Neon Inkwell: Broken Hearted Monsters 5 - podcast episode cover

Neon Inkwell: Broken Hearted Monsters 5

Apr 11, 202514 minSeason 4Ep. 5
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Summary

Frank returns home with Dracula to a less than warm welcome, facing family tensions and unresolved issues with his brother Purphy. Past resentments resurface as Dracula tries to navigate the family's complicated dynamics, leading to confrontations and emotional outbursts. Camilla's appearance adds another layer to the already complex relationships.

Episode description

The Perfect Man is not what Dracula expected. Frank tries to deal with his feelings.


Content Notes:

  • Grief
  • Breakups
  • Arguments/Hostility
  • Parental Abuse/Neglect
  • Harsh Language
  • Smoking
  • Mentions of: Homophobia
  • SFX: Monster Sounds

Transcripts: https://shorturl.at/pJQV7 


Showrunner Elizabeth Moffatt

Directed by Amani Zardoe

Written by SC Ormond and Morgan Ormond

Script Editor Armani Zardoe

Produced by April Sumner

Executive Producers Alexander J Newall & April Sumner


Featuring

Marqus Bobesich as Frank

Kai Partenie as Dracula

Evelyn McCauley as Esme

Alister Cado as The Perfect Man

Tedd Hazard as George

Beth Eyre as Camilla


Dialogue Editor – Nico Vettese

Sound Designer - Tessa Vroom

Mastering Editor - Catherine Rinella and Meg McKellar

Music by Nico Vettese 

Art by Guerrilla Communications


SFX from Soundly and previously credited artists


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Transcript

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Some things are too good to be true. The Specsaver's too good deal isn't. Get two pairs of glasses for £70. Include single-vision lenses to the same prescription. Conditions apply. Ask in store for details. Quill Presents Brokenhearted Monsters The road to hell. The big city hasn't changed you one bit, eh, bud? You don't know anything about me. I know you're still blaming mom for all your problems. I'm a big girl, Purphy. I know I wasn't the best.

mother in the world. No, you were a good mom. I was just trying to say that, you know, we need to be able to have conversations, like adults and stuff. Hmm, interesting. These adults, they scream Can you mind your own business for once in your life, the perfect man? Actually, I go by Purphy now. What? I don't go by the perfect man anymore. It's just Purphy Frankenstein. That's stupid. I'm not... Noun?

I want you boys to get along this weekend. I'll not have a repeat of what happened at Grandma Shirley's funeral. What happened at Grandma Shirley's funeral? You must be Dracula. Yep, so lovely to finally meet you. Frank has told mom so much about you. Frank and I got in a little row at the funeral and interrupted the demon summoning ceremony. You threw me off the castle roof! Have you any brothers, Dracula? I land-

On the cotton candy stand! Uh, I did. A very long time ago. I'm sorry to hear that. You elbow dropped my head! Right off! It is okay. They lived full human lives. We never really saw eye to eye, though. Was it the gay thing, or- The unholy abomination thing. Sorry? That was way too personal, right? No, it is fine. It was both. I do not think they were capable of separating one from the other. I'm sorry, Dracula. Navigating the resentment... of those we love is one of life's greatest challenges.

I'm gonna go grab the bags from the car. Oh, here, let me help. I got him. I'm just trying to help, Frank. I don't want your help. Frank! Frank, no rampaging. It's fine. Just be careful of the invisible children. I'm not bandaging. I'm just getting the best. Whoa, what's wrong, Frank? Did they cancel the drag race? Perfect. Did you pick up the raisins? Uh, no. Nope. I came down the back road. Malik is going to pick them up on his way here. If my dead man's stuffing is ruined...

On your head, be it. Trust in the boy, mother. Trust. Okay, Dracula, how was the trip? Did you see the big teapot? Um, why are we acting like everything is normal? Because it is. Frank just raged off towards a room of seniors and invisible children. Didn't you date him for like six years?

Yes, and at no point did I normalize this nonsense. In fact, we broke up because of shit exactly like this. Oh, don't worry about it, honey. The boys are always like this when they're together. Purphy will put Frankie through a wall later, and he'll calm down. down. And everything starts to make sense. Okay, I need you both out of the kitchen. I got an Oklahoma octopus coming out of the oven and it's gonna be thrashing. Come on, Dracula. Let's get out of the...

pin. It's not his fault, you know, that he's like this. I think it might be a little his fault. Look, I don't know what Frank has told you. I'm sure you're well aware, but growing up in this house... tough for all of us it was hardest on Frank though so we cut him a little slack you know that was you cutting him some slack all his body parts are still attached aren't they you to really fight that much I put Frank in his place when he gets out of control

Have you ever tried talking to him instead of beating his ass? You know what he's like when he loses control. There's no talking to him. What about the rest of the time? Look, you seem nice, Dracula. I'm super pumped to have you here. I really am. But if you think you're going to waltz into this family and fix us all in a weekend, you're wasting your time. It has been 20 years since you saw Frank last. And? Maybe he has changed. Is he? I don't know. Maybe. Yeah, well, some things never change.

We'll always be a broken family, built by a cruel man for the dumbest of reasons. Loneliness? Science. I need to clear my head, Murphy. Is there a place I can go to smoke? Patio behind you is where Frank used to smoke. He thought he was alone. Frank does not smoke. Good for him. Right. Hello, Dracula. Camilla? What are you doing here? Smoking. Communing with the birds. No, I mean, what are you doing here in Pennsylvania? At Frank's castle? I think so.

somebody died Frank said none of the gang would be here Frank said a lot of things He's a real chatty Cathy. You used to like that about him. God, it is infuriating talking to you. Here, let me. Frank called me a few days ago. He thought you might need a friend. The nerve of that man. Go easy on the big log. His heart is in the right place. The rest of the organs, however... I'm sorry I missed your wedding. It's okay. You were going through some stuff.

Still, I should have been there. Yes, you should. But I understand. Does she make you happy? She does. Good. I met some of the family on the way here. How'd it go? The usual. They begged me to cheer up and remove the dagger of anguish from their heart. That sort of thing. Wow. Love that for you. You know, for as long as we have known each other, you have never once bothered me about that stuff.

Maybe I was spared the bond because I was the first. Or maybe I feel it more than all the rest and simply choose not to bring it up. Was it always this small? Welcome home, Frankie. Oh, Mom. You kept my room exactly the same. Your dad wanted to turn it into a gym, but I put my foot down. Just in case I came home? There was no just-in-case about it. I knew you'd be back. Besides, you can't build bodies and also be a bodybuilder. It's too confusing.

Mom, I wanted to... Hey, Frank. Oh, hey, Mom. Everything all right, baby? Yeah, no, I was just hoping to catch Frank before he goes back downstairs. It's cool, though. We can chat later. Oh, let me get out of your way. I'm sure you have a lot to talk about. No. Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of Mom. Really, dude? Yeah, I wanted to hear this. No fighting, you two. I'm not here to fight. I just wanted to clear the air. Really? Yeah, really. Okay, let's hear it. Yeah.

Okay, so you and I have a bit of... A history. You mean how you take every chance you get to show me up? I wouldn't put it like that. Oh. I'm sorry. Is there a more perfect way to put it? I know it's probably hard to believe for someone as insecure as you, but I've never been interested in showing you up, dude. Oh yeah? Oh yeah? What about this? Why are you waving a piece of cardboard trash in my face like it's a smoking gun?

This isn't trash. This is the Killer Corner 5000 wrestling ring sent back from a far-flung future where all conflicts are resolved in the square. Right, exactly. I made this out of cereal boxes and sticky tape. Literally the next day, you carved a wrestling ring out of wood, hand-painted it, and called it the Kilocorner 6000. It was sent back from an even farther-flung future. Dude, I made that for you so you would hang out with me. I don't even like wrestling.

Oh my god! It all comes out! Why are all of you squeezed into this tiny room? The boys were just clear in the air before dinner. Weren't you boys? He just admitted it, Dracula. He pretended to like wrestling just to torture me. What are you talking about? You are obsessed with being better than me. Your brother just wants to play with you, Frankie, that's all. No, Ma.

You don't see. He manipulates everyone with his perfect words and perfect face. Can you see what I'm dealing with, Dracula? I told you there was no use. You told him? You told him? Why are you telling him anything? Dracula and I had a little heart-to-heart about your behavior earlier. Oh, it wasn't really like that. My behavior? My behavior? Yeah, you know, like how you act and treat people.

Actually, Purphy, my point was that maybe Frank would not be like this if someone was not kicking the shit out of him every time he got emotional. And my point was that no good would come of you sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong. Purphy! Do not speak to our guests like that. Why are you even here, Dracula? You're not dating my brother anymore. you're not part of this family. Perfect. You really want to do this, Frank?

You want me to kick your ass in front of your ex-boyfriend? Hey, you can't fight in here. You will crush your mother. Don't worry, Dracula. I'm taking this outside. Esme. Oh my god. Are you hurt? I'm fine. I'm fine. I cannot believe that just happened. You couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? I was just trying to help. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, Nosferatu. Hello? Did we have a little family bus stop?

I was just trying to help. If therapy was easy, they wouldn't charge $200 an hour for it. Camilla. Wouldn't you rather they got it out of their system now instead of waiting for the middle of the funeral? Camilla, please. What do you need Dark Lord? I need you to show me how to book a flight to California on the computer. This series is written and created by Shane and Morgan Ormond and script.

This episode was edited by Nico Vitesse, Catherine Seaton, Tessa Vroom, Meg McKellar, and Catherine Brunella, with music from Nico Vitesse. It featured Kai Partenia as Dracula, Marcus Bobicic as Frank, Evelyn McCauley as Esme, Alistair... with additional voices from Ash Kelly, Ted Hazard, Paul Kondarian, Philomena Sherwood, Shahan Hamza, and Karim Crumfley. Neon Inqual is produced by April Sumner with executive producer Alexander J. Newman.

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