MTGM EXTRA! "She's back in touch..."

This is a Global Player original podcast.

Hello and welcome to my therapist ghosted me with me, Vogue Williams, and Joanne McNally. And Joanne, we've a follow-up conclusion to the five-year ghosting. We've been asking for her for weeks and she has written back to us. We're very excited. What's going on guys? How are we? Hello. Great. What's the news? What's the gossip? What's the scandal? What's the news at the time of going to press as my mother says every time I call? Well I...

I have been momming, as you said, this week quite a lot. And I just took the kids to Arnold Park today, which is amazing. But I am, I like, you know, when you're so tired, it's like when you're coming down with the flu or something. I'm so tired after it. I'm just like, whoa. And they didn't want to leave. And I'm like, how have you got energy to stay here?

Well, I'm writing like a bastard at the moment. So I took one of my ADHD meds this morning and my brain feels dry. I don't know what it is. It just makes me feel dry. My brain feels dry and itchy. That kind of sounds quite nice. Oh no, I want to be a bit moisty. The brain to be a bit moisty.

a nice wet bed. You need a bit of mental lubrication and I guess it is but it's like just being on speed. By the way, speaking of writing, Pinaful starts this week. A tiny little plug for Barcelona, Bournemouth, Liverpool. That's it. Everywhere else I think is pretty much gone. at this stage at this side of Christmas anyway obviously in Killarney and Castle Bar but they know what they're doing to me so and when this airs it'll be starting tomorrow in Glasgow wait oh I love Glasgow I know

That's a really nice place to start. Wow. King's Theatre. Yeah, it's a stunner. It's a stunner. We did it. Remember? Huge orchestra pitch. Remember? Yeah, it was amazing. I do remember. And everyone has just so much crack in Glasgow. We're going to have a great time. It's a great start. But if anyone around the Barcelona area, because we've gone to a bigger room, tell your mates, October 9th, I think. What date is your birthday?

October 2nd. October 9th, you're in Chester. Oh! Let's not go down this rabbit hole. They've got Google. Do you know what I mean? I'm in. Oh my God. This is where I go back to. I actually, you'll never get so much web traffic from me on JoanneMcNally.com. I'm like, where is she? I forgot about this. This was.

Like the last time you were doing it, I was like, where is she? Always. Joe, I don't know why you're laughing. You're going to be up the fucking walls. I'm the one who visits that site the most. During records, before records, after records, a lot of the time. She wants to be tomorrow.

Chip me. Please. Check her internet connection in the hotel. Someone help us. God. Do you know what the three of us should do we've never done? We should put each other and find our friends. Wouldn't that be sweet? No. Would that be cute? I will if you want. I'd love to tag you, Joanne. I'd love to watch you running around as I rod away in my baffas. I'd absolutely love to have you on but come on Joanne let's do it I'm just worried about you I want to keep an eye on you

We're like the three bears. You move too much, Vogue. I move too little and Jo's kind of in the middle somewhere. Yeah, that's what it is. I think we've spoken about the three bears before and it really makes sense. Her chip is broken. It's just frantic moving up and down. She just ran to Liverpool this morning. What is her fucking deal? Whereas Joe's just kind of doing his bits and bobs, going about his business, and then I look like I'm dead.

You'll be sending the medics and my mother to the flat. She hasn't moved. She hasn't even turned in the bed in three days. Someone go and do the bed sores. Thank you, folks. Someone do the bed sores, please. I went, I was so, I was put back in my box. I thought I've been getting really good at running. I was running with my friend who was 27 weeks pregnant. Now she is an amazing runner. And I was just still behind her.

A woman who's 27 weeks pregnant. Really? It's going to have to stop running soon. And I was like, right, that's me. I still haven't improved. Yeah, but there's pace and stuff, you know, like I watch people from my window. exercising just so I can you know lap it up I like to pedal but I do I don't I watch them run and some they run like they're on air like I can't they just make it look so easy and it's really inspiring to watch and then you get out there

And it's really hard. Sorry, I get out there, first of all, and if I'm running with Spen or something, I'm like... Listen to how hard they're stomping their feet like I'm some, like I'm Linford Christie. And then I go out with my mate who's like about to give birth and I just drag along behind her. I was like, we can probably walk, we walk for this bit, Johanna. She's probably very, you know. established and experienced run with me Vogue you'll feel like Usain Bolt

And when I say run, I just have Jo pushing the bed along beside you. She laughs with Battersea bark. Jo behind the bed head, just like wheeling me along. Faster, faster. Push me faster. I need water. I'm so thirsty. Do you not remember that time? That time we ran together in Ballesty Park and we'd gone out to do the run. We hadn't even gotten to that like pagoda thing and you had stopped about three times and you were like, I don't want to.

run with you anymore. I'm going this way. And I was like, Oh, the run's over. Yeah, I was like, you just run along there because I can't, firstly, the fact that you chat and run is terrifying. I don't think you thought you were putting your headphones in when I was going to, we were on a date. Sure, you'd do that with my ex when we were on holidays. That's fair enough, though. I would have too. One of my exes.

I used to make him walk ahead so that I could put my AirPods in and listen to podcasts. Isn't that terrible? I'd be like, I'll give you a head start. You'd be like, I don't want one. I was like, no, no, you're having one. Just have a head start and I'll meet you at the restaurant which is an hour walk from here. I just want to listen to my podcasts. Yeah.

I want to catch up in the world. And they'd go to the restaurant and she'd order her wine and then put the headphones back in. Oh, we're not talking. I got him a colouring book. I'm like, I've got you a colouring book. You doodle away there. Mummy's going to read the papers. Holidays are testing for most relationships, friendships, parental relationships.

romantic relationships. You know, it's a lot of time with one person. But yeah, I mean, you shouldn't really be sending them off with a head start. But there you go. Look, love is love and life is life. You would find it desperate to be on holidays with me because you wouldn't, and I'd struggle with you because you'd try and ignore me all the time, but I would be like a dog, like humping your neck, just trying to get your attention. You just, you just, you're never, yeah.

Off as such. I love having the chats. Oh, I am off at about half seven. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. I'd be putting you down early. Half six bedtime for you. You didn't have a nap today. Folk, yeah, you missed your nap now. I really felt that. It's been all day, folk. It's been all day. Have a packet of carrot sticks and shut up. Folk, you need a bit of screen time, love. Bit of screen time. Bit of Peppa Pig.

It's whatever you're used to. Some people are just really big chatters. Like I was doing, when we were filming that Dermot Bannon thing that we were talking about the other day, obviously hair and makeup started about half seven. And then you're chatting, I was chatting with Liv, obviously, in the morning, then chatting all day, like doing the filming and then chatting with the crew and we weren't filming, you know. And by the end of the day, I was like, I, my, to use the...

term to use the zeitgeist term my social battery was dead even mine was after that long day mine was gone and I had people come and dropping stuff up for the party and I was like oh can you just can you just leave it in private Yeah, even you, Vogue, do run out eventually.

I do. I do stop talking after a while. And you need to recharge. They're like, what's wrong with you? Like, cheer up. I'm like, I'm fine. Just leave me alone. Yeah, like I've just stopped talking for three minutes. Yeah. No, I'm not dead. I'm still here.

It's a great gift. Any other news? Well, the house is back to normal. Everything's cleared up. They took the glasses. I tried, Joan. That's pricks. I only kept three. I have no idea what you're talking about, to be honest. I loved them so much. You'd love them. there was a photographer up I was like get a picture of those cups will you we have an email back

From the five year ghoster. So the woman who got ghosted after being with somebody for five years didn't really give us the whole story. She's been back in touch. She's finally, she's seen our back call. Beaming out of Leicester Square, dying for an update. Joe texted us about it and I was like, I can come on the pod early today if you can. Dying to do this. She was dying to do it, yeah. Have you read it already? No. No. No, I have to do it in real life, IRL. Okay. ready okay

We can't act, Jo, remember. No, we can't act. We've established that. All genuine here then. Okay. Dear Pogue and Joanne, I'm back in touch after your request with a few more details around my ex of five and a half years. who ghosted me. Some context. It happened in June. Oh my God, there's loads. It's a big email. It happened in June. It was a Friday night.

I don't think you should dump anyone in the evening time because that really affects their sleep. I'd rather be dumped in the morning and allow myself to like deal with it and then possibly get a good night's sleep. Yeah, fair. That's the first issue. Yeah. Yeah. Asshole. We need to keep the flow of this because I'm, I really, as much as I love chatting about your sleep, I'd really love to hear about the email. If that's good. Okay, eight hours solid last night. Only woke up once.

I got out from work and expected him back within a couple of hours. The evening rolled on and I assumed he was out for drinks, which was fine, but I was a bit annoyed he hadn't mentioned it. Eventually, I messaged him. Why do I keep going into Sean Connery? There's something, it feels like a Friday evening. There's a bit of a...

Giddiness in the air, if I may. It's actually a Tuesday afternoon. I know, yeah. Is it? Oh my God, I usually hate Tuesdays. I'm having the best Tuesday I've ever had. It's freelance life. No one knows if they're alive, what day of the week it is. It doesn't matter. Sorry, folk. Now I've done. Please continue. Eventually, can you imagine what mine and Joanne's conversations are like when we actually go out with each other? Oh my gosh, have we just done it? Even Jo's now rolling his tiny eyes.

Eventually I messaged him, but notice messages only going to be one tick. Weird. Dead battery, maybe. I called, also no luck. Then I got worried, so I called his friend who said he didn't know anything. I called his folks and they said they hadn't heard from him. So yeah, I basically thought he died. No sleep that night.

No sleep that night. And at 8am Saturday morning, his mother sent me a really short message. He's okay. I've spoken to him. What a bitch. What a bitch. I called her. The mother's involved. Didn't I say this to you? Didn't I say this to you before? I said, we spoke to someone else about this. Well, via this.

medium and I said the mothers they'll always back their sons at the end of the day you think they're your friend when you're going out with their sons they'll always back their sons I just feel like I wouldn't I wouldn't allow that I'm sorry I think there's a level of being sound to your son and then being like cop the fuck on and don't be a coward and deal with this like a man yeah yeah but they will publicly they will always have their sons back Not always.

Most of the time. From my experience. Always with me. Sorry, go on. I called her for more information, but she didn't pick up. I've messaged her loads and she's just been really cryptic. And eventually, she's cut contact. Well, like mother, like son. Two wankers. I worked out he wasn't coming back by Saturday night and then drowned myself in a bottle of vodka. Oh, God. Never do this, girls. It's dangerous. Pistle milk after and you'll be fine.

You can get it down in Holland and bars. Please drink responsibly. Do drink responsibly. It depends if it was a 70CL or a liter as well. A 70CL over the course of a night isn't like the worst thing you could do. Why are you playing the woman? You should be saying date responsibly. Date responsibly. I mean everyone. I don't mean this woman. No, you're victim blaming. No. Okay, come on. We're going to get some good shit here. I've been waiting since two o'clock. Thistle milk. Go on, Vogue.

Sure, but the hangover from a bottle of vodka on its own and no food should be illegal. In the time since, his dad came round. Oh God, another RSL, that whole family full of them. His dad came round and picked up a load of his stuff while I was at work. The dad's in on it too. It's a family affair. Oh, and I've had to cover the rent on my own.

I'm hopefully going to recover my money through small claims. Yes, the small claims court, but all contact is being completely ignored. We're going to court. Sorry, did I miss something here? The mother just said he's okay. She didn't say like, she just said he's okay. Yeah. I've spoken to him and then just sent like very cryptic messages back and forth and then basically cut contact. But all contact has been completely ignored. Other than that, I know as much as you.

The mad thing is that if I was hearing this being read out, I would think, I bet she's a fucking nightmare. But like, honestly, I'm not. I'm pretty normal. And if anything, I let a lot go more than my friends would. Thanks for your advice on the pod. And don't worry if this is too long. to read it oh my god it's just so nice no

would he deserve something like this? And even if you were a bit of an RS hole, you still don't deserve it. No, you don't. You just don't after five years. And we don't let Melters listen to the podcast. Send me his address. Send me his address. She'll get the house massive on him. Send us his Instagram. We could ruin him. And we will. What an arsehole though. That is just, I actually think that that is just so. I could ruin him. I'm just making some calls.

You'd say you would and then you'd forget about it. Well, you know, we could certainly do. Yeah, no, you're right. Okay, I'm not the best person to follow through. What we could do is completely cock block this man, but we won't because it's not our business.

And he is going to cock block himself. So. She should put him up on, no, no, no, John, stop. She put him up on, are we dating the same lad? You know that thing where all the women, but I think some of the men are suing now and stuff. I think it's gone a bit, it's gone a bit toxic.

She's already taking him to court. She doesn't need him to take her to court as well. I would say definitely bring him to the small claims court though because that little bit of justice will make you feel better. And he signed a contract to live in that house with you for a certain amount of time. He owes half that rent.

And you get that money and you take yourself on holidays. Small claims for a small man. I bet you he gets his dick filled with filler. Yeah. Hung like a pigeon's foot, I'd say. Yeah. And I'd say he has bad breath as well. Halitosis. And bleeding gums as well because the halitosis is so bad. And corn, corn. Corns. What do they call those lumps on your toes? Disgusting. Corns. No, let's go Verrucas. Corns aren't as bad as Verrucas. Are they not as bad? I think Verrucas are worse. Yeah. Yeah.

Probably, he's probably got syphilis. I'd say super syphilis and super gonorrhea. That's what I heard. Tell him the plague's back and it's coming for him. Right after it knocks on Joanne's door it's coming for him. Well I want it for the social status. And so you can stay in your house more. Can't wait. Hear ye, hear ye. Once I'm not ringing a bell outside telling everyone to stay away. She's fucking riddled.

That is just absolutely awful. Like, and as well, when the family get involved, it's extra hurtful because you do want the parents to see. But like I say, they'll always take the side of the child. But I had a similar situation with a man I once went out with who... Because I wasn't communicating enough with him, he decided to drop off communication with me all day for a day and kind of suggest that he was dead, basically.

I did that as well. I contacted his mother and was like, is he okay? And she... she came back and said I'm going to go check and then she never came back to me and I was really really I was genuinely checking like traffic accidents and stuff and I was really worried then I tried to contact her again and she never came back to me and then when I eventually had it out with him he had told her not to contact me and she

didn't. I mean, there's only so much that you can really, like, defend someone who's just doing something really wanky. They're actually defending him. Yeah, but you don't know what he's said to them. You don't know. So who could have said complete violence to them and now they're like, oh, well, she's...

awful when you're not. Or they're like, yeah, or they're like, we're not getting involved. But I do think if it was my son, I would say, listen, FYI, he's grand. He's just trying to teach you some sort of weird lesson. I would. But that's me. We can't blame the mothers. It's the sons that are the problem. We can't be bringing the mothers into this. No.

God, he's desperate. Yuck. You're well rid of him, which I know you don't want to hear right now, but in a while you'll think to yourself, thank God I ditched him. I always think though and like maybe you know obviously I'm a comic so it's different but I always think great fucking story though. Like come on that's a great story. Thank you for sharing it. And thank you for sharing it with us.

And I hope that you start to feel a little bit better. And drink is not the answer. It will just make you more anxious. It will. It just makes you more anxious. It's fine for a little while, but it will just like make you more anxious when you're going through something like that. Taste the milk. You'd be grand.

When I tried to do that with a breakup, just go on the piss for ages and then just everything came crashing down. I was like, oh no, that wasn't a good idea. Yeah. When you're in a sad place, you don't care about your tomorrow self or your future self. You only just care about the now and the numbing and stuff. And you're like, I'm not arsed.

with the other thing. Kiss on milk. Try and keep drinking as a happy thing. Drink when you're cheery rather than... Yeah, that's not really how drinking works, Jo. I know, I'm aware. I just want to realise it as I said it. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? We're not the Care Bears.

Only they drink. Yeah, a banana. It is a great story. But I've had those breakups where you're like, every time I open my eyes, I was like, oh my God, I need to be. I want to be asleep again. Yeah. It does. That does happen. But like I find that when I've had relationships break up where you do feel like that and you honestly wake up and you're like, God, why couldn't I be asleep for longer? And obviously you can only sleep for a certain amount of time a day.

And I suppose in a way you would rather just not exist because it's such an awkward feeling. But I find that level of it lasts about three weeks. And then you kind of, I would come out of the dark a little bit then where like, obviously you still feel horrendous. but like you can manage the day. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just be nice to yourself. Yeah. There's no way, there's no way around it only throughout. But this woman, to be fair to us, it kind of sounds like she's...

She knows how ridiculous it is, which I think is the main thing. She's not saying, like, you know that that's such, it's such, it's such a barbaric way. It's such a terrible way to behave and an awful way to end a relationship. There's no way of looking at that and not thinking that. It's got serious problems.

Yeah. And that's all you need to move forward, to help move forward, to take the power back, to know that you've done everything. Your side of the street is clean. You've done everything by the book. You've done everything right as far as you could do it. He has to live with that behavior now. And like scarlet for him. And you are in his DNA now as a big mistake, like something terrible he has done. Yeah. And you get to move on and be like, I am the better person. I won this round.

Yeah. He'll never be happy. And then he'll be met by the final boss. Is he still around? Who? Bruce Bigstein. No, the final boss. She's won that round. That's the last round of the game. What was your man named? Final boss. I beat the final boss. Getting ready to hibernate for the autumn. I beat the final ball. He'll be back at O Beach next year. Did you see Bonnie Blue flirting with him? My God, that woman has the game of a bin. Sorry. Stop trying to get her back in.

That's it for this week. Keep sending your emails. We love them. We really do. Hello at mtgmpod.com. Send them into us, please. The weirder the better.