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Hey, everybody, this is a very very special day. I get to share solo pod time with my dear sister friend Tiffany Cross. We are here, y'all to talk about black beef in these internet streets. We're supposed to be joined by Van Lathan, who could no longer make it, but we had such a good conversation yesterday to The conversation was about how we solve for people who we love in conflict, especially in such a critical time. You remind us most podcasts right about what we're what's at stake.
Of course, we're under an authoritarian regime. The courts are turning, media companies are turning. Certainly, Congress has, state legislators have, and yet and still we got a lot of time, energy, clicks and views on folks that want to focus on beef.
You were mad at me recently speaking of it beef, and.
I'm gonna let you tell it, but because you thought I was wasting my time on said internet beef. So I want to get into that and then hopefully you'll be with me, You'll be down with me to do some type of a pledge and ask our people to come to know.
We'll see what the pledge is. Why I wasn't mad at Angela. I was disappointed, annoyed, annoyed. I was annoyed, irritated it definitely irritated, frustrated, frustrated, all of yes, you, thank you. You just put words to my feelings. Because I am at home in my bed, sadly on screen time scrolling through Instagram, and I don't want to give
this person too much attention or credit. But a very dark, spirited person who I've never heard of, never seen, never popped up in my timeline at all, and she was just saying all these very degrading things about Angela. Not over some personal beef, not over you know, like Angela stepped on her toe and didn't say I'm sorry, like nothing like that, but over a policy position in which this woman happened to be missing formed, But over a policy position that Angela was really just trying to explain
and express frustration. I don't we're trying to avoid saying specific beefs because then we get into the beef instead of the whole point. And I'm like, why is this stupid chick even popping up on my timeline? Like I don't even know. The language was so ugly. And then I scroll and look at the comments. You know why she was popping up with my timeline because this one right here, Angela all up in the comments responding to this girl. And this girl had like a couple hundred
thousand followers, Angela has like two million. So I'm like, you just gave your whole The algorithm sees that and says, oh, your your followers must want to see this engagement because you're engaging her. And so in this rage machine, the data is feeding me what it thinks I like, and so it really inflated this person's point, which was not
Angela's intention. And so I know Angela has talked about what she's gone through with her mom and just in life, what we're all going through, and I just felt like, why are you in the comments engaging this person? Now. This is punctuated by there are beefs all the time, in which Angela inserts herself. She is not the person in the beef. But let's say me and Andrew got a beef me Andrew don't have no beef. I'm just
using us as an example. Me Andrew got a beef, and I'm like, you know, Andrew ate my bag of chips and I tell him those are my doritos. Don't eat my doritos.
You need to use at example because now you're gonna.
Have people have dragging me for this as president.
Well, me and Andrew and you never really had no beef, you know. But I'm just giving that as an example. It got nothing to do with Angela. But she will insert and be like, Okay, Andrew like, let's talk about it, Tiff like, let's talk about it. Because she loves us both, and so she wants to create this koon bay ya. And my thought is, you know, I grew up in
certain ways. So one of the themes of how you grow up is mind your business when they don't concern you, you know, And so I feel like sometimes Angela should mind her business. But Angela, but Angela said this is how we even got this, how I even got on the pockets we were talking about. Yes, but when I.
Said that to you, angel doesn't like to debate.
Clearly I'm in a debate now I'm being help forced here to talk about this. So when I won't mind my business because she wont my business. But when I said that, what was your response? It is my business. I didn't say that, but that's how I feel. I think that, you know, I think there are two things present. One is own man tip.
How are you gonna make me cry?
Oh God, she's gonna make me cry. So I'm gonna keep talking so I don't cry.
No wait, wait, I have to say that. Okay, Okay, I'm gonna try.
So see this is this is don't give me, don't get I'm not I'm refused.
I'm trying to try. Okay. So I grew up with a dad. So my dad is the oldest, he's the oldest sibling.
He is the shortest boy, so he had to use some extra like force to get his brothers to listen to them.
Because they were younger, but they were bigger than him.
And so my dad's way of being is very much a mediator. When my grandfather passed, he told him that he had the responsibility keeping the family together because he's the patriarch at that point. And I think my dad and I are similar enough where I have even when
it's subconscious tried to emulate his behavior. One of the things that my dad does so well that I'm so proud of him for is there's not a person in the community that he knows about that if he sees them as voiceless or not being heard or not being fairly represented, that he doesn't go and kind of take on that cause.
I think it is the way of a good activist, right. And I think.
On a more micro level, I had a very traumatizing sixth grade year, very traumatic. I think we can all find that one year where you were like, this year was the worst year of my life and sixth grade TIF I had a number of.
In my emotions.
My period coming up made me was it was it family?
No, it was it was all school stuff. Yeah, but like a number of occurrences where people would like they would decide that I was like the enemy for whatever reason, Like my parents were. We did they did pretty well. I always had new stuff. I think there was jealousy around that, but I also felt very awkward. I was flat chested, my teeth was crooked. I am bracest, yet I peach fuzz on my lips. Someone are using full of mustache, right, Like whatever.
It was like it was a rough year child, Yeah, challenge and so and so it was. It was.
I felt I got picked on a lot. There were times where like the bell would ring for recess and I would be like, I do not want to go outside.
I don't know what's going to happen today, And the.
People who were closest to me, I felt like, didn't defend me. So by the time sixth grade was over, right, I was like, I'm not ever going through this again. So sixth grade summer to the seventh grade year, girl, my period came, my booth started coming in. I was a little cute, I had braces, right, I was ready for the world. No pun intended with the artist, but like you know, I was ready and I can't. I made up in my mind in that moment that I would never be bullied again, and that nobody I love
would ever be bullied, right, like nobody. I didn't care who with my dad, like whomever, I decided I was gonna be the chief defender like I didn't want. I didn't like that experience and I didn't want anybody else in my world to have that experience. So seventh grade, TIF, you will be pleased to know that that's the year I got suspended. Why my friend Yolanda was in a fight with Lamar Murphy Lamar, I love you, but I'm
about to tell all your business. Also in the book Hope you don't mind, but Yolanda was He was picking on Yolanda and I was like, leave how long we were in pe. He didn't leave her alone. Lamar came charged at me from across the room. I swung and he hit Lamar roundhouse right. He drops to the ground. Lamar is true. I'm sorry, that's what happened. So I get suspend it. Yeah, and my mom wants to know why I'm suspended for a battle that wasn't mine. My dad is proud. And my point in saying that now
I'm not encouraging kids. Don't try this at home, don't go and get suspended at school, don't fight, Nobody tell on the person. Okay, be a snitch. It's totally fine. But like I think that is core to who I am. If voiceless or voice impacted by they weren't there to represent themselves. You know, you hear about those times when your name comes up in spaces like the letters written about me in sixth grade where I wasn't able to defend myself. You have a whole narrative about me, and
you knew different and you didn't defend me. And that's really where it comes from.
And so I think it's deep. But I also see it as a duty.
And I'm sure there are times, like to your point, where you're like, Okay, that's too heavy given everything else that you're carrying. But I don't know another way of being, you know, And I'm fine with it, particularly when it is for people who I know are for the interests of black people, even if their means to that and is different, and even if they're misunderstood, but if I know their heart is to liberate black people, to help us get free, to create space for.
Us, I'm gonna I'm gonna rock with you.
Well, yes, okay. So what Angela said when I said, you know, this isn't your business all the time, she said, it is my pleasure to defend people I love. So hearing what you said to that, I would say, okay, I hear that. So then you can come in and say, because you think about all the people Angela's friends with, we on the wrong opposite side of a lot of issues, you know, So in that case, you can say, hey, you know, if I feel like Andrew didn't mean to eat your dorito, get back.
To the dorito.
And Andrew is a beef, you know, I wish, said Bakari, he needs a beef, but just throwing the comb in there, Andrew didn't mean to eat your doritos. And Andrew is like, I ain't even eat her to READO you knows lyon once you had made your first attempt to me, then
then that's it. Like what So it's a whole thing, a whole like conflict going on where some people feel away about about somebody said something publicly and a lot of us had opinions about it, and people said something and Angela felt, you know, like it's her responsibility to defend this thing. My thought is defend the thing once and then be on your way. But like Angela, don't
box everybody until they agree with her. And to me, that is for me as your friend, that is hard to watch because it's like, girl, you like I do you just stop me if I'm saying something wrong. But Angela's mom had to go to the hospital. She's fine. She kicked Angela out the room, so she's fine.
She told me to mind my business.
Literally, you tell her to mind her business. So I'm looking at this like, why are you spending your like you're not gonna convince people like they feel how they feel, and me personally, in this instance, I didn't think they were wrong, and so Angelin and I just started to think, is this about the thing or is this about something else? Because as your friend, I want you to step away, leave it be. You deserve peace in this moment, and you'll take on this beef and eight other beefs at
the same time. And you know, it just doesn't feel like it's living in service to black folks, and it doesn't feel like it's living in service to you. And you keep telling me it doesn't drain me, like it's my pleasure to defend people I love, and so it could be me projecting, because that shit would drain me.
I definitely think you project yeah, I say, but I don't think it's all projection. I do think it comes from a place of care, right, Like, I don't think you're just like, oh, let me put everything I feel on you and tell you to feel this. I think you're like Okay, I see how I feel about it, and I don't want you to feel this, so let me do it. Because you're not minding your business either, That's true. Your defense comes up in a different way.
Your defense comes in and protection like I don't want you to take this on because you're carrying all these other things. I know you're carrying these things. So I'm going to try to make you stop.
Doing this thing because I think this is how I would respond to it. I think we all.
Do that, and I think the question just becomes like can you be can you see enough to know when it is draining you? And I can honestly tell you just from accountability standpoint, I can't always and.
I won't know until I get to the point Like last.
Night, I don't know how far you got in a chat, but I was like, all right, to keep scrolling. I'm like, okay, yeah, I got to the point where I was like, all right, you know, I'm not going to do this. But the main thing that I would like to get to, Tiff is a place where our folks can say, you know what, brother, a sister, or sibling, I took issue with your approach on this thing, and I wish you would reconsider.
And I want to use a good example.
There's a good sister, Hope, Giselle, And I'm calling out names because this is something that was resolved during State of the people who challenge our tour on social media and said that we were missing the representation of the trans community. And I was frustrated about it because we were hyper inclusive. We had two hundred or half two hundred organizational partners local, national level, etc.
I work, you know this tip. I worked over.
Time to get black people if we didn't agree on everything together, and I felt really frustrated because I'm like, I know this isn't true, Like why don't you just come through and see. David asked Hope to come through and see and to volunteer, and she did and it completely shifted her position. And I don't think that in every time I do that that people will completely shift
their position. But I would like for us to love the kind of way where we give each other the benefit of the doubt first, to not say we're intentionally causing harm. I actually hate those comments. The worst tip when you were like you in these comments. I'm in the comments, especially when somebody says we're intentionally doing something to be divisive or to few misinformation or to cause harm. We don't move that way. That's that's not the type of people we are. It's definitely not the type of
black folks we are. So that's when I get really concerned. And so if there's an opportunity to get people together in the same room to realign, I would love to see that happen. I really think we need like a black people summit where we just like agree to some things, you know, like who are the people that you're gonna listen to to fact check you if you make a mistake, It's okay.
If you make a mistake, then you could just own it and move on.
Who are the people you go to if they're like your tone is drabbed and it's gonna make people feel like there's no hope.
Can we do that? You know?
Is there a community where that we can create where there's some alignment. We won't be perfectly aligned on everything, but can we be aligned on some big picture issues sex that we don't have black beef in these internet streets so much it just feels and that feels distracting.
Yeah, because like your alignment is one thing, somebody else's is another. You know, some things that you want to be in a line, I'm on you and I are not going to be in alignment on those things. And so once I've stayed at my position clear like I've done my things, trust that I have done my thinking. Like typically when I say something, I've debated myself. You know, I've talked to somebody who disagreed with me already. I you know, I have conviction in my beliefs. I'm standing here.
I'm gonna assume that about other people. If it's clear they haven't, then yeah, there's room for a discussion. But sometimes I think the attitude of oh, but if you only understood this other side, and it's like, maybe that's you. You need to understand the other side, But a whole lot of other people we've already done that part. And so then when you're like, no, but I'm trying to pull you over here, and it's like, yeah, girl, I'm good.
I don't need to go over there, Like I it's not something else that I'm okay over here, And so just for your own piece, still, I'm maybe projecting. I do kind of feel like sometimes it's I've said something and we talked about a specific situation where there's a person who I think uses their platform completely irresponsibly. And I said something to the person and she you know, it wasn't like she wasn't receptive, but she seemed pretty
rooted in how she uses her platform. At that point, I don't really have shit else to say, you know, like, that's how you feel, it's your platform. You gotta live with that. That's okay to do it after that, to keep saying something to her again and again, at a certain point that feels disrespectful. You know, at a certain point, I gotta say, Okay, I get it. What Angela's perspective was on this particular person is because other people started
calling her out publicly. But I think sometimes you need to be called out publicly. Sometimes people need to and sometimes that's gonna make you listen. If thousands of people are saying your girl that she was terrible, if that's the thing that's gonna make you listen, then yeah, if there are other people who are saying something that is harmful, that's not correct, and that's reaching a lot of people, like, yes, sometimes you gonna get called out publicly. I will say
when I have my show. I mean I took umbradge with people who would try to tell me how to use my show, you know, like I there's an executive we both know, yes, who sent me an email and was like hey, I at a different company, had nothing to do and was like, hey, I want to talk to you and give you some pointers on your show.
I ain't know him, like we were not host. It fell out of pocket to me, you know, not like hey, just would love to just meet you and say hello, but like I'm starting out critical, like I'm telling you that you're doing something wrong and I'm the person that's going to fix it for you. And I just felt like, what's your right what's your success record? Because I haven't seen the people you work with, I know what you do. Like why it just fell out of pocket to me.
So I try to maneuver in a way with people because like that's what you choose to do, then do that, you know, Like I'm gonna stay in my lane, you know. So I don't know. I take your point about the big picture, but your big picture is not gonna be everybody's big picture. That's mine.
Yeah, I think that that is right, and I think that some of my work is in accepting that right, Like the thing that I think is most important is not what everybody else thinks is most important.
My hope is that.
For our survival, for our liberation, we can have some more alignment around that, because there are people that we need, and if there are people that we need that we can convert, great. There are people that we need that we can just potentially sway a little bit amazing. If there are people that we need to call out and leave out, Okay, I don't love that, but I get it. I just don't want to do that so much that we end up not having anybody left, especially in this
space where we need. We don't just need all these voices. We need a lot of activists and organizer types. And there's some folks who are to the far extreme left of me that I don't.
Want to leave out.
If we can still find some common ground, I think that gets us back into the conversation we were having last week about what's that twenty five percent?
And I was about like, I was like, Tiff had me. I was like, tip got me good.
When she was like, well, the twenty five percent is you want a black people.
Then I was like, yeah, I didn't think about that part.
But normally I wouldn't even be in the same room with them, right, But like, generally speaking, can we find enough to agree on to move in a forward direction?
Lolo dropped in the comments, we have a comment. The real issue I don't know.
Open up your chat friend it says this looks like Lashawn Walston. The real issue is all of y'all who got millions of followers, shouldn't always be public about y'all disagreements.
Knowing good and well.
The ops oppressors just used those quotes for validation. And I'm gonna tell you this is one of the things that that how TIV got stuck on here where she needed to be writing. One of the reasons that I wanted to have this conversation exactly what you said. I was raised by an activist. I am a conspiracy theorist.
I fully believe that once they hear that there's a wedge that they use bot farms bought people who are easily bought off to drive a larger wedge between the community, and I don't want us to be subject to that. We should be more sophisticated than that. We know the ops were involved in twenty sixteen, we know they were involved in twenty eighteen, twenty twenty, twenty twenty two, and
twenty four So why would we do that? And I just want us to be a little more sophisticated, patient, and compassionate.
Some people would argue that some of the folks you defend who are saying things that they vehemently disagree with that they find harmful, that those people are doing something that lives in service to the ops, and that it's hurting black people. So that's a divide that you may not always be able to mend. And sometimes you just got to let that ride out, you know, Like if I don't know, I mean that that really is, you're still saying, No, I know, I.
Know what you're saying, Tiff. I think that it's one thing if you think that, But they literally are in our comments sometimes calling us the ops and shields and all that stuff. And I think that my reality of it is is if there are our friends or people who know us, like when you hear that, like on the streets, not in these internet streets, because that's why we're calling this the black beef in these Internet streets
because some things don't deserve an audience. But like if you hear somebody outside saying that, like, refute that it is wrong, it is incorrect. Like we want black people to advance. We don't always agree and to and to be liberated. We don't always agree on the pod, but we definitely agree on the end.
Golf.
You know, there's no question.
That's what I was saying. I was telling Angela, Like, if I'm saying something that Angela disagrees with, that a lot of people disagree with. I don't expect that of Angela, you know, I don't expect her to go out and defend me in every room if it doesn't align with what you feel, or even if it does. I would never put that pressure on you, you know. Like I represent me and my thoughts, and I'm okay with that. Like I can stand in the truth of what I say.
I have conviction in my beliefs, and I don't always want to be responsible for things you say. Now, if somebody in my presence is calling you, I hate to even give this. This girl on the internet was out here talking about angel the high yellow bit. It was just the most disgusting thing I was just looking like what a miserable, unhappy person like this is so sad. Now in that case, I kind of feel like that person don't even deserve my attention. I'm like, oh, you've
lost me. You don't. I'm not a sounding board for it. You can't stand in front of me and say that. I'm not gonna try to convince you otherwise because at that point you've kind of lost credibility, you know, like I don't really want to even talk to you about it. I can just let that conversation giving you the energy inflates it. Like what you focus on grows, you know, like my focus is water and this flower, so it's gonna grow. So we may just have a different a
pro to these things. But you gave the example of like you and me, and like, you know, if we got a beef, I don't. I really don't feel like we'd be having to be but okay, but if we just add we argue.
I think we argue.
I think I really don't know, like I to look y'all tune into the show this week is we have Natasha Brown on, who like we love so much, Yes, and so you know, like if you have any beef like she's the person in our Machete group who I think is like the most honest and fair and can like reach anybody. And so Angelo is saying like she will call her like let me just you know, tell you about Tiff, you know, which I think is a beautiful thing, a safe space, you know, like it's like
it's good. But my typical thought is, I you stand on the wrong side of an issue with me, or I don't like how you handle this thing. I don't like what you said to me. I like the way you said. Whatever those things are. I feel it in the moment. I'm address it in the moment. But if five hours later you like you want to go eat, like, let's go eat. It was only one time where I was, oh, I don't want to say, you're gonna tell me not to say a public But it was one time I'm like,
I need some days. We were talking about something that Angela didn't want to talk about on the podcast, and I didn't like the way that she responded on the podcast, and I was, you remember what I'm talking about?
No, but I'm sorry, I hate that I don't remember what it was.
I just if you know my memory is bad, but we were trying to We went to essence like not long after, like days.
Yeah, I can't I can't remember what happened, but I remember.
Want me to say what it was about? Want because Angela's every time I'm on stayed somewhere. She we have like an energy where I feel like she don't want me to say something publicly, so I won't see.
You can't you can you can't go?
Okay, it was about Diddy, it was about yes, yes, And I did not like Angela's response, and so that was probably one time where I'm like I need a few days because I don't like how that went down. You know, I was mad at her too. Yeah, we were mad, like we're beriefing. But for me, I'm like, I mean I could still go in a week, Like I can go, I can go eat with you, I can talk to you. My attitude is I don't want to talk to you. Angel's attitude.
I feel like my my essence was messed up from that, Like I feel like I don't like that.
Well if it's just like I'm coming straight to you, like I'm coming to you.
No.
But we didn't have time, so I was hoping that we were going to be able to talk before the show. We didn't get to talk before the show. We didn't go to our normal events. So that was hard because I know your heart is in the right place. It sucks when we have a disagreement about strategy and then it interferes with our relationship.
I don't like that, So I hate.
I don't like that, Like I'm like, oh, I'm gonna talk to you, but I don't like to fight with my friends. It Actually, I'm that little puff up is more about sadness than it is about rage.
You know.
Yeah, well, but even the way you handled that, Like my thing is like I ain't fucking with you. Don't need to talk to you right now, you know, but I'll see you. Anngel's attitude is I'm coming straight to you, like say if we need to talk, and I'm like, le me your own and like no, let's talk, you know. And so I appreciate that about you, you know, like that is like no, oh, let's just ask this out.
But sometimes I just need a few days because I don't have the expectation of you to be anybody but who you are just and you shouldn't have the expectation of me to be but who I am and I require a lot of grace. And I think we all knew. So if you require a lot of grace, you have to be willing to give a lot of grace. And sometimes for me to give that grace, I just need a few days. I got a control issue, like I
like to be in control me too. And we were on the phone earlier and Angela stuff ain't got nothing to do with me. She's talking about her solo pod and like what she want to talk about. And I'm on the car. I don't even know business on the call and I'm like, no, no, no, you can do that next week because that is still be relevant. You'll talk about Nigeria. This is what you say about it.
I'm like, but Tiffy, just to be fair, this isn't just tiff being out of her like Lane or out of her not in my business, tiff is a producer at heart, like so this is to be fair, I think you need to give your speaking of grace, give yourself some grace here because this is like, oh no, this is feels like a better show.
We need that. We love the for that. So I think that's fine.
Now I can't remember what you said beforehand, but it's the point is you supposed to leave, but we got two other comments. You way over to see.
I see these comments. I got my chat open. Now you want me to read them or're gonna read them?
Yeah?
No, go ahead, Well says we can Kelvin, Kelvin, forgive me, Kelvin. We can't to just be saying anything to our people in this moment with all the disinformation and misinformation happening. Good point. The reputable voices need to even more be even more careful of what they say. DJ quote Crist says, but yes, I would have rather Roland had called CTGU to Charlemagne. He still could have done a video, but first maybe have the convo offline. I don't know if
that happened. Do we know it did not? Okay, it did not, and I was we were.
Trying to not get into specifics, but nobody know what we're talking about since But it's not They're not the only one. We just got to internet beef, right like there was there was something else last week. There's you know, there's constant things kind of happening. We talked reference to another one with somebody that we don't know the other videos that were made by people that we don't know, And that doesn't mean the points necessarily were irrelevant, But
I just think the approach matters. You know, like people say all the time, you win more bees with honey. I am a vinegarbish and I'm trying not to be because I think that you can be straight to the point and not stab someone being straight to the point, there's another way, And I really want to refine that.
Tif.
I think it's something that you're normally very good at.
You got to get to a very high point of frustration to not be good at it that I just want to say.
This here too. I think.
That we have gotten to an environment where the clicks are more important than character and preserving relationship, and I just want us to recenter on the fact that preserving our community is more important than clicks right now. So if you can have that offline conversation, have it. If you need a witness, if you don't want me to be there, TIF said, I need to find some business.
Fine, call the therapist.
You got all somebodiness.
Call somebody, apparently, my mama said, not us today. But I am going up there just a minute. But we we gotta figure out a way to love on each other and where we are falling short, where we have a blind spot, where we have a growth edge, give each other the space to do that. That's one of the things I love the most about our Machete Crew TIF because we do give each other that too.
We push, but if.
Somebody come for one of y'all, we like where we gotta be right, Like where we gotta where we gotta squabble up. Yeah, And I think that's important to you want to have those safe spaces people that you know will defend your honor when you can't, maybe when you're tired, or maybe where you have a blind spot. But like we need that, and I think it's okay to love on each other enough to do that.
Your mindful of my boundary.
Yeah, that's that's all I want. Like, just protect me, that's.
All I'm promising, y'all. And can you guys please just do me a favor. Reach out to Tiff on Instagram and let her know that she does, in fact like to debate, and this prof.
So that they don't know about this, So I say, I don't like to debate.
We did a podcast where you said that.
Okay, but they don't know about the conversation. Yeah, offline, yo, Angela is like I think Angela likes the debate. I'm saying I don't like to debate, but she is trying to say, like, basically, you do like to debate, like you debate all the time. I don't think that's like my go to. I don't like to debate what I know, you know, like if I feel a way, I'm saying this is how I feel, and then if Angela says, really, this is how I feel and it's something different for me,
I might have another like hmmm, I don't know. I just I don't agree with that last point you made, but I got you. I when it starts becoming like you're trying to convince me of something, I'm like, yeah, I got it the first time. Like I don't. I would rather like I listen for understanding. Like my test is, can I repeat back to you your position and if I say it to you and you feel like yeah, that's how I feel, and then I can say, yeah,
so I understand it. I don't agree at that point to me, the conversation is over at that point, Like you know how I feel. I know how you feel. It's okay. I wanted to just say real quick too about the comments because I told Angela Is before we were on the air, there were a lot of comments around when Charlemagne was on the show and when you know, we were talking about black intellect, and there was so many comments that were like Tiffany's elitist and she's classifiant. Ugh,
my sister act just like her. That's why her and oh I got a family full of people like her. That's all like being around them. And I can take it, you know, I could like I don't. I don't live in service. I'm not a slave to the comments. But I do appreciate the engagement for the show, even in disagreement. But reading some of those comments, I really read them like.
Oh, I love you.
Guys, you know, because my thought was, however you feel about the conversation, I am yours and you are mine. This is a family conversation that is just not had anybody outside of us started weighing in. I'm like, you don't even belong here, so what are you doing?
This is we did not welcome you Hall.
This is my point. If you had a family dinner, and you know, you're like, oh, mamma, get on my nerves, she said, blah blah blah. But if a guest from outside is in there talking about, yeah, your mamma, get on my nerves, if you like, hold on, hold hold on, like you don't have the right to do that. So I look at the conversation around black intellect like that.
And so even the people who were mad, even people saying I don't even know somebody's I don't even know her and I want to cheat on her what I'm way, you wouldn't have a chance, stupid. But even that, it's still felt very familiar, you know. And so it's like, yeah, y'all are mine. If even if I don't respect your opinion, even if I think you'd be on some ignorant shit, sometimes you are mine and I am yours, and there's nothing you could do about it, and nothing I could
do about it. On this side of the divide, when they come fall us, ain't nobody gonna be like, oh, well, you smart and you not, or you know this or you said this or whatever. It don't matter. You gonna be mad to hear this.
But I'm gonna tell you now so there were some moments where I was defending your honor, especially around that those last couple of podcasts, and the main thing I would say it, I was like, it's so fascinating that people's read on Tiff is that she's elitist and unapproachable.
I was like, Tiff is the one I can't if I told you this or not, but I'm like, Tip is the one on all of our well, I'm gonna tell the audience now, all of our machete trips that becomes close personal friends with the wait staff, with the chef, with like whomever, and then or like an uber driver, like reminds me the most of my dad. Is actually the thing I admire the most of my dad. We will be in a space for a few moments and he will find a way to find common ground with you.
And Tiff is that person. So it's always shocking to me when I hear her say something.
I'm like this, Hey, I don't have seen you act.
Like this, but she is talking about something very specific, and I think people have expanded a very specific conversation to think that's how you are in life. But that is where I get protective and arguably even defensive because I'm like, no, you don't know her, that is not her. Like I'm probably the bigger asshole between the.
Two of us, and it's not on purpose.
I just got anxiety and I don't show up well initially in social settings.
I gotta get comfortable. Tiff is like, hey are you doing?
Oh my god, you have she's talking these people's dogs. I be protective of Tiff when she's talking to people's dogs and the people are rude, I'd be like, she'd be.
A nicety, y'all dog. So that is like my normal disposition.
I'm fiercely protective of the people all love, even when they didn't ask for it. But I don't apologize for it. I think it's a good thing. I just love y'all.
Apologize. I just I don't. I just you know, I don't have that expectation of you. And I know who I am, and so somebody who doesn't know me, of course, they can receive or perceive something you know a certain way. And there are so many people who I don't know who do identify with, you know how I feel. I thought that was a really interesting thing in some of
the comments. It was a clear gender divide one which I yes, yeah, who feel a certain way, and there's a lot of black women who feel a certain way about me, who feel like thank you for finally saying this, and sometimes they would take it a step further. I'm like, oh, I wasn't exactly saying.
See what I'm saying, And that's so I was like, no, let me tell y'all.
You know.
Yeah, some so it became a conversation that was bigger than me. But I truly do like I I am rooted in my beliefs and it's it's okay, you know, like I don't regret anything I said around that conversation, and I don't. I don't hold ill will for you know people, I'm not trying to convince somebody of who I am, you know, like.
I think that's fine, but I just I don't know. I'm not I'm not gonna watch nobody lie on you either. And I think that that there is a fine line distinction, but there is a distinction. And I think if I'm in a space where I can be like, yeah, I know that's not true, I'm not cool with that. You're definitely not gonna say it in my presence I'm fine with that. I think it's that's my boundary, Like you're not going to disrespect people I love or misrepresent.
Who they are in the world because of your own.
Stuff, like your own insecurities, your own you know, shortcoming, your own triggers, you know, like you don't get to put like paint this person into being this way.
And I think you know, especially.
Happen everywhere.
It does, but if it's in front of me, I'm not going to stand for it. It's the same thing as like, you know, when you were leaving MSNBC, not by choice, but there's articles coming out misrepresenting you, misrepresenting your characters, like maligning your reputation. I'm going to defend you against that as well. And I think that is
our It's not just my honor. I think it is our duty to make sure that we protect people who we know are doing the right thing, are doing it for the right reasons, and we have the ability and the power to leverage our influence to ensure that they are protected. That is what I think about it, and I don't I don't see it changing. That is something
that again I take honor in doing. And I think that there are times where like you know, it might go from honor to argumentative and I could probably lighten up. I need to be more mindful of that, of that shift. But I don't regret that at all.
Well, but I think that's a little different. Like when there is a machine powered by whiteness that aims to destroy one of us, then yes, for sure, but.
I think that this machine is powering these bots. That's what I think. Bots.
Yeah, so the bots like I don't engage. But when there are real people, you know, who have thoughts or opinions about something that we expressed or said, or something that somebody else expressed or said, you know, I do feel you know, like sometimes it's like, yeah, okay, that's how you feel.
And you know, the funny thing about this comment drag that Tip got for me is Tippy in the comments more than me.
Now, her argument is gonna be but I be in our comments.
I do. Yeah, And like I am when people comment on on YouTube and Instagram, I do. I'd like to see how the show is performing, how much engagement we have. I can't read every single comment, obviously, but I like maybe one out of ten comments, like I'm just reading to get a sense of what people are saying. They telling us we gotta rap.
So I see, but but yeah, I do.
I appreciate you guys weighing in and you know, and and I I want to say also thank you to producer Lolo all the people in our arm services who are serving. We do want to say we honor today as Veterans Day. You know, I know it's a really challenging time when Pete Hegseth I think has worked a lot of what's happening in our d O D and dishonors a lot of the you know, the people in
our arm services men and women. I want to say, we honor you and see you uh and and sleep under the blink of the protection you provide, as Jack Nicholson said, and a few good men and so we just respect and want to send you that honor.
I want to I want to dedicate today, just since you brought up Pete Hegseth to the former Joint chiefs of Staff CQ. Brown, Today's day will be dedicated to c Q.
Brown.
So if you guys want to go ahead and go over to Pete Hegseth's social media, let them know y'all think about c Q round today who the Trump administration fire, probably because they were threatened by this black man h and all the DEI greatness and excellence he brought to the table. Instead, they got a Fox News host as the Department of Defense secretary. But first, so Lolo also said, can you also make a mention of how to submit questions? Yes, please make sure you all send in your videos to
our Instagram dms. You can send in a video preferably what's this landscape? Landscape?
One is vertical?
Portrait? Vertical? I think it's portrait.
Anyway, Just send in the video with your phone straight up like this.
That's what we're trying to say, Like this, send in to us. Try to keep it to sixty seconds or left.
Make let's make sure you say your name and where you're from, and we always try to get to those questions. Our question, ombudsman is right here, sitting here, Tiffany Cross. You make sure that your voices are presented on every Native Lampod show. I have kept my sister about thirty five minutes over her exit time.
I'm gonna honor her boundary and she's got to go. So thank y'all so much. Welcome home, y'all see soon.
My guys.
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