Motherfucking many years, so motherfucking many years. So yep, yep, there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we finally work to prove that theories that you the listeners have at home. It is time to hear your thoughts, the things that you send to me. He I don't know what that song is,
but it's it's a goddamn classic. If I could, if if I'm being honest, I might have wrote the new do a Leaper song. You know what I mean. I don't want to be the star in this situation. I just want to send that to do a Leaper and let her do. Let her do alipa her thing with it. You know what I mean? Do you do a lipa? That's what I always say. Anyway, I'm here to talk about actual funny ship and interesting ship that you all send me. And boy, oh boy, do I have a
good one today. This message, this I guess, uh theory, let's call it a theory based on the premise of this podcast. We'll call it a conspiracy theory. Perhaps this conspiracy theory comes to me from a gentleman named Demetrius. He preferred to be called Demetrius, and Demetrius sent me a message. He did not record it. Apparently he similarly has a bit of a speech impediment and is a little shy about me hearing that sweet that sweet snaggle puss.
You know what I mean, that sweet parcel mouth. He didn't want me to hear it, but he said, my mama told me that Pokemon is the devil. That's what Demetrius said, and he goes on to say a bunch of stuff he said. Backstory on this, I much like other children collected Pokemon shipped back when it hit the scene in the US, and I was in grade school at the time. If you didn't funk with Pokemon, you were the weird kid. Or maybe I was just a geeky motherfucker and I didn't realize that at the time.
Either way, For years, I was racking up cards and merch playing the Nintendo games, watching the show the whole nine I was a black ass catchman. You couldn't tell me ship. Then out of nowhere, some minister I don't remember who it was got up on national television and went full on fire and brimstone about Pokemon from the pulpit. My mom gets ahold of this and then has me back up all my Pokemon and throw it away. Her answer was, we ain't letting the devil up in our house.
That sounds like a Kanye lyric, and I appreciate that. My question to you, Lanston, what could compel a man, a grown ass clergyman who has devoted his life to preaching the Gospel to the hearts of mankind to come after some imaginary Japanese characters from a game that if you played beyond the age of sixteen, people would look at you funny, but their immediate reaction isn't to reach for the Holy water, maybe the pepper spray, but not the crucifix. What kind of mysterious demons is that yellow
bitch Pikachu hiding in them poke balls? What kind of root is that fat bitch Jigglypuff trying to put on God's children? Help me out lengths and many apologizes for making fun of my speech im betterment, which I didn't even read that part of the email, But it's important that you know I'm being as transparent with you all as I possibly can at all times. That said, Demetrius, I would love to dig into this conspiracy theory as
I was a bit of a Pokemon fanatic myself. Now I was collecting basketball cards, and as a kid, I was much more of a basketball cards kid. But I did love playing Pokemon the game. I enjoyed all Pokemon television programming. I was a big Pokemon head. I used
to those songs like Nobody's Business Boy. I knew all one hundred and fifty Pokemon at one point and now I could name about twelve of them before I get bored and tired and feel like maybe this was all just a big stupid ploy by some weird men who wanted to draw pictures of animals and animals with human legs, you know what I mean. That's pretty much the whole theory. The whole thing with Pokemon is like, what if we drew uh, what if we drew a rhinoceros but it
had people legs, that'd be pretty cool. And then they drew it and then they were like, yeah, that's a that's that's rhino dog. And you're like, yeah, I guess I gotta collect that motherfucker. It's pretty tight. But as foolish let's get back to the conspiracy theory. As foolish as this conspiracy theory sounds, it does remind me of exactly how powerful pokemon Mania was during the late nineties. I mean, Pokemon cards at one point were the most
valuable thing in the world. They were more valuable than pussy and pt cruisers. I would have killed my neighbor's dog to get my hands on a hologram Dragon Night, do you know what I mean. I would have done anything to just get a taste of some of that that sweet Pokemon magic. That said, I did do some research, and I tracked down the video in reference, the exact video that you're referring to here, Demetrius, and I'm gonna play a little bit of it now because I think
it's important. It's gonna help lay some context for exactly why this preacher is so upset. Important for the church to deal with issues as they come to the forefront in society, said Son, what is that? One morning? He said, that's up, that's Pokemon. Son. I found out that Pokemon mains pocket monster. Pokemon is Pokemon plural or incredible creatures that share the world with humans. Each has his own fighting to realities. Some grow and ebolb and even more
powerful creatures. The children are developing relationships with all these Pokemon creatures, little reclusive, power filled monsters. Why should they carry these monsters in their pocket? They say, The Pokemon whole effort is to train children how to become the number one Pokemon master in the world. You follow up through the New Age teach and you find out the masters of those who take control of spirits in the dark realm, and they tell those spirits what to do.
The child, at some point becomes capable of taking these powers and channeling them through their mind, through their arms, or through their power sources. Power sources, of course, are many of the symbols that they pick up from the Pokemon paraphernalia. So so Pokemon is a game they teach us children how to enter into the world of witchcraft, how to cast spell, how to use psychic phenomena, how to but work supernatural powers against their enemies, how to
fantasy role play Pokemon world. There's a world a little bit demonic of the satanic, But why you might not take it quite seriously. I assure you that demons take it quite seriously. Satan takes it quite seriously. Your children knew need to know those a devil and he hates him and he wants to ruin their life. There we go, There we go. I think we learned a lot. There's
the devil. He wants to ruin your life, and there's no better way to ruin your life than through jiggly Puff, that fat bitch with his microphone singing a Sirens song, a Satan on him in your ears. That's how the devil's gonna get you, children, and Pokemon is helping to do it. Now, the video in reference comes from this, you know, as you can plainly hear this white mega pastor whose name I didn't care to even look up, reaching or presort of preaching about the dangers of allowing
Pokemon into your children's lives. Basically, his biggest hang up is that the child controlling the powers of the monsters in their pockets allows them to connect with the devil. The devil being connected to the monsters, that that he's equating the Pokemon and they're casting of spells or wielding a power to the same work that Satan does. Now, although this language from this guy is particularly crazy. It's not completely isolated. He wasn't one of one at this point.
In fact, in there was an article from the Associated Press. That's right, the A p A. I think, uh pretty respected source and nowadays or certainly has been for many years. But the Associated Press had an article that they wrote titled Pokemonsters up Crime, and in that article they were clount incidents of fights, of robberies, and even stabbings related
to Pokemon cards, specifically amongst school children. The article even included safety tips they told they talked about like kids being stabbed in bathrooms and hit with trash cans all while they fight over Pokemon cards, rare Pokemon cards. Sometimes not rare Pokemon cards. Some kids got fucking shanked for
seventy sent like basic bitch pack of cards. The point is the article even included safety tips for how parents can handle their children's safety in relation to their card collections, basically telling a bunch of parents not to let their kids leave the house with the Pokemon cards, not to invite friends over and leave them alone in a room where the Pokemon cards are being kept, not to allow kids to to buy more than a a certain amount of Pokemon cards that are time all with the possibility
that these cards might introduce violence and danger into their lives sound pretty demonic to me. Sounds pretty of the Devil if you ask me. And this this is interesting. Similarly in n Burger King, you know, uh, the King of Burger's, which also sounds like it might have some some connections to the Devil, but we'll we'll get into that on another day. But the Burger King, the Burger King. I don't know if anybody is referred to it as
the Burger King. I think it's just regular as Burger King. Anyway, Burger King had to recall a bunch of Pokemon accessories after a small child suffocated to death after putting one of their pokey balls, one of the poke ball toys that they were giving away with their meals, on its face. Basically, the baby put the poke ball half a pokey ball
on its face and then it died. And then Burger King had to be like, hey, y'all, y'all don't get poke balls no more because because this baby couldn't handle it. So now everybody nobody gets poke balls. Now. What feels like is being missed in a lot of these articles and reports. Is how many of these situations could have been controlled by the adults in these children's lives. Now, I don't want to blame any parents of a dead child. That's not something I'm into, you know what I mean.
I ain't doing that and that's not my place. Yeah, if if a baby dies, I'm not gonna be like, hi, you should have did more, And I'm not gonna do that. But unless the poke ball is attaching to the child's face like one of those flying pussies in the Alien movie, you should probably be able to stop them from smothering themselves. I don't know if it's your fault, but you could
have done something similarly. Quite a bit of the main year around the pokey paraphernalia was driven by grown men and women who were spending insane amounts of money, oh for and over again, trying to collect these items, just insane amounts of money to create sexless rooms and their sheds with pictures of cartoon children holding electric rats. It's it was a wild time. The Willennium really sobered us
up quite a bit. Long story short, It just feels weird to call something demonic Before we point to consumerism as a more likely cause for concern relating to Pokemon. I don't know if this is as much the devil as money and the want for expensive, rare things is the devil, and Pokemon just happened to be a symptom of that demonic work. But who do I what do I know? I'm just a motherfucker who talks alone and
uh in his baby's nursery. Uh. You know, my my kid isn't here yet, so I get to keep recording my podcast next to uh, a bunch of unpacked boxes and a pretty well built crib. I'll say that we put the crib together, and I we built the ship out of it, and I hope, I hope it's a crib that stays sturdy and strong and never is a place where my baby suffocates it herself with a poke ball. That's my main wish. Anyway, This talk of Pokemon being demonic did, however, remind me of a very popular rumor
from when I was growing up. I don't know if you guys had a bunch of Pokemon rumors, but one of the more popular Pokemon rumors that I remember when I was growing up was this rumor that the Japanese version of Pokemon was substantially more graphic than it's American counterpart. That like, when you watched the anime, the real anime from Japan, that motherfucker is just filled with violence and in blood and gore, and occasionally you could see Nurse
Jenny's titties. It was it was supposedly like in Staneley graphic, and as it turns out that that was partially true. I did some research and there was definitely some blood and more indication of the Pokemon actually being hurt. There were Pokemon that were decapitated, cutting half and ship at times, but it wasn't as extreme as we had been led to believe, do you know what I mean? It wasn't that when they cut them in half, they weren't like intestines,
weren't like flowing out into the into the grass. It was more of just like, oh, they're actually real repercussions for some of these pokey battles. That said, I don't think you ever could see any of Nurse Jenny's uh meat on Maine, you know what I mean? She wasn't showing no meat on Maine, oh, Nurse Jenny. And that's a shame that that really is a shame because we could have all used a little Nurse Jenny titty during Y two K Nothing would have comforted in me more,
you know what I mean. I was stressing of me and my family were buying up cans of corn and beans at the possible ability that the computers were shut down, and boy would I have I have slept a little easier knowing that Nurse Jenny had had some some nudes out there, you know what I mean. So still not a lot of evidence of it being demonic, as it is more an example of human beings maing grossly obsessive to the point of hurting ourselves, which maybe is just
the devil hiding in plain sight. I guess, damn, that's pretty deep. I don't know. The last thing that it got me wondering about, and this is the last thing I'll say on this matter, is it made me curious. And this is something I think I've long wondered, and maybe we've all long wondered, is what happens inside of those pokey bowls? Do you know what I mean? For those of us unfamiliar with the way that pokemon works, basically, the pokemon are allowed to roam freely under their master's
will out in the world. Well, first they're free, then a master breaks their spirit and locks them in a poke ball. And then at the point that they're fully turned into animal slaves, they are called from those pokey balls to to fight other Pokemon, and then they're called back into the balls. Whether they win or lose the balls, there's no reward for winning that fight. They pretty much get treated like ship at all times. But it got me wondering what actually happens inside of the poke balls.
For any X Men fans, this is where my brain goes. You know that there are some suggestions that Cyclops does not actually shoot lasers from his eyeballs, but instead his eyes are a portal to a dimension exploding with energy. So when he opens his eyes, he is merely connecting us to this much more sinister, hellish dimension, and that is what's shooting out of his eyeballs. It is not lasers. It's like fucking hell fire and brimstone that's firing from
his fucking face. Is it possible that all said, Is it possible that the poke balls are simply a portal to an evil, demonic dimension where the animals are trained to introduce devil ship to our most innocent selves. WHOA, WHOA. Is it possible that that's what happened? What's happening? Or alternatively, is that creature dude just mad at Pokemon because he's in a loveless marriage and his pains is weird. It's
hard to know. Perhaps we'll never know, but I think that pretty much covers all of the questions that were put in front of me. I hope this makes you feel, I guess, more confident, Demetrius. Maybe you'll go take down your mother. Maybe you'll finally be able to challenge her and be like, Mom, give me my fucking Pokemon cards back. I'm forty six years old and I want my goddamn Pokemon. I don't know why you would be forty six in
this story. That really implies that you were way too old to be dealing in Pokemon cards at the time that you were dealing with them. But that's what I picked your forty six, Demetrius, and I'm not gonna change my mind. You could write me letters. You could try to to show me your I D. You could send me a copy of your birth certificate. You forty six bitch, and I know there's nothing you can do about it.
That said, I really appreciate you writing to me, and I appreciate all you stupid horrors for writing to me. It it makes nothing makes me happier than to read your messages. If you want to send me messages about demonic anime and and bullshit that your mother probably says in relation to those demonic enemies, please send those messages to my mama pod at gmail dot com. I would
love to hear from you. Do Die, Do Die. If nothing would make me happier than to be able to to talk about whatever the funk is on your mind. I've been getting some really fun ones lately, and I'm gonna unpack a bunch of them. Some of them AM gonna ignore because they make me uncomfortable, but others I'm definitely gonna dig into. And if you can send me one that doesn't make me uncomfortable, well, in god damn it, we we've got a deal. Shake on it, because we've
we've got a goddamn deal. You've got yourself a deal anyway. You can follow me at Langston Kerman and please remember to like and subscribe and and do all the things, write a review, say say nice things or horrible things. There have been a few people who have been disappointed with some of my my opinions quote unquote opinions as of late. And to that, I say, hey, I don't know, I'll just be talking and uh, sometimes talking ain't fun
for everybody, but it's always fun for me anyway. By Bitch Mother Mother mothers so mini episode motherfucking mini episell h m hm