A Series of Wild Claims

This is a Global Player original podcast.

Welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with myself, Joanne McNally, and my work wife and athlete, Bill Williams. have to say i think there is something nice going on at the moment and i think perhaps climate change has a part to play in it so of course nice but bad um That we're having a very mild winter so far. Are we? I feel like we always, yeah, but we always get... It is autumn. It's not winter. It's definitely autumn. I know, but we get like...

This happened last year. It's Winter Wonderland on Thursday. I'm going to Winter Wonderland on Thursday and that's when the weather turns. That's when it's absolutely bitter. No one knows why, but that's just the day. It's like they set up, they're ready to go and then everyone freezes.

The weather waits for Vogue to go to Winter Wonderland and then it knows that it's time to change. Like the sun waits until you're doing your leave insert to come out. Is it an autumn show? Is that an opinion or a fact? It's awesome. December, January and February or winter. Hold on, isn't that up for debate? Don't some people say... It's not... Is that not a... I thought it was kind of people are like... There's something. Are you sure? Meteorological winter.

starts in December the 1st. So it's winter. It's meteorological autumn from September the 1st to November the 30th. So November is autumn. Yeah. It is. Oh my. I play a game with Gigi Joanne. Are you ready? I say, January, your turn. What's next? February? March? You? Okay, Vogue, you've made your point. What? Does she understand the seasons, though?

I certainly do. Do you know who doesn't? My mom. If I get another message about how nice the weather is in Spain. We get it, mom. You emigrated when I was 18. And since that day, since that day, you have sent me pictures about the weather. about the weather and how brilliant it is and how shite it is for us. Sandra's made some good life choices. You know, we've got to give it to her. Sometimes I do feel like I'm a person who should winter somewhere else, but then...

I absolutely do love, like I say, when it's mild like this, I love it. I'm not quite a pumpkin spice latte girl, but I like the aesthetic, the vibe, the leaves, the autumnalness.

The autumnal-ness I do enjoy, I will say. Although I think I'm going to Bangkok for New Year's. Are you? She just chucks these things at us like, what? I think I'm going to go large for, I think me and Brandon were talking about, I think I'm going to go large. I think I'm going to go to Bangkok for New Year's, yeah.

I think it's time. Jesus Christ. If you like this, it's the hangover. What was that part two when they all went to Bangkok? Yeah, that'll be it. Are you not going away for Christmas? I thought you were going away for Christmas to Tenerife. I am with the family. So that's going to be very, that would be, you know, games and like the occasional spritz. Although, what am I talking about? Pat's as big a lush as me. Yeah. The reason I am, for our listeners.

who can't see anything. And for our four YouTube followers, I am... Shut up, John. For our YouTube, that's... No, for the YouTube that's doing exceptionally well in these times. And we thank you for watching our YouTube. For our 12 YouTube subscribers, this one's for you. I'm wearing... No, no. There's more than that, thank you. Is there? Is it more than a hundred? It's more than a hundred. Is it? Less than with like.

Oh God, how embarrassing are we? Keeping us humble, you know? Keeping us grounded, show. You know? We started thinking we were great and then they were like, we'll show them. Fuck their YouTube. Yeah, exactly. We're like, hold on, are we? Are we maintaining a successful... No. Let's put them on YouTube once they fall flat on their face. Are we? Do subscribe. If you didn't realise that that's available, do subscribe on YouTube now.

So go on Quagmire tell us what are you going to say? I look like Quagmire at the moment. I am wearing large sunglasses and a baseball cap. I am hiding my face because I've had A little bit of work done. Okay. Let me guess. Let me guess where you went. You're in Ireland.

I'm in Ireland. You hit up Katrina, Katrina Institute of Dermatology. Am I right? I did indeed. I did indeed. I'm going to tell you what I had done. Okay. I'm going to read out what I had done. You know, I don't like you being sly and getting stuff without me knowing. This tour has already added years to my face and I'm only on it a month. Well, I've done 44 shows so far. 44. Can you believe that? Jesus. So anyway, so I feel it in my face and I'm very much...

Vogue, you know I have terrible habits on the road and I was doing very well, but I've fallen into my wine and crisp spiral. It's very much wine and crisp land of the moment, which I'm kind of, I'm going to climb my way back out of. Anyway, I sent a video of my face to Katrina and I was like, help! So she said, come in, stat. She sent an ambulance for me. Just my face. She just sent my face in an icebox. The rest of you followed after. Yeah, in an icebox, like a heart on the back of a motorbike.

Get and donate it. But I'll read out what I heard. Do you reckon if you went to give blood, they'd be like, no thanks, even though there's a shortage, you'd show up to the blood plank and they'd be like, you're all right, we're desperate, but we're not that desperate. I don't have any blood, it's all filler now. There's no blood in my body anymore. Okay, tell us, why are your... Jowls. I know, yes, yes, I understand what you're asking me. I wasn't going to say jowls.

I got the fish semen in the under eyes, but I don't know what they're feeding the fish, but this one's three times stronger than the last one. So the semen is hard. Is that what they said? Three times stronger? Three times. Wow. Yeah. I know. You wouldn't want to be taking that. Some very turned on fish. Sexually, would you? Three times. Is there a smell off, you know, with the fish? No, Travogue, there's no smell. she's obsessed with smells and then i have oh

I'd like you to describe me in three words one day. I want to know what you'd describe me as. Obsessed with smells? I think. That needs a thought for sure. It needs a thought, yeah. I had ultra, all therapy, all therapy, lower face, fill out high contraction to under eyes is what I've had. So basically they, and it was spicy. It was spicy.

But like I said to Vicky, who was doing it, as I said, holding back tears, I said, no pain, no gain. It wasn't actually that bad. But they basically, this goes lower than Botox, but it's like they electrocute your face. Oh, I know that thing. Six months time. I'm going to be snatched to the gods. And then, of course, my under eyes will be. like a child. Gina went and got something like that done and she fainted because it was so painful and she had just been eaten.

And she was driving home and they were like, you're going to have to have a Coke and some crisps before you leave. What did she guess? I don't know, something similar to that. But Spenny only said to me there in Africa, because I got that MD ultra laser with Debbie Thomas that I love getting. And he was like, what's the deal like? Your face is normal for about like two weeks of the month. And I was like, yeah.

So what? That's just the way it is. Yeah, and the rest we're investing in our future selves. And we have to walk around like fugitives. But that's... fine because it's all going to a good place because there's two days of the year we look fantastic and the rest is downtime.

That is so true. It's totally worth it. Because whenever anyone says to me, whenever I get anything done, they're like, you need a bit of time and I'm like, sure. And then I just walk straight out and go into a photo shoot or something. I just never listen to you. So do I. And that one time, do you remember that one time where I didn't listen and I should have listened and I think I'd had my lips. I think I'd had a bit of judge in the lips. Anyway, went in and...

They did a really good job. It was just, I didn't give it the downtime. Had a photo shoot and you always think you look normal, don't you? Yeah. And I was tagged, it was tagged in the photo by the BBC. They put them up before I'd seen them. And to say, I nearly rang the front desk. I looked. Do you know that cat woman who died recently? Oh, yeah, you didn't look. You always think you look worse than you do. You didn't look like that cat woman.

I actually, before the cat woman started getting work done, I actually do look like her. A lot of people sent her to me. I do look like her. But I was like a very bloated cat. And I rang. I was like. I was DMing the BBC and I was ringing the BBC and I was like, remove. And they did in fairness to them. They did take it in.

They did. They had to. Everyone was like, oh God, it's that one photo. I'll show it to you now. Hold on. Have it here. I've just gotten to the point where I'm just like, I just kind of lose interest in...

I just don't care enough to have it removed. I wish I was one of those people that like, even today I was cycling my bike home. I was doing voiceovers for Ferry in town and I was cycling my bike home and I was thinking of people and I was like, they're always so glad they'd never be on a bike. Thinking of loads of people and I'm like, they're so...

never be on a bike never see them on a bike you know it's just me going around on my bike with my helmet and you we need to be more glam get a call send the call do you want the photo yeah Oh my God, I think you look like Amber. Does she not look like Amber there? Jo, I'm sorry now. Look at this. I know people can't see it.

Well, they can't if they're on the YouTube. I don't know if I can say this. Bit of Leslie Ash. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I know what you're saying. That time that she got the... But can I say your hair looks great? Right. Yeah. Hair is fine. Yeah. But it was, it was, it was an alarming, it was a sobering moment. So yeah. So anyway, this is one of those times where there is downtime required and that's why I'm in disguise.

But wait until six. Give it six months. Wait until you see the study. Jo, set something in your diary there. Six months time. We have to compliment Joanne on how good she looks. Yeah, set an alarm. Set an alarm, Joe. Put it in. Yeah, put it in the diary. The 11th of May then. The 11th of May. Oh, current facts. Very important.

My Australia and New Zealand tour is now on sale. Melbourne, Christchurch, Dwellington, Auckland, Brisbane, Perth, Sydney. Next April, 2026. JoanneMcNally.com. I'm coming for you, baby. I told you I'd come. You want to tell me about your week? We sometimes do that. We sometimes do not. But I want to know about your week. I've been all over the place. I've been in Derry. I was in Liverpool. Can I just say they're both a vibe. Derry is a vibe. Derry is more.

Have you been to Derry? Did we do Ghost in Derry? No, I've been to Derry with I went to Derry with Elizabeth Day before. Oh, God. I had a boyfriend from Derry, a Derry boyfriend. Did you? Who was studying to be a doctor. Yeah, and I always wonder if he's still alive. Dr. Dave.

Yeah. Alive? Why would he be dead? Was he dying? I don't know. I just always wonder about him because I tried to Google him once because I think I was talking about him in my book or something and I was like, I wonder if he's alive, Dr. Dave. Or he succumbed. He was 79 at the time. Yeah, it's like how much older was this sugar daddy? A lot of money.

Derry's a cool town. It's got loads of these gorgeous little pubs that you want to dissolve into and spend the day sinking pints. Do you know what I mean? And then Liverpool. Liverpool is a vibe.

Yeah, it's a great city. It's a different place. It is savage. I was like, why was... and I coming to Liverpool on these girl weekends when you always see the Scouse girls going up to London in their rollers on the train with their little bottles of Prosecco I don't know why they bother their hell leaving it's absolutely savage it was pumping they're so glamorous It was pumping every place. It was like a really autumnal Ibiza, if that's fair to say.

Yeah, but up north is, they're all like that up north. They all just have this, like, they couldn't give a shite. Liverpool's up north. It's not. Yes, it is. Liverpool's not northern. Liverpool is northern. Where do you think it is, Joanne? No, Newcastle's up north. So is Liverpool. It also is. No, it's just north of London, but they're not northerners. Liverpool wouldn't say they're northerners. No, there are northerners.

They are northerners. Scousers are going to have to disagree with you quite aggressively. No. I know, Scousers. We're very close, confident friends, confidants and friends. Okay, okay. Well, when is winter? When is winter? You've made some outrageous claims today. I don't know what's going on. She's a flat earther. It's what's happened. She is a flat earther. And now it's just extending into... If the earth is round, why are we falling off it, folk? I mean, I've asked you this a minute.

million times and you can't answer. So I won't have my politics questioned. They are the biggest users of tan, by the way, up north. They're the biggest users of tan above Ireland. So up north is the biggest users and then Ireland are big. Yeah, I was mortified that I didn't have a curly blow dry done for my Liverpool show. I was in the Empire. By the way. sorry this is what I meant to say Derry wall to wall vag the least amount of men in the audience again it was the same for Prosecco

Same this time around. Liverpool was a mixed bag. I couldn't really see them, to be honest. It was very dark in the other room, but they were absolutely savage. Great audience. I wish I could do another show. Do you want? Sorry. I can't say recco and you're on here talking about vag. Where's the line? Where? I don't like vag. Recco. Recco is the line. We've established it. Vag is my line. Vag is my line. Sorry. You're right. You're right. Water wall room.

It's better, I think, isn't it? In like three months time, Joanne's going to come on here giving me some recos. She'll be like, oh no. She'll be like, no, it's cool now because I've said it. Well, I am announcing my Australia tour dates quite soon, so I will be appealing to that audience. You wouldn't know what. I'd be wearing Flame and Galat t-shirts and all for the next three months. I'll tell you what, you won't be appealing to them. I am going to do your Australian.

Tours. Tours nights. Folk, I would, and Joe, I'm going to ask you, I know you won't come, that's why I feel safe in asking you. To Australia? No. Folk, would you please take me on a girls' trip to Liverpool, please? I will. Girls trips are...

Good for the soul. I just went on a girls trip for my, we did another 40th trip. I'm sorry, but it was, everyone was involved. It wasn't just me. And then Amber and Megan tagged along as well. But we went up to Glen Afric, which you've been to before, which you have to come again. And we all just are like, it's just good for the soul to be away with your friends, to just all be hanging out and to just be having such a laugh. Like I just, my cup feels full.

You know, when you're like, you haven't a pot to piss in and you're trying to fly somewhere. So you have to do all that, like those 60 hour round trips, even though it's only a one hour flight. And you're like, you're going over Iceland and all to come back to Scotland from Dublin. Yeah. I don't know how.

many days it took me to get there but I really wanted to go I would love to wake up in a really fancy five star hotel in Liverpool get a curly blow dry get my hair and makeup done get dolled up to the like a dog's dinner and go to the Ivy for the day in Liverpool I was looking at I was taking photos of the outside of the Ivy it looked stunning we can go to the Ivy in London yeah let's go somewhere else in Liverpool that's like

And there's loads of lads. There's fucking loads of lads up there. I'll go look at her whispering so no one else knows. I'll tell you, do you know what as well? And this is a tip to the single girls, right? Because I get asked a lot about where their single lads are in London. I'm like, I do not know. I do know. They're in the Devonshire pub in Soho. War to war.

I'm not going to say it. That's a lovely pub. Even I, for a non-pubber, that's the only place. Ryan Tuberley lives in there. He actually doesn't even have an apartment in London. He just lives in the Devonshire pub. It's Irish Sound and it is. best Guinness in London and it is war to war lads

I mean, I don't know why, how. I don't know, has he grown them in there himself? I don't know if they ever leave. I don't know if they're there against their will. I don't know if he's rented them. But I'm telling you now, girls. Tell you now, girls. If you want to tell you. And you want a little flirt? Get your ass in there. I couldn't get over it. Or go to Park Run in Battersea Park. I'm not coming back to life, you know. Oh really? But I thought you weren't dating until...

December 9th? No, are we not holding out for that? I saw you out, by the way, the other night. Yeah, no, I saw you out the other night and I wonder if your man-to-be saw that you were out. I was like, he's going to see that and say, that little bitch.

That little bitch told me she wasn't free until the 9th of December. There she is out in the Devonshire. I haven't spoken to him since we made that arrangement. Little does he know I'm going to completely follow up with that in the morning of the 9th. He'll be like, tell me the plan, please. Marcus. Should we give a shout out to Michael D Higgins? Ah, Michael.

Disappointing you didn't invite us for any of the parties is the only bad thing I'm going to say. We are disappointed we never got invited to any of the parties, but we're willing to look past that because... Two terms as the Irish president. You were so kind and you left the house on Monday. You left it. And you know what? We didn't even have to take anything off your deposit. You left it spotless.

As usual we're six weeks behind the podcast so by the time this airs Catherine Connolly will probably have finished her term also and will be leaving the Well she might give us an invite By the time this airs she'll have had her inauguration there was no invitation to that Joe, you know Michael D. Higgins, don't you? Michael D. D., Irish president. I do know Michael D. Higgins. Wonderful side old man, white hair. Yeah. Michael's wife, Sabina.

Because for ages, no one wanted, we didn't feel that the new presidential candidates were really up to much, up to scratch. And we were kind of spoiled with Michael D'Higgins because I really loved him. And he was, you know, he was a great representation of the country and he was just kind of... very, what would we say? He just, he just, just a kind, he's wholesome, he was kind and he was just like,

He just had the right way about everything and he was just on the right side of most things that he was talking about. He was. Yeah, he was. We were like, oh, would we not let him stay, let him stay. But you can only do two terms, I'm pretty sure. So we have to go two or three terms. But then I was thinking myself, he should probably stay. And then I saw a video of Sabina, his wife.

When I say, she's being interviewed by Wirtini's about the fact that they were leaving. When I say she was buzzing to go, she was practically spinning and twirling with the excitement. And I was like, oh. She's like, it's non-stop. It's 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It never ends. And she's like, I'll get you home. I can't wait to go home. And I was like, oh my God, this woman can't wait to get out of there.

Well, it's not her house. Yeah, but it looks like a cold house now. And I need to know the energy rating before I decided to move in there. Because if there's one thing I can't stand, it's being cold. And I reckon that has got a BER rating. of D or less and it wouldn't be for me. I won't accept. I won't accept. We're playing their heating bills, aren't we? Anyway, he has two huge Bernese mountain dogs. I think one of them's dead.

One of them died, yeah, but he still has one left. Yeah, so he had these two Bernese mountain dogs, one left. But did you see all the people turned up with their Bernese mountain dogs as... Yeah, as he was leaving. Yeah, I know, it's the cutest thing!

It was cute. So cute. I know. It was like this kind of presidential cruft. It was gorgeous. Anyway, Michael, good luck to you in your next job. There was a lineup released, Vogue. It rhymes with... Fungal. Oh, I know. I love watching I'm a Celeb. Is that what you're talking about? Yes. Are you a celebrity? Are you? Do you have a fungal infection? Did you not see that they were... No, did you see the whole line-up was released yesterday? Was it the whole line-up though?

Yeah, it was released yesterday. ITV released it and it was in the Daily Mail. And I looked at it and I thought, what a nice gang. What a nice gang. I love H. Ruby Wax who's your top to win that you saw in the line up yesterday well I'm a big fan of everyone in there actually I'm not that's not true but I'll keep my opinions to myself

One person I would like to, one person I'd be fascinated to get to know better would be Ruby Wax. I'm a big Ruby Wax fan. Do you remember her 90s chat show? She was off the, she's as mad as a box of frogs in a fun way, in a nice way. I mean, I know she's also had some very serious mental health struggles.

and continues to do so. I just mean that I loved her style of comedy and interviewing. What I like about people is when they're interesting but they're also interested. So like they want to, it's not, she's not just going to, I don't feel like she'd be going on about herself all the time. I think she'd actually get to know people which means then you get to know people. I read Ruby Rox's book, Frazzled. It was very good. She's very, like, she talks, the way she talks about her parents at all.

She had a bad relationship, didn't she? Yeah, very bad. Yeah, she's been through a lot. God, you're lucky with your parents. Aren't we lucky with our parents that they're so sad? Very blessed, yeah. We really are. Yeah, Jesus. I'm obviously not lucky with the dead ones.

I don't know. Do you know my dad's dead? Like, oh God, I don't want to get it wrong, but he's dead. Tomorrow, Wednesday is his anniversary. I think he's gone 17 years and it's not mad. How long has your dad gone? Which one? I don't know. The dead one. Oh, that one. I can't keep them. I can't hold on to the father for any more of them. I've lost two fathers now. I mean, that's just careless. One, you can forgive. Two, come on now. You're not even trying, Joanne. Do you know, I was reading a...

Miling class in the Sunday Times weekend was talking about her stalker actually it was terrible I had no idea she went through all that but they were mentioning her time in Celebrity Jungle. And remember the white, remember she had that iconic moment where she had this white bikini and she was like under the waterfall and she's got, her body is insane to be fair. She auctioned off that bikini for seven and a half grand. If you went in, what would you auction off in there?

Your boots. My bikini. Those boots. Your bikini. My water bottle. How have I thought it? I think the bikini's a little sexy. There's a little sassiness to it. Auctioning off a boot, you know. We're not Elvis. I don't think anyone would be that arsed. If you had to pick out of that group. Like, oh my God, do you want McNally's shoelaces? That's what happened.

I'm just saying, I'd rather, I'd get more use out of the boot, to be honest with you. Do you know any of them in there? Have you ever met any of them? I met H at Glastonbury because I'm quite a big fan of his. I like his music and he was really nice. H from Steps is in there, is he? H, a rapper. Oh. I met Martin Kemp. He's always very nice. Kelly Brook, know her. That's kind of it.

I worked with Martin Kemp and his wife, Shirley. They were doing... She's very nice as well. Lovely woman. We were doing that interiors for a charity interior show that Alan Carr hosts with the... The blind bear whose name I can never remember. The bear. Pudsy. Pudsy. And your man with the eye patch. All the blind bear. Yeah. That fellow with the eye patch.

You and I are just finishing off each other's sentences like no one's business. And I remember asking, I had heard this rumor that Roman Kemp, Martin and Shirley's son. Yeah. was also very nice very nice man was given by George Michael it was his godfather and that George Michael gave him the royalties of one of his songs as his Present. Yeah, so within 30 seconds of meeting Martin and Shirley Kemp, I asked them straight away, was it true? And? And it is not true.

I know. I know. Joe, cut that out. It's nicer to think, cut that out. I like pretending things. I'm just like, this AI stuff is... Just let something be real. I've heard it rumoured that his last Christmas, the song by Wow. Ah, yeah, right. Which made Roman Kemp a billionaire. Billionaire, yeah. Otto better not be getting any ideas about royalties or anything. He'll be getting his credit union 100 quid a year like everyone else.

okay that's all he's getting make sure he knows oh he is have you did you set him up in a cage yeah ring Lauren Alexa back to ring Lauren Backdate it. He's three now. So you owe him a few. Right? Just give me 20 grand and I'll look after it till he's 18. I'm so ticked. I'll be like, alright.

One of my other godchildren, I sent him money to buy a pair of runners, but I had no real reason to do it. And he said, oh, why? And I went, secondary scale. And he's like, it started that last year, aren't you, do you want? And I was like, do you want the money or not? I need to discuss something with you. Oh, God. What have I stolen now?

You never steal anything. You just leave stuff behind. And you haven't been over in a while. So like, it's feeling pretty light down there, to be honest. I'm waiting for that jumper, that fabulous jumper you had on. One day I'll have that. That's why I didn't even look. I didn't ask you where it's from. Doesn't matter to me because I know I'll get my hands on it one day. But no. So obviously Winston died. We've just collected his. What?

Why did you tell me? But Tom Brady, you know that? He was married to Giselle. He plays for the NFL. Can I just say, I am dying. to see how these two stories connect. I'm on the edge of my seat. cloned his dog so the dog he has now is not the old dog it's his new dog cloned from the old dog and to say I am seething with myself that like all I was thinking about was like is it weird to stuff him or not I should have been thinking get him cloned I didn't even consider it at the time and I'm

Honestly, I was thinking of flying to Australia and getting another Winnie. I could have just cloned him and had him here. Would you really do that? Joanne, did you meet Winston? Have you met Sir Winston? Of course I would have done that and I would have got you one too. Everyone wants a Winston. How does it work with the cloning? Would you still have called him Winston, the number two one? Would you call him Winston as well? My dad John has had the same dog.

for, as far as I know, for the last 30 years, because I picked him up when I was eight, took him for a walk. Sam. They're all called Sam. His dog is Sam. Next one's Sam. Next one's Sam. He must have had seven Sams. And if there's a new Sam, Sam's in the house now, a new Sam. Why not? Winston? Imagine having a Winston. And I could have made an absolute fortune because everyone would have taken a Winston. I have a feeling they've cloned Cher, you know. I think it's unethical. Here she goes again.

I think, I'm telling you, she is extremely high on some sort of substance. I'm telling you. She's high on filler. She's too, she's too. She's been around too long to look that well. I'm pretty sure she's, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a couple of versions of Cher floating around.

I'd tell Pat, if I could, I wouldn't care about the ethics, but I just wonder what version of Pat I'd get. Would it be like Pet Sematary where they come back kind of evil? I don't know. You know? Well, you don't know what personality... Supposedly, this will be for you, Joanne, there is a conspiracy theory with your man Tom Brady that he also cloned his own DNA 23 years ago and that they're in this experiment in North Carolina and supposedly...

Supposedly, this person is alive today and he has real physical traits towards him. And people actually think it's a guy called Drake May and he is a quarterback for the New England Patriots. And everyone's like, he cloned himself. And this is the problem. of his cloning. Now, I don't believe that because it is unethical to clone people. But like, I'm on the same page as you. I'd clone my mum too. It's not just having kids. People not just, did you not just have a kid 23 years ago?

No. Trying to deny paternity and he's like, I've been clowned. No? Okay. I'd clone my mum but I'd also have to clone Spencer's mum. Couldn't. Come on. And then once you start that, where does it end? Do you know what I mean? I'd be pretty happy with those two, to be honest with you. That's where it ends.

I just wonder what version, like when you clone an animal, like I'm not up on the science of it. What are they like? Are they kind of walking into walls? Remember Pet Sematary, that Stephen King book. and film which was brilliant and there was that weird witch it was built on I think it was indigenous land and they the pets who were buried there all came back to life and then the guy they lived on a main road

And then the guy, his son was killed by a truck and he buried the son in the pet cemetery. And then the son came back to life. But he wasn't the same. He was weird and evil. He was like Chucky doll vibes. I think I'd take Eva Pat. I wouldn't mind. I'd take Eva Pat. We just fight Lance, but she'd still be around. Once you add something, every time you open your mouth, Jo starts typing furiously just to flash.

it's necessary today she's on for a hat trick of wild scientific claims so Joanne 9-11 would you tell us about that please why would I put poison in my body I was watching There was a woman I was watching on TikTok the other day and she's had 11 children without a single scan, without any kind of medical intervention at all. with her children. And then, but she's on her 11th baby. She's 43. And heaven, Jesus. Someone was like, I'm guessing you didn't get the vaccine. She's like, well.

I'm telling you now, I'm not going to put poison into my children's bodies. But yeah, so she's never got a single scan. And then there's midwives underneath it going, this is really not recommended at all. And she's like, how dare you? You know, giving birth from us. I mean, she's... I mean, it is and it isn't. Also...

It's a very dangerous thing for women to go through. But I mean, 11 children. I was awake with my three children at 20 past six this morning. I'm thinking of, will I start playing classical music in the morning? Will that help? Will that help? Will it make my house a calmer place to be? 11 of them you must just be lose the hearing altogether 11 kids yeah and they're all kind of homeschooled and you know it's all quite you know earthy

Would you give her advice on the old homeschooling? Wouldn't be for me. Yeah, I'm like, time to tap dance inside. I would like to talk about something. Okay. Jo, this is for you. Jo, get ready, Jo. Okay, do I need to fact check it? Do we know if it's true? No, no, no, no. I just mean it's kind of male focused. Have you seen the new John Lewis Christmas ad? No. Oh, Jo. And I'm such a Christmassy person. I haven't seen it. It's basically it's.

I watched it and I was like, why am I crying? I didn't understand. Has that ever happened to you? I didn't understand. Will I watch it? Will I watch it quickly? Yeah. How long is it? Okay, give me two seconds. Okay, I've just watched it. Isn't it gorgeous? Isn't it so sad but beautiful? It's so nice. It's just so sad. Sorry, it's just so funny to watch someone watch it in real time. So basically, so I watched it and I like you both, I just started crying, but I was like,

I don't really know. They're so good at pulling on your heartstrings and I don't even know why or how. But then, so basically it's like this son and his father and they maybe don't really know how to communicate that well together. And then the son gets them this album that was...

when his dad was young and raving. I think it's Alison Limerick who sings it. And then it kind of takes him back into the memory of him raving and then he remembers all the memories of his son being born and his son growing up. Oh, it's... I know! But do you know what I thought was really nice? There's all this chat about this male loneliness epidemic and that men are really struggling at the moment. I thought it was kind of nice giving something for the lads.

So nice. And it's less whimsical than usual. It's not a very whimsical ad. Do you know what I mean? It's quite a real ad. Apparently they're saying it was inspired by that TV show Adolescence on Netflix but then John Lewis are saying it's not because they made this, they decided to make this last January before Adolescence came out. I thought it's very good it's very good speaking of men like

men and their feelings and all that kind of stuff. Spen is starting his run and he's doing his, they're basically, he's doing it for James' Place, which saves the lives of men in suicidal crisis. It's an amazing charity and he's starting his run. So he'll have started it on Thursday. is that he'll have done his first. It's basically, he's doing a triathlon.

in seven different continents and he's trying to break a world record by doing the fastest triathlon in Antarctica and he's also trying to do the fastest time doing seven triathlons in seven different continents so he starts that on Thursday and he's doing it for James's Place which is that brilliant Howdy.

And oh my God, I feel really sad after watching that ad. And yeah, so follow him. He'll have it all on his Instagram. Follow him and support if he can. It really is an amazing charity. But I'll tell you this much. He's a smart bastard because some husbands... they'll pull the golf cart and they'll head out for a weekend. He's managed to wangle three weeks away from the children under the guise of charity work because he can't even be angry at them. What a genius.

I always think because I actually get asked that question a lot. I'm like, well, because it's part of his work that he's doing something like this. Do you know what I mean? People go away to work all the time. And when I want to go away to work, he's back home being supportive of me. I'll have to start taking the blood.

bins and stuff out now which I don't like doing all his jobs that I don't like doing that he does I'm now going to have to take over them but anyway good luck to Spenny good luck see ya wouldn't want to be ya see ya wouldn't want to be ya fair play Fair play. Do we do any charity work, folks? I'm still getting your letters from UNICEF. I just opened them now. I'm like, oh, thank you. Are you? The money was only resting in my account, UNICEF. We get a little double whammy.

Put the glass back on. Jesus Christ. Look at her eyes, Joe. Show him. Show him. He'll get a fright. I was trying to wink at you. Because he's a man. He won't get it. Look. Okay. I see it. I do see it. It's going to a good place, Joe. You wait. For four hours on Christmas Day, I'm going to look bangin'. Speaking of supporting, did you see Ronaldo?

talking about his wife in the news the other day and he got absolutely rinsed because of it. I know about them because I watched her reality show on I can't remember what it was on and it was just like you're just watching this life that is just so far removed from anything that like just go on a private yacht the weekend like they have just like

Their life is wild, but I didn't see that. What did he say? He was asked why he loves his partner or why she is the one for him as such. And his answer was quite pragmatic, really. He said, she's obviously, she's beautiful and she's got a body that I really like. But that was sad with, you know, I mean, I think he's access to a lot of those kind of bodies. But he was like, she looks after me. She looks after the home. She looks after the kids. And it was very much.

how she makes me feel and how she looks after me and she, you know, accommodates my lifestyle and all this stuff. So, of course, the internet piled on straight away. They're like, me, me, me. She never mentions him. And then, of course, it got kind of... spiralled off into the manosphere, women were going mad. And when I saw it, I didn't know there was any backlash at all at the time. I just saw it when I was floating through the algorithm. And I did think, wow, that is a very...

self-centered take on your relationship. But then again, then the men were piling in and they were like, what's wrong with that? If you want to be looked after and if you want to have your house run by somebody and if you have the pick of all these women and they are your demand.

and she is at home raising the kids and she's doing all this and I don't know. I was just like, there was nothing about her. Yeah, but would you not say something about her? Yeah, would you not say something nice about her and her personality and what made you fall in love with her? Yeah, there wasn't a single thing about her.

Her character, her personality. Maybe her personality was shite. There you go. She actually does seem sound. No, she does seem sound. I think that that's a bit weird, but I suppose when, like, he has this, like, strange level of... fame that he doesn't really live in the same worlds that we live in so like maybe he's just like oh that's why that's why she she fits into my life yeah she supports me

He's spoiled as well. He could have anyone he wants. Do you know what I mean? So he's like, I'm going to have anyone I want. I'm going to go for someone who looks after me. I just thought it was a very interesting take. I was like, may that may that love never find me. But I do don't think I'm at risk of.

Ronaldo, basically, if you're listening to this, back off. I'm not interested. I don't enjoy your tape. John's not going to look after you, so forget about it. Forget about it, Ronaldo. Look elsewhere. Do you know what I mean? Would you not be like, well, actually, she's really kind and I love the way she...

sings in the garden in the evenings. I don't know. I've never been married. I don't know what people do. I know, but you would want somebody to say something. Like, Spenny did this really nice speech about me at our... My 40th birthday in London. And he did say those things about me, like being a great mother and like looking after the kids and like how like lovely our home was. But he also said very nice things about me as well and what he actually specifically liked.

in me as a person because at the end of the day you ought to be hanging out with somebody who you want to be your like best pal as well like I couldn't be with Sven if he wasn't like my best pal yeah like Renato was talking about his partner like he was just she was a hot nanny Like there was nothing he said about her that couldn't have been said about a hot nanny. You know what I mean? She is an absolute ride.

But I do think a lot of men do. I think they do crave. I do think they want to be looked after. And I think there's, you know, there's a lot of women out there who like to do it and are willing to do it, you know. I like looking after people in a sense, but I like looking after most people around me within my life, but not to the detriment of my own looking after.

That's it. You've got to look after yourself first. Put your own mask on first. Isn't that right? This is exactly it. Oh no, I do. Yeah, you're right. The airline says put your own mask on first. Put your kids on next. Before assisting. Yeah. Well, I'd like to give a little book recommendation. Oh, great. A pile of mine, full throttle. This book has come out and all of the money made from it, all the profits are going to his foundation and...

He's hilarious. So I can only imagine the book with all the stories about Eddie would also be hilarious. He's got the Eddie Jordan Foundation. So all the profits made are going to that. I'm sitting here thinking if he was a mate of yours, like... How come I just got invited to a house party to Amber and Megan? Would you not have invited me to a house party where Eddie Jordan was there, no? I'm like, hi, Sandra. Hi, Auntie Gina.

And suddenly you're off. Do you know if Eddie didn't invite you to his white party? Did he have a white party? I'm sorry. he had a white party yeah I was invited to the white party a couple of times I'd be very careful about that would have been right up your street now you could be having a big Sydney Sweeney moment there you'd want to clarify exactly what you mean by that White clothing, everybody. White clothing. Thank you.

Good to be clear. Good to be clear. Look, oh look, she's raging. She's only going for me because she wasn't advised the white party herself. The white party. Well, everybody, thank you for listening. That has been the podcast. Oh, well done. See you later. See you later. That was the podcast in case anyone was wondering what that was. Just what we did there. That was, yeah.

Please don't taste anything that Joanne said. What the fuck was that? Does anyone know what that was? Do you know what? I don't know what the fuck it was. I'm worried people are now going to start thinking it's summertime. Fucking hell. What was that joke? Do you know what this reminds me of? It reminds me of when I got that blow dry. You two little bitches there. I mean.

I'd say three times a month I get sent photos of Afghan hounds. That one really stuck. Some stuff you say and it just goes off into the ether. That's not going anywhere. I don't care. I'm actually quite happy about that. This has been a Global Player original production.