Passing Gas (with Langston Kerman and David Gborie)

can't tell me. Yep, yep, yep. There it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy duties and we finally worked to prove that Tray Young's barber is giving him that haircut to keep him humble and striving for whatever can be achieved beyond his natural talents. The man is given him a haircut of a champion. Not what that is, bald, is the haircut of a champion if

we're talking rings and he's close to it. Whatever that whispy level of of a hairstyle is. That's as close to bald as I've ever seen. It is the ghost of hairstyles past. That ship came to you at midnight on Christmas. It looked like his father's father was electric and it passed down generations. You know, you know what he looks like. He looks like you saw a ghost and then the ghost saw him and and everybody was scared. It's like he's like, I'm taking something from you. Yeah. Uh,

I'm Legstein Kerman. I have all of my hair. I'm David Bores. I still got mine, don't you know. I don't have a lot of faith in forever. You don't think you're gonna I think it's I think it's I think it's whoa for you? Are you speaking for you or for for both of us? And I'm speaking solely for me. You should could go tomorrow. You have zero faith in my hand, no, none of that. That that light skin, it's too soft for this world. There's course

from the earth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't. I don't know why that that makes me believe in it more, But you're right, it does make me believe that your hair is gonna hold on stronger because yeah, your hair was your hair was too soft to last. Yeah, I'll be honest, I'm making these trade young jokes, and a part of me is like, I know what happened there? I see your brother. I could be there today. Now is it happening? Because I do have like a chunk,

my ship is better right now. I do have a chunk out of my hairline that my barber has to like. But that's from childhood, that's not that's always. Yeah, I haven't had any like recession. What I do have is like a little bit in the front where uh ever, since I was a kid, it just doesn't come in quite as thick like it. It's almost like one of them weird white boy hairline type things. And so you know, you get a black man to correct whatever is not quite what it should be. But but no, I haven't

lost anything yet. How curly? How curly is your hair? I don't know why I'm I don't know why I'm squinted. Yeah, no, you seem hello suspicious of me. How curly was your hair at eleven o six pm last night? No, I believe it, I just because now it looks straight, But is that because it's low. Yeah, it's just because it it curls big, you know what I mean. It's not like tight tight coils the way that like, uh, your your African eyes hair might be like that. I think

it's a positive. I just think it's more dangerous air and we gotta keep an eye on it. I keep it this way with fruits and nuts from the forest, just wandering through there, pushing them through your fingers, like yeah, yeah, yeah, that's basically what black castor oil is. I think. So just smashed up stink berries because that it smells weird. Yeah, the unscented one. No, never once. They will smell it on the train, for sure. Fun stink berries? What are

stink berries? I made it up, you know what. I believed that so much. I politely wait until we got to the end of the conversation to be like, I gotta I gotta check back in on these stink berries. No, I thought that I got away with it. It's it's made up, fun all right. Well, learning a lot today, folks, and we haven't even started the episode. This is this

is gonna be a doe low. It's me and David together, no guests slowing us down with their Look, if you hate cops just because the cops, the next time you get in trouble, call it crackhead. Yeah, call a crackhead because this just us bitch. Yeah, I don't have their

phone number. Yeah I didn't. That's the craziest part. He's like, we all got crackheads phone numbers, which, honestly, maybe that's the most honest part of that ad where he's like, yeah, no, honestly, I do get good with crackheads, and that's why I behave this way. I mean, yeah, we we are. We're doing this together, but we have a topic that we we need to dive into the topic of discussion, which I presented to the group this this past weekend, and I think is a is one that I've I've wrestled

with for years now, but I'm excited about this. The topic is my mama told me there's no difference between regular and premium gas. Tell me, oh yeah, now, because then, thank you so much. But because I presented this to the group, I guess my question is where do you fall in in reference to whether or not this is in fact a real thing. I think you're completely wrong WHOA And I don't even drive like that. Whoa, And by that I mean at all, I don't have a driver.

This feels like absolutely you're turning them or I mean, like a motherfucker you don't even believe, Like no, I don't. I don't I believe that they exist. I'm not a second I see him zoom zoom outside my window and an anti car. As long as I've met you, that doesn't. That has nothing to do with what this is. And I'm gonna do with this now of a sudden. You have a deep passion for premium gasoline. This is what I don't. I'm telling you that there are a difference

between gasoline types, is all. It's just like milk types or orange juice types or any other liquid they sell us. Are you going places and like demanding the milks the brand certain brands of milk. First of all, I don't drink milk at all. Okay. Second of all, it's not a branding thing. It's a liquid content thing. It's not like I'm not like I need the Dairy Gold milk. But there's a difference between two percent milk and whole milk.

And then sure, okay you're not. So it's not a brand issue for you, concentration issue through across or whatever the funk is the de fact levels and and percentages and ship for you, just like levels and uh gasoline. M M. Now, So here's if I may, yeah, if I may, volley, I my I believe that principally that is probably true, right, that that there is a difference in terms of of the different ways that they could cut this ship, move this ship whatever it is to

make it do what it's supposed to do. Theoretically, my argument would be that they have every reason to tell us some premium ship is premium ship when in fact it isn't and still get money off of the thing, presuming premium costs more to produce, which is the reason that it costs more to make. There's they have every reason to not give me premium and tell me it is, because who's tasting it to know the difference. I don't know if that's how you tell the difference. And that's

why this is a show about learning. You think they're got to be like, oh, yeah, that's I think they rub it on at the top of their gums like police officers testing cocaine and they go, that's that good ship. Colombian. Yeah, I think, you know, I think the cars can tell the difference. You never met somebody with like a great car and they're like, oh, I don't put that trash in my car ever, But there's no part of you that that doesn't think that that person is just flexing

or and or and or being scammed. I think it's seventy. I think there's a science behind it. Just because I don't know the science behind it. I think there's a science behind the levels of I don't even know what the difference is supposed to what it's it's the three right, it's unladed, it's it's it's like whatever the the mid grade word is, and then it's premium, right, and you think it's all nonsense. I'm saying that that the difference maybe negligible, both to to our cars and to the

people that are selling us this ship. We're the only ones that are actually being punished and we're paying for it. But what's the negligible difference? Is it that little bit of optimal performance? Because that's like if that ship is gonna go from like, I don't know how cars work,

So this is gonna sound crazy. This could go either way, and I'm I'm excited for a definish what's like difference negligible, like the difference between going nine, the difference between going one test is that you think it's like nas and uh and fucking fast, and the furious said, don't play me out. I understand the internal combustion engine and the cylinders and they make the spark and then the pist. I get it. I'm not a fucking idiot, so I know what the difference between good and bad guys is

supposed to do. No Langston, I don't. And that carb and that's the corborat carburet it has carbonation like that. Still squinting, I don't think it's fair that you get to run the pad and and use the drops his weapons against me. I'll say that I feel like a victim in this space in a way that that I can't undo. This is like being punched in the head in the corner of the ring. I'm truly at a loss here. It's bewildering because you sound scared. I am scared.

I'm scared that the next thing I say will be enough of a connection to a reference that you have locked in at your favorite tips and it's gonna interrupt so that you can you can once again shame me for for there. It is all right, I'm gonna lay off of it for a minute so you can make

your point. Look, here's all I'm saying is is that I think there's a very real possibility that, like so many other things in this world, on this planet that we've seen be introduced as premium products that we find out are more or less the same as their generic version that could also exist in gasoline. I agree with you. I think they're making so much money. Is this where

you split hairs to make the more money? Because I don't think I think I don't that many people are buying the premium gas right, I don't think so either. I think I think it may very well just be people who are falling for the trick. And so many of us have have so little money frankly, that it's it's it's hard to make the choice to fall for that trick if you don't have to. How much? What do you drive? So up until this year, I've mostly

drove Honda Civics. That's where your boy's been at. But then we civics as argument, right, Okay, but that's I'm making point. But see, that's where you're sucking up is because up until this year, Honda Civic. But now I have a BMW X four because we needed a We needed like a bigger car for the family ship. The point to the point is this is the first time I've ever even had to pay for premium gasoline, not just as an adult, but legitimately my entire life. I've

never seen anyone pay for premium gasodly. I mean, maybe you're just broke. I think we were for quite a while, and that's that's part of it. No, that's such a lot. I was trying to I was trying to make myself feel better by making fun of you. That was not right. That's not right. Uh No, I have never are you getting me? We didn't even have a car of the decade, Like, we didn't have a car of the decade that we

lived in until after I graduated high school. Who I've never had a car that was up the decade there. So you were an eighties car in the nineties, who were in nineties car in the two thousand's so forth. In the nineties, we were eighties cars. Yeah, that's what happened. Two thousands. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got you. Goddamn tragic. It's not that yeah, you know, it's not it's not right right. We were the same way my dad. So

my dad's cars, I think have almost exclusively. He'd been hand me down vehicles from except for the last car he bought like ten years ago. Every car before that, like his parents or somebody in the family would have a car and they'd be like, you want a car, and he'd be like, hell yeah, and then he has a power. And remember when we first got a car on the lot, it was yeah, that's not it's a huge deal. And then my mom had like a minivan because there were a lot of us, and so like

that was, that was the deal. But it wasn't. You don't put premium in a minivan. You just let that. At my mom's house, there were four of us by the end of Are you the old I'm the oldest by farm twenty three years older than the next time or the last in line. Rather, oh wow, yeah, I'm fourteen years older. Wait. Wait, so it was three year old you and a bunch of babies in the minivan. No, it was I was, I was and they would not let me drive and somedays to Uh No, So I

was I was ten when my next sibling came. I was eleven when the one after that, and then I was thirteen for the one after that, and then twenty three for the one after that. Wow, your parents are spry, well, one of them is that that's my mom doing a lot of that work. And then I have a brother on my dad's side, so five in total. Yeah, she should have been put in premium in the minivan. Now you don't put no goddamn premium because it's a scam,

is what I'm saying. There were two. You have the BMW that you are charged with your child safety and you're doing it yourself. You don't even stand on this principle, right because a lady yells at me and demands it of me, not because I believe in it. You understand that that some some choices are for survival. My friend, this isn't this isn't what I want for myself. This is what's being offered to me through the world that I've created, and I'm too far in to turn back. Man,

that's difficult, Yeah, it is. Why Why are you? Yeah, it's heartbreaking, it's really heartbreaking stuff that I'm trying to explain to you. So if you were free and a bachelor, it's unletted gas a dog. I'm putting unletted gas in the BMW and I'm pulling the funk up. What's up? What are you going to night? Baby girl? Not as far as I'm going with my unletted gas know where to get No, I don't. I listen, man, I want this for you because I love a conspiracy as well,

but I don't think this is a conspiracy. So you're just trusting the government on this one to give us a trust big Gas. I trust trust Big Gas. I trust big Oil. I aligned with the saudiast on levels that you wouldn't even understand. Isn't their princess to me? Their kings and emperors and lords of the world to me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I I side with big oil on this one, and I just I think that manufacturing wise because there are high end other car products. M hm. You understand what

I'm staying. There's high end, there's high end oil, and there's shitty oil. Like for lubrication, there's there there for every there's gooding and a reason there is bad and free for everything that you're doing in that car, there's a good and a bad liquid. Why would gas not be the case as well? But what what I would argue is the most essential liquid to be inserting, so much so that we have to buy it sometimes multiple times per week, depending on how effective and or shitty

your car is. And so I think the question really is, like, if I had to up charge something, or if I had to do a little bit of a bait and switch on something, I'm not gonna do it with oil. You gotta deal with that every like what what is it three thousand miles or whatever the funk it is. Alternatively, if I do it with fucking gas, that's a daily ruse. There's a that's the most money I can be making, all right. I mean, I want to I want to hear. I want to I want to hear you take it

to the to the facts. I want to hear the research research. I've never said that before, nor have I truly ever mentioned in my life today, But hey, miss Davis, I'd like I'd like to read now, can we just read? I'm I'm done talking to my friends and or zoning off out the window. I would like read to read I'd like to finally finish Maniac McGhee. You guys, did you guys read that? I don't know what Maniac McGee is. No, you never had to read Maniac McGhee. Oh he sounds funny, though, No,

it's about black people. And then there was this little boy who I'm out with the black people and his name was Maniac McGee. He like untied, this giant knot and then they used to always call him fish belly because he was white. You've never don't look at me like, I've never heard of Maniac McGhee. But this is fast. You were a teacher, Yeah, and thank god I didn't give this to children. What were you reading? What were you what? No? No, goddamn. What an age group was this?

Olivia saying she read it too, and I it was a It was a popular book, fish belly? What what? What age group was Maniac McGhee targeted at I feel like between fifth and seventh grade. Okay, So this was back when books truly were our choice. This wasn't what they were they demanding this of you in the classroom, I believe. So it was like a book that we all Yeah, you had to like you know, how you would have to read you would all read a book communally.

It was one of those books. So you let a white person, why would you to read a book about a black boy whose name is no, No, no, whit. The white person was maniac, but white fish Belly was maniac at the pizza story, I understand it sounds like I'm having a stroke. Listen, I've never read Maniac. McGee. I'm excited it was about Sega. I hear, I hear what you both are saying. I don't know that it's addressing my larger concerns, but I understand that maybe I'm

just out of the loop. I didn't have maniac. Maybe it was regional, maybe specifically where y'all are from. The Givers. We never read The Giver and something. How you still fucking love The Giver? I love Maniac with you. I don't know what you want. I think different strokes, you know, and we both agree Different Strokes was great. Different Strokes No, I was more of Uh. I was Webster. Yeah, I like you like Webster better than Different Strokes. Yeah. Whoa.

I'll say this and let's let's have this debate now, and we have to go to break We've been talking for forever, but let's let's have this debate now so that we can clear the air on this Objectively, I would argue that Gary Coleman has had a funnier life than Emmanuel Lewis period. Yes, that that's yeah, he knows Garanti. Yeah, he went to he went to TV court one time. No, he was doing silly shit. Yeah, Emmanuel Lewis was boring. But I kind of like that as a kid. I guess.

I don't know. I just think I think Gary Coleman truly was one of the greatest talents this world has ever known, and we're never gonna We're not going to match that again. But here's what I'm telling you, is that, like, if you look up your Gary Coleman greatest your favorite parts about him, Yeah, it none of it is different strokes. No, I don't. I don't think so at all. I think his talent was really just being a silly person more

than appearing on nine sitcoms like Gambling. Yeah, just rolling his eyes funny, well into his fifties, you know what I mean. Like, it's it's not a real it's not a talent I want, but it is a talent that no one can replicate and therefore should be admired. Yeah, yeah, that's all I'm saying. But as but as a show, I think Webster was better. I look agree to disagree that there's they were just so goddamn funny on that different strokes. But I hear you and the thing song

was better for different strokes. You're really here. I don't think you're right about us, But you know what I mean, we already have a debate to have. We were still talking about gasoline. We're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more more lenks than more David and more, my mama told me. And we're back. Someone get this jickaboo await from me this. I have no comment on that sound drop. I think it's I think it's perfect. I think you did exactly what needed to be done.

Tell the people what we're doing. What do we do. We are discussing whether or not there's a difference between premium and regular unleaded fuel. I think that Langston, now that you have German engineering, you should understand that there's just a difference overall. I let me ask you this.

I I will first, I'll address what you're saying I have noticed a physical difference in the driving experience between my Honda and my BMW, I would be I would be lying if I said there was not a noticeable difference between the two vehicles and the ride, the the physical feel of the ride right, And you don't feel like the petrol is a part of that. I venture to guess that it is strictly because of the quality of the vehicles and not actually the gas that goes

into it. That's the stance that I'm taking in this. You still gotta you can't just love something. You gotta take care of it. You still the fuel has the fuel has something to do with it. Let me, am I the first person in your life that's that's ever presented this as an option. Am I the only person you've ever heard suggests this? No, of course, tell me about those others, those other uh brilliant few that that have stepped up to to have the real conversation. I

knew this door guy, he why do you? I can't get into it now? It's great, It's just you know, when you want to when you want to be able to, like feel like you're a champion, like a brilliant idea you don't want the first dude that follows to be door guy. But well, I'm trying to explain, but it was. He was. He was one of you know those guys

who always have five cars. Like he would always be like he would always have one and then he would have one that his wife was driving, and they were always simultaneously fixing them up to flip them and give it, you know what I mean. And just like he was just like that. He's the guy who had cars and he had a rental for some reason all the time. He just always had I don't know, man always had

cards very long braids. I don't know if there's a correlation, but he was just talking about he was like he would just talk about how, yeah, there's a difference between there's just a difference between gases. So sometimes when his wife has the Toyota Solara, they can use regular cars. But then something about like a closed there's something like a closed engine, right, like something like that where the I don't I don't know, man, but he just said that he was a car guy and he said gasses

were different. I also have a friend Brent, So this is a person that's disagreeing with me. No, he's disagreeing with you. I also have a friend Brent, who has five cars, who I talked to you this morning about his Accura and he said that there's a difference between gasses. He's the most card out person I know. So, so the question of whether or not there are other people in your life who agree with me, You're like, none at all. I guess maybe, but I've always like I've

paid them no mind because they're obviously haters. Nothing about that here. I am here, I am hating on big Gas. And Yeah, and it's a minority owned company, Langston, those swaggy ass bush hush twins. It's a minority owned it's a minority run Field Oil. Yeah, the country by minority. You're speaking specifically to certain countries that we have relationships with. I'm saying that they're not white people. That's what I all. Right, No, I don't want to I don't want to go on record.

It's backing oil. I'm all for Testlas. I think we should get off your all for Testlas. Elon must just get he's a billionaire. He's a cool guy. He's got some ideas. He's making Twitter better. You can tell. Yeah, he's been saying a lot of cool stuff on Twitter. I hear lately. Yeah, that the vibe is really thriving on Twitter now that Elien's Elien stepped up. Everybody's real chill now that Ellen finally took over. I just got a burnerd. It's it's hell over there. Yeah, No, it's

real fucked up Twitter. You all got you're all gonna get out. And it's also it's funked up in a way that's not fun because like it's just it's just like these pseudo intellectuals yelling about the injustices that are already transpiring on Twitter, and it's like, a bro, I don't know, my account seems fine, and if we all just go back to making dick jokes, we could, we

could get away from this. And they're like, no, you don't realize it's all crumbling, and you're like, okay, but I I was really just trying to see what happened with Steph Curry last night. I don't know, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't. I don't really care about none of this. No, that's because you're a nihilist. Maybe I don't think so. I like to believe. I believe in in the goodness and hope of the world. I just don't know that. I don't believe in big oil or minority company. I

believe in it more than you do. I believe that it is in fact big and not cool. And you're like, nah, they fucking rock over there, of all the of all the major industries, I'm I'm I'm hitching my wagon the oil that one's gonna last. Boy was like VP spills some more in the in the not enough, as far as I'm concerned, drink it up. It's cointellectuallytes, I think the ducks look better when they're dipped in that ship. Come on, BP, get back. You've ever seen all I'm saying.

You ever seen pat Riley without his hair slicked back? It's not as good exactly. The ducks need that pat Riley slick back. How is it gonna get any duck? Quack quack quack girl? Are you wet? Or is it just this oil? Oh? Quack quack quack girl. Quack qlack girl. So let's let's talk research. Because I did do some

research on the subject. I I it would be unfair for me to introduce this conversation and be like unresearchable The pitch that premium gas will make the average car run more efficiently is a lie, which I don't know if that's something that you had are arguing or your friend is arguing necessarily, but they're saying that A lot, a lot, a lot of motherfucker's believe that having premium gas in any car will make the car run more efficiently.

In that no, no, no, I know not. I know certain cars are built for it and certain cars aren't. That's the whole point. That's the whole point is that the car is designed to take that type of fuel, right, So specifically, it's like the thing that they're they're differentiating

essentially is the octane levels. Right, So the octane levels and unletted is I believe eighties seven in the eighties seven range, uh, mid grade is somewhere in the eighty nine range, and then premium is in the nineties one range of octane levels. And if your engine is built for premium gas, it will effectively use that higher octane fuel better. But any other car is just a it's just a waste of money. Yeah see, And I've always seen myself as a high octane kind of guy. Wake up,

don't you? Have that chest stattooed on you. Yeah, I wake I wake up every day. I take it to the max. I live my life a quarter mile at a time. I do like everything I do. Like the idea that you tattooed high octane kind of guy on your chest. Not you don't believe in yourself enough to just land on high ident. You're like, no, but if you know that kind of guy, that's like me too. I'm I'm a similar octane. I'm of a similar I'm saying we're all high value men, right, We're all high

value men. But so that point, though, as you are wrong, Well, no, that point is about a thing that I'm I'm less concerned about in terms of my personal argument. But I do think sort of speaks to my grander argument about the illusion of premium, right, that there is an illusion that already exists, that that this is acknowledging of people believing in premium as like this all value fix, when in fact it's more complicated than that. Oh yeah, I don't.

I don't think everybody thinks that though, because I think it's like it's like a secret club, Like you're in this BMW club. So you before you had just had you know, trusty Rusty, no offense, and they didn't let you into this secret club. So you were driving around with no knowledge yourself. You had no idea, you know, like, what's that? You're like, what's that premium? That's crazy people would do that. Yeah, big oils lost their minds. Then

you get a little money in your pocket. Circle they're like, actually, Langston, this is what premium is. It's very reasonable. Actually, when you put the gold flakes on top of the chocolate cake, it does stays different. I don't Yeah, that's what they're telling you. You had an unrefined palette because you were driving around. You were basically driving a box of spam and now and you didn't know what to wash it down with. You were like, I'm eating spam anyways, I

might as well washing down with this four. The spam is still in the car at this point, right, And then now you came and got some scallops and all of a sudden, now you know what the white wine is for. Well, okay, I think this is this is deeply hurtful. But also I will point you to a not a statistic, a basically a research I guess this

is stat but they said. According to Triple A Automotive Club, Americans wasted two point one billion dollars in sixteen alone by putting premium gas in regular cars expecting better results. So it's not nearly as rare I think as you think it might be. I mean, but two point one over and we how much? How much did we spend on bubble gum last year? You know what I mean? Okay, I guess if you want to compare it to bubble gum prices, But that's two point one billion ain't negligible

in this ship. That is egregious. But whose fault does that? Did anyone ever actually tell you put premium in your shitty guard it will run well? Well, I think, and hear me out. I know you're you've been defending them with all of your heart, but I think Big Gas has worked really hard to also not explain why or why not to put premium in their ship. I don't think that they're I don't think they're making an effort to clarify what premium does for anybody. It's just whether

you know the ship or you don't. And it's a bunch of everybody who's got a luxury car there's a gang of luxury cars out there. For people have luxury cars, but look at what they're doing. It's it's a bunch of people who buy vehicles and truly believe like this. I'm gonna have to have this for as long as I possibly can. This is the biggest investment I may ever make in my life. So I'm going to treat it with it all the care that you're speaking to. And so even if they don't know, they go, yeah,

give me the fucking premium. I'll spend my life savings. I just want to keep my Jetta alive for as long as I can. That's the scam. Come on, people. People do try to convince you that Jettas are expensive cars. They'll tell you that that's you gotta put premium gas in the Jetta. And you know, you know, you know what that bill was. How many times have you hung out with the dude who had like a golf who

just wouldn't shut up about it? You know what I mean? Yeah, he's like, no, it makes the engine burn red, so I gotta do that, And he's like you, it's that and everybody knows it's a Jetta. Take that fucking sticker off the back you put it on the back window. We know you're a Jetta guy. Yeah, go on, big dog that sticker off and and put some put some unleaded gas in. That it's not a sports car. It looks like a Volvo. That's okay, because your kids are

safe when you pick them up from practice. So here's the The other thing I'll point you to is that while no one explicitly will say, and in fact everybody was pretty clear about what you said, that this is truly a difference in terms of the type of engines that you're dealing with, their cars that you're dealing with, right that like the right car that needs premium does in fact mean premium, and everybody else is should just

be going with what they go with. That said, they do acknowledge for the most part, mid grade is bullshit that that's actually a a not a real thing. That most of these companies are not even making mid grade technically. They just make premium and they make unleaded and then they send it to the gas station where the gas station like mixes it up like a cocktail themselves. Okay, It's like, do you ever run out of face washing? You put some water in the bottle. Yeah, there you go, okay,

which I always thought was a smart deal. But and it doesn't not get your face and your hands clean. But it isn't a thing that you should be paying additional money for, you know what I mean, Like I'm not I shouldn't pay extra So what you're saying is this isn't on big oil, this is on the gas station. Whoa, you're willing to take down the little man now in defense of where that either way, you're willing to look at these My ship, the family businesses. My ship comes

from the motherland, pure. It comes out in barrels. They don't do anything to it. You bring it over here, you fucking perverted up and put it in your fucking Texico And that's on. That's on us, from that pure Venezuelan motherland. And yeah, my ship comes from the wild hills of Texas. The oil derricks, my people, this is

disgusting to listen to. One of the things that they pointed to also is that not only is mid grade not sort of like a thing that these companies are making themselves, they also say that the mid grade is not even a thing that most car makers are necessarily recommending for their cars that right, So who's that on who's mixing? It's the gas companies, right. But but the gas companies, again I think benefit from being able to sell mid grade for whatever it is, ten twenty cents

more as this in between. They're not losing because of this, right. But I'm saying I'm talking about the purest where the oil comes from. Who's selling the crude oil? You're not buying that from the arms, and then you bought it regular and then you stepped on it to distribute to your gas station. That's on you. I sold you clean oil. Sure,

I don't think. I don't think that that's necessarily completely true, right, I think that part of yes, they are selling quote unquote clean oil, but but clean burning field, clean the you could listen, breathe it in. Brother, it's that's that's what you want at the bottom of your love. You

get high. I won't even get a headache. But one of the things that I think you're missing is probably the premium that they put on the oil itself, which means that these companies, in order to fill the need that they're paying for, have to find scams inside of it to pay off extra faster. But you're talking like, these are small companies who are doing that, right, I'm saying that that that small like the companies that own the like the people who own the convenience store next

to the gas station. Yeah, Mom and Pops, good people, Salt of the Earth, the fucking seventies six, the Conicos, those are tiny little mom and poppies. Those are shitty, evil corporations. But like everything saying, I'm just saying, brother, it goes all the way to the top. You're you're advocating that somehow the top is exempt from the whole thing. And I'm saying that, including the people that the seventies six people bought it from, are running a ruse, a

long con on all of us. I mean, I understand, ultimately, I think we can both agree that the mid grade gas is the ruse. Mid grade is a lie. It's a god grade, and it's because scientifically there's no reason

for it, right, There's no reason. And in fact, I I read something that basically said that that while they can kind of point to like small differences that you might see in the quality of like your your your car's performance, they said that there there would be no destruction, No bad thing would happen out of putting unleaded in a car. That's that's asking for mid grade. Okay, so yeah, so who invented mid grade? That's who we need to aim at. I don't know, but it was. It was.

It feels like a Dick Cheney type. That feels, you know what I mean, like a character Dick Cheney like learned from and then and then went off and did his own thing. I mean, it's a pretty evil man or a woman. I hey, women could invent a dirty oil, and I believe women can be Dick Cheney types. Let me be here, I'd rather than they were. Yeah. I love a good a good cigar sounding voice from a lady. I love a good she villain. Come on, give me a bad bad lead. Yeah, slick that hairbag pat Riley

style or the day. Yeah, quack quack black clack. I want to cruel Deville. Yeah, I'm gonna skin all those puppies from my jacket. I like that Grelly. Deville was such a funny villain because nobody thought to punch that lady in the face. She weighed eighty pounds, she had no defense, And I'm not saying that a dude should have done it. You shouldn't hit women. This isn't This isn't me advocating for for domestic violence of any form. I think I think that women should hit women. That's

all I'm saying. I think women should Wait, wait, okay, maybe this is crazy. No, I think the way Pongo and Prodita's mom should have fought. There were so many people in the film who could have beat up Cruella Deville from the start to the finish, and the fact that no one was just like, I'm gonna punch this lady in the face and stop all of this from Halfney. Yeah, hit that sternum. You you could cave rules ship in for sure. He gotta punch Carulla in the face. You

call my sister right now. She flies up from Arizona. She's jet lagged, she's on no hours of sleep. Grace could cave Corella Deville's chest. Come on, I've never even seen her, and I believe that. I believe that with all my heart. She's sturdy. Was she had emphysema? Yeah, Carella, she had. She had to. She had to smoke her cigarettes through through a stick because the doctor said you're getting too much smoking here, baby girl. Maybe a little

distant will help. Yeah, she's like the most she's the most beat up a bull bad guy of all Disney movies. She's pretty high up on the list of beat up a bull bad guys. I think jar but Jafarest sing like he had reached like he might be skinny. You know, you remember that Indian guy on Street Fighter too. Of course that's who I feel That's what I feel like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's also. Jafar seems like he's like a street fighter,

like he fights d Yeah. He fucking blood in your eyes that came three times on the ground and the snake fucking eyes and he don't feel no guilt about the snake doing that, like there's nothing. Yeah, no, no, no's his people and snakes have been bonded for ever. He's a snake charmer. Damn Han said, this feels ragel and and frankly, I think it might be. I I don't know that it isn't Wait, was Jafar not black? No, Jafar is not. Uh, he's not the snake charmer. He's

a snake charmer. That's fair. That's fair. I mean, I mean he literally carried us as staff around and turned himself into a snake. But you're right, we're being unreasonable with the equation we made from from Disney's work in nineteen. I definitely was not thinking. I always thought of him as like light skinned, in a prince kind of Oh no, I think that entire region is meant to be a specific part of that. I would probably say the Middle East.

I'm not certainly, I guess Agriba. Alright, No, you know what, I've checked you to look at this entire conversation, and you're right, that was crazy. It's my fault. It's my fault for thinking an Arab guy was a Lightskan black guy. And you know what, it probably won't be the last time. Listen, what's his name? Uh? Who was under Diddy's Diddy's team which on the lights skin? Uh? What's the motherfucking's name? The big old lights Skan motherfucker with God damn it,

I know, did he's under? Did he did? He cropped him out of a video or a picture once with jay Z and Kendrick and Nas and pretended like he wasn't there. French Montana is who I'm thinking of. French Montana he's North half can correct, Yeah, he's North African. Okay, so too far as like a French Bontana. I'm saying that that's what it sounds like you're advocating for. That's I guess what I thought. I didn't mean anything when I said snake charmer. I didn't mean because he was

always playing with snakes. No, it's too late and the episodes cut. So here we are. This is our big first outing, I think so, and and I'm glad that we're documenting it this way. Anyway, we'll take one more break. We'll be back with more, more legs than the David and more. My mama told me we are back. We're not gonna let Joe Biden and Kamala Harris cut America's meet. That's dead on that. That's dead on that. Still, I'm

not sure. I'm still talking about the possibility and and it's it seems like we're at a bit of a standoff still. Although we we met some middle ground in this, but we're still talking about the possibility that there is no real difference between premium gas and and regular unleaded gasoly let me ask you this question, Okay, are there times are there brands where you do acknowledge or things where you do acknowledge that there is no actual difference,

and they're just saying stuff to say stuff. Man, As a person who is smart and understands, I wish I could say that, but I'm I'm caught up in capitalism and branding just like the rest of us. Coke tastes better to me than Sam's Club Cola Baby just it's just it's fucked up, man, I know it's fucked up. I mean I think if there is a level sometimes of consumerism where you do pay for quality, I don't think that's to be shifted on. I think certain things

if you pay more money, are high quality. Is there is there stuff that I don't feel like that? I mean think even small It's like doll brand bananas. Are you like no, if it's not Tikida, I don't I I it tastes different to me? Or is it? Is it? Strictly well? I feel like produce is less branded than all processed food. Like I'm never like I need the jolly green giant green peppers, but I am like, give

me that Lacroix. That sparkly water is trash? Oh sure you you you feel like you can taste the difference between Walgreens, wah Wahs or whatever the funk they're calling their ship. And yeah, I've just I've had so much time where I had to drink Sam's Sam's Club whatever, and I just like now that I'm not going back. I got name brand Crystal like in my cupboards. That's wild, man.

I I don't live I live so differently than this, I truly I I don't believe in the brands for most things, they're like yeah, I mean besides like like things that are so physically in your face that it

would be embarrassing to make a lesser choice. I don't actually believe in like you know what I mean, Like I'm gonna I'm not gonna wear like shitty shoes because like, I don't want to be made fun of, and I like socializing and meeting, you know, and when I needed to get bitches, I need I I wasn't gonna be out here trying to make a point about my sneaker choices and ship. But that's no, it wouldn't it wouldn't

work out. But that said, otherwise, it's not like I'm like, well, Nike just makes them better I don't know than like Sketchers or Ben fucking pro Wings or whoever was making uh sneakers whenever they were makeing them. Like, truly, it's not my faith in the quality as much as it is me being like, yeah, they tricked me, and I agree with this trickery. Wow, you don't think Nike athletic comparal all the money they pour into research and whatnot as many athletes as they have out there plugged into

those fifty set machines. Yeah, you don't, But you don't believe that that's better. I believe that that. I believe that they are advancing technology all around us. But I'm saying that at the points that the technology is matched, right that, Like, because they have so much money and they have so many resources, they have reason to be able to invest that way into whatever the next wave

will be. But I do not believe that, Like they sat down to make a shoe and then this other group sat down to make a shoe all for the same intention with the same technology that they Nike is producing a a worldly, a world famous, better shoe. All right, what about when Tracy McGrady played through those and ones? Was it Tracy McGrady remember that. Now Zion played through issues or did trace? No, Zion did, because he's a free cul It was somebody did it through and once

was it Stepfa Marbury. Yeah, I don't know, Steph. Stephan Marbury has his own shoe, the Starberries. Yeah, those didn't coo good. Somebody played through. Somebody played through a pair of van Ones and it was like, yeah, Zion busting through those nikes. Because he's a human of which we've

never the caliber of which we've never seen before. Yeah, he's a three hundred and fifty pounds like spring, a little like couch spring turned into He could play through any like no shoes, no, no, no, no, no souls have been made. They could keep him in. Not a shoe, not a white woman, none of them is a weird guy, all right, But yeah, I mean there's got to be something if I if I really think to it. Bottled water, no, see,

I feel differently about different bottled waters too. Yeah see, I feel like that's just following following for the branding. My guy. No de Sauny's trash, say is trash? I think that, I think, and hear me out. I don't disagree that Desagny tastes bad. What I would argue is that that may very well have more to do with the plastic around De Sauny than it is a difference

in the water itself. I think a lot of these waters, what we are associating with bad is more of the actual like uh, the producing the containers, than it is the water itself being different. You know what, I buy cheap home cleaning products, like I don't buy the clocks wife, I buy Wow. That's that's that's that's that's true. So you think that that for chlorox but not but not toilet paper I buy. I buy name but brand toilet paper. But but for cleaning products, you don't believe that there

there's a real difference between them. It's all. It's all just you know, glass cleaner or not. So so I feel like, then you have to understand where I'm coming from with this ship, because you can't prove that either. I understand. I'm just telling you how my my heart and my brain works. I'm not like, I'm not trying to be like a revolutionary here. I'm just yeah, I will buy I will buy Coca Cola zero, but also

I will just buy Target branded glass cleaner. Wow. Well, let's talk a little bit about some of what because I read an article that broke down the reasons for like the vast price differences sometimes and something as simple as even like a cotton T shirt right, which can range somewhere from from five dollars to literally lee you know, a hundreds sometimes thousands of dollars for one brand. If

you're just buying underwear tth like plain white T shirts. Oh, if I'm just gonna like buy some ship, I probably buy the what's it starts? It's like good, good, good something. No, I'm not killing No, no, No, it's it's like more like it's like a Target E type brand, but it's they make it seem like it's more premium. If not Haynes, I'll be real, I'll probably go with a Haynes. No. I like Hans. I like things. I think they're soft. Yeah, they make them. They make them good and soft. That

says there's a pro club. I bought it. Fu. Yeah, so you are worthy that you aren't sitting there chirping about nothing. You're like, no, this is I like the next on pro clubs though they got I got like a fat head. So I blow out nickels, So the pro clubs keep it tight. People. People will respond to that. People know what I'm talking and then they should put that on their next ad. Pro clubs give it tight. Just a dude with a fat head pushing it through

a neck hole looks like a baby being born. But every time I get dressed, it's a it's a little it's a little sexy, it's a little a little promotional. We're doing both. Yeah, hey, pro club if you realuys really need to get at me. Come on, man, my boy got this fat head going away. I'm blowing out now.

You think I can wear a true religion shirt if you don't give him the money so that he can start really like stacking his closet with some pro clubs, man, because every other T shirt you just look like if your neckhole is it is the worst look in the world. Yeah. I don't want to sloppy neck hole. It's the word,

it's the way. It makes you look terrible. Yeah, you can get away with a lot of things that's a man, including not even having to put on a more than a Hayne shirt, But goddamn, if that neck hole looks crazy gone, Yeah, it's just it's not you don't want to and you don't want to be that guy not coal out here sagging down. Everybody sees your chest. Are you want that? Yeah? No, it's a bad look for you, big dog. But so, one of the things that they break down in terms of the differences and shirts is

starting with the grade. Cotton. Fabric is graded based on the length of the staple, uh the tiny individual fibers in the yarn. The longer these fibers are, the smoother and stronger the fabric is. Higher grade cotton costs more. Then they have something called the variety. Varieties are grown in different parts of the world, meaning that certain cotton, like Pima cotton, which is extra longs it makes for extra long staples, has to be grown in in a warm,

dry climate, and that makes suprema cotton rarer. There are also brands of cotton, not just like brands of the clothing themselves, but brands of the actual like cotton fiber ship that are being sold. And if your shirts spent more money for branded cotton, then they may cost more or charge you more on the back end of that ship. I mean, okay, that that all seems reasonable but I mean, what is that? Is the rare cotton a better quality?

They're saying so because of it just creates a smoother and stronger fabric that basically like we're we're It's essentially like, if your shirt is being stitched together with all of these tiny pieces, then it's more likely to like tear or break or whatever it is. But if your shirts being stitched together with longer, uninterrupted pieces, it probably is going to hold and and be smoother all the way down.

But then so that mark up in retail, that's still you paying more for quality, right it theoretically is you paying more for quality. Now, what they also say is that there's no real way of knowing for sure that like you know, a Balenciaga is in fact paying for these branded stronger cotton pieces. They can just tell you it's a good quality and not have to like prove that to you in any way. So what we need

is a governing body for cotton T shirts. We need some kind of It's just a website where they post villain Thiaga T shirts and goes these niggas lying, go ahead and buy your hands hands got cotton. Yeah, they got that PMA over hands. I mean, it all sounds it all sounds very unregulated, but it does seem like at some level, if you're paying a cost, you're probably paying for quality. Well, one of the things that they

also point to is processing. Manufacturers process the cotton fibers and several ways some of them are twisting them into yarn. But after their their carding, there's all these processes that go into it, and some of those processes make for a higher quality, smoother thing, but also are more expensive

and then sustainability. Ultimately, retailers passed that cost on to customers, presuming that like, for example, organically grown cotton I guess costs more than non organic cotton, and then they pay for that organic cotton. They then make you pay for the ship. So it's a bunch of things that, yes, theoretically it could make for a better product, but it could also just be what that person or rather that company is paying for that they're then charging you for

as a result of their own choices. So you say, the market place is complicated, and you've got to be an informed consumer. I mean, what do you ask, what do you what? What's the what's the final point? Jesus christ Man you won't give You won't give up an inch. You love the guest so much. What I'm saying is and I will make my final point. I'll make my my my final stand here because I've had a god damn enough of being pushed around and and shamed for

what I continually prove to be a real thing. What I'm saying, David, is that that if there are differences that that we cannot know and cannot prove, but ultimately are paying hundreds and hundreds of dollars more for these these products, then that is probably also true in all facets of our consumption and in fact, and this is the final proof or a point that I'll tell you

as proof. One of the things that the the An article that I was reading talked about is the main sort of like reason that they point to, and people even spending money on the differences between these products is not quality, it's not sustainability. But they say that price is the main reason that people pay the premium they pay that like truly, they are not buying a Gucci shirt because they believe Gucci is even a better quality shirt.

They are merely paying for Gucci for the sake of being able to say is Gucci, motherfucker and improve their status. I hold on, sorry, I take a step. Not a sponsor, by the way, they have nothing to do with this podcast, not not with that attitude. I understand what you're saying, But the argument that we came here to have is, is there a difference between premium and regular? Unmight I'm so glad you said that because and this, and there is no and now I'm gonna now, I'm gonna throw

it in your face. Now we're throwing in your face like a like a raccoon making his big escape, I'm gonna throw it in your face because like a fucking Wes Anderson, I have no clue. But the point is, what I'll remind you of is what you said at the beginning of this episode. We just people turning to the status of their vehicles, the status of their gasoline,

and all of those things needing to match that. Once you become a BMW man, you need to match that BMW experience with your with the BMW ride, and thus you will pay for premium gas even if that specific car does not need that gasoline. Moreover, I read that quite a few cars that we consider to be luxury vehicles are not, in fact necessarily needing premium gasoline. We're just being We're just paying for it because we're being

lad to believe that there's a massive difference in the quality. Hey, I'm just saying, if you get a BMW, look up what kind of gas fach needs? All right? Fair enough? By what kind of gas you're gonna get tomorrow at the pomp. That's that's neither here nor there. Ha ha ha. That's not because about are you gonna go fill your BMW? I'll get whatever gas makes my household continue to be at peace, is the correct answer I can offer you.

I'll buy the gas that will help me sleep next to the lady that I've chosen to sleep next to for the remainder of hopefully one of our lives. Hopefully one of our lives. Here's looking at you, sister. But the point is that that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard. But the point is I'll buy that gasoline,

but I won't believe in it for a second. I'll be standing there like you got me, you, you sassy bitch, And then the man behind the counter will wink and I'll know that I'm being lied to that this is a ruse. Well, you're not. What you're saying is a lot of other people who drive luxury card. You said it yourself. Your your car needs the higher octane gasoline, which is the different I don't know that. I didn't actually do the research to know. I was told by

a lady it does, and now I do it. So you researched this and never even looked up my car. I'm not a bright man, David. I'm a man who cares that. This is why I don't have a car. And this ship is too complicated. Man, I'm gonna take a lift to the movies right after this. I might take a line by anyways, all right, man, But there is a difference between the gusses. That's all I'm saying there. That's all I said from the beginning. There is physically

a difference. And I don't mean that mid grade, washed out bullshit soap blah blah blah. I'm talking about the bottom one in the top one. There's a difference there. There is, according to the people that make it, a difference between premium and unletted gasoline. And I'll leave it at that. I think I think we can agree on that. Boy, could you tell the people at home where they could find what cool ship you have going to that's nice and spicy meat? Why? That's just I and I say that.

That drop always surprises me with how long it is. It's so much longer than you wanted to be. Like, you're like, damn, I hope this is done. It's you're praying for it to finish. And it's not just he just has more to comment on. He just keeps going and it stops even feeling like he's doing He's talking about the same thing as he's doing it is. It starts to feel like he's like it's almost like an orgy is happening around him. Yeah, and then at first you think it's just him talking to you, and then

you feel like maybe there's a lot of people. Yeah, that's like three other people in the room that he could be directing this set. Yeah, it's really terrible. Okay, November, I'm gonna be headlining the Denver Comedy Works, so come out to that. December three, I'm at the Hereafter in Seattle. December four, I'm at Helium in Portland's and you know, cool guy a joke Savy seven on Instagram, you know,

and uh, don't feel bad about it. If you want to drink Coke zero branded products, you drink those, don't don't listend like he doesn't even know. Man, Yeah, I don't fucking know. I'm a big old idiot. But but you can follow me my dumbass over at Langston Kermit on all the platforms. Still on Twitter somehow haven't given up, but but losing hope by the day. So follow me

if that's if that's you're choosing. And if you want to follow the podcast, do that ship on iTunes and if you wanna, Oh, if you want to send us your drops, if you want to send us your conspiracy theories, if you want to support big oil like David Bori has, you can send all of that to my mama pot at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you. Uh that's about it, By bitch, something's going on. Can't

I smell you? Dick well keep because I've been growing babies my crop chips in your man's uncle Wild Bears were racist. The also players owsty money versions in many attorney stuff. I can't tell me good