Naked Vulnerability

How long can you talk about nudity? Like, how much is there to actually talk about nudity? And that froze me. It stopped me on some level. Thank you for tuning in your consciousness to the Naked Human podcast. I want to acknowledge your presence and what it took for you to be here today listening. My intention for you is that you receive what you came here for and find what you didn't know you needed. This part podcast is about what it.

Means to be a human being and what it really means to be naked and how our relationship with Mother Nature has the power to heal us. My name is Cari Cai and I'm a new to nature photographer, licensed physician of Chinese medicine, plant guide, and wild woman embodiment mentor. I help women heal from sexual trauma, awaken their authentic voice, and distinguish between fear and intuition so they can be led by their deep feminine heart. I bring to life in this podcast my own internal wisdom.

I will only share what I've learned and experienced on a personal level as, as you listen, I encourage you to take from this what you need and just trash the rest. So happy listening.

Naked vulnerability. So what does that even mean? What is this conversation even about, really? Just throwing in the word naked to be fancy about it, you know, which actually has to do precisely with what this episode is about, so. So vulnerability is my definition. The act of being seen and heard and honest within ourselves, being vulnerable.

I wonder, I wonder if we lived in a different construct of the human experience where we weren't like, shaming and hiding things, if vulnerability would even be a thing or a word, you know, or maybe it would be a word, but it'd have a totally different meaning. However, the nakedness and naked, nude, no clothes. Naked, as in being seen, transparent, vulnerable, exposed, not covered up, not hidden. Real upfront, direct.

So I have a podcast listener who I was exchanging some emails with, and if this was you, I adore you. Thank you for this gift. And there was a line in one of the correspondences about, this is totally my interpretation and not by verbatim, and with something along the lines of how long can you talk about nudity? Like, how much is there to actually talk about nudity? And that froze me. It stopped me on some level.

And if you've been a podcast listener, you'll know that there's a pause in my episodes and this is a huge factor or the factor that stopped me and using my voice, acting and speaking, because it's been looming in the background. And I am here to just call it out, give it voice, share it to Be honest and transparent. And if you're just listening to my podcast now, you won't notice that there was ever a skipped beat. Yeah, that just totally took me out.

And it's interesting because it's like, as if what I'm talking about is actual physical nudity while I am, on some level, what I'm speaking to is being a human being. And it really just like, literally in my body, I can feel it right now. If I tune into it like this freeze mode where I just, like, froze. I could feel it in my. My shoulders, in my chest.

Oh, definitely my upper body of like, like, like, if you've ever, like, caught, quote, unquote, a small child, like, doing something that, like, they weren't supposed to do. Or I just see this image of this look of like, oh, no, you caught me doing something. And then like, there's this freeze mode of like, whoops, maybe they won't see me. That's how it is felt in my body.

And even, even after that, when I was recording episodes, it was just like judging myself in the background and just carrying it around and it literally being energy that is, I was going to say flowing through, but not really, but like, just hanging out in what I've been up to and what I've been doing in those episodes that I recorded after that, which has an impact, has an energetic impact, an emotional impact.

But then it stopped me from using my voice of like, oh, gosh, how much can I really talk about nudity and actually being naked? And then, oh, well, what if I don't talk about nudity and it totally disrupted my Apple card, really? And it has fucking sucked big time.

And I'm imagining every one of you listening in can relate to this and how just like something can take us out of our own game, take us out of the flow, stop us freeze mode, which is totally different than incubating and inner reflecting and going inward and taking a sacred pause for all these other reasons.

This is different. This is trauma response. This is fear mode. This is shame, doubt. Just the whole shebang of unworthy expressions and emotions that we can experience. And the thing that gets me, so to say, is how it had me. I had myself in this experience as if what I'm talking about is physical nudity and how it. I stifled myself from speaking to anything other than that, you know, nudity, gosh, it's a. It's an experience. It's a humanness at the. That's. That's the root.

And. Yeah. Oh, so if you're listening which you are. I wonder. I wonder where you're frozen. Frozen in time, frozen within yourself, where you're stopped. Where you're stopped within yourself, no matter why. Maybe somebody also dropped a comment. And the thing I also want to share about that, too, is it doesn't mean that what that person shared meant how I received it or how it triggered me, how it landed, how I interpreted, or any of that, though it can.

And there clearly was something within me that was able to have that button, button, button pushed, was able to ignite this frozen state.

So if you're looking within yourself, where is that place? What is it about? And how can you call it out? How can you call it out with your voice? How can you acknowledge it? And I find that it is the most potent and powerful to call it out in this space where it's happening. So if you're frozen within a relationship, like, let's say it's your romantic partnership, again, my perspective, you can acknowledge it within yourself.

You can have a fire and give it to the fire and you can share it with a friend, but if you don't call it out and illuminate it with your voice, with your beingness with your partner, in this example, it's just. It still stays frozen on some level because the place that we need to bring it to light is the place where it exists.

And I was just having a ceremony with myself with grandfather fire and hape and rose and tobacco and the night sky and the howling wolves, and I just asked about my podcast. I'm not, for lack of inspiration and thoughts, and this is exactly where I needed to start again or continue was calling it out, bringing it to the space. The space where I was holding back.

And in my 40 human years of experience, the most magical place to transform, resistance, stagnation, frozenness, spaces I'm stopped is directly within that space. And I've been rather irritated about the assumption from others that not directly communicating with someone is something I shouldn't be doing. And it's so ridiculous, because when we have disruption in any relationship, the place that we can actually heal the wound is where the place where the wound ignited.

And, you know, I hear all these caveats or, like, voices of, like, well, what about this? Well, what if I can't talk to the person? And what if. Da, da, da, da, da. I get it. There are what ifs. And sometimes people won't communicate with us. And that's hard. I've found that to be hard when it's like, I just want to. I just want To I just want to bring it to you. And sometimes we're that person who just doesn't want to engage with someone else.

And so I get that that that can be really real, or you can't use your voice with someone who was abusive and you're no longer in communication with. And again, there are these instances. And so if that's the case, how can you use your voice? How can you bring it to light?

I've done practices where I actually sit in a deep meditation and I connect with the spirit of this human and imagine them sitting there with me. And I use my voice out loud. I don't do it in silence. It's not a silent dialogue. And the space of sitting in deep contemplation, deep meditation is really, really important.

And then to really have a conversation with that person, to really feel and imagine knowing that they're there and that you're really speaking to them, because I've done these practices without that, and they just don't land the same. And then I just speak and I share whatever I need to share, no holding back. And then there's always the option of the space to share it with that person. Even if you do that practice first, which I have, it can clear a lot of clutter within ourselves.

So I'm here, bringing this conversation here to acknowledge that I've been stopped and it's fucking sucked. It's been a really sad space. I love. I love channeling and sharing through this microphone, and that's really real for me. So I'm not naked physically, and that's not what this whole conversation is about. And I believe that you know that too, but I forgot it for a moment and now I'm back.

I appreciate you being here with me and hearing me, feeling me, trusting me and allowing yourself the space to reflect and listen for the medicine that's here for you in this too. And until next time, we are complete.

Thank you for tuning your consciousness to this episode of the Naked Human. However you find yourself, whether it's relieved, enlightened, triggered, or as if the past minutes were a complete waste of your time, it's perfect. Be present to it and allow it to be the medicine you need. I welcome your feedback and heartfelt reflections of how this episode impacted you.

You can share with me online@thenakedhumanpodcast.com and if you're feeling called for a more personalized experience into your nakedness, I invite you to join our community of wild women in person or online. You can find more specifics at thenakedhumanpodcast. Com and until next time, bye.