MTGM EXTRA! "My friend's husband..."

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello, welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Goes To Me With Myself. Joanne McNally coming in from Derry and my partner Vogue Williams coming in from London. I'd like to point out that Joanne is currently in her office, I've just realised. Yeah. In my boffas. I'm here filing things and working in my boffas. I just see the point of standing outside of the boffas for you two.

And now I'm going to see you. I've had a morning and a half already. My God. Why? Oh, just some mornings. I dropped the kids to school and it's usually the nicest thing in the world. But Otto just wasn't having it today. And he was just whinging. He wanted me to carry him. So I have him on my shoulders with a scooter and a dog. It's...

I feel like I've kind of run a marathon and I've just come home and then he's starving. And I was like, you had breakfast. Anyway, this will be a good refresh. Mothering. Restart. Mothering. Restart. Mothering. Well, if it's any consolation, I had an awful night's sleep. I was dying to ask you about that because I'm not happy about it because I always feel bad for people who have a nice night's sleep. And I did mail Joe this morning. I was like, Joe, I'm just going to let you know. Bad night.

Joanne has been up till about half three in the morning it looks from her Insta she hasn't slept we might have to move the pod well no no no I'd always get up and and martyr myself and power through like a trooper but I I did that thing where I was very tired yesterday before the show. I'm in Derry. So I bashed a giant can of Red Bull for that fake sweet energy. That poisonous energy. And then the wings really kicked in about 1am. And then that was it.

tossing and turning and yeah too hot you know hotel rooms they're either like you're either like what is with the anyway they just can't regulate themselves hotel rooms emotionally physically Heat-wise. But you know what I watched a lot of last night? You've obviously seen it because I was talking about it on Insta. Have you heard of the Murdoch murders, Vogue? I have, yeah.

Oh, great. So for anyone who hasn't heard, the Murdoch murders are, it's a true crime. It's a true crime beauty from South Carolina in the States about a very well-to-do legal family. who got themselves into a lot of trouble, which is the understatement of the century. Basically, everyone's dead. And I listened to the podcast years ago, then there was a documentary on efforts, and now there's a serialised, dramatised version.

on Disney Plus and it's very good. That's my little rack for today. Disney are pulling out all the stops lately, aren't they? They actually are doing a really good job. They've loads of good stuff coming in. Did you see that documentary that's going to come out on Caroline Flack?

and everything that happened to her around the time of her death. And my managing company looked after her and one of my manager... looked after her and she's part of the documentary and she just is like it is the wildest thing to watch and Spenny interviewed her mom recently like yesterday I think and he was just like if you hear the story it is just crazy what went on and how things changed and like what she had to go through and like

God, it's just so awful when you just, but like stuff like that still goes on. To be honest, I have seen the advertising for the new Carly Black documentary and I was surprised that there was still more to be told of that story. I thought that was kind of done and dusted.

Well, I don't think the public really know. Like, obviously she had a massive, she had like so much trolling and abuse online, but also it's around the way the police handled it and how they brought a case to CPS that was never... actually a case and how she was just kind of made an example of and how the papers ran pictures of that scene when that's actually not what the scene was but they made it look like it was something else.

don't know if they go into that because you and I know about that but I don't know if it's public knowledge. I think, are you talking about the blood? I think, it's a bit graphic but wasn't that her own blood and it looks like in the photo that it was her... partner's blood that she'd drawn that from him. Yeah. Yeah, I do. I do remember that. But I mean, I'll be watching. I was a big Caroline Flack fan.

And I think it's awful what happened to her. God love her. It's just desperate. Yeah, so I'm definitely going to watch that. I'm reading a book. Let me give you a book record.

Like yourself, I couldn't sleep a few nights ago. That was the night Svenny woke me up three times. And usually I just, I'm like, okay, I'll read a book. But like, you know, when you finish a really good book and then you're like, I have to start a new book. I hate starting new books because I just want it to be good. This book from the start. Now, I haven't finished it. So if it gets really bad, don't blame me. But one good thing.

It's so good. It's by Alexandra Potter. And I, from the second page, I was like, I really like this book. And that never happens. Literally from the second page, I was like, I'm going to enjoy reading this. And I am. Nearly halfway through. Still love it. Very wholesome. Yeah. So there's a little racco. I feel better already. You're not saying racco, Vogue? Please, no, I can't. My ears are bleeding. Joanne.

If I want to give a rec out after having my brekkie before I go on my halliers to Scotland, I will. It's so annoying. I know. I hate me too. I'm sorry, but it's the person I am. I'm sorry. We can fix that, folks. You don't have to say it. I don't know if I can. I don't know who's making you feel you have to. Joanne, I've tried to get help. I have tried. And I just haven't been able to. Not enough.

I love it. I'm happy to be involved. I'm happy to fund it. Okay. If there's a clinic we can send her to, to treat. I'm going back to Marco. I'm going back to Marco. To treat abbreviations. I'm willing to chip in. I'm willing to do it. I've done hours of CBT. It hasn't helped. I don't know where I go to next. I'm sorry. I was on a program for it and it just hasn't worked out well. What about that therapy that they put...

You look at beeps. You look at red dots with your eyes. I've heard that's really good. Do you know that one I'm talking about? Do you want me to get a lobotomy? It's for trauma. So either you got it or I got it. One of us is going to have to get it. Because if this continues, I'm going to be in there for PTSD. It's going to be me going to mark out for PTSD.

I'm waking up. That's why I couldn't sleep last night. It was just a image of you going sassos, sassos, sassos, sassos. I don't, I do, I do say, listen, do you know what? The worst thing that I say, and actually when I say it, I'm like, I call Sven O'Dada. And I'm like, please stop, please, please stop, please anything. I can't take it anymore. And it comes out of my mouth. I'm like, stop calling them data in front of people. Stop doing it. I think a lot of parents call each other.

mommy and daddy. I mean, it's quite an 80s thing, I think, but I've heard the term bandied around between parents. I know. It's funny that, I wouldn't know what's okay in your book now. I'm surprised that you're okay with that. That would be a real trigger for me.

Because it's, because it's a true status. Like, I mean, to be honest, if I had to choose, I wouldn't mind you calling me daddy if we got rid of Wreck-O. Is that an option? Can we shop one at eight? If I get rid of Wreck-O and I call you daddy.

I'm sorry, I could. Do you know, it's because I lived in Australia. Stop slagging off the Australians. You're about to go on tour there. Don't slag their abbreviations. That's where I got it from. Well, I mean, I hate to break the news, but I also lived in Australia. Okay, Joan, how long did you live there for? Because I was a real native. You're not. Fine. Same as me. That's fine. You obviously weren't hanging out.

You obviously went there and weren't even a real Australian because you only hung out with Irish people. I was hanging out with Australians. You're in the underbelly of the Aussie culture, clearly. I get it. Absolutely, yeah. I was a proper Oz Australian. Starting to relearn your own language. By the way. I had an Australian dog, by the way. Winnie. Yeah.

When he's almost, did you never hear the accent? He's the one who kept saying rack out. I know, it was him. It was when he saw sales that started it all, to be honest. Joanne finished him off because she couldn't take it anymore.

Stop. That's terrible. Speaking of Desi Plus, and I think we should do a more substantial discussion on the main, but just, I can't, I can't not bring it up at this point. Have you seen the reviews of Oldsfare with your podcast? Yes. I'm sorry. Did I speak to you about this already? No. Did I speak to you about it? No. Okay, listen, here's right. I'm not even paid to say this. I'm done now. I wasn't allowed to talk about it until it came out. What did people expect? It's everything.

I want it. I'm on F2. I have them downloaded. I'm going to Scotland today. I have them downloaded for the plane. It's like... You're not going to get something more heavy hitting than like selling Sunset. It's that kind of vibe. It's like a courtroom drama full of amazing archive clothes. Is it ridiculous? Yes, it is.

Do I absolutely love it? Have you watched it? It is, I adore it. I think people were expecting Law and Order or something. It's like, no, no, no, no, no. That's never what it was going to be. It's Kim Kardashian in a show producing it. Sorry, just to explain what we're talking about. It has been...

universally panned. It has zero percent on Rotten Tomatoes. The Guardian gave it zero stars, which I'm not sure if that's ever been done before. And they're kind of saying it's not even... I hate watch it's just unwatchable it's almost like it's the worst TV show ever made it's really bottom of the barrel but folk I agree with you I'm going to give it a go I'm going to give it a go and I think it's going to be is it like

I was about to compare it to Dynasty, which is actually highly offensive to Dynasty, but I'm going to give it a go. I think it's that ridiculous style TV show. I mean, Kris Jenner is exec producer, like you say. You want to see the PJs they're on. It's amazing. All the jewellery, like it's like this, the houses they're in, it's mental. And it's just like, it's so outrageously out of this world that I love it. And I love watching TV.

and just sit and kind of just melt into the couch. I want mindless TV. Spence sits there watching Ed Gein's. I can't sleep after that shit. I don't want to see someone having sex with dead bodies. I don't want to see it. I want to see Kim Kardashian in an 80s parachute. Yeah. And also, I have to say, as someone who is, you know, doing a bit of acting myself at the moment, Kim K's acting style is very much my brand. Yeah.

I like that kind of deadpan, clearly reading an autocue with one eye, delivering the line with the other. Absolutely no facial reaction, no movement. Very... I would say, what would you say? Reassuring. You know exactly what you're going to get. There's going to be no big rollercoaster emotionally. No highs and lows. She says hello, goodnight with the same energy like I've just been murdered. I love it.

Tell you what, if they asked me to be in Series 2, I'd jump at the chance. And do you know what else? I'd do it for free. That's how much I'd love to do it. Obviously, I'd do anything with Kim Kardashian. But I'm just saying, it's not just because I love Kim Kardashian. It's because, like, you've got Glenn Close, you've got Naomi Watts. Strange that they're in it, yes, but they're in it. You've got Sarah Paulson, who's a brilliant...

character in it I just think it's I think it's really really funny and I think people are just expecting some like high end like drama I don't think I would call it a drama myself it's really really it's just it's it's it's funny in parts Anyway, I think everyone should just give it a go. Watch one. I loved it. I'm desperate to know what that cast is getting paid because let's face it, Glenn Close being in that is like, I mean...

What's it like? It's like you getting paid to cut the ribbon on a nativity play. Like, it's like, what is it? You know, it's... It's beneath her. Sorry, it's beneath her. I'm sorry. I just, I struggle really now to tear it apart. I've enjoyed it. And if that says a lot about me, I don't care. I just want Mindless TV. I don't watch TV to like learn stuff. I just want to chill. I read my books to learn stuff, okay? It's like we join a circus. It's just unexpected.

I actually, do you know what? That's your homework this weekend and listeners as well. Oh no, it's not the weekend. That's your homework this week. It's a midweek watch. It's fine. Just watch one and we can all decide what we all think about it. But I would just like to say, I'm not saying... it's gonna like you're not gonna learn anything from it but I think that you're just gonna sit and chill and enjoy it and kind of giggle away to it

I just have to finish watching the Murdoch family get murdered and then I will move straight on to Kim K manning a legal office. I will reverse. Okay. Well, I'm excited to hear what you think.

Hi, ladies and Joe. If you're back from vacationing again. Yeah, Joe. Always on holidays, that one. He's a great life. Big fan, etc, etc. And he's always crying, but he's a great life. Fantastic life. Always crying for himself. Giving out about his life. Great life. I'd say the bag's never unpacked. So what if some holidays are to a mental institution show? You're still getting out and about. Okay. Okay.

I have a big problem. When my son started school, it obviously took some time to get to know the other parents, etc. I finally got friends with another mom. Super fun person, etc. I really like her. Then... In comes her husband. When I say my jaw dropped like I was drooling. He's the most beautiful man I've ever seen. I'm not alone. Lots of the mom fancies him. But I mean, I have inappropriate thoughts about them. Yeah, okay. Well, thoughts is fine. Yeah.

Recently, we were over in the house and me and him got chatting more than usual and got on really well. He started hugging me, holding me around the waist. There obviously had been drinks, but it was so flirty. I don't think he thinks anything of it. He's probably just a flirt. but I can't be thinking this about him right I love my friend and this is so wrong you might be asking but what about your relationship situation

And this doesn't say the best about that, to which I can tell you that you are totally right. My husband and I have been having lots of issues lately and haven't been intimate in a long time. So is that just someone has shown me affection that I'm, well, let's call a spade a spade, obsessing and man... Oh, I was going to say man-baiting. And masturbating over him. Oh, yeah. Rough. Rough to the races. I'll tell you one thing. Joanne never stops doing that about Spencer. Never stops.

why do you think she's got so many products for that masturbating stuff she's always at it one breaks down thinking about him his ears are always burning I'm in the middle of it now If you wouldn't mind hurrying up and just get back to it. You're interrupting it. You're interrupting my span, Paul. How can I stay friends with him if I feel like this? We're planning holidays next summer. Don't go the fucking holidays, that's for sure.

I would say a lot of that has to do with you and your husband having problems and you obviously really are probably quite horny at the moment if you're not getting intimate. So you kind of have to start looking after yourself a bit more. You don't want to think about your husband because he's pissing you off anyway, that that would ruin the game for you. And I think that this new fella is in the bank for you and you want to think about him.

It's awkward, yeah, but I wouldn't. God, it could get real bad now. That could turn messy. I think this happens all the time. I'd say this is like classic 101. Friends. fancying each other's partners. I'd say...

That happens all the time. And I'd say a lot of affairs happen because of it. Because ultimately, your partner long term, you're bored of them after a while. And then you fresh meat that you get to know. It's the way when we were younger, you'd always fancy your boyfriend's friends because they were around.

that well so you could flirt with them there was always a bit of the unknown there it was always a bit of strange I'd say it happens all the time that's where I don't that's where I'm never going to get married I'd be constantly accusing my husband of fancying my mates because they're fantastic I fancy them I just think

that. Even when you're married, it doesn't mean that your brain just switches off and you just don't think someone's attractive anymore. It's completely normal to think people are attractive. That wouldn't even really bother me.

I would think, just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can look at the menu. I always say that. You can't look at the menu. You can always think that somebody's attractive. Just don't do it in front of your partner. Be staring someone out of it. Don't let them see.

Just because you have one job doesn't mean you can't get a second one. Well, you shouldn't get the second job, but you can go for the interview. Sorry. You can go for the interview. You're right. Sorry. Well, you can scroll through LinkedIn. But maybe don't go for the interview. Send a CB possibly after a drink. Well, okay. Okay, well, yeah, yeah. But the truth is...

You're like he was flirting. Of course he was. Like, I don't mean to piss into his wife's cornflakes, but attractive men like that, I mean, come on. If you're an attractive person, you get a lot of your validation from being attractive. That muscle.

That muscle doesn't go away. If that's where your validation comes from, you need that for the rest of your life. I've seen it in people. I've seen, I've dealt with people whose, their thing is that they're attractive. And so then that becomes their entire thing. And then I watch them. kind of search that out socially and it's like oh okay I've seen it happen so yeah I'd say he was definitely flirting with you the holiday might be ill-advised I mean keep us in the loop

I don't think you'd even like the holiday if you went on it. You wouldn't like it. If I was around an attractive husband who was flirting with me, I'd probably, you know, get involved creatively. Not physically, creatively maybe get involved. Yeah, yeah. This all makes sense. Yeah, she wants to feel, she makes her feel attractive. She makes him feel attractive.

Boom. So good luck with that. Let us know how it progresses. Think about the consequences. Think about the consequences of taking that into the railroad. Think about that. Just enjoy the fertilization. I would say. Yeah. The consequences aren't worth it. Sorry, you couldn't. Jesus, imagine waking up with the fear now. You read it all the time. My husband ran off at my best friend. My wife ran off at my best friend. They're always running.

No one ever just leaves on foot at a normal pace. They're always lagging it. It happens all the time. Next email, Joanne. The future for Joanne Vogue. Hi girls and Jo.

I worked in hotels and receptions for many years and have many a good story, but one that has always stuck with me is this one. I was working the morning shift on reception and a couple came to check out. They did not have a happy face, so I knew a complaint was coming and it did. They were livid. Asked me why we would put them near a hen party when we knew they were a couple and wanted a quiet night. They could not believe...

we would have put them right bang in the middle of the hen night. Now this hotel was a very old-fashioned hotel. Hen nights were not really our thing. So I was confused. There was no hen night in last night. What were they talking about? So I told them to go and have breakfast and I will check the cameras and see what was going on and have some sort of answer for them. Well, I checked the cameras and I couldn't believe what I saw.

There had been a group of women in-house for an 80th birthday and they decided to play Ding Dong Ditch on their way to bed at 2am. So I watched on the camera as three of the women knocked on this couple's door, then tried to run away. However, they did not make it very far, which was not surprising, especially considering one, we will call her Betty, was on a Zimmer frame.

Fessy was the birthday girl. I know this, as there were balloons and a naked inflatable man tied to her Zimmer frame. That's hilarious. Betty knocked on the door tried to run away but fell over with her Zimmer frame on top of her I can only describe her as looking like an upside down turtle she couldn't get up her legs were in the air her Zimmer frame was shaking with the laughing and she was doing she was doing

and as for her friends, we'll call them Biddy and Arlene, they were a little less than helpful. They were laughing so hard that Biddy crashed into a different door and went flying onto the floor. There was a moment where they stopped laughing as Biddy wasn't moving. But then she stuck the hand... in the air and chaos ensued once more. Eileen was crossing her legs trying not to have an accident and Betty was still on her back on the floor not able to get up. Eventually

Fessy was able to get up, but Biddy and Eileen could only continue by crawling on the floor. Fessy then proceeded to knock on the door and try it all again. This went on for a long... time so I can only imagine how loud this was if you're in the room they were outside so of course when the couple returned looking for answers I was speechless I did not know how to describe to them what I saw so I let them look on the camera and they both just turned to me and said

Well, fair enough then. We all agree that we hope we have that much fun for our 80th birthdays. So ladies, whenever I think of this story, I can just picture the two of you like this for your 80th birthdays. And I very much hope it will be like, I will be like that too. That is so funny. It also reminds me of a different hotel where an active retirement group were staying and the barman had to submit a written complaint about the bruises on his bum from them pinching him.

Way past every single time. Oh, my God. Let that energy find me. Let that elderly energy find me. That would just be, wouldn't that be, I have an auntie called Betty and she has a walking tip, not a Zimmer friend. Could be that Betty. She would be up to stuff like that. Let that energy find me.

Like, I hope I never stop. That's my dream for myself. I know. It's good. I really do. I don't think I will, to be honest. And Vogue, you'll come back at some stage. Come back from where? Retirement. You know the way you go to bed at six and all.

I think, I don't know, I think you've another wind in you at some point. You know, maybe when you turn 80. This would have been going on at 10 o'clock. Yeah, you'd be gone to bed. This isn't three in the morning. You'd be in getting your prune juice from your care or getting your nappy changed. You'll be on your eighth nap. Yeah. Getting your bed sore as tell to you. Getting turned. I'll be out drunk rolling the hallway.

enjoying my life. I will never understand how Joanne made it unscathed to 80 and I'm fucked. I know. I'll be like, folks, she's long dead. She's in brine. Pass me the helium balloon. What are the balloons called the kids do? The gas. Gas balloons, that's it. Laughing gas. I'd be dragging the tank around the cafeteria with me off my chops. With just a face of you stuck to a balloon.

Remember? She's dead. That would suggest I'm halfway through my life right now. Don't send me over the edge. I'm trying to have a nice day here. I'm getting to 95. I've decided. Thank you so much for listening. We will see you on the main on Friday. Please keep sending your emails to hello at mggmpod.com and like and subscribe. This has been a Global Player original production.