I think if I was in a dress, I think it would be a it would be a body positivity past.
Yeah, I could see that.
I'm sure.
They're like, move over, Lizzo, here's a new star in time.
There's a man doing it. Now.
You want to see some butt sheets that need to be out?
Yea a rhythmic clapping?
Yeah?
Jump the kidding.
Your racists money stuff I can't tell me.
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to another brand new episode of My Mama Told.
Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.
And we were to prove that the k Y and k Y jelly does in fact stand for Kentucky and it is a proprietary blend invented by slaves. We want our money back. Wait.
So if I'm understanding correctly, because boy, what an exciting journey we're on. You're saying that these slaves thought to use the chicken grease to fuck each other.
Okay, you said chicken grease.
Well you said Kentucky. I immediately went to Kentucky Fried Chicken. I thought you were making two branches happen at once.
No, I just meant I guess I meant that there were slaves in Kentucky.
I didn't hate, all right, all right, okay, no, but let's play. Let's play a game, alright. So in theory, there are slaves in Kentucky making sex grease there, I believe, is what it's traditionally called. They're making this sex grease. And you're saying that a slave owner an evil white, not like you good whites who listen to the podcast. Oh, you guys are the best whites, fine whites, some of my favorite whites. There's just people with with whites for
Langston who signs behind me? Where are my whites? Where are my crackers? But you're saying that these evil whites stole that formula, stole that sex grease formula, and then and then turned it into their own product.
Yes, hell yeah, Because I mean, what's the one place you would want to but chicken grease? Besides your mouth.
Come on, it's got to taste good down there a little bit, you know it's gonna.
Make it taste worse.
It's gotta help. Well, I'm Lenggston Cartman, I'm David Bory and and you've come, You've come so far, you've come to a fantastic new episode and and specifically it is an e Lenggston and David episode David and Langston and you pick your poison and and just someone where we just talk ship and unpack a few emails. Maybe just let's figure out where our hearts lie in all of this.
Let's get to the bottom of it. It's January, you know, New Year, New me.
Yeah, it's god damn January.
What are you are you? Are you like a a new year? Are you like a New Year's resolution person?
Uh? Not in a way that uh would create any real accountability, if that makes sense. Yeah, It's like I make some resolutions in my head where I'm like, hell, yeah, come on, dog, you could get in shape this year. Hey, big man, let's just let's just in sugar always forever in your life what you need to And then sugar.
Shit is fucking killing me. It's really so bad for you, sugar. For me, it's alcohol where I realized I'm like thirty five, and I'm like, oh, nothing new is gonna happen if I get drunk, so I should probably get it.
Yeah. I think that's why weed started to like become a thing in my life. Was like, damn, these drunk knights are starting to repeat themselves in a way that that it's not even joyful anymore.
No, there's nothing new and there's nothing new. You're just getting door dash.
Late, like yeah, and then you get married and and that becomes so much of like a this is a guaranteed ending to your night that it's like.
You can't even go out and get loose because it's like you got to go home right.
I couldn't even possibly wake up somewhere I didn't expect like it. Truly, it is a non factor in my life, and I'm grateful to have a person that makes that a non factor. This is in no way resentful of my wife. But that said, fuck am I doing this for?
You know what I mean?
Like, you've stolen a joy that I can't get back.
What's that a joy?
Did you?
Like, like waking up scared that you got robbed? Maybe?
I I think there was a joy in the way that it feels like going through a haunted house, you know what I mean?
That's right?
Well, yeah, I think, But then you volunteer for that fear and you're like, oh, I signed up for this.
I guess it's exciting because I'm single as hell. It's I guess it's exciting.
Are you still waking up places you didn't know? Are you?
Like?
You know, I've been thinking about it because I did a drinking contest last night. I did a drinking contest live show, and I haven't really been drinking like that for a while. And I woke up today with no memory of how the night ended. And I woke up and I came I came into the kitchen, man, and there was I fried up spam. Oh no, And it's like, bro, what is this? What is this? Isn't even that couldn't have been a good time?
Yeah, come on, man, that's not even the best thing you could have fried.
Not even I have a fridge food of food. I have leafy greens in that. I don't even know where I got the spam.
That's crazy. So you didn't just have spam on hand?
I assume I mustard.
Oh man, that's that's haunting in either direction.
That's what I'm saying, like, like, this is a.
New apartment for you, You don't you don't have to have spam. No, I know you have a good amount of money. Spam is a choice you're making. And then on top of that, if it isn't a choice you're making, if you didn't already have the spam, you were like, I need fucking spam in my blood right now, And then you went and got that.
Yeah it's I live above a seven to eleven. So I think that was the last one because I remember coming home. Yeah. Then what I'm saying is you don't want these problems spam.
Yeah, yeah, I hear you. I hear you, and I sort of believe you, and uh and I couldn't be more grateful for what I have and couldn't be more uh mournful for what I've lost, you know what I mean?
Like, Yeah, I get it. I get because it's always like, you know, hindsight is twenty twenty, right. It looks beautiful in the rear view, these exciting days waking up. Did I eat spam? Did I not? Who's this lady?
Hell?
Yeah?
Come on, man? The best We all love the finale episode where they start playing the recap of the stuff that happened all throughout the years. You know what I mean, When you look up in the sky and you remember all the things that happened in Martin's apartment before he leaves come on. That's that's the best part of the finale.
That was the saddest one was that the one where he wrote I'll miss you on the wall.
I think he wrote love or like peace and love. It was something like more like uh whatever, but maybe it was I'll miss you. But either way, it was definitely he wrote on the wall, which I think was improvised.
I have to assume was more. I don't think Martin was heavily scripted. I'm gonna I'm going on record right now. I think they had the plot points of every episode and then they just kind of like point and shoot.
I don't I will say I cannot think of a sitcom where you can physically visibly see people breaking more often than Martin.
Like, nobody was funnier than Martin in the dress.
They could not keep it together to save their lives, and they were constantly fucking laughing at whatever this motherfucker was doing.
He was so funny. He did everything wid I here's what I say. I don't think Dave Chappelle would be funny in a dress as funny as Martin. Whoa I said it.
I don't think you got whoa. Okay, So you're saying that Chappelle denying the dress like being like black men in dress. This is the evil that they put on us. Was less about him like trying to save black men and more about him basically being like, fuck that niggas so much funnier than me in a dress. I'm gonna sabotage the the bit entirely.
Have you ever seen nu Professor is the funniest thing in the world.
I truly I I I mean, but that was that Hee, That wasn't Martin, you know what I'm saying.
But I'm saying like that there's a long line.
Of people really that even in the line of succession, Martin is ahead of him. But Martin may not even be the master of that right that space, whereas stand up Chappelle has a real chance of out shining both of them, all of them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was better at writing jokes for sure. Wow, we're talking about just like nitty gritty getting to a dress and make it happen. Bro. I saw I saw the Nutting Professor in a movie theater in Atlanta, and it was like, I've never seen anything that happened like that in my life. Sure, because you you remember the movie, but you don't remember the first time at the table with a movie theater full of black people. People were throwing like drinks at no. Yeah you it was.
You literally went to Mecca to pray. You know what I mean like that is it.
Was nobody's ever killed his art. I love Dave Chappelle. He's never done anything as funny as Eddie Murphy did in that movie Theater.
I listen, I'm not I don't disagree with this premise at all. I don't to me. When David was at his funniest as certainly as an actor, and we might be able to debate even as a stand up, was when he was gangly sort of like silly Chappelle in his youth as an actor, when he was like more of like a you kick me in the dick and
I fall down Chappelle. And then at some point he elevated beyond being just a get kicked in the dick guy and more of like a buff dude and then a fat dude, and then whatever's in between those two.
Yeah, he's a DayWalker for sure.
Yeah, and he wears the long coats to match the aesthetic.
He wears weird clothes, but there's a stand up thing.
Yeah, I think I still respect a stand up who's a bad dresser, So I'm not Yeah. Yeah, if you're a stand up and you're a bad dresser, you work hard at the craft and I like that.
Yeah, keep on. I'm not a great dresser. I get it. I get it. I'm just saying, yeah, man, it's like not a you can't just put a suit. You can just put a dress on and be funny. There's like.
If I put on a dress, I don't think it's that funny.
I mean you'd be for you could be. You know. What I would worry about you in a dress is that it would be taken too seriously.
That's and that's what I'm saying. I don't think I would end up being as funny as as I would want it to be.
Like you and a sun dress would just be like a fashion choice.
I think somebody would write a think piece. I think I would make a whole episode.
On me wearing a dress or a show.
And then somebody would write a think piece about how important that work and effort was and how it was dress. Yes, like, and this is related to the relationship between black and Asian people coming together. It's like, bro, I just wanted you to see my dick print in a sun dress. What are you talking about?
Yeah, your body is too serious for dresses. Yeah, and that's that's that's you know, across you up to bear.
Yeah, No, I think I think it's uh, it's a everybody ain't funny in address to your point, And so I think Chappelle in a dress, wasn't it? They could really do it? And I do think to the grander conspiracy, I don't like the way Chappelle tanked that for for some motherfuckers that could really shine in dresses.
Some of the greatest comedy ever been done in dresses.
Yeah, man, we we really fell in love with comedy because of niggas interresses. And then this old, old, fucking why Wise motherfucker was like, I wonder if that is because of racism. It's like, of course it is, David, you.
Should read the things I text my mom.
All of it's because of racism. But what parts of it are funny and not funny? Let's yes, there's a core of it.
That's all I care about. Put that dress on. But there's a young Canadian listening to this God, put that dress.
Slip on that red dress and some high he do it.
For those of us who can't, come on, man, hashtag, put that dress on.
Put that hashtag. Put that dress on. This will blow up, right, this will turn into some sort of challenge. You're getting.
Put that dress on.
Put that dress on. Challenge brought to you by Ma. Mama told me. We we challenge you to be, to be a pioneer and and uh in black retraction and put that dress on.
Put that dress on, you, beautiful man.
Only if it's funny. Only if it's funny, or if that's who you are, It doesn't matter. We're truly not gonna decide. But for the funny people, put that dress on.
No buff, dudes, you gotta be soft buff.
Yeah, man, big old muscles pop out the dress.
That's not anybody's gonna focus on.
Should we should we do an emails?
Just oh yeah, let's do an email. I got I got I got lost in the dress of it all.
We we before we started, we were we were debating which email to take on. And we have a number. We've been getting a fuck ton of emails from you guys, and they've been amazing and We're super grateful for him. So please continue to send your messages. They are not going unnoticed, even if it takes a little while for us to get back to you. But we got an email from a person named Carly. Carly sent us an
email that I would argue is bordering on smut. I would say that, certainly the subject line of this of this conspiracy theory, I think is smut ish. If I'm not mistaken, I know you do, and so I didn't. I didn't want to say it with any judgment, but I did want to point out we're getting smut here. But the subject of the line is poop in the mouth conspiracy theory. And we all heard that and we were like, yeah, we should probably do. Do you have any as to what this this relates to?
Do you?
Does poop in the mouth conspiracy theory trigger anything for you?
Not? No, there's no conversations I've had or like, no, you're in that corner of the internet.
Yeah. The only thing, the only thing that it immediately triggered for me was thinking about like two girls, one cup and that fake I have no clue, And frankly, I never made it far enough into the video to be able to like go like, hey, those those poops don't match colors. Something ain't right here. Yeah, it looks very real, and I can't I can't go back to whatever that was even talking about it now, bad time. I want to vomit.
Yeah eight something like that.
Oh, seven eight something.
We didn't know what to do with the Internet yet.
No, And and frankly, if the fact that people didn't shut it down right then tells you that they did not have good plans for us.
No, No, it was unregular. It was the wild wild West back then.
Cause like, all right, not for nothing that that's some black market shit, right, Like I don't even know who made it, but that's what I'm saying. I think, like, for a while in the world that we understood, in the Windows ninety five world that we lived in, the presumption was that if you wanted to see two girls each shit out of a cuff you paid you, you had to go to like a black market dark web space.
And then at some point around two thousand and seven, the black market became the regular ass Internet where they were just like fuck it, release the you know what I mean, the archives, and then we just started going on YouTube seeing black market shit, you know what I mean.
Yeah, Yeah, that was like because it was like I've seen gross stuff since, but I had not seen anything grosser at the time.
Yeah, that it was that broke a seal for like, I would say eighty percent of us.
Yeah, because once now that you know that that's out there, you're like there.
I got and some of us had to know, and some of us were like, I'm good, I'm going to like join a church and turn in the opposite direction. And that fucking video, I would say holds holds a lot of weight in that responsibility.
Yeah, I would like to find them. I wonder if they know what they do. They had two girls, they know they know.
I guess that's weird for me to ask, as if you were I gotta find that cup? What you did?
They burned the cup.
Imagine the intern that had to wash out that cup after the mess that was made.
Where is that true crime documentary? They're fucking talking about everything else? Why don't we have a two girls, one cup video history. Yeah.
The fact that they haven't come forward and said like this was abuse, this, this was a violation tells you something something crazy you had to have had They had to have been murdered.
I think that they I don't know, maybe they're maybe they're proud of it.
Okay, but but great.
The word great is not a moral word. It's just a word for a size.
Yeah, I guess where I start to worry or worry wonder? I guess is something that popular? They couldn't have been paid that much, right, So it becomes that.
As much as it was seen, no.
So so why haven't we heard of any of them coming forward and being like, hey, we never saw enough money on what became truly a worldwide phenomenon. Dog, where are the two girls one Cup Girl?
Where they at? Where's the cameraman? Girls?
And specifically the two girls one cup girl? Dog? We gotta make the tea that's a perfect goddamn T shirt is bring Back our Girl hashtag bring back our Girls, And it's just the image of the two girls one cup ladies right beneath it.
Bro. You know what's crazy is they could walk into my apartment right now. I would not recognize them.
You wouldn't recognize them because they're not covered in poop. They were covered in poop. People.
I know you, Oh, I recognized you.
Wait, so why were we talk. We're talking about poop and mouth.
Yeah, the poop and mouth conspiracy. There is what what Carly sent us. Carly sent us this email and she said, Hey, Langston and David, I love your show. I've been talking shit to my husband forever, swearing I will email my own conspiracy and finally making it happen. So here we go. I am biracialal My black mom and her extended family are responsible for most of my upbringing. As kids, my cousins and I were always pushing to finish our plates at meal time, whether you liked what you would you
were being served or not. At some point us kids started this thing. We thought we were being slick. I just by just holding a big mouthful of food forever without swallowing, presumably in hopes that dinner would end at the and the adults would give up on making us finish our plates. When the adults caught onto this ruse, my mama told me that if we kept food in our mouths for too long, it will automatically turn to shit, like actual physical poop in your mouth. It was devious
and insanely effective. Where you at so far? Where what are your feelings? I'll finish the email. Let's let's gauge your immediate responses inside of this.
Listen, I'm not a doctor. Okay, here's what I got. Poop is made out of food.
That's rights as.
Far as I can go on. That's as far as I can do. I think that like if I just kept food in my mouth for a long time, it would turn the poop. No, I think it would smell bad.
Mmmm.
But do I think it would turn turn it in the same poop that comes out of my butt?
Do you think it would smell bad? Like poop bad or like just like like old oats and hot breath type bad? Like do you think it's.
It's like, have you ever like douse those little the tooth the dentax strips? Do you ever eat these things? I got them?
Oh yeah, those the things that people are are throwing on the street constantly for something.
Yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah. Sometimes I'll pull like a piece of steak or something out with one of these, and it smells pretty bad, and that SIT's just been in there for like twenty minutes, because like if I get a big one, you know, I'll sniff it and like yeah, so like extrapolate that over time. I think, I think that's something happened. I don't know. This is a difficult one.
It is. I guess where my brain originally went. Is holding food you don't like in your mouth. It would taste like shit. Yeah, it seems like at the point that you've put it in your mouth, you've you've already crossed the threshold. You don't just finished the motherfucker.
That's what I mean. Children are stupid.
Yeah, that's the craziest part of this to me, is like I'll just hold these chitlings in my mouth and that way I don't have to experience them. It's like, no, that's the worst part. Also, that's crazy to me because like maybe I'm crazy. My mom can cook. That's like one thing we never had, like nasty meals in my mouth, Like are you pants cook? My mom could cook. She
didn't love doing it, but she could cook. My dad I think had like four meals that he knew how to handle, and like we would have those pretty consistently. They hit for for my palette then and and I'm a big fan of my Daddy's a good man, good man good But I wouldn't say that. I I'd like go to somebody else's house and be like, man, you gotta try my dad's tomato chicken. It's like, I don't I enjoyed it.
What it was?
Chicken with tomatoes all over it? I don't know. Again, good man.
I don't put those two words together.
Yeah, what do you want from me?
No?
No, I'm a victim too, So I was like, no, I'm not gonna say, like, you know, great chef, but I enjoyed what we had growing up and and have zero regrets about having ate it. Do you know what I mean?
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, tomato chicken. But that's big. That's like prison's parents food was nasty.
Yeah, no, that part's pretty clear. Was like, this is nasty food, but apparently also nasty because it was so unseasoned and so sort of like blank that it was. You could keep it in your mouth for for sometimes hours at a time to escape responsibility of finishing your plate.
Yeah I don't. But do I think you Okay, So back to this conspiracy beery. Yeah, no, I don't think it would turn anoop mm hmm.
I I guess I kind of do. I guess, if I'm being completely honest, I don't think that it's necessarily gonna take the form that poop does. I think you gotta make it all the way down to the end of the train to to to get that blackened uh cajun, Yeah, that Cajun flavoring that that ends up with poop. But I do think that that's It's like the difference between like black and salmon and like and like sushi, do you know what I mean? Like theyre's still both fish.
It's just like, oh, okay, this is poop. This is like gross fucking mush that like is to your point, gonna stink and like be vile in a way. That's like pretty close to poop. If we if we like had a scientist in a in a glass, you know what I mean.
I mean, But isn't poop, man, we're talking so much about is it? It's like, but poop is also stripped of all the nutrients. It's like you take all the nutrients out and then your body pushes out the rest. Yeah.
And I think that at least in my understanding, that the more that we cook something right, the more that we heat it, the more that we uh that the more nutrients are lost into the atmosphere or I guess into the fire, whatever the fuck it is. And similarly, I think when you leave something soaking in a saliva or around bacteria, that's gonna be eating up those nutrients. I think in this case, we're just not absorbing them the way that we would. They're just being dissolved in
our bullshit mouths. Okay, I mean you don't you have no, I have no, I have no.
This is the weirdest conspiracy theory because it's not based in race. So I have no like, I have no like people I want to win or lose.
You, I got you. Let's read on because maybe, and it's worth noting that I do believe Carly said that she was raised by her black mom, yes, and extended family, and so it sounds like they were doing this in a black household, and subsequently it came from a black parent that that you got shit in your mouth if you hold it in your face. I need proof with like that, I got you. You need somebody to poop out their mouth and then you're like, God, I got you.
Yeah, there it is.
She goes on to say, So I'll be the first to admit that this isn't a textbook conspiracy theory per se, but I certainly believed it and was deceived by it
for an embarrassingly long time. I also came to realize there's some poignant themes in there that I didn't really process until I was an adult, something about not letting anything go to waste and not taking food for granted, especially when so many others in our community of lower income black and brown families went without Anyhow, over the years, I always get a good laugh when I tell people about this lie. Or is it that my mama told me that I thought you guys would get a laugh
too much? Love Carly, Yeah, Carly, your mama is a liar. Yeah, she lied to you.
Probably you didn't want to eat a nasty as food.
I get it, But you know what I see the vision, my ma. I think that whatever's been whatever's been kept in your face is equivalent to shit at the point that you would spit it out, and it is not only harmful and wasteful, but it also is basically poopish. It's poop, It's it's Kenny Barus brings to all of us poopish. It's a lighter poop, it's.
A biracial poop.
It's a biracial poop, but it's it's got its own struggles that we were unaware of twenty years ago.
Poopish starring Tracy Yellen is wrong.
She's back back.
Baby. You can't can't give a good man? Damn? Do you want to come see my mama told me live at the Allegiant Theater on February sixteenth. But you don't live in Los Angeles? Have we got an offer for you? We're live streaming it be a moment. What do you in Q and A's you can see me, you can see Langston. Tell them about it, Langston.
Please purchase tickets at moment dot co slash. My mama told me again February sixteenth at the Aleician Theater, but in your homes for the live stream or the next five days after, so buy those tickets. Olivia mentioned that there is apparently a disease, a disorder of sorts.
Oh, because if you hold it for too long when it comes at your mouth.
Right, yeah, so well apparently there's something uh yeah, feculent vomiting, fecal being the root word there. If anybody was wondering where people throw up poop out of their mouths, I guess unexpectedly.
Which truly sounds like the worst day. There's no what do you do?
Yeah, okay, let's say you're at dinner. Right, Let's say let's say you're at a fine Lebanese restaurant and and you you feculent vomit out of your face or do you wait for the check? Do you how do you proceed after that?
I'm out? Are you kidding? No, fucking you?
You vomit out of your you vomit ship out of your face, and then you just stand up and you you just walk. You just meeting you.
Again, probably not even on that side of town, to be honest, I won't come back.
So you're not moving cities. But you are like a New Borough kind of dude.
I'm off that street.
I got you?
Are you kidding me? Ship out of my mouths Now, I'm gone brover.
Well, this is a very real thing that apparently exists, and the American Journal of Surgery I'm reading now looks specifically at feculent bombing. Researchers found that throwing up poop, while not common, was associated with some type of intestinal obstruction, including either of the following mechanical intestinal obstruction a partial or complete blockage of the intestine that's more common in
the small bow paralytic obstruction. With this condition, muscle or nerve problems disrupt the normal muscle contractions of the intestines. A paralytic can can cause symptoms of an intestinal blockage, but there's not a physical blockage. So it sounds like most of this has to do with the intestine more than just you holding it in your mouth and then becoming poop.
Right, this is your testings is fucked up. It's gotta come out.
And they're like, we're going back, baby.
Staking ass bread. I miss bad breath jokes. Remember when there used to be so many bad breath jokes? When did we stopped doing that?
Yeah, I will say that that one of Uh it's a bad breath joke that lives in my head forever, and it's a it's it happened to a very funny comedian and a friend. So I won't name names, but uh, one time we were leaving we were leaving a concert. It was me, Jack and a few others and this comedian and uh, at one point, out of nowhere, Jack just turned to this dude and was like, donk your breath is fucking like shit. It's like and we've all been talking about it. Everybody knows that, come on, man,
we gotta do something. And then walked him into a convenience store and bought him gum in front of like ten people and like made this big announcement. It was one of the meanest, most effective things that he could have possibly do done in that moment.
But like, did his did you see this guy later? And or was his breath?
No?
He kept hanging out with us and and it helped. The gum definitely helped. And I feel ashamed even bringing it up, but it was so much funny but is insane. It was truly one of the funniest things that that has ever happened where because he was talking, he was happening a good night, we have been to a concert, We were just enjoying some shit, and Jack was just like, bro your breath. Everybody, look the secrets out, man. Everybody knows. We've already had private conversations about it.
You got it. That's that's the beauty of Jack. Though It's like you do have to like, he could have not done it, you know what I mean.
I wasn't gonna do it.
That's the big.
It was just gonna be. You know, I was just gonna have a rough night. I was like, Man, if I drink enough, maybe this will You don't smell nothing when you drunk. Yeah yeah, walk the man into a bodega and said here fix this. So to your point, I think there's still some bad breath jokes out there.
They just think good hidden as often as they used to. It was the mainstay of my childhood. The problem with bad breath is like people could lie about it. Whoa people could be like, oh, he's breast stinks, and then it's like, but does it? Are you just being me?
Oh?
Like?
Meaning like if I if I say your breast stinks, but you're not nearby to prove it, I'm just I'm just saying a random thing about you.
Like if a woman says that your breath staying, there's no you can't, there's no rebuttal.
Yeah she's just a hater.
But but there's no like you coming and being like no, actually I brushed my teeth. She just didn't like me. Oh you know what I'm saying. It's just like your breastinks.
Then oh you're saying that at the point there's no rebuttal for the receiver of that.
Yeah, there's no there's no you can't you can't beat that.
Yeah, it does it. It sucks when they're I think it got overused in the nineties, right, There was a point where like they were constantly telling people their breast things, and it was like, yeah, but you're nowhere near them. We don't even how do you know?
Yeah yeah, yeah, I got watered down.
Yeah, it got super watered down. But then there was a point to your point where it was like, oh, if somebody said it to you and they were close enough and or like had a context to be able to point it out, it became a thing that you was like a challenge for the rest of your life.
Right right, right, right, right, right, man, we gotta bring that back.
I used to carry banaka just out of fear of.
I don't works that well.
I don't think it does either. I think you're truly just getting kind of buzzed off of of a listerine.
Do they even make it anymore?
I think they still make banaka.
Yeah, man, that was some fresh shirt to do. Though it's under twenty and you had banaka. That was pretty fresh.
You just sprayed a couple of times, and it was like a cool as hell. Yeah, you end up at a girl's house and you know that that part of the night where you got to empty your pockets and you pull some knockout.
Yeah, she knows you're on point.
She knows you're playing this. This is.
This girl.
I was always ready for you, shorty later today. Yeah, man, you know what, don't buy it. I'm gonna send you some knock I'm gonna send you a big old case of man so you can get back to whatever whatever that is for you. Keep some on the bedside, keep some in your sock like an extra gun. You got a little bit knock a holester right on your sock.
I like to put it in the little pocket, you know, the fifth pocket on the that's where goes just in case don't go out your soul. You gotta have cash run.
You gotta have one hundred dollars in your little pocket. Come on, man. So so it doesn't sound, it doesn't sound like you're you're even still convinced that this is one and.
This was complicated because this one was not. This isn't a that's not a typical conspiracy theory. You know what I mean.
I think in this case, it feels like your mom was writing her own contemporary allegories, like in the same way that like Jonas in the Whale, ain't that his name? Jonah Jonah and the Whale is he didn't really get swallowed by a whale and then come out of it. But it's a lesson about like faithfulness.
Yeah, my mom used to tell me. My mom told me if you swallowed chewing gum, and this is a direct quote, it will rub against your gut and.
You will die.
And then and I thought it was just me. I talked to my little brother about it recently. She told him the same thing, not basing anything other than don't eat gum.
What you shouldn't eat gum. It's really really bad for you, That's.
What I'm saying. And I think that's where it came from. She was like, if you eat because you know, I was a kid, I was fucking housing big weak chu.
Yeah, I'll take your thickest pack, sir.
Yes, sir, and the bubble tape to go. Yeah.
I think I think that's one of those where it's like, yeah, technically you will die, but it's not just because of the one piece of bubble gum. You would have to be doing that constantly for a long, active period of time for this to start to have its residual effects.
And the point is that it worked to this day. I don't swallow gum, and I think Carly eats all her food.
Hell yeah, Carly, we hope that you are finishing your plate. We hope you have a big old pile of unseasoned pasta in front of you right now, and and you finish it anyway because of fear that you might be shitting out your.
Face eat all that tomato chicken.
I did, and I like it. Bory, do you want to tell the people where they can find you and what cool should you have going on?
You can find me a cool guy Jokes eighty seven on Instagram.
And as always you can. You can follow me at Langston Kerman and go subscribe to our YouTube hang Out Bullshit whatever that is. And uh, all right, that's it, bye, bitch.
The government babies grow chips in your bees. All Kuala bears are racist. The Old Slayer wholesale money many turkey stuff. I can't tell me