YTLiens: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode (RE-RELEASE)

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Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal mini episode of My Mama Told.

Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and.

We finally worked to prove the theories that you pieces of shit have at home. We were talking about another email that I think folks got excited about, a email that came to us very secretively. I would say, like, not a lot of information about the center of this email, but the subject the headline is white aliens. White aliens is where we're at. And this person starts off by saying, what up. My crackers didn't care for that one bit.

Me, You don't call me, Uh he said, So, first off, I'm a member of the white devil raceer we guess, uh.

Being that, I don't think I'm allowed to talk ship about YouTube. But let's be honest, it's not like I can get canceled, so onto the conspiracy. I'm not you.

Gotta respect the white person who owns their power.

Yeah, he really like the Kimbe Mutumbo finger in our face. You know what I mean. He's like, what the fuck YouTube? What he's gonna do about it?

Oh?

Can we have this debate very quickly? Okay. My wife is of the belief we we made a reference to to moon crickets and bust down being silly and also like as a very like derogatory, we're making fun of it. We called a person Freddy's character, we called him a greasy lipped moon cricket.

And I remember that character, you said.

I said it very passionately, great actor, please hire ut uh that said? My wife heard that and was like, I think moon cricket sounds like a beautiful phrase like that. She honestly believes it to be like kind of a compliment to be referred to as a moon girl. And I've been trying to explain that, like, ma'am, I don't think that's true. She's like, but it sounds so pretty. It's a cricket like singing to the moon. That's nice.

No it's a greasy lip. No no no, no, no, no no, no, it's bad.

It's worth noting that she didn't keep the greasy lipt attached to it. She's not, Oh, she's strictly referring to moon cricket. Greasy Lipps was our edition.

Okay, listen, No, you can't, don't. It's gone too far for that. That phrase is dead. You can't. You're not taking it back. It's just it is what it is.

I'll tell you this, and this is a very true thing. She has actually turned her bio on Instagram into into essentially what is the the emoji translation to moon cricket, you know, with hearts all around it. No, it's a moon and then a cricket and a bunch of hearts exploding around it. Because she's like, this is beautiful and I'm gonna keep it.

In a perfect world. Yeah, in a vacuum. I understand. Those are two beautiful words to put together on the street smoke.

Come on, man, you're saying there's too much history there for cricket.

A lot of words, a lot of a lot of a lot of racial effects are pretty.

Nigga, that's a beautiful that sings beautiful.

Other ones that I don't want to get into because for fear I will be canceled sure.

I think I think I guess my question, or rather, what what comes to mind is there also was a first person to be like, I'm gonna make nigga pretty, and I'm sure they were met with similar sort of like uh anti nigga hate.

Do you know what?

I don't think so, I think it's a pretty harsh word in.

General, double con.

But I'm saying that like there was sure, we know, but there was a person who was like, I'm gonna make it ours and I'm gonna be the first to do that, and I'm saying that they were not.

Do you think that?

How do you think it happened? Otherwise?

There's a lot of internalized racism.

Right right right, But I'm saying, Okay, at some point one person went from being a person who was being called a nigga to them being like, I'm a nigga.

Right right right right right right right right right.

And that means cool.

Right.

One person had to make that choice first, and then a title wave of different people responded in good and bad ways. But that there had to have been a pioneer of nigga.

I don't feel like it was just defined as that. I feel like it was much more gradual descent into nigga doom.

Wow, So you don't like giving you don't like giving our ancestors their flowers?

No, I feel like it's a complicated.

No, I don't think it's that complicated. I think Rosa Parks did that bus shit first. And there was a nigga man before any of you, you copycats showed up. There was one dude, I'm wearing this ship. He was like, that's my fucking cape. And people were like, this man might be the craziest motherfucker every crazy. This nigga's crazy. And they were like, oh, no, what have I said?

I like it?

Oh that felt good, I.

Like it all right? Yeah this man.

So I think I think there's an argument to be said that my wife might just be a pioneer of sorts and and we'll all be calling each other beautiful moon crickets in a matter of a decade.

We got shortened though, it's too many sable moon cricket.

Oh yeah, what up?

Then?

See and that kind of works out? It does, and you don't want to just be called cricket And no.

No, no, my brother cricket after this.

See what he does? Just see he's like.

He's like twenty, so I tested it on him.

Do you think that he's aware of moon cricket as a as a phrase yet?

No?

No?

Hell yeah, so yeah, call him a moon cricket. See what he does.

Yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it. In the text.

What's his name, Martin? Like, Martin, you're a moon cricket to me, Man, yeah, I love you. I love you, and I think you're a moon cricket. And he'll be like, damn, that's beautiful day that Yeah, yeah, that feels nice when you say, okay, we got we we simply have to do this email.

Yeah, oh I forgot about it. I forgot about it.

We have this email that that we were sitting on that we won't refuse to finish. But he said, uh, he said, so we can't get canceled, he says, so onto the conspiracy theory. While growing up, I was always told by my very racist family, the white people, that white people were aliens that came and colonized Earth and black people were the original inhabitants. There was also so much more, so much more racist shit about this that

There's a lot going on here.

Yeah.

No, First of all, he tried to unload Elon on us right at the end. That felt wild. I love a good bit. I'm a silly motherfucker first and for most, but you chill the fuck out about making Elon.

If anybody is an alien. It's second of all, that doesn't make any sense because like human, there's still humans. Mmm. Right, Like you're saying that aliens who had the exact same genetic makeup and build but we're just white, came to this planet and that's stupid.

I don't know, Okay, I.

Think this guy is a stupid I think he's a stupid person.

I like to play the game a little bit more than you do. I I'll say this. I think that if in fact we were to make the argument that white people are aliens, then then we could also make the the argument that because so much of our conversations around genetics and and our physical forms and shiit was documented by white people. I'm not gonna say originated by them, because that's not true, but certainly documented in terms of

What other shit again?

I'm not going to get I'm not going to get trapped in this hell circle of.

I'm saying.

I'm saying that's it's crazy to me because like they just came here already out it's like nuts, And why didn't they come here and colonize if they had the if they had the technology to go.

From wherever they were to hear, why did they not implement any of that technology when they got here?

I mean, but I think I think there's an argument to be made that maybe they didn't get here that effectively right that like, oh.

You think it's like a crash landed.

I think the way that like the fucking Pilgrims barely made it here and and couldn't get back, so they had to turn into weird like fuck the king and queen people, you know what I mean, like they they that's how white people could have ended up on this planet, is.

Like you think they like crashed like it was a long arduous journey.

Yeah. I think they showed up in a mayflower ass spaceship.

And then black people took care, yeah.

And Indigenous people and ship and and then eventually they just were like, all right, we got enough people, we we could start changing some ship around here, Okay. And I think if they I don't know that I believe any of this. I just I get high and play the game. Baby.

Isn't it just the people migrated although though you do think like indigenous people even in cold climates are darker skinned.

Right, they in fact are are are tan. But there's a lot of and I think to this this Alien's point, there are indigenous people of all of these lands that have either been pushed out or erased, and then we have been led to believe that this is like white land, when in fact that's like biologically that can't be true.

Damn, damn. That is kind of facts.

And I'm not gonna go down a list of the various lands because that's gonna get us in the most we could get.

In it here.

You know, I don't know, I don't think it's smart to be like those people don't belong there. They It's like WHOA, no, sir, I'm gonna stay where I'm at. But I will say that, yeah, there's there's very few places where we know for sure, like Boom Earth from the ground this is where white people, right. Yeah, even Caucasian is a it doesn't even refer to an area

That is a good point. Where are white people from? I don't damn this ship. I'm coming back around.

All right, talk to me, Talk to me, just like, where are they?

Where are they from? Where did they come from?

There's a great question.

I'm so white. Nobody else is white like that? Why are they so white?

Yeah, the rest of the world made a different choice. What's happening with Joe and blonde hair on an adult seem crazy to me, which we we've done an episode in the past where I know for a fact that blonde hair and I believe it's blue eyes are both recessive traits. It's not even like, uh, their mutations that were born far later down the line and are super rare.

I've always said that people are freaks. You take that, you take that, however, that's up to you, big dog. I've always said that you ever met a blonde A don't it's crazy. You're like, you're just out here voting.

They let you vote. Okay, not in my booth, but I ain't. I couldn't volunteer this year. But but when I'm back.

Wait, he's saying Aaryan people, not Caucasian people. Aryan people are Oh you were Indo Iranian?

Oh okay? So so wait? Oh wait, I'm confused Caucasian with oh okay, yeah, greater caucus reaches is what it refers to, and that would be Russia, Georgia and Azerbaijan.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, So white people Janni.

I don't know and and frankly, I don't feel comfortable calling anybody in Azerbaijani.

Uh.

I don't know enough about what that means to be to be throwing what was he man?

I think.

You're going to jail you pieces shit. You can't call him Azbi?

John wait, so Caucasian of relating to or characteristic of, one of the traditional racial divisions of humankind marked by fair to dark skin, straight to tightly curled hair, and light to very dark eyes, and originally inhabiting Europe, parts of North Africa, Western Asia, and India. So basically just Langston.

Yeah, that doesn't describe.

That describes all people.

It's real. Uh, just a big old mush of of whatever was available.

It makes me nervous that we can't find receipts on where white people started. Yeah, that does seem like gives credibility to this conspiracy.

Theory that that there's no like real origin, So I would assume Greenland or or you know what I mean. It just seems that seems like as white as you could. I never heard, Yeah, that same energy, I would say, I don't they don't. They probably don't talk to each other that often, but I bet if they met up, they're like, oh, you wear blue clogs and I wear I wear red ones. But but we the same.

So that's where white people started. But did people start? The people started in Africa?

We know that, right, and then we know that migration happened. So people started spreading out and pangaeas starts breaking apart, and so the the spread then makes it so that like you are trapped on these pseudo islands of your own making or and then.

People learn to sail, and that's why, like sailing is why Europe advanced so much faster, right, because it's so coastal that you can sail from place to place and then encourage just trade and stuff, whereas the coasts of Africa are like a lot more difficult.

There's not a lot of natural Yeah, I think at a certain point that right, Yeah, being landlocked was was a disadvantage, to the point that, like you, you truly were behind generationally, at least in certain types of competition, right, right, right, But yeah, I don't know. So so they was just people migrated and they got lighter as they went. They just I.

Guess if you could be dark that far north, then why did anybody get white?

Yeah, I think I guess the suggestion would be there are indigenous people who continue to populate with themselves and thus stay darker, whereas like the white people that traveled there, like kept fucking other lighters. Oh yeah, they were, but only for themselves. And maybe that's part of it, is like we just all want to fuck what looks like us, and that's how you make a white person.

Oh, maybe people do. People do tend to mate with people who look like them. Mm hmmm hmm, like even facially. You ever noticed that a lot of people, a lot of couples look alike. Yeah.

One of the more painful moments of my of my life is meeting my my wife's grandmother for the first time and her being like, y'all look alike and then me just having to wrestle with that feeling for the rest of the day.

Oh, that's very It's very common. Most couples look like.

Yeah, but this is this is before we're married. This is just us dating, and that that starts to feel like, oh, no, I have I made a terribly vain choice. Am I just trying to fuck myself? And and that's all? This is kind of thing ultimately, are I think so? And and I made peace with it. Me and my uh and my handsome wife we do just fine, you know.

Oh man, that's a good thing though. That means you're healthy.

Yeah, I'm just a normal guy who wants to look at a lady who looks like me.

You just want to fall asleep staring into your own eyes. And that's There's nothing wrong with it.

But yeah, I do think that it sort of is that right, that we just sort of I had an agent Wants who owns like a farm, explained to me that she actually like has chickens on her farm and that when the chickens hatch, they will naturally separate themselves from like the yellow chickens to like the brown chickens. Like they'll like form little groups and like hang out with each other. And it's like, God, damn, I'm not saying, I'm not saying which wasn't my favorite, but A said that.

Also, but also some of us are adventurers and they'll put it in anything. Mm m you know what I'm saying.

Mm hmmm, hmmm hmmm.

Some of us, some of us ladies.

If we could get real quiet and real serious for a second, some of us ladies.

Even the weird Ship, I think we I think we solve this.

Yeah, I think that this feels very possible, certainly, and I'm committed to it. And I thank you white person for white alien for thank you white devil for your your sacrifice and and uh and we're grateful for you sending this and we wish you the best. We hope that that you are able to take advantage of your alien ship, your alien hood as it were.

They're doing fun.

Yeah, gotta figure out. Yeah, but you know, I don't want you guys to lose anything. You're up against a big wakin.

I think they're losing ground right now. I think I think the West is falling in to that. Africa is a new frontier. But that's for a new week. That's a difference. That's a different episode by Africa.

Bory. Do you want to tell the people where they can find you and what cool should you have going on?

You can find me a cool Guy Jokes eighty seven on Instagram.

And as always you can you can follow me at Langston Herman and go subscribe to our YouTube hang out bullshit whatever that is. And uh, all right, that's it. Bye, bitch.

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