Cotent note: in this episode we talk about offensive racial stereotypes, and weight
SPEAKERS
LILY (the daughter), JENNY (the mother)
JENNY 00:00
This episode contains explicit language and is not suitable for younger audiences. We also talk about offensive racial stereotypes and weight
LILY 00:11
Cool... technical problems we're on it.
JENNY 00:24
Yah.
LILY 00:26
Oh. How was the chemist? Busy?
JENNY 00:30
Yeah, it was busy.
LILY 00:32
Find that Embryolisse?
JENNY 00:34
Oh, did you send me the Embryolisee?
LILY 00:37
Oh, whoops, I forgot to send
JENNY 00:39
And I forgot to look for the Embryolisse. Please explain what the Embryolisse is
LILY 00:46
It's this moisturiser which has a cult following. And I've seen on like, so many lists of like the top moisturisers in the world kind of thing. And I assumed it would be very expensive but it's not, you can just kind of get it, the chemist's got it. Chemist Warehouse. Um it's Fronch [French]
JENNY 01:07
How do you spell the last part of
LILY 01:09
Li Double S E? They say maybe Embryolisse? They wouldn't really
JENNY 01:14
is that a 'lait creme concentre'?
LILY 01:22
Yes, and they say you can use it as a moisturiser as like a makeup kind of base like a primer. They say you can bathe in it. And that's one of those miracle creams but I'm actually quite enjoying it so far. It's got a good texture.
JENNY 01:39
lean forward so I can see your face.
LILY 01:43
Because I get this patch of red redness here which has been flaring up and I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure if it's like a bit of a broken capillary or something. But after I used it, it calmed down. Anyway, so just kind of see how it goes. But yeah, so funny. It's like, gotten sunny as soon as we start. Had about five minutes in the sun.
JENNY 02:10
Oh, well, we can do a quick one today if you want to get back out there.
LILY 02:14
No, see how we go. I will be there inappropriately tanning even that's only 22 degrees.
JENNY 02:20
Inappropriately tanning!
02:23
[removed section for side chat]
LILY 02:28
And sometimes I'll come back. You know, if I go for a big walk, I'm like, I like it as well. Like I like and like, just I don't know, I think
JENNY 02:37
we've talked about smells before.
LILY 02:39
We have talked about smells. I know. Seth likes my stink. Yeah. Well, we have but like we have these days, I'll come back from a walk and he'll just come and give me a big sniff. Yeah. He loves it. Anyway, that's kind of that's interesting. It's weird. It reminds me, have you ever read Perfume?
JENNY 03:00
Yeah
LILY 03:01
It's like that. Like,
JENNY 03:03
But he was a murderer?
LILY 03:05
Yeah I know. So if I go missing
JENNY 03:07
What was the setup of that? Like he was born in the gutters of Paris? In a very violent, horrible upbringing and becomes a murderer but he's also got this. Well, his mother's a sex worker, is that what you just said? And so he doesn't know his father. But he has this amazing sense of smell. So he becomes a 'nose' for the perfume houses, is that right?
LILY 03:29
And a very famous parfumier. But then he's, he's making these perfumes as well that people, but he starts to make them out of the blood, of women. And everyone was just like, Where are you getting the sense from? He's like mwah mwah mwah
JENNY 03:43
From my lady! Her name is Lily!
LILY 03:50
From my lady. And then I can't remember the ending but I want to say something happens, I want to say like something dramatic happens where like he's got his shop on like this bridge. You know how they have in Italy? And you know, the shops that are in the bridges. Yeah, that it collapses or something?
JENNY 04:10
I don't remember.
LILY 04:11
But I don't know where that's coming from. Because that's does sound odd.
JENNY 04:15
Sounds like a good ending?
LILY 04:17
Well, yeah, maybe I was like, This is what should have happened. I'm just gonna rewrite it in my head. But what I found so interesting about that book is it's not... it's written so in the style of like, a 19th century novel, that I assumed it was, you know, a classic, but it's a modern, modern classic.
JENNY 04:36
Yeah, it's very good isn't it?
LILY 04:37
It's quite astounding to be able to kind of write like that. And obviously, like, you know, I, I'm sure they studied it and to learn how to imitate. But yeah, yeah, it's um,
JENNY 04:49
and I don't know what else he wrote that the author, Patrick Susskind, possibly German writer, maybe it's in translation, maybe it was French translated to English. We'll put it in the show notes, but I can't think of anything else he's written, like he's super famous for that. But I don't know, maybe a bit of a one-hit wonder,
LILY 05:10
maybe. But I feel like that's what happens when people have these really clearly defined stories. And it's such an idea because like, how do you think of that? Like, how do you think there's a guy, he's got the sense of smell that leads him to murder, like, it's such an out-of-the-box thought, like people are like There's no original ideas, but something like that is quite original. I think when people have truly original stuff, that's it. That's all they got. You know. You're not going to get two ideas like that.
JENNY 05:38
You go you're not, you know, and I reckon it was written in the '80s.
LILY 05:42
I think, yeah, I think it was, yeah, I remember looking at I, I read that when I was working in the bookshop, and I was so bored, and I read it to like three shifts. Just like sitting on my stool.
JENNY 05:56
Which bookshop was that? The one with the arsehole man or the one with the nice woman?
LILY 06:00
Arsehole man
JENNY 06:02
Well, people can work out who that is. We'll just leave them to work out who that is
LILY 06:07
I wouldn't even say what suburb it's in.
JENNY 06:09
We won't say the suburb because then it would be very easily identifiable,
LILY 06:13
very easily identifiable. But yes, a little independent bookshop
JENNY 06:17
an arsehole, man.
LILY 06:20
It's so interesting. That was like one of my first jobs. And um, it was the first time I'd encountered probably someone like that. In a position of power over me. And I remember, he just made me feel so stupid at times. And I had to be like, I'm not incompetent. And it's so hard when you're first- with your first job, because you're like, maybe I am, maybe I'm just not good at working. And maybe I'm just dumb, maybeI'm just whatever. But there's such a tone that certain people use that is so patronising and undercutting. That you're just like: I don't know how to do this. Not because I'm dumb or incompetent or I don't know how to problem solve, it's because you haven't done your job to *teach* me how to do this. And now, and now you're saying, This is what you do? Like, this is what? And it's like, TELL ME
JENNY 07:07
Not only that, making it worse, by then
LILY 07:11
creating anxiety and stress, and you just kind of get all up. Yeah, that's a whole thing.
JENNY 07:17
It was a whole thing, darling, but you handled it well. And
LILY 07:20
yeah, I stuck it out there for like a year
JENNY 07:21
you did. You stuck it out. You learned. You know, it sounded like he had his favourites?
LILY 07:27
He did.
JENNY 07:28
And he was- he liked sort of having female workers around him, young female workers. We won't say anymore.
LILY 07:38
No, but yeah, there was definitely a veteran who had been there for quite a while and I think had figured out that... like, how to handle him in the sense of like, I think he still did it to her, but she just had learned to essentially
JENNY 07:54
fuck like partners like partners of problematic men have to do.
LILY 08:00
Yeah. And it wasn't that yeah, it wasn't happening to her or that she kind of had power with him. No, she just would anticipate what he would say and make sure that she didn't give him any excuse to do it. You know what I mean? So like she was, I guess, adapting and changing her behaviour for that. And I think... I don't- I think I can be very flattering, but I don't think as a general rule, I don't think I flatter and I don't think I like kind of pander. I'm just kind of quiet. Yeah. You know, like,
JENNY 08:33
you're not a suck
LILY 08:33
And I also don't like in work environments, I don't really put in a lot of effort to the people I'm working with. Because, like I'm there to work and sure, I think that definitely creates people's view of me, but I'm just like, I don't want to have lunch with you.
JENNY 08:53
Yeah, I get that
LILY 08:55
I get half an hour out of my whole day. Where I'm literally like giving you my time, which is all we have in life, for money. I'm already a capitalist slave. I'm not going to also waste my one free half an hour chatting with you about like, mundane things like the weather. Or like what you're watching on TV, I don't care. We'll do that on the boss's time - those conversations - but not on my time.
JENNY 09:22
Fair enough
LILY 09:23
Yeah, so maybe that also played into it a little bit as well. But yeah,
JENNY 09:29
anyway, you managed it well, and you know, you started your CV essentially with that and your other job
LILY 09:37
two bookstores. Not too bad. Yeah, whatever. Here we are. Now, I've climbed my way to the top of mid level admin!
JENNY 09:45
[Laughter] But starting our podcasting empire,
LILY 09:51
Exactly. Podcasting empire / other things that make money
JENNY 09:57
Exactly.
LILY 09:58
Like my cushion cover empire!
JENNY 10:01
Entrepreneur!
LILY 10:03
Exactly. So funny because I sold a couple in the space of like a day. And Seth was like, Oh, oh, like I don't know what they said but they were like, 'Yeah, cushion cover daddy!' because I just kept walking in with like cash. Like $40, not like a lot of cash. No one has cash these days. And I was like, yeah.
JENNY 10:26
Why daddy? Why not mama?
LILY 10:29
And I guess that's more the term daddy. Daddy, but it should be mummy. Yeah. Mummy. Yeah, cushion cover mummy, that probably would have just hit too close, hit too close to home for their Oedipussy complexes to call me mummy. Ah too much!
JENNY 10:46
Oedipal. Yeah. So I was gonna say you'll become a slashie. Like you'll be admin slash podcast, slash cushion saleswoman slash entrepreneur.
LILY 11:01
Exactly. And see, like, what I was thinking about, I was like, if I think about my current job, because and this might all have to be cut, but because I do so little.
JENNY 11:13
What do you mean, it might have to be cut?
LILY 11:16
I'm just gonna talk I'm gonna see if there's a way we can keep some in that still gets my point across. But looking at my current job and the situation of how it is. If that is like a base rate, right? Of the bulk of my salary, but I've got a few other things going on the side where you're making nota huge amount, but like maybe $5-10 [K] extra? It would turn into quite a good income. For like, when the amount of work that I have to put into this podcast or say into the cushion covers, is being subsidised- and I would probably even even if these things became like successful, they're probably never going to be like successful enough for me to live off primarily.
JENNY 11:57
So it can take time for things to get established. Like ______ might take time.
LILY 12:01
I want ______ booming in five years. Otherwise, I just I'm not in it to slave away at something that's kind of just above. I'm in it because I think it's a great idea and it's going to work amazingly. Or not. And I'd rather it either take off or crash and burn, you know,
JENNY 12:18
you'll find out pretty quickly whether it's going to do that or not. And the same with the podcast, but the podcasts we're doing it for
LILY 12:26
not really monetary, for ourselves like, yeah, that would be really nice on the side, but this is for our art. 'Artistic purpose'
JENNY 12:37
but it's also just I don't know, it's just, yeah, it's it's just interesting.
LILY 12:41
It is. And I think, to me, I'm enjoying it, because my biggest kind of not my biggest question, but definitely something that I have thought about. It's like, okay, so if you Well, when you if you die [laughter]... I'm just in full denial here
JENNY 12:56
I will die one day. Yeah. [Laughter]
LILY 12:58
IF you die, you know, this is a whole life that we've got documented. And it's not something that I would have felt comfortable reading. Without you here.
JENNY 13:11
Without my consent. Whereas this is consensual,
LILY 13:13
and I can discuss it with you and ask questions. Anyway. Shall we get reading?
JENNY 13:21
Let's get reading. Let's, let's go back to the '80s.
LILY 13:25
Yeah, let's
JENNY 13:25
have some fun,
LILY 13:26
Pure escapism when the only thing to worry about was Adam Ant [laughter] But before we start though, let's introduce ourselves. Welcome to My Mum's Bad Diaries Podcast. I'm Lily. I'm the listener, the questioner.
JENNY 13:44
And I'm Jenny. I'm the reader. I'll be reading from my diaries and we're working our way through 1981.
LILY 13:51
Yeah, yeah, let's
JENNY 13:53
get going. Okay. The music that kind of... [Wayne's World] 22nd of August 1981. Saturday night, and I'm sitting here trying to do my Antony and Cleopatra assignment. I could have gone to _____'s party, but I thought I'd better have an early night, seeing I was late last night due to babysitting. I'm wondering if Dor and D are out tonight and if so, why they haven't asked me. I'm beginning to feel a touch left out. I spoke to ______ this afternoon. She hasn't done any work. Mum, Liz and I went shopping today. We only meant to get shorts and undies, but got those and two dresses and a hat. I'd like to know what the hat is
LILY 14:41
There's nothing like going shopping with your mum.
JENNY 14:43
Yeah, the dresses have low waists and are nice. So in the '80s it was a drop, called a drop waist?
LILY 14:49
[Tone slightly testy as a fasion maven]I know what a drop waist is, from the 1920s. Not flattering for people.
JENNY 14:54
No not flattering
LILY 14:55
Not flattering unless you're tiny
JENNY 14:56
but very early '80s Yeah, late '70s early '80s
LILY 14:59
Oh god,
JENNY 14:59
I need some jeans to go away. I wish I could get some washed out denims [laughter]
LILY 15:04
Oh, so that really like light stone wash?
JENNY 15:08
Yeah probably. _____ reminded me that tonight was the original night for Adam's concert. So do you remember it was delayed? We tried to imagine what we'd be doing if it was still on. Anyways speak of the spunk, and I've stuck in some pictures
LILY 15:24
'Speak of the spunk' I like that. That's another segment: Speak of the Spunk. And just talk about all the '80s spunks
JENNY 15:31
the crushes. Words cannot convey his beauty. We got a letter from _______ today. So remember there was a letter? Yeah, there's It was great to hear from her. It's going to be growly fun up at Queensland.
LILY 15:45
Growly?
JENNY 15:46
'Growly', so that's a _____ word. I hope I don't get burned. Only go brown. I'd die if I came home all red, while the others were golden brown.
LILY 15:55
That's like foreshadowing. [Laughter] As I know your skin type, I feel like yeah, there's one way that this is likely to go.
JENNY 16:07
Exactly. I wouldn't be surprised if that happened. I think I've got to be more confident of myself. I don't mean with my friends because I am relaxed with them. But even just walking down the street. When I pass a guy, I can feel myself looking sour and unhappy. And I bet some guys think My god she looks like a bitch. I've just had a look in the mirror and I think I will now try and smile at all possible times. I look much friendlier.
LILY 16:34
Just gonna manically be smiling down the street. It's so interesting. Yeah, it's interesting. I think I definitely have resting bitch-face when I'm just walking along.
JENNY 16:50
I mean, not sure how I feel about that term.
LILY 16:53
No me either
JENNY 16:54
And I do have resting bitch-face but doesn't everybody? I mean nobody,
LILY 17:00
Yeah nobody says a man has resting bitch-face
JENNY 17:02
Nobody looks really friendly unless they're smiling.
LILY 17:04
Yeah, it's just just being unanimated because you got shit to do and there's nothing to animate you. That's a really good point. I'm just gonna call it resting person face. It's just what people look like
JENNY 17:17
Just resting face
LILY 17:18
Just resting face yet society expects women to be animated and be smiling.
JENNY 17:24
Well they expect us to be attractive.
LILY 17:26
Yes,
JENNY 17:27
that's what they expect.
LILY 17:29
Yes, interesting.
JENNY 17:31
And we are nicer to look at if we're smiling. Because that makes us more attractive and approachable or open.
LILY 17:40
Oh my God, I wish we could
JENNY 17:41
they don't like us being closed
LILY 17:42
I wish we could make all men blind for a week and just be So sorry. You don't get to perceive us anymore. Learn some lessons and then maybe you can get them [eyes] back.
JENNY 17:53
Yeah, yeah.
LILY 17:54
So annoying.
JENNY 17:55
It is really annoying. Not long until I finish this book. Yeah, there's not many pages left. I don't think it will last the year out. I have another larger one at the ready for me to use. At the moment I generally feel somewhat discontented. I resolved last Thursday night after watching a documentary about children and leukaemia to be thoroughly contented with what I've got. And think myself bloody lucky. I'm healthy, fit and me. I worry about being a bit overweight. It seems so petty compared to what some of those kids go through.
LILY 18:31
I think [laughter]... So I would love to go through and make like a list of all your resolutions and just have like, whatever number we're up to.
JENNY 18:42
That could be a special episode. It could be the Resolution Episode.
LILY 18:46
Just go through them all. But you're trying so hard to like be like
JENNY 18:51
A better person?
LILY 18:52
to be a better person. It's so interesting. It's so at the forefront of your mind because I don't know if I've ever like thought about that
JENNY 18:59
about me? Oh thought about that for yourself?
LILY 19:02
yeah, ever been like I'm gonna do this. It's like I feel like anything I tried to it's just because I'm like oh, either it will make me happier, so I'm going to try to do this thing... You know what I mean, not just for like this general like
JENNY 19:16
but I remember you saying to me, I remember you saying to me like from quite young that you couldn't understand people who didn't try to better themselves or be
LILY 19:24
I agree. Yeah
JENNY 19:25
So and when you told me that I remember thinking Wow, she's- that's really sort of advanced thinking and very aware
LILY 19:34
Because I was five! [Laughter]
JENNY 19:35
[Laughter] but, but I'm actually somewhat surprised at myself that I do have all these resolutions because now I think I just don't care. So, something's happened between then and now.
LILY 19:49
Maybe that disappointment
JENNY 19:53
to you, but here I am being quite you know, trying
LILY 19:59
Yeah, but it's interesting because I do -- and I don't mean this in any way of reductive comment -- but I feel like it's it's trying in a lot of the like, obvious, prescribed ways. You know what I mean? To smile, or You don't have cancer or Read the Bible or like, you know what I mean? Like, it's because when I was saying that about like, people bettering themselves, it's very much like, everyone has trauma, and emotional baggage to deal with, I think it's our responsibility as humans to to that, particularly if you ever want to have children. Like, you got to unpack that stuff. So I think that's always been my focus, maybe, which is why I haven't kind of thought about the good person stuff so much. Yeah. So it's very interesting, because I wonder if there's just maybe like, a bit of like, a sheltering... you know what I mean, element or something like that?
JENNY 20:57
What do you mean?
LILY 20:58
Like, like, I'm sure you had, you know, had stuff to say, like, work out with granddad, right. But you're obviously like, not at that stage of viewing how that might have affected you as a person?
JENNY 21:11
Oh, yeah. Not back then.
LILY 21:12
Maybe like you're feeling certain things about it. Or you're feeling certain things about, like, I'm realising how *you* can be as a person. And instead of maybe realising where the roots of that might be, and how your, you know, your life and your upbringing has like, shaped you. It's like, I'm going to fix it by doing this thing, or this thing, or this thing that's, like, quite external. You know what I mean?
JENNY 21:36
Yeah. Not really.
LILY 21:39
Okay. So no, so like, I feel like you're saying that you want to be more confident, right?
JENNY 21:45
Yeah.
LILY 21:45
So you want to be more confident? And this and that. And instead of kind of in like, Well, why aren't I confident? Maybe it's because of this? Situation from, say, my parents or from their divorce or from this? It's okay, I'm going to fix that by smiling more, you know, like, it's, it's, it's quite a
JENNY 22:05
Well it's a simplistic sort of...
LILY 22:07
And that's what kind of, I guess I meant by sheltered. Like, yeah, starting the process. But yeah, maybe like, you know, it probably would be different if you were seeing a psychologist or something like that, which, you know, yeah.
JENNY 22:19
Yeah. And sort of comparing myself to other people. And thinking, -sort of writing about a lot later. So all these solutions have been written down, but I don't really do them I don't think. And, you know, that sort of awareness of the impact of divorce that doesn't come till way later. And, in fact, at this stage, we all thought it was good that mum and dad split up because they were happier. And then that meant we would be happier,
LILY 22:53
which is, I think, very true of divorce. But also you guys, I guess were kind of, for the most part, the first generation of children that experienced divorce. And so probably by the time it got to me, and my generation, people had a lot more understanding of this is how divorce affects kids. And this is what you know, I mean, they're gonna they're gonna, you know, subconsciously take on this kind of responsibility for whatever.
JENNY 23:27
I really feel as though I need someone and then in brackets a man to take the place of this 'ere book. I need someone to share my thoughts, ideas, and especially love with. I simply can't imagine myself going out with anyone, getting to know each other, having sex. I can't imagine it in capitals,
LILY 23:48
SO you can't imagine it but you want it.
JENNY 23:50
I want it. Yeah. No, but I can't imagine that happening, meaning I can't imagine that actually happening.
LILY 23:57
I couldn't imagine it either. I remember being like, It's never gonna happen.
JENNY 24:00
Yeah, yeah, that sort of thing.
LILY 24:02
Yeah. I remember that?
JENNY 24:04
I've just gone away for a few hours. And now I'm back. I'm going to listen to Adam on my cassette. Think about Queensland and finish Wuthering Heights. Bye for now. J
LILY 24:12
Yeah but not do any of your, you know Mark Antony and Cleopatra...
JENNY 24:17
and then I've done little J x and the little ant.
LILY 24:20
So it would have been would have been Friday, Saturday night. If there was a party.
JENNY 24:25
That was Saturday night, right? 22nd of August... Then next is 6th of September 1981. So a bit of a jump. Well, since last writing so much has happened. Yesterday Dor and I arrived back from Queensland after a great holiday. Dee left last Wednesday because she was sick, but I've just rung her and she feels so much better. Dor and ____ are in love and Dee and ____ are together. So remember, I said _____ are coming and I was like don't want to be good old Jen the wallflower.
LILY 25:01
So yeah, yeah.
JENNY 25:05
Last night I went to a party with Dor. Dee didn't go because her parents thought she should stay home. I didn't know *anyone* at the party. We got there about 10pm and everyone was listening to Dudley and Peter Cook records. So Dudley Moore and Peter Cook records.
LILY 25:23
So what everyone at the party would just sit round listening to records?
JENNY 25:26
Yeah, listening to- because it's not music. It was comedy records. Comedy.
LILY 25:32
What a raucous, raging time, you kids had.
JENNY 25:36
I just sat there listening, but thoroughly bored.
LILY 25:39
Yeah no shit
JENNY 25:40
That's not a party. But I remember these records and they are very, very funny. But I was obviously bored by them then. Yeah, I talked to Dor and then I was introduced to three 5th form girls from PLC and a couple of guys. They were very friendly people, but I felt a bit out of it as ____ was talking elsewhere in Dor and _____ were 'talking'. As soon as I walked in, I noticed a boy sitting on the couch. He had dark hair, pubkoid clothes, and very attractive eyes. He looked pretty young, but I found myself looking and staring all evening. Once or twice I caught his eye and just looked right into them without looking away. He seemed to be looking at me a bit too, (but probably because I was staring at him). As the night drew on, I found him increasingly attractive and exciting. And he interested me enormously. He was very quiet and rarely talked to anyone. As I'm fairly shy, we didn't say one word to each other at all. [Laughter] I can't help feeling he was interested in me as I was in him. But as I'll never know, I think I will take it for granted he *did* like me. My only piece of supportive evidence was that when he and his brother? friends? got up to go, just as he was passing out through the door, he turned around, and I caught his dark eyes over the heads of the others. As he was moving out he turned around, stood on tiptoes and waved over the top of the group of boys. I was sitting watching and I feel sure he was waving at me as there was no one else there he had talked to and no one he should have waved at so there you have it.
LILY 27:26
So interesting, because I feel like often this happens. Like girls want guys to approach them with zero assurance to the guys.
JENNY 27:38
Yeah.
LILY 27:39
You just want to sit there and look at them and them come up and make conversation.
JENNY 27:43
Yeah, true.
LILY 27:44
Which is not how it happens at all
JENNY 27:45
No they're not going to put themselves out
LILY 27:47
Or if you if you just make eye contact with somebody, you don't do anything like you don't smile. You don't be like, you know, come over or something. I wonder if you waved back?
JENNY 27:56
Me?
LILY 27:57
Probably not.
JENNY 27:58
No, I wouldn't have.
LILY 27:59
Right and so he's there being like, Oh, what a dick I should have...
JENNY 28:02
I know. Yeah, yeah. So there you have it. I just felt animalisticly attracted to him. He seemed really sexy. A couple of times, I saw him smiling at a joke. And then within two seconds, he wouldn't be smiling. He just sat there chain smoking and drinking coffee.
LILY 28:21
What kind of fucked-up party are you at with middle-aged people listening to comedy records and drinking coffee.
JENNY 28:28
But I felt so old at that party. Most people were about 5th or 6th form. One girl was 15 years old. _____ dropped me home at about 3:30am and I slept in until 12:30pm today. So there were lots of young people there. Maybe there was no alcohol, because people were underage.
LILY 28:47
And like, I feel like it was easier to get alcohol back then being underage and now.
JENNY 28:52
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I can't explain it.
LILY 28:55
I wonder if that's why people, like so many young people just take drugs now. Because it's like, easier probably to get drugs than it is to get alcohol
JENNY 29:03
Yeah probably cheaper in some ways.
LILY 29:05
Yeah. And they'll deliver right to you. You know [laughter].
JENNY 29:08
God. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, there was drinking- underage drinking, obviously, but clearly not at this party. This Dudley Moore and Peter Cook record party. On Countdown tonight, Adam was on, speaking at the studios where he's recording the new album saying he and the Ants are definitely coming to Australia in September, and apologising for the mix up about the concert tours. I just went wild and I silently started crying. I get so emotional over him. I hope I don't lose my cool at the concert,
LILY 29:43
[Laughter] where he might see and therefore not want to date me.
JENNY 29:48
[Laughter] I'm looking forward to it so much. I know that he won't want to come to the party with me which
LILY 29:52
exactly yeah. It's so funny. Well, you know, I often think about this. It's like no wonder you didn't have a boyfriend, when you're in love with someone else. You know what I mean? When you have these obsessions, there's no room. There's no energy. Like you might intellectually want it. But like, I reckon all the vibes that are coming out are like, 'Nah, closed for business. I'm in love with Adam Ant and I'm waiting for him to pick me up offstage'.
JENNY 30:19
True, true. And, and it's not until that doesn't happen, then I'll be available.
LILY 30:24
Exactly. Yeah, you're just waiting
JENNY 30:26
Spoiler! Tomorrow we start school for term three, and it's only eight weeks to SWOT VAC, 10 weeks to exams. I'm going to have to pull my socks up and I've got a diagram of a short sock and then a long sock. So how about it? I better go now. And there's a J A: Jenny, Adam X.
LILY 30:48
Adam's his first name right? What was his last name?
JENNY 30:52
No Adam's not his real name. So his real name was Stuart Goddard. Adam Ant was his stage name.
LILY 30:57
Righ. Yeah, right. That makes so much sense. I'm surprised you're not there being like Jenny Ackland-Goddard. 'Dear Diary'
JENNY 31:09
7th of September 1981. After start a new leaf lecture by Miss McPherson (that was our headmistress), I determined to work my hardest. Just another resolution. Yeah, I determined to work my hardest this term, along with hundreds of other girls, I suppose.
LILY 31:28
Everyone's just, they're writing in their journals, being like, 'Okay, new resolution!' [Laughter]
JENNY 31:33
[Laughter]. Mum told me about a writing competition The Age is having, I think I might enter just to see how I go because I have to get something into print by the time I apply for a cadetship. So at this stage, I'm planning on a journalist cadetship
LILY 31:50
Wow. Imagine how your life would have been if you'd been a journalist or a lawyer or any of the things you got turned off
JENNY 31:58
How interesting.
LILY 31:59
That's quite fascinating.
JENNY 32:01
Yeah. It's moving on towards 11pm. And I think I should have rung dad. I haven't seen or talked to him properly since I returned. I wouldn't blame him for being mad at me. I've just been sitting here trying to think of something to write about. I could mention many things, such as my misunderstanding with Dor today; the mix up with Dee and L. My schoolwork. Wuthering Heights. Adam. But I can't be bothered explaining everything, all is so complicated. I just can't be bothered. I'm very confused at the moment. I'm especially disillusioned or confused about ______. Maybe she's changed. Maybe I have but I don't know. It seems as if all of a sudden I see faults in her which I never even dreamed existed. I can't be bothered going into details but sometimes I feel she's very insensitive. And then she claims to be oversensitive if I say something she doesn't like. Anyway, during... Do you want to say something?
LILY 33:05
Yeah, no, I'm just it's it's interesting. All the like, kind of, I guess a little tidbits. And I'm just like, I wish you wrote what was happening. Do you remember? Do you have any kind of inkling what this is?
JENNY 33:22
I know that I've got a letter from _____ somewhere. Maybe not here. There might be more. There might be more to come.
LILY 33:29
Yeah, right. Interesting.
JENNY 33:30
I think. Well, I think there's a bit more now. Anyway, during English I told her so this is ____, I was disillusioned about her attitude to ______. Sometimes she seemed to be unnecessarily bitchy about _____. It just didn't seem like her. So she's jealous, obviously. I got really upset in English because ______ wouldn't talk to me about it. My eyes clouded and I was lost. I came home and thought about it. And the phone rang and it was ______, breathless after being jogging, asking me what had happened at school. She said she'd been thinking about it. We're going to talk about it tomorrow. She thought I was mad at her and she thought I might think she was mad with me. Which I did and which she wasn't. Anyway, I'm exhausted, I'm going to read think and then sleep. Keep smiling, then a smiley face, Jen-Adam x
LILY 34:22
[Laughter] I like that even in the in the midst of emotional turmoil you don't forget that sign off. You remember the important things in life. Yeah, so interesting. Like you know how how that often happens in friendships like I feel like there's such that honeymoon phase. You know, and especially when you kind of want that best friend and that person is that, you know what you've been looking for, bubble blah, and then you start to get to know them as people, and you see that shit. Yeah, it's just like relationships. You know, that's
JENNY 34:53
A lot of it's projecting onto kind of like, yeah, like expectations or desires or hopes or dreams and I mean people do that with partners as well. Romantic partners. Did you notice I've written nothing about Brisbane after all of that lead up?
LILY 35:10
Nothing about Queensland, nothing. Yeah, we don't even know if you've got tanned or sunburned.
JENNY 35:15
So bad! Boring!! Okay, 9th of September 1981. Today, _____ brought our Frisbee to school. We bought one in Surfers Paradise, half each
LILY 35:30
Probably cost two bucks.
JENNY 35:31
Yeash. Dor and I played with it on the oval for part of our Prep. It was a glorious day and we had a ball. Tonight, just then, I was looking for one of my old books, Alice Through the Looking Glass. I wanted to find it because it was so beautiful. I can just remember it barely. I didn't find it, but I found heaps of others of mine. They're so lovely. Sometimes when I look at some of the pictures, I get a feeling as if I'm remembering a dream from many years ago. They provoke such old memories. Anyway, I better go now. I have to get an early night. Miss McPherson said to! Ho yi banjow. Josun banjow. Jen, Adam X. And that's, so it's Cantonese. Ho yi banjow is very hot penis. Josun banjow, I don't remember what josun is. Something penis.
LILY 36:21
Well, where did this come from?
JENNY 36:23
From ______ and her brother from Hong Kong. She obviously, they obviously taught, that's all that I've brought back from Queensland. Cantonese,
LILY 36:35
that and a Frisbee. Well, half a Frisbee. Oh my god. It's pretty good. Oh, funny. Yeah, I was like I don't remember you saying you learned Cantonese in school.
JENNY 36:48
No, I didn't.
LILY 36:50
French all the way. Oh, Shall we finish up?
JENNY 36:53
We can finish up. Yeah
LILY 36:55
I've got a bit of a headache actually
JENNY 36:56
Have you?
LILY 36:57
Yeah. I'm falling apart.
JENNY 37:00
Never mind.
LILY 37:02
Yeah never mind. I'm gonna go sit in the sun a bit. Soak up some rays.
JENNY 37:08
So are we doing a finish off with this thing? Like, do we say follow us on the all the social media stuff and let us know how you're thrush is going.
LILY 37:18
Sure but I don't know, I don't think we should do that until we have social media for people to follow.
JENNY 37:23
But we're gonna have when we when we upload this, there will be social media. We're not going to upload this without having-
LILY 37:30
Why not? That's what we were talking about literally this morning. With the soft launch it was like, we don't even need an Instagram or website we'll just
JENNY 37:38
Right but I didn't think we're going to do all of them. We just do some.
LILY 37:42
Okay, well, we don't even know what to call it though because we haven't checked what's available on Instagram.
JENNY 37:47
We're the worst podcasters in the world, this feels like it's just so amateur hour.
LILY 37:55
I know we're doing like our development, our business development during the podcast. People are like Do that on your own time. And we're like, No, we're gonna do it on your time. We're gonna make you listen to it on your commute. I think it's just funny cause everyone's like, yeah, it's really great, just like, show the humanity like, let people peek behind the curtain a little bit and see the inner workings. And we're just like, What curtain? We're not even trying to shield this, behind the scenes. I don't know, well, maybe that can be a goal next week, we get an Instagram and at least get the handle so you can say, and then maybe we'll get a Gmail or something so people can email us their hate mail [laughter] and how we're wrong
JENNY 38:44
and subpoenas [laughter]
LILY 38:46
Exactly. So that could be good. I kind of want it, like, I want to have an email so people can email us if they want. But I also want to never check it just on principle. [Laughter] And just give an update every once in a while, so it's like okay, so we've got 2000 unopened emails, thank you for emailing, like because you know, what are you going to do with them? Nothing. I got a really patronising email the other day, I very rarely get emails through my website. Oh my god. Did you get from what? From a fan?
JENNY 39:19
A reader
LILY 39:21
Oh my god. Okay, Gestephanie, like,
JENNY 39:24
Huh?
LILY 39:26
That's just a running joke with me and Seth well not with me and Seth he just says it a lot. So I guess Okay Stephanie? Gestephanie
JENNY 39:33
Gestephanie. What does that mean?
LILY 39:34
It's like, it's like not it's like the new Karen, I guess.
JENNY 39:38
Oh, okay. Gestephanie ...
LILY 39:40
Because they've always got stupid dumb names. Sorry, we should bleep that but yeah, they're always the people that complain and they're like,
JENNY 39:48
right. So this this one's come from Robin P. A man's, a man's spelling of Robin. Okay, Robin comment: Just finished The Secret Son. Full Stop. Punctuation inconsistent but better than most modern books I've read. Full stop. Pardonable imaginary geography hyphen from Gallipoli to Anatolia early last century you needed a boat, or plane comma, I think comma, not just a horse full stop
LILY 40:21
His punctuation so many fucking commas!
JENNY 40:23
Non standard plural of S-H-E-A-F but I enjoyed it full stop. I plan to see whether the local library has your second novel full stop keep up the good work exclamation mark
LILY 40:39
Oh my god, I kind of love Robin. Just in the space of like, what, like eight lines, I have gotten such a full picture of him? Yeah. How do we find him and have him as a guest? And he could just sit in the background yelling out when your punctuation or plurals of the journals are not right. 'But I enjoyed it? Keep up the good work!'
JENNY 41:06
I know! 'Better than most.' What did he say? Anyway?
LILY 41:09
Modern novels. Oh I kind of feel that Robin
JENNY 41:13
No salutation No, no closing off.
LILY 41:16
No. He's just he's got a job to do. He's got some things to say. And he will say them goddamnit. Wow. Well, that's brightened my day. So much.
JENNY 41:25
Good. Good. We can end on that.
LILY 41:27
We can end on that Robin. Robin, if you're listening, Robin P, get in touch. I want to be your friend. Wow.
JENNY 41:39
That's funny, because I read it and I got a little bit on my high horse and I wanted to reply and kind of, you know, get defensive. And then I thought no, I'm not gonna reply Robin can just stew in his. Whatever
LILY 41:52
I think I think Robin might think he's being a bit helpful. I'm not sure.
JENNY 41:57
Oh they always they always do they always do.
LILY 41:59
Yeah. I think by Robin standards, that's kind of glowing praise. As someone who doesn't know him, that's how I read it
JENNY 42:08
Reading between the lines, I take that as well. Because number one, he's actually taken the time to go and find my website and send this and these people usually don't. And his praise is begrudging and it's couched with criticism, but
LILY 42:26
I think he's someone who hates everything. Always. He actually likes this. He hates that he likes it. So you're gonna, he's gonna tell you the parts he doesn't like, but he's still there being like, Oh, he's gonna read your next book. He's going to a physical library.
JENNY 42:41
I know. But he won't like the next book.
LILY 42:43
Well, I hope he tells you because I want more mail from Robin
JENNY 42:49
Definitely Robin will email again if he reads the second one
LILY 42:51
Imagine and he hates it, but he still ends up with 'I'm waiting to hear, to see what you write next. I will read it.' Like he just keeps reading it. That's so interesting. He obviously hates well, for someone who doesn't like modern literature and obviously doesn't have a lot of respect for it. Can you send me a picture of that? I just, oh, that tickles my fancy so much.
JENNY 43:15
I will send it to you. Yeah, but I Oh, here we go. I've got quite a few comments.
LILY 43:25
I love this. This is our other, this is our other special. We just read your fan slash. I wouldn't even call it hate. Just like
JENNY 43:35
Oh well I've got quite a few. Why don't next time we'll do some others. But I remember there was one woman who said 1982, there was no blue moon in December. There was only one full moon in December.
LILY 43:48
Oh I love these people.
JENNY 43:54
There's quite a few actually.
LILY 43:56
Oh my god save them. This is like we have to finish with these. Because I'm like crying. I'm like, Who are they? Who are these people that have the audacity and who think they're being helpful but also have the knowledge like oh, oh my god, they're so special. They're just such special. I love them. Oh. Yeah, wow. That's pretty cool. I also think it's because a part of me, a part of me that I think will become more and more pronounced the older I get, are these people. Like I've told you and I've ranted probably on here about the road works and my views on that. Like you know what I mean, I'm this disgruntled person on the inside. Oh my god, I so identify with them. Oh my god. Well, that was great. Thank you, Robin.
JENNY 44:58
Yeah, thank you, Robin of New Zealand.
LILY 45:01
Buoyed my spirits. Oh he's a Kiwi. 'Robuhn'. Oh my god. Pretty good, you know?
JENNY 45:08
Yeah. All right then we'll do... yeah, it's mainly men that write actually, that's interesting.
LILY 45:15
I do think that's like just another form of mansplaining.
JENNY 45:19
Yeah, it is. Yeah.
LILY 45:20
They're like, Oh, let me tell you you might not understand or you might not like you just don't know. Like, no. I've I've done my research and made these choices. Ah, that's so funny. Like also this is fiction like, you know, no one's here being like This is a textbook.
JENNY 45:40
On that note, I'll send
LILY 45:42
On that joyous note. Thank you. I'm going to show everyone I'm sure. Okay, well, good to chat,
JENNY 45:51
Good to chat. Yeah, good to chat, and please don't sue us.
LILY 45:55
Or if you do, email us at our email and we will attend to your email very quickly and promptly. It will not get lost in the millions of emails. Anyway. Yeah. Okay. Well I'll talk to you soon. Ok, bye!
JENNY 46:09
Love you bye.
LILY 46:17
Please hit the subscribe button so you won't miss out on any of our bad content. Don't forget to rate us at least one star and leave your scathing reviews wherever you find your podcasts. That way we can bring our bad content to the rest of the world. Thanks for listening. And please don't sue us.
JENNY 46:35
Thanks for listening. And please don't sue us. Yeah, don't
LILY 46:38
sue us. Please. Rude