The Circumdecision (with Langston Kerman and David Gborie)

Also Olivia ron here circumcision was supposed to start masturbation. I don't imagine that word.

No, I did not, you know, it just makes phrase smoother. Landing, Baby, that runway is clear now, Well.

It's not that. It's not for me though, you're see what I'm saying.

Hey, that's not my business. That's not my business. Day before you and your your runway covered in debris. I'm sure you enjoy whatever you got going on over there. For us that prefer a slightly healthier airport, Uh, it's a little different.

The government.

Chips in your.

Kala bears are racists. The money.

Stuff I can't tell me, baby, baby, baby, I want to love you, I wanna kiss you.

What is it?

I don't even remember the words to the goddamn one I picked. It doesn't matter, Gentiles and little Mama's alike there it is. Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.

The podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.

And we finally worked to prove that Steve Harvey shaved his head and shaved on that that must dash all as a ruse, a long con to associate himself with the dying brand of the Mister Potato Head company, thus creating more advertisement for the company, thus getting the pockets of Parker Brothers relined. This man is a earner, not a silly person. Stop making fun.

On Everything's the deal. The deal is a deal, is a deal. You think he cuts his hair without getting money. You thought that was just existential crisis.

No, no, you think you think he was worried that we would discover the wig and his whole world would come crumbling. Absolutely not. The man made a choice. Potato Head in them came to him with a with a briefcase potato shaped, I assume, and they opened it up and it had all the money that old Steve Harvey would need to sit right.

Come on, the Parker Brothers are from Cleveland.

Follow the money, follow the money. This is all Cleveland connected. Don't make me get Lebron in there because you know, because you know he got a hair, he might have been faced with a real proposition from them, park Come on, you don't.

Think Mavericks set up that deal for him.

But I think I think Lebron walked with a little integrity. I think he couldn't bring himself to lose the hair, which is why, which is why we we have what we have today.

I'm making a list of dudes from Cleveland. Steve is next on the list. Damn, damn, who's three? Probably some nickname spoon.

Well, it looks like Wishbone is all we have left.

I don't know.

Where he is todayand on Wednesday, Oh man, good luck.

Well we.

I'm Lenggston Kerman, I'm David Boy and we're we're here with another fine Lengthston and David, David and Leangthston episode. And we figured what better way to enjoy one of these episodes than to read one of your emails? We got an email from a person. Do you want to read the email or would you prefer that I read the email?

I mean I can Yeah, I can read. I can read.

Okay, you got the email. I'm excited to just hear it.

I just want to. I just want to soak in it. You know what I mean? Got it? Are you ready? Yeah? I'm excited. This is all It says white doctors are circumcising black babies in such a way as to retard penus crow. Oh my god, let me say it.

Take a village.

But what if the village is retarded, which you think is going to produce.

Apparently some ass dicks.

Let us be very clear, there was no reason to write that sentence like that.

He knew.

He was like, man, I'm about to say some shit. He typed that email, and he went and got a snack, he took a break. He was like, I got it.

I'm not going to out this man. But his email signature far longer than the email.

Itself, unbelievably long signature, to the point that when I read it, I was like, well, certainly these words underneath it have to be more information. They are not. It is just sign off and saying that he is not at all. These words are not associated with the company that he works for. That's pretty much it.

Yeah, I mean this is so exciting. It's great a number of reasons. Where how do you initially in your heart, how do you feel?

I don't know that I believe any of this, but I don't ever side with sort of the powers that be in a conspiracy. So I am curious to hear more or know more as it relates to how you could cut a dick so that it don't grow back or grow correctly in the future.

Especially because I okay, we have to start with where is this coming from? Why the doctors are the ones? Because like black men having big dicks, isn't it's not affecting anyone's bottom line.

Yeah, there's not like a new wave of little dicks black men and the you know, the tides have turned and now suddenly white men are the leaders and penis innovation and performance. It's it's still I think a black game as far as I know.

Yeah, it's the long con. But also I just don't what's the reasoning for it.

Well, I think the reasoning would be the threat of the black man, right that, like our large penises and sexual fervor is too much for the fragile white man to handle, and thus he steps in and makes our penises permanently slightly smaller than they would have been.

Here's my issue with that, right is that this system is not set up to reward big dicks in that manner. I got, I know huge dicks who people who have huge dicks who don't own houses. You know what I'm saying, You're not gonna get a bank loan because you got got big ass dick. They're not gonna say shows your forms of income. You just put that hog on the table, Like there's not like it's peterly social the benefit of having a huge dig.

Yeah, I think certainly it would make more sense for them to address propaganda around big digs more than ever simpler even to just start like make being like, you know, big dicks are actually just a sign of like elephant titus and that person's really sick. Like you should be like tricking people into hating big dicks, and that'd be easier than like, you know, this weird u sushi cut that you gotta do on a fucking peepee to keep it from growing.

Or like big dicks are a side of low intelligence or something.

Yeah, well you're actually having sex with an ape.

I don't know if that nigga you got. You gotta relax.

You know, they're technically an ape, so you know, do what you want with that and join that wild monkey sex. You know, they carry different diseases than us. Like, there are ways you can really, right, right right right, create propaganda around it to defame us in faster than actually like you know, fucking blowfishing it.

It's just it's not so funny the idea that we have to start with the generation of baby right, Like, we're gonna nip it in the bud starting now.

Like, there's too much potential in that in that little stalk. We gotta we gotta chop that tree early.

I'm worried about it, but I do want to type in circumcision gone wrong.

WHOA, you're being crazy? How would you type that? I image search it. Well, they're going to put up an image pretty early.

I would imagine. No, this is just okay. So I'm not seeing anything before. God, damn it.

I told you not to do that. I told you not to do that.

God, that sucks.

I was very clear with you, David. I said, David, don't look at that. That's gonna hurt your eyes. I said, you're a nice young man. You don't want to change, not anymore.

Now.

You gotta know what that looks like.

Why would you do that? I know they we're gonna like list. I thought there was just gonna be a list.

If you asked for very specific body shit, they show you very specific body shit. They're never they never like leave an image on full old.

What was it?

Chopped in half?

What happened?

Split down the middle?

It's like it's a complicated it ahead.

Oh man, I gave him a gumby. That's that's a damn shame. It looks like Bobby Brown. Oh god, damn it. Are you circumcised? Is that a rude question to ask? No, I was gonna ask you the same. I'm a natural row. Oh all right, I take it you are. I know I'm circumcised. Yeah, I'm circumstans.

Is that because you're Jewish?

I think probably both. My dad is not a practicing religious person by any means, but I think there are some elements of tradition that probably he's he's held onto just logically. I also think, you know, he he's cut, so it made sense to cut his boy And uh, I.

You, Matt, sound like you guys are friends.

Yeah, I ain't getting cut unless my homies get cut too. How many homies you're talking about?

You like too?

I also think we grew up in an era where a lot of the propaganda around circumcision was most effective, Like the people believed in circumcisions when I was coming into the game.

Yeah, yeah, which I doesn't seem to be the case as much now.

No, there's a big wave of moms I would say it's moms in particular who are like, it's certainly the ones writing about it, but it seems to be a giant wave of people correlating circumcisions with like types of trauma that like, apparently you are sort of introducing a long lasting and potentially permanent trauma to your child by cutting his penis unnecessarily.

That's the case for not circumcising. Is that feels thin to me.

That's not the only case, but that is one of the most vocal cases for not circumcising.

Interesting, I mean, do you feel that.

No, But there's a lot there's a lot of shit about like parent sort of blog culture that I don't feel, you know what I mean, Like even even on its most basic level, Like I don't rock with the gentle parenting you know, practice that sort of is kicking around, Like there are elements of it I'm not interested in, like spanking my kid and being like wild about the shit, But like there's some of it where you truly are just being run over by a baby and all you

Maxton believes that in two years old, you have the right to kick them in the neck of the throat. Yeh is just the throat. Yeah, you gotta do something.

You gotta do something, you gotta.

Find when I'm out and a little kid's just wiling and it's like just ye, it's little. Yeah.

And as somebody who's had a child bug out on them in a public space, it makes you feel low, It makes you feel embarrassed, it makes you feel a lot of things. And if I don't figure out a way to resolve that quickly and not shamefully, then I don't feel like I'm nailing it as a parent. And the gent whole version of it does not feel effective for what I believe and want to practice.

I get that, I get that for sure.

So I say all that to say, permanent trauma from getting your dick cut?

No, I'm buying that.

I think maybe you just had a depressed kid and you're looking for a way to justify what inevitably may have just been who they are at their essence.

Are there a lot of dads saying that they got trauma from getting their dicks cut? I hope not.

I would clown this shit out of those dweebs. Yeah, what are you talking about?

Man? Shut up? I mean, would you circumcise a kid?

Not personally, it's not going to be my personal practice, but but yeah, my son, I'll get them circumcised.

Is there a level of because like in the same way that you got what you're da I got? Is there is there a lot? Because I have I feel like I've seen somewhere the idea of like it's supposed to look like their dads. That helps things.

I can't imagine it hurts things, you know what I mean? Like familiarity is part of how we create culture and identity. It makes it a lot harder when the ship looks different than you and you have to make sense of it.

I never even thought about that way. Nobody in my house had a dick.

Wow. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I don't of all the things, I don't feel like that left me feeling wanting. I wasn't walking around as a little boy like I need to dick. What's happening to me?

I can't make sense of this.

I'm so confused. What is this? Mama? Why am I so different? I just want would you have.

Mama. You think if I wish upon the highest star, I might finally be okay.

But I don't feel like I ever felt that way. I damn sure didn't want a pussy. So many events love pussy. You guys are doing great work. That is. Some people like to rent and some people like to own. Which one is, which one is? Which?

I think owning would make it permanent. I think you're saying you don't want to you don't want it yours. Permanent jokes are always funnier when we explain them afterwards.

People love it. If there's one thing I've learned about podcasts, people love the incessant ram and repeating of chokes. Uh so, I mean as far as the conspiracy of it also conspiracies like this. I don't think there's anything that doctors are all on the same page about. It's too big. Yeah, that makes sense, it's too it's too large.

I think I could find myself more on board with this if there were a big class of doctors of different races coming forward saying you know what I mean, Like yo, as a new you know, resident at this in this place, whatever I saw firsthand doctors doing inappropriate things with little black voice penises in order to shrink them or or cut off their growing potential.

I also don't know if, like you said, I don't know if there is a cut that you can because you're just cutting the you know what I mean, you're not. I don't know what what what? I don't know what you would do there to make it.

I don't either. But I also don't actually fully understand any circumcision much less, uh, you know what I mean? Like I understand kind of, but not because I've never had the foreskin and never spent a lot of time.

We are represented in media in a major way. That is true.

You know where y'all are killing it is?

I watch for important of course. Uh.

I was watching this UK show where people date each other. They don't date, They choose their their person that they want to go on a date with naked. Like they show their naked bodies first, and then the person eliminates people based off of their like body parts, and then at the end you see their face and you go on a date with them fully clothed. That's anyway, everybody's uncircumcised, and that ship.

I think it's only Americans who are like all circumcised.

Like that, right, Yeah, I think it's a super American. I imagine other Jewish nation, like I assume Israel probably is ohircising their people. But maybe that, you know, influence from other surrounding areas has has made them change that. But I feel like Jewish just means circumcised. That's a thing.

Amongst other things.

No, I think that's pretty much the only thing.

I mean, So I'm glad that this isn't real. I do think that.

Let's not say we don't know. We don't know yet, we don't is it not real? We haven't made that decision do we have that that's that right to say that we don't doesn't seem like either of us believe it so far. Maybe this is what we should do, because we have to take a break. Maybe the best thing we can do is take a break and we'll pull up a little bit of research about this conspiracy, not just pictures of flayed penises, as Bory decided to

More Mama, My mama told me.

We're calling upon you because we have we have new merch. We have very exciting merch that we are now selling and it's it's fucking great.

We love it so much. Just sleek, it's sexy. Come on, you want to tell them what we have? Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is really fun. We have a two tone hat Alien Dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have the enameled pen with the alien who has a koofie on it since my mama told me. And then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is who you are.

Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my mama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a brand new name, but it's the same old merch and we would love for you to get some if you haven't got it already, and we want you to have all the sweet stuff, so get it.

The blessings of God, we are back speaking about God's divine gifts. One of them be in circumcision, and whether you're into it or.

Not, yeah, and into it. That's not what we're saying.

That's how we're talking about.

You can be into whatever you're into. I think I think uncircumcised. When I'm watching that name at dating show, it is jarring. It's tough for me personally to look at. But I haven't you prefer a circumcised penis. I prefer, yes, circum because of familiarity and comfort. The other one looks like an elephant's trunk to.

Me, and I don't. I don't. Well, let's not bring size into it.

I didn't say what kind of elephant, and I didn't say how sick it was. I just mean the general shape disturbs my fine.

Eye, your fine eye. I feel like the majority of people are used to non circumcised penis.

You think non circumcised is the one that they've seen most often.

The world over?

Yes, sure, we're not talking about the world though, we're talking about it the American good American institutions. You think the average American woman is looking at a uncircumcised penis more often than a circumcise.

Oh no, no, no, not unless she's like really in the Caribbean, dudes or somewhere.

Yeah, I don't. I think that is a rare find in this country that a woman is like, yeah, I pretty much have only seen uncut.

Yeah, yeah, that is right. I mean there's not even my digs sucked.

Hey, I pray it never does. Let me be clear, I'm not rooting against anybody. I'm for everybody getting their dick sucked, no matter what the shape, creed, or color of your penis. But I do think pound for pound for me, a circumcised penis looks more like the penis I know and love in love, Okay, well I love my penis. I'm a I'm a fan. I support him.

That's fair as you should. It would be crazy if you didn't, or if you felt lacking. No, no, no, I've resented some of his actions at times.

Yeah, I don't love everything about him, but that's not what love is.

That's true.

Marriage and fatherhood has taught me anything. Love don't mean you get everything you want.

You know, God, damn, sometimes you paint a weak picture of what appears to be a very beautiful life you have.

I didn't mean that in a bad way at all. I meant that just frankly.

I meant that honestly. No, that's not idea.

Okay, but now I feel like a monster. My wife is beautiful, my child is. I adore her. She's my best friend in the world. I have no complaints about the life that I had, But of course there are things that we all imagine our lives will become that cannot sustain given truly investing in other.

People well put eloquent as always. Oh man, I got some splaining. Then.

What I'm saying is, I think you're great. I think you're a good person.

You did it good, you did a good job. That's great.

So you are you are uncircumcised, you know, concerns about ever about whipping it out, and that somebody would be like, ah, I gasped, I've never seen such a meaty cut before. Uh, where do you think I go?

What are the places you think that I go? That's not my business. No, but I have heard people speak of it like that. Yeah, but I have never I would be lying if I said I have never heard a true person to person story. If somebody like she wasn't fucking with it because of that, it might be I just haven't. Personally. I have heard women say that they don't care for it, Luckily not the women I'm dealing. But yeah, I've definitely heard women say they don't like it.

Yeah, I mean, but again, I think some of that might just be familiarity. It's worth noting that Olivia and Bay sent us some statistics along all of this, But black people make up or sixty eight percent of black people apparently are circumcised in the United States, White sixty six in the highest income quartile. Am I saying that word right quartile sixty point seven percent? And Midwestern boys apparently seventy five percent of Midwestern boys were most likely

But that being said, sixty six percent or sixty eight percent, that's really just like two out of three. So that means unless you're like as a woman or a man, you're if you're fucking with dick, you're gonna encounter one.

But I would also say that it's two out of three across the country, and some of that might be regional, do you know what I mean?

So, like, if you're talking about that in the Midwest, it's three out of four, and I can't speak to the traditional amount of I don't know how what the average number of partners is, but it does seem like with numbers in that range, I think it's probably pretty average that most people who are I don't think it's crazy to say most people are sexually active come across from Yeah.

Yeah, it's it's very possible to not come across one. But given those statistics, but if you've if you've put up decent numbers, you probably have seen a few. And right and go for you.

Yeah, God bless and there.

We talked about this a little bit when the mics were were not hot. But one of the reasons that people claim for needing to circumcise your child is because of health concerns, a cleanliness issue, and I think you should speak to that is that Has that ever been a concern? Is it something you would fear for for a future, David Borie.

I would not. I mean there was as a kid, you were taught to properly clean yourself. Sure what I mean? So it like, but that is always that is always the main kind of thing I've heard against it. But to me, if anything, if anywhere there is a conspiracy,

To be able to justify even keeping this thing because of how dirty it's gonna get.

Yeah, that doesn't really make sense.

And where do you think, if you put your conspiratorial head on, where do you think that propaganda was born? Like, where do you think that's coming from?

I mean, you know the type of people who do it the most. No, that's purely a joke. I don't. I don't. I don't know enough about it to understand how it caught on because that is still a minority within the country, right, the Jewish. Jewish people are a small minority of the whole country. So I was caught on as like the status quo. I really don't know. Olivia also said I needed to be known. Olivia said, people don't know. It's actually more pleasurable for people with vaginas ha ha.

No oh said that, Hey, come on, they're freak too.

Yeah, they're freaking they freaking. Uh but yeah, I don't so. I I experienced no issues with cleanliness. I guess I could see it being a problem, but it's much like all hygiene. If you don't keep up on it's the same way where if you don't brush your teeth, you know what I mean. Yeah, I mean I think no, I don't think it's I don't think it's a major.

I think you also have to teach a boy to clean his gooch and you know what I mean, Like I hit behind the ears and the belly button, Like there's a lot of stuff you got to show a kid, and and that's more circumstantial than it is like, oh, this paenis will objectively always be dirty because because of the way it's built.

Yeah, if anything is built with a natural protect protection.

Yeah, I got a little got a little overcoat, yeah, little batman uh batman cape? Yeahugg Yeah that did got a do rag on it. So uh yeah that that has always felt like propaganda. I will also say that I looked up if circumcision does affect the penis size, and there's immediately the AI overview sort of breaks down. This circumcision does not affect penis size. During circumcision, only the foreskin of the penis is removing. Penal size is

I've also said that I've also and this is once again totally just like hearsay. I'm also heard that it makes it more pleasurable for the person with the dick as well as the vagina m and that that circumcised penises' is just sort of like a dual club you're forcing inside your partner night after night.

I didn't know now, I've never heard that, and I was saying something similar that that that it actually feels better for both both parties. I have heard that it feels better for the dude, that like we're giving dude, we're taking a little bit away from the dudes by taking their foreskin away. But I will also say I've been having a great time. If I'm missing out on a little bit of fun, that's all right. I ain't

What I'm saying. They're doing crazy shit in the back.

That ain't for me.

Different literally different strokes, strokes.

So yeah, I guess there is a possibility that it's more pleasurable both parties, I assume, am I truly I don't understand. Is it more pleasurable for the person receiving because there's more pressure created by like that additional skin you're asking bay, right, I'm asking whoever's to tell me. I've never done it any other way? Right, But but okay, fair enough. Oh for vaginas, it's good for the clip, is what we're we're being told on different chats.

Oh yeah, that does that does make sense. I I know it. I know what they're saying exactly yes, that is yeah, oh yeah, okay, Oh I never wow, I never thought about that. It just it rubs up. There's more skin there, so it rubs up against it. I never thought about that, the idea of not having that. Damn.

Well, I'm sorry to all those clips I've left unstimulated because of my week week shaven penis. But uh, you know, try my best for men. I think the butthole has a lot of stimulation. Yeah, I think that that's true, foreskinned or not for skinned that ass I think I think butt's open for business for certain people and they get a lot of simulation out of it. Was that eloquently put to?

Uh no, No, it was much better when you were talking about your family.

That we need to take one more break. We're gonna come back and we're gonna wrap up this conversation about foreskins. I thought about a few other things that I want to ask you about. Okay, we're in second break. We're gonna be back with more, David, more likes than more. Mama told me we're calling upon you because we have we have new merch. We have very exciting merch that we are now selling and it's it's fucking great. We love it so much.

Just sleek, it's sexy. Come on, you want to tell them what we have? Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is really fun. We have a two tone hat, an alien dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have the enamel pin with an alien who has a coofie on it since my mama told me. And then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is who you are.

Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my mama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a brand new name, but it's the same old merch and we would love for you to get some if you haven't got it already, and we want you to have all the sweet stuff, so get it. Why are.

Something's going on?

Can I smell yo?

Big? And is it cut? We are talking.

But you can smell it. But she doesn't know what it looks like.

She just I don't know, man, I'm just trying to have fun with my friends.

Sorry. Yeah, I came in like a real hater asking for clarification.

So we were talking about over the break, and I was saying because Langs mentioned that I'm not nailing for the idea of advocacy for circumcision, and it's because I am pretty ambivalent towards it. I'm definitely not like one of these people who's like, you have to I don't believe that trauma thing or anything like that. Do I believe it's necessary, obviously not have lived a life without it, you know what I'm saying. But do you.

See and would you see any reason for going through with it for your kid or you like? No, there's no way in the world that I would find myself letting that happen at this point.

I don't think so. It would have to be a pretty good argument. If the only argument is it would be different. His dick would be different than most of the dicks in this one section of a world that I hope he goes out to explore the No, I don't really see that doesn't I got you. That doesn't seem necessary or really all that important to me.

Yeah, No, that's fair, that makes perfect sense. It is worth noting that you you also talked a little bit about the sort of manipulative quality the propaganda as it relates to making people feel less than that that I think we should discuss that that the the andandard of circumcision does create I guess bigotry of sorts. I penis size and shape and cuts and ship.

I think when I was younger, when I was first getting it touched, I think I was maybe more worried about it. But it's like, as far as like the idea of as far as the idea of bodily things that you have that are bigoted, I'm hitting a trifecta, right, So I've always it's been an uphill battle. Anyways. I had to love you because it's like, I'm black as hell, I'm fat as how I got a big, old, uncut dick, So it was like I got it. I gotta I gotta embrace all this shit, you know what I'm saying.

It wasn't gonna cripple you in your effort to achieve.

No, I'm strong, you know what I mean. Goodbye man, A weaker man with a cave. But yeah, I don't know. I I think any idea of thinking about like my if I were to have a son, and what I would think, Yeah, it's hard for you, I you'd be hard for us to find a way to convince me that it's necessary.

I had a kid I went to high school with who got circumcised while we were in high school. God, it was the funniest day.

I think his cousin might have told everybody that's a bad cousin.

I can't remember how we found out, but I do remember that he left, like for two days or whatever it is, and us being like, yo, wear such and such. Ad I'm going to respect him enough not to say his name.

Yeah, more bile me.

I think probably would have said his name, but they were like, yo, we're such and such. And then somebody knew, like where he was. It might have been his girl. It might have been his cousin. Somebody, Wait, so we had a girl. That's interesting. It was fascinating. It truly was like a choice of like, no, this is what I want to do. And then he came back two days later and we just ate him alive for being a man, making a choice.

To be ra motherfuckers, to be like the rest of you jackals.

As if we didn't all go through it, as if you know what I mean, Like this wasn't just a dude trying to fit in and be himself or feel better inside of his body. Like it all had a logic and we were like, Nope, we're going to make him feel lo lo lo lo lo low for the next three weeks.

But then didn't settle in at some point.

Yeah, I think you stop worrying about it because you know, like I said, he had a girl and he was having he was having sex. It wasn't affecting the one thing that we valued much more than anything else. So yeah, do your thing, bro, I'm just teasing. But imagine if he wasn't having sex and he had to deal with the repercussions of us making fun of him and not getting any afterwards.

That that would almost be a bridge too far. It would have killed him. Yeah, that would be too much.

That's that's how you kill a young man.

It's also an interesting thing to be bullied about or for, you know what I mean, It is very strange because it is like, what are you worried about it?

It's weird that you would even know, bro.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, what are you worried about dick?

Fifteen year old me doesn't agree. Fifteen year old me is like, any information I've ever heard about any of your body parts is going to be a roast session.

I don't care. But that's because you're upset with your own nipples, of course. Yeah.

No, where, every every true good ross comes from a little place of self hate. That's why you make it so loud and aggressive so that people don't notice your weak spots.

But also, I'm not like a big advocate for it, so it's not something I'm like ambarrassed about or whatever. But I'm talking about it on podcasts. But I'm also not like out here screaming from the tree tops about it, you know what I mean. Yeah, so I don't. I don't think that's necessarily a shame thing, but I don't. It's just not that important to me, you know.

Yeah, I I guess I feel it's important largely for simplicity's sake, more than because of the the literal, like penis itself needing to be a certain way, Like I think it just will make my life easier if his penis looks like my penis, And so that's what we're gonna do.

But no, I mean that's I think that I'm the main thing, right, Yeah, you only have to convince one generation and then I'll just keep going.

And I do I I you know, I imagine there are some of our listeners who are gonna say horrible, mean things back to me because I'm introducing this, this life ending trauma to my child. And if that's the case, fuck you bitch.

I don't know what for me. This might be a weird, this might not be even easy to answer. But do you feel like your penis looking like your father's penis? Maid? I know this is like weird territory. I said, does you do you think your dick looking like your dad's dick made any kind of difference?

No? But but I I also don't.

I didn't grow up with the dad, so I don't know how much How much are you see in your dad's dick?

I wasn't saying it a lot, but I wasn't saying it a lot. But when you're a kid, you see your parents' bodies.

I think, right, you see your parents.

Nay, there are moments that's sort of like like, oh, okay, I've seen your body, you've seen mine? And and that's just the way it is with their when you have kids. And so I saw it enough and nothing about it needed explanation if that means.

Right, and that maybe I could see how there could be a hang up.

It's not even a crazy explanation. It's not even like a you know what I mean, Like, oh my god, how do I begin to have this conversation? But parenting is hard enough and I don't need an extra hurt, do you know what I mean? Like day to day my daughter cusses me out for basic things that have nothing to do with the shape of her If we can cut one of those things out of the conversation, then we're having a better day.

Okay. I I have wondered about like there's not like any role to you, just like it's just like this, right.

Yeah, No, I don't have a roll ship.

No no, no, But you don't understand. You don't understand what I'm saying, Like around the shaft, you're just rubbing. I don't know how to explain what I'm saying. It's just like this, this is it's the same as this is, this is jerking on this, it's the same thing. I don't I don't like this at all.

I I won't stand for this for one second. There's no world where you present this and this as jerking off and I go, yeah, yep, it's like that.

Do you understand what I'm saying though? That there's no.

I don't understand a goddamn thing if you're gonna speak to me like this. If you want to have a conversation about a penis with me, you go down to your local grocer and you get a size appropriate vegetable or fruit and you come to me like a man. You're a hotel.

I don't have a bunch of dick shaped shit in here, David boy. That's not my business. That's not my goddamn business.

But what's not gonna happen is you make my penis a non NBA pointer finger and then jerk it off with your thumb and your index and I go, look correct, to me, all feels right, and all feels right at home.

It doesn't because it doesn't work though, because it's not my hand is.

No, sir, you show me some goddamn respect.

I know I don't like Okay, okay, okay, hold on, let me think. Yeah, the tag off this bottle.

Look at him uncrumpling his crusty penis.

Like, there's no extra skin here, right, So it's just this is just it. Yeah, that's right. That's that's the whole thing. That's it.

Now you get the head in there. Yeah, yeah, you get it, You get the whole thing.

Doesn't it really seem like it's good of a time?

Brother? I don't know the difference. I'll never feel what I'll never feel what you feel. So I'm not missing anything, do you know what I mean? Like, you can tell me it's not as good of a time, but I truly can't.

I don't know though.

That's what I'm saying. It's just I think you just had the choice made for you one way or the other of what kind of pleasure you'll have. So when people are like, well it's better, it's like but they'll be okay.

Yeah, they're gonna like fucking whatever you do to it, you're gonna like to put it in stuff.

Those nuts still bust. It's it's fine.

That's why people are always talking about lotion. Mm hmmm.

So you don't need lotion because your skin is the is the lupergant.

What's happening?

It like it moves right, so you can just hold the skin and move across the penis.

Yes, does that make sense? Yeah, that's what I say. That's what I was trying to do with this. That's what I got.

I got you, and I'll be honest with you. I understood back then, but I wasn't going to consent to it.

Okay, I followed. I just wasn't gonna I can't play that because okay, now this is funny. Going back, I do remember this idea of like you need people be like I gotta have a jug off the lotion.

It never seemed that necessary to you.

No, no, no, no, yeah.

Now we're we're we're straight up against the Uh this wood floors down here. You know what I mean, there is no there's no carpet.

No, you gotta get some shot grugs. Baby, Nope, I mean it's too late. Like you said, is there there's no regrown there's no right.

There actually is, And I'm glad, I somehow, I'm glad this came up. There are people, there is a wave cult of people who are actively trying to regrow their foreskins, and there's like I guess these these weights that.

You can attach to your penis horrible to whatever happens.

Over time, just weigh it down until the foreskin pulls and regrows. That's how bad they want whatever you've been selling of like, oh, it feels so much better.

I don't know if I've been selling it feels better. I'm just living my life.

No, you and your your your ilk folks like you, the the sickos out there. I mean, you have been telling us over and over again that our penises are numb with.

It sounds terrible. It does sound terrible. It does sound like it sucks to jerk off.

Listen, I've been doing just fine for quite a while.

Doesn't seem like it simulate sex at all. It's just your Yeah, that sounds bad. Whatever. I guess some people like skinless chicken tenders.

You put enough seasoning on it, they're pretty good.

Not as good as a PRETI, but whatever. Uh, Listen, we're not gonna come to We both like.

It healthier though, that's healthier.

How great has the life lived if there's no pleasure involved? You know what I mean?

It is just okay, Okay, now we're doing yeats.

Listen. At the end of the day, we're just two guys who like our dicks. That's that's it. I think that's all we got. I think that's right.

And uh and I pray that you like your dick all right, there's nothing else to say about this. I don't think that the circumcisions are real.

Uh and and we hope that uh, we hope that whoever is getting circumcisedes happy with that choice.

I don't you want to tell the people where they can find you? Cool guy jokes, Sadie said, Cool Guy Jokes eighty seven on Instagram, Patreon, dot com, backslash David Bori all special updates, interviews coming out weekly on that until the special and after the special comes out, got some great content. We interviewed Langston. It was amazing. He was very funny. That's gonna be on there. Also, the special looks great by it when it comes out. It's very funny, it looks beautiful.

So I saw a very funny clip so far, and goddamn it made me laugh out loud. Both the jokes are great, but also the circumstances of the special are are just naturally hilarious.

I love it. I feel like it. Yeah, so do that And exploding kittens July twelve and Kittensflicks. I play a little baby Angel.

Okay, I like that And as always, you can follow me at Langston Kerrman. You can watch my special when it comes out August twentieth on Netflix, and you can like, you can subscribe, You can submit to my Mama Pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you, your drops, your conspiracy theories, your pictures of the foreskin that you grew back. Send it all to my Mama Pod at gmail dot com and most importantly, buy some merch review rate, do all the things online Bang Bang.

Skeet skei, Bye Bitch.

My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

Greet It and hosted by Langston Correct, co hosted by David Bori, Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hansani and Olivia Akilo, co produced by Bee Wayne, edited and engineered by Justin.

Kommon, music by Nick Chambers.

Artwork by Jevon Kriga.

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