Whites Only Anal Probes (with Ashley Nicole Black)

racist money stuff. You can't tell me. Yep, there it is. Boom boom, boom boom, there is, Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal, devastating episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep deep into the pockets and black conspiracy theories and we finally work to prove that will I Am goes by the name Bill Me for short. That's right, Bill dot me, That's Bill. Do you get it? Because William is if Bill is short

for William. Listen, all of these can't be winners. Sometimes you write down stuff about famous black people where you go, well, this week is gonna be a stinker. But you know what. I'll be back next week and I'll try it again. I'll figure it out. Eventually, I'll nail it. Listen, we're excited to be here. And by where I just may mean I'm here alone. But I'm not gonna be alone forever because my guests today. Oh, she's amazing. She's a I love her. She's hilarious. You guys know her from

so many cool things. You know her from a Black Lady Sketch show, hilarious show on HBO. You know her from writing on Ted Lasso. You know from writing on the show that I Hold Dear in my Heart. They allowed me to show up for a little while on it, a show called Bless This Mess. She's hilarious. Please give it up for my guests, Miss Ashley, Nicole Black, Everybody, how are you? Man? Who knows? I don't know what date is? I know as I'm still in my house. Hell yeah, And and hey, you will be for the

foreseeable future. Huh how about that? I remember, I'm sure you have fond memories of this as well, that there was a point where we were all like, when this pandemic first started, You're like, you'll probably be done by like June, Oh, I remember two weeks we're working. They were like, listen, we're gonna take a two week break from work. I don't know what everyone's upset about. I could use a two week maybe, sweet relief. Nothing could go wrong with two weeks. It's like, nah, this is

gonna be our prison. Uh maybe forever? Yeah, this is life now. Yeah, well, if it's gonna be life, I'm so pleased that at least in a small moment of our now much sadder lives, we get to unpack your conspiracy theory because you came to us with I one that I'm super excited about because we haven't done a lot in this space. I'll be honest, it's sort of an untouched territory for this podcast. But you said, and I want to get this right. You said, my mama

told me only white people get abducted by aliens. Yes, and I want to be clear, that's a fact. Okay, there may be conspiracy around how that happens, but it is a fact that only white people get abducted by aliens. True, devastating if true. Uh, okay, this is exciting only white people. Tell me a little bit about where this fact for you comes from the the we'll call it a fact if that's how you're gonna premise this. But how where does this pack come from for you? Where where did

you first come to believe this? Um? I have said. You know, you always see like those old clips of like Maury or whatever, and it's the people who are saying they got abducted by aliens. And you only ever see white people saying that. You only ever see white people talking about aliens. And then I thought about it, and I'm like, well, if I was an alien, think about it. If you were going to go somewhere you've never gone before. You're gonna go to Italy or Spain

or somewhere you've never been. Okay, this is me or this is the Okay. I wasn't sure. If you're like, if you're an alien, you got to Italy spaghetti, I was like, put yourself in the shoes of an alien. You're gonna go somewhere you've never been before. What would you do? You would research that place and find out what's the best restaurants, what's the best attractions, what's the coolest thing to see. Now, if you're an alien, you're researching Earth, all of the books, movies, podcasts, all the

things we've produced about ourselves. Says that white people are the best and most normal to study humans other than Wow. Now, okay, now, and we're starting hot, we're starting early. I love this. So what you're suggesting to me, and I think this is important is that because and maybe you're saying this that because white people, in so many ways have led the control over our media, over our history, over the documentation of the what it means to be a human

being on this earth. Naturally, aliens in receiving information about where they're traveling to, if they needed a guide book, it would be from the white purview, it would be from the white experience, and subsequently would then go and be like, well, we gotta abdect a good old fashioned white that's that's like, that's a chef's kiss example of of America and really the world. Yes, I am saying that they played themselves Century's log playing of themselves that

they have under God. So is it a conspiracy? Yes, a lot of people got together to do a thing, but they didn't know they were doing it in and manifesting their own supremacy for so long they accidentally made themselves the perfect targets for alien objections. Right, If I'm an alien coming to an earth, I want the supreme being. If I'm going to kidnap one, I don't want some

the second tier being. And y'all tricked a bunch of people into believing that they are in fact supreme, that that the white supremacists of the world are are selling that to both us and outer space. Yeah, aliens yelped us. White people had the best review. That's crazy that all these five star reviews for white people are starting to come back to them. I love this. You brought up something that I think, uh holds certainly a dear spot in my heart. You said, uh, Maury, the old Moriy

episodes where they would have like alien abductions. And I don't even know if Moriy does this anymore. I don't know if our listeners remember when Moriy wasn't just doing pregnancy tests, but he used to be of he had

a diverse sort of platform of crazy people's. Previously, it used to be harder to get on TV, I think just in general, and so you have to really there were like two shows that you could get on if you weren't like an actor or someone who would be on TV naturally, and so you had to really come up with a story to get yourself on TV. Yes, you know I was. I'm glad you said that because I was watching an old Oprah clip around this subject,

right that Oprah was. You know, this was back before Oprah was a white savior and was just a lady like searching for ship to talk about on her show. And she had like this one dude who was like on the show claiming to have had been abducted multiple times by aliens, and it was just her being like, now, you know people are gonna say you're crazy, right He's like yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I get it, Oprah, But

you gotta understand they touched me. They made love to me, Like I okay, I guess it was in an episode Oprah I love And now I feel like now Oprah would be like, let me hold your heads, how can we heal from the right, Let me kiss your sweet white hands, and I'll help you be a better person out in the world. And previously she was like, you sound real stupid to me. But we'll see what the fans think when this show every day, you know, they're not all gonna be great. They they can't all be winners.

Sometimes you just write Bill dot me down and you go, hey, good enough, you know, I love that. At what point in your life do you feel like this was a discovery that you made. Was there ever a point where you thought alien abductions were a possibility for you yourself a black woman? No? No, certainly not. I think like this is this is gonna get me in trouble on Twitter. But this is my opinion. I asure you coming on this podcast. We'll get you in Twitter. Let's just focus

on the important parts of this. All opinions should be spoken loudly. Um. I have a lot of things to worry about in my day to day life as a black woman walking down the street. Is that person gonna be racist me? Is that person gonna be sexist me? Is that person gonna be sizest to me? Can I trust that police officer? Something goes wrong with me? I just don't have time during the day to get to the worry of will a creature from another planet cut

down and do something to me? This planet is dangerous enough for me. I feel like you have to be pretty safe here for you to be like my fears are located else, right, I don't need to worry about invaders them. I'm worried about Caucasian Tim. H he is in fact a a equal threat, if not a bigger one, based on everything that you're you're positing these aliens might do to me. Yeah. Oh, an alien might come and like look at me, right. Oh, and alien might come

in uh and and poke at my skin. Oh no, have sabotaging me at my job, like I have a more pressing. Tim keeps telling me I can't wear my hair the way I wear my hair, and uh, I spent a lot of money on this, and also it makes me feel worse. So what do I do with that? That's a little worse than whatever the aliens can do? Yeah? I love that. Okay, So you never once believed that you personally could be abducted by aliens? Have you known

anybody who's had an alien experience? No one in your life ever has ever been like yo, I actually think I saw something. No, I do know people who and I feel like it's become more acceptable to talk about because I never did my whole life in the past

couple of years. Now, I feel like people are like, I think there's a ghost in my house, and I'm like, okay, okay, no one ever said it, and it's like five years ago, it was like, let's just all admit that we think there's a ghost in our and are Here's Here's where this gets fascinating. Are you one of those people that it that has admitted that. Are you just somebody who has been nearby when somebody else did. I'm the nearby person,

but I am willing to believe. I'm willing to believe anyone that feels that they have experienced something what you choose to name it. It's like a choice. So one person might be like I saw a ghost, and one person might be like I saw alien, and then one person who's been the therapy might be like, I have fears. Yeah, I have these looming experiences of my dad being named to me, and it's it's taken shape in the form of like, ah, I guess a humanoid thing, but it

ain't alien or spirit. It's just it's just mean daddy standing at the end of my bed hunting me. I think that's fair. I do think it's a careful dance that we have to do, and it's not even just some PC ship but I do think it's a an actual careful dance of being able to recognize that that part of what people are experiencing, if it feels real to them, has a level of validity to it. It doesn't mean it has a truth to it, but it certainly has some validity, if you know what I mean.

I'm saying, Yeah, they're dealing with something like I remember one time. This is like not comparable, but it's kind of the same thing. I was having a hard time at work and I was like, everyone at work hates me. They're all trying to sabotage me. Everyone is to get me. And my girlfriend was like, you're feeling anxiety, Like that's got a real thing. That's a hundred people at a workplace did not have a meeting and that gets together. No,

even the people at Ellen. There were some people that were like, I don't know if the bitch is cool. I'm chilling talk to Ellen. She's hill. It's fine, Like everybody can't hate you at a single place. It's just

not possible that, Like you're to your point. That's anxiety that makes us believe in extremely fictional things, and sometimes those fictional things manifest themselves into like an actual body, into an actual form that that feels even more scary, if that makes sense, yeah, Like, well, or maybe it's

less scary, Like it might be less scary. The idea that a being that is you don't know what it is and you're not related to it, and um, it's a stranger to you wishes you harm than to admit that this person in your life, if it's your dad or your abusive husband or whatever, wishes you harm. Like that's actually harder to deal with for some people. I'm sure that's interesting. I never considered that. I've never and

to be honest, it makes perfect sense. I never considered the possibility that for someone who believes in aliens, that that uh, that body could be less scary then or less hurtful than. You know, the idea of like somebody close to you being judgmental of you or malicious towards you, or whatever it is. That's what I think Q and on is like as weird and crazy as Q and

on is. They are convinced that like Tom Hanks and a whole bunch of Hollywood celebrities are like stealing children and molesting them and drinking their blood and Trump is the only one who can save these kids, and that's insane. But in real life, children are getting molested every day by dad's and priests and soccer coaches, and it must

be nice too. Instead of having that anxiety about like, oh my god, my kid could get hurt by someone in my family who I care about, it's like, no, it's those bad people over there who I'll never meet. As long as I keep my fucking kid away from Philadelphia, he'll be fine. If Forrest Gump comes anywhere near my fucking baby, then he'll get raped. But as long as I even away from there, he'll be He'll be a

strong avoid Tom Cakes. Yeah, Tom Hanks is a lot easier to get away from then, uh than the person who you go to every day for spiritual advice. God damn, that's devastating. I do to that point. I do think that so much of what um conspiracy theorists are buying into myself included, sometimes is adding rational to what is

otherwise completely irrational shit. Right, that the world is so hard to compress into a consumable like meal, it's just it's it's almost impossible to make a meal out of everything that's happening in the world, and it's easier to just be like, oh, that's some crazy way above us that we couldn't even possibly make sense of, instead of being like, it's actually pretty clear and simple right in

front of us. Yeah. Also in that same vein like if your own behavior is confusing to you, like a lot of people who say they were abducted by aliens, experience lost time. I have experienced lost time because I drank too much. That was a bad choice. And instead of being like, I didn't make a bad choice, someone came and took me right right, nobody doesn't. You didn't. You didn't lose time. You blacked out in your truck

and then woke up an hour later. And yes, you're in a different location, because sometimes when we black out, we keep drying, keep moving that And in fact, you should be celebrating the fact that you managed to blackout and not die from that experience instead of sitting around being like aliens, Oh no, they took my body. What am I gonna do? I love that. That's this You're you're speaking a lot of important truths out in the in in this thing. So no, you don't believe black

people have ever been abducted. You don't believe anybody outside of white community is do they mess with Asians at all? Do they ever teple in some in the Mexican or two like what are you doing? You said that I pictured an alien abducted like a light skinned Latina, and then things like oh my god, I'm so sorry man, I'm gonna put you right back in your back. Mama Sita, I'm so sorry. This was never plan. We thought you were of the Caucus region. We had no idea you were.

You were Latin. Next, please get off our ship. So no, you don't think they dabble at all. That they strictly stick to the pure white meat. Although maybe as our media eventually becomes less racist that they're consuming, maybe the aliens will become less racist as well. But I expect the light skills to get abducted first, So I think I'm gonna be safe. Uh, that's a big issue for me. I don't I don't know if you've noticed, but that's

sort of my signature move. Um. I do. I think it's interesting the framing of what you just said as our media sort of becomes less racist, because I do think that that if we're following your train, right of like, white people have shaped our presentation of what the world is, which has been like largely white. And therefore it comes to reason that when aliens come to this earth, they

would take white people. And so it makes me wonder if there is even like a want on the parts of the aliens to explore outside of the white space yet or if they still have work to do in in learning about white people. Right, alien abductions have existed for long a long time. Are they done working on white people and they're trying to advance to different groups? Are they still like figuring out what white toes do? That's you know, so fascinating that they you know, you

give what I'm saying. Yeah, I wonder if it'll be like anything else, Like once they have duct their first black person is over for us, Like we were sucking up this whole time. These ones are way more interesting and fun. Ye yeah, they're like look at them now, look it all is this is cool? You see all this meat on our back. We gotta study that. That's different. Still cook for us all these flat whites this whole time, and we need some of these stick hums. I like this, Yeah,

it is. I mean, this is so trash, but a lot of the story of alien in abduction is like aliens being interested in their butts, and maybe some people just want to feel like their butts are interesting and hey,

hold on, they get you. I think you're you're you're bringing up something really important here, because I do wonder there is to your point, there's so much in the alien abduction space that really is sexual that like quite a few of the alien abduction certainly that I've read about and seen are rooted in a a version of sexual interactions or sexual sort of experiences, and it it kind of makes you wonder if how much of this is just a dude in a small town who wanted

to try anal but wasn't ready to admit that, and like, you want somebody in your butt, but you don't know how to tell people that, so you go and alien touched it and uh yeah, I'm still figuring it out, and uh, everyone cool, but that somebody that would be cool? Okay, what if it was Todd and alien visited me three times this week? What am I gonna do? Oh lord, It's like, no, man, You're just like ass play. Just be into ass play. If that's what you're into. That's

the thing. The more like humans oppressed, like certain behaviors and stuff like that, the more weird stuff humans have to come up with, right, Like every single cult is a dude being. Like God spoke to me and his message was that I should fuck a bunch of teenagers. And it's like, I don't God isn't not to say that the Lord already think that. I've talked to the Lord and he keeps saying, put your mouth on it. I don't know. I don't know what his plan is. I just know he's talking to me and I need

you to follow through on his wishes. It's like, man, that's what the Internet is for. You can always find somebody, and that that truly is maybe at the core of everything that you're suggesting is is if in fact, all of this is just repressed people finding excuses for their experiences through alien stories and ship It's like, just find your group, man, just go on the Internet and find your community, and you don't have to make up an

alien story. You can just be happy. Yeah, you can just go to comic con and do all kind of freaky stuff. I'm sure I've never been, but That's what I imagine Comic Con is just nice people who found their group and playing each other's But I get it. I love that. Okay, last question before we go to break, and I think this is an important one just for us to be able to like make sure, and it feels like it should have been an earlier question, but I think just to to fully be clear, do you

believe in aliens? I do, and I do not. If there were aliens, this is what I think they would be doing. If there are not aliens, then there's a whole other set of questions of why people are fantasizing their fears onto this fake thing that doesn't exist, right, which maybe I do feel like white people would tell us years of these elaborate stories of how scary aliens are so that they can go to Mars and we don't go with them, you know, is trying to get to Mars. I feel like they're gonna go to Mars

and start an NBA that they can win. They have destroyed this planet and they are gonna leave us here. They We're like, no, no, no, space is very scary your butt, And then they're gonna all going to be God and we're going to be left on this planet and it will be very hot here, right. So, so to your point, you think that there's a there's an element of the alien story that could just be trickery.

This could just be a long con to make us terrified of outer space and allow them to escape quietly from the planet while we burn, while we drown and burn in our own ship. And honestly, probably overdone because black people, it's like, terrified to leave their city. So you really did have to tell us twice not to go to Mars. Yeah, man, it's not There aren't a lot of us really tracking Elon Musk's like progress, you know what I mean, Like, I'm not I'm not keeping

up with what he's been up to. I pretty much know I ain't working with that dude. Yeah, it gets retweeted into my feet, That's how I see what he's up to. Yeah, I don't trust any white man with a Tupay. It just something don't sit right in that whole spirit that like, look, there's too many cool, bald white dudes with evil powers that it could be your leader and example, why are you so desperate to hold

onto new hair? I don't like it. Yeah, especially any anything that's like, I mean, Trump is a perfect example. If you're gonna try to meet lie to me good. There are good wigs out there, sir, that you couldn't put out your head. Yes, he did not have to

commit so fully to that look. And I think ego and and sort of mania allowed him to keep saying like, no, this is the way it has to be instead of being honest and just to your point, you know, it's just just find your community, man, Just be honest about what you look like and what you're supposed to be. And the studies like, no, I'm gonna be the most handsome man in the world. This wig will I'll prove to people that this is the best. And it's like

nobody's gonna like the wig, Donny, it's not happening. Joe Biden got hair plugs. Yeah, that's the man I can trust. Yeah, he really leaned into being like, uh, barely their hair. I love that. It's like you can't even tell Joe Biden has hair sometimes because he just it's all silver and it's it's just pulled back it. Yeah, you figured it out. Knows how to wear a suit, that's all. Hell. Yeah, I got some new teeth. He looks great. We love you. We love you Joe until you fuck something up, but

we love you for now. All right, we're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more Ashley, Nicole Black and more. My mama told me, and we are that we're not gonna let Joe Biden and Kamala Harris cut America's meet. That's that on that, that's that on that. Yeah, we're back here more. Actually, Nicole Black more, and my mama told me, we're still talking about the possibility that aliens do in fact, it exists, and if they do exist, they only funk with you, the white devil at home.

And we're really trying to figure out why that is beyond the fact that they're sort of like fascinated with white media or sort of like taken with the presentations of white media. Do you think that there's something especially interesting for them about white people? Do you know what I mean? Like, what do you think what do you think white people sold them on about their identities or bodies that really makes the white or the aliens go,

we gotta we gotta poke at that. Well, I think white people have sold themselves as the norm, like the standard experience. So if you were going to study a group of dogs, you wouldn't pick like, oh, like the weirdest, the smallest dog, and the biggest dog. You would pick the most normal one, and like, gonna learn about dogs starting here, And they've they've sold themselves that way. If I truly want to learn about about dogs, I don't start with a pug. I start with a Golden Retriever,

a standard issue dog. All right, I like that. Let's get into some of this research, because I do think that there's a fair amount of what you you've already theorized that I'll just I'll just start talking. Feel free to jump in at any point to tell me shut the funk up you don't agree, call me an idiot. I'm excited to see all of this play out. So to your point, most reported alien abductions come from the

United States. Statistically, that is in fact true, And I do think it's especially interesting giving your theory on the idea that white people are sort of framing the conversation, because what country is better at sort of framing white people at the forefront then the United States, especially given the fact that we are such a diverse country that still tells mostly white history. Also we tell the most stories, right,

like America makes most of the media. So it would be like, oh, now that like Nollywood is getting big, aliens will start going to Nigeria now right, Yeah, They've been watching all these Notywood movies and they're like, hey, we gotta hey, look, we saw what regular iron man is. Now we gotta see what Nigerian iron man is. Like, we gotta figure that one out. I love that, Okay.

So with that, this is where it gets interesting is that the first official uh and this sort of challenges your your claim and I hate to do this, but the first official claims of alien abductions actually came from people of color that that the original like and these weren't the original alien abductions, but certainly the ones that caught like international attention. The first one actually came from this dude who was a Brazilian farmer named Antonio Vias Boas.

That was Antonio Boas, was this dude out in Brazil who claimed that while he was farming at night, and he was farming at night because it was super hot during the day, at these tiny little aliens, these five foot little aliens with tiny blue eyes, flew over the top of him, knocked him out, took him onto their

spacecraft and probed him. And then he says that this beautiful red haired alien, something that has now been sort of like branded as a plead in uh these this sort of beautiful humanoid woman with blue eyes, made him have sex with her in order to create a human alien hybrid child, and then threw him off the ship. Not threw him, but took him off the ship and left him to tell his story later. I mean, in a hundred percent, sounds like Antonio cheated on his wife, right.

I had to think fast, Uh, you cheated on your wife with a red haired prostitute. And there was a tiny, little blue eyed pimp who was with her. It was like, hey, dog, I'll let you fun this lady. And he was like, all right, man, come on, dog, please, your wife finds a red hair on your sweater. My favorite part of the whole story is Antonio made a point of expressing how red her pubes were, that it wasn't just her red hair that he also was like the pubic hair red.

It's like, all right, Antonio, you're a little obsessed with this alien in a way that that does sound more sexual than uh, than like kidnapping. Also, just wonder from an evolutionary standpoint, what use aliens have for pubes? That is, oh, in very important question here, why do these aliens have pups?

Was it for our own comfort? Because in theory, I think the suggestion is that these plea adiencies, these women uh, these aliens that take women form are meant to like, uh, look like something we would get horny for, and subsequently then we can come inside of them and give them little alien babies. But like the pups, ain't the part that everybody's getting horny for personal taste? Maybe they saw his dreams. He was like, listen, I like a I like a fiery red bush. If there's not there, Old

Antonio just can't get in the mood. I'll just stay on the farm. And that, oh Antonio, you rascal. Okay. Now, this is the the second known case and the second sort of biggest international case of a alien abduction actually involves a black man and his white wife. I don't know if you've ever heard of Betty and Barney Hill, who were an interracial couple in ninety one who basically claimed to have been abducted in New Hampshire while they were driving back from a trip to Niagara Falls, these

like lights come over their car. They get abducted, uh, and they claim that like they, like you said before, time lapse, right, like they go blank for two hours. They get up in the spaceship. Now, Barney and Betty have somewhat different stories in this experience. Betty claimed that she got in the ship and she was pretty much cracking jokes with the aliens and like they even like at one point offered her a book that she could take back. But then the other alien, like one of

the they call them grays. They're they're often described as these tall, gray, big eyed aliens that kind of set the standard for what we now know to be the

you know, traditional aliens and media. Right, Um, these Grays were like hanging out with her and like poking at her, and they even gave her a pregnancy test where they poked something in her belly and she said it her what they were nice about it and all this ship and they offered her a book, but then the big boss Gray was like, no, take the fucking book back. She can't have the book. And then they sent her a longer way. Whereas Barney is much more like I

don't know, dog. They were just kind of like cold with me and like very very off putting and not necessarily as like warm and cuddly as my wife describes it. But they both basically claimed to have seen the same thing, wake up thirty five miles down the road back at their farm with these memories that they then have to unpack in therapy and hypno therapy years later. Your thoughts, um, I mean, as soon as you said they're like driving and then lights went off, I was like, did they

get taken by the police. Then the police were nicer to her. It doesn't feel wrong. It listened the part where she was like, yeah, they were really cool to me, and he was like, I don't know, I didn't really like their vibe. Felt like here we go again that before. Yeah, like I don't there's no reason that they were so nice to Betty and not nice to Barney. I've seen

pictures of them. It's not like Betty was hot. There's nothing about her that like you needed to be like careful with other than maybe they just felt like being nice to a white lady. Well, and they they were like, we know this one's important. Right. I also feel like the first two coming from people of color does not negate my theory because white people stay appropriating. First I'm

now I'm liking what you're saying right here. Now you've piqued my interest in a way, because this is very exciting, because I do think that some of what we might be seeing, if in fact these alien abductions are real, is not that black people aren't in fact being abducted or brown people aren't being abducted, but that white people

shifted the focus. They were like, oh, this thing that started happening much more frequently in the fifties and sixties, now we're gonna make it about our experiences and so all you know, it's the same way that like, black people report kidnappings all the time and white media doesn't treat it with any sort of legitimacy or care. They

might do the exact same thing with alien abductions. That's at some poor black persons out here, like somebody please worry, anybody please, this is a fifth time they got me this week and talk to me. Well, somebody please come help me and my family. So one of the things that I ended up bumping into as I was going through this research was this Guardian article that sort of talked about exactly that that like the white the black people rather and brown people who get pushed out of

the alien conversation. So there's this article that basically unpacks the experience of this black Dominican dude who like moved from the Dominican Republic, moved to uh, the United States, and basically was obsessed with aliens his whole life, despite coming from a super religious family where he wasn't supposed to be talking about aliens and learning about this ship. This motherfucker loved aliens. He's obsessed. But he moves to America and ends up finding out about this organization. Now,

I want to get the organization's name right. It's called the Mutual UFO Network. Moufon is what they go by, right, And so he decides to join moufon, which is basically this nonprofit for citizens to form community around alien activity and encounters. And despite being this super advocate for aliens

and alien experiences, he loves them to death. He joins this organization and immediately all this news starts coming out about racist ship and sort of like discriminatory ship that MOUFON is doing against people of color and non you know, minority communities. So this move on, these are people who they're They like aliens, They're interested in the idea of aliens exactly. Do you know how racist you have to be to be like aliens? Yes, I would like to

hang out with them. Interested in them Black people? Oh no, no, no, I'm funk with y'all. I'm excited to find out as much as I can about you. You obviously are real things that I'm committed to learn about Black people. Not a fan. Don't care for him. Just leave, just makes my skin crawl, not for me, Just stay out of my space. You know, alien's come on, doubt Black people don't cross the streets. Aliens get in my butt. Black people stay off my lawn. This is all I'm saying.

So one of the things that that Moufon got in trouble for was in two thousand eighteen. So this dude, this black Dominican dude, he joins the organization around twenty sixteen, I believe in ten Newsweek reports on this wave of

resignations across Moufon. After John Ventor Ventre, I I don't know how to say his name, but the state director for the organization's Pennsylvania chapter, which is one of the largest chapters in the country, posted on his personal Facebook that white men in America were being attacked by a legal affirmative action and interracial couples in every show and commercial that basically he felt like this was an attack or white men, and he goes on later to apologize

when everybody starts tripping about it, but he says, I don't hate anybody. I apologize for what I said, but I'm feeling like, because I'm a sixty year old white man, I'm getting totally unfairly attacked. I just can't wait. So did they kick him out? Basically, yeah, they pushed him out of the organization. They were like a dog. This can't be reflective of of what Moufon believes. The reputation is now on the line. Hey man, you're really making us look bad as people who stare at the sky

all night. We're not loving what you're putting out there. I love that. I just can't. I mean, it makes perfect sense for someone who is racist to be like, I couldn't possibly get to know my neighbor. That interracial couple on that commercial is so foreign to me that I couldn't possibly try to figure out what their deal is, but aliens from the sky like to devote my life right. That that was the part that really bumped me, was like,

I'm cool with you having issues. I'm not cool with it, but I can make peace with you having issues with affirmative action politically, maybe you can find some sort of illogical evil argument and whatever that is. But uh, for you to be like all these interracial couples. Meanwhile, you run an organization where people are regularly coming in and saying they were probed in order to make inner species mixes of babies is fucking nuts. Like that doesn't bug you.

You should be campaigning against that. Aliens are are impregnating your women, and you're still like, I don't all these fucking niggers and their black little mixed babies. It's just not for me. Well, and also, like, so you have as a racist white person, you have to lack curiosity in my opinion, because if you were curious and you actually talked to any people of color, you would see that like, some of them are dope, some of them suck.

Just like every other group of people, you have to have enough curiosity to find that out for yourself instead of just believing the images that you get from whatever media you're consuming. But every piece of media you are consuming is telling you that aliens are not real, and you are capable of looking past all of that. But you see one report on Fox new it's not affirmative action.

You're like, it makes sense any further. Yeah, it truly does speak to not only the way that white people choose to limit their imaginations when it comes to our humanity, but I think it also speaks and this flips it right.

It speaks to the way that white people have intentionally limited black people's imaginations and people of colors imaginations that like, you won't allow us to even enter into these spaces and just dream of stars and space and spacecrafts because you keep interrupting it with being like, I don't want y'all getting into schools that you ain't supposed to be getting into. It's like, bro, I came here to talk

about aliens. I didn't even want to think about this ship, but you, the chapter leader, are like interrupting it with your own garbage. And honestly, like, when you put it that way, how nice would it be as a black person to take a break and be like, let's just talk about space. Yeah. I would love to just be in an alien group and not not based on race or community. I don't even need it to be a

black alien group. I truly would love to just sit around with a bunch of weirdos and talk about what happened to our butts and and unpack that and maybe we find out we have daddy problems or maybe there truly are aliens out there, and that's a beautiful growth either way for that community to imagine and to decompressed from whatever is in our ship. I really love the idea that for you, working out your daddy issues or discovering that aliens are real would both be incredible. Gross

hey listen, and we we'd have healing either way. I don't know. I don't know which one I need, but I know for sure healing needs to happen, so hell yeah, let's do that. I love it. Either way, it's a

new vision of authority. Yea. Yeah. Here's Here's something that I think you might find even more fascinating is that I read a piece of this essay called of Alien Abductions Pocket University Universes and slave narratives, which basically suggests uh that a that as a method of surviving the evil associations made by white people like Thomas Jefferson in equating black bodies to living machines, a type of imaginative subversion was born that like, black people started to use

their imagination when they were made into machines by their white slave owners, right that, like if somebody comes by and goes, you're a human machine, you then, as a method of survival, go, well, if I'm a machine, what are my parts? Like? Where what tinkering around in there? There must be a corkscrew and a blah blah blah.

You know what I mean? Um, And I think that there's something really interesting in in uh in not only the the accidental limitation of our imaginations, but maybe an intentional limiting of our imaginations to keep us beyond our from moving beyond our circumstances. That in that way that they're recognizing that this is a survival method to be like, oh, if I'm a machine, then I can be an android.

They're going like, well, if they start to truly believe in aliens, they'll start to know that they aren't the worst person on this planet that like, or that the rankings that we've created are in fact bullshit in the first place. Yeah, if and also like, if there's somewhere else to go, Like, I think part of that limiting is like, you're gonna stay here on this plantation, doing this work. You are never going to leave here. This is the only thing that life could be, So don't

even dream about anything other than this happening. And if someone in that situation thinks that aliens are real, that means there's not only just so much more state and country, there's more universe that you could go to where circumstances might be different, exactly. I think at I think at its core, the advantages of whiteness right have to be lost if we've in fact find out there's a superior being living out in the universe. If you can make

it to Earth, you're better than white people. White people can't. We've barely left Earth. So like, if white people are in fact the best that Earth can offer, which I don't believe but they do. If you are in fact the best that Earth can offer, and then there's this species that can make it here, then you aren't the best in the universe, which means that we don't need to keep being submissive to whatever you're you're biological, whatever cooking is that that made you so much better than us.

We should be serving those aliens if nothing else well, or like maybe the aliens would just be like, oh, these ones are cool, We're taking these and then we would just like go hang out. Like I really think a lot of the like over narrativizing of like black people being worse is because the second they met black people, they were like, oh my god, they are gorgeous and strong, Like quick, wait, tell them they're bad. Are we going to this motherfucker's making jazz? We don't even know how

to do that. Go out, make it stop. I love that, I do think, and it got me thinking about even like traditions that aren't alien in this space that at the end of the day, if like part of it is this is why they keep Jesus and Santa white, right, it's it's a maintenance of the status quo. We it satiates whatever that need is to keep them elevated above us in their own minds, is by having a white savior and a white man who can travel across the world and give out gifts instead of it being you know,

a nigga with a bag and and doing his job. Well, here's the thing, do you remember, um. I think it was the last Winter Olympics. There was a black woman who for like some technical reason, she couldn't compete in the sport that she normally competes in, so she did speed skating instead, and in the course of a few much she learned how to speed skate she had never done it before. Went to the Olympics and metal because

because that's the kind of ship that we do. I think you have to say this game is not for you, because we know if you ever play it, you're that you might win. So these games are not for you. These are winter sports that space that's not for you. Yeah, and to that point, And I think this is important for our white listeners to hear because I don't want to get caught in some trap where they go like they're suggesting black people would be better at this, at

every single sport. Like I don't give a funk about having that conversation. But what I will say is that we could thrive in every space that you can thrive in if we were given a fair shot to thrive in those spaces, And unfortunately, you've created a system where I don't get to learn to play polo to find out if I'm in fact the greatest polo player of all fucking time. Yeah, what if I was meant to be a huge TikTok star? Don't never just give me the shot and then you know if I suck at it,

which I probably will. I've got stubby little arms. These motherfucker's ain't good for polo, I have to imagine. But let me try and let me figure that shoot out. Well, the thing that's so crazy too is we're like, what twelve percent of the population in the US, all things being equal, every profession would have black people, right, so you would. That's not the most act, not that much. Pretty small percent. That's what you're afraid of. You're afraid

of thirteen percent of CEO is being right. That means that at every like office birthday party, there's one dude named Tyreek, and and that's all we're asking for. And y'all are so uncomfortable with the premise of Tyreek being there that you in fact just create systems where you don't allow anyone to be in that space. And that's fucking crazy. All right, We're gonna take more, more break. We'll be back more Ashley, Nicole, Black and more, my mama told me. And we are that. Yeah, we're back

here with more Ashley, Nicole and Black more. And my mama told me. We're still talking about aliens and the possibility that the alien abductions are in fact just a way of limiting the scope of black people and our potential that this is all sinister and the white devil cooked it all up. All right, I think you can take literally anything and come back to that conclusion. And you know, you know what, if you listen to this podcast,

that's pretty much what I did. I think anybody who subscribes to this would totally agree that that's kind of the whole game. It's just me figuring out ways to call people the white devil at the end of the thing, in a silly way that sometimes has meaningful bullshit underneath it, but frankly, it's just an excuse for me to get some ship off my chest. That's called being a cultural commentator. Oh and and Papa's hitting a home run on that one.

All right, I want to play a game with you. Uh, this is a very dumb game that I'm I've decided to call alien or ant Farm. This is a fun game where I am going to introduce to you a number of celebrity alien encounters, times where celebrities have claimed to have seen aliens or experienced some version of an alien encounter. And I would love for you, Ashley, to tell me whether or not you believe their story, and if not, what you think actually happened in their experiences.

I highly anticipate a Kircy Ali's name coming up. I've never had people guessed before. This is exciting. Okay, let's jump into it. This is an exciting uh first swing. We have Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus who claimed in in magazine in October very recently that uh she says that she had an alien encounter where she did see one flying her and her friend and she was driving and basically trying to outrun it. The alien was sitting in front of the flying object and it looked at me,

she says, and we made eye contact. I think she saw a drone, maybe like a small child playing with a drone. That's fair that this was just a small drone that Miley Cyrus turned into an alien encounter. You don't believe that she in fact did see an alien, that's fair. She also did later say that she was highest ship at the time that this encounter took place. Uh, there is uh post malone. Post malone, says uh. And he talked about this on the Joe Rogan podcast, pretty

much the same podcast that I'm running. I think uh. I think there's a pretty clear one for one on the old Joe Rogan podcast and this one. But he said on the Joe Rogan podcast that he's actually been uh, he's encountered UFOs in New York, Utah, and California over the years. And he's like, how did no one else see this? This is in reference to the the But I was there with like four other fucking people and they saw it too, that like these are this is

one of his encounters. How how are you feeling about post malone seeing aliens? I once was driving my mom's car and she has Serious and I guess Serious has a whole post malone channel that just slone day. I did not know this, so I'm driving I was like, oh, this is a good song. Oh, this song has been going on for three hours, and I was just like vibing to it. And I'm like, if I can vibe that much listening to post Melode, I can only imagine how much he vibes making this music. And so if

anybody has hung out with aliens, it is postmloned. Wow. So okay, so you're believing the post malone possibility of it all. I just feel like he's on another frequency. That's fair. The man has uh he's made some very bold choices with his face and body that I think he has stay Away tattooed over his eyebrow, maybe for this reason. Yeah, he looks up at the UFO. They

can read his wish. I would love that if the aliens. Uh, that's the one way you keep the aliens from fucking with you is writing out your your one wish on your fucking eyebrows, like stay away. They're not great at consent, but if you are really explicit, if you get it in writing, they gotta take it. And apparently you got to write it on your face, said spokes ma alone. Okay, here's another fun one. January Jones claims to have uh seen an alien. She says she it happened when she

was in her twenties. She said it could have been a shooting star that she just couldn't figure it out. She's not a hundred percent sure, but suspects that it was it was an alien encounter of sorts. I appreciate the imagination of anyone's like it could have been a shooting star, which means it also could have been an airplane, helicopter or anything. But I'm gonna go straight to fair enough.

January Jones had the liberty, and I do think it's a liberty to be like, it could have been a shooting star, uh, thing that we all experienced all the time and see, or it could have been an alien encounter. And I live in a whimsical world that allows me to believe to her life over you, January Jones. Uh. Then there's Kurt Russell. Kurt Russell claims that he was flying. He says, I was flying and there were these banks of light in the shape of a triangle right near

the airport. He said. Years later, I come home in Goldie Goldie Hawn is watching this show on UFOs and the most reported one of all time was in one was one in Phoenix. I start to see this show and say, wait a minute, that's the night I was landing in Phoenix. Um. I feel like the triangle shape is a very common flying saucer. Like people say that they think they saw UFO, and it's also the shape

that our military aircraft is in. And I just don't understand why people don't think, oh, I saw a military aircraft the airport, Yeah, where they would be right, It's like, oh, it was by the place where planes go. Maybe it just was that was a plan. But I also am really interested in this thing that he did that I

have done that a lot of people do. Where you there's no way he could remember, so he remember seeing lights in the sky, I'm sure that happened, and then he sees a TV show that says something happened in Phoenix. There's no way you could remember that you were specifically in Phoenix on that day. But your brain just puts those two things together because it wants to. And I

just think that's such an interesting thing. And I like, never trust myself when I do, especially because I'm sure you're in the same situation when you travel so much for work. You're like, what city was I in when that happened? Was that? Was this person there or that person there, and I'm like, am I making up a story where we were hanging out in New York and this thing happened? Or like, did that thing happen but in Chicago and you weren't there, And now that we're

talking about it, I'm putting these two memories. Yeah, to that point, I think that's that in in a slightly less endearing way, that's what happen him with Brian Williams, right, is like Brian Williams wasn't in a fucking helicopter that got shot down in in Iraq or shot at to the point of almost getting shot down in Iraq, but he was in fact, like in Iraq and wasn't a helicopter and maybe even saw firing going on in a way that made him create this story in his head

that it all felt real and visceral. That's that's the kind way of interpreting what might have happened. It also could have just been a man trying to take advantage of, you know, his fame and media. But I do think that a part of it was just like it felt real in his head, so he told the fucking story. And I feel like, as a woman like I will see someone who I'm known for ten years and go to say hello, and my brain will stop and be like, is her name really Kelly? Even though like I've worked

with Kelly every day of ten years. But I am so taught to question myself that I questioned every piece of information my brain gives me. So I cannot fathom being the kind of person who sees that thing on TV and it's like, yes, I was there, I remember, and my brain and it happened to me. Listen. That's how I feel about my wife every day. What is your name? Lady? Who are reintroduce yourself? I don't know you or you did that? They were like, have you guys met this is my wife? This is my mom?

You guys but it's just us alone in the house, and like have you met her? Nice? Uh? You you aren't. We'll do two more. There are two two more fun ones I think worths unpacking. There's Aaron Rodgers, Aaron Rodgers of football fame. I don't know if you're you're a football fan at all. He's the uh, the quarterback for the Green Bay Packers. He's big, handsome, talented man, arguably one of the best quarterbacks in the game. Uh. He said that it looks like a commerce jet in reference

he was twenty years old. Referring to his alien encounter, he said, it looks like a commercial jet kind of flying, or maybe it's a military jet. And they're trying to figure out what's coming through the clouds, and you see like a fiery movement of clouds, I guess, coming through the sky. He then goes on to say, then the plane eventually runs into the spaceship which is coming into orbit. It was like a large orange left to right moving object.

I think he saw a beautiful sunset. Happy. So literally, up to this point, you are only buying uh post Malone story. Of all the people I've introduced, you're like, the only one I'm here for is post Malone. He's the most incredible celebrity. That's you're making wild choices. Actually I'm not gonna say good or bad. That's not my place,

but I will say wild, wild choices. My favorite, my personal favorite that I'm going to throw your way is that uh is that Jaden Smith was not white, but but it is a big advocate that UFOs and aliens exists. He said he talked to President Obama about extraterrestrials and and Obama said he could neither confirm nor deny the existence of aliens, which means in Smith's mind, they're real.

He said that people think we're the only people in that live in this universe, then something is wrong with them. I would pay any amount of money to watch that conversation, to watch Barack Obama be like Jaden like just the wheel started in his side of like, okay, how do I deal with this? All right? Man? How am I going to tell Will Smith's son to shut the funk up?

And moved down the line. Do you know? Yeah, I didn't have a meeting with Jaden's making it seem like they had to sit down like a big long conversation. You met him one time in a fucking greeting, like you said, just moving down the line, and Jaden made a point of gripping his hand and being like what's up on them? Estro? Directorials andros like, oh fuck, Michelle, he's asking me about I can't confirm, ja, thank you for your service in pursuit of happiness. I don't know

what you do. I do think. UM. A very funny presidential thing to me is they love like George Bush did it, um Joe Biden has done it the wink of like, I don't know our aliens real. I think that's like a fun president bit that they like to do. And the only cool thing Donald Trump has ever done in his entire life is when it was his time to like do that fun man and it didn't even get that much newscovers because he says so many crazy things,

and I was like, that's the first cool thing. He's definite. Well, he's also like not a motherfucker that knows how to wake you know what I mean, Like the wink is meant to be like we're playing a cute game. We know how to be coy. He's a rapist, so he don't know how to be coy. He just goes for it the way that like you know, you were taught not to do. So when they go our aliens really goes yes, yes, well that let me stay in this house.

Yes they're real. Am I in charge? Again? It's like, shut the funk up, Donnie, we know they're real that. I don't know if you saw that recent report about the Israeli UH intelligence person who basically came forward and said that there's an entire galactic federation that exists, that

has basically left the United States. It made the United States and Israel for some reason aware of its existence, but left Earth out of its conversation because humans are not ready to uh to deal in alien talk quite yet. I don't know what if you're not from the United States or Israel, I don't know why they would be at the center of this discourse. Like I don't know what's so much more special about those two countries like

Kenya and Japan. That's the thing countries. If I had to really go down the list, if I'm an alien and really think about who was going to be able to handle the information the best and truly get to the core of what we need. I'm going to Japan. These motherfucker's have already been tinkering around in in alien ship. Not fucking going to the United States. You guys, yell at each other because we're falling apart. The motherfuckers can't even get from Ain't no fucking way am I starting it.

They have high speed trains. We we don't even we overcharge for Amtrak. We're not doing the same ship. You know what I mean? You know how quickly South Korea handled the coronavirus. They nailed it. They know how to handle New Zealand. I'm going to New Zealand where they literally have announced the coronavirus no longer exists on their entire country. It's like, yeah, I'm going there, Ashley. This was this was the delight. I had a great time.

Could you glad that we're getting the word out. Yeah, we're getting the word out. I don't know what word we're getting out, but we're getting a word out on this all alien thing. Uh. Could you tell the people at home what you have going on? Where they can find you on the internets all that stuff. Yeah, working on the next season of Black Lady Sketch Show now, and people can find me on Twitter. I'm Ashley in one CEO Ellie. I was a late adopter. I did

not get a good US name. I apologize. Um, I'm not if you see into in three any of the other other numbers, those are scams. I'm in one. Well, congratulations on being Uh on being scammed. You got the if you got copy accounts, you're doing great, famous, famous, beautiful. All right, Well yeah follow her, go watch a Black Lady Sketch Show. And as always, you can follow me

at Lankston Kerman and you please. If you have drops, if you have theories, if you have bullshit that you would like to send us, you can send it to my Mama pod at gmail dot com. And I would love to hear from you. And that's all I gotta say, So leave me alone. Goodbye, Chips in your quality bears, racists. Money can't tell me