Nude Reflections with Callisa

Because when you remove the sexual element of like having a task to perform or, you know, having this end goal, you just get to sit there and appreciate it and appreciate the women and their bodies and appreciate my body. And it was a completely different way to think about and feel about bodies and naked bodies. Thank you for tuning in your consciousness to the Naked Human podcast. I want to acknowledge your presence and what it took for you to be here today listening.

My intention for you is that you receive what you came here for and find what you didn't know you needed. This podcast is about what it means to be a human being and what it really means to be naked and how our relationship with Mother Nature has the power to heal us. My name is Carrie Cott and I'm a nude nature photographer, licensed photo physician of Chinese medicine, plant guide and wild woman embodiment mentor.

I help women heal from sexual trauma, awaken their authentic voice, and distinguish between fear and intuition so they can be led by their deep feminine heart. I bring to life in this podcast my own internal wisdom. I will only share what I've learned and experience on a personal level. As you listen, I encourage you to take from this what you need and just trash the rest. So happy listening.

Welcome to this very intimate episode where we travel into the hearts and the yonis of incredibly brave and courageous women who have said yes to the transformational journey within themselves and the wild woman nude nature experiences. In today's conversation, we are connecting with Khaleesa Mickle. Her body is age 29. She is a full time independent virtual assistant and podcast producer. She happens to be my most magnificent podcast producer. For this podcast you are listening to.

Her spirit animal is the jaguar and she is super passionate about learning about homesteading. She has her own garden, chickens and bakes sourdough bread regularly. I am looking forward to eating some of that maybe hopefully someday. And she is looking to expand the skill of resourcefulness and self sufficiency.

So thank you so much, Khaleesa for being here today, for saying yes in your heart and your body and being vulnerable and open to sharing your experience with me and with the thousands of people listening with the world who's listening in on this and acknowledging the incredible listener who is joining us today, listening and connecting to the medicine that's here for them. So I just want to acknowledge you and all of us for showing up for this conversation and what's possible inside of it.

And being, I guess the word would be like be just being in the world of discovery and fucking vulnerability. So welcome. Thank you. Thank you. I'm happy to be here. And I think we need to have more conversations like these. Everyone does. Yeah. These are just the. I mean, I'm gonna speak for myself, but these are. These are juicy and they're raw and they're real, and I wish I've been sharing a lot more recently.

There's a difference between a conversation that's real inauthentic and one that is inauthentic. And there's the authentic conversation. In my experience, doesn't matter what's being shared, whether it's heavy or it's light, that it's just. There's just a capacity to be with realness, that it doesn't matter what you're talking about. And then when there's, like, an inauthenticity or holding back and fears running the show, like, that can be really hard to be with. And that energy is heavy.

And. Yeah. So these conversations about being real and authentic are. I think, as a whole, they're. They're light. They're an opening that we can maybe be with things that we haven't been able to be with and receive things, and. Yeah, so they're. They're important. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think it's.

It's been amazing to be on this journey because then I find myself meeting more and more people where I get to have these juicy conversations, and I'm like, yes, these are the people I've been looking for. So it flows and it all connects. Yeah, we become more magnetized the more that we immerse ourselves in being and experiencing what we desire. We open ourselves up more and more to that, and I think that's also an important encouragement for all of us.

And what's popping in is also about a conversation immunity, because you can really find people that you can connect with and have these conversations and be in these environments by opening ourselves up. And vulnerability is a doorway. It's a key to a doorway. And sometimes if we're not finding it, there's an opportunity and invitation to look. And how are we holding ourselves back?

Where is our current inauthenticity within ourselves? And when we can open that up and become vulnerable, then can we just let in more and that. That's important as we navigate these parts of ourselves that want different things and want to be with people that we can just be really real with? Absolutely. Absolutely. So, Khaleesa, you've been on a couple of journeys with me in these particular nude nature experiences, and you'll be venturing into your third retreat Together this coming May.

And I want to just connect with and share. There's something that. When you came to the first event, your first event with me, you shared something that just really stuck with me. And I still think about it, and it is an energetic foundation to these. To these events. And it's a. It's a good reminder of why this space is so important.

And you shared with me that it was the first time that you were ever naked where sex wasn't being asked of you, where you were in an environment where you could just be naked. Mm, yeah. Yeah. Do you want to share more about that? Absolutely. I was flashing back to. To the first event. Oh, yeah. Was first of all completely unexpected. I had only met Cari a week before, and what, like, what a brilliant happening of the universe that our paths just happened across.

And she was like, I have this event. And I. Yeah, I was like, oh, wow. And in my head, I was like, oh, my goodness. But it stuck there. And I kept thinking about it and thinking about it, and I was just like. At that point, I had had a good grasp on my anxiety of, like, if I'm nervous, that's a really good sign that I should do this and I should have this experience because there's. There's something in there about it.

And the whole event was obviously unlike anything I had experienced before, because we did. In that first event, we did yoni gazing, and we all shared a word. And I never forgot that my word was appreciation. Because when you remove the sexual element of, like, having a task to perform or, you know, having this end goal, you just get to sit there and appreciate it and appreciate the women and their bodies and appreciate my body.

And it was a completely different way to think about and feel about bodies and naked bodies. Yeah, appreciation. I mean, I think that that's so eye opening, right? Like having this appreciation just for the body itself. And when you say that for me, I feel. I feel this experience that's indescribable. It's just like. But I'm gonna try and describe it. It's just this experience of a space within self that is just felt in.

Without judgments and stories and descriptors and meaning and just the appreciation for the. The existence, like, the beingness. Like, you know, being human being is what I. What I feel in that. And discovering and having an opening. Having an opening through an opening of yoni gazing and having an opening in a space that invited you to experience. This is. Yeah, like, experience. It's like, I just got something there for myself. But like this is experience.

If you get to experience sexual parts of you in a non sexual environment, like you get to gaze into the yoni of life and you get to be naked and you get to have these parts of you visible and vulnerable and seen and you get to touch these parts of you without the expectation of, of sex. And something that you and I had touched on outside of this conversation was about like doing and a performance and the experience of sex. You know, like you're naked if you happen to be naked during sex.

Because not everybody has sex naked. Just like to drop that one in that there's this experience and expectation that you're supposed to do something and like perform. And how that was the, the psyche of doing was something that showed up for you, right? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. The, the energy of. In the first event, there was times where we'd have a specific activity that we were doing, a specific practice.

But there was also times where we're kind of encouraged to just do our own thing and do what feels good to ourselves. And that was really uncomfortable for me because I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was expected of me. And that gave me the realization that I had grew up in a life where I am very good at meeting other people's expectations. I excel at that wholeheartedly. So being in that energy of what do I do now? What do I do for myself?

And I think what, what just popped up for me was having a disconnect to myself and listening what feels good for my body right now. What do I need to do without worrying about what anyone else is doing or what I should be doing or you know, what, what am I expected to be doing? Normally the thoughts just spiral out of control there rather than just being and being still and soaking it all up. It's something that I still have to continue, encourage myself to practice.

Yeah, that's a really important space to have to discover and witness yourself in those thoughts. So like that space was a space of intentional silence. And in that intentional silence you're invited to that, to that discovery. And you know, it's important to have spaces where you get the opportunity to be with the uncomfortability, the awareness of what your current patterns are right.

Of like going, you know, having access, having an environment that gives you access to become aware that oh my gosh, so much of my thought patterning is about like doing things and tending to what other people might need and then, you know, finding yourself in a space of what do I want to do? And then there's nothing in that space. Right. I mean, it's not that there's nothing. There's trees and there's other people there and there's dirt in the earth, but there's. There's nothing else. So it's.

It's like you can't go and do something else. It's just about staying in that space and continuing to unravel, Unravel that. Because it's. I mean, we're here for a life experience through this body. And if it's one of constantly serving others, then I have it that we just. We miss the mark. Right. And so what I'm hearing and what you're sharing, is it allowed an opening for you to come more deeply within yourself and make a connection where a connection wasn't being made? Absolutely, yeah.

More of that wholeness of you, the, you know, uncovering another layer. Yeah, yeah. And it's funny you say that, because that reminded me of, like, I did. I cuddled up next to a tree for comfort. Like, I needed that. I. I sat up against a tree for. For a long while, and I didn't move. But it's like I needed something solid that I could just. It was behind me, so I felt supported and I could kind of surrender. And that way. I hadn't looked at it that way. Yeah, yeah.

I think that's a beautiful reflection, too, of, like, realigning with the Earth and our innate connection. And how you went to a space, were called to a tree that was there to support you. And that's a beautiful mirror into just why the earth exists and how we can allow our relationship with our natural environment to support us and how we're here for each other. How that tree is there to be a space of support like this rooted, hard, strong space. And you.

You went there and you had stillness in that space, which also connects to this opening that you've had around, like, getting dirty and, like, getting dirty with the Earth. Right. Like, can you share a bit more about how that was for you and then, like, what has shifted for you in that context? Yeah, yeah. That was, I think, one of the most. Aside from the nudity aspect, that was one of the most profound experiences for me. That has completely changed what my last few years have looked like.

But I come from a family where we don't play outside. You do not get dirty like sandboxes. Absolutely not. If you go to the beach, oh, my goodness, sand gets everywhere, and that's terrible. And you have to be careful and cautious and clean and that first event, I remember it had been raining, so once you get nude and you're like, all right, have a seat. And in my head, I'm like, oh, my goodness. Right here. Because there's nowhere else and there's just leaves sticking to you and dirt and.

And all of that. And it. I was very uncomfortable as someone who had never experienced that and worrying about bugs and. And all of that, and. Same thing. That event just kind of gave me the key to.

To open the door. But then leaving the event, that was me going through the door to. To. To get more connected with nature. And it's been such a beautiful process. I will never forget my grandmother's look of horror when I started the garden. And I was like, up to my elbows in dirt, but that's what I needed. And it's been so beautiful to connect with nature and the trees in my own backyard and just starting to view it differently and think about it differently. And it's all just beautiful.

Like, there's no other word. That is. Y'all can't see me, but, like, just listening. I have just this beautiful smile on my face because, oh, my gosh, this is a really big deal. And this is a fulfillment of one of the deepest, greatest purposes of this space, of why this space is here, created, existing through me. And I've had a deep relationship with nature since I was a little girl, and I wouldn't say ever, like, fully disconnected from it, but I did go on a journey of.

I was like, I gotta go see what cities and all this other aspects of life are about. And I just got to a point to where I was like, I'm. I'm so over something about nature being left out of the equation. And, you know, you sharing. And I. Mean, you having the experience that you've had in this space, like, that just melts my heart so deeply because I just see it as you have access to something within yourself that can never be taken away.

Like, this relationship, this space that's in there for you, blossoming into your world is. Is something that is there to support you. Like, people use the word unconditionally. Like, nature is an unconditional, unjudgmental space. And that is. It's spirit consciousness manifested in trees, in the dirt, and the insects, and all of it in all of us because we are apart and. And how it's just impacted your life.

I mean, to go from literally that, to me, occurs as such a night and day space Khaleesa of like, being clean and not getting dirty and don't doing that to, you know, this embrace in home setting. I mean, like this, this passion of yours. I love to commit when I'm all in. Teach me. Everything that's always been inside of you is just blossoming. I mean, what's next? Lots. I mean, I, I do. I think. About, you know, learning canning cows or goats. Oh my goodness.

Which is funny because the same thing, if you talk to anybody in my life, if you had told them that I was going to get chickens, they're like, what do you mean? Like, is this a joke? Because I was not that kind of person. I had a healthy respect for animals. I didn't want anything to do with them.

So it's, it's been such a fulfilling journey to realize you can do these things. I didn't even know you could own chickens. I'm in, I'm in a, you know, a normal city, so I didn't even know you were allowed to. But it has definitely opened this door of there's a lot more that I can learn and experience. And it all just adds up to feel so good. Yeah. That was gonna be, what I was going to ask you is like, how does that now feel? Like, how does that now feel for you in your body?

Like, what's the, what's the difference? I mean, I, I wake up and the first thing I do is go outside, which I never used to do. I'll go sit outside for like half an hour. And that's, that's how I've started to find that, that slow, slowing down. And it, yeah, the, the more you take time, you start noticing all these little things that start adding up. So it, it all just kind of domino effects, which is now impacting, you know, having a garden.

So that's impacting how I eat, how I nourish my body, and that's now impacting how I feel about my body. And, you know, having to be active to keep up with the dogs and I'm cleaning out, you know, the chicken's coop on the weekends. And it's a much more fulfilling lifestyle to me. I love my job. I don't like that I sit behind a computer all day. So it's been great to find more of a balance, really. And it changes everything.

Once you start on one little bit, you hit the next bit and the next domino falls. And the next domino falls. Yeah. And listening to that, you know, following, following your inner unfolding domino. Yeah. Yeah. You have to be open to it and willing. It's, it's that little voice that Whispers maybe you can get a couple chickens. And then everything says, no, that doesn't really make sense. But you're like, yeah, yeah, no, I can do this. And here we are.

Yeah. Just imagine that, you know, cleaning out chicken poop is quote unquote, dirty. And how. But it's not anymore, right? It's not actually dirty, is it? No, no, You. You get used to it. You step in it. There's no avoiding it. It's there. Yeah. And dirty has a whole different context for you now. Like, it doesn't exist in the way that it. That it did. Yeah. Oh. Even just like leaving my back doors open where the dogs can run in and out all day, they track so much dirt in. And it's.

It's interesting to look at the evolution of. Okay, I'm actively trying to keep everything out because I need to keep it clean. And then, you know, then you get to the point where, like, okay, I mean, it's just gonna happen. And. And I love them having freedom, and it's just part of life. It's okay. It'll all be okay. We have showers and brooms and whatever if we need, but, you know, it's fine. Yes. A part of life. And what I hear is a much more relaxed nervous system.

Like a much more relaxed energy, a softening that's now there. And you mentioned about, like, slowing down, having more slowness. So it's invited in more slowness in for you and. And softness and gosh, just like so much. You said the word fulfilling, so it's brought in so much more richness. Just that shift in that space that was a disconnect, and you reflected how it was. This energy of trying to keep something out instead of letting it in. I think that's a beautiful reflection of light.

Like, we're experiencing some things where we want to try and keep things out in a way, like, no, this is bad or wrong, or I don't really like that, or I'm uncomfortable with it. And like, I have this. This posture right now where it's like, hands up, you know, like, hands up, stay out. And then we have a crack in that armor and something gets to come in. And. And that something that came in for you was quite expensive. It literally shifted a lot of things for you in your life.

Something that wasn't there before now exists. And it.

It takes something, as I mentioned in the beginning, like, it takes something to even just share this, that it take something to take the action in uncomfortability and anxiousness and in the face of fear. And to open into that, it's always worth it, as I've discovered. Yeah, I can agree. Absolutely. You also shared with me about how like, the process of getting naked is. I don't remember the exact words we. You said, but it was like, as if it's like.

And there's like this initial uncomfortability that happens or nervousness about getting naked and then being naked for like the first 10, 15 minutes and then something happens. And what's that something? Yeah, it becomes normal. Yeah. It's again, coming from a history with really, really bad anxiety. And my nervous system was all over the place. So I am the queen of building things up in my head. So, you know, I'll get really nervous, anxious, dysregulated if. If something new or different is.

Is happening and build it up. So I definitely, you know, both of your events and even this event upcoming, like, I think it's totally normal for me to feel a little bit of nervous energy or anxious energy of kind of like, what's. What's gonna happen. But then you lead it so beautifully of the actual practice of closing your eyes and taking your clothes off. It becomes such a beautiful thing. And then you get a few minutes in and it's completely normal and natural. It's not weird.

Nobody's making a big deal out of it, and you're just there. And I absolutely love your wording for the events of having no thing, you know, nothing tied. Because I use clothes. Oh, like camouflage. I know how to dress for my body type and I am really good at hiding behind that. So having nothing and just being there, it's so freeing. And it's. I think it's funny now because people, you know, my friend just told me the other day that, like, oh, you're so brave that you're doing this event.

And I'm like, I guess maybe that's not giving me enough credit. But I'm like, I don't know. I just show up and we. We do the work. It's. It's more than just that. But I think once you do it, you realize how natural it can be, you know, and it does. Doesn't become a big deal. Yeah, I connect to all of that and that, you know, isn't it fascinating that the nudie.

Nudie. The nudie part. The nudie part of it. That's the best part. Right? It's really a big deal. Like, I had conversations with potential co facilitators, potential participants. I mean, the word nude is in the event to clarify like, it's a nude event. It's like this big conversation that happens, especially on my end because I'm navigating and having these different conversations, and it's like, we're going to be naked. This is, like, a big deal.

And it is a big deal because it's not something that is welcomed, really, as a whole from society. And it's just so fascinating because once we're all naked, it's not about being naked. It's really not like it's over. But that is a hump. That's like, you have to go through the birth canal of that process. And once we're in it, it's not even about nudity, because it's actually not like, it's not about. It's just about. I just see it as a birth canal.

Like, you move through a birth canal, and then it's like something's now lighter, and then there's another layer and things that you can, like, see and be with that you weren't able to because they were being covered up. And. And, yeah, like, I hear that from so many women in these spaces that, like, once we're naked, it's like, that's it. It's not even about that anymore. And, you know, you just bringing in about how you can wear clothing for certain specific reasons is because it is.

It's about. We can hide things and cover up and keep ourselves hidden because we don't live in a context where clothing is intentional for a reason. You know, like, oh, it's cold out, so I'm going to intentionally wear this, or I've had a bit too much sun and I want to put this hat on. It's not coming from that inherent freedom, you know, like, seeing bodies. We all have different bodies and clothing. This is always so amazing to me. I don't know when or if this will ever end.

For at least me in my process of this is that, like, holy fuck. Like, bodies. Wow. We just looks all so different and yet so much alike. And, you know, covered up with clothing is like, I don't even know what a body looks like with clothing. And that was something that has been really opening for me in this process of, like, I really didn't have any idea of what bodies look like. I mean, I knew what my body looked like.

So some people I'd seen naked, what their bodies look like, but it's like, wow, these are real bodies. They're real human beings being vulnerable. Hmm. Yeah. And maybe you do need to give yourself some more credit about, like, it being courageous. And, you know, now that you're a veteran on your third event, you know, like, it still takes courage. And the thing, too, Khaleesa, is that every journey has different aspects of medicine that's available in it.

Like, it still has the rootedness and nudity in nature. And we are doing. In this upcoming retreat, we are doing some different practices. Like, we're doing yoni massage, like, entering into your own yoni, into your own vagina, and we're going deeper into this part of ourselves, this part of body. So there's always another aspect of you that you are connecting with. And fuck, yes, that. That's courageous. You're courageous. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, and I am. That's another edge for me.

That's. I haven't done that. So that was part of what ticked up that nervousness of, I don't know what I'm gonna uncover doing that. And that was also part of the. All right, fuck, yeah, I need to do this. We'll figure it out. But I think that's what's really cool. Called me to this upcoming event specifically, was I feel like, you know, I've been on this path and I've. I've connected to nature a lot more and felt a lot of changes.

But I do think one area that has still been in the back of my mind was, you know, this time period where I let people into my body, and it's left me with feelings of disgust and, ugh, there's no other word for it. And so I'm really excited to have an opportunity to address that and. And, you know, listen to my yoni and try things out that I've never tried before because I didn't know that they were things. And, you know, this is not stuff that's taught or talked about.

And I just am excited to explore and to learn and to go deeper and to heal and all the things.

And that takes courage. And I think, too, like, once you become more embodied in something like courage, like, it doesn't become this thing that you're like, oh, I'm being courageous. It just becomes more and more a part of you. So sometimes it can be like, that's courageous of me. Like, this is kind of my new norm now. So, yeah, that takes courage, Khaleesa. And I just want to acknowledge you for doing that work within yourself and of trusting the experience.

And I want to say trusting me as well, to. To hold you in that and to hold the container in the environment for you to discover what you need to. And. Wow, like, that acknowledgment that you have about that energy of disgust, it feels really important and powerful, and I feel really honored to help you, to help you move through that and to experience and feel whatever you need to, to move that, to move that energy and whatever wisdom your yoni has for you in regard to that. And wow. Oh, my gosh.

That. That just. I'm like, hey, can we do it now? Like, like, come on, let's just go outside and like, let's. Let's feel this. And wow. Oh, my goodness. Thank you so much for sharing yourself, all of you, in this space. I really appreciate your vulnerability and coming on today. Well, thank you. Thank you for creating this container and this. This platform for everyone to share their stories and their experiences and like I said, have these discussions. So. And for now, we are complete.

Clack, clack, chicken, chicken. Thank you for tuning your consciousness to this episode of the Naked Human. However you find yourself, whether it's relieved, enlightened, triggered, or as if the past minutes were a complete waste of your time, it's perfect. Be present to it and allow it to be the medicine you need. I welcome your feedback and heartfelt reflections of how this episode impacted you.

You can share with me online@thenaked human podcast.com and if you're feeling called for a more personalized experience into your nakedness, I invite you to join our community of wild women in person or online. You can find more specifics@thenakedhumanpodcast.com and until next time, bye.