Laughing Through Life's Quirks: From Public Spaces to Strip Club Stories

So , jen , we've talked about all kinds of happy things with you and we've talked about , you know , things that bring you joy . We've done a lot . Now I want to know what gives you the it Public spaces , when you're out , when people place things . What gives you the ?

it . So many things , so many things . My biggest one is I cannot , for the life of me , stand the sound of people eating , cannot stand it . If you are remotely near me and I hear you nibbling on something , your teeth hitting the fork , I literally want to jump and just take that fork and put it in your forehead . I really do . I'm so sorry .

Eat crunchy food , I will have so many forks in my head . I only eat crunchy food when I'm eating many forks in my head .

I only eat crunchy food when I'm eating with people . I do find in restaurants we have music , we have noise . When I'm at home it's so quiet . What I started doing is , when my husband's not home , I turn on Alexa and I play music . He does not like that .

I'm like just pour the chips into a bowl . I don't like smacking like that , I can't handle . And talking with your mouth open I don't like that either .

Like I'm a please . I don't like the fork sound , my father-in-law doesn't , and it's like .

It's like fingernails on a chalkboard yeah , that , yeah mine is sucking of the teeth , I just want to knock your teeth through the back of your throat . You just spend like a whole hour just like get some gloss , get a water , pick , work your teeth do everything but suck your teeth for 45 stress minutes . What are we doing ?

what are we ?

doing the first time . It was cool . You're enjoying it the second time and now we're on the hour post meal . You're enjoying it again and you're sliding it around in your mouth with your tongue and I get to watch it and I don't like that and I'll just watch you .

No , I , I hear you and exactly I have crooked teeth . Stuff gets stuck in there . I hate sandwiches in public because then I feel like I have to go to the bathroom . But that's the thing . Go to the you went to .

You went to the bathroom where people do those things and look at their teeth . You're not just at the table while someone is eating , just elbow deep in your mouth hole trying to get whatever out of your molar like it's just too much , too much .

Oh , my god , oh my God , my , it is in public . I can't stand people that get too close to me , don't .

That was going to be mine yes not ever .

I don't .

I don't want you . I don't want to feel your breath on the back of my neck . Like , so real , how about ?

when people come up to your face when they're talking to you like even like friends . I would not care about friends , but in public . When you just met me , this happened a lot during COVID and I felt like people were trying to make a statement .

You have to sit by me when there's six chairs across the lobby that's empty , with nobody else . Why do you sit by me when it's just the two of us in the lobby ?

so it starts for me in the parking lot . Why did you park that to me ? It would be a whole parking lot full of empty parking spaces , and then I will . Starts there , right next to me , but a whole bunch of empty parking spaces , 105 parking spaces that are empty . You chose right next to me , why ?

and then then we get into the doctor's office and now back up , back up , top of them , parking right next to you . They come in at like that weird angle and they're angled right at you .

So you can barely even get in yeah , they're like a psychopath .

I used to have a lot of things you . You would leave little notes and tell something I have that Say you are like a shit person or something .

It's like cuter than that . I have them and you can put them on people's car . I got them for Christmas .

I think I need a little Snoopy doing a big old poop .

Make sure not to park by Jenny .

Yeah , we'll have cards .

What food did you hate as a child but you love now as an adult ? What food mine is ? Brussels sprouts . Hated them , shit . This kid loved them now and yeah hated asparagus .

I did not like the texture or anything and my husband made some and I'm like I made him buy asparagus yesterday the store because I was craving it . Now Like I crave it now .

I do . Second , though , the Brussels sprouts and the asparagus and the sweet potatoes . I didn't like any of that . As a kid , my mom would make Thanksgiving . I thought it was disgusting .

I love them all now , especially air fried . Wait , asparagus for Thanksgiving Kill Paul's hair , but that's not traditionally black . So now I'm intrigued . Asparagus for Thanksgiving Killed paws there , but that's not traditionally black so now I'm intrigued .

Asparagus for Thanksgiving . Yeah , at our house she would get out all the meat , cheese and pickles and snacks , but she would steam asparagus . We'd also have mashed potatoes and gravy , we'd have sweet potatoes , like all the traditional things , but she did steam asparagus . Hmm .

I didn't know that .

I never did no yeah .

But she did the steamed asparagus I never did . No , yeah , I think that is very foreign to me . That is so foreign to me .

We just do like roasted veggies for Thanksgiving , but I've never done just asparagus . I love asparagus .

I love it now , like this is my zone .

I'm learning something . What do you do for Thanksgiving ?

Aline , we do turkey . Mashed potatoes corn casserole we're from Kansas . Potatoes corn casserole we're from Kansas , so we're casserole people , but it's corn casserole , it's got macaroni cheese corn , cream , corn , that kind of stuff , basic sweet potatoes without marshmallows .

I was introduced to casseroles in the military . I didn't know what casserole was until I was about 20 years old . I'm very unfamiliar with the mashed potato thing at Thanksgiving . That's a new thing .

We're big mashed potatoes , no .

So standard Thanksgiving for me . We have dressing , we have the starches , but it's not a mashed potato . We'll have the sweet potatoes and it'll be diabetes in the pan , like real talk . Delicious , yum , yum , caroni , that'll probably clog all of your arteries . Same , how's the vegetables ? But they're not roasted . So there's going to be some collards .

Just go around asparagus .

I didn't get introduced to that until I don't know I was in my degree . Program would be . In truth . I'm like what is this asparagus shenanigans had never seen it , had never tasted it until probably 24 25 . I'm like this thing exists and I actually like it .

Mine was wrapped in in bacon , though before I went vegan , yeah mine , was wrapped in bacon it's so have you not had it wrapped in bacon ? At restaurants they do it .

So good , I'm going to have to tell you . He does Parmesan cheese and garlic and he puts it in our pizza oven in the cast iron , to cook . Oh my gosh .

Have him wrap it , have him still season it , that way .

Have him .

Wrap it in bacon yeah . Wrinkle the Parmesan on top yeah , put it in the old pizza thing .

I'm living by Carrie . I need to have him go thaw some elk steaks out now because that sounds really good with it .

We'll take the asparagus and put cream cheese all over ham and then wrap the asparagus inside of the ham Like cooked , like steamed .

Or just raw , pickled , pickled , pickled , pickled . Oh okay , love pickled asparagus . I've never had it , I haven't .

Cream cheese .

Does it taste pickly ?

And ham . You lost me at the cream cheese and ham portion .

Same . I don't really eat ham .

I love pickles but I don't really care for other things pickled , so to me it's not my kind of thing . But I know my mother-in-law loves it Funeral potatoes so I've never had funeral potatoes , but I've had bereavement spaghetti .

Because Black people , that's what we're going to bring . Somebody dies . We're bringing you masticoli , some penne . Why ? Because you can stretch it . You could feed your whole family .

We do bereavement pasta .

The funeral potatoes ? I've never heard about that . Is that like the round ? It's like picture , like hash browns okay , what else do they put in there ?

I've never seen this before . It's like a cheesy thing here . Let me find it .

This looks like mac and cheese . It has onion , hash browns , condensed cream of chicken soup , sour cream or plain Greek yogurt , parmesan cheese , salt and pepper , sharp cheddar cheese and , to top it all off , when you bake it and you want this crunchy on the top crushed cornflakes cereal or panko breadcrumbs .

My mother-in-law makes that , but that's not .

This is going to sound real racist and I don't mean it to sound racist . But what is with the crunching of the cereal , the cornflakes , on stuff , guys , and baking it ? Like my mind , I can't conceptualize what is the cornflake for ? Okay , because it doesn't add flavor .

It's not a seasoning , like where you put panko breadcrumbs on things to make it crust , that crunchy . I guess cornflakes as you can buy them cheaper that might be a . Is that a Midwestern thing ? I feel like that's a Midwesternern thing . I think it's a midwestern thing . Yeah , that's , that's something .

The older ladies would cook stuff like that . So have you never had fried ice cream ?

god , I love fried ice cream no , it literally is fried with this crunchy sweet , almost like like they roll corn flakes they roll it .

So they freeze it like deep , deep is that , and they and they roll it in cereal croutons .

Basically , well , I've had ice cream with corn flakes in it , like cereal , like frosted on the ice cream , is no freeze , roll it in there , flash cook it real quick it's very quick and you get it at a lot of the mexican restaurants around here whipped , the whipped cream , the strawberry , the chocolate .

Never had that .

I haven't had that for years .

We did it every year for our kids' birthdays .

It's so good .

Make sombrero bring out the fried eggs , Did they say churros .

What was the question ? They have churros too . They do . I freaking love churros . Churros are great .

It's Taco Tuesday , by the way , so if you're really we're going to go get tacos at the gas station , I'm having a 7-Eleven price match day .

So if you have the 7-Eleven app , if you don't , if you have a 7-Eleven by you , it's 7-Eleven gas price lock-in day , sent off the gallon plus you get to lock in that rate for the next 48 hours . But you don't have a 7-eleven by you . But if you did , you know we have .

I think there's some in phoenix still , but where they're at they are not neighborhoods I want to go to well I don't blame you the ones I know of oh , were you .

So I was at dav Mothin in Tucson and then my nephew was in Phoenix . Um , here's the thing the military knows what they're doing when they they built these installations because they buy them in the most um , underdeveloped , higher crime places because the property is cheaper and they can get a whole lot of land . It's horrible how they do it .

No , really .

Think about it . This went left . Sorry , guys , I went wrong . I love this , but they have this spray bottle and they have this washcloth . They spray the pole , they wipe the pole . Okay , it's the same washcloth , Same pole , same cloth . There's 100 strippers . Let's say there's a hundred dancers with a hundred washcloths .

There's yet another . It .

This strip club's gotta be clean .

My daughter has a stripper name . We were downtown A car parked next to the curb and it was like this close to the curb and my daughter goes . I am that close in quitting college and becoming a stripper .

Yes .

Because she was just so stressed out . She was joking . We were driving by a street going home and the street name is Misty Dales and we're like that's a good stripper name Clappy Misty .

Dales .

So now we call her Misty Dales , like I walked into the doctor's office that she works at . I'm like they call her Brittany . I'm like they call her Brittany . I'm like girl , you've got all these stripper names . I'm like Misty , you need to stop .

Misty . Our next question should be what would your stripper name be and why ?

Ooh See , I can't come up with . I can come up with it for somebody else , but not you know .

Mine is always going to be funny . Funny , I'm going to be off the wall . It's going to be something crazy like flexi knuckles or something crazy . But god , no , patch . Who is that patch ? Why ? Because you know , maybe you'll see a patch of some , some monono spots and maybe I'll be wearing a patch . Oh no , but it'll be .

But I don't have a reason why I just like the name renee .

Renee , that's sexy that I could see that .

What would you , galley ? God , I don't know , what do ?

you guys think I don't know . What do you guys think I don't know , I don't have one Allie ta-tas . Tiny , tiny , itty-bitty ta-tas . Let me rephrase that the non-existent ta-tas .

No , you are large ta-ta adjacent they're not non-existent . You are ta-ta adjacent Okay . Okay , yeah , you're a , that's okay you can just call me cherry , because they're like little cherries so it could be cherry blossom coming to the stage . Ladies and gentlemen , cherry blossom cherry blossoms love it .

It's walking , very popular .

I don't know if anybody would want me to even do that . Listen , everybody wants everybody , but you know there are men that like a big butt , they like a chunky , at least one person will want that because you have a husband and he clearly wanted it .

Oh , he does .

You see what I'm saying At least one person wanted it . He still likes it he still likes me and that's all that matters . So he'll come see you and be like hey , yeah .

My bachelorette . We went to a bar and I had a gentleman come up to me and I had these cute guests overalls on . That's when they were stylish and I had a real short and I had a guy you need to patent that he pointed to my tush and I'm like I don't know if I should be worried , concerned , or take it as a compliment .

He said you had a booty is fine yep , so you know now it's like behind you yeah , he said it's going .

Where did we go ?

you guys . I did a stripper documentary for my documentary class in university and it was amazing Really . I lost it . I got to find it , yeah .

That would be fun to watch . It was fun . Did you study ?

strippers and interview them . I interviewed them . I went to this specific one in Tampa because Tampa used to be bigger than Vegas when it comes to strippers . Really , back in the day day it was really popular , yeah and uh , the owner was like somewhat like semi-famous , and I did an interview with him and at the end I put this in the documentary .

I have a friend that does burlesque that would be fun to go watch , but he is also the world's biggest hypochondriac , like , Like he's the world's biggest dermaphobe .

When I tell you he's like , I'm going to go out there and I'm going to do this thing , but I'm using my stuff and it's sanitized and he's all in here with it . Yes , he pulls off his stuff back and he's like and nobody else is touching this , oh my God .

I need to do it with him . I need to do it with him . I need to do it with him . Then . That sounds amazing . I need to eat it up .

I'm like man . If I could just get past the fact that you got on Pacey and a doctor yeah , he's a beauty . I also see all the germs .

that's all around the germs yeah .

Yeah , I would love to do it .

Reminds all the money that strippers get like coming from those mitts . Yeah , and they like all the germs on the money that gets stuck or thrown and hand sanitizer those dollar bills are getting crab dinners .

Just so you know , those dollar bills have seen many crab dinners okay .

And if you were a stripper , wouldn't you wonder and worry about where that money's been and what it's touched to those nasty people and what they ?

deposited like asap , but they have little like they have little uh things to put around your ankle and they're like little bags and you can put them in there , but the ones don't really fit . So yeah , that's nasty , it's , I would just go sanitized right away like you're dipping yourself in clorox your body .

That's why I couldn't find it a document , because it did not exist yet . These notes of things , one all of you are to me , or even some off the wall idea I have , I don't these notes are going to make sense , but we're going to ask people to share their highlight reel of their wins , record their wins and celebrate .

I like that .

Submit your wins and your Spoonie Sisters will cheer you on . I love that . Submit your wins , let your Spoonie Sister cheer you on , and we can just be like hey and celebrate them Like I see you Crack that fit and just keep cracking our shit .

Here's the call to action to our listeners to send us your head , a video , a picture , something , and we're going to post it and we're going to celebrate you , which is , along with the other one , medical trauma .

That would be good . That would be good .

The help people and hurt people thing . Hurt people , heal people , that thing . Yes , I don't know what I said , but what you said . We want to do an entire episode about how hurt people help people . So what ? Are you guys' other .

I like that I like both ideas . I want to find a purpose from the pain from this disease so I can help people . I mean I want to . That's my goal this year is to be more active to do that . Is that along the line what you were talking about ? I guess I'm not sure if that was on topic .

So can you do me a favor , babe ? Yeah , don't doubt yourself so much . You said , that was such a question mark . Your thoughts are valuable . Your voice is powerful . Say that shit with your chest . Say it like you mean it .

Okay , I love you . I'm going to be helping more people . I love you too . I am going to be helping more people this year . My goal now is to help somebody else . That has been where I've been , if it's depression , anxiety , anything . But yes , thank you for that , Andy . I struggle with that very much . I doubt myself a lot , if I'm being honest .

You're welcome . I want each of you to give me an idea for an episode that we're going to do .

I like learning about ways people cope with their chronic illness , and I also love talking about sex in chronic illness as well .

That's a good one . And can we do that ? Because that's a good one . Let me just tell you about the lack of libido , can we ?

talk about the lack of libidoido it's a side effect of a lot of our medication yes , and feeling sexy , and yeah , I can go on and on . I've done a couple of podcasts about sex and chronic illness , so I could talk about it all day .

I would love that I we don't talk about . I think it's the way I was raised . We did not talk about stuff like that yeah , that's how it does affect yeah , it does affect our sex life , as when you're in a relationship , we do need to talk about stuff like that . Yeah , that's how it does affect .

you might be a little young for this , but , andy and lenia , we need to channel our inner like did you just call us old ? Well ?

you're around the same . Yes , you did it did .

We need to channel our 90s and bring back the . Let's talk about sex .

I know a lot of the words to that . Let's talk about all the good times . Let's talk about sex . Let's

I can't remember . I can't remember what I had for breakfast , but I can remember the lyrics and baby no , no , Well , you might have missed it , what I had for breakfast but I can remember that song .

Do you remember the lyrics ? No , no , well , you might have missed it , but I had Dr Fanny on twice and she is a sex coach . I love that , so maybe I can reach out to her and bring her on .

Yes , Please , please . I've never done a sex podcast with a professional . I've done four podcasts about sex , so to like a professional , like I've done like four podcasts about sex , so to have a professional .

I have so many questions I want to be on that I did it by myself and I was like deer in the headlights going . I know how to have it .

Yeah , yeah yeah , I know what part like , I know how it ends I just wrote an article about it .

I'll send it to you guys .

Let me see , yeah yeah , okay , so I will reach out to dr fanny . You guys will like her . She's french . Oh , I like it already . She's in the directory . Yes , she is in the directory , dr fanny . I remember her face .

She has blonde hair I remember reading her bio and saying , saying she's talking about the touch and front . Touch and front . Okay , I was taken aback because it was one of the things that people keep secret in my family growing up . We don't talk about touch and front , so we don't name body parts what they were . We didn't talk about things .

I'm excited about that . I love that . I'm very sex positive like I . Yeah , I love it . I uh do like giveaways yeah , yeah , as you should . Yeah , literally . I'm 31 and I'm just learning about like all these kinks and stuff by all the books I'm reading . I would love to own a sex club . It's a dream of mine .

I would love to own a sex club .

I can see that for you , for real , in real life , thank you . And I see you in black , not all dumb , maybe partially submissive .

Yeah , yep , partially submissive is right , jenny's face . Yep , no , andy has it on to the T , that's face . Yep , no , andy has it on to the T , that's correct . I can just see myself like walking down the hallway , like in my black outfit , with my whip , like telling people what to do .

You're more of the princess right in between . I want to throw the tantrum , but also I want to correct the tantrum . That's you right in the middle . Yep , I so see it , jenny . Yep , of course .

It's the middle . Yep , I so see it , jenny . Yep , of course it's coming off all right , linea . What were you saying ? I would say my husband , just I . I went to a lingerie party and it was a co-worker's wife of my husband and they gave it to him and he's like why did you ? Buy this what because it's going to end up on the floor .

It wasn't really sleepy .

It was more of just a nightgown . Everybody laughed . He knew it would go wrong .

It's funny A lot of people did that this year .

What was the point in buying that honey ? I A lot of people did that this year . What was the point in buying that ? Honey , I'm not going to leave it on you long .

Well , I guess you have a point .

That's cute . Yeah , it's not all in long . Yeah , but it was really comfy . I actually still have it . Yeah , no , it's good and it also makes you feel sexy , like when I talk about sex and arthritis and chronic illness , I'm always like get some lingerie to feel sexy . Yes , my best advice is to start alone with yourself .

Yep . So earlier today I was having a conversation , jenny , with Jewel . We were talking about how the crazy white lady sent me happy mail and how we just love getting happy mail from Jenny . Right , I told ? I told Jewel . I said the thing is , this community is over-retrusting because nobody asked any follow-up questions . Me of all people .

You want a sticker .

We're like Spoonie you want a sticker , come get a sticker . Hi guys , hi , come get a hug , let me get the hug it's a hog Spoonie Come . Get a hog Come on .

Oh my god , it's so true we never thought about it that way , but we are , we're a little too trusting .

Yeah , Instead of candy it's stick .

Like all my friends , I've never met in public , like in real life , my chronic illness friends . I've never met them face-to-face but I was super comfortable giving my address .

So yeah , god , yep , hopefully , yeah , hopefully . Jen's like fuck her , because she has all of our addresses , gosh , and you know what trouble , don't make her mad .

It's all in this little little song . I love that . It's a notebook that my sister-in-law designed . I think she drew the picture and it's got waves on it and it says you were the best part of me . You are still a light in the darkness . I love you more than words can say . Nothing will keep us apart . It says more than that .

I love that she did that .

She did all kinds of cool stuff like that . That's like the perfect notebook for me to keep everyone's addresses in . Yeah , I'm not a crazy stalker , I just like to send you guys things . I love my stickers Me too .

Hey this one's on . Want a sticker . Want a sticker .

Come here I know you do .

You're sad Come here .

Don't want , want to stick her .

I'm going to open my door , but you've got to come in .

What's your illness ? What's your illness ? What's your ?

illness , cutie pie , but hey what you in for ?

Every excuse , hey , what you in for , oh my God .

I'm going to come up with something like what's your illness Plus something else , and it's going to be your stripper names like rheumatoid sassy or something we need .

That arthritis , cherries , I'm gonna come up with it , I'm gonna make a post , I'm doing it right now oh my god yes , you guys need to be in your mail , because last week I sent you guys each something , so keep watching your mail . I know it's not the new shirt , I promise I love the shirt I'm so excited the sticker .

I have my shirt it might be stickers .

It might . It might have one of the new logos , not the one with our faces , because I was like that might freak me out to see our faces on a sticker yeah , oh .

So the faces thing , that would freak me out , because my daughter saw one of them and she's like mom , why did ai make you look like jay-z in a trench coat and now I can't unsee it ?

oh my god , I love her .

What , oh , my god and every time I look at it I just start laughing . My best friend texts me when she posted the one that my boobs look really good . She's like they do yeah , they do . Your boobs look great , jen . She was giving me and I so . Then I showed it to my husband . I said , said this is what I want for my birthday , my birthday right here .

Well , so people do stuff like I'm gonna spot whatever and you can't spot , lose weight . But because your titties are partially 80 fat , uh , it means that you were doing the right thing because , notice , you know , your face will start to hang and then you're , you'll start kickboxing your tits and that's a real thing , but it starts to slowly melt off .

And then build your natural bra on the inside yep , she just gave us permission not to wear a bra never wear that's what I , that's what I hear , that's like .

That's what I hear it was created by our man because they thought nipples were ridiculous . Men have nipples . They don't wear bras . Why do we have to wear exactly ?

I love that . Yeah , I think my husband would be very joyful . 10 years ago , tight , cute like ally , I never wore a bra because I didn't have enough to need one and I loved it . That's my goal . I want to get back to not having to wear a bra anymore I never .

I haven't worn a bra in 12 years , 10 years . They're like overrated . I don't own one . I don't own even sports bras . I can't wear anymore . I have to only wear tight tank tops when I work out .

I can do the sports bra . I like the sports bra and I can do the crop one because I like my belly out . It's sexy for real . That's right . The underwire and all the squeezing , I get a mammogram . That's enough squeezing , I get it twice a year nobody needs that , I don't do wire anymore .

No .

I had a reduction too . I had a reduction in 2000 . Insurance paid 100% of it because I was having such bad migraines and the indentions on my shoulders . Yeah yeah , but that's been 25 years ago . Our takeaways are not wearing bras not wearing bras .

Yeah , stripper names I'm literally doing this stripper name thing right now . I'm making a post .

I can't wait to see it stripper names sex , no bras and ick . Yes , I love it , but you know what we all deserve to talk about things that are not about our illness .

Yes , yes , it's nice , it's refreshing every now and then .

Because we're all human beings , we're all freaking human beings . I can't wait for you to post it . But I just want to know what my stripper name is . I'm stalking you because I want to know what my stripper name is .

I'm so excited oh it's so funny .

You know , we already made people just about Peter Pants earlier this week . Let's do one Exactly .

I mean , Andy got a phone call from me .

No , I lost the road in Peter Pants .

He said oh my God , I almost died and peed myself at the same time . She said Jenny , and the cats on the counter or finger in the communion . She's like I wasn't ready . I wasn't ready because I , but it was refreshing because we share a lot of sad .

Your humor will bother me .

The funny means bother . But then if I sat ?

in the I don't have any fun .

It would be . Why are you always sad ? Well , bitch , because you didn't send me nothing funny .

That would be why that would be why I love that Respectfully ,

We can chat as long as we want , but I'm going to stop our recording . Listen to our takeaways . Come back , because you never know when we're going to keep you on your toes and make you pee your pants and who knows what else .

So you guys want to say goodbye , look out for my post on what your chronically ill stripper name is Mm-hmm , oh yes .

Yeah , If you miss go back and find it .

Thanks for sticking with us throughout this whole podcast . If you finish the podcast and didn't pee your pants , then we need to do another one finished the podcast and didn't pee your pants , then we need to do another one , yes and give you a sticker .

Yeah , turn spoony so . And the friendly reminder is that you are enough on every day that ends in y and you don't need that validated by anybody else with any name that ends in a letter .