That Ex Is Made For Walkin' (with Sequoia Holmes)

It's more, it's more exciting for Kanye to blame the Jews than it is for him to blame the stars.

You know, how do you feel back this guy?

I just said, it's more exciting.

How happy he is if Kanye.

If Kanye was like, I lost my Adidas contract because I'm a Gemini, that's boring.

Go.

But if he's like, there's a Jewish cabal planning against me, come on, we're having fun.

Anytime I hear ohd any kind.

Of as a July, I would absolutely believe Kanye if you said that.

Okay, You're like, no, I get what I get. What's trying to get us?

Somebody here?

You're right, babies, chips in your.

Quals, Racists, the money, turkey stuff I can't tell me.

As titties, ass and titties. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.

Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.

And we finally worked to prove that soldier boys kiss Me through the phone wasn't homage to the NSA.

That's right, move over, gonna move over, Gunna.

Big Draco was the first rapper to make snitching swaggy as fuck you goddamn right here is doing it first. Baby.

I thought it was a beautiful anecdotal so your girlfriend, No, it was, it was it was about secure. It's really like enemy of the state too.

Yeah, he was like, I got you, I got you, big government, big Draco, Big Draco taking care of you from now on. Damn, I'll teach these niggas to talk on the phone.

I'll make them big government kissing you a public.

I'm Langs think Herman.

And I'm David Boy, and I want to say I love that song. Yeah.

No, Here's the thing is is Sojia Boy has often, very often gotten a lot of flak for being deserved. Oh deserved is saying she's boy person. But I'll say, I'm I think he's done a lot more than we like to give him credit for. I think he's a pretty obnoxious guy. I think we can all agree on that. But but he's pretty He's contributed a lot more than we realized.

And the htes are the hits. I mean, I remember driving home from work, which would I had a girlfriend to play kiss me through the phone too? You know what that was?

Real time, and I'm sorry that happened to you yesterday. You know, I I pray to God that we fixed it by tomorrow.

No, no, I don't have a car anymore.

Well, our guest today has already come out as an anti soljiaboy officionado. I don't know what the right word is to be anti something, but she she hates Soljia boy. But but I'll tell you this. She came with the conspiracy theory that we're very excited about. She's she's lovely, she's talented, she's a podcaster, specifically, you know her best from her podcast Black People Love Paramore. And we're so happy she's here with us today. Please give it up for Sequoya Home City Bar City Bar.

Yeah, I was excited to be on.

We're so excited to have you. You came with the conspiracy theory that I would say, if I'm being careful in my verbiage, probably falls closer to like old wives tale, like you know, sort of like the pre internet conspiracy theory language that we often use. But I do think has hit a pretty major resurgence in recent years that that I'm excited about. But you said, my mama told me.

If you buy your romantic partner shoes, they'll walk out of your life.

Right.

My mama did tell us everything.

Tell me that.

You know, I was really proud of this one because I'm looking on the internet and I was like, no, because my mom has definitely said some wild shit to me before. What does she be saying, Yeah, I came up with this on I was like, yes, absolutely, this lady has absolutely said don't buy no nigga no shoes because them the shoes that he is going to leave the door when he leaves. I said, wow, And guess what I have never done, never bought a nigga no shoes.

You're already lying scratching at one time.

I would hate to go look at Garrett's wardrobe of shoes and be like, damn, I did buy him right there.

Yeah, yeah, so I don't know.

He's a very trendy guy.

So you you're saying you've never to your to your recollection, you've never once bought a man shoes, So it sounds as if you're pretty bought in on this conspiracy theory.

Oh yeah, I'm wall in on all of the old wives tale superstitions that you hear about, especially ones that involve niggas walking out the door. We're doing, We're doing absolutely worry.

It's like a surface area thing, like it's not so much this specific thing as much as it's just a common babe wow.

If it's the one thing we're gonna do.

Is leave, Also, don't buy the niggle pizza because you might walk out the door like there's this baby girl.

I was gonna go either way.

I was gonna say, we want to be whole and honest about it. My mom said, don't buy a nigga nothing. So I haven't got respect it respect. I haven't gone that far. I just not buying shoes. I buy you sign you'll.

Buy I love something, but but shoes ain't it? Bor bory? Where do you live in all of this? If you receive shoes as a gift, did you leave immediately after? Where does this happen?

My narrative like that, first.

I assume you have a whole wall of sneeze.

Yeah, but that's on the point left because I was gonna leave. It wasn't because of the shoes.

What you still have on when you left is the question?

Man, I was a one. I was broke. I was a one pair of shoes at a time guy until like four years ago.

How do we go from you didn't have no girlfriend to now you walking out with the shoes on. I don't like it. I don't like it. That's why you can't give me any things. I don't like it.

I'm not gonna say that's not true. I feel personally at TechEd, I know, But how do I feel about this one? I think it's possible because I've also heard this in relation to men and women. MM. Like my homie Miaomie actually just brought this up the other day. He's from South Carolina, and he said his mom told him the same thing about women.

Whoa that you can't buy a lady shoes because she will to walk out.

Yeah, I've never done for that.

I've never never bought a woman's shoes.

Oh, don't talk to me like I'm a fucking psychopath. Langston.

I'm second that.

I second that insertion.

Yeah you felt it right?

My second what Langston said.

I'm not buying the dumb dumb had a friend.

We're all the same behaviors.

I have bought shoes for women, but I've also lost women, So you know, I don't know that. I don't know that it was the best behavior I could have, you know what I mean, Like they could have been the beginning of my downfall. Who knows.

It wasn't the first thing you bought her though, right, it was not.

The first thing. I'm not a I'm not a simp.

I I you know you're acting like I put that on you. I was just asking a question.

I know there are stages to like normal gifts unless you are fucking drake, and shoes ain't the first thing you buy somebody.

I think, Wow, shoes are Drake level for me.

Yeah. That that that feels like I might as well pop a half of zand.

It's like some bands or something you nothing crazy like bust of Vans.

Yeah, it feels like I'm making bold choices for your future in a way that that I have to know you better than than on some like third date ship, you know what I mean. Like I'm telling you what you're going to wear. That's that's a big step.

You put up shoe money for an experience, That's like no, I meant more like I spend a shoes amount of money on an experience, But like buying the specific shoes does feel very I don't know presumptuous is a way, but it does. It's like heavy, it's it's weighted for sure.

Let me let me ask how far this reaches for you, Sequoia, are you like no, I will not help you acquire shoes in any form. If we go bowling, you will pay for your own shoes that are are clearly used and returned immediately after.

I mean, I'll help you with the bowling shoes because my assumption is that you're not finna walk out the bowling alley.

I'm sure in the bowling shoes. You know so well, the baby girl, you're a fool.

Get you And that's my part, you know, because I might as well help you with the bowler shoes.

You might walk out.

I don't know, we'll see, but I will say I have accepted several pairs of shoes. I have been bought shoes, you know, multiple times. I have walked out sometimes in said shoes, but but not you know, as of late.

So I think we're okay.

You know the myth. I don't know we're okay right now?

Sure in your current relationship, and we we both know your your person, your partner in your current relationship. Have you received shoes as a gift?

I have. I have received a lot of shoes. Actually, Okay, yeah, I think that might be the primary thing that.

He gets my boy.

All right, See that's a good trick. He's like, if I got you too many shoes, you ain't gonna know how to leave. You got to put something on leave ye, these shoes gonna weigh you down.

Keep it. Yeah, you gotta get a new bag for the shoes. It's old thing.

But he's a sneakerhead, kind of like a very quiet sneaker head.

So he likes shoes a lot.

And when I told him I wanted to get my sneaker game up, he just bought me like a few pairs of shoes that he thought would be good to do.

That I got you. He really invested in your future as as a missus sneaker head.

I got you. Okay.

So so you buy into this and immediately did at any point where you like, no, Mom, did this is silly you old shut up? Or was this just from day one?

I'm in.

I'm in.

You don't really have to tell me twice any superstition. I'm probably in you probably don't want me too much. So yeah, no, I was in pretty immediately.

Hell yeah, and my mom is black.

I would never say that to her. That lady would beat me up if anything like that.

Hey, you don't believe something that your mom says to all right? No, I don't know.

If I don't believe it, I got to not believe it by her first name?

What else am I doing?

I'll be honest, guys, I'm thirty six. There's a whole bunch of stuff I know my mom was real wrong about at this point.

I'm not. I mean, you're saying that now, but she's not here.

Right that the podcast? Yeah no, if you were a guest, i'd I'd bite my tongue exactly.

But then when she myself I'll be talking again.

There you go, Ory, is this something your mother ever communicated? Was this around the Sierra Leone conspiracy world?

No? Ours are really magic based. So no, I was trying to think of anything even. I mean, my mom has told me watch the way you get her, because that might be how you lose her.

Definitely, and that and that has rang true pretty my time my life.

A few times, I feel like pimp talk.

It's a complicated backstory on Miss Sarah. Yes, hears on accounting for but uh but no, as far as the specific the specific specifty of the specificity of the shoes, no, I never got it, but I have. I've heard it enough that like it also seems like a timing thing, right, Like, because in my head, I'm like, if I'm buying shoes, I'm either super committed and it's going really well or I'm trying to like fix the sinking ship. Right yeah, So that's like if that's the last ship I bought her.

That does feel like it could fall under Like save us asked gifts, you know what I mean, I get some salvage ship where it's like this isn't going well, but we all agree shoes are nice, Yeah, real.

Shoes, not like up tempos.

I'm not like, yeah, okay, I have a friend whose relationship was not going well and that nigga started looking at engagement rings. So I know.

That's a dumb dumb he's wrong. I don't think you. I don't think you commit for the rest of your life to some ship that's already not pleasant at home.

You know what I mean? Now, you're very right, double down.

That's that's fucking insane. What did he also take the condom off? You idiot?

What are you doing?

Yeah?

The reverse parent trap reverse. I don't recall what that movie was about.

I think it was about Lindsay Lohan being her healthiest self.

You know, very much mistook it then, Yeah, I think that was that was just a nice young lady who wasn't yet jaded and or scarred from a fucked up industry.

And also Liam Neeson's wife. Really, yeah, it wasn't the British mom. Wasn't that Neeson's wife who died. I think she died in a very pretty tragic way. I think she got hit. She was like on a skiing accident, hit her head, and then like they had like looked at her and ship and she was fine, and then like hours later died from like concussion, you know, bleeding inside and ship.

Oh my god.

Yeah, sorry to bring the mood down, but you can't do that.

Another conspiracy that's out.

I love that. This is why you can't go skin because Liam Neeson's wife was murder. Yah, Sonny Bono hit a tree and he died from from skin. A lot of scan deaths.

Apparently it's dangerous.

It is so so sequoia. Given the fact that you have received shoes in your relationship, given the fact that you presumably are in a happy, healthy situation, does that in any way change your perspective on the possibility of buying my man, who is a sneaker head, some some shoes, get my man some kicks. Is the question will you do it?

I buy my man plenty of things.

Plenty of things, Okay.

I would also say he's very personnicity when it comes to his so as far as buying him something that he's gonna wear on his body, the likelihood that he likes it is a real crap shoot. So it doesn't make sense to take a risk on this superstition, this conspiracy that I'm already believe in. When the likelihood that he wears him is this much anyways, and on top of that, that might be the time he wears him to walk out the door, it doesn't make it.

Damn No, I wouldn't do that.

Damn Well. First of all, if my wife called me person nakedy, I would leave, uh.

You even those red bandy I am done and I'm thinking Rick and Morty collapse with.

You got me fucked up?

He's a virgo.

I know that doesn't mean anything to y'all. Maybe I don't know.

Yeah, yeah don't.

Yeah, we don't here at the podcast, we don't particularly subscribe to uh the Sky Devil Magic Week. We mostly we mostly even the tangible shit.

So y'all have a podcast about conspiracy theories and superstitious and astrology. Is where you draw the line?

Yeah, yeah, I know it's crazy, right, We're aware that it's hypocritical. I'm not like you know.

Dead So so you're not going to be buying him any shoes. You are still going to to gift him in other ways that that's all fine. Do you feel like this is a conspiracy you need to be spreading across other platforms? Are you trying to tell every woman you know not to subscribe to to buying shoes?

As I watched.

The girlies and the gays be left left and right, I feel like this is the ministry that I need to spread as far and why do I can possibly get it? Stop letting these niggas walk out in the ship that you bought in the shoe.

Damn, don't buy it.

That's how you that's just how you get in front of it. Don't buy it.

You'd be good.

This is this is also a rare one for us in that you said you have walked out in the shoes that you've been bought right. Wow, So that's like that's a lot of times these conspiracies are just theories. But you have, like you have hard fight you're living now.

I will say I've walked out in some Another another instance, the man asked for the shoes back to be mailed back to his address.

Whoa mailed from his address?

I gave him back? I did?

I did.

I didn't want to.

I didn't want to hear the mouth. I didn't want no confusion. This is a wrap you can take your shoes back to. Don't need them either, Damn I didn't first.

Well, I didn't even know you could do that.

This is what we need to be talking about as far as like influential things on this podcast.

Fellas wake Up. You can ask for stuff back.

I hope he's a mayor at least because it sounds like.

Is this renaissance man.

It was just renegade.

He was just he was just hurt.

You know, he was.

Mad at you.

He was all mad. That's also difference. Did he ask you be a text or email to send the shoes back?

He texted me email email.

You even know you could do that, like back in the text message, but you knew it's that dressed. I assume, Yeah, I.

Sent him the shoes back. Yeah, I went to the USBs who shipped them on paym all low.

And these were I have to assume these were pretty nice shoes. If he if he made a point of this.

They were Hirachis. I was also like the time, so yeah, that was nice Sport twenty.

One right right, right, right right.

We were playing a different game back.

Then, I guess yeah, And it was for I did like them.

Yeah, what color were they?

They were?

They have like a they were customized from Nike I do dot com and they had like a pink tone area and some snake print on the on the outside of the It was a whole whole seduce.

So he went out of his way to give you custom Haurachis and then was like, I'm keeping these just out of because he can't give them. Well, maybe he can. Maybe this hero uh those chis from lady to lady.

Maybe this sounds fucked up, But do you still have his number? Because maybe I could. I'd like to.

I am very blocked, but you might be able to get to him.

So no, I do like the idea that the Hurrazis fit bory and and this ends up being the partnership that he's been looking for.

Oh no, I was just talking about life. I was just talking about life, life outlook, stuff in general. But I'll take the Hiurachis as well. I got bigger almost.

I have big.

I have big for a woman.

And so if he was trying to pass them off for any other woman, especially because he was short, it was unrealistic that he was going to be able to find a woman that was under his height that was gonna fit my shoe damn all right, So he was kind of ship out.

Of the I think that he wore them. Is that a possibility?

Maybe he wore them. I don't know. I know that I went on Nike Idea and Nike I d the exact same shoe and shipped to my house because I wanted those damn shoes.

So Oh, so you you memorized the color way enough, you had it locked in that you were like, I can replicate this.

Yeah, I've been looking at that. I was like, I can, Nike. I do them real quick.

Yeah, I get six million dollar man these Hirachis, Yeah, and give them back to this man.

Wow, tailor two Nikes.

I think that's the name of this episode.

I think.

Tailor too Nikes. Okay, yeah, I think we should take a break. We're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more Socoia Holmes and more. My mama told me, because.

I'm looking at him, he will smell good.

I feel good, and you sing good and make love good. Oh it's the oh at the end. I think that always, at least for me.

Yeah, the whole thing. And I just see his face.

Like he's high as ship.

You had a good cracked face. You see some bad crack faces out on the street. James Brown pretty good cracked face.

He went out of here. He went out of here exactly looking exactly like we expected him to look. Yeah, that's pretty good.

You can't say most people can't say that.

I don't think so. I think a bunch of you crackheads are gonna die ugly, but not James Brown. Anyway, we're back here.

It's to go home.

So it's a little talking about the possibility that by gifting shoes you are you are enabling your partner to walk out of your life. Now you've been very clear. I think up to this point, although your language in the original conspiracy suggested otherwise, that you think that this is a largely male issue, that it is gifting men the gifts rather than women receiving the gifts.

I do you know why, because it's the phrasing of the conspiracy walk out it's something men do. Leave, it's something women.

You know, this is what I'm here for. It's a strange. What do you think is a more negative connotation walk out or leave?

I think walkout is a more negative connotation. Do y'all know the song leave by Jojo?

Of course?

You know that's a that's a girl power song. Like that song does a lot for my spirit, gives a lot needs to do.

When you think thirteen year old really inspires you? Hell did.

One no not not jojo Jojo jojo Jo no no no no, no brother, there was a there was Joe, There was Jojo of Casey and Jojo, and then in in around two thousand and three, there was a white child named Jojo who had a hit song and has since become very thick.

Uh.

And and that woman.

She absolutely has, Yeah, she has gotten very thick, and that that hit song has has kept her in our general sort of like cultural lexicon for damn near twenty years.

Yes, damn, I missed this completely.

Wow.

Yeah, no, it it was a good song. It was a hit.

Yeah, No, that was definitely hit.

But walk Out implies Dad said he's gonna go get milk and never came back. It feels familiar, right, It's like you walked out to go do something you just never returned. It's like some level of deception there versus leeve I left, get out right now.

It's the end of you and me. It's the whole break up song, right.

I dare say that this feels like a little bit of women resetting the standards a bit. I think you're cherry picking quite a bit inside of this, but I respect the way you're of cherry picking. I can't necessarily dispute it.

As a man. I will say I have left you have left, straight up left, Yeah, without a trace.

So you walked out like I thought.

Okay, agreed to disagree. I know the kids.

With without a Trace implies the walk out to me.

I don't know, I don't know.

No, I wasn't even a w I had a smoke bomb. I was sucking out of there. I reappeared in a safe way parking lot, just like so.

I did a little bit of research on your conspiracy theory that I would love to unpack with you. Some of it, I think most of it, I would say, is as gendered as the argument you are making that the original sort of conception of this seems to be specifically about men receiving shoes as a gift from women,

Okay, we're getting somewhere. It sounded real.

Yeah, yeah, once you throw mandarin in.

Yeah, it makes it ancient. It makes it like a more like we undug of artifact, you know what I mean.

Anything that takes place on continental Asia I trust wholehearted.

I don't want to do all that I went to I went to China one time, and we were riding on trains that had like just holes in the ground where you were supposed to like shit in pee. So I don't know how to go that far.

And it's yeah, yeah, yeah, China, I.

Lived a life, baby.

Maybe that's how you're supposed to ship and pee. Lin Ston, I don't know, did you try it?

I didn't know. I held it for seventeen hours.

You did even pee down there? Down there?

I think I peed I think I paid.

I was.

We were. This was back when I was a teacher and I got chosen as the teacher liaison for our exchange kids. So we went on a trip to China and rode a train from Beijing to Shian, which is a seventeen hour train ride overnight, and that multiple points woke up to people like in our rooms just staring at me and the other black children because they had never seen black people before.

You're joking, No, like.

Middle of the night, there's just a man being like, whoa. This feels like what the fuck? And it's unnerving. Shit, for sure, very unnerving.

Okay, so okay, as a black person might be a little bit scary.

But yeah, you know.

So some of the other sort of like problems, or at least one of the problems I sort of found in unpacking some of this research is that beyond this suggestion of the correlation between bad luck and shoes in Mandarin, a lot of the evidence seems to be rooted in

She got walked out on exactly.

Exactly, because I'll be honest, because every single person making these videos always got like weird stringy hair and the tank tops falling off on one side.

Because they got walked It.

Does feel like their lives fell apart at the sort of like end of these relationships. And I don't know if that's their fault or the shoeman, but one way or the other, it seems to be an issue.

We need to get some more shoeman.

On here, we do. It would be nice to have a shoeman like a man who's like, collected a fair amount of shoes and walked out and to hear his perspective.

Linksen, has your wife ever bought you shoes?

My wife has bought me shoes, and I think about leaving every day, but.

Look there it is.

Wait. I have a question, So when when these men bought you the shoes that you walked out and did you do you feel like you knew like when you got the shoes where you about, Oh, I'm about to put these on.

And that's a great question.

When I got the shoes I was like, this is a bad omen. This is you know, it's like this all right, but you know, thank you. The first one was with some hairachis. That was when I was like maybe nineteen and then or not, yeah, no, not Harachis.

What are the roach runs?

That's what the first one was.

Oh that's a very generic you know.

It was like it was a pink roach run did leave, and then it was the Harahis also left but sent those backs. So I feel like that's kind of a balancing act. And now I'm shoot up. I have a plethora of shoes, a bounty if you will, and I'm here.

I'll be staying, so it's good.

I'm here. Doesn't that's not a good omen for the relationship.

Either at all. I'm here right, I'm here right.

But Porter doesn't care about these types of things, like even what I tell him, like, oh you don't like buy shoes? He's like enough anyway.

So I'm not going to play this game. You know, well, I couldn't be prouder of them. They're one of my issues, and Bory, i'd be curious to hear your thoughts on this. One of my issues with this conspiracy theory and This was a problem for me is that I've been with my wife for almost eight years now, right, and if I am buying gifts the way that I am meant to buy gifts, We're talking birthdays, We're talking the holiday season, We're talking Valentine's Day, and now Mother's Day. I'm two

That is a lot, it's a lot of gifts.

Just toss the money thought she was going by the shoes.

Are you trying to convince me that buy that giving a woman the gift of money?

No? No, no, this is what tell me give it a cash like that.

I feel barely certain that just handing her an envelope filled with one hundred and eighty six dollars would not would not cover it.

Hey, Pimpsy always said it ain't trick if you're married.

There you okay, there you go.

No, I'm kidding. It's tricking too.

It's still trigging fly that.

That seems fine to me personally.

I don't know. I don't know, Yeah, I don't.

I don't think that that's gonna fly in the old Kerman household.

But day you good looking out on it?

Yeah, that's specific on the envelope cover. That's that's all it is. You put SPA on it, and it's the Mother's Day gifts.

Hey, baby girl, I pulled this out of our joint checking account.

You saw me do it. You thought I was drunk at the improv last night.

No, no, no, you know how we pool money. Well, I took some of that money and I'm giving it back to you.

Just take it from the baby college fund.

And then.

The chances are these days a baby is going to college, especially you're kind of raising a neo baby. It's might not need it. That's what.

That's definitely my hope. Affirmative action is no longer a thing. She's not going to be able to lean on any of her her rich black history growing up as a rich girl in l A. Uh. Yeah, I'm rich for right now, two strikes in. I'm doing okay, but no, I do think that maybe there's no reason for college funds. And then at that point, yeah, you have the money, you can just get envelopes and ship.

Right, and you buy your baby shoes, right, So you buy your you buy your shoes, shoes. Nobody's left yet, so it might be fine. But have you been bought shoes by your wife?

I have?

I have, I've bought her shoes. We we seem to be working.

And like you said, he contemplates it every day.

There be no legitimacy here.

I don't know.

I'm gonna stick with it. I'm gonna stand behind it, but I'm happy told.

My experience is not enough to shift you towards a more open mind as it relates to shoes.

Certainly, Well, here's a big question, Likeston. Previously, because you had a life before your wife, you were often trying to gallivanti you doing God knows what. Gotta knows what. Has a woman ever bought you some shoes and you did walk out in said shoes?

Uh, I don't think i've ever received before my wife. I can't remember a person who bought me shoes before my wife.

Good.

You shouldn't be able to remember anybody before your wife in the first place.

What hey, hey, I remember some.

Of them.

I remember pretty good. And uh, but no, I don't think that I was receiving shoes as a gift, and I will say that if and that was part of my issue inside of this too, is I think it's really important that we unpack which shoes you got from the person, because if they're ass, like, if they're bad shoes, that's enough to make me reconsider a lot of things in this relationship, you know what I mean.

But then you also got to put them on to walk out, so you got to be like, these shoes are ass, But then you wear them, you know what I'm saying, Like, you still gotta wear them if you're gonna walk out, well said.

Have you ever had one of those days where like, you put on an outfit, a gift, whatever, and then you go through the day in this ship and you just feel dumber and dumber and less confident and less confident. Imagine that, right, Imagine that experience, and then you're like, fuck it, I'm leaving, I'm done.

You know what, I'm actually a little scared now. Because it just down on me that I absolutely have bought that man shoes.

Oh, I bought him.

Some bands because he specifically mentioned that he wanted some vands, some lace up high time folks.

So I bought some damn bands.

Folks. We got a liar on the podcast. We gotta really we got a goddamn liar here on the podcast. Takoya, you've you've been dishonest this whole time?

Changes everything?

How dare I? I can't believe. I am so sorry.

Because what I'm hearing right now is your partner is the only person and Langston are the only So it's fifty to fifty, right because Garret's never caught shoes and walked out. You have Langston has an I have, So then it's like it cancels out.

Yeah, now we're neutral.

Me and Eric are not married. So I don't know that you could leave in the bands tomorrow.

For all I know, I don't know it could. It's still a possibility. You know, it's not how marriage walk this wifstail out there.

Don't feel that it does.

I feel that it does.

Okay, so this is surely just a dating issue for you. This is not once it becomes more formally committal. We were good.

Sign on the dotted line, and all that goes away.

I think, now we're buying each other's stuff off.

Now we could buy shoes.

I don't know that my wife bought me shoes before we were married.

She know something, she probably Yeah, yeah, you should ask her about this afternoon. Yeah.

She's a sneaky snake, that one. So I bet she probably. I bet she probably was avoiding getting me shoes until I I committed more substantially.

You never know.

Yeah, that's.

So.

One of the other things that I tried to look up or thought would be helpful to look up, is how long the average relationship lasts, right, Like, I think weighing into some of that factors into how we interpret this conspiracy theory. And according to Google, the average relationship is two years and nine months long.

No, okay, that can't be true.

That's that's the average.

Yes, I think that's too long. That average. They're saying average relationships are two years and nine months.

I think it makes sense, right because they're saying that seventy percent.

All right, maybe I'm just broken. All right, we'll take it, We'll walk Like.

This sounds like it sounds like somebody's never hit the average.

It's extra nine months. That's the whole baby.

So what they also say is that seventy percent of relationships and within the first year, seventy percent are done before a year is up.

That makes sense.

They take a man to pick out like that at all.

Yeah, but then that math is crazy. If seventy percent and within the first year, then the only the other thirty If those are relationships, then there's only thirty percent relationships that go past two years nine months with then the average camp be two years nine months.

Well, I think this feels like hustling backwards. Brother, I think I need I need this, I need this now, you're right. The math, the math that's man. Yeah, beat up that man's power.

Math. This is insane. I knew it, I knew right.

Well, yeah, you're perfectly normal.

Yeah, don't send us any fucking emails with the math. I was thankingle for the other math emails. Don't fucking don't. Don't pull up on this one.

Yeah, we don't. We don't need you making my man feel bad because you want to show him exactly why he hasn't made it.

As long as we've figured it out. I'm regular as hell.

I've gotten to that.

Yeah, two years long. I had two for two years, but that feels like two years, not months. I don't believe it. Two years, two years and a long time, two years and a baby average.

Yeah, that's fair.

I'm telling it seems.

One of the other things that that I wanted to find out is based off of that information, what are the most common causes for breakups? And according to the list that I found, uh, Hurachi's unfortunately not on the list. They're not mentioning Hirachi's vans.

And none of the New Balances have ended some sh.

New Balance was number twenty six. Uh, not hate but balance.

But no, I love New Balances, but I feel like a lot of guys.

Were getting They're a polarizing choice. I think we can all agree on that.

Do you hate New Balances? I don't.

I don't hate them, but I think you're gonna get a You're gonna get a bold reaction from whoever you give them to.

Okay, we got maybe maybe.

I'm just thirty six and when I grew up, we beat up kids with New Balanced shoes.

So you know now you're you're not from Uh, you know from like DC.

No, and maybe that's the problem. Maybe I just wasn't from where they make them at. So we were like nigga, that's trash. That said, we were also wearing case twists, so like Chicago's got that, we got to impact.

I forgot got about case Swiss, sure.

Me too, that was old. They stripes too many.

There was a lot of stripes on the case list.

Too many stripes.

Case Swiss in the Midwest was an infestation that I and I was. I was bitten by those rats.

So originals, right, or did you have like crazy No, I wasn't getting white ones.

You get the white those. Yeah, those were your two options.

Nothing could be worse than the infestation of phone posits that's still taking place in DC today.

On the East coast in general, let it go yeah this time.

Yeah, phone posits they had, They had a very unfortunate rise in the in the like early well late early, not so like two thousand and eight to twenty like twelve. That were going crazy. And now we got to put those down.

Babies. We gotta yellow ones come out, remember the bright yellow ones.

Yeah, never any phone positives, never once me either.

But I was broken. I got a weird ankle. It's not good for fact ankles. It's not it's not a good fact.

I just didn't. I knew I couldn't. Whatever I was supposed to be doing that wasn't. That wasn't where I was supposed to be, you know what I mean?

It didn't include phone positive. I'm proud of you for that. I'm happy for Yeah.

Get I was like, this ain't this ain't mine. This ain't my culture. I'm not. I don't get it. I'm gonna stay over here.

Yeah, good for you. I'm gonna weave my case switches on. Tight up, tight, tie up, real tight.

So so, the leading causes, or at least what they claim is the leading causes for breakups are the top five, and this list was twenty six long. But the withdrawing during arguments apparently was the number one cause for relationships dissolving. Withdrawing during arguments.

Someone say, someone say walking away, walking away, but that's or even you know, it's different.

Not agreeing on big picture decisions was number two. Holding your partner to unrealistic standards was number three. Being afraid of being alone and subsequently avoiding conflicts so that you can keep that person was number four, and then finally relying on body language to convey feelings.

It was number five.

So no shoes, not one mention of Rebok classics. Sir, whatever the.

Fuck we heard it in the first one they said walking away, walking out, it was right there. You gotta read between the lines, open your third eye.

Please, damn damn.

I got what.

I do think that that if I were to make a choice inside of this for myself, and I recognize I'm not gonna change your mind, Sequoya, even for a second, I do feel like at the of this, it feels like people are blaming shoes for a bunch of failures that are probably already happening inside of their relationships, that that it's less about the shoes themselves and more about the communication that that probably led to you feeling like I'm gonna buy you some custom, Hirachis, even though you

And he scrolls all the way to the cheetah print. That's like a deep like you don't you don't put the cheeta print the first place that you placed it on the Nike ID. That was like, let me try the tongue. No wait, like he went around with the cheetahprint, so he really put.

I appreciate the throw.

Yeah, poor god. I mean, don't cry for him. You said the shoes. This man is a hero, because I'm not. I'm not worried about him.

He got he got those shoes framed and put up somewhere.

He found another short but big footed girl. He can reuse the shoes.

For a big, all long told girl that he can. He can make feel about him the way you you never could.

Losing a Bulevards, I hope that that happened for him.

Bory, where do you fall in this? Where? Ultimately? Where are you in this conspiracy?

I wanted all episodes to be I think that I think I fall under. This is probably a common coincidence. I think shoes are just a common I want it to be real, but I think shoes are a pretty common gift to get somebody specifically, like I said, when the ship is sinking. So yeah, I think it's because we have as many people who have done it as who have not. So it feels like, well, actually, I guess we just take the numbers right now, sixty six have it. So I mean well, Olivia.

Yeah, have you have you bought shoes for your partner and and or a partner in the past, has shoes been a gift that you've led to or gone with rather.

Or also received you walked out? This is a bad memory, all received.

Okay, I'm stuck. She is married, she has a very lovely husband and uh and she's stuck with them now because of those those sweet shoes.

Those sweet.

So they might be anchors to you know, they anchored the relationship, relationship.

That's a beautiful way.

I like that shoes. Shoes are a commitment gift. You're either in or you're out with shoes. There is no once shoes start crossing the line, you got to make a bold choice. And it seems like a lot of brothers are making important choices when they walk out of these women's lives, not just the criminal ones. Men are heroes and women have a lot to learn. I think we I then we got to the bottom of it. That's all we need to take.

That's about Yeah. Yeah, you're right, that was a great wrap up. I never I mean, of God, beautiful watch.

Thank you so much. Sequoya. Could you tell the people where they can find you? And what cool shit you have going on.

Yes, you can listen to my podcast Black People Love Paramore anywhere you listen to podcasts. It's kind of about the underrepresented things that black people like. Their mainstream media doesn't necessarily associate with Black people like animate, Tony Hawk, Are on the grounde et cetera, et cetera. You can find me across social media platforms at Sequoia b homes and you can find my podcast at bpop Pod across social media platforms as well.

Hell yeah, so so yeah, go listen to the podcast, Go follow Sequoia.

She's great.

Boy. You want to tell the people where they can find you?

Cool that jokes eighty seven on Instagram. I'm going on tour the Flyers coming up today or tomorrow. Uh but yeah, and then the tour, bring David to Plate dot com for tickets. Go there and figure it all out. I'm coming to your city. I would love to see you. It's gonna be great. Hell yeah.

And as always, if you want to follow me, follow me at Langston Kerman on Instagram and now threads. I'm threadning, bitch.

I saw you on there. I went over there. I couldn't do it.

Bro, your first Your first thread was like, nah, I'm good and you've bounced, Yeah, knocking back. I thought it would be a bit, but you're like, no, I'm surely I can't do it.

I really hate it. It's positive.

Everybody high five each other right now.

Yet it's boring.

But it ain't negative, I guess is maybe the best way of putting it. It's a lot of just people recycling their old material hoping it's gonna make them go viral on this new platform. That said, it's not. Yeah, it's not going to make you healthier. It's just not it's not a it's not a sickness the way that Twitter is yet.

But it will.

It will get there, I have no doubt. Yeah, that said, you can follow me at Langston Kerman and uh my mama told me we got some dates coming up for you. We're still we're locking in the final piece of material that's going to allow us to announce this upcoming tour. Otherwise just send us your own Oh go ahead.

I was gonna say, can we say the cities we're going to just.

So they yes, Yeah, let's listen, all right.

I got them right here. We're going to Seattle, Los Angeles, Houston, Austin, Chicago, New York, and Pittsburgh.

Fuck yeah, so over August.

Basically, if you.

Live in any of those cities, you should come. And if you live near those cities, bitch, get in the car and come on by, as we want to see you. We want to see it, and you want to see us because because yeah, we're gonna be there and send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories. Tell us who walked out of your life at my mama pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you, and uh and that's it. Bye, bitch bye.

Look, if you hate cops just because of cops, the next time you get in trouble, call a crackhead.

My chips and your babies. All Kala bears are racist. The lasting money turny stuff.

I can't tell the

TECs me a hearty chamber