LILY
Well, you really, the earlier you start the journey and documenting it, the more you see the growth, and the more you see the phases. And that's just fascinating, because that's what life is, you know, we all like to pretend we've been the way we are now always, but it's not true. So yeah, I think for me, I definitely you know, and I definitely talk about people and about crushes and about for me, it's always been book characters. So I'm sure I re-read say The Mortal Instruments at some point. And when I've been journalling, I'm sure I talked about Jace and how in love with him... I think I have mentioned actually, one where I'm like, I will never love anyone, like I love this book character, even now at the age of 25.
JENNY
And is that true? No one's come-?
LILY
No one. No one. Bjorn maybe the closest kind of in terms of-
JENNY
How's Seth gonna feel hearing that?
LILY
Well, Seth has to I think maybe feel lucky because I am comparing him to a more mature love as opposed to a teen love and teen desires. Yeah, if he's in it for longevity, he doesn't want to be compared to Jace. He'd want to be in his own category, which he is. So you kind of no one in real life has made me feel like that. And I don't think anyone will. Because no one can make me feel- as I can make me feel, you know, yeah, no one can do that. Because it's my imagination. So I know everything. Yeah. That whatever reality they can provide for me is never as good as the one in my head. [Laughter] Yeah, it's interesting. I think mine is very much what's happening. And so the way you kind of just will skim over a lot of detail about you know, we talked about the sex with S or whatever, but didn't get into it. Like I say it's a dialogue. He said this is... Yeah, like I say, verbatim, or at least very close to conversations. I have I have copied down conversations. Some with Bjorn word for word. I think I'm there to like, document. Which is why I do it every day. And yeah, it's everything that happens, which is why it's probably going to be quite boring, because you know... Well, if we ever run it, you know, I don't think we'll ever run out of material at the rate we're going. But if the podcast somehow becomes a multi-generational podcast and my child was doing it with me, maybe we'd finally get to my content. Yeah. It will be boring. But we'll see or at least, very, very cringe, because I do include all the detail. But um, yeah.
JENNY
it's not real
LILY
Well, I mean, I will also probably include the detail, but that would be interesting to, to see that because maybe I've got a sensibility of that. I don't want to write down absolutely everything. I don't I don't know, well, even so you've kind of touched on it. You said I don't write all of my innermost thoughts, which is very interesting. So there still is that kind of holding, holding back. Interesting. Because for me, it's like, I, I have written everything that I have not ever said to anyone. A lot of kind of, just in a way everyone doesn't that but you know, I write my judgements of other people. I write that down. I write my bitchiness, I write my, you know, criticisms as well. All of that comes out. Yeah, so
JENNY
I still think I'm sort of probably easing into it. And well, that's the thing get me learning. Over time, I think it does become more detailed and more.
LILY
Well, more is going to happen in life. Also, there might be more of an imperative to debrief and work through stuff as opposed to
JENNY
yeah at the moment I'm a fly on the wall, observing
LILY
you. Just, yeah,
JENNY
at gatherings
LILY
waiting to meet you know, Pubic Hair Bear and all these kinds of other characters milling about but yeah, it's interesting. I'm very fascinated to see not only how you know, you change and grow, but how the way you style this, changes and grows to fit that and to fit your needs. Because I think that's also just from a documentary kind of standpoint. Really interesting to see that, that progression in, in this kind of style. And also oh my god, _____ is here. Oh my God. Hi.
JENNY
Is he out the window?