Content note: we talk about sex, and we apologise for Lily's bad sound quality
SPEAKERS
LILY (the daughter), JENNY (the mother)
JENNY 00:00
This episode contains explicit language and is not suitable for younger audiences. We also talk about sex and really apologise for Lily's poor sound quality
Are you looking at yourself in the mirror?
LILY 00:25
Yeah.
JENNY 00:28
Fair enough.
LILY 00:29
I had spinach in my omelette
JENNY 00:31
Yeah I can see it
LILY 00:33
Actually I think I'm gonna need to floss
JENNY 00:36
That's alright. Go and do it.
LILY 00:38
Okay, great. Yeah, it's probably good practice on my part to floss before.
JENNY 00:47
What do you mean?
LILY 00:50
Well, yeah, just like, you know, before, before we film ourselves for a podcast. I should probably do that.
JENNY 00:56
Oh sure. Yeah.
LILY 01:01
I was really good. It was good. But I'm actually I'm not bad at making omelettes. I can get them quite omelette-looking.
JENNY 01:12
You're not bad with omelettes? You can make them kind of omelette like, well done!
LILY 01:17
They're hard! They're hard to do!
JENNY 01:20
Yeah, they're not easy. It's not like a scrambled egg.
LILY 01:22
No. So I get the fold and everything. Sometimes it splits when I fold it, I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure if it's like too high heat
JENNY 01:32
or too many fillings?
LILY 01:34
no, I'm very careful about the filling situation. I'm not sure if I'm just waiting until too late to fold or potentially like it's already
JENNY 01:43
dried out a bit. Yeah, do you know about rolling the pan and pulling back the edges so that the egg continues to run around the edges? So what you do is you have it cooking on the first side. And then once it starts to sort of become sort of solidish, you sort of with your spatula, go around the edge, and you sort of just pull the edges a bit. And you'll see that they'll start to- they're looking cooked, but then all the raw egg can then- you sort of tip the pan a bit and it runs to fill that gap at the edges. And that cooks as well. And so you sort of just keep doing that a bit. And then once that, once all the top egg is cooked, and you don't have any running when you do that tipping when you do the pulling in from the edges, then that would be the time to halve it over, flip. Because you don't flip it completely just fold it.
LILY 02:40
Yeah. Yeah. Okay, cool. That's good, either. Yeah. I'm also using like olive oil spread instead of butter because you know, health reasons and such and I feel like it just sticks a little bit more to the pan for whatever reason.
JENNY 02:54
What's olive oil spread? Is that like a butter but olive oil?
LILY 02:58
That was just, I guess olive oil in a different form. And you know, it was yummy. I had some frozen spinach in which I rediscovered anyway. So do you like my hair?
JENNY 03:10
What I can see of it? Yeah, it looks good. Your hair always looks good. What's different about it?
LILY 03:14
Well I did a different drying technique. I didn't do the robe tie. I just literally just twisted it. Ah, and had it. Yeah, low Princess Leia buns and it's come out so much more curlier than I anticipated.
JENNY 03:29
Oh, very good.
LILY 03:31
it was much more comfortable. Yeah.
JENNY 03:33
Yeah, you could even much easier too, to do that, and quicker. You can also experiment with pin curls, like just you know, curling them and just pinning them.
LILY 03:44
Yeah, I have thought about that. Yeah, I could do that. Anyway, but I actually did this because I was just trying to- what what isn't just
JENNY 03:51
stomping, someone?
LILY 03:52
Yeah, we're a house of stompers. So that's the thing, like even if I'm here trying my best to like not drink tea and now shift, I am in a share house like yeah,
JENNY 04:02
that's okay. It's authentic. It's real reality.
LILY 04:06
We all walk with purpose, which is what I like to call stomping which is Oh, you're such a stomper. It's like yeah, I walk with like intention. I'm going somewhere, I'm doing things. I'm going to walk like I mean it, like I'm not these little fairy footed nymphs who are just like floating along-
JENNY 04:21
and people who just sidle up behind you and you don't know they're there
LILY 04:24
yeah it's terrifying, it's like what the fuck are you doing? training for some kind of heist? I don't get it
JENNY 04:30
For a heist probably or just yeah, like I'm a stomper. As you know,
LILY 04:35
I just kind of think that it it says something about people psychologically. People who are soft footed as opposed to people who stomp, it's I think it says something about how they've been taught to exist in their space, and some kind of awkwardness about space. Yeah, an acute self awareness of trying to minimise,
JENNY 04:56
it's unconscious probably.
LILY 04:58
Yeah, I think so. Or they've felt stressed or anxious, or awkward about
JENNY 05:04
so they're holding back in their bodies
LILY 05:06
holding back, I think so. And I don't think it's good for you
JENNY 05:08
We don't hold back
LILY 05:09
don't we just go along?
JENNY 05:12
And people might think stomping means actually deliberately stomping, it's not that, it's just actually heavy steps, heavy footfall
LILY 05:21
I don't know. Yeah, and I don't and it's interesting because there's, it's not I think a lot of people associate it with a weight thing.
JENNY 05:28
Yeah. And I was gonna say it's not to do with weight
LILY 05:31
no you get some very tiny people who stomp all over the place
JENNY 05:34
Yeah, I mean, you've stomped since you were a child and ______ who's, you know, and other people I know, who are large of body, they got they just have- make no sound.
LILY 05:49
Yeah, no, it's like, are you just hovering like some weird undead beast? I just don't like it. It really does unsettle me
JENNY 05:58
It unsettles me when people appear. Like, I like to know that people are coming. I like to know that someone is approaching, like I'm talking about in the house. Yeah, I'm out on the street when it's, although I do like that as well. But you don't hear it on the street necessarily. In the house with people I know. I like to know if I'm alone or not. And if I'm in the kitchen, or someone's arriving,
LILY 06:22
I agree
JENNY 06:23
and I don't want to- people come up behind me and I turn and they're right there. I don't like it
LILY 06:27
they're right there. Breathing down your neck. Face so close. No, but I agree and I think particularly with foot heavy, heavier foot fall, heavier walking style, if you will. You learn people's footsteps.
JENNY 06:44
Absolutely
LILY 06:45
And so you can then tell who's coming. And that's a subconscious thing
JENNY 06:49
Yeah. And that'll be animalistic. That's primal. That'll be going back to is this
LILY 06:54
friend or foe
JENNY 06:55
Familiar. Yeah. So people should email us. Let us know. About do you stomp? Or are you one of those floating dementors that just appear? And regularly frighten your people?
LILY 07:12
Yeah, if so please, justify yourself as to why you think that is
JENNY 07:17
Yeah, we'd like to know why, as stompers we'd like to and I'd like to know why whether people are aware of it and aware of the difference because the non-stompers would be very aware of the stompers.
LILY 07:27
Yes, and that is a conversation we've definitely had in the house
JENNY 07:30
are there non stompers in your house?
LILY 07:34
Well _______ is a non stomper. ______'s not stompy No. And then Seth is very ...
JENNY 07:44
What's that noise?
LILY 07:45
That's _____ stomping. He's ultimate stomper.
JENNY 07:48
[Laughter] Like that's his door? or what the hell was that, it was like someone dragging furniture?
LILY 07:55
Oh, my God, it's that sensitive. That's why-
JENNY 07:57
the microphones are good, man. I didn't skimp on the microphones. They're good mid-range [laughter]
LILY 08:06
[Laughter] mid range... Yeah, like, yeah, for the first utterance of...
JENNY 08:11
I wasn't going to pay $400 or more for microphones
LILY 08:14
well not where we got stomping going on. Yeah.
JENNY 08:17
But also because we just didn't know whether we would do this or not. And we still haven't released anything. So
LILY 08:22
we still haven't done this even so you were quite I would say trigger happy with the microphones? You ordered them way before we even recorded anything-
JENNY 08:29
Oh yeah. I was very trigger happy but sometimes you've just got to you got to do you've got to build it and they will come, and you've got to jump because then you otherwise you'll never do anything.
LILY 08:39
You're so right. You can buy a microphone and Lily will start talking
JENNY 08:43
yeah. Because I bought two. This is episode 14. They know that but we didn't know it. But now we know this is episode 14. Look at that!
LILY 08:54
Yeah, I love how prepared we come into every episode what we're up to. Anyway, yeah. Should we start reading? Actually? 15 minutes. That's been one of the more succinct intros. I think we've done. Okay. Fifteen minutes chat is...
JENNY 09:15
Good.
LILY 09:15
you're welcome listeners. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so yes, we're gonna be a little bit more formal in our introduction and
JENNY 09:26
more intention. Yeah. So welcome to My Mum's Bad Diaries.
LILY 09:34
As we have established this is episode 14
JENNY 09:37
yeah we've been tossing up, we've been going between My Mum Wrote a Journal and My Mum's Bad Diary.
LILY 09:46
We're gonna say that. Yeah,
JENNY 09:48
I think we say it and we say the reason why we've settled on My Mum's Bad Diaries is because it connects to the Bad Diaries, the Salons, and so on. But also we didn't want to get sued by My Dad Wrote A Porno people.
LILY 09:58
Yes, which... Yeah, I think just also good to, I don't know, it's interesting the difference of the use of the word 'journal' and 'diary'. I don't know, if one is more Anglicised or American or I don't really know much about it. And I think something about having 'bad' in the title is necessary because it kind of it kind of then is more descriptive of my reaction to it. So yeah, whereas like My Mum Wrote a Journal. Yeah, that could be i could just just be talking about you having written a journal, it could be anything, but My Mum's Bad Diaries is very much, it says a little bit more about the relationship of what we're doing here. And that kind of my view on them, I guess.
JENNY 10:38
Yeah, true. And also, I've never thought of these since I started writing them. It was always my diary. Never my journal
LILY 10:46
Whereas I say journal. Yeah, I don't say diary. And I wonder if that's maybe that's a subconscious thing to differentiate for your diary, 'diarying', but I definitely, I've always had a date diary.
JENNY 11:02
Yeah, yeah, I guess, probably technically, these are journals rather than diaries. But I've always called them diaries. And yeah, I like, just I like the word diary better than journal. It's, it's kind of clear what it is, that it's personal. Whereas journaling can be used for a whole range of different things.
LILY 11:22
Whereas I feel like diary, I get very stuck in that Dear Diary, which generally feels more like meh, feelings. But then the flip side of that is more kind of earnest journaling of 20 somethings.
JENNY 11:37
Yeah, but also diaries. Dear Diary, I mean, that's not too far away from kind of how these.
LILY 11:44
Well, how you structure
JENNY 11:45
Yeah, how I've written them and the kind of that teen element that will carry through the 20s as well.
LILY 11:54
Kind of? Yeah, cause you kind of, you sign off. And it's, there's more of a voice. You know?
JENNY 12:02
Yeah. Yeah. Rather than just a pure record.
LILY 12:06
Yeah. Which is very much what mine are anyway, so yeah.
JENNY 12:10
Welcome to My Mum Wrote a Diary. Yeah, No sorry. Sorry I'm getting confused. Welcome to My Mum's Bad Diaries. And I'm Jenny.
LILY 12:21
And I'm Lily, the daughter. Oh no, we're not doing that.
JENNY 12:24
No, we're not. You told me off the other day when I when we were practising on our walk Yeah, well, but you said it so many times it's in my head now. I know. I know. Alright. So. And we'll keep all this in because it's funny. [Laughter]
LILY 12:37
Yeah. Okay. We'll see.
JENNY 12:39
Yeah, welcome to My Mum's Bad Diaries. I'm Jenny and I'll be reading
LILY 12:45
and I'm Lily, I'm listening and asking many questions and having many comments
JENNY 12:50
Yes, I'm sure. He digressions Yeah,
LILY 12:53
many rants, you know, for want of a better word, I guess. Yeah, shall we?
JENNY 12:59
Let's start. So we left off with John McEnroe forever.
LILY 13:05
Oh, yes. Finish strong with a bit of McEnroe love.
JENNY 13:09
And then also Oh, that's right. Yep. So page 200. In capitals. Would you believe the date today is 8th 7th 1981. Yes, you'd better believe it. This is the second time in two days that I have written. Today D brought with an R the ANT tickets for the concert. It should be great. So that's Adam and the Ants
LILY 13:39
So this is... is the first Ant sighting? At the concert?
JENNY 13:45
Yeah, yeah, no. So he only- he came out in 1981. He only did a few concerts at Festival Hall. And when you say first sighting, what do you mean? Exactly?
LILY 13:58
Like it's your first time you? You went to see him
JENNY 14:01
Yeah yeah. First and only, yeah first opportunity.
LILY 14:04
The first time you breathed the same air?
JENNY 14:07
Yes. And up until then, it had just been seeing him on Countdown, or on TV. You know, I mean, Countdown was probably the only visual. I know, there were probably a couple of others. We'd go and buy magazines, and there'd be articles or photos of him. So
LILY 14:24
yeah, so just wait, was he British or American?
JENNY 14:28
British.
LILY 14:29
Okay, right. Was he quite famous? No.
JENNY 14:32
super famous.
LILY 14:34
Yeah. Some reason I thought of him as quite niche. That the New Romantics were maybe a bit niche
JENNY 14:42
No, he was very, yeah, he was very mainstream, I would say not niche at all. Yeah. But in terms of the history of the band's rise and fame, I'm not quite sure where July 1981 is at on that timeline but I would say if he's coming to Australia to do concerts, he's big. Yeah. Yeah.
LILY 15:08
Yeah, they don't ship him out here unless...
JENNY 15:10
No, it's so far away. Yeah, he would have already done concerts in
LILY 15:14
everywhere else
JENNY 15:15
Birmingham and Manchester before he comes to Melbourne. Yeah. It should be great. I'm so excited. I don't know what to wear, something WAY OUT. I can't wait
LILY 15:26
'way out'. Some kind of clog maybe.
JENNY 15:31
What did you say? Some kind of clog. No clog!
LILY 15:34
Weren't you in a clog at this point?
JENNY 15:36
Yeah, but just wait, wait, yeah, no, no clog. Because the footwear is extremely relevant. And there will be it will be in the diaries
LILY 15:47
relevant to the night or to-.
JENNY 15:51
Phase, the whole phase, moving into a whole phase? I'm moving into
LILY 15:55
Oh I'm intrigued
JENNY 15:57
Today at school in the morning ______ was looking pretty down. I asked her if she was tired. No pensive, no. Upset. Yes. I told her not to let ______ get her down that she says she can't help feeling upset when ______'s in the room
LILY 16:14
is this about the boy?
JENNY 16:16
Yeah, remember last time there was stuff around the boy? Yes. Personally, I think _____'s overreacting, but she needs support at the moment. Cause she's sad, and we all need friends who shut up and don't tell us what we should and shouldn't do when we're sad. We don't need that kind of support.
LILY 16:35
That's very insightful of you, to really, kind of-
JENNY 16:40
isn't it?
LILY 16:41
You know, recognise that I think that's one of the hardest things to learn.
JENNY 16:44
Don't turn your head.
LILY 16:46
Sorry, why?
JENNY 16:47
talk to the microphone, please?
LILY 16:48
Yeah, why does it change the volume at all?
JENNY 16:51
It does. Yeah. For me to recognise that kind of?
LILY 16:57
Well, yeah, it's just one of the hardest things to, I think realise as a friend, or as anyone you interact with, is that like, you know, do you, you have to kind of assess or as long as it's even good to very much like just overly ask, like, do you want advice? Or do you want comfort, because those two things can be very different. And I think a lot of people really slip into that advice-giving role and it just makes you feel so unheard. Because you're like, I'm smart. I can do all of this myself.
JENNY 17:23
Yeah, you just want to you just want to talk it out. And I know that you with your friends have, like you've even got, like you even overt it. You say do you want advice? Or do you want comfort? Is that what you say?
LILY 17:38
Yeah, like me and ____ have got quite good at that. Yeah.
JENNY 17:41
Which is great. zto sort of flag it up front. So what is it that you want from me? I can perform either role but just nyeahlet me know which one it is.
LILY 17:49
Yeah, I often find as well as, give comfort first and foremost. It willl transition into advice and then start to say, maybe I should do it. And then yeah, if your opinions and yeah, yes. You can't come in really hard when someone's feeling a certain way and be like, This is what you should do because it makes them feel that they've been dumb. They haven't done the right thing. It's their fault.
JENNY 18:11
Good. So I'll listen if she wants to talk and won't pressure her if she doesn't get my drift. I've got another busy weekend coming up. On Saturday night, Dee's having a sort of small gathering / party. Oh, we used to call it gatherings too, interesting. Yeah, we didn't. We didn't call it a gathering but maybe we did.
LILY 18:32
That's so funny because like, I feel like for me 'gatherings' or 'gaths' which is such a like yeah senior school like end of high school right? Yeah, thing maybe a little bit start of uni. And now it's like well, I guess until the foreseeable future you know, what we now would call a gathering is now like a party because like certain people say in the house which is what we were allowed, would never have been called a party years ago, but now it's like oh my god we're having a party
JENNY 19:09
Yes, it's really changed completely. Yeah, having a gathering party that should be fun. Apparently K — so the boy at the centre of this issue — is going
LILY 19:20
So much drama. And I bet you he just doesn't even get what's going on, and the havoc he has wreaked. He's just there like being like a teenage boy.
JENNY 19:30
Yeah, no, he would have had no idea and I think guys tend not to. Apparently he's going fair enough. But and here's the good news. Pubic Hair Bear and Scotty might be going too.
LILY 19:42
What?
JENNY 19:43
I don't know.
LILY 19:43
Who's Pubic Hair Bear?
JENNY 19:45
Oh, I've heard all about these two chappies, the most hated boys in Queens College. _____ was with Bear a couple of times. She likes his body but not his mind. He's a real sex boy. [Laughter]
LILY 19:58
Oh my god so much to unpack. Okay, So you're excited they're coming? Why? Because you just you want to witness.
JENNY 20:04
I've heard about them. I want to see this. I want to see these people.
LILY 20:07
Yes. See it unfold. What did you call him? Sex-
JENNY 20:12
boy. So there you go. We didn't use the term fuck boy, but we had sex boy.
LILY 20:17
Oh, yeah, sure. Interesting. Yeah.
JENNY 20:20
The '80s version of fuck boy
LILY 20:23
Yeah, this is what- before they got, you know, online dating and transformed- morphed into the fuckboys we've got today
JENNY 20:35
The most hated boys in Queens? What an achievement!
LILY 20:39
that is, just considering that just generally-
JENNY 20:42
the behaviour would have been been *appalling* in the 80s.
LILY 20:45
It's appalling now just imagine
JENNY 20:46
I know it would have been even more appalling
LILY 20:48
So to be the worst of that bunch. Good luck to you. Also, just like it is wild to me that the way attitudes have changed. That you're going to parties with uni students with with that.
JENNY 21:03
Yeah. So what what, we are Year 12? They're probably first year though. But maybe second year, but probably first year?
LILY 21:09
That's true. Yeah. Which is crazy. But it is a world apart like uni to high school
JENNY 21:16
That's interesting, because we have in a previous episode, talked about this. And I was saying to you, but three years at this age to three years at this age is quite big. And was that common? And you were saying? Yeah, it was common two years apart? Maybe not so much three, but it wasn't unheard of. And I was thinking wow, at this age, three years is a big difference. So there's a difference. And you said
LILY 21:39
not unheard of. But it wasn't common. It wasn't common. Yeah. And it was odd. And it was like, Oh, my God that's Year 9 dating a year 10. Or a Year 11, that's kind of a bit fucked up. Yeah, it was a young girl dating an old guy, which is you know how it tends to go? Yeah. And I do find it odd. Like I know people, you know, Year 11s and 12s date, and then one goes to uni. But I just I do find it strange like to be in uni and dating someome that's still in school.
JENNY 22:06
No, I think it's very odd now, but yeah, anyway, but you see these are not just college guys hooking up with her. But they're also friends of her brother's, which is sort of still weird, but so so common. And so how things happened, and it would work the reverse as well. There'd be older sisters friends cracking on to their younger brothers and things like that
LILY 22:28
Really?
JENNY 22:29
I'm not saying in my- not to my knowledge. But in these times that was something that happened. I mean, young guys' first experiences was often with older girls. That is probably still the case.
LILY 22:44
Yeah, interesting. Yeah. All I remember is like any younger brothers of my friends in school. Yeah, they were just young. Like, it wasn't that they were off [bounds]. It's like no one did that.
JENNY 22:57
Oh I thought they might be off. What's the word off?
LILY 22:59
Limits? Off Limits? Well, yeah, I don't think it would have gone over particularly well, just like I don't think you should ever kind of date your friends' siblings, really. It's not going to end well.
JENNY 23:08
But I didn't, we didn't have so much of a- that wasn't so verboten back then.
LILY 23:14
Well, yeah, I guess maybe you met people, this is what happened.
JENNY 23:19
Especially if you're at a private, you know, a single-sex school.
LILY 23:22
Well actually, maybe that's the difference and maybe in single-sex environments. That's what happens, but I feel like for us, it was like, like, why would you do that? We've got you know, 80 boys here to deal with you don't need to kind of go outside.
JENNY 23:38
Yeah, exactly. You don't need to go outside the school gates to find the guys. Um, apparently... So, he's a real sex boy. So that's talking about Bear. Apparently Scotty is so crude. ______ likes him, thinks he's funny. She thinks he's got a sexy face. So I'll have to check him out.
LILY 23:58
Right. Right. So really picking and choosing she's like: I like that guy's body, I like that guy's face. Their minds are shit!! [Laughter]
JENNY 24:05
[Laughter] I know. They like terrible, they're the most hated guys in Queens, but...
LILY 24:10
Bring him along. Yeah, funny.
JENNY 24:13
As I've heard so much about them. I'm dying to see them, just see what they look like. I also want to see _____'s lover. Lover!!
LILY 24:19
Lover.
JENNY 24:22
Who is apparently very horny and kinky. So should be an enlightening and interesting evening. So I'm just kind of like hearing all this shit
LILY 24:32
The fly on the wall, being: I can't wait to see these characters come to life.
JENNY 24:38
[Laughter] Lover!! That's funny. And I think I remember that. Yeah, definitely wasn't boyfriend it was a lover so probably like a friend, like a just a, fuck buddy back then.
LILY 24:52
Well, this is what fuck buddies are
JENNY 24:53
But we didn't call it that. We called lover.
LILY 24:54
Lovers. It's so much nicer. I kind of feel like you need to be, I'm sorry, there has to be some kind of skill level.
JENNY 25:03
Can you put your head down?
LILY 25:04
Sorry skill level test
JENNY 25:07
for them to get that label?
LILY 25:08
Yeah. I don't think- I think you need to be like and or French maybe, or at least like 25 + and have been with multiple women. Like you need- your orgasm score needs to be like out there to be deemed a 'lover'.
JENNY 25:22
So where's the certificate? Yeah, we need to see the papers
LILY 25:25
Exactly. Someone needs to be regulating this. We can't have men just calling themselves 'lovers'. Because that's anarchy and I won't stand for it. But yeah. Also, I want to know what, I want to know what 'kinky' is.
JENNY 25:38
Yeah, mee too
LILY 25:39
What kinky is in the 80s as well, it's intriguing to me. It's like what he likes giving head or like getting a blowjob or something.
JENNY 25:47
Maybe maybe that was the area of kink. But maybe. Yeah, God knows. And I don't have it written down thus far. But very horny. Not unusual. Kinky. Yeah. What does that mean, but it won't be anything that is categorised as kinky these days.
LILY 26:05
Probably not.
JENNY 26:07
Yeah, yeah. It'll be something titillating and kind of like, ooooh, it wouldn't be because say it was anal sex, then I wouldn't use the word kinky. I'd be like, that's gross kind of stuff. No judgements! I know that people you know, but back then I would have been like, wow, nah.
LILY 26:24
Yeah. So that wasn't happening. People weren't doing that, right
JENNY 26:29
Well, at the age of 17, probably I mean, but people would have been doing it, but I probably
LILY 26:33
Really? At that age?
JENNY 26:34
Probably didn't hear about it. People have probably done it for forever.
LILY 26:39
I know but I wonder if it would have been common amongst your age group
JENNY 26:42
Not common amongst my age.
LILY 26:43
No, I'm sure people in the world were doing it because we've done shit forever,
JENNY 26:47
but not at 17 or my age group, I wouldn't imagine.
LILY 26:52
It's very interesting to see how like sexual acts like transition from kind of the oh, this is this is all this kind of sexual stuff you could do into the oh this is the sexual stuff you do do. And there's been a lot of those transitions, I feel like kind of between our generations of things that are like, Oh, this is all the realm of possibility to oh this as the kind of standard practice of what's included in sex. I feel like that's changed, like a lot.
JENNY 27:21
And I know, I do know someone that sort of around the age of 16, 17 was having anal sex with her boyfriend. And that's not too much later to come like that's in another five years, but who knows what that situation was.
LILY 27:36
Was she also having vaginal sex?
JENNY 27:40
Yeah.
LILY 27:42
Because I know that sometimes, religious...
JENNY 27:44
No, it wasn't, it wasn't a religious thing. It wasn't a contraception thing. She was doing other stuff as well, they were doing, you know, the more regular stuff as well. So, and this was quite kind of like, Oh, my God, you know?
LILY 27:56
Yeah, that's wild to me. Like I, I have I haven't done it. You know what I mean? And I'm 25. And that's, you know, do what you will I really don't care. Yeah. And it is such a personal choice. But, yeah, when I do think of certain things when you're so young, it's like how it was like, when anything, any choice that kind of I guess teenagers make? How do you know that that's like informed consent? And they actually are?
JENNY 28:20
Well, I read- you know, thinking about that situation. I think that's more about the guy than about her. And what does it say about that? That's just my instant, was sort of was sort of conservative reaction, because it may well have been about her saying, let's try this. And maybe maybe
LILY 28:38
like, everyone has different like, I guess. Yeah, goals, they want out of sex or things that turn them on or whatever that is. Yeah, I'm just like a big believer, like okay, until I'm consistently coming when we have sex, we're not getting fancy with shit. We're focusing on the basics. So many people don't do that. And that's been my kind of, like, approach. You know, for a long time. It's like, cool until I'm either confident enough to do that for myself during sex or communicate that during sex, or my partner is, you know, attentive and engaged enough with what I need during sex, kind of, we're not ready. We're not mature enough to progress beyond that. Because if that's not happening, I'm not. Yeah, I'm not trying new shit.
JENNY 29:23
Yeah, it makes sense. Makes sense. And I mean, I think probably, traditionally, that would have been more the case, people sort of do all the vanilla stuff, then get bored with that and they start trying other stuff.
LILY 29:36
Like I expect to be having sex into my like, 80s or 90s. Hopefully, fingers crossed, whatever I heard about the nursing homes, you know, so.
JENNY 29:40
Good on you! Good on you!
LILY 29:46
So, gotta keep something for then. You know?
JENNY 29:49
Exactly. You could be doing your BDSM in the nursing home.
LILY 29:53
Exactly.
JENNY 29:55
Save it for then. A sex- instead of a sex boy you can be a sex old lady. [Laughter]
LILY 30:05
[Laughter] Yeah, a sex nana. No that sounds like a fucked up pornhub tag...
JENNY 30:09
[Laughter] Oh my god. Sex Nana.
LILY 30:16
Anyway, yeah, but very interesting.
JENNY 30:18
It is. It is. So should be an enlightening and interesting evening. Then on Sunday morning, dad, Jim and I are going to Inverloch. I think Liz's coming too and as we've got Monday off, we'll probably stay down there then as well. I'll have stacks of work to do. Lit option, Northanger Abbey essay and assignment. Anyway, I'd better go now and reread Northanger Abbey. Bye. J... 30th of July. It's getting onto 11 o'clock and the long weekend is drawing to a close. Tonight dad and Liz and I returned from Inverloch where we spent yesterday and today. Last night we decided to go into Wonthaggi to have a Chinese meal at Wah Fook's joint. Here I am again with the 'joint.'
LILY 31:04
Granddad loves his Chinese.
JENNY 31:07
Yeah he does. Yeah. The headlights on the Passat weren't working properly. Remember this problematic vehicle? And dad couldn't see the road at all with high-beam on so we drove to Wonthaggi on high-beam, turning it off when cars... Hang on. Dad couldn't see the road at all, maybe *without* high-beam. So we drove to Wonthaggi on high-beam, turning it off when the cars drove past in the other direction. It was only a 10-minute drive, but we passed a number of cars. We almost had to pull to a standstill because dad couldn't see where he was going. Especially as the other cars' headlights would blind him. Luckily we got to Wah Fooks, had a nice meal and happily made it home.
LILY 31:54
All in the pursuit of Chinese food. Like yeah, you could have just stayed at the house. But
JENNY 32:00
no, no, no. Yeah. At the moment. I'm sitting in my room listening to Devo Whip It on a cassette. So do you remember I said oh, yes, it becomes like a theme in a way, like it's for me, that is 1981, Year 12. On a cassette. We'll have to put a photo of a cassette tape. For those young people who don't know what a cassette is
LILY 32:25
Yeah, that's so funny. Like, I still had cassettes. I had cassettes.
JENNY 32:29
Yeah, you did.
LILY 32:30
I've ranged cassette, CDs and then you know, yeah, mp3, whatever.
JENNY 32:35
Exactly. Yeah. I love the Ants' new single Stand and Deliver.
LILY 32:43
'The Ants'?'
JENNY 32:43
Yeah, that's- that's familiar, because I'm the number one fan. So I don't say Adam, Adam and the Ants. It's just very cool. Yeah, I'm the dandy highway man. You're too scared to mention, I spend my cash on looking flash and grabbing your attention. And then in brackets, some of the lyrics. He's so sexy. All the way home from Inverloch I fantasised about him. He's so good looking, exquisite bone structure. I'd love to walk into a party with him and introduce him to everyone. Especially _____. So _____'s also a rabid fan.
LILY 33:19
Wow. Right
JENNY 33:20
So she and I, obviously we're in a class together. And even though D really loved him as well. Obviously _____ and I kind of like
LILY 33:30
the you're in the frenzy.
JENNY 33:33
Yeah.
LILY 33:35
There's nothing like that. Like teenage girl hysteria, for... and it's mainly around music and bands. There's not really the same, like people love actors. Yeah, it's something about the performance and I think the fact you can go and go to a concert and see them live. It's just like, and everyone thinks they're going to be spotted from the stage, of course. And they're gonna you know,
JENNY 34:01
yeah, like Courtney Cox in that, Bruce Springsteen film clip, which was obviously set up. Yeah, this was, I remember this this, you know, I would think about managing to meet him and somehow becoming friends with him. So not even a sexual partner. Just friends. And I used to have, I used to have dreams of famous people and being friends with them. So it was never anything sexual.
LILY 34:27
That's so interesting.
JENNY 34:28
Yeah. So not that, like we're friends like it's more valuable.
LILY 34:32
Yeah right you're just hanging out. They like you as a person.
JENNY 34:36
That's right. And so the idea of walking into a party with Adam Ant and everyone just going crazy, the biggest. So I've got that would be the biggest buzz I can imagine ever happening in my whole life. So I must say that this... now we're ushering in. This is the Adam Ant phase- period of my life.
LILY 34:55
So we're done with God. We into the Ant. We're moving on
JENNY 35:01
And apologies because it does go on for quite a long time, probably longer than it should have or is normal or healthy
LILY 35:09
Right. Sure. So we'll settle in
JENNY 35:11
And it's going to go for episodes and episodes. Well, the DJ on 3XY, 1422 on the dial, has just announced it's 11:05pm. So I think I'll go and listen to Adam. Bye. J... 14th of July 1981. Well, I'm keeping a pretty good record this month n'est-ce pas? Tomorrow, I'm staying home to do my Lit option on Northanger Abbey, which should take me all day. I'm going to get up early in the morning and work solidly. I can't wait to go to Queensland. I'll have to go to the Golden Bowl regularly so I can shape up for Brisbane's golden beaches. K- So the boy at the centre of the drama, who is the brother, is coming up. Because remember, we're going to stay with the older brother.
LILY 35:55
Yes, the oldest and the girlfriend
JENNY 35:57
and the girlfriend. Yep. Yeah. So K is coming up to (with one o, my spelling's not great). And we'll all be
LILY 36:06
You don't have to out yourself ! It's the English teacher in you. It's like, I must share my shame!
JENNY 36:12
Yeah, I will. We'll all be conscious of our fingers in front of him. I'm sure except, of course, but D and _____ will especially ______. I know. She'll be trying.
LILY 36:23
Yes. Sorry, is _______ coming in as well.
JENNY 36:26
No. no, no, she's not right.
LILY 36:29
Mmmm the plot thickens.
JENNY 36:30
Yeah. Yeah. So I know. She'll be trying to look her best to thwart ______ she gets, so I'll call him K. Yeah, she gets brown so easily and quickly. He'll swoon when he sees her and die and vomit when he sees me. Oh, well. I'll just have to tone my muscles by going to the Bowl. Today. ______ gets so excited over Adam. Today we were scheming how we could get to meet him. We're even seriously considering going to Countdown to see him if he's there. Swoon. So Countdown would play film clips, like recorded film clips, but also have bands in live. They'd mime and have an audience that was sort of watch and dance
LILY 37:13
Do '80s dancing
JENNY 37:16
Exactly. We'll find some links for the show notes. Yeah, actually, we'll find, there will be many links of Adam. You know, like, at this time, I can try and find the exact Countdown appearance link. That would be great.
LILY 37:30
I think it would be great if for every episode that you mention him in? We have something Adam related. And it's the Adam archives. You know? So people can go on the journey with you.
JENNY 37:42
Yeah. There's nothing much else to write. There wasn't anything to write at all. But I sort of feel obliged when I see my little brown book sitting there and my big red empty book waiting to be written in so that's obviously volume three is the big red book. Good night. Jenny. 22nd of July 1981. Well, since I last writing this book, I saw the video film (video film!) for Stand and Deliver on Countdown last Saturday. It is SO good.
LILY 38:12
Is that what you're calling a music clip? Sorry, like a music video?
JENNY 38:15
Yeah, like I've got video film instead of- it should be music clip, but we wouldn't have used that term. But I could have just said video
LILY 38:22
Yeah
JENNY 38:25
It is so good. Adam is so good looking. Is *so* sexy. And then I've got some lyrics 'Ant music for sex people; sex music for Ant people'. And then lyrics for from I think Ant Music, which was his first hit. That's his slogan cool, n'est-cepas? Last Wednesday, I bought Kings of the Wild Frontier. The first time I listened to it, I loved the first two songs: Dog Eat Dog and Ant Music. But I thought the rest of the album was pretty non spectacular. Then I listened to it again and again. I LOVE IT. Once I got used to the songs, I like every single one. The concert has been post postponed to the next month: September. So that means longer to wait. He realised how far it was from London to Melbourne and went oh my god.
LILY 39:13
Yeah, he's having to mentally prepare to come down here. You said he didn't drink though right?
JENNY 39:23
He didn't drink, didn't smoke. That was the image
LILY 39:28
Right, so he's like, such a safe bad boy. You know what I mean like. He's got the look. Yeah, that kind of alternative. Yeah, he's got Yeah, character of-.
JENNY 39:39
But maybe he needed to go to rehab for that month.
LILY 39:43
Before he gets unleashed onto but you know, teenage girls,
JENNY 39:47
About Queensland, last night Dor rang up and inquired about transport. Bus, two way return is $120 and plane $150. So it looks like we'll be taking the bus. I can't wait.
LILY 39:58
That would take so long.
JENNY 40:02
Yeah. It will be such an adventure. D's boyfriend from Queens College, K's, friend might also be coming too. Yeah, last Sunday night, ____ and ____ sang at The Spaghetti Theatre and me, D, S, S and L. So there's L
LILY 40:22
L's the...
JENNY 40:23
Right. Went. Me, D, Dor and M all went direct from college because we went to a French day at Melbourne University that afternoon. So L's in the mix here. After dinner. Sorry, do you have a question?
LILY 40:38
Yeah, just what is The Spaghetti Theatre?
JENNY 40:41
So the spaghetti
LILY 40:42
It sounds horrific!
JENNY 40:43
No, it was. I think it's still there. I don't know. Maybe that's The Spaghetti Tree. It was just an Italian restaurant but ______ would sing.
LILY 40:52
Hence the theatre part, I guess.
JENNY 40:54
Well, it wasn't a theatre. Like it wasn't no, but yeah, yeah, it wasn't a theatre restaurant or anything. Like you might be imagining it was just was just an Italian restaurant. They had a little stage and they'd have live music show. And it was in the city probably. And it might even be where The Spaghetti Tree is now. So I'll, I'll do some research and put it in the show notes, a bit of history. After dinner, we went back to Queens and S and I sat in K's room talking, listening to tapes and laughing. Then when the time came for us to leave, K and Scotty bid us farewell by flashing brown eyes at the taxi driver.
LILY 41:34
Flashing what? Sorry??
JENNY 41:35
Brown eyes.
LILY 41:36
What does that mean?
JENNY 41:37
Don't you know what a brown eye is? Oh my god. Oh, it's so 70s and 80s. Okay, a brown eye is when people pull down their pants and bend over. And the brown eye is the hole in the middle. So you're flashing? You're flashing your bum
LILY 41:55
So who was doing this?
JENNY 41:57
K and Scotty
LILY 41:59
Oh my god, no wonder they're the worst in Queens? Oh my god. And then what you had to ride in that taxi with the driver?
JENNY 42:07
I know. The traumatised taxi driver and we will just been hee-hee-hee-hee laughing. Thinking it was so charming and funny.
LILY 42:14
Oh my god, that's disgusting
JENNY 42:16
Yeah. Also, I finally met Bear. I'd heard so much about him and I finally saw him. Much less hairier than I expected.
LILY 42:25
But like, is Bear his name? No, nickname
JENNY 42:29
No it'll be a nickname. I don't know, I haven't. But remember the first time I referenced him it was Bear, Pubic Hair Bear
LILY 42:38
Pubic Hair Bear, so you don't- you haven't seen- you haven't seen the potential hairy area?
JENNY 42:45
No, no, but yeah, I don't know. Maybe he was- ____ just said he's really hairy. Or maybe she talked about his pubic hair.
LILY 42:55
Well, probably
JENNY 42:56
Yeah. And that's where that would have come from. But his his nickname is obviously Bear. Maybe he's just known for being hairy. I don't know.
LILY 43:03
What was the convention back then, in terms of pubic hair? Because people were starting to
JENNY 43:07
Nobody removed it. Nah. You'd do a bikini wax.
LILY 43:13
What about men? Did they like have the convention to, you know, have a bit of a clip or something?
JENNY 43:17
Nup. Nothing.
LILY 43:18
Lord.
JENNY 43:20
Yep nothing.
LILY 43:22
So interesting
JENNY 43:23
It would have been seen as gay. And weird
LILY 43:25
I think every single guy I have ever been with. Like casually, whatever. I've never seen a full bush on a guy. Ever
JENNY 43:35
You see, that's that's so interesting. Because yeah, back then it was just- nah, they didn't do anything. No sculpt- no man-sculpting.
LILY 43:42
I think like, Yeah, I wonder if it's the same for women. But again, I think that convention is kind of what majority will do is they might not have it all off. Though there might be more women who are just Nah, I'm being natural, but every man, Yeah, because it makes their dick look bigger.
JENNY 44:06
Yeah, yeah. And there was no no such thing as Brazilian, but maybe Brazilians existed in certain industries, but as not in the mainstream pop.
LILY 44:18
Well, I do know as yeah, so factual point. Probably not but a reference to Wolf of Wall Street, I can't remember when that's set, but sometime in the 80s, he's talking about how women are now starting to not have pubic hair. But again, it's like New York.
JENNY 44:36
And the late 80s. ... So much less hairier than I expected. Tonight, mum and dad went to Parent Teachers night and all the reports were good, no problems. NB... M is planning to audition for the part of Columbia in the Rocky Horror stage show. Tim Curry is playing Dr. Frank N Furter. Because remember, he was on my list. He was he's the one from the film. So he was on my list of heroes. Remember: 'heroes'. Not spunks but heroes. It would just be like M to get the part. Although it would be tough cause she'll be up against older / experienced professionals
LILY 45:22
Does she get it?
JENNY 45:24
Nup. It's so unlike me to be a teenybopper. I don't know why I'm so attracted to all these people. Adam. John McEnroe. Tim Curry. I think it might be ____'s influence. I don't know. Adam is just so exquisitely beautiful. I'd love to meet him. I think I'll go now. Bye 26th of July 1981. Sunday. It's Sunday night and late. I'm sitting in my bed and I'm mixed up. When I was at the age when people were all teeny bopperish. I didn't care much for rock stars. Movie stars. The Bay City Rollers. Have you heard of them?
LILY 46:06
I think so. But I don't think ever knew what they were.
JENNY 46:09
Yeah. So they were like they were mid mid 70s, early to mid 70s. They were a Scottish group and wore tartan that was their look. Tartan.
LILY 46:19
Oh my god.
JENNY 46:19
I will put a link in the show notes.
LILY 46:21
Yeah, I'm just having a little look see now. But I can't believe you ever thought people- like the standard of beauty has changed. I'm looking at all of them. Like maybe one of them was slightly attractive.
JENNY 46:33
No girls went nuts for them. I didn't I wasn't into them. I didn't like them.
LILY 46:38
Girls love a boy band.
JENNY 46:39
____ was very into them.
LILY 46:41
Sure. Yeah. They're just such average looking people. And not even attractive.
JENNY 46:46
Even actively unattractive!
LILY 46:47
Yeah. It's almost like I don't know, fame used to be based on talent. Whereas now it's like, Are you hot? Great. We'll make you famous.
JENNY 46:57
Yeah, but I don't think fame was based on talent necessarily. It was based on I mean, it was still very much concept based I believe at the first and marketing but then who you could sort of throw together. So they would have been a real group that put themselves together not like the Spice Girls that were, I think put together by you know, the moguls and so it was all- yeah, so the Bay City Rollers it was all crap to me. Mum and I never fought, we always got on well, she never fussed (much) and everything was cool. Now I have found an interest in various people of the show business world, Mum and I are not getting on so well. I think it's because she thinks I'm being stupid. Wasting my time. Maybe she's so vague she hasn't even noticed the tension I have. I even cried tonight because she turned my tape off. Because Liz had to 'get to sleep'. We've never, ever had the problem of loud music. We've never bitterly fought. Not that we are now, it's just that the tension's building. Maybe it's just a 'stage I'm going through'. I'm determined. I'm determined not to make a big deal of my little fancies at school. People will get sick of me. I think my problem is I'm just impatient to meet someone to love and to love me. So I release my emotions on symbols such as Adam Ant. I'm trying so hard not to slip into exaggerated childish talk. Like 'I love him' ... 'he's so sexy', (but I do and he is). I'd be so exposed if anyone read this journal. I'm it and it's me, we are one, although I don't write all my innermost thoughts in it, it's still fairly personal.
LILY 48:40
Interesting. Lots to unpack there. Interesting that your- do you think was a link between you getting more into this kind of music stuff? Or do you think there was just like a you know, a general teen shift? You remember that with Gran at all? What was going on?
JENNY 48:57
No, I don't really remember it. But it was probably more not between me and mum. Between me and Liz, sharing sharing a room, me getting pissed off that I didn't have freedom to listen to my tapes. Mum coming in on Liz's side and reasonably so, saying this girl's in Year Seven she needs to go to sleep. And it's 11.30 turn off your tape or 10 o'clock or whatever else. So that would have been the friction there, not directly between me and mum. She was always really easygoing about music and that sort of thing. So me saying you know loud music and teenage stuff, it woudn't have been that, it was just the sort of simple stuff around the room and sharing space.
LILY 49:42
Yeah. Which is always hard. Yeah. Interesting. And you know that you are quite self aware kind of being like your 'these people are kind of vessels for that'?
JENNY 49:56
Yeah. I'm so hay fevered at the moment. So sniffly.
LILY 50:00
Yeah, hopefully Yeah, when we were on the phone earlier today, you clear your throat in such a Granny-esque way.
JENNY 50:08
That's annoying. I know. I've stopped my milk. So hopefully.
LILY 50:13
Yeah. Anyways, so um, yeah, you're quite aware that these people are kind of, yeah. Vessels or symbols, as you said. And also quite aware or quite anxious it seems, of people getting sick of you.
JENNY 50:28
Yeah, no, that's really it's interesting. Like, I'm surprised at my sort of capability to work out what this is. I guess I am 17, I'm not 14. No. And kind of just in the throes of teenybopperdom or whatever. Yeah, I am older. And I'm more aware. And I'm sort of like, Yeah, his is what this is about. Also conscious that I'm again, yeah, doing something a bit later than other people. So sure, my friends, especially D with the Bay City Rollers. That would have been when she was 12, 13, 14.
LILY 51:04
Yeah, right. Interesting. That's the thing. So like, yeah, being a bit more of a late developer a bit more of a late bloomer. And it's almost like, because I also have been a late developer. And yeah, it's like, it doesn't mean you don't do the stages. It's not like you skip.
JENNY 51:27
Yeah. Okay.
LILY 51:30
But yet, you're just 17 or
JENNY 51:32
28.
LILY 51:34
And you're suddenly having your first, you know, celebrity crush? It still happens, it all happens in the same way. You have the same first relationship, you have the same breakup, like it's all the same. It's just, at what age and
JENNY 51:46
that's *interesting*
LILY 51:48
It is. It's something I've definitely realised and felt.
JENNY 51:51
So if there's any 26-year-old teenyboppers, let us know,
LILY 51:56
if you know, or people yet kind of really feeling like they going through a stage and they saw their friends go through, years before. Or and I wonder what, what it what it is, like, I just I do think we were just naturally and everyone has their own pace for everything in life? You know?
JENNY 1:04:49
Yeah, true. Okay, ready for some bad poetry?
LILY 1:05:27
Oh, yeah. [Laughter] Oh, am I!
JENNY 1:05:29
Here's a poem I wrote on Friday night. It's pretty indicative of how I feel. 'Salad Days' 24th of July 1981. The aching hollow resonates within my empty soul. As I ponder, ponder, ponder, I conclude my life should be complete, but is it? I feel love and warmth and happiness for myself and others. Yet still, there is something missing. Each time I set my aims anew, I prepare for total satisfaction as I plump the pillow soft, only to be shattered again. The multitudinous pieces reassemble as if against my will. I take my position, head held high, to reassert my hope. But will I be whole when I find the evasive piece to the puzzle of love? Or will I hunt another reason for despair? I carry no crippling disfigurements, nor ill health, nor painful shyness. I am not neurotic or paranoid. I am me. Where is my Heathcliff? Come in from the Moors. I want to show you I am me. Forget Cathy. She cannot love you as I can. Let me show you.. Faces in the street, some sensuous, some repelling, some confused, some happy. Others sad. They do not know how to be happy. I am happy [... surprisingly!] But there is always the but. I search for that absent ingredient. I need it quickly. For the cake is rising. If only...
LILY 1:07:08
I will just say that was no more better or worse to me than any poetry because I hate poetry. I think it's all shit. So like, good job. That's quite a cool poem.
JENNY 1:07:20
It's not very good. But thanks saying that.
LILY 1:07:23
No, poetry is good was my point.
JENNY 1:07:26
No there is some really good poetry and I'm not a person who's into poetry. There is some wonderful poetry. But anyway, I appreciate what you're saying.
LILY 1:07:34
I think even when I like read good poetry, it's probably how people feel like when they're at the opera, you know? 'I guess it's cool. And all these people seem to like it. This is apparently famous, but like, what's it doing?' Yeah, very interesting. Good you're expressing your feelings through various means.
JENNY 1:07:57
Yeah, exactly. I am expressing my feelings
LILY 1:08:00
Yeah. And you're being creative whilst doing it. How do you feel reading that? Because actually, we didn't really chat about a bit at the end of the last entry kind of said, how, how embarrassed you would be if anyone ever read this. And it's like, here we are!
JENNY 1:08:14
Yeah, but there's distance. And you know, I think it's, I think I might have actually read this out at one of the salons. I'm not sure but it's a you know, it's just it feels like it's another person. It's not me. I take no ownership.
LILY 1:08:32
[Laughter] You're just fully disassociating, you're like 'Whatever. Who is this girl?'
JENNY 1:08:37
But I mean, you know, it's just me doing my thing. Yeah, I'm not I'm not super embarrassed by it. And I've got personally I like the seventh verse, which is the Heathcliff one. You know, forget Cathy. I'm here. This expresses well, how I feel. Impatient. I keep saying to myself, I should be totally happy. Maybe I am. And I don't know it. I don't know. It's weird. I need a holiday. I can't wait to go to Queensland. We're catching the train up. So we'll have a ball.
LILY 1:09:08
It's so interesting. We're just we're so preoccupied with being happy. And it's like, yeah, that feeling like you should be happy. And it is because you're like, you're there. You're, you're assessing your world and you're like, kind of everything, maybe one piece missing this, you know, boyfriend, like, you know, and so that's probably where that kind of dissatisfaction or kind of unhappiness is coming from. I don't know if I ever feel like- I think we think of happiness is like this constant state that we're in. I don't think that's true. I think we feel happiness in moments. I feel moments where I'm like, I'm really happy. Oh, I'm having a lot of fun or I'm experiencing a lot of joy. To me. Happiness is almost an emotion that we've somehow put into like this concept of an environment we could be in or a state of being we could be in, like what we should. At least for me, what I strive for is contentedness. Peace.
JENNY 1:10:01
Yeah, yeah. Peace.
LILY 1:10:01
And that allows moments of happiness. It's like you have moments of sadness. But I think we often think like, it's a journey to happiness. And once you get there you're able to be just happy,
JENNY 1:10:11
yeah, and that's not true. And that's something that I learned and I think that was me back at this stage. That's how, what I thought Yeah, that's a very simple view of it. But I think also it can be the absence of, it can simply be the absence of misery, and pain and
LILY 1:10:27
which is pretty good
JENNY 1:10:28
in that space. Then you can have those moments of happiness and satisfaction and contentment, which is, which is really, really interesting. Yeah, we can do one more. I mean, I haven't finished this entry anyway. Yeah. I must write down my little diversion of which I devote so much thought to lately. Can you guess what that is?
LILY 1:10:48
I wonder who!
JENNY 1:10:50
Last night, Nim and I went into the city to see Tess by Roman Polanski. Thomas Hardy's Tess of the d'Urbervilles. The photography reflected Polanski's sensitive awareness of beauty and the movie was lovely. When that finished Nim and I rushed out and ran to Swanston Street to see Alec Jarman's Jubilee, in which we had heard Adam Ant made a brief appearance. Nim and I were prepared to be disappointed because we thought he'd only be on for a second. So we went in, it's rated R and sat down. It was a tiny cinema with about 10 people in it. On screen, so we're a bit late. On screen was a punk woman, really butch makeup, asymmetrical spiked hair, the works. And I'll put a photo up of her. Her name was Jordan, that not even an actor just a person- a punk personality. After a weird ballet scene, a meeting with Queen Elizabeth the First, there was a scene in a cafe. And there he was, the most gorgeous little guy sitting in a booth, talking to a main character by the name of Crabs. Delightful. And crabs was played by the same actress that played - she was also in the Rocky Horror Show and I can't, I don't think she was Magenta. Maybe she was. No she wasn't Magenta. I can't remember. He looked much younger than he is now. He seemed about 18 or so. The film was made in 1977. And he was wearing clear cats-eye sort of glasses. He didn't have his proper Ant makeup on but he had little lines at the side of his face. Anyway, he's sitting there with this girl, talking to her. She asks him what he does, and he says he's a musician. She takes off his glasses and she says 'Shit, you're gorgeous'. They keep on talking and he's such a quiet little cutie. The next time he came on, he was at the punks' house lying on his tummy on the bed with Crabs lying / sitting on his back, rubbing his back up and down underneath his T-shirt. He's wearing cute braces to hold up his baggy pants and his tattoo saying pure sex is peeping out from his T-shirt. Anyway, Crabs is getting so excited, trying to turn (Adam) The Kid on, but he's just lying there with his chin cupped in his hands with a bored look on his face not responding at all, watching the TV. This was so good. Cause if he had been responding, all my dreams would have been shattered. Then we see him at an audition singing Plastic Surgery. That's the name of a song. After telling the boss in his cute, quiet voice that he doesn't want money just doesn't want to be ripped off, he laughs and runs around a bit and then does the audition. After he gets signed up he and these two brothers go for a walk during which one of the brothers Angel tells Adam about how he'd grown up in high-rise flats etc. It was a really sad story but Adam kept giggling and snorting and grinning. He looked like a beautiful little boy. He is beautiful. My favourite time we saw him was when all the butch punk women and the two brothers etc. when we're in the flat, and Adam was just watching his own video of the audition on the TV. He was sitting really close to the screen and when he saw himself, he kissed the screen and then licked it. I can tell you it was such a turn on. He is so beautiful looking. In the end he got bashed up by these two cops who later got killed by the punk girls. Anyway, here's some pictures of Adam and I've stuck a bunch in. What can I say? What can one say? Except Good night. J
LILY 1:14:23
Oh my god, it's so funny because it's really like you're saying a lot, you know, he's so little, he's so cute. He's so- it's like it's I don't know the tone in which you're talking like he's not a man, you know? Yes, he's this boyish figure, you know like Peter Panesque or something but yeah, interesting. Oh my god, a real tizz!
JENNY 1:14:46
[Laughter] I know.
LILY 1:14:47
Does it bring up any feelings now. Do you? Can you connect with any of it?
JENNY 1:14:52
No, not really. Not really. I feel that you've blushed. Have you- did that make you feel blushy or something?
LILY 1:15:00
No. I'm sorry, I just from my face, but I've been looking at pictures of him in 1977. Yeah. In all the makeup and he is cute. I see it. I see it.
JENNY 1:15:09
Find him in Jubilee.
LILY 1:15:12
Jubilee ok.
JENNY 1:15:13
Yeah. A cross on his...
LILY 1:15:16
He's kind of got one eye done with makeup. And then two lines coming out like that. Look, he was more attractive than the other heroes or the Bay City Rollers. You know what I mean? In a world of unattractive famous people. He's attractive
JENNY 1:15:36
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. So one eye made up... So this [Jenny shows picture of Crabs on his back]
LILY 1:15:52
Yeah, I'm looking at the same one
JENNY 1:15:53
So perhaps
LILY 1:15:53
Crabs is not that butch she's wearing like a-
JENNY 1:15:55
No, no, no, she wasn't the butch one. If you look up Jordan Jubilee, she was the butch punk. Jordan. Jubilee
LILY 1:16:07
What? I haven't got it... oh no it's coming up with shoes
JENNY 1:16:10
It is coming up with shoes. I will find her
LILY 1:16:13
1977... Now it's coming out with a coin from Jordan.
JENNY 1:16:20
I'll find her and she's
LILY 1:16:21
Oh no! The [inaudible] film about about punk. She's got white hair?
JENNY 1:16:27
Yeah, maybe she was a punk identity at that time. And
LILY 1:16:31
I think I found a picture of them together. Spiky hair. Blonde spiky hair and like reddy makeup?
JENNY 1:16:38
Yes. Yeah.
LILY 1:16:39
On her face.
JENNY 1:16:40
Yeah, that's her. And I think she and he went out for a while, which I was quite confused by because I didn't think she was attractive.
LILY 1:16:49
Did that make you feel like you had-
JENNY 1:16:50
It might have given me a bit of hope? Maybe. Yeah, I'm better than her.
LILY 1:16:55
It's like I was saying the other day with Heath Ledger. And oh, yeah. Michelle Williams. I was like, You know, I reckon... [laughter]
JENNY 1:17:01
You would have had a chance. [Laughter] Yeah. But I've got these punk. I've got at least one punk book, and she's, she's in the book. And the first time that Dee and I read about Jordan, we thought it was a guy. And we would maybe, you know, that was like Adam and Jordan, this, that and the other and we're just thinking Jordan's a guy. And then, when we found out it was a girl, we got really, really jealous. And we had no idea what she looked like or anything like that. And then we managed to find out what she looked like. We're like, she's not that good. And we were like, reassured, you know, it was such a roller coaster.
LILY 1:17:42
It's such a journey for you. Also, now I'm looking at Michelle Williams, and she's quite pretty. So I take it back [laughter]
JENNY 1:17:48
You don't think you could steal Heath from Michelle Williams?
LILY 1:17:52
I think if I met Heath pre fame. Sure. I reckon I could have a chance. But yeah, before he before he realised how hot he was. Anyway, yeah. So funny. It's just like, it's just like a vessel, a stage for all of those really deep emotions. To get so like, upset by this idea of him dating this person or by this or by that? That is so interesting.
JENNY 1:18:28
Yeah. Can I just read the next little bit? Because I think we get more of Jordan.
LILY 1:18:34
Like the next entry? [Beat] [Beat]
JENNY 1:18:36
[Beat] Yeah, or we can leave it if you like
LILY 1:18:40
I reckon leave them. Okay. Next week.
JENNY 1:18:43
There can be too much Adam Ant
LILY 1:18:46
You're like: I don't want to bore people. I'ts now an Adam Ant podcast
JENNY 1:18:51
[Laughter] Yes an Adam Ant podcast. For the next two years
LILY 1:18:57
we just go with the content takes us, like we're not in charge. Dictated by 17 year old Jen.
JENNY 1:19:06
Yeah, I do apologise. Like, I knew that this would be a big a big lot. But and the rate that we get through it is not very fast. It's just gonna be even more elongated.
LILY 1:19:17
[Laughter] It's gonna be five years of us doing this and then we finally get out of it! And it's funny because you're saying you're editing you like all we talk about, is periods, hormones...
JENNY 1:19:26
Periods, fertility and contraception. And now, and now we're talking about Adam Ant
LILY 1:19:34
add him to the mix because we still managed to get quite a bit of you know, sex talk in. Sex and gender talk in. We both got our obsessions. I just want to talk about sex and gender and the bullshit and you just want to talk about Adam Ant. We balance each other out.
JENNY 1:19:52
Would you say that your journals have a kind of an overarching kind of focus that the single focus?
LILY 1:20:00
Yeah probably me. I am the centre of the universe. No, because I think, you know, obviously I started them when I was 21. You know, I don't think I had kind of obsessions and it'd be interesting to look back and see if I've mentioned kind of
JENNY 1:20:18
I'm glad I've got some teen stuff.
LILY 1:20:20
I'm sad I didn't get it earlier
JENNY 1:20:22
before I get into the adult stuff
LILY 1:20:25
earnestness
JENNY 1:20:26
which is also, you know, it's also pretty dynamic, but it's good to get that teen stuff.
LILY 1:20:34
Oh, my God ______'s here. Oh my god. Hi!!
JENNY 1:20:38
is he out the window?
LILY 1:20:39
For me? Why do you have-? He's got flowers!
JENNY 1:20:42
Oh darling, we can say goodbye.
LILY 1:20:45
Yeah. Okay, he's so sweet. Okay,
JENNY 1:20:48
Okay love you love you. Nice to chat
LILY 1:20:50
Yeah nice to chat. Bye! Please hit the subscribe button so you won't miss out on any of our bad content. Don't forget to rate us at least one star and leave your scathing reviews wherever you find your podcast. That way we can bring our bad content to the rest of the world. Thanks for listening. And please don't sue us.
JENNY 1:21:15
Thanks for listening. And please don't sue us.
LILY 1:21:18
Yeah, don't sue us. Please. Rude