Yabba Dabba Voodoo (with Kevin Iso)

I see a ghost. We'll turn the TV up, all right, But I know it's your TV because they wouldn't hang around if you turned it up. Chips, racists, money stuff, I can't tell me. Yep, yep, there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we died deep deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we finally worked to prove that shemar More, even shemar More's poops are light skinned. That's right, they come out

the color of Michael Eally. That man don't do nothing that ain't light skinned, and his poops are no different. I am your host length than Kerman as always, and you know I'm coming in hot. I always say am sometimes I say I'm coming in hot. But and then I come in with the same energy I come with in every week, and so I think I'm just a hot motherfucker. That's what I do. I come in hot.

And my guest today, I would argue he's never come in hot, never once, says he walked into a room and it felt like God, damn, this nigga's energy is exploding. It's booming through the atmosphere of the space we've entered. But man, is he hilarious. I love him. He's a dear friend. You know him from Comedy Central, but more importantly, you know him from his brand new show on Showtime every Sunday called Flatbush Misdemeanors. I love it. It's a hilarious show. He is one of the creators, one of

the stars. So funny. Give it up for my guest, Mr Kevin, I thank you, thank you for reading that like you wouldn't pay to say it. Yeah, you know you gotta put some passion into it. You've You've offered me hundreds to thousands of dollars to say that nicely, but I said, no, I'll do it on my own. I don't know how you know what color Shamar Morris poops are either. That was a camera in his house. Look, I do the research. You gotta do the you gotta do the hard work. Some of us are willing to

really dig in. I mean, that's why I don't have a podcast. You're too lazy to study Shamar Morris poops. And that's why you don't have a podcast. I'm excited that you're here because you came to me with a conspiracy theory that I had never heard of before in my life. Even the entire sort of premise around it was super foreign to me. And I know you specifically sent a a d not a detail, but a part

of this larger conspiracy. So I'm gonna frame this around the larger thing, which is my mama told me Nigerian jazz last juju is real. Yeah, okay, so yeah, I just jumped into the story, right, Yeah, tell me, but just tell me what you know. Well, I mean, this is this is what I this is what I know to be true. I mean, it's always kind of like an underlying thing and I don't even think it's just like like a Nigerian thing, but it's also you know, West Indian people also kind of deal with it, and

New Orleans people definitely voodo, you know, so jazz. And when I went to Nigeria for the first time in I was going to the marketplace, this place called Yea Bob Market, and my cousin was telling me like, Yo, if you go out there like these these dudes that have on gold rings and if they touch you, whatever is in your pocket go in their pocket. And at first I was like, well what. Two thoughts went through my head. I was like, niggas ain't gonna touch me,

like what the fun? And then the second thought was like that is just gonna get some socks, Like it's not nothing that you not to get my backup underwear because that's all I got in my body. Yeah, but it was, um, it was like to go out there. At first, I was kind of like yeah, yeah, whatever whatever. But then once I got kind of got out there and I've seen it, I was like, Yo, this ship definitely it's real. And then my auntie told me like it actually happened to my cousin like in a different

way because there's so many different forms of it. Yeah, and it happens to him like in a different way where he like kind of got brainwashed and then giving away all my auntie money away that this dude. And then like he even came back to the house and was like asking my auntie, like, yo, I need more money to give to him. He said, if I give him more money, he's gonna get us on the island or whatever. She was like whoa, and he got he lost his phone. He tried to go back and meet

up with the dude again. But mind you, he like fourteen, Um, I mean dumb, He's dumb. But at the same time too, it was kind of like they grow up quick out there. Like my ten year old my ten year old cousin like when I was when I was first out there, she uh, we went to we went to the marketplace, right. She was trying to bust some pound of yam. And then the lady was like it's like say like six and my cousin like, nah, six, hund I'll give you four, I said. She ten years old, bro, I'm like four okay,

four fifty And then she's like a fine. And then I'm looking at her, I'm like, yeah, like it's called doing business. I'm like, yeah, Yo, that's crazy. She's demonstrating a skill that that the average ten year old couldn't even begin to try to do in America. Don't even have how you bargaining with a woman that's like five times your age? Right? I want that girl. I want your cousin helping me buy a Nissan Maxima, you know

what I mean. Like, let's let's get her in a dealership and really like get some negotiations that are better than yams. I need her doing real work, bro, exactly. I'm looking at her like you would be a dangerous politician around all right. Wait, so let's let's rewind this back a little bit because I think you're cruising through some stuff that that's gonna need some clarification. Some of my listeners are whiteyes, so some of this is gonna

require some songs. Some listen, Papa's bills are being paid by the white devil, and and that's something I'll rush so with this evening. But more importantly, as we are right now, I'm really interested number one in this idea of these people with the gold rings and like them them sort of being able to transfer your belongings from your pockets into theirs. They're not looking at this when they say that this sort of magic is happening. This

isn't robbery to them. They're not saying this is like, oh, you just got pickpocketed by these gold ring dudes. But you mean you mean the people in the community aren't like they just picked your pocket. Theyeah, exactly. I you know what, I don't think that they think it's that at all, just because it's like it's such a it's such a level, like like the history behind all of that, all the all the they call it jazz and that

was the first time I heard it. But you know, being where we're from, I'm like voodoo, but the history behind voodoo is so like dark magic, like Christian like religious people won't say voodoo or anything. They'll say that's the devil or that's you know, having a hell or anything like that, but it's still the same thing. Ultimately, It's just like there's a whole another underwear. It's like

the deep web, you know what I mean, spirituality. It's like, oh, you got with you They're like yeah, It's like if you really want to buy some baby fingers. We know where you can do it, but exactly exactly, so I think they think it's real and I'm not gonna lie, like I really do believe it. Like at first, I ain't gonna lie. I believe it, bro Like at first I was like, it's kind of nah, but it's kind of like, how could it not be real? Well, say more,

because I can tell you how it could not be real. Uh. I know a lot of people gold rings that don't demonstrate any ability. Well, okay, alright, so the gold the gold ring thing, maybe that's not real, but at the same time, maybe it is. I love that as an argument of being like all right, all right, okay, okay, okay, let's be serious. Maybe it's not real, but have you

considered maybe it is? But really though, bro, like, it's something that like I can't tell you what life is like in another country without really kind of being there, Like nobody can tell me, like what what New York is like if they never really been in New York, So like somebody to tell me like over there, like yo, they do this ship out here like really, like you might come in thinking like no, no, they don't, and

then now you don't got you know what I'm saying. Now, you now you're a believer, and the only way you're gonna believe is if somebody rob your ass. But I'm not gonna wait till somebody rob me. I'm gonna believe it before, right. So So I like that because because by that suggestion, it's not even so much that that you're like sitting and you're believing as much in the magic of it all, but you're believing in their belief

in at least correlation. So like, yo, I don't know if they can Harry Potter some ship from his pocket to my pocket, but I do know that they believe that. Therefore I'm gonna stay away from the people with the gold rings. Absolutely absolutely, And because then you got to also think about like, all right, is that real gold on that right? But there's just a cool magnet that he's like pulling my ship into his. Yeah, I get that.

I do think. I do think to that point that is the issue with the way that we often deny people's faith and and experiences and ship, right, is that like, at the end of the day, whether I believe in what you believe in or not, there's a reason you have faith in this thing, and it isn't complete nonsense. It may sound silly and it may be sort of like hyperbolic and its reasoning, but it's not so illogical that you're just like a fucking idiot. There's probably some

route to it. And with that, maybe I would do good to listen to at least part of that and then ignore the goofy parts. You know what it's like. It's like when you see a bunch of people running away from something, yes, and it's like, are you gonna be that idiot that just keeps like, well, I don't know what they're running from, so I'm gonna find out myself, Like there could be bigger threats in the distance. Maybe we should just stay here and see what happens. Idiot

you've been and find out later. I gotta see for myself. I don't I don't ever have to see. I don't know what's over there, but people running. I'm running too. I remember as a kid, and we would go to the Taste of Chicago every year just to you know, go like do herrat ship with our friends whatever. And

every year, inevitably is Chicago. People start shooting at the Taste, and every year, that would happen where like a crowd would run and there was always inevitably somebody with us that we would have to be like, bro, let's go. We're not We're not sticking around to figure this one out. Run motherfucker. Meet you at the McDonald's and then we'll regroup and and figure it out. You know what I mean, that's your fault for hanging around white people. Well, I

grew up in the suburbs. I had what I had as as a core group of friends. They were mostly black, but we had to sprinkle some whites in the air. They were kind. Let me ask you, do you do you believe in any sort of voodoo rituals? I'll say this, I believe in the power of accepting things into your

spirit and life. Do you know what I mean? So, like, I don't necessarily know that I've ever had a ghostly experience, but I do believe that Like if I were to funk around with the Uiji board or funk around with some juju or voodoo or whatever you want to call it, then I am welcoming something into my spirit, then I'm not gonna be able to just walk away from later. Now, how do you justify that with when you do mushrooms and you see ship that ain't really there. Mm hmm.

That's a good question. I think that it's not that dissimilar. Maybe that like, now I did the drugs, so I welcomed some ship into my brain that you know what I'm saying, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I see it. Yeah, And so you're saying this trip to Nigeria in some ways was sort of mushrooms being introduced and allowing you to see something that that other people may not be able to see. Absolutely absolutely, it's all like I'm gonna sound like um finnah, sound like it's amative, like he's just

trying to take your money. But it's all spiritual. Brother. By this water, it's good water. This is holy water. Did though it is, it's a spiritual thing. I remember when we shot our Half Hours, we were in New Orleans and apparently the hotel that we stayed in was haunted. That's what all the white women that also shot Half Hours that year kept telling me was that this is

a haunted hotel. And they each had had experiences where they either saw a little girl running down the hallway that wasn't there, or like another little girl that was sitting at the edge of the bed. Like there were like three different women, all of whom told me that they had like these ghostly experiences. And then when you pry further, you find out that at some point in their lives they had interacted with like ghostly behavior and so yeah, y'all are the ones seeing it. Meanwhile, I'm

sucking in a New Orleans hotel. It's wait, wait, wait, because I stayed in a haunted hotel before two and the same same, same experience, actually in another country I forget where, but in another country where I was like this feel like what did those be at? You know, when you when you in fucking Ireland or wherever you I don't know where I was. I think it was in Germany or some ship. But when you stay in like the woods in Germany, nigger, it feels like, oh,

now this is so did you have? Ain'ty like you know, you're getting the hotel room and you and I was quiet by yourself. Let's set the let's set the mood by yourself. Now, well, let's be clear, it's not that quiet. Say yes to the dress is probably playing in the background. At this point in my life, but I get your point. It's it's it's not as noisy as it should have been exactly. But you play say yes to the dress

because you didn't want to see the ghosts. I'm terribly afraid of the quiet, and I agree that that is why on That's my point is like you call somebody now, now you're like you are getting goose bumps and you're like, oh, ship, let me let me get some human interaction to something. I ain't gonna lie. I'd be having thoughts because you know you watched the shot it right, Yes, of course, so I'll be having though It's like like it's like the shining black man. I'll suck them little kids up.

That's where that's where my brain go. Man, what's up? What's up? What's up? And I'm really scared, but like you know, yeah, but y'all are still two little girls holding hands in the hallway. I'll kick the ship out of you, exactly because when it comes down to it, they come to your face and you know, you, sweet, you just look like a crazy I told you he did, right. Somebody else comes outing hallway and it's just you alone

fighting to visible children. Yeah, now you're up. I told you should have put them off for Okay, let me ask you this, because I do think I really love what you're saying about going to this foreign place and then experiencing something that is true to them on a daily basis, and then being able to walk back to quote unquote home with this new information. How many of the people, because you're your family's Nigerian, they're they're living in Houston, how many of the people back home still

maintain these theories, these things that that came from Nigeria. Oh, back home, back home in Nigeria, back home in Houston, back home in Houston. How many people in here on American soil are like yo, Well, my my people grew up in Nigeria, so my dad, my mom, they moved out here when they was. My dad was nineteen years old when he came out here, and he kind of constantly goes back and forth, but most of his life was in Nigeria. So they definitely believe in it. I

can see it. Like my mom's sister is as as a pastor and her her husband was a pastor, her son is a pastor, and they I can see it. I don't. I've never actually had a real conversation with them about it, and it would be interesting to have one.

But I can see, like their spirituality, it definitely comes from a place where it's like if I talk to them about that, they're like, they're gonna they're gonna, like again, like I said, they're gonna phrase it in a way that's not They might not use the word voodoo or jazz or juju, but they'll say, you know, there's bad spirits and there's good spirits, battle between the spiritual world and the physical world always every day you wake up.

They're gonna say it like that, but they're not gonna they might not say like, yeah, it's a nigga with a fire and a hat, like like like the man from the All right, But yeah, man, yeah, I think

some of that and that's really interesting. I think some of that just sounds like a like a language transfer, right that, like you come to America, you start speaking a different type of language, you start speaking differently with the people around you, And so juju is a word that on average the American person would be like the

funk out of here, what are you talking about? And so you remove like the trigger words you say like a still believe in what I believe in, but I'll take out all the things that are gonna make you react in some crazy way and at least allow you to understand me on like a surface level. Yeah, absolutely, because now now you get now you get that white dollar. All right, They they they even't gotten people because you're like you I feel juju. Yeah, hell, that sounds like

a candy alright. I think we've had enough of your antics tonight. You started saying words like spiritual warfare and it's a battle between the you know, the heaven in hell now people, because that's um um C. S. Lewis whole thing, his books, like with the Great Divorce and everything. It was like, you know, that's this whole thing. And yeah, you started talking like that. You could be a Trump supporter. You're you're part of the team. You're part of the team.

Now you whole it's a whole thing, man. So you know, definitely, But I really do think you know, it dates back to like slavery, like slaves was into all of that stuff. So I don't think it's going away. It's just taking like definitely, like you said, different names, different forms all that. Yeah, And I do think that that's sort of. I think it's a corny thing that sort of happens as we move along in like generations and and sort of grow

and blah blah blah blah blah. I think we we reached this point where we start to just want to make fun of the generations that came before us, Like, look at these stupid motherfuckers for doing a thing that they believed in back then. We're so advanced, we're much smarter than that now. And it's like, I don't know that we are. I actually don't think we're advancing at the rate that we think we are. We just are rearticulating our advancements in a in a way that makes

us feels it's three it's three planes. Now, it's the spiritual realm, it's the physical realm, and it's the digital realm. Oh you know what I'm saying. Listen, listen, brom going somewhere. Hold on to do your little minute, because it sound like you're about to talk that talk. You're trying to talk some talk. Now, really, let's let's go. Let's I'm gonna give you the music. You talk, your talk go crazy. I gotta talk over the music. Yeah, Okay, So well,

now you're ruining. It's the it's the spiritual realm, it's the physical realm, and it's the digital realm inside of the like I feel like I'm doing a ted talk that's going nowhere. But inside of the like you know the two, you know the too, you know the too, the physical and the spiritual. But inside of the digital. Now it's like this place where you can actually fake what's in the physical. You can't never fake what's in the spiritual at all. Like that ship is what it

is and it's the reality of it. And in the physical, if you want to actually accept what it is in the spiritual, you can, But you can also play yourself and try to like whatever whatever now you're adding. Now you're not really telling yourself the truth. You're not being honest with yourself and the digit. You're faking it to the rest of the world, you know what I'm saying. So like everybody else, you're like, oh, look I'm out

here and saloom, I'm out here doing this. I'm out here that this is that in the third and it could be in the reverse too. You could also be looking like a bump online and really be having bread. You know what, I'm saying because nigga, I don't listen. That's my the nerd on the internet. But if you come look at a niggle for real, I'm gonna be honest. Nobody's gonna give you pussy because of this podcast, so you can. You're gonna let that little dream go. That

was beautiful and listen. I've never seen someone failed talk that talk worse that you. You. Truly, you did not nail it in any kind of way. Normally I always punctuated with a cool drop afterwards to make everybody feel good that talk. But I will say this, your ideas of of the three planes are are one that I like a lot at was that's good ship, good ideas, bad performance eight out of ten. I'd say, welcome to my welcome to my stand up, my stage performance, and

good ideas, awful awful execution. I swear to God if he ever makes eye contact with the audience. Okay, I'm gonna ask you one more question that we're going to take a break. In terms of the juju and the jazz ing and all of these other things, do you think that it has the potential to grow outside of the space that it already lives in Do you think that this is something that could eventually make its way to America to other places outside of West Africa and

you know where it lives right now? I think I think in a way it has in a form. I don't think that like you know, it's just like basic or you know, like like it's just like just so rooted and like literally you go to the marketplace somebody. But in a way, like you know, scamming is so big. Everybody the p P pee loans that everybody was taken out and everybody, everybody trying to scam. Jeff Bezo's wife, she just gave out another how many billion everybody got?

Now everybody aren't broke, you know what I'm saying, So like so like so like in a way, absolutely, it's already here. But it's just even to say like Peter pop Off with all the you know, when he was selling all the miracle water, the miracle waterin the rags. You know, you wipe this rag, you be cancer free by this rag, wipe it on your head. So absolutely, you know, it's just it's just like everything else, it's americanized,

it's westernized now here, but it's our version of it. Yeah, yeah, that to your point, there isn't that much of a difference between this dude selling miracle water and these other people who are basically saying like, you can cleanse yourself with these objects or waters or whatever the funk it is. And the only difference is that America trusted more from a white dude in a suit than they do from some Nigerian person who like, may also have a suit on,

but it ain't as suit we recognize. So we like, get the funk out of here with that ship, and soon we recognize a ship. Now that's funny, that's funny as fun But just to say too, because I don't I don't, I do think that there's also a good juju, good voodoo, good jazz, and good version and there's a bad version, just to say, like that's what I believe, No, I think, And I think that's important also for everybody to understand, is that it the negative connotation is truly

just the way that you use these things. It is not to say that these things themselves are inherently bad. Eloquently put thanks man, That's why I'm in charge of the podcast. Anyway, We're gonna take a break and We'll be back with Mark, Kevin Eislough and more, my mama told me, And we are back. Do you have your passport? Did you get your shots? Girl? Would you like to come back with rob to a bandit? I'm yep, We're back here with more Kevin. I saw more. My mama

told me. We're still talking about jazz and and juju and all the different iterations of of voodoo that existed before voodoo that's sort of birth voodoo in America, and the things that Kevin believes. Is it just the gold rings that you're you're sort of sold on or is it all of it? Like literally anything they tell you, You're like, yep, I'm I'm I'm with it. Whoa some of it as wits and some of it is like, Okay, I don't know anything about that, so I'm gonna believe it.

M hm. But I feel like naturally, and I don't want to sound like I'm a gullible human being, I'm not. But naturally, I'm actually extremely skeptical of ship. So when they told me, like my my auntie was telling me the other day, she said, like that, it usually starts in the form of a question, like they'll ask like where are you going? Or do you want to make

more money or whatever. But whenever I'm traveling and somebody talked to me like that, I'm already like, no, I know I'm going, even if I don't know where I'm going, just because like I'm used to all of that. I don't live in the Bronx, I don't live in Brooklyn. I don't live in a lot of places, and that and being in Nigeria in itself, like when you get off the airport, like do start grabbing you? Like like

I've never grabbed a girl. I don't even think. I don't even I don't even think people do this anymore, to be honest, because you know how tom fly and you don't even really realize, like it's a different era, but they're like holding onto something that like really happened ten years ago, but you acting like it happy yesterday. But you know how, Like like when I was in college, like dudes would be like outside the club. I'm sure

they still do this ship, but they do it. They'll be outside the club and they'll be like grabbing girls like like you don't know her nothing from nowhere, but you'd be outside and it's not parking lot pimp and parking lot pimping different. It's like parking lot pimping. You you're in front of the car, you playing your music, She's like, oh you gotta Porsche. Yeah. Parking lot pimping is about the she catched the vibe and then you can move it from there. This is about literally trying

to really snatch a woman from her path. You don't got no car, you're just grabbing girls. Like, hey, you're trying to take a walk, but bit while you walk it it's always your man that would never let you walk nowhere, Like really, niggert, that's the line that you yeah, no, it's it's I definitely yes. I remember that era of like of culture right that that was, like it reminds me so much of like a cameraon era of like

a black man, you know what I mean. Cameron in his heyday was a nigga who would grab your hand as you're leaving the club. Absolutely, but Cameron got money. A lot of these niggas grabbing they just they just grabbing because this is this is all they got to hold onto, right, So they wasn't even in the club the whole night, and he outside grabbing your hand. But so that's but that's how they was. That's how they was grabbing me in Nigeria, grabbing me by my hand

and ship. So like that element of it, I was just like, damn, like this is like really aggressive. So that part of it, like I'm already blocking off that anything that I don't know if they like yo frog legs and all of that ship. Once you start throwing in words and animals that I'm not like used to seeing on a daily basis, I believe it. It's like as soon as you're like, yeah, it's a you know, reindeer antlers or shark fin and all that ship, I'm like, oh,

that's a real thing. Okay. So I don't know what raindeer do, but if you put them, like if somebody told you, like Langston, like if you get a monkey tail and a rabbit ear and you put it in a pot, bro, it'll like it'll make your hair grow, like, it'll feel it, it'll fill out your beard. Right, somebody tell me that, I'd be like, Okay, I believe it because I'm never gonna do it. Right, I'm never going to collect these three items and mix them. Even if I did get a monkey tail, which I don't plan

to get anytime soon. That's gonna be my third phase of my life. But when I get a monkey tail, I don't see myself then grinding it up into monkey tail powder and then mixing it with some rabbit foot and being like I and now I'm ready to fill in my beard. It's like, no, I'm just gonna have a rabbit tail and I'll put it in the case and be like y'all trying to see a rabbit tail are a monkey ass? I got both. Now I'm ready to fill in my beard. Some people would say that's

also how COVID started. I'm not gonna say that, but I just some people would say that that's how COVID. It was grinding up monkey too mixed with rabbit Now we all try. It was trying to get a full beard. It was a man and wanted to full beard. Now I gotta stay inside for nine months, this crazy, this thing wanted alright. Well, now we're canceled, and this was a great episode. I want to jump into some of

this research. I did a fair amount of research on the subject, and and let's just start simply, and a lot of this you've already covered juju jazz ing as it relates to the world of West Africa seems to specifically refer to the idea of infusing magic in to ambulets or trinkets or even a person right in order to enact your wishes. And those wishes, like you said, can be positive or they can be negative. They don't

have to necessarily correlate with good or bad. And West Africa also sort of tends to use language that implies black magic or omens or curses. Voodoo is the thing that we know in America and attempts to protect oneself from the sinister unseen world, right, and that sort of goes back to what you were saying about like your parents sort of using the idea of like the devil at work and like the sinister things that are in

sort of like play. It's all protection and or activation against things that you don't care for in the world. Absolutely absolutely, So you know how there's like Greek mythology and Greek gods and then Susan and Chrono send all of them, guys. There's also like African mythology, so there's Shoe, there's whoever Beyonce be talking about on her songs to get her name. But it's a water like the people that know they're gonna listen to this thing, like you talk about that, but I don't know, I don't I

don't know off top of my head. Yeah, you know, my wife, My wife is gonna be high. I gotta pay attention sometimes. So all of that stuff actually it plays into you know what you're what you're talking about?

Where is like even though I personally believe that a lot of the Greek mythology derived from the African mythology, and then a lot of the African mythology, it's just like, of course, like every like again everything else and become a part of gaspora, and the ship spread and information get lost, and it's like that whisper game, like you say this to that person, you come back and it's a whole different name, you know, so s you turned

into right whoever? To your point, it's it's cultural telephone, and so it becomes like us coming up with phrases spot cultural telephone. Yeah, listen, I love how impressed you are with me. Just the repeating bad things you're saying to me in different words. It's it's truly, it's I've never felt more confident. I'm alive, motherfucker. This is great.

I do like the idea though, that that in some ways we are all sort of like circulating the same premises and then adding our little like spin to it much in the way that like everybody's just making food with rice, but then you just add your own way of you know, y'all you make a different race than I make rice, and then we all have different race. But it's rice all the same, absolutely as long as the rice isn't whitewashed. M hmm, good. Yeah, that we'll

say that it's bad. It's bad, it's oh my god, I just I just had a whole I don't even want to say this on the podcast, and I might say it because they're not gonna listen to this. So I went to my no just speaking on bad rice. Now, I don't know I'm going off topic, but I went to my man's place and he just got married, and uh and his wife made some rice, and god damn if I didn't know she was white before I knew she was white. When that race came out, Jesus Christ,

it was awful, like but it was bad. It was bad. It was bad blind and you were like, bro, man, I bet your wife is beautiful. I don't know race, but I bet she's a gorgeous woman. And then you tasted and you're like, oh, you don't marry the devil, You're married a cursed So this is this is a fucking white woman because you know how rice. Okay, so you're eating rice, so you know how rice like you can get you can make rice where you can take

each rice. I don't know the word each grain. But then you also got that rice where the ship just together, it's a whole. It's like nachos. You're like, damn, I can't get the ship apart for nothing. So that ship was like that, and I'm just like I had to eat it, bro, bro, bro, like that ship was. I had to take a sip after each bite. I was like, yeah, some good rice the girl. So you say, y'all go be together forever. Oh that's cool, that's cool. That ship

was awful. Now I'm happy that you're married, and I think many blessings untold I wanted. Okay, this is one of the things that surprised me in the research, and I think this is important. I didn't realize how much of this isn't just something sort of locked in the like cultural outskirts of like the African world, right, Like this isn't some ship where like only people in certain areas believe it, or like outside of the big cities, apparently it's a pretty well sort of like received almost

uh bleeds into public life. Like I write an article about this state governor who refused to move into his official home because magical objects had been left behind by another governor who sought help by this elderly juju man to rid state, to rid his state of like crop eating insects. He was so afraid of the crop eating insects that he hired a juju man to help get

rid of them. And then subsequently the dude who replaced him was like, nah, he left some of his ship behind and I can't be walking into his space, which is now you know, covered in in potentially bad omens, bad juju. Yeah, them niggas is crazy, bro, Like yeah, I always think about it. I think about it like like the Avatar, Like you know when they when they're choosing then Avatar, No, no, no, no, no, it's not

the Avatar. It's actually the Dalai Lama right when the Dali Lama and then they give them like certain objects and they say like do this and do that. I don't know the exactly, do you know. I don't know.

I could be basing this off of the film, so I could be very bad, But I think that it's it's they lay out a bunch of objects and then the person is meant to choose, and in choosing, they're able to identify who is in fact the chosen person because of the decision that they make right like like, but they'll do it with babies, like so it's like a baby that's just like and then they're like, oh, this baby is chosen. It's an awesome baby. Did it's

a dope at baby the keychain? Yeah? Baby. I think of it like that where it's like those guys believe in it. That's that in the third Yes, But I also think that, like, you know, I'm not gonna make my decisions based off a baby or another man personally, Like I'm just not gonna do it. So if a baby sit there and pick the key chain, I'm not gonna come into office and be like, oh, the key chain is the key people's hearts. Yeah, I think more importantly,

babies are just babies, do you know what I mean that? Like, at the end of the day, babies aren't profits. They're just humans with a soft spot in their head. And so like I can't to your point, I can't spend my life at the whim of what a child might pick up. I've seen babies try to suck a man's titty because they thought it also gave milk, Like there is no other option. There's no chance that I presume that the baby is a smart person in it in that way, yes, But that's that's how I think that.

The like he went into office and he said, oh, he did something here, So I'm not gonna be like that's how that's how I think about. That's like Biden assuming that Trump was smart, you know what I'm saying, Like it's a little but even or even Trump like not even to take sides, like even Trump assuming that Obama was smart. Like it's like, oh, now I'm in the White House and he did all this stuff with

this dog. Now we got to clean it out. It's just like that now you granted him power in my in my mind, because I do think like you were saying, like it's it's it's particular to each individual. Like so, yeah, a lot of them dooses. And you know they band Twitter in Nigeria, Like it's crazy, right, they just don't even want spreading around anymore than they probably already has. Yeah, how you, how you and a whole social media platforms. They're probably healthier for it. I'll be honest. I don't

think it's making us good people. So yeah, Bannitt, they're

doing the right thing. One of the things you sent me, uh, when we first started talking about this original idea was and it had a lot of interesting stuff, and specifically the articles talked about like these kids who The way that the the author found out about this whole thing was these kids he grew up with, who rumor who who had claimed to have had this this experience where a preschool teacher gave them candy to take home, and then they put the candy in their pockets, and instead

of eating the candy when they were told to eat the candy, they left the candy in their pockets to say for later, and by the time they were turned to get the candy out of their pockets, the candy had turned into human fingers. And this was meant to be. I think a lesson on like gratitude and like doing

the right thing when you're told than following instructions. And so you a boy, a child, reach into your pockets a lot of human finger when you was trying to get a junior mint, and suddenly you're scarred for life because of that. But then also, I guess you've learned a lesson. And so I wonder how much of this do you just see as allegory, as like a chance to learn from the experiences you've had. I think that a lot of it is actually allegory. I mean putting

it like that. Bro. It's like like again like you know, to bring back C. S. Lewis, it's like all of that. It's I think the Bible is a lot of alcory. Yes, to be honest. You know, so things that where you say like when they said okay, and and in Africa they've done it, and and in the Middle East they do it to where it's like when you're stealing, they'll cut off your hand you're stealing so you don't steal no more, which is it's fair. It makes sense if

you're living by that logic. Yes, like it's like, okay, then this is what what you do. But at the same time too, it's also like a beating would have withold would suffice, like like you didn't have to take his whole hand for the rest of his life, like you could have just like told him that was wrong. He gave him a stern talking to. He might have also learned a lesson. I don't know, as I ain't gotta be a left handed hooper for the rest just

crossing over from one hand to the same hand. Everybody think it's a deformity that he's like, no, and I just really wanted some honey buns, and uh that was upset. They didn't like absolutely. So yeah, I think that a lot of that stuff. It's meant to be a message, you know, that you take and you understand and then

you interpret into your own. My man was telling me about he was reading something, but he was telling me, you know, that whole story of like Abraham sacrificing his children is Abraham I don't know, I don't read Abraham is asked by God to murder his son Isaac. There you go. So he was telling me that whole thing is like, say, you're an alcoholic and Isaac is vodka and God is asking you to get rid of vodka. And you're like, I don't want to get rid of God. You know I love Come on God, and God like,

get rid of vodka. And then you take vodka to the altar and you're ready to sacrifice vodka, and then got like, you can have vodka. Just making sure that this is a horrible message, like us, a horrible analogy, and the parents at home are not going to care for you equating their children to a poison that we drink to stop feeling things. That's that's it's a it's a horrible analogy. But if you understand what I'm trying to say, you get it. You know what I'm saying.

It's another allegory. Actually, so I do. I'm really glad that you made the connection to Christianity because I started reading articles about and you know, in terms of the way white people write about these things that often has like a negative connotation right there, not writing about in in any light that that promotes positivity. But I read

this BBC article. It basically connects juju to human trafficking, and it takes a few big steps here, but they claim that these practices are more dangerous than physical chains. And in the article, it talks about this twenty four year old Nigerian woman who basically put these two other girls through a series of like ritualistic Juju ceremonies in order to make them so afraid of leaving that they

stayed under her control. She made them drink dirty water, she made them eat snake and snails, and she even shaved their heads, which made these women not want to leave and allowed her to hold her hold them captive and subsequently sell them into sex slavery. Right, And so the article spends the entire time being like, this is Juju's fault, this is awesome juju ship, and we gotta be careful about Juju. And a part of me kept thinking, I don't know, man, that that sounds like the same

thing the Bible does. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, Na, na, no, you went, you went, You went in on it, Like it's definitely it's definitely a way to control Yeah, it's a way to control people. It's the same thing. It's the same thing Fox News does. It's the same thing that CNN does. It's a way to like get people underneath whatever umbrella of knowledge that you're trying to create for them to understand. And then once they get that, then it's like, Okay, we've gotten these people inside of

our circle. Now they're behind us, now they're not. Now we've created an army or whatever it is that we're trying to push. I don't know what it is that they're trying to push. Apparently in this story, this guy's trying to make bread, but he sex trafficking whatever. But yeah, yeah, girl, yeah, yeah,

the same thing. It's like, you're trying to get people behind you for whatever it is that you're It's the same ship with all these fucking colts, the scientology ship, the ship that I forget, the last Code thing that they put on Netflix that everybody was watching, Next Joint, the Nextium Joint. Yeah, yeah, it's the same ship. Like you could really use anything, bro, you see people using comedy to control people, Like people be really warped into this ship where I'll just be like, bro, if I'm

not funny, I'm not funny. Like it's at the end of the day, I'm gonna move on to the next thing, and I'm gonna figure out a way to make this ship happen. But you see people really like creating coats, like doing comedy classes and all of this ship, and it's like, who then need to class the last what?

What are you? What are we doing right now? So all of that, Like like when I said it's good and bad earlier about the voodoo ship, it's like it's it's we're talking about voodoo, but we're really talking about everything, like it's good and bad business. It's good and bad, like I didn't got into this this hospital and it's like this medical field and it's good and bad. Like, oh ship, if I go this way, I'll be able to make mad money, but then I'm also exploiting people.

And also all this fucking legal plastic surgery that I'm doing that's legal, but it ain't legal like all of that ship. So I hear what you're saying with that, with that, I mean, with that article. But again, white

people are the reason that hold on. I hear you, and honestly, I'll say this, that's how they get you, because I do think even as I read this article, right, even as I was sort of like going through this article, a part of me felt like the article itself is a of the occult right It is sort of like that in action, because all it is is trying to create a type of fear of something foreign or different. Which isn't to say that what this girl is doing is okay, It isn't. What she was doing was super

fucked up. If she is in fact human trafficking these women, there's no excuse for that. But that doesn't mean that

we have to correlate a religion with that. We could just call her a fucked up lady and say that she misinterpreted what potentially could just be a way that people get by, a way that people understand the world much in the way that we do with Christianity or Islam or whatever other religions exactly, bro, Because you can't say that everybody that's like you say Islam, everybody is Muslim.

You can't say that they're bad but you. But Muslim people will easily tell you, like yo, it's terrorists groups that's associated with our religion, But they not us. They them, they're doing their own things. They don't read the same ship. They don't read the same ship we read, and then they don't interpreted in the fund up weight and then so now they're doing all this ship over here. But you can't associate the whole group with that ship. I'm chilling. I got my rug, I got my little hat, and

I ain't father nobody. Come on there, you just just described the ladder. Hey, Disney did some fun up ship too. They made some weird correlations. That don't mean I wasn't describing a religion. That just means, hey, we gotta do some uh analysis a deep die. Yeah, bro Okay, we're gonna take one more break. We'll be back with more Kevin eel and more, my mama told me. And we are back. Yes, Ken, you lend the nigga a pencil. Yeah, we're back here with mor Kevin Ecelo. My mama told me.

We're still talking about juju and jazz and and all the stuff that comes from West Indian practices of of faith and belief, good and bad. I think it's time for us to play a game. Let's play a game. And this is a very fun game that I've I've cooked up special for you. It's called what Juju would you Do? I put a spell on you my ship again,

it's what Juju would you do? And the way that this works, I'm going to introduce to you some celebrities who I believe could use a little bit of juju to help fix some of the problems that have arisen in their lives. And my ask for you, Kevin, is that you suggest a little bit of juju that you think they could handle, that that would help make their lives a little better based on the things that have happened to them. Does that make sense? Okay? What are you gonna give me the juju? Tou or I gotta

make this is all you, baby? This this is some fun, impriv just a good game of of creating through comedic magic. You got it. I believe in you. We'll start simple this, We'll make this nice and easy. Chloe Kardashian has been cheated on now for a record fifty nine times by Tristan Thompson. Fifty nine. I don't know if that number is real, but that's what I'm gonna tell people. Fifty

nine times he's dogged her out by women publicly. What ju ju might you suggest that old Chloe Kardashian does to help alleviate this cheating problem that she's dealing with. She's gotta do some type of junior that makes her gay because because there's not no way that she's gonna stop getting cheated on her line of like, not just women in Jim, but Chloe specifically in her line of like. These are the end that I want to date. All right, those the men you want to date. Well understand these

the circumstances to come with it. So you gotta but rub some fucking female raccoon hair on your on your nipples become gay. Okay. So she's she's clearly attracted to an she has an unhealthy relationship with men in that she's attracted to scumbag dudes who are naturally going to cheat on her. And so your best suggestion is the rubbed female raccoon hair on herself so that she made nipples on her nipples, excuse me, so that she may free herself of her attraction to these scumbags and potentially

find a nice lady to uh to build a life. Yes, all right, it's a good answer. Good answer, sir, service stands. Good answer. Uh. Okay, here's another one. Nicki Minaj, Old Nicki Minaj has now had alleged pedophile for a brother and then an alleged pedophile for a husband. What would you suggest form Nicki Minaj to help alleviate the bad omens coming into her life. I don't know, keep them niggas away from Candy. I don't know, man, I don't know.

That's a hard one, bro, I don't know. I don't like speaking on family business because like it's not it's not it's not her fault. Like she's just like around these people and it's not it's not it's not her fault. But you know that's I I don't I don't know what to say. I don't know. Stop giving them Keep them niggers away from lollipops. I heard candy. Maybe she rubs two lollipops together and uh and dips them into some rain water, and maybe that'll that'll help heal the

sugar from from her life and theirs. I don't know. That's that's crazy. Okay, let's do one that's a little, uh, little sillier. Maybe this will take some of the sting off of this. This is a personal favorite of mine. Terrence j Uh was once caught driving away from a hidden run with his side piece in his car. He got an accident. He was driving with his side piece side piece in the car. What Juju would you suggest for old Terence J. To help alleviate some of the

mistakes that transpired. Terence J. You don't even need juju for this. All you gotta do is say that was Langston Current. That wouldn't the world will believe you, big head. It's gotta be him. You don't even need for that. There, you just big head lights skin buff. If you look at him from the right angle, get somebody else in trouble, bro, that's a good answer. Okay, this is the final one, and you gotta use juju for this one. I don't think it's gonna be blaming me for for these problems. Okay,

this is my favorite one. Whatever happened to Bust the Rhymes neck? What juju? Bro? Stop juju? What do you suggest to make Buster Rhymes neck go back to normal? Bro? Come on, man, come on man. Bust is a good dude. Terrible neck, the great spirit neck? Is that the Redwood? But damn it. Sometimes I hate comedy because I don't know. Eventually I'm gonna run into him. He's like, Yo, what was on this? She was popping him on my neck? You wouldn't need me, It wasn't me. That's pretty god.

I love your neck. I think care for buster. The rhymes neck. Yeah, I guess you gotta. Okay, So the only way this is gonna work is on some freaky Friday ship, like on some like you know, you gotta transferred. You got transferred bodies, but you ain't transfer their whole body, transferred their neck and whoever neck bust. You know you got a lot of he got a lot of he got a lot of he got a lot of like the platinum and golden. You know, a lot of jewelry.

So you you you say that, you say the neck prayer in their the jewelry whatever, whatever Bible quote work for that. What was y'all saying earlier? It was uh one justin was saying, what's that Bible quote? So the uh that that you don't want to be lukewarm. You gotta be you want to be hot or cold when it comes to God, but you can't be look warm. Okay, So you don't want to be thick neck when it comes to God. You gotta be Just do it like that. You let me thick neck, would it come to God?

You gotta be the then or in the middle or in the middle, and then say that into a ring and then you you you touched you just touch a lot of things. Neck. I want to say the women, because it would be weird if you start touching dudes. Next that you want to have you got to touch a man's You gotta run around touching man's necks and then maybe it'll transfer to you. Yo. All right, as long as you're choking them there it is all right. We did it. This is this is a great time. Kevin.

Could you tell the people at home where they could find you? What? What ship you got going on? I am currently you can find me every Sunday night on showtime. It's ten thirty Eastern nine thirty Central time. I don't know what time that is l A, but you can figure outtabyn l A show Tim flat Bush Misdemeanor is every Sunday for the next like and we did four, so the next about seven weeks. Yeah, that beautiful and

it's a it's a gorgeous show. Oh finished finished? Oh no, yeah, And then it's Kevin I so propanol on Instagram, I so propanol, like the alcohol. And then on Twitter it's I'm not available because yeah, what do you think, Like, do you think I should get back on Twitter. I like your Twitter. You tweeted once a year, and uh it was mostly you critiquing yourself for being on it. You truly seem dedicated to the art form. So yeah, get back on Twitter. It seems worth it now. Kevin's hysterical.

I think he's great, and please watch flat Bush Misdemeanors. It's great, And you can follow me at Langston Kerman And as always, if you want to send us drops, if you want to send us notes, if you want to send us your own theories, please send them to my Mama pod at gmail dot com. Otherwise, wait by bit,

wait no, wait, not by bitch. Last day, Langston did a fucking phenomenal job on Pause with Sam J. I'm sure he's already talked about in the pot, but I ain't talk about it, so now I'm talking about it. But he did a phenomenal job head right in shot, like basically, you know, he's doing everything. I ain't gonnam out that like that, but he did a great job with that show. You guys check it out and support and you know he coming now with the motherfucking bust

down soon. So stay tuned, Stay tuned, Stay tuned. Nobody's ever promoted me this much and it's beautiful. Thank you, Kevin, and uh yeah, okay now officially bye bitch, racist money, turkey stuff and I can't tell me nothing my lo