MTGM EXTRA! "He might like to try pegging..."

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Goes With Me. And when I say we have had one of the greatest emails of all time. Don't oversell it. It's top three, Joanne. It is top three. It's pretty epic. Do you think I look like Mala? I said to Joe, he doesn't know what Mala is. Mala's plasticine. But do you think I look like that? Is that just me seeing that on the screen? Well, you do. Your skin looks insanely...

Perfect. Have I put a filter on this by some miraculous way? I hope so. You possibly have. You might be being filtered at the moment. I look like I have gone back to my Facetune days and I've just rubbed out my nose again. You do look weirdly good. I don't look this good. I just checked.

I saw my cigarette and I checked and I said, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Something's wrong with the laptop. Imagine there is no filter and you're just like, oh, my God, I look so good. I've been accidentally filtered. This is like when I was in Cape Town and Ross, my friend who was with me, took photos and he put them up.

I was like, God, I look amazing. I was like, did you fucking filter them, Ross? Did you face tune them? He's like, no. I was like, you did. He's like, I might have done a little bit of fidgeting. I was like, tell me. Because now I'm an accidental catfish. Do you know what I mean? You can do it. You can do it like this. No one's doing anything without a Paris filter. Come on, let's be honest. Oh God. Everyone gets the Paris. Yeah, I'm not raw dogging it on the internet. Are you mad at 42?

I'll Paris my fucking coffee. I just, everything gets Paris. It's just a twitch. I'm like, picture Paris, picture Paris. Yeah, it has to be. Are we talking about the Kardashians or not? I didn't bring you back. You didn't bring me back.

Well, because I was in the taxi and I thought the taxi driver would think I was shown off talking about Keith Kardashian. Time stood. Okay, I'll give context. Excuse me. Oh, wow. I... As any listener will know, I have a deep, probably... strange and scary obsession with the Kardashians. I've loved them since day one. I particularly am fond of Kim Kardashian. She is just like, I just love her. I'm sorry. And I'm not sorry as well. She is my, I love her. She's my idol.

Some people choose Mother Teresa. I say Kim Kardashian. And I got to Disney, asked me to interview her for her new show, All's Fair. And I was interviewing Sarah Paulson, Naomi Watts, Nisi Nash and Tiana Taylor and Kim Kardashian, who is... my dream so the whole week was kind of like i was just in this just like not myself because i was so nervous and so anxious about meeting her anyway went to the premiere we spoke about that and time stood still not just for me

for everyone. Really? Now, I'd say she's mullet-faced, like, oh, natural. Not natural, I mean, obviously she's doing her bits and bobs, but I'd say up close she's got quite a perfect look. I thought she'd be more mullet.

To be honest, that's what everyone was most excited about. To see what she smelled like. She kind of smelled like leather because she was wearing a leather dress. But she wasn't as mauled as I thought she'd be. I thought she was going to have layers and layers, like what I look like now. listeners can't see but layers and layers of makeup on and like you wouldn't really be able to see her actual features but she didn't look like that. That's refreshing.

Now, she'd love to make them on, but so did I. Yeah, but you forget that these people have pores. Do you know what I mean? You're like, yeah, these people have pores. I didn't see a pore. I didn't suggest a pore. Christ, I didn't see a line or a pore, obviously. Sorry. So she walked onto the carpet and I've done those red carpet things. Someone said to me as well, they were like, we invited Joanne, but she's on tour. And I was like, this would be Joanne McNally's idea.

of actual hell. I was like, she would not want to do a red carpet. No, I'm not a red carpet girly. I've just not. I don't like them. I said to her I was like sometimes when we walk out of Global there might be a pop and she'll literally sprint like I've never seen a sprint I do a red carpet if it's a show I'm in myself but I wouldn't go to that much effort and work for something I'm not in

in just to get a little gassy image. Couldn't be arsed. So here's my thing. I... have realized that i like working at things and like that's how i go and do it and then i'll get my pictures taken but but when she came onto the carpet it was like everyone just just held their breath and ever like

everybody just turned around and stopped what they were doing, turned around and just stared at her. And I was like, that is, I have never seen it with anyone else. And I've seen famous people on the red carpet. Nobody near. what she did. It was like, it was like everybody was just waiting for her. It was mental. She's kind of like a hot Jesus, isn't she? Yeah, she's hot Jesus. Is she like a hot Jesus? Is that like, is that an insane?

analogy she is probably the most famous woman alive is she I think so she's got 350 million Instagram followers I'd follow her onto the arc she's like Noah Noah and his arc even after all the Starbucks and the fucking Even after all her controversy, she's still got 350 million. Do you remember people trying to get her cancelled? What was she getting cancelled for? It's like trying to cancel the moon. Like, you can't cancel her. She's just too big.

He can't cancel Kim Kardashian. But I saw Kris Jenner as well up close. Go on. How's the facelift looking? Let's get into the big news, the important stuff. Can you see the stitches? Are there staples? How are the scars? Well, have you seen all that stuff that's gone around? And it's like, this is what her facelift actually looks like without all the filters. Yes. Not true. Now, she was wearing sunglasses. I will. And everyone looks hotter with sunglasses. And it does.

hide a lot but she looked unreal she didn't have wrinkles and stuff like that her face was taut and this guy that i was with from disney had said to her because he goes to all of them he was like oh my god you look amazing and she goes i know

That's what I say now. She does. She had this fella going around with this massive light as well, taking her pictures. But I got caught in a really uncomfortable position because I was up at this podium and I was talking to Sarah Paulson, who's really, really funny. She's an actress in it.

The thing I will say, and I loved doing it, but like you have to stick to certain questions when you're doing stuff like this. Like, you know, if we had someone on the pod or something like that, we'd just be like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever. You can do whatever you want. You have to kind of like you can sneak a few bits in, but you have to be very.

careful there's people all over the place but um so she came over to me and I like I was I was unusually calm but I felt like I was sorry I've lost track who are we talking about now Kim oh sorry I'll tell you about the awkward moment sorry first the awkward moment before so I'm interviewing Sarah Paulson then on my other side is Kris Jenner and her and Sarah Paulson are talking but they're talking quite close and I'm just kind of literally

landing there in the middle of them just being like, and one's at one shoulder and one's at the other shoulder. And then like they're talking about going to Chloe's house and that like they wanted to meet Chloe. And I was like, can I come? And I'm trying to get home. Did you do that thing? Remember?

Do you remember I did that in a dressing room once to someone and you were there? I'm not going to say their name. Do you remember? No. You do. You do. Do you remember we went and she said she was going for lunch with Demi Moore. And I, jokingly, to kind of break the ice because it felt like such an insane name drop, was like, oh, can I come? Ha ha. And she said, no, no, no, it's just... Yeah, she treated it like it was a genuine question.

Oh, God. No, no, no. I don't think so. Pick me. Pick me, pick me. I'm obviously taking the piss. So you had one of those moments. I'm delighted. I had one of those moments where I was in the middle of the two of them. But anyway.

What could you do? Like, I'm like, I'm honestly like, I'm like a sewer rat. Yeah. You have to fill your time. That's what I think part of those jobs that make them really difficult is there's a lot of... filler you have to feel a lot of stuff whether it be time or you have to there's a lot of time you're kind of standing on your own you know you have to kind of look relaxed all the time yeah yeah yeah because I'd be licking the walls I know but I did have a bit of help

with my beta blocker but Kim came over then and so basically we were up on this podium all had been set up for her and the lighting you've never seen lighting like this at a premiere I was mad about myself until I got off the podium and then I realised I was ugly again maybe this is why you look so good maybe you've just been touched by the Kardashians maybe you've just rubbed off them

And a little bit of their, I don't know, a little bit of their beauty is kind of latched onto your face. She's been anointed. You've been anointed. You're like a vision now. Like you're one of Nock. Like that woman of Nock. I was going to say like the Hocus Pocus girls. Yeah. Different reference points. Do you mean death becomes her? No, in Hocus Pocus where Beth Middle sucks the youth out of the kids. Yes. You're like the witches.

Yeah, I'm part of their covent. Is it a covenant or a covent? Convent? Covenant? You should know you're in it. You've joined the Kardashian convent. Keep us in the loop. Oh my God, I'm going to be getting younger by the day. But then we had to, they were like, Kim can't walk up the stairs. She couldn't walk in the dress. So we had to, we all like running down, like making sure that we got her. So I only got her. The other two people beside me didn't get her. So I was absolutely thrilled.

And then everyone was so happy for me from Disney because they knew how obsessed I was. And they were like, it was like I had won the lottery. They're like, well, I'm so happy for you. Are you saying that two other people got all dolled up and did their bits and bobs, got onto the red carpet and then didn't get to interview her?

They got everyone else. They didn't get him. It's not very practical to wear a dress that you can't use stairs in. She's always doing this shit show. Remember she wore a thing of bandages before? She was just bandaged up like a sprained ankle. I did ask her, I was like, at the Met Gala now, could you see or not? And she goes, why would I need to see? I was like, that's an iconic answer. Everyone just parts. The sea parts. People part. People do part. She is some kind of messiah.

Maybe, maybe. Was she born around Easter time? Why would I need to see? That is hilarious. Did we think Jesus would come back and drive a Tesla? No. No, we didn't. Did we think Jesus would come back and have five Lamborghinis repeatedly given away by Kanye West? No. The world works in mysterious ways.

Well, anyway, I'm still on a high. But then, you know, I came down real hard on Thursday. I was like, I've never had anything like it because I had a busy week anyway. But like, it was like I crashed and like, I have to do something.

On Thursday morning, I had to be really on form. So I managed to get through that. But after that, I was like, my brain is not working. That is it. It's on holidays now. And I've started to feel normal again today. But I think when you've, I put so much pressure on myself because I was so nervous about it.

That, yeah, I kind of just died yesterday. It's weird. It was like I was hung over, but I hadn't drank. Yeah, it's your social battery. I had a day off yesterday. No day work, no night work. So a full 24 hours off. I woke up at half ten in the morning, went absolutely not, went straight back to sleep. Woke up again at half twelve, went to the cage, watched two films, opened a bottle of wine at four, drank half of it, had three packets of crisps, made some calls.

Didn't answer a single call. Tried to call me half pissed. Yeah. She wasn't having it. Didn't accept a single inbound call, cancelled all inbound calls, made a couple of outbound calls, then finished the bottle of wine, took a nap.

Sent some emails that I've been putting off for a while. Woke back up again, watched two more films, had a margarita, went back to sleep. When I say I've eaten, I don't know how many packets of crisps. There's crisps everywhere in the flat. There's bags of them everywhere. It was one of the most glorious days of my adult life.

The two of you are actually interrupting my morning. I'm in the middle of listening to Lily Allen's new album. Oh! Well, well, well. Is it loads about the ex? It's all about the breakdown of a marriage. People are saying it's like a masterclass. A friend of mine texted me saying David Harbour is literally deleting his Spotify and throwing his...

phone in the Hudson. It is amazing. I don't like him for her though. I don't like him for her. If you didn't like him before, if you didn't like him before, you're certainly not going to like him now. It's brilliant. Lily.

Fire. Chef's kiss. It's fantastic. Do you know what we discussed? We discussed there's two ways of dealing with... fuckheads like him you either take the high road and say nothing and we always respect that we're like fair play to her she's bitten her tongue and said nothing or you do what Lily Allen does and write a whole album about it I kind of

think she's been quite classy about it though as well I don't think that she well I haven't listened to the album I think that she hasn't she hasn't gone in that hard on him on the press considering what he did Firstly, sorry, just to clarify, this isn't a class thing. I think this is wonderful what she's doing. I just think there's two ways of handling a situation and I'm in awe of both of them because we're out here dealing with these lads and, you know, it's an absolute head...

out. She basically sectioned herself afterwards. That's how much it affected her. But this is worse. forward what happened. It starts at the very beginning of their relationship where they moved to New York and bought a brownstone and she got cast in that play. The first song is called West End Girl. She got cast in the play as the lead in the play and she says that he was weird about it and she flew home and that song

finishes with a phone call from him where he's basically saying, I want to open the marriage. Oh my God. And then we're in. And we're away.

I mean like it's just but you know as well I think for her I always think success is great revenge as well and she's been so successful since when she's like she got like everyone thought she was amazing in a play she's doing another play now she got this album I like I love that for her this is phenomenal it's phenomenal in fact I need to wrap this up because I need to go back and finish it

Honestly, Lily, like, fair play. Because you know the way, like, we've worked with people before Vogue where they're like, don't, you know, don't drag other people into, like, a public spat and don't, you know, and it is good advice. But my God, this is all so.

I just really admire her. Do you know what? I'm kind of jealous of her in a way because there's been loads of times where I have wanted to, both of you know that as well, that I have wanted to speak out publicly on certain things. And I just, I'm always told not to and just told to leave her because if you speak out, it just is worse. Makes it worse.

it just dragged more press into it and like when you're going through a hard time with something and you can't stop it because you can't actually come out and tell the truth about it you just hope people will know that loads of the shit is bullshit and you can't do it so I'm kind of jealous that she can do it because I'm more of a

Keep your mind short. It will go away. You know what your own truth is. But at the same time, I just want to be like, no. Yeah, but she's taking revenge on her ex-husband, which is different. You're trying to, you've been on the receiving end of rumours that weren't true, that you were trying. to get your side across. Whereas this is only Lily's side. She's speaking her truth and it's about her ex-husband because he absolutely destroyed her.

Do you know what I mean? And he's no comeback because all of it's true. It's not like she's... Exactly. All of it will have gone through legal and stuff like that because you have to if you're speaking about something so like... There's a whole song called Madeline. I don't know if that's the real woman's name, but the song is called Madeline. The song before it stops with, who the fuck is Madeline? And then the next song is all about Madeline. Like, it's brilliant.

Well done, Lily. God, I can't wait. We love. Well done, Lily. I think it's one of the best albums she's ever brought out, even though I haven't finished listening to it, because obviously, you know, I'm always bad into adultery. Dear Joanne,

Joe, on what is about to be a proud, distressed Vogue. Oh, I'm scared. Oh, yeah. I know. You should brace yourself, too. I know that I will meet you guys in an upcoming event but would love to tell you this in person just to see the reaction but my Catholic shame is too great. My boyfriend had a few drinks in him once and our conversation got very intimate. On the topic of fantasies, he nervously suggested that he might like to try pegging. Fair enough. We're in. Yeah, fine. We're in.

My people-pleasing habits are such that I rushed to reassure him that this was absolutely not an unusual request. Sure, isn't there a Pornhub category for it? Well, actually, I don't know. Do you know? There probably is. Of course there is. There's a porn category for like soup. Do you know what I mean? Is there? I must check it out. You know what I mean. And I'd have no qualms with it at all.

In my vain effort to come across as nonchalant, I even ordered the necessary equipment that night and emotionally prepped for the next few days. Amazon. Bless them. Next day delivery. Emergency pegging. Done. Yeah. You can probably get that on Zap now, to be honest. I've got loads of stuff on there. I'll make something from the kitchen utensil cupboard. You don't want it to break mid-peg. That sounds like I peg. I've never done it, I swear.

Never know, I might do in the future. On the night in question, we needed a few drinks to loosen up. But when it came down to it, it was really something we could only manage with the lights very low. embarrassment was high, confidence and trust were tested and lube was a plenty. Let me repeat that important tip. Lube was a plenty. Afterwards, I nipped to the loo, sit in the dark and stripped off, leaving all equipment there to be dealt with in the morning.

I was absolutely wrecked. Turns out the male hip thrust is not something the female pelvis is built for. Hold on, hold on. I need to, I need to, I need to understand that. Sorry, read that line to me again. I was absolutely wrecked. Turns out the male hip thrust is not something the female pelvis is built for. Okay, because I'm not good with logistics. I'm not good with logistics. So she's thrusting it and she's not thrusting hard enough. Is that it?

She's done herself a mischief. She's knackered. Okay. Yeah, got it in my hat. Okay. Next morning, I woke up very smug. I was obviously such a cool girlfriend. This man had not only trusted me with his fantasy, but allowed himself to be so vulnerable with me. I was determined to continue the morning casually and not make a big deal of the whole experience. Bleary-eyed, I went to the bathroom, pausing to try process the browned...

Handprint on my white bathroom door. As I raised my hand up to assess it, I was shocked and disturbed to see how brown my hand was also. To such an extent, I turned back to the bed to check if my boyfriend still had his intestine intact. Such was the extent of the smearing. Oh God, yeah. Yeah. Listen, you fuck around, you'll find out. Do you know what I mean? Well... This is where we've got to stay strapped in. Okay, fine. Okay. Oh.

To my absolute horror, I saw what can only be described as a murder scene on the bed, except it wasn't red, it was brown, and yet the smell was extremely pleasant. Oh! Uh... Going over to the brown-smeared locker drawer, I realised to my horror that the large bottle of lube remained intact, but my ultra-dark... Bear by vote. No! Descimated! Oh my god. My God. My.

Arousing from his slumber after a hard night of it, my boyfriend sat up to the image of me naked with slashes of dark brown across my tummy and thighs. The bedsheets mangled into a brown frenzy and his poor arse. Well, let's just say he didn't expose himself for a considerable length of time, but at least the fade was even and there wasn't a streak to be seen. Needless to say.

That was the end of the kink pursuits, but on occasion I like to slap on some Bear by Vogue just as a micro-power trip and laugh hysterically as I do it. So thank you, Vogue, for the multifaceted product. I hope I made you proud. Have you not seen the face mist? That is shaped like a phallic. Is it? I haven't. Yeah. You could have used the tan, the ultra dark and the phallic face mist. Oh my God. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I feel like we have to issue a warning. Don't insert.

bear by vogue face mist into yourself please don't do that Jo, it's you or you to tell women what they can do with Vogue's Face Mist. I'm just saying we're not recommending you do it. This is a female-led podcast. Don't mansplain to them how they can get off. Put whatever you want in there. That's fine. Is there any way I could put this on Trustpilot or something? Just... Yeah, it can be used as lube. While not recommended, it has been known to be used. Many uses. Yeah.

Does Bear By Vote come with, does it say, not for internal use? I think that's kind of self-explanatory when you, like, be surprised. Well, I am surprised. Oh, it does come out of your sheets, by the way, so don't worry about that. Well done. Fantastic. Scratch. You're welcome. What a great email. Thank you. And aren't you lucky it wasn't the other thing? That wouldn't have been great. No, it could have been worse. I think you just need to stand this woman some Bear by Vogue.

I will send her some new ultra dark, Jo. You have to get her addressed. I don't even need to know her name. I won't know your name. Don't worry. I know it's probably a personal topic. He's kindly shared with so many people.

I fair play to you for doing the pegging. Fair play. Pat yourself in the back. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it is kind to take people's needs on like that. You know? Yeah, I don't know if I'd have that in my head. I would. I'd do it. Would you do? Would you do pegging? Yeah, yeah. Would you? Yeah, if someone I was madly in love with... That sounds like a woman who has done pegging. No, no, but if someone I was madly in love with was like... I'd be like...

Yeah, I'm not going to write anything off. Do you know what I mean? And he can tan my back while we're at it. Yeah, because I don't have anyone to tan my back at the moment, which is a real loss for me. Yeah. Thank you so much for that email. Really and truly thank you. And well done again. Yeah, well done. You should be proud of yourself. What a sexual deviant you are. I love that for you. A streak-free sexual deviant.

I think pegging is actually more common than we think it is. I was on TikTok yesterday on my day of glory and there was... a couple talking a straight couple talking about pegging and people were accusing him of being gay and she's like he's not gay I'm a woman he just likes to get pegged doesn't mean he's gay you know Listen, everyone has a different... Different strokes, different folks. Yes, yes. Different tan lines. Could you? Could you say that? I think that's really how that works.

No, no, it's 2025. Fuck it. That's like me saying, oh, Jeffrey Dahmer. She's like, you could say I'm a serial killer. I'm not, but you could say it. Do you mind, McNally? If I want to say I'm a pegger, I'm a pegger. Yeah, whatever you want. Whatever you want, folks. You're right. Thank you. Thank you. That's it for the bonus. Thanks a million for listening. I've been Joanne McNally. She remains to be Vogue Williams.

Pegger extraordinaire, allegedly. Thank you, Peggy Williams. Peggy Williams. And we would recommend, when using bear by lube, bear by lube. Ah, that's so funny. Thank you. I sense a name change. A bear balloon. We'd recommend using a tanning mist rather than a... hanging instruments but look that's just me