Old Men Give You Worms (with Langston and David)

Stop everything, put that ship down, Stop making love to your significant others.

We're talking, get your penis out of your wife.

And get that pussy out of your side piece. Yeah, out of it. I've never had sex before.

We have big news, big, huge news, unbelievable news.

Where all of you who want to see us get filthy rich we are.

We are offering up a new opportunity, a bag of beans if you will that we're hopeful you believe is going to grow into a giant bean stalk. Yeah, magical beans, and that those magical beans are the my mama told me Patreon. I actually am one point four percent Jerian African.

I'm a sister.

Okay, why's that the button you press? I shouldn't have smoked. We're starting a patriot signing a patre It's gonna be so much fun. We're gonna have what four extra episodes a month. It's four extra episodes.

It's all kinds of games, it's watch alongs, it's crab bags, it's gonna be all.

Mail bags, live streams, all this stuff, Langston's nudes.

This is the first I'm hearing of it. But I'm not in a space to contradict I'm desperate for you to join. So if that is what will entice you to come see us over at Patreon, please do that.

Yeah, so you can go ahead and go online to ww dot Patreon backslash. It's on the bottom. Yeah, we'll have it flashing on the screen. Yeah, it's all me likely but yeah, but we'll figure it out. It's coming by bitch. We are all hearious about your danas.

We want to know what's happening on your chest.

Yeah, because if you google albino nipples, image service does not cut it. It doesn't give you enough.

We pride our else on doing real research on this.

Podcast, specifically albino ariolas is what I'm curious.

And and he, my friend, can only find out. He can only truly get those curiosity satisfied by you sending us your albino nipples.

No no, no, no, no no no no no no, no, no record.

He wants to see those out bin no nipples more than anyone on this earth.

Please send them to him. Dude, I rescribe. I'm a wordsmith. I have a love for the art of the written word. Minute. Let me close my eyes.

Yeah, go ahead, reach slower, eggshell you say, but.

No, because ariolas are so discolored, you wonder what goes on there. They could get whiter. Yeah, you never know that would be I didn't even imagine that. I always thought it would be some kind of crazy pink.

Or it could be like a negative of a photo.

Yeah, chips in your.

Qualibans, racists, money, turkey stuff.

I can't tell me. It's just not often you get to have good, regular aed sects on a bunk bed.

You should absolutely good regular consensual sex.

On a bump bed is very rare. Yeah, yeah, go ahead and go ahead and celebrate, my guy. It's a little bed thoughters.

It is a little bit, but if you go up to the top, you can make it feel more.

It feels oh, you know what's crazy.

It feels like looking out on a on a a landscape, and.

This is me having changed my standards. Even imagine having sex on the top. Oh, you never even went up there in your mind? No, damn for sex. Yeah, no, I'd be worried it would be like what's that movie where the bunk bed smushes him? Step brothers. I worried i'd step brothers.

Yeah, if he does, if he dies, he dies that's how I feel.

What do you want to.

Have?

I had sex on a bunk bed. I've had I've had like second base, I've had I've had sex sexy stuff on a bunk bed top or bottom bottom. Okay, But I didn't have the confidence to advocate for myself back then.

Do you know what I mean? I've grown as a person. You didn't know you could say, hey, baby, let's go upstairs.

Bro.

Now I'm twenty eight years old, I'm a big man.

I can say, like, you know, I'm actually i'd prefer to be up there please.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'd like a view. Yeah, I'd like a view. If you do it right, maybe you could sit on the top bunk and she could stand. That doesn't happen ever.

Yeah, yeah, I guess.

You know what I'm saying. Yeah for sure, But like you hang your legs off, yeah, the edge right, and you're saying get some head, yeah, with her standing all the way up, and then that's crazy.

And then you can put jarms like this and Jack, I feel so sad.

That's really cool. Yeah, man, I never really thought about it either. How many times in your life do you get oral sex where someone is standing straight up. You know what's nigga women? Maybe get it with them buff niggas.

Like right, and maybe that's why you like that, Yeah, that he's the only one that can put you in the sky.

Yeah yeah, yeah, I bet that's really cool. That's really cool.

Yeah, damn, you know what I wanted to do. I wanted to call that dumb.

No, it's not.

And I think I was being unfair to you and I apologe I walked into that and I said, my friend is being absurd and I need to shame him for that, and and awfully made that choice.

We got to open you up to some it's not all weird if you haven't done it. Some stuff could be cool. Brother, only standing oral could be cool. Yeah, yeah, that's that's right. Fully standing oral could be cool. And I was wrong, and David, you were right, and we all need to grow up. The podcast where we drived.

Speak blugging to my mama told me we had we We didn't enter normal at all. No, we went a long time ahead of this.

Yeah, we said some stuff that might get cut out hopefully.

Yeah, I think especially the earlier section, but I think there's parts of what we got to uh that was important.

That was important, So.

We should keep we should keep the essential parts and lose some of these specific names.

Yeah, that's good, that's good. I'm David. Do we do that usually?

No, But but it's a little weird that we don't, right.

No, they you know what it is at this point. But a lot of people are finding us for the first time. Oh, I think if you like that other podcast, I do give this one some money.

Yeah, and I'm Deontay Kyle.

Things got weird.

If life started to really take a turn for that young man.

Shut that was a great episode. Get on there. Love those dudes. Yeah, I fear I don't have as much to contribute to their platform as say, due to ours. If we do their show, we have to do it together.

We should do it together, and more than anything, if they don't at some point go hey dog hush, yeah, that's you have to do that, then mistakes were made because we're not helping none of the people learning over there, being healthy, none of that.

No, but we love you. We love you.

We were big fans, and we wish sometimes that we could handle that kind of responsibility.

I wish sometimes if this was a force for positive change in the world. Huh. But in this time of chaos, in this world, I'm fine being a chaotic neutral. I think that's fair, you know what I mean, when stuff is so bad and so heightened, you just come over here and kick it and laugh a little bit. Yeah, you're probably not learning anything. I'm okay with that. I'm not detracting. I'm not trying to tell people how to be man or whatever's going on.

Yeah, I'm not going to the lynching, but I will go to like the tailgate.

I think white people had tailgates before.

Lynchings, and I think some people were like, I ain't really with that ship, but like, I'm just over here because I like brought words my cousin. He's running it, so you know, he's doing a boil everybody. Everybody loves drinking beers in a yard. It's when you get to see or somebody like murdered. That's where you go like you're a monster, You're really on some wild ship.

Yeah yeah, yeah, I didn't. I didn't make a good choice. That's okay. That's that's okay, that's okay. The president button get us out of this. I'm bold. I can't get any holes. I'm fighting my entire life. You can get home, you can get I completely forgot that. He says that at some point is you can't get hose, though. I do feel like that's like one of the more inspiring types of people I've ever met is a man or woman who's fighting something crazy but they still got hose crazy.

Tho.

I've seen motherfuckers win with all the ailments that truly that men on the internet pretend are like impossibly crippling identity.

Bro, you know how many niggas i've seen get hose? A victim weight?

Yeah, bro, victim weight. Guys get pussy dogs. Some of the shortest men I've seen in my life be tearing it up, like truly, like what is this? And they are they are cooking because they're not running around apologizing for the thing that they can't fix anyway.

Yeah yeah, what could we do about it? Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, I want to be six to one so bad.

Oh we don't have You don't have to say yeah, you don't have to do that. You have to do that. You're right. The fact that I thought you had it wasn't enough. Yeah, okay, hell yeah, christ Man as a family at five, whatever.

It is, your mama always think you beautiful.

You know what I mean. I don't care what they say at school. You cute to me. And you could get hose.

Yeah, it really that. If we can leave our listeners with anything, you could get hose.

Man. It's one of the more it's always truly one of the more inspiring things I've ever seen.

There really is something inside of you that has the potential to get hose. You have to that, and you have to be willing to admit where you've stepped on your ability to get home.

Yeah, and you need to embrace yourself. That's the only way the hose are coming. You got to embrace you. You got run from it.

Yeah, you gotta really get comfortable with whatever the fuck you got going on, and the hose will be there.

Yeah, don't worry about it. Some of hose like that.

Weird little Laren for sure, for sure.

Or whatever it is you got. I mean, some things I think are tougher. No, this was meant to be an inSpot. I'm just thinking, like if you have like how it like bad breath is there's something that to me feels like the work. But yeah, but and I do think there are guys with bad breath who do get hose. I've seen that too. I've seen that too.

But there there is a an algorithmic balance thing that happens. You have bad breath, but you have a car, you have resources.

Us women for the math they have to do.

Listen, juz t I eighty three plus in here them.

This just be beautiful. Mind. It's darting. It's just equations on whether or not to give up. And we're just standing there like, hurry on, please, Brett's taking I'm hot as hell right now. She's like carry the seat. Why did she keep making me? Wait? I did the math? You and me together ain't nothing but animals.

Oh man, uh we we are. It's a solo episode. Yes, get over on that Patreon.

We usually keep this from them Patreon listeners. But we're giving y'all one for.

Free here in the studio, and it's it's we're having a jolly old time. We're gonna do some voicemails to some voicemails together, we're gonna talk some shit about y'all, specifically why you keep calling.

We have no idea. I'm so thankful for I voicemails is getting to be It's like I'm more excited to hear the voicemail than the conspiracy theory some days. Yeah, Like I'm I like, really fuck with hearing Like that hot dog guy was amazing.

He was so mad, he was yelling, he was furious, And you know what, I really thought about it afterwards, because we spent a lot of time shaming him because of the big leaps he was making.

I was shaming him because he was I was just making fun of him because he's funny, not because of the hot dog thing. I feel like people got that wrong. I don't think I.

Think the big he was making big emotional choices that made it feel crazy.

Yeah yeah, yeah, But it wasn't that.

I disagree with the general premise of hot dogs being overly associated with gay ships.

Loves a hot dog. I don't like this. This is a space I wasn't I didn't know you were gonna say that thing.

I was gonna say a glizzy guzzler. So it's not a safe space because now you've blocked that off. You made it so I don't feel comfortable calling myself a glizzy guzzler to my friend.

What do you want me to do? I want to.

Say I'm a glizzy guzzler to you, but you're being cold.

Love me, love me you uggy.

I I was trying. I was, that's not that wasn't fair. Yeah, because first of all, I also love hot dogs. Yeah, that would be hypocritical to say I didn't. Yeah, I love Costco dogs. I even will fuck with a bar s. Come on, man, that's the lowest brand. I was saying. I thought you were classier than hot dogs. That's why it's surprised me. Oh and then glizzy gobbler is funny because two Jesus is always funny. Yeah, guzzler is what I went was. So that was two g's to these.

Yeah, that's that's like crazy in my head. In my head, I had a home run set up for you.

Did I think it was still kind of the way it played out was great.

It played out great, but but but it did come with some pain that I wasn't anticipating, right, And what I was gonna say was I would always imagine that you would be the type of guy that if it was burgers or dogs, you would pick burgers.

I feel like burgers seemed kind of elevated, and that was that's where I had you at. That's all that is. I'm hot dog every time, craming them. Yeah, yeah, guzzling. Do you hot dogs at the house? Yeah?

Yeah, when I when I can, Mike. My kids don't like them as much as I wish they did. Really, I wish they were like, can we have hot dogs? And they're not like that. It's more of me being like, YO want hot dogs, and then I can sneak Yeah, that's smart the hot dog as opposed to like going to my wife and being like, can we have hot dogs for dinner?

She's no, brother, I know exactly what you're saying. Alana doesn't any hot dogs like that? Yeah, so then if I get them now she sees the rate that they're deleting at, you know what I'm saying, especially because you could get those costco ones for your house. We had it for a barbecue one time and it went yeah she knew who did that? Yeah that sucks. And she wasn't even it was just like, oh the dogs are done. But I'm so insecure now because I've been sneaking hot dogs all week.

But that's the thing is, I don't want to do that. I don't even know that my wife is like going to actively shame me in any way. I think I'm just Once you become responsible for another person choosing hot dogs every day, starts to feel crazy. I believe that I understand, and you just go, man, I I can't your father. I'm twenty eight years old. I can't ask my well, you keep saying that I don't know. I thought we were in agreement about how old we were. Oh,

You got it? Let's listen to some voicemails? All right, let's listen to the boy.

Yeah, well, let's start with the first one. Oh no, it's let's start with big Gay.

That's always good. My mama told me.

Yeah, I'm back, I'm back, good luck. Remember when I called last Anyways, got a conspiracy theory for y'all.

Hold on positive for a second. Brother. We don't know your name, no, no, and I don't recognize your voice in all my twenty eight years I don't know who that is. If you thought we were gonna be like, oh shit, whoa, this is a worry. I worry that people are gonna get my mama told me call in famous. Yeah you know what I mean. That could be interesting, that could be a problem. Now we have our own world of pseudo celebrity. We've got casts and characters.

Yeah yeah, maybe they already exist and we are so ignorant too.

There might be calling that we're not actually realizing it. Because Carlos X was that. Before we got locked up. Everybody cared about Carlos. We still hear about him from time to time. People we got asked about him multiple times this weekend. Oh yeah, New Orleans. Yeah yeah, there are a lot.

Of people asking what happened to Carlos X. Yeah, and we we don't know. We don't know. We won't know.

We're not checking it until we receive a severed finger in the mail.

Yeah, and at that point, I'm just gonna move Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, you're gonna pull up.

Yeah I'm not I'm not helping him. I'm getting myself out of the negative situation.

But anyways, we don't know who you are. Yeah, continue, We love you see.

But I think I think y'all can handle it. You know, people have been talking more and it's getting really weird that it's twenty twenty six and they are like no out gay athletes in the major sports in the US. Makes no sense, right. It's like it's they mentioned a lot of time with each other in the locker room, and you're telling me it ain't no gay football player, ain't no gay basketball player. Ain't no gay baseball player. And so people have talked about it, but it's like,

Doesn't want are you big gay putting himself? You know what the problem is, Big Gay? I can't tell it's me, Big Gay. Call it again.

I can't tell if he's gay. I can't tell where this man is coming from. I don't think he's gay at least. Oh, then this man is very problematic.

What we're going to find out together? But I am I am worried. Yeah, because it wasn't. He's like, it can't possibly be the patriarchy. There must be a criminal organization underneath this. I know A perfect title, Big gay's direction.

I hate the idea that, like, I think there are gay athletes just as a numbers game. I don't think the activity is necessarily what like when people are like, it's great, were hanging out with your friends, tossing some balls, catching some balls, that part's not gay, y, it's just gay because it's a percentage thing. I think.

Yeah, I mean, I think I think you one could argue that the amount of time you're spending with them, not in the activity alone, is more gay, not like how many how many times you played football? How many times were you just going and getting dinner with a dude because that he was like your buddy on the trip kind of thing.

I do that now, and I'm saying that, like, if you're leaving.

I'm saying that's gay, you're gay. I'm saying that ultimately, that is that is how you create intimacy with the person, and if you are a gay person, that would activate you theoretically.

Okay, I guess what my point is is that we should allow men to engage in intimacy with each other without calling it like, I think those are different things. I think that's fair. That's that's that's my point.

I I agree that this is heading in a complicated direction. Yeah, and it's just a matter of time for this nigga really puts his foot in.

No, he's about to say something nasty. I'm excited. Ok, let's.

Some superstar athlete to be gay, because what's gonna happen. Now you're gonna take away all of the other exciting things about being gay, the drag, the fashion, the being you know, like all you know, all the all the women love the gay men because they're just perfect. But now you're gonna take some regular masculine mostly dudes, but then they also kind of gay. It's gonna take the spotlight from the folks that are big gay. Right now, you big gay, you could be huge in Hollywood. You

And it's not.

That that's that's That's all I'm saying. Man, It's something worth to discuss because it's really weird for the to not be any gay professional athletes.

Six.

It's nothing wrong with it. It's okay, it's okay to be gay. It's why ain't you coming out?

Elsie? It's kind of weird.

All. I love y'alls podcast, what you're.

Doing, miss okay, call back ship, but you're still talking bisexual?

He really king. It was a more interesting point than I thought it was going to be because I think.

It's still is rooted in all the problematic things that we talked about ahead of time that like it. I think I I would be silly to ever suggest that the root of our problems is connected to anything other than.

White dominance. I do think this guy's gay. Do you think this is a gay? He was like. He was like, because women love them because they're perfect. That's not something a homophobe would call in and say, but them is an other ring of trying to throw us off the scent. Yeah, Actually I don't give. I don't even know what I want. Uh, that's a funny point. That is a really funny point. I don't. I wonder what it overshadow because you wonder, like.

If Lebron James was gay. Yeah, do you think that that.

Would I think it would open a lot of guys up to understand their feelings about Lebron.

Bro nut Bro them dudes that that made Lebron their personality. They're really gonna unpack some ship that they need, you know what I mean, Like that we are going to we are heading in a healing place. Yeah, And I think we need to be fair because the even the suggestion of no professional athletes being out and gay is just an elimination of like all the women who are actively how and gay. Brittany Griner fucking did for real, for real jail time essentially.

Because of that in some regard, Like.

For sure, but I think the fact that you're this big, black lesbian person, almost like masculine presenting in your form probably incentivize them to be harsher with her. That would be my instinct, But maybe I'm overthinking it. Maybe they just were like, Nope, the rule is you do weed. You gotta you gotta dig up rocks.

Yeah, I think black was more of a big deal than gay for them, big and black.

I bet that they don't like that anybody that is black and could bunk them on the head.

That's a yeah. I don't know. I don't that that was crazy.

I do think, I do think that in that sense, what we're what we what we know to be true is that a lot of male athletes specifically do not feel comfortable coming out as any versions of queer, regardless of gay, straight, like not even even the idea of engaging with another man is a sin. We saw it with old boy who got drafted that year.

Was fuck. He went to like the Rams or some ship.

I don't know football for a minute, that black dude that that was in college and then he got drafted and he was already out.

Damn, I'm gonna forget his name.

Well either way, Oh right, Michael Sam. You remember Michael Sam.

Remember he had a.

Boyfriend and they kissed when he got drafted, and it was a big fucking deal. It was like twenty fourteen. Yeah, man, I remember that at all. All right, Well, fun convo. We're gonna sorry.

What happened to him? What happened to him, is it.

He just never turned into the giant prospect that he was supposed to be, And some of it feels very much like it got buried in his profile that like, regardless, he may not have never been the elite NFL prospect that he seemed like he was gonna be, but what it felt like was that all the noise around him overshadowed his abilities and didn't give him a fair shot at growing into the player.

You feel for it, because it almost like would be easier if it was an established superstar over someone coming into the league because they got like that pressure probably compounds because now you're doing it not just for friend's family where you came from, also for this entire community. That's like, Yeah, the weight of the world on someone's shoulders, right, that's probably I would imagine inhibits people. But I don't know we if we can.

It seems like what this caller would like is to somehow draft a gay ass Kevin Durant. Yeah, is this person wants to see the world be shaken by by a Cooper flag who loves That's that's what he's aiming for, and we pray for him. Yeah, if that's what you want, that's what you get.

My man, we're praying for it is. Yeah. Also, Brittany Grinder, if you want to come on, yeah, pick up that in the middle though, anybody that told got to sit in the middle.

Brittany Grinder, you come on, you sit in the small corner.

We're not changing it up for you. You figure out a way to stretch out, Brittany, she'd come in our feet, would me and her feet would touch. Yeah, that'd be dope. That'd be dope. That would be so hard. Yeah, her feet were over where my feet are.

Yeah, damn, I'd be like, damn, Brittany, she's the tallest person that's ever been as far as I'm concerned, I would because we have never had like a seven footer on here. No, Josiah might be the biggest that we've had. Oh we had him in that little spot and he didn't touch my feet. No, he was all right, Yeah he's like six seven. Okay, that's pretty good, all right, Britty Grinder. Yeah you sit there then. Yeah, No, Brittany Grinder ain't better than than the little sea. Yeah all right,

Ma Mama told me, and she.

Said in my ear and go deeper, stay with me now. And what hurt me is I was already all the way in.

It's real.

It's real, not to me, but uh m happens to a lot of votes. I love the way that he presents it because he says stay with me now, as if there's something really fucking dance coming on the back end. You talk like he was gonna throw a curveball. He said it's about to get fucking crazy. Enough meat, and he didn't have enough meat. And that's that. I think chad Ocho Sinko is maybe the funniest person ever walked pointed Earth.

Then he's up there.

He's real high in our regard. I really like him, and in Chad, now you can have the middle seed.

We got some weed.

You're not as tall, but the height of your heart, my.

Man, Yeah, heart of a giant eighty five feet tall. Let's do another voicemail, Let's do one more.

What's so fellas, I'm keth uh I do really appreciate your podcast first of all, but so my conspiracy.

If not from my brother, I don't really talk to her like that. But I think that the uh that the powers that be here trying to get everybody not used to using AI in the States that like will no longer like want to create things like obviously AI is fucking up like creative integrity just own things. But I think also the powers that we.

Are purposely employing AI to muddy the water of journalistic integrity of media of all things, so that it blurs the line between real news and fake news, of real photos, fake photos, real videos, fake videos, real audio, fake audio, so that so that the people don't know if what they're looking at is real or not, and thus trust information less and then like we ultimately no longer are learning anything or are no longer able to trust sharing

So so yeah, so yeah, okay, first of all, you don't have to call your mom.

You do have to forgive her just for you. You do have to make you do really have to figure that out.

Yeah, you can't just be like man, I don't with her like that.

Yeah, it's just gooda that fuel doesn't burn clean. It is all I'm saying to you. You're not you're not You're not as strong as you think you are.

No, no, no, no, no, that takes a village. Yeah, I fully agree with you. Yeah, that wouldn't even it's a bummer. Yeah, but I think he's completely right. I felt sad the whole time.

Yeah. Yeah, it's hard when somebody calls in and there's not like a funny joke to take out of it.

No.

We we were sitting there looking dumb the whole time.

Yeah, it's just I think you're right. That's why I chose to focus on your relationship with your mother, because your conspiracy theory really upset me. Yeah, it is your mom, and I lashed out. Your mom is always That's really all you gave us with your mom.

You otherwise you were right nail on the fucking head.

For me, it's exactly bad.

This is this is something I've seen in film now. I've seen it in what was that that mountain movie from the dude that made Succession?

Oh, Fountainhead, Yeah that is about that. Yeah.

Essentially, they are sort of like disturbing reality. There are very few videos I watch now that I don't go was that AI, Yeah, it.

Happened, It's it's it's we're in it. We're in it, And media literacy as that goes up, media literacy is going down. So I think that we are finding ourselves in a place that is really, really bad. Yeah, And I think much like your relationship with your mother, who you do need to forget.

Yeah, I think we are heading.

Yeah, it's gonna gives bad.

We're so far in a direction that I don't know how to control that. It really like it scares me.

I kind of hope that in the way that like generations rebel, I hope at some point the kids are gonna be like computers are nerdy, and then they're not gonna want to fuck with it. As I have.

Heard is is where gen Alpha is trending right where they're a little more.

Like nostalgic for.

Songs and like videos of yester year, they're less like inclined to spend their whole day on their phones as much as like their generation before.

Everybody's just saying gen Z pretty fucked up.

But I've been saying I think I think everybody on the other side of it is.

No, gen Z's fucked up, but we're more fucked up because we don't know how to handle it. Gen Z at least has been managing it their entire lives. Gen Z.

Gen Z was like, I'm getting strapped and I'm not making kids to slow me down.

Bro We're like, we're we're like the first indigenous people they gave sugar to.

Uh huh, you know what we're saying.

We're like, what the fuck? Yeah, we're that white man feeding them to African people. Yeah. I was like, I'm gonna kill my wife. Yeah, I didn't.

Even know, Brod didn't even know this sour existed.

They've had sour their whole lives. So maybe they're addicted, but at least there's like a level of moderate. That's what like we gow on gen Z. But it's like, man, I millennials are on. We're on our phones all day, Like, no, we're bad. I don't know why we be. We really be trying to pretend like just because we remember the office means we're not fucking addicted to TikTok.

Yeah, No, we're we're equally addicted. We just are not acting it out the way that they are.

Yeah, because because we pretend like there's a distance. Yeah, we we pretend like we're not addicted to shit.

But we're still we are a generation that was raised by actual bullies, and so we're still scared of the repercussions of doing a dance so publicly. But they're like, bro, none of this is even fucking real. If I want to dance in public, I'm gonna dance in public and then I'm gonna post it and that will be valuable.

Which I kind of appreciate more because I've been recently trying to, at least in my own life, really understand like it's really easy to pretend like you're not on that shit. Yeah, It's like I'm on that shit, bro. I gotta like, like, I just like I think we processed it different, yep. And there's, like, like you said, like an unwillingness to integrate it into real life, which is probably good, but like, we're all on that shit, baby, Yeah, we all.

I don't know what drug that was first you wed it. You don't want that drug wet before you put it up your nose. It only smells good when it's wet.

The point is, yeah, man, this that call sucked. Yeah, it was like great for the conspiracy aspect. It was something I genuinely believe. It's something I've been afraid of for a long time. It is something that I really don't know what to do with my own children about. Yeah, it is not something I was pumped to hear you call about. No, maybe get drunk next time. You should have come fun to us. Yeah, maybe sing a little bit. People like to do that, but maybe open it with

Spin moves are free. Yep, do a spin move then called tap circle. Just just be be your.

Best self next time. Don't be sad. But we appreciate your call, and we're gonna say one more break, one more, one more breaking, then more. My mama told me rhymes are flying beets is sick. My crew is big and it keeps getting bigger. That's because Jesus Christ is turn on my base. I like to think he was in the book. It was like run that one back, Yeah, let it run, let it run. You are slow. You were slow. You're supposed to pick that up.

I come in on the one. Let's do let's do a final voicemail. Yeah, all right, we have one left. Let's do it.

Hey, Lenggstan David. My name is Johnny from Minneapolis, and I'm a long time listener since like twenty twenty eight, when Langston was by himself struggling.

Okay, David came.

Along and that's come on, man, I was struggling. They can't hear it. You said you were going crazy a little bit before.

But yeah, man, you know what happens is uh, I don't know how much we've said of this on the actual live cameras. What ends up happening when when you were not here is that you and I have such a healthy, natural banter together that nothing we ever end

Like, all right, I guess it's a serious episode. Yeah, and then now you got to do a whole serious episode, which is tough.

But I'm still trying to fire shit off and then they don't give it back, and then I go, yeah, it was a it was a nightmare being alone.

So I'm so happy you're here. Can't come he godet on me. Okay, let's continue this question.

This made the podcast it is today. But my mama told me, and I don't wait. First, I'm gonna try to discuss this with a woman. They don't have a don't have somebody on there who's a woman. This is their question. Ma. Mama told me that old niggas give you words. If you're messing around where you're a young woman and you mess around with someone much older, they give you words.

And that could be.

Literally or figuratively. This is coming from someone who had a baby by a old nigga.

So yeah, you got you gotta stop stop calling your babies worms. Yeah that's not right.

They're babies. They're human babies at all. It's Jeremy.

Jeremy is a person ah, I am out of my league on this one. I've never been with an old nigga, no me either, I have no nothing to speak on about their worms.

So I understand why.

She's now asking for a woman, a woman to weigh and should we ask Joel Yeah, Joel, hey, hey, in your experience and we don't want to presume, but in your experience, have old niggas ever given you or any of your contemporaries worms?

That crazy question?

Not worms?

What's the uh? Oh oh my whatever?

Bad if they weren't there beforehand, this is bad news.

I forget what this.

Uh, it's like pirates used to get it. It's not scurvy, but it's.

Like, jeloppe, what the fuck are you talking about?

Rickets? Uh?

It comes from you know, listen, sometimes folks be fucking around with old niggas and you know, oh niggas go after younger girls like usually don't have their ship together.

They look at her perceives.

And you know, yeah, maybe passing stuff worms is crazy. You gotta think how listen, you gotta be an extra level of dirty to be get in, like ringworm or something.

That's what she's talking about. I didn't picture ringworm. I've read vaginal pinworms before. WHOA, what's that? Bro? What? I just had heard of it? Somebody told me about it one time. Oh No, that's pinworms. I don't know if you want to google it, brother, I'm already in Man, you're gonna have to burn it. Did show you a picture? Did you show you a picture? Yeah? Do I want to see it?

No, but I'm gonna show you fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Fucking so bad. Yo. Can you lend a nigga a pencil? Don't lend them that pencil. If that's what old niggas are given, y'all, you gotta you got'm old, but you I'm twenty eight years old. If that's a possibility, you gotta get the fuck.

Out that you don't even do it. You can't let that happen to you.

Also, shame on you, old niggas if that's what they're because if you're walking around here with worms, you gotta chill, bro, chill.

Gotta you gotta get that cleared up. Look, man, I get it. We come from different generations. You don't know me, I don't know you. We don't have a lot to to bond over. But you gotta stop giving bitches worms. Yo, that's not cool. But you gotta fix your worms. I mean, if we're for real, you gotta fix your worm.

You can't have it. It's not even about it is about them and you being herresponsible. But also, Bro, you live in.

A car.

You didn't wash every once in a while. You gotta do. You gotta watch that car. Bro. That's and also was she does she mean that her maybe daddy? No, she just meant no.

I think she was just saying that her friend of hers that she had sort of heard through the grape prine that that all niggas give you worms.

And also we got to open it up if you're even if you're just getting burned, that's crazy.

Yeah, don't. I mean, it happens. It happens.

It happens to you know, if you're outside, you get you know, things happen. You're gonna get burned.

We're not shaming anybody who ends up with something that they didn't plan to have.

It happens to people. But you can't be giving that shit out. You can't. You gotta be able to cut it off. You.

This can't be. You can't wish that on other people.

Don't do that because one time is an accident, two times is a choice. Bro, worms, that's fucking and I don't even know what we're talking about completely. I don't know what worms. I don't know what works. No, I know about crabs. I don't really know. Yeah, worms, st I no seen you've done a lot. Let me all, Yeah, this is worms. SDI is gonna be worse.

They're gonna be coming out of the penis then, and I'm gonna feel it in my own guts.

That was a really bad picture. Okay, I'm gonna say, Oh, by the way, shout out to Ebony magazine Top twenty five creators.

Yeah, this is what Ebony likes, likes worms.

Yeah, shut out though. That was cool? Okay, what std Okay.

Tricky babies, that's what I'm scabies of course, scabies Yep, a dirty place.

Hey, watch them out. That's what she's talking about it, Joel, I'm sorry. Are you talking about that happening against Chicago or Los Angeles? Yes, that happened to a friend of mine.

It was horrific.

Okay, Joelle, you had the chance to stand up for our fine city right there.

I'm sorry.

I could you could have. You could have lied, you know, I know, motherfucker. It was in Denver, bitch, should should we take a game? No? No, no, keep it real. Uh you know what though it says it's a very common as tease I caused by infection, although symptoms vary most people with trich because it's short for trick. I'm gonna say, cannot tell they have it. I ain't got worms. No, I don't think that I do either.

Yeah.

I think they can't tell they have it because they're out here acting up, not because like they're they're getting a regular tune up and making sure it's all doing what it's supposed to do.

The point is wash wash down there, all of it.

Red Fox said it, Martin Lawrence said it big time, maybe on the most public platform anybody has ever said it, HBO, And then on fucking SNL. Oh yeah, yeah he did for his monologue in SNL and they cut the feet.

He said, I have to open with this. Yeah, that means maybe he caught one. When you watch sn L.

Now, if you go back and watch the Martin Lawrence episode, they have blacked out what he said and now have like a vo like talking over what he said because they're like at this point in the monologue. They're trying to be funny about it, but they're really playing the funk out of him because you know, he got banned for life.

Yeah, yeah, for telling them to wash their as.

Yeah, I think about this is about dick, This is about I think it's a It's about pussy choices.

Right right, right right, hear me now, And I get it. These old old niggas, attractive old niggas. He's got that toothpick, can't go on forwards or backwards. He'll he'll take good care of you. You see White guy's talking about when King goes all of a sudden. Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like it. Oh yeah, Charla may really he twisted up the game in a nasty way because I was always hoping kango would be a move I could revert to in my old agent. I can see that

Now, no, no, no, no, But the nice thing is in my cycle back, that's true. They're gonna get tired of it fast, and.

I'm twenty eight. There's a long time till I'm moved. Bro, you got all day twelve years, not too not too one and a half. Honestly, I'm a tourist. Let's yeah, should we take wait? Did we finish that one? He did all of the voice, We did all well, we did them all. We did this, we did the whole thing. Oh, that's the whole episode that.

We We had fun. You had fun, and who are you to say otherwise?

And you learned some stuff. You learned some stuff. You learned about worms in your pussy. You learned about worms and your dick.

You learned to love again, specifically your mother, who hurt you in a way that you.

None of us could have anticipated. Yeah, that's true, that's true. You want to tell the people where they can find you. Cool guy jokes eighty seven on Instagram. I'll be on there pretty soon celebrating my twenty ninth birthday. That's it for now. That's it, that's it, that's it.

Hell yeah, May sixth, come see me at the Allsion Theater in Los Angeles for the Netflix is a Joke Festival. I'll be telling my little jokes there.

And you got hours, man, at least if it's what you were doing. In New Orleans. My man's going crazy. Yeah, it's a fun hour. He's going nuts. Thanks man.

I'm really excited about what's coming down the pipeline.

I would go, but I have surgery.

That's okay. Should we talk about that off air that you have surgery. It's not like her, it's not crazy crazy. No, No, because i'd like to know. No, I'm trying to get more meat.

Let's get that. Let's get all the way deeper. If she asks you to.

Send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories, let us know how much meat is or is not enough at Mymama pod at gmail dot com. Give us a call at A four four Little Moms. Follow that goddamn Patreon subscribe. We are doing some fun stuff over day.

Over there too.

We are really acting a fool on.

A personal confession.

If you wanted to know private things about us that we regret telling you, the best place to find it.

Is on Patreon. And and I don't know, call your mama by bitch.

Mom, Do you have a feel you know?

Not so fresh?

No?

No, my mama told me. It's a production of Will Pharaoh's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

Created and hosted by Langston Krikin, co hosted by David Bori. Executive produced by Will Farrell, Hansani and Joel Monique, Edited and engineered by Justin Kohn, music by Nick Chambers, artwork by Dogon Kreeley.

You can now watch episodes of My Mama Told Me on YouTube. Follow at My Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel