to be said for that . You know , it's not like Leonardo DiCaprio is gonna have like a great performance and everyone's gonna be like , oh my god , i'm so shocked . Let's celebrate , you know , cuz .

And that's the whole heavy lies , the crown thing , for lack of better phrasing , and I don't want to get into the crown stuff . But very last piece , i promise identity process goals . Which one do you celebrate most ? the identity is the metacognitive I'm proud of . Kevin , i think you do celebrate that . I know I do . That's the one that I hold on to .

Who I became as a man is the one I'm holding on to like , and I need that too , because when we don't get the results which is often You , regardless of effort I need that one . So for me , that's what I hold my self-esteem to is who I am as a man , and That way no one can touch that because it's my own actions , right .

So identity , process , effort , celebrate effort and then results when you get results . If you're only celebrating results , you're in a lot of trouble because now the external world is Is dictating your own self-esteem .

So this is what we're gonna do . We are going to Take next level live the live event that we did in April and we are going to turn it into a free course Again . I don't know when it's gonna be out , because there's some a lot of back-end work that has to happen , but it's the best event we've ever hosted .

It's some of the best content we've ever spoken , so I'm very excited for you all to have access to that . I will keep you in the loop , we will keep you in the loop and we'll let you know when it is live .

There's going to be worksheets , without a question , you're going to leave this free course . The fact that this is free is wild , honestly , because this is our very best work that we've accumulated over the last six years . And we put it all into one event and now into one course , and it's totally free .

So please download that How to level up your health , your wealth and your love . There's going to be worksheets and it's just imagine this podcast , but fully curated and customized with worksheets that actually get you to customize and dig deeper . Um , i just cannot oversell this thing . I please download that . We'll let you know as soon as it's out .

go to the website , check that out And we will see you over there . Kev , what was I supposed to plug ? Group coaching July , july 11th . July 11th 7-eleven 7-eleven 11 . Mm nice 7-eleven 11, . 7-eleven group 11 . Group coaching with Kevin . 7-eleven group 11 with Kevin and Alan and Alan .

It's less than $96 a month for three months for our listeners . If you are curious alan at nextleveluniversecom , kevin at nextleveluniversecom , reach out to us . We will give you the Instagram handles of the people that have experienced group coaching . You can ask them what was your experience ? What was it like ? Was it worth the money ?

That's how much we believe in this . Please reach out .

As always , we love you , we appreciate you , grateful for each and every one of you , and at NLU we do not have fans , we have family . We will talk to you all tomorrow , keep celebrating Next up on nation . Thanks for joining us for another episode of next level University . we love connecting with the next level family .