We Got Dem Dawgs in Us (with Katrina Davis)

It feels like a flex though it does not absolutely because I presume the richest motherfucker on the plane doesn't even give a ship about the champagne. Yeah, are like one second away from splashing it in your face.

Yes, they're like, I don't even like the way this tastes. I'll literally clean my shoes with this when you're hating.

Yes, that's terrible.

Drink take it every time, but yeah, I'm real sick afterwards.

I don't like it.

Doesn't chips in yourss, racist.

Money turning stuff.

I can't tell me, sweet Cara line. Boom bum bum, there it is. This, Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.

The podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy feriens.

And we finally worked to prove that Ron Harper is the greatest, most powerful stutterer of all time. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. Some of y'all are gonna say, Joe Biden, You're gonna come in here talking about Joe Biden's the greatest stutterer. No, Joe Biden's a coward who pushed away his stutter. He fought against it. Ron Harper kept his shit all the way into his fifties now sixties maybe, and he's like, no, I stutter. I believe in my shit. Joe Biden's a coward as far as I'm concerned.

Ron Harper, though, It's like, when like a hot person is crazy, he doesn't look like he's a stutter, you know, And I think he got away with just not talking that much.

Yeah, you know, he's country as hell. He don't.

Yeah, yeah, You're just like, oh, that guy's real cool. It's like I said, when a hot person's crazy and you're like, oh, I didn't even it.

Was so hot. You're like, I wasn't paying attention to Yeah, I didn't know. It's talking about cognitively saying stuff that was. That's not why I'm here.

Ron Harpper. Where does he go in All Time Bulls for you.

And All Time Bulls?

Yeah?

Damn? I mean because I know this is close to your from Yeah damn. That's tough because I really liked Ron Harper. I think my favorite it and some of this is like it's it's twenty twenty retrospective whatever kind of thing, right, Like I can't I can't pretend that I still respect Scottie Pippen, you know what I mean, like that that ship has sailed.

But always got Charles Oakley.

Charles Oakley, that that man ain't never gonna lose nothing for me.

You can him today.

But I would say Ron Harper is in the top ten probably Wow. Okay, Yeah, I think he's pretty high up there as far as I think anybody with like a signature weird thing is going to be pretty high on my list, even if they weren't like the best of the ten bulls that have played.

You know what I mean, right, right, right? That's fair.

Yeah, I don't know if our guest today is going to have any thoughts. Yeah where Ron Harper? Yeah, you didn't give me a lot back? You were like, yeah, that's fair anyway.

I don't have I don't, I don't, I mean, I don't. It's like Charles Oakley, bj Armstrong was up there for me. Whoa who was the one that used to hate and then because he was from another country. I think that's funny.

That who Lauri Markingen.

No no, no, no no. He was on the Dream Team, a white guy, remember, and he was supposed to be somebody.

Oh, Christian Lightner he.

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, foreign white guy. This is not good. This is not good. This is not good. This is not good. Bench.

No, yeah, we're not. We're not nailing it today.

No, he was. It's because you gave up on the jazz ship. Yeah.

If I would have just locked in on the Jazz then maybe we would have we would have all been on the right footing and this would be a more sensible episode.

Frankly, Yeah, that's okay. I believe our guests is going to turn it around, for.

I have a lot of faith and I if you're talking about Tony Kukoach, yeah, okay, Yeah, he wasn't on the Dream Team. He was on the opposition to the Dream Team.

That's right. But he had already they knew he was going to Chicago or something.

Yeah, and then Scotty and Jordan basically made a pack to like haze the fuck out of him because they were mad at him for losing to them in the Olympics. It's they're sick man.

Jordan was mad, and Scotty did what he was told.

Scotty shut his fucking mouth and finished finished the job.

Now you sound like Larca Pippin, who.

We would love to have on the podcast, Larsa, if you're out there, I'm scared of it. I don't even think she's at all black. But yeah, come on down, Larza Pippin. We'll make an exception for you and and all you've done for.

Some kind of a salsa type in someplace where they have good sauces. I think she's from.

I don't know. I'm scared to say no because I think there is some possibility that's just some Kardashian ship where you're like painted enough that I've given you benefit of the.

Doubt, rightine Zada Jones?

Yeah, and I don't. I don't want to give her that kind of credit. Oh, she's Lebanese and Syrian. It's pretty high up on the white skin. These people get away with being darker though, right, Yeah, they they're they're the people who claim like olive skin toned and all that. But but I think that region, Yeah, it felt hateful.

Yeah, that felt very racist.

I was it when I spit afterwards? Is that that really punctuated it? I think that they, similar to a lot of Middle East countries, have like a little bit of a range in their like skin tones. They can be both very white and like darker skinned. For sure, our guest today has been insanely patient through all of our nonsense, both our ineffectiveness with technology, our ineffectiveness with basic conversation. She sat through all.

Of it, and our ineffectiveness with jazz, the one true American art form.

And and boy, oh boy, does she deserve better than what's what's happening. And no, we can't promise that we'll get better as a group. But she is a very hilarious comedian. We're both so happy to have her. You've seen her on Comedy Central. You've seen, more importantly, her special Figuring It Out. It's on Amazon Prime and sometimes it's even in the skies. It's it's up on those sweet United flights. So if you if you want to see it, that's you gotta fly real shitty to do it.

Hello, thank you so much for me.

We're so happy you're here.

Can I just say one thing, by the way, just the last thing. If you fly United first class, they give you champagne off the rip, you got to ask for it. So and I'm a jump to guy.

See I with my special.

Yeah you want some of this.

I am rarely in the mood for just on the spot champagne. When I get on a plane and.

I yeah, and what and what level medallion number are you?

I I'm platinum, but I'm.

About about right. So that's why you ain't gonna get the diamond. You'nna get there.

I'm diamond rising.

It ain't like that, shap I will say.

When you walk by someone and they are already so settled that they're drinking out of a flute, You're like, Okay, it's amazingly I have somewhere I can aspire to be.

Katrina. Uh, you came to us with a conspiracy theory that truly couldn't have less to do with anything we've talked about up to this point. Good, I would go out of my way to try to figure out a way that these things have been connected. You said, my mama told me dogs form packs at night and attack people. Yes, tell us.

So.

I will get into probably other versions of this. But I grew up in Florida, and yeah, dogs and my parents. Well no, that's the thing is my parents both grew up in Baltimore. I was raised by very city dwelling people.

That's also the two places I was going to say, where are roving packs of dogs? He gave me two.

Places in Florida. I think people rescue them because I was told to stay away from stray dogs very aggressively when I was younger, because and I would be like, Mom, that dog's friendly, and she would say, no, they pack up at night and attack people.

Yeah, just like just like our olive skinned friends.

WHOA, I didn't say that one. You got to live with yourself.

Yeah, I don't have anything for that.

I was just kidd good luck sleeping brothers.

I think what I'm if I'm understanding correctly, though, you're saying that like you would see a stray dog on the street by itself right interact with this dog, and your mom would be like, oh, no, it has your scent, and a pack will form.

And like, stay away from all dogs because if you were like to be somewhere at like dusk and see one dog, a bunch of other dogs could come out, and now you're just running from a bunch of dogs, which late at night in Baltimore. She like, that's the thing,

I yeah, I believe.

Yeah. So if you're out at like two in the morning by yourself, you could maybe potentially get attacked by like a pack up street dogs.

So but if I'm hearing you correctly, this is almost like an instantaneous sort of like fusing as a pack. Like this is it. This is the Power Rangers turning into the Megazord.

It's like I always imagined it like city nature, like these like Oliver and Company, but meaner, like they're just a bunch of different kinds of dogs that had to you know, come together. But I think in my mom's head they're like West Side storying, Like you hear one and then all of a sudden they come out from both alleys and now you're just being chased by like pack of dogs, by.

A bunch of Puerto Ricans. It is what the movie is about.

I believe they're fighting uh vague whites. What are they irish?

In that movie?

I don't know they're they're just general poors.

Yeah, it's poors.

Yeah. The Puerto Ricans they're very specific. The whites they are a little more like it. We're a little bit of everybody.

There we go. That's why we can't tell because it's people that aren't Puerto Rican playing Puerto Ricans. Yeah, the lines are really blurred apparently.

Yeah. But so these dogs will attack at night. How much when when your mom tells you this, are you bought into this conspiracy? How much do you go?

Fuck?

Yeah, you're right, mom, I'll kill a dog if I come across it.

Well, that's I was constantly reminded of this because I like dogs. So I grew up in Florida, where you're just treat you treat animals differently culturally, like you aren't afraid. No, Like I grew up around like we have animal people come to school and teach you about exotic animals. Like I held the head of a boat a bowl constrictor in like third grade. Like I had a totally different relationship with animals than my parents did in general, So they're more afraid of animals than I am. And so

As a as a kid who similarly liked saving animals, like I was.

One of those.

I loved. I loved finding a dog on the street and being like, I'll help you, buddy, I'll get you the safety little guy. And as as one of those motherfuckers, I gotta say, a three legged dog you found the diamond in the room that in my head I would have been like, I.

It was hot, it was so.

Are you?

I felt like she really needed me. It was so hot outside, and I was aggressively reprimanded for it, but because I think my dad, I remember my dad. Do you ever have a parent yell at you like you can tell they're also afraid, like he was. He wasn't using his full like I'm mad because you did something that I'm like disappointed in. He was like, you can't do that. They don't fight you, like he was so afraid for me.

He was telling you how the world is no as and I hate to be dark skinned king animal hater, but here we go. That's insane, don't you fucking I'm also I'm with your dad. Don't you touch a random disease as dog? What are you doing outside?

Like you can tell when they're like before you get that, oh, I love that. He was already doing it back of the.

Hand love if they if they back up, you're.

Like, Hi, that's fine, Yeah, I don't I'm.

Not wrestling these motherfuckers to the ground. Stage.

What if it bites the back of your hand then what? No, you don't get that close man?

You Wow, they'll like growl, they tell you, yeah, they'll let you know.

There are dogs where you walk. Kind of towards them and they just run full speed and it's like, well, I'm not going to chase it, rogers, He's going to be a good guy.

They're more afraid of you than you.

Guys are insane.

If a dog is all I can tell chasing you like that dog has been trained, Like when dogs get out and chase kids and stuff.

That's exactly what I was going to talk about. I can tell neither of you've gotten chased by a dog.

Oh no, we've been chased by dogs.

And you still and you still put your hands up.

Yeah, this.

Is how much they don't care about kids versus animals. In Florida, we had a family that had two trained Doberman's like back up to a playground, like we had a main playground. Also, my school was poor. It's fine. We had a main playground and then if you wanted more playground, you could cross like the school drive and there was like a little bit more grass. But you also had to deal with two giant Doberman's behind a

They didn't make them shoot that dog.

They just made us have less playground.

So that's crazy that they didn't kill that dog.

No, it was a big deal, but like they we didn't win by any means bette kid in the face because it was just like eye level with a giant Doberman.

I don't know if you guys have seen, but there's a video that's been going viral, I think on TikTok lately about a family whose dog bit the shit out of like their toddler. Like the baby can't be more than like three or four, and like mauled the child in the face, nearly killed her, and they are still

You're just gonna for your kid to sleep in the same house.

He's gotta go back. You gotta go back every day. If I was that little girl, I would kill that dog.

That's what I was gonna say. What the dog?

I would kill that dog dead.

And and that's what's crazy is now your child is gonna have a body because you know what I mean, your child. Nah, your child has seen light leave a creature's eyes and she's just got to go be a person.

I want everybody to know it doesn't count if you kill a dog.

Hey, that counts so much.

That's like, yeah, doesn't more than kill a person.

It do for me in a second.

I also want to say I've never killed a dog.

I want that there's gotta be some kind of graph of like age and killing a dog, like I can understand, like Michael Vick killing a dog maybe not reading the same as like if he was eight and did the same thing, we'd be like, no, that's not okay. He's definitely about to go.

No, if Michael Vick was doing that ship when he was younger, I presume no hope for him.

Well, those are the kids you gotta watch out for.

Yes, now it's a warning sign.

That's what I'm saying. So if this girl gets a body on account of this dog. She's still gotta go be a person. She's not gonna behave do you know what I mean? At the very least, that's gonna be a mischievous ass person.

She's triumphed over evil. Like, what are you gonna tell me to do? I've killed my competitors. Someone bit my face and I killed them. You want me to go to what? Bet?

This like?

Reverse john Wick?

Yeah?

Yeah, has attacked by a dog and now she has to live with the dog and get vengeance.

Shut the dad? How about I do you like I did that dog?

Now she's showing up places in a dark suit and attitude, and it's like what happened? She's smoking cigarettes over she killed that dog. She's hanging out with Larry Fishburn.

Oh man, I don't want to. I don't want to kill a dog.

Don't kill a dog. You gotta don't.

I'm not trying to kill anything.

Let me ask you this last question before we go to break. So you remain a dog lover or do you? Are you a proud dog owner? Now? Do you do you have dogs?

I have a cat. I still like dogs a lot, but I'm very practical about them as an owner. I've read in Florida also rescued a lot of dogs as an adult, like I've got foster them and like find like I've been on the way to work open my car door, like seeing a dog open my car door and been like, where's your mom? And had it jump in my car and been like great, now I got to take care of this dog.

Yeah, I haven't done it in adulthood. I'll be honest with you.

You have people who care about you. That's a that's crazy behavior, Like this dog in the car.

What I've a few times after attempted to help in adulthood, but I've never had them in my car. That's that's a step that I if I.

Wouldn't do it for a person, I wouldn't do it for a goddamn dog.

Oh but see I've done it for a person too, and it was scarier.

WHOA, that's crazy.

I don't do that any more.

Florida.

Oh man, you got to get that Florida about you.

It's an artist community.

What city are you from, jack Woittville? And oh no, I don't know. If you get to call Jacksonville an artist community, I.

Wouldn't call flow d an artist.

I think that's.

No go right is Miami, dude. I grew up in Orange Park, but when I came back after college, I lived in Jacksonville in Riverside, which is like where all the stand up and music and yeah walking.

That's where Kat Williams's most infamous twenty minutes of stand up comes from is making fun of your hometown.

I mean making fun of it by just naming streets until people respond.

Like that's a shitty street.

And people just being like we agree.

Yeah.

He's like, you know, we're all of the nasty bitchy.

And they're like and they're like, yeah, we.

Aint Doug Street.

Oh my god. That hit though. Here's the thing slow ast Wendy's does make me laugh.

Yeah.

No, there's a shout out to Colfax Avenue.

All Right, we're gonna take a break. We'll be back with Markeatry and David's and more.

My mama told me, welcome back to My mama told me, I do want to take this time out to say I am sorry to the Wendy's on Colfax. I know you guys are just it gets swamped in there, and with gentrification, it's more crowded than it's ever been. That's seven eleven is super active across. I understand you guys got stuff going on. I'm still gonna pop it after my haircut tomorrow get six by sees on my walk home door.

But yes, that's so delicious.

I think you something tells me overbreak you were sitting there worried that you were going to show up and your picture was going to be in the window. Yeah, like, no, not allowed.

It's my home Wendy's. You know what I mean, Like you're your home club. It's my home Wendy's.

No, And I imagine similar to like your home club. You you see the flaws, but you also know why it's important.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well you know they've they've seen me since I was an open micer, you know what I mean. So I got a sad side headshot behind the counter.

It's like your dry cleaner.

They're like, this says it says bring back the baked potato.

Oh my gosh, that's what I was going to say. My home Wendy's in LA that I used to go to after I ran a mic late night, was where I went the first time I realized that they discontinued the spicy nuggets when they got rid of them, and I yelled in a grown woman's face because I was like, you let me get a spicy and she was like, we don't have them anymore? And I wait, what like full volume? And she just went I know, like that was all she was getting all day. It was like she was like a.

Parano that it's regional. Really we still got them at.

Oh, like you well, we got them back, but they never left.

I don't. I think I was in LA for some of this time.

I was gonna say, I think I remember them going away, Yeah, for a few years because it was an issue, and I think, yeah, I just don't get it, because like they had that that market corner.

How are they never not doing well enough?

Yeah?

I think they messed up with something with a spice distributor. I think they couldn't get their hands on it and then they got it back together.

What I think, because this happened with me for a medical device, I think that the spice distributor probably the spice maker, ran foul of the FDA shut it down. Then they can't get.

It dirty spice. Yeah, they had to get rid of a bunch of nuggets and somebody was like they're okay, and they were like, knock them out of her hands.

They dropped them off, They dropped them off the Peter Long Beach. It was their version of the Boston tee Party.

What did we find out that that this whole time that ice spice is just connected to the big spice racket that that blossom Wendy's and that is where her success comes from. It's oh, she's just a baby literally.

Like a fortune.

Yeah, and specifically the spice that they use for Wendy's hence the red hairy. She's thick. You know, Wendy was thick under there. I have to believe that.

Was really Yeah.

Oh I even know there's a real we've seen her. Yeah.

She after Dave Thomas died, she started popping up.

Speaking of stutter. She also had a speech impediment. That's why Wendy because she is, yes, your name, her name's like uh like it's a shortened version of her name, and she couldn't say a version of it and it's Wendy.

Hold on, whoa She's like Wendolina And he.

Was like, she couldn't say Melinda, And so they need, They would call.

Her, Wow, this is crazy fuck here first, folks, this is big thick ass Melinda is.

Her hair is gorgeous. I have an affinity for redheaded people. She has nice hair.

I don't.

All right, Katrina, I I did some research on your conspiracy theory that I would love to unpack with you. I think that just will jump in apparent lee and I'll start this way. Apparently there is some truth to this conspiracy, that that this is not completely unfounded. Stray dogs will form small packs if their population is dense enough and their circumstances warranted, so without enough food or resources, but with a heavy enough dog population, they will sometimes

That was the third city. I would have guessed by the Moscow it would have been like all of Florida, Baltimore, and Moscow.

Moscow. They're they're truly riding the trains in Moscow and like know which stops to get off of, Like these stray packs of dogs. I hate that.

It was somewhere else in Europe that they learned they can keep track of at least a week time because they would come back to certain cemeteries every Sunday because it's customary for them to leave meals for their dead on Sunday, and they tracked them and packs of like animals and dogs would go back and they would be like, oh, it's Sunday, and they would go back to the cemetery because they knew there was going to be a bunch of food out, but they would only see them going

The dogs being like, say, we've been about two miles from where you drop me off.

Actually, could you just drop me off here? I know a house nearby?

And then you go so a payphone is like, we fucking got it.

Wait, like, so do you have a dog?

We didn't know because my wife, similar to you, hates dogs.

I didn't say I hate dogs.

She just, like you, has no affection for anything that is living and breathing that isn't human and providing immediate comfort to her.

So okay, now, I feel like you're giving your wife and I. First of all, First of all, you're not better than me because you like animals. I just I don't dislike animals. I think they don't give a fuck about us either.

That's fair, but I think some of them do after a while when we.

Make them, after we y the families homes.

I was about to say, can you appreciate them for even caring about each other? Because there are some that I don't care if they don't care about us. But I still respect that they have like their own set of stuff.

I respect that they pack up and attack people at night or like people. I respect that. I think they're doing for self, and I think that's great.

And so you can't even be like, oh, elephants more than their dead.

I like that. I just don't think we got to be all in their business.

Okay, okay, if I had a choice. Right now, I think I don't necessarily agree with like dog ownership to some extents, right Like, as a as a person growing up, I was like, oh, I love dogs, we had dogs. I loved having a fucking pet. Now I have mixed feelings on it. I don't necessarily know that we need to be like saying ownership over. Like these giant fucking dogs that can clearly fend for themselves if we let them be themselves.

The only ones that can't. We've, like you know, bread to be dependent.

Made them their cousins so they were little enough to live in.

But that said, they do exist.

I respect cats.

I respect cats, sure, but breeding a side, they exist. We can't just then be like, well you shouldn't.

Be away with that.

Good luck, motherfucker nature.

Baby. Let the hawk set.

A pug exists, So I'm gonna fucking hang out with a pug.

But wait, that would be wild if we did. Kind of because I agree with all of this because cats still have like ninety six percent of their tiger DNA, and dogs have been Yeah, dominic, you.

Know what that is. They got tiger blood. They're on that.

Like, my cat's definitely here because he wants to be here. Like every day I open the door, I'm like, yo, you want out, and he's like, nah, I hate it no, because.

He's got a good he's got a bad situation inside, and he can be ambivalent towards you. So my only tyree shout out to Tyree. He worked for Animal control. And he was telling me this, right, if you die, dogs will damn near starve before they eat any of you. The cats will eat you tomorrow.

Oh yeah, they don't give me like fuck yeah, but I mean I respect that and I love him. Well, here's it. I'm an organ donor. Anyway, if I'm dead.

You're talking about you're talking about giving a little a little boy on dialysis and kidney versus like this greedy ass cat.

You know, he's not too small. He'll just have my eyes. People can have the important parts.

My man said, this is this is gruesome.

I'm ready.

So you know, my man said, somebody hung himself and they came in there a little bit later, and the cats are just they just started at the bottom or were eating up his legs.

Oh wow, whatever. A bunch of like two meth heads left their kid alone in a pimple nibbled off their kids baby toes. And he wasn't even being mean like that other piple he or that other dog. He was just like he was just like nibbling and accidentally bit off all of it.

Yeah, but that's what.

Barbecue sace shoes on.

Yeah, that kid was covered in.

Butter so it's just ask baby shoes.

Pay dogs like that. I think we're not supposed to own them, these piles and fucking German shepherds and shiit that that's meant to be nature. But I do think part of the reason we don't let them free is because there's so many of them now that we're not even sure we could.

Handle it well. To your point about letting them out, even the ones that can survive on their own, Like if you let out all the pugs, eventually most of them would die from just like not being able to catch their breath up a hill. But then would we have like whatever survived some like banging ass pug that's like stocky as hell, but like developed a little bit more of a snout again, and we just have all these crazy ass like bab.

Yeah it's pugs doing doing fucking quick feet through tires and ship.

That's the word. That's what I'm worried about. That's why that's why I don't trust these things, is because they need to just gain a little bit of foothold physically, and you don't think they're gonna try to take it back.

We ruined them, like like the little lizards in Jurassic Park, where like you just need the numbers.

Yeah, I bet one of them would learn to grow them flaps and spit and yeah, now it's a rap. You got a little acid ship soush, you know, running around and ship deal with.

The bow saying, that's what I'm saying. It's a rap. It's let these dogs, I'm telling you, Let these dogs get a foothold. See what happens.

Additionally, I will say that, uh that the attacks, the supposed attacks that your mother and father were so afraid of, are far less common than your conspiracy would suggest. According two statistics, dog bite related fatalities although you USU will accounted for three hundred and four deaths in the United States between nineteen seventy nine and nineteen ninety six. So when a twenty year span, three hundred and four.

Blacks died, that's that's fatalities. How many lips got ripped off?

Sure a lot. I imagine a lot.

Of the main people.

Yeah that happened. That happened. A kid on my block, his dog ripped his lip off and they had to air, they had to fight for life.

Who did he get them lips back?

He had like a scar on they put that dog down though, for sure?

Oh yeah, I mean no.

You can't. He bet a kid's face off, a kid, a kid who was thrilled. That's right, one kid.

And then if you buy another name, thank you.

Here's your problem is you hate children?

Oh no, I don't.

I bite the child's lips off. Oh trouble, and they go, we have to kill you. I go, that makes sense. I was bugging in a way that I can't keep going in this motherfucker. I'm not making an exception.

I mean, you can make that dog not have to be anywhere near a school.

That dog is a menace. He's got it in them. It's not like that kid was trying to rob him and the dog blacked out and felt like exprushured for his life, you know what I'm saying.

How now, if those were unwanted kisses, I think in twenty twenty three, we have to respect that the dog. The dog, which.

Happens a lot with kids being unattended with dogs and just not knowing of their own tiny child volition that they're very quol.

The dog doesn't a child, doesn't it. I never seen a dog. I seen puppies run all over dog's faces, put their little stinky goochas in the mouths. Nothing ever happened. I never seen a dog by the puppy, but it bought bit a kid. Come on, man, it knows the difference between a child and.

Because also wait, was it a puppy or were a dog like an adult dog that had already been trained and possibly had.

I granted, I don't watch dog fights, that's true. I've never seen a dog fuck up a dog like I've seen a dog.

Oh, because I'll say this, I got bit by a dog, my friend's dog that I knew super well, could not for years, like, went up and I was like, hey, what's up pet Like went to go pet him, and he turned around and bit my hand. And for years we could not figure out why. And then one day she just called me, was like, hey, we just figured out Barfie's death. And I was like, oh, that's why he bit me Because I came from I thought he

You know what the craziest part of that story is the dog's name is bar I know.

I love Barkie forever my friend named him.

When she was bitt here, you got besmirched by a dog named Barfi.

Yeah, Barfi, let me know what was up. Barfie gave me the business.

No, this is like you're giving these dogs too many chances. You're saying so far today you've said no dog could bite the kid a couple of times.

Not the same kid, Like I don't agree.

With, right, not the same kid. That's even crazy.

That is crazy that a dog would hurt a child and you would keep it in the same house because clearly that dog.

I actually think and I will say that if your dog only bites one kid over and over again, I blame that kid. I'm gonna start being like something, ain't writing that kid.

Yeah, that kid doesn't know how to doesn't know what no means to a dog.

Yeah something, you're doing something weird to this dog, and fuck you kid. That dog ain't doing that to nobody else. Yeah you did something.

I like you guys, but you're crazy.

I mean, I understand what you're saying, David, because I also don't. I don't know if I'll ever own a dog. I feel like I like them, the idea of them living their lives outside right.

So what I will say is that while three hundred and four deaths in the United States between those twenty years, within that twenty year span, that is it is, they said far less smaller number for actual pack attacks, that those are individual dogs who do some wild shit like

Yeah, okay, so three hundred and seven deaths, how many times did they run people's pockets? Why do you check those stats?

That they're less clear about that. They don't say the numbers.

Yeah, how many Puerto Rican gang wars did they survive in that time? That one got? I know, I know, I know, I know, I know it. Sometimes the good nuts I'm like a dog though. It's the dog that is what it is.

That's exactly what it is.

The last little piece of information that I'll share with you that that I did look up how often we were seeing these potential stray dogs tacks, and apparently there are countless, and legitimately I mean countless recorded attacks by packs of dogs on humans, including old women and small children, many of whom were either killed or severely injured.

That's your friend, right, that's your friend, right right.

Just one he was by himself. No, I would have been like, they got each other. I drove around them. They're fine.

There's a ton of pack attacks. And then additionally, there is some evidence that that stray dogs attack more frequently at night, as they spend big portions of the day sort of resting and lazing, and then at night tend to be more active hunting.

Because what my mom said, that's what I'm hearing.

What I'm here and here is this wasn't even like a folklore. This was just good sense that your parents had about the evil, down and dirty nature of dogs.

I don't agree.

I think that you said countess attacks, but packs at night that came.

Over a lot of what I was reading was coming from places like Baltimore and Florida and Cleveland and.

Capital of the world, and they don't even pack up it. I feel like I see I feel like it's more of a city thing than a rural thing, or maybe we have packed.

Where do you guys live, because I live in the motherfucking city, I'm saying, which I never.

See dogs, right, I never see dogs in LA because everyone because people, there's women out here trying to rescue coyotes off the highway. There will never be enough stray dogs in LA that are saved.

Coyotes are a varmit and need to be put down. And that's maybe because I'm from the high plains.

Of Colorado, but that's it feels like you've had direct interactions with coyota.

He used to try to fight my dog, which you didn't love. No, I liked him. I just felt like I shouldn't have been in this business like that.

I liked him.

I don't like it.

It's not even like this as far. But you do talk about a dog like it's a roommate, which I get. You're like, I like it because I respected him.

I respected him. I didn't fantalize him and make him this cute thing. I couldn't bite a child.

What was your dog's name?

Don't worry about it. I don't like to talk about him. Oh no, his name was from most movies.

Yeah, you really respected that guy, You really treated him like an equal member of society. Naming him after a fucking hobbit.

He can't be an equal member of society. He didn't put in on this. He's a dog. That's that's all.

I'm saying.

He wanted to get to vote Langston, he didn't. He offered anything up to the family. He wasn't given prized apple pie recipes. He was a fucking dog. He should inside sometime.

And I'm saying that if you respected him more, maybe he could someday. Maybe we could get him to vote someday, if you would just listen to some of the stuff he had.

Going on, if you just would have been open to what Frodo had to bring to the table.

But you're you're a biggot.

This is what whoa? Whoa whoa? Because I don't want to let an animal bite a child's face.

No, because you think they're Puerto Rican.

Yeah, boys, boy, I was just making Puerto Rican jokes aside because we had talked about West Side Story. I do not think dogs are Puerto Rican. I think they come from all kinds of lands and islands.

You're you're the mob yelling at those black children as they integrated schools. Babe, that's I think I might.

Be gaslighting me. I think this is a bad tender day right now.

Oh, you're not wrong, You're not wrong.

Da I think this. I think this is unresolvable between certainly between the hosts of this show. But I do think at the core of it, it sounds like your your mom and dad did have at least some legitimacy and worrying about the possibility of animals packing up. But probably we're over exaggerating the frequency.

And I hate that you could out of your mouth say countless attacks and then say her parents were over exaggerating when you know she's from the capital pack country. This is this is dog slander, bro, This is like you had special interests like this, Like is this propaganda?

Katrina, get out there, get out there and start kissing some loose dogs in the mouth. Let's yeah, I know, let's not let fear dictate the closeness you feel for your inn.

I think you can all have respectable lines that don't involve having a dog lick your actual but you know, I do think that you can respect them as animals, Like uh, I think again it's different in LA, but in Florida you really do like rescue animals and it's too hot outside and they're sick, and they have maine and stuff, and you can like have relationships with humane societies and stuff. I've had like traps where I like trap and release and fixed cats and stuff, so they

That's very responsible.

But yeah, but my parents don't have any of that, so they were like f all these dogs, which I call also, well, just.

Don't tell them what you're doing and get back out there and say those animals, Katrina, could you tell the people where they could find you and what cool shit you have going on?

Sure you can follow follow me at Katrina Savad it's s I V A. D. It's just Davis backwards on all the stuff that you find people on. And if you live in La, I do jokes and shows around here all the time.

So yeah, she is very funny.

Yeah, Bory you want, you want to talk to the people.

You can email me at fuckdmdogs dot com about d A W. G z uh No Man Instagram, Cool guy Junks eighty seven. I put all my shows up there, working on some good stuff for you. Write new jokes, watch Royal Crackers on HBO.

Yeah it's thank you.

No dogs are in it, and uh, you know, be kind to your olive skin neighbors.

Yay wow.

As always, you can follow me at Langston Herman on Instagram, and if you want to see me live, you can check me out at the Comedy Attic April twenty eighth and twenty ninth. May fifth, I'll be at the Atlanta Comedy Theater, and then May twelfth and thirteenth I'm gonna be in Las Vegas the wise guys. So if you want to come see me, tell them a little jokes.

One point three five came. That's okay for now.

We don't need you to rush to two thousand and make our lives difficult. But but I'm glad you like to watch it. It's crazy that they would just they just watch us stuff. Yeah, it's cool, it's very cool. Uh, and we appreciate it and tell more people to come be weirdos and watch us.

I gotta get some more hats or something.

Yeah, you think that's what's missing.

I think we gotta like if they're gonna be watching, we're gonna be watching. We gotta like we gotta go crazy sometimes.

Yeah, Okay, I'm gonna get a monocle. I'm gonna I'm gonna do some on top half.

Yeah, damn, I'm gonna get a noserip. Nope, I said it. I immediately pulled the.

Come on, dog, you did this at thirty five. That's not a good sign.

It's not a bad one.

But but please follow us or subscribe, and as always, if you want to send us your drops, your conspiracy theories, if you want to tell us why David should go to hell for not liking the dogs, then please send that to my mama pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you. That's that's about it. By bitch.

Chips and your.

KALs, racists, money stuff, I can't tell me

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