¶ Migrant Workers' Love Story
The first time we met he had brought some chocolates and fruits for me , but I didn't get to shop anything for him . So when he came I gave him my meal . I had cooked mushroom curry and then I gave it to him in a plate and a spoon . The spoon there is big like a ladle in Nepal .
So he tells me that he threw away the plate but because he felt so loved towards the spoon that he has kept it . I think he still has it right . So she's asking him whether he still has the spoon . Yes , I still have it .
Hi everyone . This is Marty Logan . Welcome to Nepal Now On the Move , the podcast where we talk with some of the huge numbers of people who are leaving this country every day , but also to the few who make the return trip to settle in their homeland . Today we're back with another personal story , two in fact , those of Raj and Sunita .
I gotta admit , what I like about this story is the romance element , which is something we haven't heard from other guests so far . What they told us when we recorded in the Akerab studio in Chakupat , patan , was that they were both working in Persian Gulf countries when a colleague suggested that they become Facebook friends .
Sunita and Raj then chatted online for three years before finally meeting . You'll have to keep listening to get the full story , but it does include chocolate , flowers and a very large spoon . I'm having fun with this story , but I want to be clear about something it's not a fairy tale .
Yes , Sunita and Raj found one another in what would seem like unusual circumstances to many of us , but there are millions of labour migrants worldwide , so I'm sure that many , many couples come together like Raj and Sunita while working abroad . Meanwhile , they experience life as migrant workers , the shock of living in a foreign country .
Shock of living in a foreign country without their language , food , customs and , especially , family , a family they might not get to see for years . They might face discrimination or mental , physical and even sexual abuse , and there's a chance that somewhere along the way , someone will try to cheat them out of their hard-earned money .
What I'm trying to say is that a migrant worker's life is difficult , one that few people would choose if they had options , but except in the most extreme , harsh circumstances , their lives are multifaceted , like all of ours , and include pain , joy and , yes , romance , and I hope this episode reveals a more fully rounded portrait of two migrants' lives , raj and
Sunita . Welcome to Nepal Now . Podcast . Raj and Sunita , welcome to Nepal Now . Podcast . Welcome to Nepal Now Podcast . Rajra Sunita , you are welcome to Nepal Now Podcast . I am welcome , thank you .
Thank you too .
Well , we're here today to talk about mainly your plans to go work overseas , but first , before we talk about migration and your personal migration stories , let's talk a little bit about your backstory , your histories . So I want to know where you were born , where you grew up , both of you . So maybe we can start with Sunita .
I was born in Hetoda and there have been a lot of difficulties in my life since I was born . I didn't get to study when I was 13, . I went to Kuwait for the first time as a 21 year old , so I faced a lot of hardship in my life , but now it's a bit okay .
I got married and now my husband's home is in Cabri , so my husband's family is relatively a little bit off . But in my own home I still have to look after my family . I have my brothers , but still I do all the handling . My father died last year , so it's almost two years now , but still I have to look after everything over there .
¶ A darker side of migration from Nepal
I'm very surprised to hear you say that you went to Kuwait when you were 13 , but you passed as a 21-year-old . How did that happen ?
So usually what happens is when we make our citizen certificate , we increase our age , right . So that's what I did when I was 13 . I made my citizenship as a 20-year-old . Why I had to go was because my family , my parents , was in a very miserable condition .
My brothers , my big brothers , small brothers they didn't do anything , and it was such a struggle that I had to go . I had no option left but to go abroad in that young age .
I'm so surprised , and I think you must be very strong to have lived through that experience , so I don't really want to say congratulations . But that's very good on you that you , you did that and and you're , you know you're , we're here talking , I think .
So over to Raj , let's hear a little bit about your story where you were born , grew up , that kind of thing .
So I was born in Kabre , Namobudda 2 . My family life was also hard . I saw hardships since I was a little , but especially when my mom died when I was in grade 9 . After that , our life became really difficult .
Okay , and were you going to school until that time , until grade 9 ?
So I studied up to grade 11 . I did my SAE school certificate from the village and came to Kathmandu but I couldn't study because it was so hard . And then I stayed in Kathmandu for three , four years and then went abroad . It was not an easy life . So what I've understood is that life is struggle .
And so when you came here , you finished your schooling and you started working for a few years . Then you went abroad . What kind of work were you doing here before you went overseas ?
I didn't really work . in Kathmandu I didn't get to study like I already said . But I just stayed here in Kathmandu for three , four years and then went to Saudi . I stayed in Saudi for four years and then I came back but then .
I had to go back again because I had invested in something the money that I brought back from Saudi but it all went to loss like the business didn't run , so I had to go back again .
And then Sunita, you said you went to Kuwait . No , but I , if I am not mistaken , you met in Saudi , the two of you or no ? How did you meet ?
Yes , I was in Kuwait but then I came back to Nepal and then we went to Saudi again . We talked online , online for three years and then we met and ours was a love marries okay , so Sunita comes back from Kuwait yeah and then you had to go back to work because you needed a job , you needed to earn some money .
When you came back the first time , did you think maybe you could stay in Nepal and find work here ? Did you try to earn enough money here before going to Saudi ?
So I came back to Nepal . But what would I do in Nepal ? I had to look after my parents , so I went back abroad . When I was in Kuwait , things were not like this . Now there are phones , there's Wi-Fi and we can connect . But the first time I went there it was so difficult , like I couldn't even talk to my parents .
If I had to talk to them , then I needed to use the madam's phone .
Okay . So then you came home and then you decided you needed to go back and work . So you got another contract , this time in Saudi , saudi Arabia , right .
First time I went to Kuwait and stayed there for three years , then came back and stayed in Nepal for seven months and then I went to Qatar . So in Qatar , by my good luck or something , I had a Kerala madam when I was in Qatar .
Sorry , you mean someone from Kerala , a woman from Kerala in India ?
So she said that her madam was really good . She understood by her facial expressions when she was in pain or in need of money and she would always say , ok , it's not your salary time , but you can take this money as advance and then pay me back later . And she was so good I was really happy with her . She calls me even now .
My mom had uterine cancer so I had to send all the money back home and I didn't have any savings , even in Qatar . So after staying four years in Qatar , I came back home , but again , like my family was the same , there was no support and I had to go back again and this time I went to Saudi . I met my husband .
We talked for three years but sadly my father died . He died on 19th 18th and I came back to Nepal on 19th . I thought I would at least see the body of my father , even if I couldn't meet him , but they had already cremated him when I came back .
Finally , the two of you were in Saudi Arabia and you said you talked online a lot , but how did you actually like the first time you made contact ? Was it online , like Facebook , or did you actually meet in person the very first ?
The first time we met , actually , we had a mutual connection . A sister that I knew also worked with this company . So they said that , oh , I know this person and they tried to set us up and we were like , oh , what happens if we only chat and become Facebook friends ? It's harmless . So we actually added each other and then now we are here .
We are now actually husband and wife . We talked for three years and now we've already been married for two years . So that's how we connected .
Okay , that's great , but I still want to know a few more details . Okay , first , you talked by Facebook . How long before you actually met one another face-to-face ?
So we continued talking online for two years and then it was my time to go back to Nepal and then , fortunately , they had my ticket and en route Dhamam to Nepal . So I went to Dhamam and that's where we met for the first time . I stayed in Dhamam for two years and then two days and then flew back to Nepal . Yeah , so he stayed in Aparva .
Then it took a whole day for him to reach Dhamam that's where I worked . But But at that point , after two years , you knew you wanted to meet her , not like a friend or like a friend . You must know after two years that you feel more than chatting friends, no ?
It was nice , it was good , it was all good .
Let's say it was all good and then , after a year of chatting , I had told my family that there's this girl that I'm talking with . That's what he said , and she's saying . The first time when we met in Saudi , it's not allowed for men and women to meet or even show faces , right ?
So when he came to my company , he stayed in a different room , a chamber , I stayed in a different chamber , and that's how we talked . So that was the first time how we met . Oh wow , that's a very different meeting . The first time we met he had brought some chocolates and fruits for me , but I didn't get to shop anything for him .
So when he came I had cooked mushroom curry and then I gave it to him in a plate and a spoon . The spoon there is big like a ladle in Nepal . So he tells me that he threw away the plate but because he felt so loved towards the spoon that he has kept it and I think he still has it right . So she's asking him whether he still has the spoon .
Yes , I still has it right so she's asking him whether he still has the spoon . Yeah , yes , I still have it okay , and then did you ?
did you leave together , like , did you quit your , finish your working at the same time or no ?
no , we came back on different times . She came after one and a half years of me coming to Nepal .
After you both returned here , you're both in Nepal . Did you know then you were going to get married ? Was that already the plan ?
So we had already planned it long back when we were in Saudi . He had already informed his family that I have this girl over here . So when we came to Nepal because we had already decided that we will get married so there's this thing called Kutumba in Tamang .
They look at whether the girl and boy's caste within the Tamang community matches or not , and so , it had already been said , I came back to Nepal when my father died and after we finished all his funeral rites , then we got married .
And how long ago was that now ?
We've been married for two years and that's , I think , think how long I've had my tumor to write . So I apparently have a tumor on both sides of my uterus , so we didn't know if I could conceive or not , but now I'm pregnant . I'm actually two months pregnant , but I'm still in pain .
But here we are .
Well , congratulations . Thank you for coming . I didn't know that you had this obstacle , otherwise I might have said like we'll do it another time or something . So thank you very much for coming . This is a big news and very important thing for your family that you're pregnant .
¶ Seeking a new opportunity abroad
When we talked Raj , you said that you had started the process to go work in South Korea . I think that day we talked you had just finished your first exam , and then I think you mentioned also that Sunita was also planning to go to South Korea , that Sunita was also planning to go to South Korea .
So can you explain that and update me on what your plan is now in terms of staying in the country or going to work ?
It's only me who is planning to go to South Korea ? I have an exam in December . Let's see whether I'll pass it or not . If I do , then I'm I will go there , but it's just me , not Sunita , at the moment .
And so the exam is it a language exam or something Language exam ? And how's your Korean now ? Can you speak or just understand ? Or how is it Just understand ? Do you want to practice now ? That's okay , we don't understand anyway , so no need . If you succeed in passing your exam , you go to Korea .
Why do you want to go to Korea instead of Saudi or Malaysia or somewhere else ? Saudi or Malaysia or somewhere else , oh Saudi Korea is relatively better than other countries .
We can also earn a little bit more , so let's say it's better than Gulf countries .
And would the work be different than what you did in the Gulf countries ? The type ?
of work In Saudi , I went as a driver In Korea . It's a manufacturing job in a company so I don't know what I'll have to do .
And I might have got this detail wrong also , but I think you told me when we talked before that if you succeed and get this working visa for Korea , it's for 10 years .
Before it was five years , but now it's been 10 years of visa .
So you could be living and working in Korea for 10 years .
It's possible , I have to . I don't see anything in Nepal .
It's very hard to find a decent job here , so I have to .
Let's say you could do the same kind of job that you're doing in South Korea . So let's say in South Korea you're working in a company making doors . Let's just say , for example , if you could find the same job here in Nepal , also making doors , would you stay in Nepal to do the job or would you still go overseas ?
Obviously I would go out , because in Nepal there's no earning .
So even if you could get a job here , the money would just be much , much less than in South Korea or another country .
The money is the least in .
Nepal , in Gulf countries it's okay , but some people earn really a lot .
But in South Korea it's much better .
If I could , I would go to other big countries better .
If I could , I would go to other big countries , and how do you feel if he goes away and you're staying here with your children ?
let's say , how do you feel ?
about him not being around . It's okay , I don't have any problem , I've planned that once he goes abroad , then I'm not going to stay in Kathmandu , I'm going to go back to Kabri . There also they have private boarding schools , there are bus and everything . Here I will be all alone but there I have family .
There are some people who say that by not providing jobs for the people , the young people especially , the Nepal government is not living up to its promises , is not doing a good job . To put it simply , how do you feel about the fact that you have to leave the country to earn your living ? Is that okay , or are you sad or angry , or how do you ?
feel about that Of course it feels really sad , really bad , that I have to leave my country , that I have to live apart with my family . It's really bad like so many young people are sacrificing their lives to earn some money abroad . And it's , the situation out there is so bad , like recently in Dubai .
They sentenced somebody , a Nepali , to death and they've appealed so much to be saved . But how can his father collect two crore within a week ? It's not simply possible In Kuwait , for example . If my partner , if my friend , is sick , I cannot even touch her . So the situation is so bad out there . But we have no other option .
No parent , no father or mother , wants to send their children to such a dire situation . But we have no other option . We have to send them . And the situation in those countries is not like here . That's not our home , that's not our country . So it's really bad , but we have no option other than to go in such a bad situation .
But we have no option other than to go in such a bad situation . If our government could even provide a job which pays 30,000 regularly , monthly , then we wouldn't have to go .
but there's no such job out here , Okay , last question Do either of you have any friends or anyone in your family , young people like you , who manage to make a living here in Nepal , who have a good job working in Nepal ?
We have nobody in either side of our family who has a good job or earning good money . Everybody is outside His family . Even his uncles are still working abroad . Not even in our friend circle , even our whole village . Most of them are abroad . So we don't know anybody who has a good job and income in Nepal and who's staying in Nepal .
OK , we have to end it there . The time is up . Thank you again very , very much for doing this . I really appreciate it and best of luck to both of you and your family . I hope your family is very big with your work , with your life in general , thank you .
Thank you to Hima Rai , whose voice and laugh you heard throughout this episode and who did an amazing job of interpreting from Nepali . Thanks again to the Association of Community Radio Broadcasters of Nepal for the use of their studio .
¶ Feedback and Stories for Nepal Now
Please let me know what you thought of this episode . Please let me know what you thought of this episode . Email me at napalnowpod at gmailcom , or message the show at napalnowpod on Instagram , linkedin , youtube or Facebook . Send us a text by clicking on the link at the top of the episode description .
If you know any migration couples , tell us about their stories . Next week , you'll hear a new micro-episode of Nepal Now , right Now . Do you know any migration couples ? Tell us about their stories . Next week you'll hear a new micro episode of Nepal Now , right Now , with updates about the show and about migration's impact on Nepal . I'll talk to you then .
Thank you .