Next Generation 2-7-14

Justin realized that Megan was the girl that he wanted to be with, and they were best friends, and they decided to start a relationship, and maybe some of you down that road. When you start uh being with your best friend uh escalating and you start getting to like them a little bit more and that's kind of what we had here.

Uh but now s things seem to have gotten a little bit complicated. They lost something in their dating relationship and that was their friendship. It seems like things uh took a lot of work when it used to be so simple. I mean you saw in the first week's video how they were communicating. It was real easy for them to communicate. It was real easy for them to get along. It was real easy for them to do a lot of different things because they kept it simple, right?

dating and as they began to get into a relationship they found out that it was a little bit more hard work because they themselves. It got a little bit complicated and you know Facebook. You you've seen the status where you can put it's complicated. What's so complicated about it? One of my stories, I have a lot of stories. Stories. Um, there was this girl in Bible school. that uh

um started talking to whatever, like we were just hanging out, whatever, it was cool. Um but it started like everything was fine. Like her friends were my friends. We hung out, like everything was just kinda going smoothly. The whole semester goes by and of course, you know, I'd see her it's I would go see my friends at the

Like it was just kind of one of those things where we started to get to know each other. But then things got a little bit more complicated as the next semester came around. Because her ex boyfriend um decided to come to Bible college too. Oh, God called him to Bible college. Yeah, great. So, um it it got kinda like really weird because every time we'd have like uh prayer night at ch at school or whatever, like of course we'd have to be there and then he's there.

And then like we would do special outreaches that um You didn't have to go to but if you volunteered in a certain different ministry. uh you would go and she volunteered in the ministry and I volunteered also and and then all of a sudden here comes mister Mr. Romantic, like he decides to, you know, get involved in in the ministry as well. And uh what was the what was the funniest thing about all of it was this, was that he um entered into

music department at World Harvest. And he couldn't even sing, he couldn't even play instruments, but the only reason that he um entered into it was because she was in the music department. And, you know, it just it got really complicated. I got I got tired of like, you know, this fool always being there. And I was like, you know what? It ain't even worth it. Like, let's just stop talking. Let's just, you know, move on with our lives. But

But as you can tell, life sometimes will have like difficult relationships. It'll be complicated. And we have a tendency to overthink things and make them more complicated than they need to really be. I mean, I could have kept talking to her, I could have I could've, you know, continue to, you know, try to date her or whatever and not let, you know, this guy her

You know, bothered me, but I was like, you know what? It's really not worth it. It's it's it's too complicated for me. Like I'm just not I'm just not all into it. you know, their relationship, like the only reason he came to Bible college was because of her. I was like, you know what? Like I'm good. So I allowed, you know, those situations to take uh take control. And when we do this, we lose the whole idea of having fun with someone and enjoying their company.

And pretty much Um, I'm gonna say it, you know, a lot of times, especially when you're younger, okay, we take dating. Seriously than what we ought to do. Okay?

We look at the big picture and I I think it's either Disney or you know all these Twilight movies that y'all are watching and all of these you know uh uh love stories that that you guys watch and you Sometimes in your relationships, and y'all guys are in high school, some of y'all are in middle school, some of y'all never even had a boyfriend or girlfriend, y'all think that

I saw that. Um, some of y'all think that like every relationship has to be like this little fairy tale, and you you you overcomplicate things. But as we see in this movie, we we Individuals they had the perfect friendship, they were so cool with each other, they got along, they did everything.

But they forgot to do one thing and that was to keep it simple. They allowed certain situations to make things a lot more complicated. Um we put our entire self into the relationship and when it's gone, when it's over, we somehow Like there's nothing left of us. We we invest so much time, we invest so much of our of ourselves, we we put into this relationship. I I gotta I gotta text this person, I gotta call this person, and I gotta do this.

And after it's all said and done, when the relationship is over, when when the heartbreak of our lives is over in high school, God forbid that you break up with somebody in high school because I know that your life is going to be over. know that that's the worst thing that could ever happen to you in high school. I know that there's no love like the love that you have in high school. I know, trust me. I'm kidding. Okay?

But what I'm under what I'm saying is this, we we tend to lose ourselves and we put our entire selves into a relationship. And a lot of times after breakups, we struggle to find out who we are again because we put all our time and effort into really wasn't going to last. And to be honest, the majority of you will never end up marrying the people that you're dating. I know. Can you bring that over here? Can you bring it to me over here? Um

You're not gonna marry sometimes the people that you're dating right now. And when you can grasp that, when when you understand that, when It's like it it takes tha that's why I did it. I broke it too. Um We take things so seriously. And some people are like, well You don't know the relationship that I have with my boyfriend. You don't know the things that we do. I mean, you don't know how we have these intense

uh tickle fights. You don't know how we fart in front of each other and and and God let me tell you it smells but and I can take it so I know that no matter what comes in our relationship I'm I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna be fine. You don't know me, you don't know the things that we deal with. You don't know the the things that we do and and and you haven't um

Experience what we go through and and even if you think that you're so in love and you found the perfect person life will happen to you. You will grow and change and experience new things. Life will pull you in different directions. And I'll tell you The one thing that I've learned is that I'm a totally different person than I was. I I I was a certain way, I was I was you could say stuck in my own beliefs and I I I I was I was geekles then and I'm geek's now. It's a totally different person.

Life is gonna stretch you. Things are gonna take you in different directions. And you gotta understand that you know what the reality is, and I hope you grasp it, is that you may not marry the person. Now there's only one out of all the people that I know, there's only one Um

person that married their high school sweetheart. I mean I t I don't know if you guys know about high school sweethearts or whatnot, but there there's only one person that I know that actually married. And you know what's funny about that? Is that um The pr the two people that know I went to obviously high school with them. She was my first girlfriend. So the next guy that she dates, which is one of my buddies, um, they end up getting married. So it's it's kinda cool, I guess. Whatever. Um but

So here's the here's the advice that I want to give you. Okay, here's uh the dating advice that I want to give you. I'm not perfect. I I know I'm not, but I want to give you some advice and and and and I hope you're ready for this. When you date at the age

Uh in your life it w when when dating's all said said and done, I I want you to do this. I want you to kiss. Okay? And I know some of the parents are in here, they're like, what is he saying? Like tell and I know some of you are probably thinking like Yeah. Yes, I get to go home and mom you're not gonna believe Pastor Geo told me that I can't

It's gonna be so much fun. Like I'm gonna call my boyfriend up. Yo, we gotta kiss. No, no, no. Let me let me let me break it down to you. Okay. When I mean kiss, I mean keep it. simple. Okay? Keep it super simple. Um It's uh it's You're at an age where relationships need to be simple, they need to be fun, they need to be

Kind of like no pressure whatsoever. And you saw in the movie how she was constantly texting them and constantly blowing up her phone and constantly worrying about all of these different things about what's gonna happen months from now. You know what? My advice to you guys. Okay? Is to really keep it simple. If you have your Bibles, um turn with me to Proverbs four twenty-three. Proverbs four twenty three.

on the screen. Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life. Don't give away your heart so easily. Okay? Uh, because I think a lot of times the girls and it's it's not to make fun of any b not any gender or nothing like that, but I think a lot of times the girls tend to give their heart

a way a little bit more easy than the guys. Okay? My challenge to you is this, okay? When it comes to relationships, when it comes to everything like that, guard your heart, protect it. Because as the scripture says, it is the wellspring of life. When you guard your heart, you're able to protect who you are and maintain your identity instead of being By a relationship. And I've been there. I've been in that. When I was in high school, I

And whatnot, and and I I was so defined by the relationship. And I too, when I when when breakups happened, I said, man, what do I what do I gotta do? Where am I at? Like what's what's my life? And I and I would I would give up my friends. I would stop hanging out with my friends and I would stop, you know, doing certain things because I defined myself by the relationship and not by who I really was. Um it doesn't mean that we put walls up or don't let it win in. It means to be cautious.

and how soon you let people in the type of people that you let in. So if Anthony could put up the the acronym again, KISS, um I wanna do four quick little points to share with you.

about how you as a young person can keep it super simple. Number one is hang out in groups. This is how we get to know somebody for who they are and not who they pretend to be just to for you to like them. You see how they treat and respect and care others. And how they will show you uh about who they really are. You will see how they react in different situations and different settings around different people. Hanging out in groups draws out who really people are. Number two.

Don't overthink. It's easy to be like, well Uh what they what did they mean to me when they said this one thing or why haven't they texted me back within 33 seconds of me texting them? My challenge to you is don't overthink things. Be cool, relax. Calm down. Keep it simple. Treat them like you would any of your other friends. And I know that that's probably hard.

Well you say, well, I love them, I care about them, I I I I have feelings for them. My challenge is to you is this, keep it super simple. Number three, minimize your baggage. The less you do with the person physically, the less you the less of yourself you're giving them and the better off you're going to be if it doesn't work out. Number four, move on. If it doesn't work out, it's not The end of the world. Not

Less of a person. You're not unlovable. And I know that sometimes you may feel that. Sometimes you may feel, well, you know, if if Bobby doesn't love me, you know, nobody's ever gonna love me. And only Bobby can accept me for how I am, and only Susie understands. that that I'm this and that type of person and and God forbid that we break up because no other person is gonna take a chance on me. That's not it.

Okay? It's not how it's supposed to be. Move on. I promise someone else will come along and you will feel that same way again. Cut it off and move forward if it doesn't work. Don't keep hanging around for something and hoping for something that will last. It's not worth losing yourself and putting your life on hold, especially if you kept the relationship simple.

And I want to conclude with this. Guard your heart. Have fun. Get to know people. But most importantly, get to know yourself through these relationships. Discover who you are and who you are. God has made you to be with every head bowed and every head. If you haven't been really good at guarding your heart and you need to find your s and sometimes we find ourselves giving our heart away so easily and we often get hurt it's because

We we we give our hearts away so easily. If you want to commit to making sure that From here on out, we will focus on protecting our heart and guarding it. Or maybe today you've realized that you've been guarding your heart from the wrong things and you have Put up a wall and haven't let enough people in and maybe even importantly haven't let God in.

Today you want to let those walls and open up your heart to a relationship with God who loves you so deeply and died for you so that you can be in a loving relationship with Him. Tonight's your opportunity. Heavenly Father, we thank you for today, Lord. We thank you for what you're showing us. We thank you for what you're revealing to us, Lord, and we thank you because, Lord, above all, we know that we need to keep it simple.

Despite what what media says, despite what the world says about relationships, Lord, let us hold on to the truth of what you say in your word. Let us guard our hearts, Father God, for it is the wellspring of life, Lord Jesus. Let us keep it simple in everything that we do, Lord. Let us learn to hang out with groups and hang out with friends and really find out not only who we are, but who other people are as well. Father God, Lord, we pray that we will not be overthinkers.

Of situations that happen in our lives, Lord, and that most of all we will minimize the baggage that we have. In our lives as we enter into relationships, God, and that we will learn how, if the relationship doesn't last, to move on and accept things for how they are. Most importantly, we know, Heavenly Father, that you have an ultimate plan. our lives and we accept that plan and we want to live by that plan and we want to focus on that Lord Jesus. We love you.

Amen. The guys, we're gonna be over here. Uh the girls, if you want to go back uh in the back, we're gonna have uh smuggles. Okay?