MTGM EXTRA! "Questioning my sexuality..."

This is a Global Player original podcast.

Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams, and with the most forgetful woman in all of the land, not just Ireland, England, maybe the whole world, Joanne McNally. And North America, I would say. Every continent. I would say, yeah. We really have to not talk over each other today because Joanne has not only no mic, but also she thought today, do you know what? Fuck it. I'm not going to take headphones either. So we've no mic and no headphones.

I've ADHD now. I'm disabled. Nothing is my fault anymore. I'm disabled in the mind. It's official. I can't even be blamed for this. It's just part of my condition, Jo.

Okay, in which case I apologise. I apologise to you for the fact that you don't have your microphone in your headphones. Thank you. And you... two should be delighted I'm here for diversity frankly which we are we are which we're bullying she's going to go to Global HR and say those two are bullying me because of my condition I'm fucked mate I'm sacked I'm gone

The worst thing to happen to me was that psychiatrist giving me a diagnosis. I've never leaned on anything more. I think you've gotten worse since she started the meds. I think the meds are actually making her worse. Well, no, because I don't take the meds. I take them. Oh yeah, she loses the prescription. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all that jazz. I mean, it's classic. Yes, yes, I've no mic and no headphones, but I'm here and that's the main thing, okay?

We're surprised you're here, to be honest with you. I know you were on the absolute lash last night after your first show in Dublin. I was. I'm in the Leinster Hotel. We came back last night and there... well I don't know I lost count the tiny fancy martinis which is basically just pure biz yeah I'll describe the scene here for you. Joanne's like right up close to the camera. She has last night's fake fun. Definitely hasn't put a brush through the hair yet. Eyes are very red.

Still got some of the sandwiches. Also locked herself out of the hotel room just before the record that she was late because she'd lost her hotel key. Yeah. And why did all those things happen to me? That's a great saying for Joanne. You're your own worst enemy, isn't it? Suits her perfectly. She just disconnected there for a bit because the internet is also shit. You have ADHD, Joanne, and it means it's not your fault. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Nothing's my fault. I'm no longer accountable for anything. I'm due to go to Paris with a friend in December. And she has a good book. I said, I can't book. Ross. Forget it. I haven't been told about this. I can't be held. I can't book anything. So it's all up to you, pal. Yeah.

It's great. I'm delighted. Unusual choice for you. I don't know. He wants to have the fucking Eurotunnel thing. I'm telling you now, it doesn't go under the sea. I found that out the hard way, but whatever. It does go under the sea. I can't see the fish.

Sorry, it does. Sorry, yeah, it does. But you can't see it. You can't see the octopuses or anything like that. I said that to him, but I'm not sure he's determined. I mean, it would be kind of dark and dangerous. Come here to me. Spenny started a challenge today. He went and swam in the Thames for an hour and a half this morning. And I was thinking, imagine what's lurking in there. Like, oh, there's probably full...

Oh, just dead animals, badgers. I once saw a badger in the Thames and like it was along the canal. So like I used to go for a walk along the canal every day there for about six weeks and just kept getting more and more bloated until I assume it burst one day and I just never saw it again. Sorry, what? You saw a badger explode in the tent. No, I used to walk Winnie over when I lived by Victoria Park. I lived by...

a canal and I used to walk Winnie along the canal and one day I spotted something in the canal and I was like, what the fuck is that? A dead badger. Obviously he had fallen in and succumbed to the water. And the dead badger, yes. And for weeks and weeks and weeks... He didn't mention he was dead as far as that story. He said he was just put on weight. But he's hardly alive. I have to say, I find this pivot in Spencer's character and life attractive. Watch yourself, folk.

I have ADHD. I could do anything. It'd be desperate because he has it too. He got diagnosed. He has it too. Can you imagine the two of them living together? The trauma bond would be out of control. Can I stay though? I'd like to still be there and we can just take, like, oh yeah, that would be a perfect union. We need someone to run the house because it's certainly not going to be us. Yeah, all in the house. Yeah, and raise the kids and all.

So the marriage won't last long if that's any consolation. Trust me. Well that's what everyone said about mine and Spence and eight years in we're still going strong. Did they say that? People are so mean aren't they? I heard one recently that

I've just this this well it was actually I don't know it might go in the papers today I'm not sure because we just basically they give you a right to respond sometimes and like like so we do and so we're like well that's complete bullshit so the story was it might

come out today I'm not sure if that because it's so ridiculous I'm not sure if it will The story was that we, our friends, a friend, a source, a friend of the couple said, and I know it was you, Joanne, you dirty bitch, said that Spencer... I don't remember. Yeah, go on. Watch what I say. Spencer and Vogue are headed for a breakup because they're spending so much time apart. And I can only assume it was because he wasn't in my content for AFRIC because he came up on the Saturday. But I'm like...

And maybe it's because he's going away as well on his thing for three weeks. But I'm like, can we not spend, like, any time apart? Do we have to be sewn together now to show that we're a united front? I'll say this. Firstly, the clickbaity, the...

The thirst for clickbait shit is, I was only looking, I was going to post it and then I was like, Joanne, I think you are still a little tipsy from last night, so don't. There was an article titled... is Lily Allen the most mortifying mother in the world and I know and it was all about like the fact that she's singing about butt plugs and I was like oh I'm sorry so female artists can't mind their life like because you're a mother suddenly you can't talk you know

me and you we always have these conversations about what's acceptable what's not but my point is if I read an article about you and Spencer breaking up even though you're one of my best friends and I have the inside scoop I'd probably read it and be like oh my god

I know, I know. But there's certain things that I read. I read something recently because there's been rumours flying around about me going places. And I read something and it's like, how could she go away and leave her children? And it's like... I wonder, do men ever get that? Remember I went on tour with you and people were like, oh, how could she go away and leave her children? Because I'm a human being outside of being a mother. It doesn't mean that I can't.

go and do something that i want to do you can be damn sure my kids are really well looked after but like it's like it's like you can only be one thing and the worst part about it is it's usually women saying it and i'm like just don't say that because like we should be allowed

go and work and, like, you don't need to concern yourself with how other people's children are. Like, you can be a working mom and also be a great mom and it's just, there should be no shade around that. It's just annoying. And I know something about Lillian.

it's not anything dark, but I know something to prove that she is a fucking great mother who works, a great working mother. It's really random for me to say that, but like, I just, I heard it yesterday and I was like, that's so nice of her that she like they're always it made me think they're always on the forefront of her mind wherever she's going whatever she's doing she's always making sure that they're there and happy and stuff like that so back off

Nothing pisses me off more than faux feminism. Fake feminism. And it's a real issue. And fake worry as well. It's like, I also read this thing yesterday and I nearly responded to it and I was like, don't respond because then it looks like, because then they'll know you've seen it. Because it was on an article I saw about me, but it was on Instagram and I looked at the comments and this girl was like,

I think, like I said, one thing and then she goes, but I really don't like her. And then someone else goes, why? Have you ever met her? And she goes, yeah, I have actually. And I looked at her profile and I'm like, you've never fucking met me.

I've never seen you before in my life. You're full of shit. And I nearly wrote back, oh really, when did we meet? Because I've never seen you before. I think you should, you know. Sometimes I'm like, let's fuck shit up. Sometimes I'm like, yeah, get involved. I felt very Selena Gomez, you know, the way she sometimes does that. I was like, well, I do a Selena. Hello. I've never met you before. Yeah. Send me the deets. Yeah. Can I have the deets of our meeting? When? Yeah.

imagine she wrote back this perfect description and I'd be like oh yes I don't have a great memory electric picnic 2019 you're like oh shit it's you her and the coronas No one's their best self at an electric picnic. That's all I'm going to say. A hundred percent. David Attenborough is alive. Yeah, Joanne's just come on and told Jo and I he was dead because she got the news from Reddit. Something came up in a Reddit thread and I... Christ alive. I'm on the edge.

and David if you're listening I'm a big fan of you and animals but I am I feel like he's like the father he's like the only kind of responsible one left and he's 99 and I guess I I'm on I'm kind of waiting which is terrible he could have another 20 years with science put him in a tube keep him going freeze him like your man Walt clone him clone him he needs to be cloned that's the only exception

There's an exception and it's David Attenborough. Get it done. That's such a good idea. Yeah. Questions about my sexuality. Hi Joanne Bogue. Do you know what? I actually have never questioned mine which I found like it's a bit... boring me and Vogue have a mutual friend and she told me I am the straightest woman she's ever met in her life and she says sometimes I walk she says you don't walk like you're trying to attract men you walk like you're trying to repel them

yeah so yeah I think we are turbo straight turbo straight women yeah okay hi Joanne, Vogue and Jo I've been listening to your podcast for ages now and I've become obsessed with it I recently started listening through all the episodes again from the start I would highly recommend to do this to all listeners it's even more gas the second time around I would hate to have to do that I wouldn't like to know anything I've said in the past

like no I can't I can't even listen to us so like I have to listen back to our pods and if I'm in any way in a bad mood I'll listen to it and I'll just ring Louisa and I was like are we dickheads do we sound like dickheads because I think that we're dickheads and she's like I think you're in a bad mood could start listening to it again the next day I'm like okay I wasn't a bad mood I love us again there's three times I've listened to this podcast back in all three different rooms

It didn't work out well for anyone involved, really. I talked to the WhatsApp group. None of us enjoyed it. It was on the show directly about the edit. Yeah, so I've decided it's just better. Anyway. Okay. I am a gay man who's happily in a relationship. I love my boyfriend with all my heart. He's given me faith in men again after many dickheads. Yes, gay men are as bad as straight men, possibly worse. But my dilemma today is with my sexuality.

Since puberty hit, I've been attracted to men. I hid my sexuality until I was 18 and I finally came out. Being from rural Ireland and a very Catholic... family this was a massive deal the whole situation set me into a deep depression oh god which still haunts me to this day and i've had such intense shame over my sexuality for years oh

My family have been outstanding throughout all of this and are very welcoming to my now boyfriend. However, recently I've been having intense urges to be with a woman. I have never so much as touched a fanny. Fair play. So I don't know where this has come from. Platinum gay. On nights out I've always been approached by women and not men as I get told I come off as straight passing. And never in the past have I been tempted by getting off.

getting with any of the women that approach me. But now that's all changing. During the night, I'm having intense, vivid sex dreams about going down on a woman. I have always seen myself as a gay man, but I've been having such sexual urges towards women constantly now. I really wouldn't want to go down in a woman, and I think all women are gorgeous, every part of you, but...

I just don't want to go down there. Well, remember I had the dream that I was going down at Gemma Collins? Yeah. Well, I had that dream about Brandon Courtney. Did you see, Gemma, you were going down at Brandon Courtney? No, I wasn't going down on him, but I was massaging him in the bath. Do you not remember? You're so frigid, bro. Just go down on him, will you? I think I saw him in his little budgie smoke clothes when he was away on holidays with you and it got me going.

I love when I get a call from Vogue and I just hear the splash, there's this gentle splashing and I'm like, are you ringing me from the bath again? What can I come up with? I ring people from the shower and they're like, why is it echoey? I'm like, oh, I'm in the shower. Do you remember when Winnie, when he was losing his mind, he used to follow you into the shower. Do you remember? God love him. Oh, Winnie. I know. You're wet and mad. Okay.

I feel intense guilt over this as I love my boyfriend so much, but I just feel there's a part of me that's urging to explore my sexuality once again. I feel dirty and even guilty thinking about this as it feels like I'm cheating in my dreams and thoughts.

Do you think it's a case of curiosity that's fueling this or is it some fucked up Catholic guilt coming back to haunt me? Have you or Vogue ever had sex dreams about women or Joe about men? Love you and thank you for the two episodes of The Pod Every Week. Genuine highlight.

I think that's completely normal. I'm jealous of your libido because I am dead from the ways down at the moment. I'd love to be dreaming about going down on anyone, to be honest. I need to have my... like genitals resuscitated at this point. So I am genuinely envious of this guy who wants to ride everyone. I think this is fantastic. Honestly.

Well, John, on the 9th of December, on the 9th of December, you'll be back to yourself. Marcus, Marcus, I forgot about that day. Yeah, Marcus on the minds. Hopefully you never listen to a single episode of this podcast. I'd say I'll be getting a quick discreet cancellation. Oh, weird. Marcus has gone off to you. I don't know. I think that that's completely normal.

And I think that you like, like, I mean, it's difficult for you not to maybe give it a go. But like, if you're in a relationship, I wouldn't suggest doing that when you're in a relationship. But is it something that's going to go away? I'd give it a few months, see if it persists. And then see what you could do. Women are hot. Scratch that itch. Women are hot and they're so nice as well. Scratch that itch. I'm so jealous you even have an itch to scratch.

Ride everyone. What's this lad's name? Oh, he didn't give his name for obvious reasons. Christ, that sounded bitchy, didn't it? What? I said he didn't give his name for obvious reasons. That just sounded really bitchy. Well, he's kind of probably because he's in a relationship. But honestly, also, I know, I know, I know, and Vogue, we share these friends. I know men living straight lives who are absolutely bi.

Do you know what I mean? I know men who are identifying as a straight husband with children who are absolutely... riding lads on the side 100% so of course it goes it goes both ways yeah do you know what I mean I never even thought about that yeah that is very true and the beauty so fucking true and the beauty of modern life is there are no boxes anymore

There's no lanes. Do what you want. You know what I mean? I couldn't be more thrilled for this guy. What a journey he's about to go on. Well, we hope that that journey goes well. That's it. DM me. He sounds perfect for me. I want a straight game on. As a partner, I think that would be a really good fit for me. To very quickly answer the partner question that was directed at me, no, I haven't had dreams like that. But that's just... He just wanks off men in real life!

You're not sleeping long enough, Pop. I knew there was no way through that. Time for the end of the book, Carol. You ever kind of tuck it back? Would you be, do you ever tuck it in?

No, never. You've never done that where you turned it into a vagina. You've never turned it into a vagina. Me and Vogue spill our guts on this thing. And you... don't bring honesty or authenticity to this podcast all of what I've said is honest and I try to be authentic as possible you've never tucked your penis in between your legs Well, probably at some point in life. There you go! Ah, we knew it. We knew it. I imagine that's probably it. Can't bear the lies, Joe. Lies. Fine. Oh, there we are.

I'd be felt, if I'd penis, I'd be folding it in left, right and center just to see where it looks. Jesus, she's going to talk about her origami now, folding it in. Jesus Christ. Remember that? Folding it in. When did you say that? She was like, I had to fold it in. I had to fold it in. When I wanted a rich fella, I was like, I don't care if he's impotent, so I'll fold it in like an origami master. Yeah. Great memory vote. This has been a Global Player original production.