MTGM EXTRA! "My Mum is quite judgemental..."

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello, welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me, with me, Joanne McNally, and her... I actually can't hear you because I've knocked off my headphones, so thank you, I'm lip-reading, which I'm actually quite good at because of the bad hearing. Boke Williams! There you go, yeah, Boke Williams.

And our carer, Joe Attywell. Someone needs to have me in at some point because you two are now visibly younger than I am and it's getting unacceptable. Joe, you have a child and you're very tired, so we can't really help with that because in a couple of months when the baby feels better, we'll get you a face.

but it would only be waited on you now. You'll still look wrecked. Jo, I can tell you now, I know there are not a lot of perks to working with Vogue and I, but if there's one thing we can offer, it's facial aesthetics connections. It's new face. It's new face. That is one thing we have in abundance. Yeah. We basically, we're basically running hospitals out here between the two of us. Are we both? And we, yeah.

Anne likes to test drive everything, so I'll let her test drive something in case her face falls off. And then if it doesn't fall off, I'll head in after. Well, there was a really interesting article recently in the course all about kind of the quality of facelifts now and how they're saying like even...

doctors who aren't that good at lifting faces are getting really good results because there's all this new technology and new machines and everything. But anyway, because I'm going to be going to Australia later on in the year and a friend of mine was also going to Australia and we were like, would we nip in? to South Korea on the way home and get a little get a little get a little Joanne would come back you need to get a new passport I was like my my

I'm sorry, ma'am. You can't fly on this. Why not? I hope they turn me into a tiny South Korean woman. That would be my dream. If I could just be bronzed, it's just about the bronze for me. Well, I know, I know, but I'm always wearing fake tan, but if I could just be naturally bossed. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not white, basically, yeah. We do age the worst.

we do we rot we don't all we do is we're born and we rot and it takes it's very difficult for us to keep stuff up because the rotting is so intense yeah they used to say it in Prosecco Express it's the punishment for the privilege

we age in dog ears yeah hideous because we're completely translucent oh my god poor Winnie we were laughing about him on the pod last week he's not oh poor Winnie I know. He's not great. He's not great. And Amber, of course, right, we used to have this cat called Monkey. And Amber rarely pet Monkey. And when she did pet Monkey, she was like, oh, Jesus, we have to take her to the vet. All her bones are sticking out of her back. And so we bring Monkey to the vet. And Amber was like, we understand.

We know you have to put her down. And the vet just looked at him and was like, it's actually... It's just matted fur, so I'll just shave it off. So Amber... What? So it's just matted fur. Amber thought her bones were sticking out once they were put down. I already have some questions about the monkey story. Was this a family?

or is this recently? No, this is our family cast. This is the cast that Frederick had. And she lived to many, many years but she didn't need to put her down when Amber suggested it. But Winston hasn't been well and I had him in the vet this week.

And he had to stay a couple of nights. And he's back now. But like, he's not really eating. He's just gone. I know I've been crying loads, but he's all right now. And he's back and he's not really eating. So Amber's obviously been over this weekend. And he's been like sedated and stuff in the vet. So he's a little bit... slower. She's gone home and I get a text from Neil.

and it's like he's basically telling me to put Winnie down as well I'm like what the hell has she gone to say I was like I'm not going to keep him alive for my own benefit but I'm not going to put him down because Amber thinks he's moving too slowly not yet she's like the antithesis of David Atta She's like the complete polar opposite of David Ottenborough. She's like the second an animal sneezes, she's like, put it down. Yeah. Get rid of the animals. Neil's dead.

He said, he said, I hate to bring up the subject because I know how upsetting it is for you and the kids. Unfortunately, I think poor Winston is coming to end of his time. Sorry, Neil. When did you last see Winston? I'm so sorry to be saying this and it's very distressing but you have to show selfless love.

So I'm going to ring Amber now and give her a bollocking. She'll have me put down next. I was going to say, it sounds like Neil would have you put down. They nearly had me off when I had that flu. They were sending me to Switzerland. Yeah. Spenny getting a text going, sorry now, Spencer, it's time to show some selfless love. Get rid of her. She's not going to recover from this well, you know.

It's really hard losing a pet. I know he's still with us, but it is really hard losing a pet. It is. It's going to, honestly, it's going to, I feel bad. I feel bad for Sven. I am going to, it's not going to be good. Even Bertie was like, where's Winnie? Who am I going to annoy?

when he was gone off in the vets for a couple of days. If he does go, we'll add a minute's silence at the end of one of the podcasts in his memory, if he does go. Or we can replay that coughing video. Is that too dark? Yeah, probably a bit. I actually got a vid before he went into the vet to show how bad he was so we could just overlay some nice music to that and offer him that silence. The tax of love is the pain of loss.

honestly but like I was honestly thinking to myself I was like I'm not getting another dog after this I am not touch wood like when he like he might he's on steroids now I'm giving him all I can but I just, I think, honestly, I don't think, I think I'll be so upset by this that I think I'll have to, I don't want another dog. No. Yeah, I understand it. That's the way I feel about relationships and parents. I wish I had none of them. I wish I'd never had any parents.

We should have just been spat into the earth alone. Alone. There's less to lose. I never want to be in love again. I can't bear losing it all. It's awful. A fish. I could probably cope with, I could, at this stage of my life now, a fish or a child because I know I'd go first. Fine. So I'd be like, haha, I'd give birth and I'd be like, haha, psych. See you later. Yeah, you're it. And then I'd be like, you're going to have to deal with losing me now, which would be nice.

I know, but I was thinking that because I was like, imagine I had another child. So if I did that, what age would I be? And then I'm like, oh my God, I'd be on the way out pretty early in their life because we're lucky. My mum is...

Well, she was in her 70s, I suppose. Yeah, but everything's different now. Society is different. And people live longer and people are having babies later in life because women are prioritising their career and then women are having a lot of children out of wedlock because women aren't...

settling to just get married to someone because we have more financial independence. It's a hell vibe. Geriatric mothers, we're cool. Yeah. I got my eggs checked the other day and she actually said to me, she was like, oh, you've got young ovaries. And... Yeah, and I was double dropping again. Remember I was double dropping last time. Maybe you're right. Sorry now. There's no maybe. So you've been, so medically tested, I've been proven correct medically. Twice. So I am right. Just to clarify.

Thank you. But the thing about it is the ovaries aren't old. So, and I think that that's to do with if you, if you, I don't know if it's true, if there's a doctor listening, they're probably like, here they bloody go again. I think if you get your period later, would that not suggest that you would, do you know what I mean?

I remember I was hanging around for my period for so many years. Oh, it could be, yeah, because you're like a slow start. Yeah. So you get more out of it. Yeah, that could be it. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. Anyway. Anyway, good luck on your journey. Thank you very much. Anything to add, Jo? I look forward to being wildly irritated by your next pregnancy.

Joanne will hang up the next time and she'll be like we'll be like let's kind of special moment show Joanne will be like fuck this I'm out I'll come back to the podcast when it's out

I was doing I'm on the road as we know and I was doing a show in Bournemouth last night and there was three very attractive straight men. in the front row. And me and Gerold were desperately trying to figure out how, why, what they were doing there. And I think one of them fancied me. Really? Statistically, it's fairly likely. I think one of them did, and now after the show, obviously, it does no longer. There's no way that crush will stay.

Obviously. You frightened it out of him. Oh, gee. Oh, fuck. She's intense. Yeah. He's like, oh, I thought that was all an act. Yeah, I think I should, if I see a hot man in the audience like that again, I'm just going to do an air of spoken word. I'm just, I'm just going to try and, I'm just going to really try and rein it all in. Or ask him to leave and say you'll meet him after. Groot said that he had spent his first five minutes of a set. dedicating it directly to them.

really yeah and so do they just disappear after I think you should and if that happens again now you know just say listen you're going to actually have to leave but if you wait at the side entrance I'll be out five minutes after the show and you can pop in for a drink yeah or maybe I'll go into the crowd

like one of those cruise singers and it's like sitting in their lap, you know. What's her name that everyone loves? Jane. Jane McDonald. Yeah. Cruising with Jane McDonald. Do you know that I was... I don't know if this will ever happen, but there was, I was offered a job on a sex cruise. I said yes. This can be my present.

Oh, great. Yeah, I said yes, but it's not till this summer, I think. But I don't know if... It never came back. Sometimes jobs come in and you never hear anything about them again. I was like... it would be an honour and a privilege. I was seeing a guy at the time when I was offered the job and he said, can I go? And I was like, I wouldn't see you from one end of the cruise to the next, you absolute feral dog. No. You can come, Val.

You'll probably be pregnant. And if I'm not, I might get myself pregnant on the ship. Yeah, and then they'll be like, right, well, we'll take the one that's not pregnant. So I'm like, thanks, guys. See you later, both. As I head off. I'll have you know there is pregnancy kinks. Thank you very much. I'm not pregnant, by the way. It sounds like I'm pregnant. No, I know you're not pregnant. I'm not pregnant. There's pregnancy kinks. Yeah, of course there is. There's kinks for everything.

I know, there really is. Oh my God, that would bring us so much joy. That would get weeks of content for us. You could just like, you could just drop some in every so often. I, you know what? I'm actually going to go back now and I'm going to...

follow up on that and find out what's happening with that because I need that to happen. And you need to come with me. We need it to happen. Yeah. I'll come with you, but like, I'm going to be the lurker in the, I'll be the wanker. I'm the wanker. No, I'll be the wanker in the corner. You can't come. Why? Spencer won't let you come on a sex cruise. Especially if you're pregnant. The optics are not good.

Spani will let me go on a sex cruise. I think the Daily Mail showbiz department would literally explode. I'm coming. Spenny, are you mad? Spenny would definitely let me on the sex group. He's worried that in later life I'm going to turn around and decide that I want to be worldly because I haven't been worldly enough in my life. Oh, okay. Yeah, that seems like a reasonable fear.

What happens at sea? What happens at sea? It's on international waters. Do whatever you want. Nothing is legal out there. You're not even married anymore out there on international waters. There's no contracts. That's why when someone dies at sea, it's really complicated. Really complicated because everyone's like, it's not our problem. And then, yeah, the police have to be involved and everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So just, if we just, let's just not die because it would be, just make everything very complicated. Oh, for God's sake, don't do that. Then I'll be stuck hanging around waiting for you. You don't, you know I don't have the patience for that. I'm not waiting. She's not dead. She just passed out. She'd be grand. She's grand. I'll wheel her off. She hasn't ridden in years. She's fine. She hasn't ridden anyone in years. She's exhausted.

She's obviously taken him out of town and had a ride half a bottle away. She'll be grand in three days. Just trying water over my face. She's thrilled. That's her happy face. By the way, I'm in Plymouth this week, this Thursday the 18th, which I haven't pushed at all because there was some issues with the venue and we didn't know if it was going to go ahead. So I am going to Plymouth and then Yeovil, my arch enemies. Can't wait to see you both.

Tickets available. Blah, blah, blah. I love that you're just, Joanne's just going to keep going back to you. She just will never, ever stop. There'll be one person in the audience. I don't care. I don't care. You won't beat me. It's the one that got away. I'm like, I'll just keep going back.

I'm close to my mum and want to be honest with her. But she is quite judgmental and there are a couple of things I know she's going to judge me for if I tell her about him. And although I wish I didn't care, I hate the thought of her talking to my sister and auntie about this. Like I know she has...

on other aspects of my life before. Oh, we all bitch about each other. Well, it's chat. It's discussion, really. Yeah. It's discussion. Like if Amber tells, if Amber does something, I'll ring my mum and tell her and tell my mum not to tell Amber. Yeah, it's human nature. We inform each other of what's going on, whether it be negative or positive.

Okay, for context, I broke up with my ex recently. We'd been together three and a half years, living together, have a dog, etc. The breakup was a long time coming and we are amicable and fully getting on with our individual lives now. When I got together with my now ex...

I was not long out of another three year relationship and the same again before that. So I've been in back to back relationships. I'm very aware that this isn't the ideal situation, but it has just fallen that way. And even if I'm not looking for someone, I get swept off my feet. Jesus. I would say that used to, well, that kind of, you know, I do think it's good to be single for a while because I didn't do that for a very long time and it was only when I was like 30 that I actually did it.

Each breakup I've had my mom always makes comments about how I should avoid meeting anyone for a while, taking a break, being alone. I even remember her making comments like this from when I was a teenager. I know she means well, but it's so frustrating because I'm not in any way trying to meet someone. It just happens organically. I've never even been on apps. Anyway, where the hell are you going out? Who is this woman?

Okay. Then if I do tell her, oh no, anyway, she doesn't know about my new man. And every time I see her, she keeps saying her proud she is of me for being alone. I'm in a new era. Oh, no. How it's what I'm ready for, etc. I feel really guilty not telling her, but I just know she'll be disappointed with me. We are becoming pretty serious now, and I know there's only so long I can put it off for. Then if I do tell her I'm considering lying about his age so the gap doesn't seem as big.

I've always been with older men, but this is the biggest gap so far. My mum certainly has no problems with my ex being 10 years older than me, but I also feel like he came across 10 years younger than he was. Ooh. Yeah. But that's how that works. Oh God. Wait for this. I'm 27 and my new guy is 47. Okay. Your mom isn't, my mom wouldn't be happy with that. Your mom's not going to be happy with that. Well, I follow a couple on Insta.

with a significant age gap. I don't know how I came across them. And he's, I mean, like, sorry now, but it is the stereotypical situation. He's older, significantly older. Fucking loaded. She's young and hot, but they seem to be genuinely madly in love. They really are. I can tell. Do you know what I mean? If something works, it works. Who are we to decide? Exactly.

No, ultimately the age gap doesn't make any difference to us. We are totally content and happy with each other and how things are going. We want the same things. We've already been on holiday together. Jesus Christ, you're very good at relationships. And overall has no impact on a relationship. Unlike my ex, this guy does look his age. And I feel like it makes my parents a bit of a shock to see me with someone who clearly looks physically so much older than me.

Oh, she's thinking of lying about the age and saying he's 40 instead. That's a white lie. I have figured out why she's so good at getting into relationships. She's obviously like a hot 27 year old. What 47 year old is not going to try and hook up with a hot 27 year old if he thinks he has a chance? If you're going for men who are 20 years older than you, like, you know, you know, like, of course, like, she's a young hot thing.

I'd probably, to be honest with you, I'd probably go out with a six-year-old. Like a decent one. Not an in-bits one. Like Kevin Costner. Isn't he like 67? I'm still mad about him. He's a new girlfriend. Raging. I don't know why I'm so upset about that. She's probably, if she's 27 going out to 47 year olds, she's probably quite mature for her age. We all knew couples like that growing up. We always had that one female friend who had that...

Boyfriend who was significantly older than the rest of us and the rest of our boyfriends. Didn't we? Yeah, well, I used to have a boyfriend that was older than me, but now Spenny's actually younger than me. I think 10 years older than me was the biggest age gap I ever had. Yeah, I think I had eight. But no, I would go, it just depends. Like, obviously...

Your mom is going to be pissed off. She just will be. You want your daughter. And the reason she wants you to be single is because she wants you to go out and live your life and have fun and everything like that. But some people aren't. Like, it's not like you're not having fun by being in a relationship, but I think people are built differently. Some people just enjoy being in relationships and that's just where they find themselves all the time. I think mothers as well, they're always...

They're always devil's advocate or something. They're like, if she sees you going into relationship after relationship after relationship, she's not you. She doesn't know how you feel. She doesn't know what you need. She thinks she does. But like, she's not in your head. She's not in your heart. So she just wants you to.

experience life without a boyfriend. I know girls who are married to the lads that they met when we were 15, 16. And they're happy. They're having a ball. Do you know what I mean? They've never had a period of single... but like they're fine it's not like you're yeah look I do think obviously I do think because I spend most of my time single but like I think it is really good to know how to be on your own and I do think it's an important skill to have so that you don't

Settle for shit when it's bad because you're nervous about being on your own. But that doesn't sound like what this woman is doing at all. Yeah. No. Well, I think there's no point in hiding it from your mum. It is what it is. And the longer you lie, the longer you get into it, it's just going to be a bit awkward. And you've been on holidays with all of them and stuff. I'd probably...

Just bite the bullet and let her know. You have to let her know. She's your mum. She's going to let her know. It probably will be awkward. She'll probably have a reaction. You just have to power through us. Send them in to Debbie Thomas now before they meet and she'll knock a few years off them. Grant. The laser lady. Yeah. Will Korea be an option? What was that plastic surgery thing? Tell him I meet him in South Korea.

What was the plastic surgery thing that you had? Remember months ago, we were talking about some weird plastic surgery place name. That I had. No, you didn't. Faceland in Amsterdam. Faceland! That was the one. Everyone's going over to get their blephs done.

They're bluffs. Ask him when he can sit again. It's bluffs done before he meets your mother. No, but seriously, I think some people are just really good at being in relationships. They don't, it's not like they're, they're not running scared towards people. And like being in relationships, it's lovely. Like it's hard being single. The companionship.

of relationship is lovely yeah your mum's gonna ultimately like when it comes down to it it's your life yeah exactly you have to live for yourself she'll be fine she just wants you to be happy in the olden days people lived for their parents not anymore No. We're punks now, she says, about to ring her mum again. Hiya.

When are you coming over? Yeah, what you doing? I had a dream last night that Pat was on a mobility scooter and I was pushing her around and then my phone beeped and her phone beeped at the same time and I realised that she was in my messages and I was like, Pat!

I said, how could you do that? And she's like, I'm sorry. I just wanted to know where you were. And I was like, but there's sexual stuff in there. There's sexual stuff. And she's like, I don't mind. I don't read everything. I was like, then I woke up and I was like, Jesus Christ. Who's sexual have you been texting?

Myself, my old Irish number just to keep things alive. She does. She actually sends me the odd one. I'm like, Joanne, I told you I don't want it anymore. I just need a release, folks. I'm taking this beautiful nude and I have nowhere to send it. I was like, don't open that. Just don't bother opening it. I just need it. I'm like one of those lads, a flasher. Do you know, you just get the, I just need to send it. Maybe just tell me what you're wearing.

Yeah, you're right, actually. I'll just, I'll go, I'll go to script it. See you later, everyone. Thanks, William, for listening. And do keep sending your emails in to Joanne. Hit it. Hello at mtgmpod.com. Oh, yeah. Thanks a million guys. Nailed us. Nailed us. I know it. I know it. Hello at mtgmpod.com.