The Uncomfortable Conversation with Black Men

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Welcome home, y'all. What's going on?

Andrew Gillim, I guess it's just me and you today. How you feeling?

I heard it was gonna be a couple of us today.

Well tell you well, you and you and I here in Atlanta.

Let's get it. Let me let me read this exactly as it's written a verse and then we can get into the show is a pro y'all. This is episode Native Lampod where we give you all our things, our breakdown of politics and culture. I am your host, Lakari Sellers today.

Oh there she is another host. Look at she's joining U, y'all.

He mom, how you feel? So we have Andrew Gillam of course to my left in Atlanta with me, and then we had the incomparable amazed, rable, beautiful. Ya eyebrows look good too.

I'm gonna compliment you on the red red.

Works for you.

For us. Look at that Angela raie. So I want to say first, we had an amazing live show last night.

I was a shout out to the people in Atlanta as well as those who traveled. I met a young lady I think a number of us did, who flew from Miami. She and a colleague of hers, and then she bought two more people who live in Atlanta along with her to the show last night. And I said, you came up, you came visit it. No, I heard y'all were gonna be here, and so I came.

I'm a supporter.

I listened, and I regret that I'm not recalling her name at the moment, but just thank y'all.

Thank y'all so much.

Well every time. Time is the most valuable thing that we had. There were a lot of people who spent time with us last night we had the building was almost packed in Wanery. Yeah. I just appreciated the camaraderie.

And the City Wannery staff who were all incredible. And to their chef who made some.

It was they ain't had no broccoli, they had b It was brock had the whole the whole thing. Yeah. So a lot of people were asking about you, Angela RII.

Yeah, so I'm sorry, Yeah.

Feeling how you feeling? What's going on?

I think most importantly we're just checking out how my dad is feeling. He had to go through like a stint procedure, and they opted not to do the stint, so now he's got some other cardio things to work through. And I think we've all talked about on this show just aging with aging parents is not for the faint of heart.

But I would not have it any other way. Our brother Leonard told me the other day.

He was like, I would prefer getting older, and I think that that's a good perspective to have. So I would share a video with all of you in the audience. But my dad didn't have his hat on, and he can be a little vain. His hair was sticking up, and all he wanted was some chicken wings when he could finally eat. So he is supposed to be discharged later today. Of course we're recording Wednesday, but hopefully all

Well, Angela, just know that at the start we had a collective prayer for you and your father joined.

I'm glad watched.

Because she's a little bit invested.

I did not idea how do we do? You guys did great.

I didn't like the lighting, which is not a U problem, but and I'm actually surprised Andrew didn't say anything.

He's normally the chief among us on lighting.

I didn't see, I am I got issues about the lighting today, but I did.

See, uh the lighting in there too. I'm looking at the top of y'all's heads.

Well you're looking at the tope of mind for sure.

Well, if you look at the top of my head, this is rucker roots. Shout out just I'm hooking up Jordan right now, who's one of our producers with some rucker roots. I don't miss a beat, Ellen, I don't miss a beat.

Good job, because you better, you better throw a promo in there. We could always use some more ads on this show, so we'll take a pro bono one for now.

Just to my bad y'all, a special thanks and appreciation for for for our sister Tiffany, who at the drop of the.

Hat to your call.

Yeah, they didn't even wait for me. Latasha and tiff and head.

I don't even know if you I don't know if you got the phone call, but I got a phone call that said he did he didn't going to talk to Angela. Yeah, that's right, he didn't pick up. Latasha's going to talk to Angela. Tiffany's going to do the show.

I said, okay, all right, and and the audience was overjoyed.

We actually had a person bring her a gift.

She did get a gift, and I actually have the card from the gift, and the card was written to this all of us, the host of Native lampod and did he write basically, he just you know. We said to the host, you're included.

Oh my god. That's emotional for me.

It was kind of him, and he said that this show has changed his life. And we had a number of first timers who were in the audience last night, thanks to normal regular family members.

Native lampod family members.

Inviting friends, and there was so many of them who came up Angela at the end and said, this was my first time hearing and I cannot believe I have missed x x x number of episodes. I'm on, I'm hooked, I'm subscribing, so on and so forth.

So yeah, really beautiful.

Yeah, and we had we had fun and we spent time at the end. If you come to a Native Land show, trust me, we're gonna stay until the last person leaves the building. So we didn't get a chance last night per se to do FYSA, but we're gonna hop into it right now. And I just want to start with Pete. What's his last name? What's his real last seth? Hey, I can't I can they get on me about not being able to run.

I thought it was deliberate, was to let me find out.

I don't know. I think my getting away that's what Ellen said.

Jesus, I'm sorry here with you guys are about to get dragged.

You know this is the wrong time to be playing like you better hope they just cut that out, because why that was good the way the way. No, it's it's not it's not Ellen, It's not you the way these people out here on heads canceling.

We get there.

Okay, okay, okay, let me read, let me exactly to speed ag uring a Pentagon prayer breakfast last Wednesday, secretary or Pete Haig seth ready a fake Bible verse.

It was actually from perfect.

Roll that love it.

So the prayer is Ceesar twenty five seventeen, and it reads, and pray with me please the path of the down aviator and is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of camaraderie and duty the lost the valley of darkness.

For he is truly his brother's keeper darkness.

And the finder lost children. And I will strike down upon them with great vengeance and furious And those who attempt and destroy my brother, you will know my call sign those who Sandy won.

When I lay my vengeance.

Brothers upon and you will know my name is the law when I lay my.

Vengeance upon the first of all, can we just acknowledge and shout out Samuel L.

Jackson's Jerry Kerwe.

Pete Hegg said, should have borrowed it for his re enactment of pulp fiction.

He didn't know, Angela, I know, but you know what, I want to shout out hit the staffer because there is a staffer who.

Set them up.

His staffer. His staff hates him because his staff was like, watch.

This, that was the know what book in the Bible is? I don't know what book that is. It's not in there, he says, chapter No, it's not stopped.

After inviting them to please pray with me, but they did it.

So my issue is with all these slave catches out there, because what are they doing? Like, why were they all like what?

He does this every week?

He does every week since the war. He's he holds an I.

Said, I wanted to send you all a clip of the dude again, don't don't.

Don't send it now because let me just tell you what it is. Let me tell you where we're nine minutes in thank you.

This is related.

So Piers Morgan, there was a guy that came on Piers Morgan. It was uh ygd I think did this Ali Hey?

Did his name? Anyway? He was on Piers Morgan with Pete Haig. Seth's pastor look like the guy.

The guy, he was like, don't you can't call you so passing no more?

He hit and he dragged him and he's like, you're the reason Pete haig Seth is doing this, and then went on to tell him all the reasons why he wasn't a real Christian.

It was magical. So if y'all have whoa, yeah.

That's out the clip.

Let's roll it real quick, real quick quick.

It's very good.

I have no problem attacking wolves in sheep's clothing. I have no problem attacking a man who wrote that American slavery was mutually harmonious between the slave master and the slave.

That's you.

I have no problem attacking a man who probably says he wants to do away with the nineteenth Amendment which gave women the right to vote. I have no problem attacking a man like yourself who sits here incoherently supporting an incoherent, unwinnable illegal war and Iran. I have no problem attacking you a man who is the religious leader of Pete Hegseth, A man who's a cosplay crusader who's

I wish you would be a better Christian. I wish you would open up the Bible.

I wish you would meet the Jesus that I met when I went to an all boy Jesuit Catholic high school, the Jesus that took care of the sick, that took care of the poor, that welcomed the immigrant, that welcomed the marginalized, that help them. But instead you've used Jesus as a mascot for I don't know, your white Christian supremacy.

Just sit with them.

Maybe both of you could read the Constitution, read the Bible, and just take a break.

Pastor just take a break.

Yeah who less, sorry just to say your responds. Just incidentally, we know that Jesus was not a socialist because he could actually feed people.

Wonderful great response.

Next, Well, anyway, let's go to let's go to Troy Neil's real quick while we're on this conversation.

I believe that Donald Trump is uh is better than sliced bread. I think he's he's he's almost a second coming. In my humble opinion. I think he's done a fantastic job. He's got a very difficult job. Pope's got a tough job. You don't got issues in the church, but Donald Trump is a very, very difficult job to do, the toughest job in the world.

I just want to say that I had a widow's peak that was strong like that when I was younger, and I wish somebody would fade him up.

His widow's peak goes all the way down here. So who's got a tough job, widow?

I just think. I just think that people who are like you know, men in Congress who are five six, five to seven, have a very difficult job. And he is, he's he's going to struggle through it. You know, those five six, five seven men out there. We shot it and shot you out.

He's he's a he is a small man.

And it ain't because of how literally literally is that because of his verticals that I don't know how anybody fixes their lips and makes their heart and their mind congruent with his words. I don't know if it's an act anymore with these guys, because I think I'm pretty much now convinced that if it's not an act, that they may be the stupidest people that walks the face.

Of the earth. Well you know who's not. As Raphael Warnock and I wanted to, I want to in the in the order that we played it. I wanted us to be able to see the scripture as they see it versus the scripture as we see it. And Senator Rafael Warnock, who still works on Sunday mornings here not far from.

Just quick correction, But Pope, fiction is not that that's called script script for a movie.

They confuse it with scripture.

I don't know what pete, pete doing. U let's play. Let's play, Rafael Warknox sermon to get us on point.

Here, when the man who holds the highest office in the land has been confirmed by a court verdict to be a sexual abuser, that he could be heard on Tate bragging about being a sexual abuser. We knew all of that before he got elected the first time, and yet there are Christians who will surround him this morning and talk like he's the second Coming.

Something's wrong with us. We need to be healed.

We need to be healed. All of the nonsense around the Epstein files, a cabale of awfulness and privilege and power with all kinds of nameless victims, and that being tate played out on both sides of the Atlante. And they're those who are turning into a political game. This is not about politics. This is about those who suffer and cannot be seen and their voices are not heard.

And I dropped by this morning to tell.

You that God is not pleased with that.

Little thing. Lord. That's Raphael Warnock preaching from the same poolpit that doctor mar Luther King Junior preach from Ebenez, a Baptist church not far from where we're sitting right now. I think that, first of all, I mean in terms of politics, which he said we're not we should not be focused on, particularly on that moment. I always consider him to be a dark horse for president of the United States. I think people would fear that. I think

To lose what you just said. We may need the minipod on that one that I had not. I hadn't thought about it, so I just want to put a pin in it. Becare for future or conversation. But clearly we see exhibited there what a real moral religious faith leader looks. Sounds like how he comports himself. But it didn't take too much effort to see the difference between that one and what came before him.

You know. One of the things that we can also say is that scripture doesn't necessarily follow the politic or the policy of some even in deep re at Ruby States, I wanted to throw this up about Louisiana, and there is a state House bill that's advanced that would force unhoused people to choose between jail or a treatment program. If they choose treatment, they have to pay for it themselves, and if they can't afford to pay, they'll be forced

I wish we had somebody from down there to talk about this. We will have a person in mind.

Yeah, yeah, he's coming on. Yeah, well let's let's put a pin in that for sure. And I asked Gary about it. One of the things we've been preaching about. And I give I think people should give Angela Raie a lot of credit for this, but the Save Act there has been something that's been on our mind and the tip of right tongue for a long time. And John Thune recently it's come to our attention that the leader of the Senate, the Senate Majlated Yes. The tweet

There's an oddity to it, but I get it.

Yeah, a paradox, it's a paradox.

It's a paradox.

Yeah, let's let's look at Tucker Calls and I see if he had the same Jesus meeting the rest of us had at birth.

So looking back being because I mean you and I and everyone else who supported him. He wrote speeches for him, I campaigned for him. I mean, we're implicated in this for sure. Yes, it's not enough to say well I changed my mind, or like, oh this is bad, I'm out. It's like in very small ways, but in real ways, you and me and millions of people like us are the reason this is happening right now. Yes, so I do think it's like a moment to wrestle with our

I will be.

And I want to say I'm sorry for misleading people. It was not intentional, That's all I say. But anyway, but the question does present a self im mediate like what is this? Was this always the plan? You don't want to be a conspiracy nut, but like, clear there were signs of low character we need Clearly there signs of tons of people of low character who like perform their character.

It doesn't have to be.

Sort of the norm. Actually, these days I've outperformed.

My character a lot.

You know, I'm sorry.

I just I've already dragged Tucker Cross and for filth. But I just want to say this again to you, Tucker, this is why you have aged like spoiled milk, because you have you knew what you were doing. You can't say clearly there were signs of like character flaws and then say I'm sorry, like it's too late for I'm sorry, Like you need to do a hell of a lot more than I'm sorry. You need to be at the

And you know what else you need to have.

You need to have a DEI program for life, never to be relieved of said DEI program. And you need to tell everybody that DEI does not mean didn't earn it. It means diversity, equity, and inclusion, and you need to lift up every diverse and inclusive higher that you make and show people how bad as they are. And then when you're done doing all that, do it again and

So I don't really care about his little floppy haired.

Apology because he does not mean it now when it comes to substance of issues that matter to us.

Sorry, I mean, I think you're right.

I just I just so.

I'm surprised that the general mainstream media didn't treat this like like it was the second coming, right, Tuckle Carlson did something.

It wasn't even a bleed, which tells me something.

One kudos to mainstream media for not giving this skit any real time or attention.

It really was. It was a skin.

It was badly played by the way because something so critical, which is basically you turning about face on the man, that you went out there in Seoul for ten years, not just last election, the one before that. Since the dissension on the on that Tachi escalator, he's been selling the American people this terrible bad dream nightmare, as if it was a wet dream. And now I don't know what was said or what was done. I don't even believe Angela that the that the the rift is about

He's not doing anything. He didn't say it was gonna do before.

By can I tell y'all really quick? So I was asking, uh, who who Tucker Carlson was talking to? They said it was Tucker Crofton's brother, Buckley Carlsson. Well, then I look up Buckley Carlson. He also has a son named Buckley Carlson. Did y'all know that his son worked as the deputy press secretary to JD Vance in the Senate Office.

No?

Yes, And because I don't think anybody who works for jd Vance actually likes jd Vance.

But here's the crazy part. They say that.

Now it'll be two days ago his son walked out of the office, and I don't know if that means he quit.

He quit?

Yeah, it was coming out little bit very like, yeah, yeah, they said, so that again some of the personal.

But I think this is being played out.

But it's easy to cast aside somebody who I tell everyone you were saying you were seeing the height of Donald Trump's whatever right now, because after twenty twenty six, when you are when you lose an election, as everybody predicts what happen, We've seen predictions go wrong and then you are pretty much a walking lane duck president. Other people start running for president, people will leave Donald Trump is because it's not Donald Trump, it's it's the proximity

Is just so they skipped over going after the groups themselves. Right And by the way, these are the same groups that under the last administration, under a bipartisan, non partisan intelligence community, the people who are responsible for collecting what are the greatest threats to the American people in the

Quentities that.

Terrorist efforts may be underway.

These people were decided not SBLC, but the people that they were trying to infiltrate. These people were decided to.

Be the number one threat to the American people period.

I think that it's important here. I know we have cash. But we also have the acting ag.

I believe it's Todd Blanche, and I think that it would be important to hear people hear him frame this issue.

So let's roll that clip.

I just want to make sure I understand you're alleging that the Southern Poverty Law Center was paying the leaders of KKK and other groups to continue their operations.

Is that I'm not alleging it.

The Grandeurary returning indictment that says that, and so what what the what the investigation found, according to the indictment that was returned today, is that they were paying So so the Southern Popery Law Center is raising money, asking folks to give them money to dismount racism, and over a very long period of time, they were using some of the money they raised from donors to pay to they call them field you know, basically to informants two

Okay, so they made that the SBOC did the work of the government.

Well, I think that what they're trying to do is gasight people into believing that Severn Southern Poverty Law Center, with the limited funding they have is funding white supremacist ideology and behavior that it's funding and yeah, and it's fun and it's funding racism.

We know that's not true.

Southern Poverty Law Center actually has a legendary hate map, hate watch tracker, and how they have been able to be so successful for the most part.

They've had some misses too.

For example, I think they had Until Freedom or some other group that Tamika Mallory was affiliated with on this. So they've had some misses. I'm not saying that their flawless, but on the hate map and the hate watch. The reason out they've been able to track work that's been done over time have precise dates around hate activity hate field activity is because they had people infiltrating these groups.

That was how they did this.

So the fact that they're now saying, oh, they actually were funding this work to ensure that racism continues, its ridiculous.

Quite the contrary, If the American government is so offended that they were funding this work, why would they jump skip hop over the organization that is then doing the work that they're so I mean.

Because right, we know that.

But fact, let's let's be extremely clear. What Todd Blinch and the Trump administration are doing is instead of indicting the KKK, they indict the group that is trying to stop the KKK. Yes, and I think that that we have to be extremely with our language about about how we're doing it. And I know that this is a very easy time to get down. But a lot like Papa Rai and our family people who have gone out and done the work is Louise Lucas, and she is

We didn't ask for this mess, but we're gonna finish this mess. So I'm being real kind with my words today. Okay, they started, We'll finish it. We would not be in this place if it had not been for Donald Trump and Hishi and had against it trying to get what he called five.

New seats that he was in the top of two.

He ain't entitled, so he's entitled anything, and what he what we are saying is that in order for us to try to level the playing field, Virginia's gonna play a pivotal role in this whole process, because when we go from a ten to one map, we would put us in a good proture for us to make sure that we pushed back on his power.

Graand so, and just to back into this for folks at home, there was a very important election on Tuesday in Virginia where there was a ballot initiative asking voters to change the a mid term change to the map the congressional and state legislative map. The state's redistrict and committee drew a map that gives Democrats a ten to one majority and favorability for them, which the voters approved. And so to Bakari's point, this state senator is now

Let me just tell you this. G eighty two good. She was born in nineteen forty four and she's been in office since nineteen ninety two.

I was.

Eight years old, so I know. We have a lot of conversations about age and politics and our elected officials force retirement. Yeah, but I'll take Louise Lucas over half.

We'll take Louise over ninety eight percent.

Can she beat it? Can she lead the House?

This?

But this is why I think we have forced retirement by the voters. Oh yeah, her constituents will decide when they are She got the.

Smartest constituents in America because they just send her back. They know what they're doing and listen, and she's done a great deal of good work. I know, we have one of our brothers who is going to join us.

Your favorite coming elected official one day, one day, we're putting it in there.

I mean, he doesn't run a few times, I know.

But your favorite coming is still coming.

Well.

The good thing about Gary too, that I think is so important is he doesn't just run for office. He also engages in civic engagement and instructing our people on their power. And so one of my favorite things he does is every election he tells people what voter turnout is looking like, what it is like in the black community, and he'll be like righteously angry about us showing up

Butkari brought that up earlier with that that clip, so is sure I will.

Want to saying no, we want to and we want to bring Gary Chambers on. Gary is a friend of the show. Gary has been around for a long time, and Gary has apparently the humility of a curry sellers.

Cause yeah, definitely himself right over himself, right, ask.

A question about the picture might have a special frame.

It's full full frame, right.

I hate somebody gave me Unfortunately, somebody gave me with those after I can't pay Forgevernor and my mama put it up in my house.

I think that is under the.

Bed to see some of these pictures that they've drawn to me, and I'm like, who is this actually?

Gary, tell us about the picture teacher the school teacher painted that for me.

I love that from Ohio.

I think.

I was like, it's wood, it's like on a wood, it's all wood, and so uh and in trinded me like two hundred of them in like God that I can put his yard signs for people.

I love it.

It's too beautiful not to have out. Really. I do feel some type of way sometimes about it being there, but it's.

Too especially when these two have something to say about I.

Mean, we're gonna move it to near the front door.

I know. I like the fact that it's squarely in the frame.

And all these all these reconstructed legislators too.

Yeah, you got yourself right up there with them. So, Gary, before we before we get it to the topic of the show, because we want to we want to go to s report pretty quickly. I did want to talk to you about the Louisiana State House bill that advanced that would force unhoused people to choose between jail and or or treatment program or rehab and if they can't pay for it, what's what what is going on down in Louisiana.

We have probably the most.

Insensitive, in iar moral leadership in the country here in Louisiana.

Jeff Landry is a man about gimmicks and props.

He's trying to figure out how does he get his way to be considered uh valuable as a presidential candidate for twenty twenty eight. And he does whatever he feels moves people to see him as the biggest conservative warrior in America. And he's got a legislature that he's whipped into submission to the degree that they just do.

Whatever it is that the government wants. And so.

These very inhumane people, these people don't care anything about the citizens of this state. They're bringing in billions of dollars in AI facilities. They're not taxing these people at the degree that they should so that you could provide housing for those that are unhoused, so that you can provide a livable ways for people so that they don't

We're just finding more ways to incarcerate people.

And we were already the most incarcerated place in the going and so Jeff is now added Trump's detainees through ice and now he's trying to take the people off the streets and put them basically in concentration camps.

He doesn't know anything that he can say no to as far as incarcerating people.

Let's go to Shreveport, Louisiana.

Nobody knows.

One of the things that moved me this week and moved a lot of us was one of our elected officials in Shreveport, Taylor. Yeah, Taba. That was yeah, who actually told us with all her heart and all her chest about the pain that that community is going through in regards to a lot of the violence that we're

What people think in the crevices of their mind.

To want to harm another human being, let alone that of children who have their whole life ahead of them. From what I've learned about this incident is that it's domestic in nature.

That makes it even more horrific. For all the fighting that we do as it relates to this. And maybe you can stand strong with this, but I can't without shedding tears of traumatic pain. I pain, and I grieve for this family. I grieve for the lives that are lost.

And I'm asking you to please utilize every resource that the sheriff has brought forth. Now when you know that these situations occur, we cannot be and make this a joke.

This is not a freaking joke. This is real and this is the result when someone snaps.

So I'm gonna ask the community, along with prayer, with every mental health consultant, counselor that is out here, This family and.

This community needs you.

I need you, because how do we get through this, how do we get to the next level?

It is real and this is raw, and these are the.

Tragedies when there are domestic violence or domestic disturbances in our community.

The names are Jala Elkins three, Shyla Elkins five, Caleb Pew six, Leila Pew seven, On Pew ten, Soriah Snow eleven, Carrot Darian, thank you, Kadarian Snow six, Braylin Snow five. The person responsible for the shooting, we won't say his name and the MHM relationships. Oh yeah, seven father their father, no.

No, seven of them. He was the father of seven of the kids.

Yeah. But I just wanted to make sure that people listening and watching know that we don't uplift We're not uplifting him in this moment. I wanted to give that space for the for us to be able to say their names and let them them rest in power. Last night we had a conversation, and I wanted to be able to make space for us to have a conversation about accountability for men who respond such as this with

Us talk hanted of Bland.

I'm isis. I'm from Detroit living in Georgia. Just attended the live show That's Why I'm in my Car. Tonight's discussion had some insight, but it was somewhat disappointing to see that in a time where black women are not surviving their relationships with black men, we are censoring black men's metal Black men's men to help is absolutely important. However, again,

Assaulted, stuctor, murdered by men.

And so.

We have to discuss that. That has to be the center of the conversation.

That while we all need to make things emotionally safe for each other, Black men need to make safe spaces for black.

Men and show emotions.

Black women need to make safe spaces for black women and show emotions. We all non binary people need to make safe spaces for each other. We have to make sure black women can survive relationships with black men. We haven't discussed intimate partner. We haven't discussed how men feel ownership over the wounds in our time a woman, and that is missing from this conversation.

Thank you.

She did come up last night, and I think if it was Tiffany or you or Lolo had the had the thought of mine immediate yeah, to say, hey, can you please record that? Can we put that in a question in a comment, because you know, we many of us have been triggered kind of differently by a lot of these defense you know, these events of late horrific events.

I was sharing last night with car how.

Heartbroken, despite how I knew Justin and and the ways in which we worked together, I was most angry about him robbing the children not only of his presence, but of their mother's presence.

And a scar a.

How do you say a trauma? A wound that will never heal over their life.

And it will likely be one that will pass be passed on to their children and their children's children, and so on and so forth. So that cycle. And that's not just the only example, it's in so many places. But the way this conversation has kind of taken off, as I understand it, over social media in a lot of real ways, was really about the failure to name a lot of the women who have been victimized by their relationship and the men and their relationship who have committed these murders.

And I think we didn't.

We failed at not being able to I think balance a fullsome conversation that would have included all the angles. It's not to say our angle the way it doesn't need attention. It does, but there were a lot of angles there that were miss And I just appreciate Hair holding all of us accountable to it.

I really am hoping Gary, that we can hear from you and your story. Research that says Black women are six times more likely to be killed than white women an intimate partner violence. Forty five percent of Black women experience stalking, physical and sexual violence in their lifetimes, and an estimated fifty one percent of Black female adult homicides are related to intimate partner violence. That's according to the

So first, thank you all for having the conversation I think is necessary. And two black men accountability is not an attack. I think that that's the beginning of the conversation for me. When the twenty twenty four election happened and people were dumping on black men for a host of reason, I was one of the first people to illuminate over eighty percent of black men did what we were supposed to do in that election. So when I come to these conversations and I make certain critiques of

My father was cheating on my mother.

My mother had had three children back to back for my dad, and then she walks in one day and tells my dad, you love them children, don't you. He says, yes, I'm gonna leave you with him, goes in the room and shoots herself. There was no conversation about postpartum depression. What about that black woman? What about that black woman who had had three children and no matter what she was going through within herself, how did she express that to her community? How could she express that to her

And every day they are crying out for us to just stand there up and be men. I know it's hard.

It is I've been through a divorce, I've attempted suicide twice.

I know what it feels like to say to hell with all of this. I know what that feels like. But at no point have I ever decided to put my hands on a woman.

I lose my empathy for men the minute that you decide to be violent against another human, I lose my empathy for what you're going through at that point. And that is what our sisters are saying to us right now, that they begin to lose that empathy that they automatically feel for us the minute that we become violent against them, and we should stop right at that moment, say nothing else, but we're sorry.

Because we didn't hear them.

And the same way that we can understand that when a white man kills a black man unarmed, that we don't want to hear all of the justifications and all of the excuses. We should understand that women don't want to hear all that pontificating.

We do it.

Because it should never be an option for us to be violent against each other in the ways that it is. We have made violence acceptable within our culture that violence breathes out in a host of ways.

And black men.

If the data says that fifty to fifty five percent of the Black women in America who are murdered are murdered by someone that they are in a relationship with, and the majority of black women are in relationship with black men, we could reduce the homicides of black women in this country simply by getting a grip on ourselves as black men.

We could The worst thing I could do in the world is take another black life. Og said that to me. He said that when he leaves his.

House every day, he takes his pistol with him because he wants to protect himself. But he thinks to him in his mind that the worst thing he could do in the world is to take the life of another black man.

How many do we? How many of us actually feel that way?

And do we?

We've normalized this violent culture to the degree that when somebody kills somebody and we know that they're a killer, we still at their time search.

How does that impact the family. We don't respect life enough.

And if you don't respect life outside your house, how are you gonna respect the lives in your house?

How do we break this cycle? I think me God gat I hear you, but that you are more profound than you know. I think. And that's why one of the reasons you're here at this particular time. God doesn't really make those type of mistake. He puts you here in our space to answer the question that Ice has answered. And I think that black men listening to this who

I was having a conversation with a very close friend of mine yesterday, brother, and it turned into an argument that and we made up in the.

End me, and you have had those before too, so I understand.

We have that is I think a part of the give and take iron sharp and gyron right. But in the group text, we going back and forth about some of the conversations and things that happened. I didn't agree with any of his responses. Uh, And he called me a couple of times. I didn't ask his call when he called me the first two times because I feel like I'm charged up, this might go left. I don't

If we were, we would be much further along in this process.

Okay, So if you if we have to check each other, we got to get in conversation with each other and check each other.

A lot of stuff that we left side. When you out with your homeboy and y'all having a couple of drinks.

And he cat calling at this woman in a way where where she is being diminished or disrespected. Check your homeboy right there, Those little things turn into other things because you're disrespecting this black woman and you don't know her, you wanner, and you're objectifying it from the minute that you see her. And if you objectify it from the minute that you see her, you're gonna carry that.

Conduct on in other ways.

And we as black men, got to confront that we have made too many things acceptable and normal that are disrespectful. It's disrespectful. We have made too many and we allow it. He just planned out that shit not all right. I don't have a better way to say it right now, when we got dead babies at the hands of black men. And if that bothers you when we say that, ask yourself, why don't ask me to change the conversation to something else.

In the podcast.

In the podcast conversation, they were talking about, uh, the word feminism, whether you could say feminism or not, that that they needed another word for men who want to be supportive of feminism.

We needed another word to be supportive of women. That is that right there?

That kind of thinking is why do why does there need to be another word for us to feel man enough to support women? Why can't you be a feminist as a brother? Why does that make you feel less masculine?

Why does that make you?

And ask yourself those questions and if you can't answer those questions, you need therapy.

Brother. My last question is, oh, go ahead, No, I just wanted to talk about raising young boys because you know, and I'm just asking questions right now. People are probably going to be in the comment about this, that or the third. So I'm just literally asking from a place

So I don't have a son. I have a daughter, Zoe, but I have a nephew, cousin, nephew, you know how we are my cousin. But he's like my nephew.

Hebout to be a son. You're gonna raise them and put him through college and all them things.

He's across the street from me at my parents' house, and he's ten, and little Brett is a smart little boy, active little kid. He likes to play, but he's always with my daughter Zoe. They're always together. See's sixteen, he's ten. I teach Brett now how to play with young girls when he's out in the yard, just doing active things with them. You can't rough house with a young lady. You never hit a girl when you get mad. He's

I think we don't prepare our kids for enough. We say, are they kids?

We let them come back in, and we don't take the time to talk to young men about their emotions. Brett came to me one morning and he said he didn't want to go to school today. I said, why do you want to go to school today? He said, I'm going through this or this and the third. And I said, well, today, you got to understand that this is your job. That your job is to go to school, bring back good grades to us, and as a result,

How to have the intelligence to move on to do the next thing right.

And too often we don't know how to process to the next thing, and we crash out or we give up. And I think that we are making excuses for people in multiple situations as adults that are faced with an obstacle that they don't know how to get to the other side of, so they just diminish everything in their face. Right, And that's what's happening right now because we aren't taking the time with our young men to teach them how to regulate themselves to the next decision, to the next day.

Right.

It took me until I was in my thirties to really understand what grandmother was saying when she said, it does get better. Doesn't mean that that day is gonna be good, Okay, doesn't mean that the next day is gonna be a good day.

It means it's gonna be a better day.

And I think that too many brothers are robbing themselves of the ability to get to a better day.

And not only.

Themselves, but you're robbing the entirety of families to get to a better day. It's one thing for you to make a decision for yourself, but then you make a decison for everybody else involved. That is just we got to wrestle with that, man.

I Gary, I really appreciate what you're saying, especially around the piece around we don't take enough time to talk to young men about their emotions, and so in this moment in particular, I was frustrated most of last week because what I was and I'm just now being able to put words to it. After you said that, I was feeling like black women were holding the responsibility that all of us black folks carried. After George Floyd was murdered and people had to watch it for nine minutes

So there's that bucket.

But there's also this thing where I feel like, just like we were telling the white folks, y'all need to talk to yourselves. I really want that conversation to be with black men, and I would love for any of you all the way in here. But I just feel like we talk all the time. We can urge partners to go to therapy. We can say we're doing the work ourselves. We have a group chat where we're venting

I know that's not the exception, but generally it's the rule.

Y'all don't have a lot of vulnerable spaces, which is why you would want to carve out space for Brent to be able to talk about his emotions, because everybody doesn't have that growing up. In fact, most young men are told, especially black boys, stop crying, you know, and nobody ever even gets a sense to like to really release the tears. Bakari and Andrew fortunately do not mind shedding a tear, but I do think that it's important for other people to understand that. And I don't think

You know, my first conversation with you, Angela. You might not remember this, but when you can't speak a Southern and when I said, you know, you you talking about black women, that you don't say nothing about the black men, and you said, well, y'all should say something about the black men.

You say it unless I'm consistent.

And when she said this, this is like, this is like ten years ago, okay, And in that conversation, I reflected on the other side of I said, she's right, She's right.

You know, we we we as men, have to take the time.

And that's why I've been kind of doggish with some of my friends, because you know, when we're confronted with this, right now, this is the time.

Right now. Okay, we didn't get it right before, brothers get it right now.

The question that needs to be asked is why nobody had a job for the man that crashed out.

I think that a lot of us are just sitting in this moment and not wanting to deal with that accountability that he probably led justin and surrender.

We failed justin, and then as a failure, as a failing to justine, he ends up where he does right, and nothing about, nothing about his decisions are justifiable excusable in any way, shape or form. Because no matter what you are going through, it is never acceptable to choose violence against someone else. And that has to be the framing of everything that we do in this that violence against anyone else is unacceptable.

It is unacceptable for us to harm a woman. It is unacceptable for a woman to harm us.

If my daddy told me, if y'all got to be putting y'all hands on each other.

Y'all need to get the hell away from each other.

Yeah.

I came into this at eighteen when I got into the dating conversation with my father telling me, if you have to be putting your hands on each other, you need to get the hell away from each other. There are people that I've been in a relationship with that will tell you Gary might have done this or Gary did that. They will never tell you I put my hands on them to harm them. That has not been

We gonna break matter of fact, tell her and the kids to come over here. Negro, you can't come. That needs to be the position. Thanksgiving dinner, you got that abuser sitting at the table.

What do we do with the pre crash out niggas like you? You can see it. We all so we all have You know, we I had conversations with justin this year, right, which is what's sitting on my heart. We've all had those conversations. We have those people in our lives now and just for the purposes of this conversation, those niggas that we know are spiraling downward those kind of pre crash out like, what do we what do

I seek one. I don't know how to say this.

My mind keeps going to the same thought that there's some situations where we need to tell that woman to protect ourselves and get out.

That's true.

I am.

I am deeply concerned about the safety of our women.

And if we've.

Recognized that a brother is at that point, we need to talk to that sister and help that sister make sure that she is safe.

That is the position that I think we need to take first.

Then we need to do everything within our power to get that brother to resource and then the help that he can get. I struggle when I heard some of the conversations about the organizations and the networks that Justin was in that those organizations and networks had not provided a contract, had not provided an opportunity to Everything doesn't.

Have to be public.

But I think that what we do as black people is the minute you got a dot of a stain on you, we start acting.

Like you untouchable, and you treat them just as much of a pariah as white people do. Like people can't.

Like people can't.

Redeem himself from their worst day, he can't redeem himself from this.

Now, nobody gives a damn he was a lieutenant governor of Virginia anymore. Nobody will ever talk about any good thing he ever did, because this moment will outlive all of that.

And by the way, Gary won't say it because he nicer than me.

He's talking about the bulet because the bulet definitely has money and definitely has people in it that could have helped.

I don't understand how.

Somebody and I understand people saying I don't want to be attached to certain controversies, but you don't have to be attached to a controversy to support or.

Help a black person.

And I think that we are spending too much time leaving people in the wilderness of the world and wondering how shit ends up where it ends up because we don't give a damn, because we don't act like community, because we don't love black people through their shit and some shit we can love you through.

We cannot love you through murder. I can't. My empathy starts walking all the way out the door.

When somebody takes another life, I want you to face some level of consequence at that point.

If it is not a righteous murder.

What I mean by righteous murder where somebody is being harmed and you then take the life of that person that's harming someone.

I'm not hearing that because you do not have to take another life.

And I think that that is the very premise of the conversation we got to get to as men, because we've defined ourselves as mancho and defined ourselves as men by.

How violent we can be.

The truth of the matter is the greatest men I know have taken the time and loved me, have taken the time to hear me. My biological father was an alcoholic till I was ten years old. My uncle William became my father when I was eight and my daddy wasn't there and I was getting kicked out of school and I was a bad emotional kid. That man sat with me and he cried with me. Take the time to cry with another black man. Let him get it out.

We spend so much time telling me and get over it. You're gonna be all right.

Dog.

We sets our way out of it. We drug our way through it.

We go from one woman to the next woman, abusing them sexually, and then we end up with the baggage that we can't handle. And then we take all of that out on the people around us. The Bible says, charity begins at home. At home, you smiling at everybody at the job, but you can't smile at them kids in the house. You you can show up for that white man and be as profession put the damn act on for your family.

Charity begins at home. Do it until it until it feels natural. I know some of the things because they taught us as men not to feel that.

We don't always know how to process through. But let yourself feel it. Let yourself feel the pain and then let yourself get to the point where you realize the pain subsides. And we as men have to have that conversation with men, But we have to protect the women first. Our first obligation is to protect these women. As a father of a sixteen year old daughter, I don't want nobody to harm my baby, and.

I want us to see every black woman like it's our baby.

If you don't want nobody to do that to your child, don't do that to nobody else's child.

Every black woman is somebody else's child.

Thank you, Carrie.

We can do so much better, That's all I'm saying, Brothers, and it's not nobody is against you to tell you that we can do better.

And I know it is hard.

I know it feels like the world is against us. But there are brothers who love you and will hold you down. But you got to love yourself enough to live.

Thank you, Gary Chambers.

Thank y'all.

Who cares about truth in the last morning, seen it.

Well, try to read this outra so we can get out of y'all.

Thank you, Carrie, thank y'all.

As always, we want to remind everyone to leave us a review and subscribe to the native.

Lamppod have calls to action.

I don't even think we need one.

After that, I want to play mine. Okay, Yeah, this has just been a heavy show. Uh, and I figured it was going to feel heavy. It's necessary. But because I believe Bacari might have won the challenge yesterday, I'm not sure. Andrew with the with the with the live show, there's a very special moment from more House and I just in a time where we're seeing a lot of black men in mugshots. I wanted to show some folks who are winning as well.

So if we can roll that clip, Nick.

Hello everyone, we are black men and white coach at moor House School of Medicine, and I want to introduce you to the future of medicine.

Her.

My name is Tarren Ballet.

I'm a freshman biology major in the pre medical track with a Public Health science minor from Baltimre, Maryland, and I'm going to be a future cardiatric ser.

Hi.

My name is Jason Faulkner. I'm a senior biology major with the minus sociology from Soul, North Carolina, and I am a future pediatric n caciologist.

I was going on.

My name is Zahir Andia Man a senior biology major from Brooklyn, New York, and I will be a future antasiologist. My name is Lena Scott.

I am a junior Biology major, Public Health Public Policy double minor from Dallas, Texas, and I will be a future general surgeon.

My name is Andrew Pope.

I'm a sophomore biology major from over The, Alabama and I'm a future chari thoracic surgeon.

My name is to Horn. I'm a junior biology major from euast In, Texas, and I'm a future trauma surgeon.

My name is Christian Oldles. I am a junior Biology and Psychology major neuroscience minor from fair Fair, Alabama, and I am a future neurologist.

My name is Corey Bardies Junior.

I'm a sophomore Biology major Public health minor from Boston, Massachusetts, and I'm a future physician scientist.

Hello.

My name is Amy day Dammy.

I'm a freshman biology major from Santana, Texas, and i am a future demotologist.

Hello.

My name is Jason Rigs, Jr.

I'm a sophomore Biology major sociology minor from Edison, New Jersey, and I am a future or the Peak Surgeon.

Hello, my name is a Lodger Lowis. I'm a sophomore biology major from Columbia, South Carolina. Now I'm a future physician scientist.

My name is Quindel Myrik. My name is Quindel Myrik, sophomore Biology major, public health minor from Virginia in a future orthopedi surgeon.

My name is Malcolm Jolly. I am a junior bology major at the Premier Track from Sant Louis, Missouri, and I will be a nacciologist.

I am m O tep Truett.

I'm a junior biology major in the Premit track attending Morehouse College from Deurning, North Carolina, and I will be a neurosurgeon.

I am a Kennan Dewoke.

I am a junior biology major from Macon, Georgia, and I will be an orthopedia surgeon.

And my name is Justin sat Cloud.

I am a junior biology major from Las Vegas, Nevada, and I will be a dermatologist.

Shout out to Warehouse College of Medicine. I just wanted to play that, and I am going to dedicate that to my nephews Davis and Jackson and stokely. Y'all have some big shoes to feel, but I know you will feel them well too. To you all in case you all have closing words, I know this has been an emotionally heavy show, so I wanted to end in with a little light.

That was dope. Shout out to all those young brothers who were doing God's work. I'm gonna close us out because we need to take Mini pod, I think, or get out of here before we leave the city of Atlanta. But as always, we want to remind people to leave us a review and subscribe to Native Lampod. We're available on all podcast platforms and YouTube, and you can follow us on social media and substat or check us out

But I pronounce that right, he did it perfect.

You didn't put the phonetically. He usually put it in my script. He didn't today. We are Bacari Sellers and Andrew and we are very, very very prayerful for Paparae who gave his seed angela raie to us in the world. They'll get well on paparaye and welcome home, y'all. There are one hundred and ninety four days until mid term election.

Welcome home to the Natives.

Landing on the podcast face that's a for greatness. Sixty minutes is so hit, not too long for the great shit, high level combo politics in a way that you could taste it then digest it. Politics touches you even if you don't touch it. So get invested.

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Got them as sellers, stand on business of why you could have been anywhere.

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