My Momma Told Me Live from Pittsburgh!

What the fuck is that been burnt? Thank you for applauding Like you didn't see us hanging at the bar.

You knew we were here the whole time. There was nowhere else for us to go. I felt exposed. Well, we gotta get started. Whistle while you talk. Do do doop doo doo doop doop.

There it is, there it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.

The podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.

And we finally worked to prove that Neo has a vault filled with so many for doras that he can actually dive in and swim him like Scrooge McDuck.

Oh, I like that. I like I have a question because I think that I have a feeling. I know.

Oh no, it's okay, shut up, don't do that. They care about Yeah, you guys, David, not him. Let it happened to Langston, you know that start.

I'm the when they cut out of pictures. My question for you did you ever have a Fedora?

Did I?

I knew it. I knew it.

Yeah, I had one of those straw fedoras, you know, what I mean, Oh no, with like the brim and ship, what was the ribbon around?

What color was the ribbon around?

I feel like it was it was like one of those multicolored joints. So it was like blue and red and white. Yeah, and then that that tan straw like a summertime come on dog.

Oh man, you get that a little cracking a vanilla coke, that's the night.

Maybe now we stepping.

You never did a fa of course, not whoa bro? When did you see a bat guy in the door? Fedora? You were like cool?

Even in O eight you were still like brother, no a decision. I guess. I never thought it was cool, but I did think it was correct.

Yeah, that's that's much worse I was.

I was like, yeah, he stepped into his culture. Yeah he's got It's like a fact.

Dude with a Fedora also has a Mountain Deuke code red somewhere. Yeah, that's not like that great, no offense to any of your cultures.

If that's you guys out there. I don't want to be like that. Yeah, I feel like Pittsburgh is a big Mountain Deuke cold red town. I don't know a lot about you guys, but but you're code writting down here.

You're putting French fries on sandwiches. You're code ready. Yeah, you're doing co red.

What the fuck is up with these bugs? Man? Do y'all just live like this? This is psychotic.

It's a lot of bugs.

You could have told us y'all had roaches before you invited us to your house.

It's that's even scarier. They're far more alarming. No, we didn't have to have roaches until like fourteen fifteen.

Yeah. No, we've lived like this for years now, and we don't seem to be fixing it. I watched a video where a literal newsperson was stomping them out and being like, that's all you gotta do. You just gotta just got a murder him to be fair, He's correct, she she was, Oh, women can be newspeople too.

I think that. I think that some of my favorite news people are women, Sandra and Kathy.

But no, she was just stomping on the bugs and being like, they're invasive. So you got a fucking murder room.

Yeah, I mean, you know, I'm a bug killer from way back, so I get it.

Whoa damn. I feel bad. This is young, young, you gotta do something else besides just that bug carcasses lining your street. They got French fries on sandwiches. They're doing good. That's true Steelers story tradition. Mike Tomlin's still sleepy. Yeah, y'all got it? Whisk I know about your town? Did we get this? Let's just get started. Okay, we have a really phenomenal show set up for you guys, because.

You're the last show of our tour.

This is it, this is we said, where can we stop? What are we gonna feel like the job is done? Yeah? Where can we stop? That's gonna make it feel like we almost got pulled over, you know. No, we're happy to be here. This is exciting, this is great, and we're glad you guys came out. We're so excited you came out. And we really have planned a really fun show for you guys. We like to kick off these live shows by just warming you up with a little bit of a fun sort of like palette. Yeah, just

Just remember this was on you. It's your actions.

The way that this podcast works is David and I spend every week diving into some of the most dirty and salacious and sometimes funny conspiracy theories in.

The black community. Yeah, it's a very good podcast. It's educational, I would say, yeah, yep, since the guy you didn't go to college, for sure, I also think it's educational. I'm not shitting on you.

So that said, we we like to kick these live shows off with a conspiracy theory to sort of give you a sense of how we talk and what to expect. That you get a taste of how reckless were there. Yeah, and this is a fun one. We've never covered this on the podcast at all, even before me, I think I think it has certainly come up in conversation, but there has never been a designated day.

For this. Sorry, right, I'm excited.

Yeah, so the the the conversation at hand, My mama told me the legend of doctor Sebby.

Ah, that was an odd reaction. I can't tell if you're pro or call Yeah.

You got same weird disappointed?

Are you guys familiar with doctor Sebby?

So I'm searing some yeses, some knows. For those of you that are unfamiliar, do you want to give them a breakdown? Or who this king is? This modern marvel of medicine.

Yeah, I think I think you gotta give the rundown first thing. All I want to say is this nigga's name is Alfredo. For real, that's his name. So all of his exploits remember that this is just a dude named Alfredo doing this.

Yeah. Whatever whatever judgment you want to place on this, you gotta, you gotta factor in Alfredo. He looks like an Alfredo. Look at him, Bredo, That's what I was. He definitely goes by Freido.

Oh yeah, if you saw him across the street right, his.

Mama call him al but everybody else he's.

Fredo outside the house.

Yeah. Doctor Sebby became I guess, most popular and I heard someone already say it. He became most popular for people claiming that he had somehow cured a lot of very serious incurable diseases. He has been credited for finding cures for aids, finding cures for cancers. He credit It depends who you're giving credit to. He said he did that, and then a few people were like, yeah, I saw it. Yeah, yeah, I've seen what happened.

He did that.

A lot of his cures. This is where it becomes sort of this fascinating conversation is because it's very holistic rooted medicine, right, Like, he doesn't believe in any sort of like special sciences and shit, it's just like alkaline water and vegetables and certain spices and herbs and that apparently is enough to make you free of criminal illnesses that have killed generations of people.

First of all, I don't love the judgment in your voice. I feel like you're supposed to present this so biased. I apologize, and you did not do that. You want to put a drop on someone. Get this jigaboo away from me.

Yeah, why would you clap for that? Yeah? What was applause worthy inside of that? Shame on you. Yeah, I didn't like it, Like is that terry?

Yeah?

But doctor Sebby has become a little bit of a I guess, an anti hero in a lot of ways.

I mean he's a nipsey hustle lyric that's like, yeah, good.

And there are some who say, and this is where it becomes very sort of like the scary conspiratorial, right, is like doctor Sebby sort of creates these cures and potentially is saving live with these magical herbs and spices. I don't like popeyes. He wasn't making chicken with it. I think he was telling you how to make the chicken.

It's different.

Yeah, but but he also I think it has become a little bit of a martyr in a few spaces where in his death. In his death people say that he was killed and or his death is connected to the cures that he found. That essentially the government was afraid of his potential threat to solving these problems that they don't want solved, and then subsequently he was murdered because of it.

Yeah. Well, I mean because if you believe the government died of pneumonia, that.

Feels crazy, which he already had herbs for that.

Yeah, you get pneumonia and die. Now, I mentioned it like six times, and you mentioned you mentioned Nipsey Hustle.

And this is where it becomes even more interesting, is that there are some who believe that Nipsey Hustle was killed because he was working on a documentary about doctor Sebbe, which was then going to become nationally known expose these these cures and and ultimately make it a popular thing that the government couldn't control.

Because he said they killed doctor Sebbe he was teaching health. Like, yeah, so, I mean, where do you stand on this? Because me personally, I'm of two minds.

Right.

Yeah, I know not to trust any doctor endorsed by rappers. You know what I'm saying, Like, I know that like doctor Miami, don't trust him.

Yeah, you get too thick, you get just get ass. You can't just get ass too thick, too fast.

It's not it's the trajectory. You're building yourself up for a fall. Lady. Uh or dude, Yeah, I'm off for heblsh.

We could get snatched. Yah, come on, bring my ways then, yo?

Is that what you would do if you had to get presenterition? No, I have big nipples and i'd fix them right away. You referenced this a couple of times. Yeah, no, dog, I don't like them, but you don't have like biz marquis. I'm not as familiar with biz marquees. Nipples don't do that to me.

It was it was all over the internet, don't I guess I wasn't there that day.

I didn't. I'm gonna I'm gonna google it. Keep talking. Here's the thing I just so. Yeah, you think it's auto populates when I look it up?

Biz marks nipples. Biz markis nipples from the bottom, biz Marque's nipples from the top.

Well, you gotta see him from the side. That's the only way you get it.

H Oh fuck, it's crazy.

I mean, if you're out there, you get quite ze, can we Yeah, you can connect to my hotspot.

It's crazy. Yeah, I'm gonna try to pull this up, but then we're gonna ruin the PowerPoint. But that's okay. It's extremely off put it. Don't read any of this stuff on my computer. Fuck you, fuck you. Yeah, we didn't plan for this. Fuck you. Yeah we should.

You would think we would have his nipples loaded up, like because they're so crazy.

You would think it just be my background screen.

No, you don't want to live like that. Well, yeah, you keep talking incredible nipples. Do you need my hotspot? No?

I need to figure out how to Oh there it is, okay, I just already had the page open and I just didn't know that.

Okay, and it's coming right now. Before we do, we are gonna need to dwell on this for a second. Everybody starts saying the Pledge of allegiance. Oh oh man, I've never seen it on a screen, this big boo.

Yeah, it's about to get weird, y'all. Everybody, haha. Now you have to know about it. Now, you have to know about it. That's that's not healthy. And that's what doctor Sebby was working on. Those were one of the cures he was trying to find.

He was, you gotta fix me, doc, doctor, please, please, Like, I got some spices for it.

He's like, brother, you just need alkaline water, rub the silatro on your news. Them nipples gonna suck back up like a chrysalist. I don't know. It's real fucked up. And imagine smoking a cigar like that the gall What are you celebrating body positivity? Baby?

Are you positive? Because I'm not? I mean those nipples are They look like negative science, look like a couple of big black minuses.

They look like they look like half finished toothpaste. Oh did I take it too far? I did something wrong? Grow up, Pittsburgh. You guys have bugs in your house. Grow up.

Everybody's seen a nipple. They were uncomfortable with before.

But the point being doctor Sebby I think has become this weird martyr where people claim that his genius is not being celebrated. His is sort of like his contributions are being minimized largely for profit, right that like he there there there is no profit to what he's offering because it's all natural and the government can't take advantage of it. And subsequently they needed him dead to keep him from doing it.

And I think to be to be true, to be like more serious about it, I think that is the issue with conspiracies like this that make them so be easy to believe, is like if it's based on the greed of others, then you're like, yeah, of course, the it's a it's a racket, right, So many charities are a racket all that, here's this guy who's telling as because we want to believe that we just have everything we need from the ground like and it's like and that's why when I when I look at someone like

That's the thing. It's like, I I don't know that I even disagree with what he's suggesting, right, that, Like, if you do eat a healthy your diet, if you do take care of yourself more stringently, if you're really like on your shit, you will live a healthier life. That objectively is true. But if you get AIDS, I don't think a papaia is gonna fix it, do you know what I mean? Like, I don't think that that's the difference maker, and you may will, Like I think

I mean, I understand that. And it is also like we can't use Massic Johnson as the bar for anything. That shit's incredible. Whatever's going on over there, that's we can't compare to that.

Six nine two fifty point guard. Yeah you ain't got it, bro.

I'm saying, Bro, if I get age tomorrow, that should get I give you two years. Yeah, I'm out. AINS will kill me. I believe it.

I'm out.

I'm not strong like that.

AINS is gonna do stuff to me that they don't even do to other people. Yeah, I'm gonna lose my toenails for some reason. That big. Yeah, they're gonna be itchy. Why I have my nipples? Itchy? You got as you got age? So I do I think to your earlier question, do I believe in the working of doctor Sebbi, or rather the works of doctor Sebbi? I do? I do believe that like what he's teaching people is is objectively a healthier lifestyle.

Okay, that that's fair. This man is a criminal.

Yeah, yeah, okay, because that's I think there is a point to that where it's like, yeah, but he was like, hey, I cured cancer. Yeah, no, he's lying. Yeah, I saw this the other day. I don't know how familiar you guys are with this, this extension of the conspiracy theory. But there are some people who believe that he actually cured cancer from Michael Jackson's one biological son. No, there's like there's like a nigganame Omar, Wait what Omar Jackson

Yeah, it's all up.

Yeah, Cannon believes in doctor Sammy, and Cannon's a big believer in say red fucking Fly, like if Determined believes in I'm out. Uh. But so there's a a a conspiracy theory that there is a different kid. I don't believe it's Blanket or any of the others. He has like an old name who had a basically like a brain cancer, like a frontal lobe cancer, and then met

See it's shit like that that I know. I gotta go back to school because like, I know that's not real. But in my like in my brain, I know that that's big. But in my heart I heard you say that. I'm like, it could be Yeah, comes out of your nose, Prove to me it doesn't.

Some of this not might be cancer. I don't know.

Yeah, I'm hawking it up either way. Uh. And like stuff like that is fun. It's fun to kick the ball around ultimately with the guy like doctor. He also was just involved in a lot of illegitimate shit, right, Like the way that he died. They found him with a bunch of laundered money that he had no accounting for and then they arrested him and he got pneumonia and died.

Yeah, no, it's not He didn't die some hero like you know, fighting for our salvation. Right, he died running from his his you know, trying to beat the case.

That's not like And also, if you if pneumonia can take you, you gotta be healthy as shit. If you're gonna pretend like you cured cancer, pneumonia took you out.

Yeah, come on, dog, what's happening with your body? If if the herbs aren't working on you, I'll be damned something with the silent p's gonna take me in. I'm dying by a hard constant. This is like a dying by platypus.

Yeah, I'm gonna get scurvy.

Yeah. I think that he was by I think it's fairly clear that he was a scam artist. But I don't think that all scams are rooted in malice, if that makes sense.

I think he I think Alfredo is a criminal. Though, yes, I agree with what you're saying. I think this man was trying to profit off of like being bad. It's bad to give people the hope that you can cure cancer if you can't, Right, that's like objective. That's a terrible thing to do. People got kids with cancer and shit, you know what I mean. Yeah, you're like, just drink his water and then your kid's gonna you.

Know what I mean. That's such a But I do think that that teaching people, and that's what I mean. It's not as much malicious as it is like fucking the magic green beans, you know what I mean? No, I don't know. I'm not familiar with that terminal. Like I think he's just boy, did you leave me out to hang? I'm sorry, I don't know. I'm sorry.

I don't know what you meant by I think, Oh, no the beanstalk. Yeah, I'm sorry that we're back. I'm sorry.

I think I think what he's offering people is is just hope, hopeful, and they're not going to believe him. If he just goes, hey, if you eat a healthier diet and you live a healthier lifestyle, maybe I can elongate your life. He has to make these exaggerated claims, which is not kind, it is not right, It is not just, but it is salesmanship. I think he was just doing salesmanship by being like, what you got hepatitis B? I got something for that, you know what I mean?

I mean, I well, I guess my issue with it, or what makes me sad about it, is like we are so it feels like often we're so susceptible, well to specifically this type of conspiracy theory. And that's like because it's like we go to the doctor, like it's just these things where it's like this feels particularly insidious towards black people.

And that's what and that's why I don't I like to be like this guy's like a criminal. Yeah, And I do think if we want to broaden this out a little bit, I do think it speaks to how disadvantaged black and brown people have been made to feel in this country as it relates to healthcare, that this is the type of person we would find ourselves.

Turning to so named Alfredo.

Yeah, it's like if you if you give us real opportunities to see doctors and get a clear perspective on what a healthy lifestyle can be as it relates to traditional medicine, maybe I don't listen to Alfredo and I just follow real doctor instructions, But you don't give us health I don't. I don't go often enough. Yeah, same, I gotta do things. I'm embarrassed about that. I'm like, I let it go too far. I can't tell a man now, I get that, Like I won't go in

White people are bad. We'll get to that yard. That's one stance in this podcast.

Yeah, yeah, we're not We're not exempting white people from this, and in fact, I think that's more of the point. Is is maybe if white people weren't being so mean about healthcare in the first place, we wouldn't have to turn to doctor Sebby for those magic vegetables he's offering.

That was good, Thanks, dog, that was a really good summer.

Yeah.

I'm still feeling bad for hanging you out to dry on that beans. Press a good button, we'll sell I got you, baby, I'd rather check myself before I wrecked myself. Yeah, you can unblugg it.

All right. That was good?

Yeah, you got it? Okay. I think that's that you feel warm. Right, We did the thing. You guys don't understand where we're you know how this thing works. We've been playing this really fun game.

This is the best.

This is our favorite game that we've been playing on the road. Is a brand new game that it that is strictly has been built for the road. So none of you have ever heard of it, which is exciting, But it's a brand new game called Quid pro quo.

Ho.

I'll let you soak that in Joe finger licking Biden Baby. I'd wear a new I wear a newport outfit. Yeah, I think you gotta wear one at a time. As a problem, it's like the top or the bottom, you can't go out. That's a lot. Yeah, that's a lot to put on people. I like how the p line's up next to your penis. So the way this game works,

Yes, that's great.

Yeah, I fucked it up last night.

I wasn't even gonna bring it up.

So with that in mind, or if you understand the game and if you're you're willing to participate, are there any I see a hand shooting up in the back already? Are there people that want to participate? Yeah? In the back?

Fuck?

Yeah, come on up? Yeah all right, yeah don't yeah, give it up. Yeah I don't know. Yeah, fuck yeah, you.

Didn't get that microphone right there? There we go.

Hey, it's bright. Yeah, you gotta get used to that. Yeah, what's your name? Like?

Hooray?

Yeah, thank you for doing that.

Yes, deray. We are going to to put it up on the screen. So as long as you can see that and you can see us, then you're good. Here's your here's your possibility. Here's your first quid pro quo ho. Cardi B punches DJ Academic square in his Cardi B. Yes, yeah, well.

There's there's a butt.

No it's not.

It is her versus him technically, but it's like a world where she beats the ship out of Academics.

We finally get to see him beat up and Cardi B is the one to do it. But Taraji B Jnsen is a hardcore Republican. Now, this one is difficult. That's pretty tough. Take your time.

We gotta take back and that's come on, Taraji, that's the best cry.

In the game.

Come on, you see baby boy. She's crying for like forty five minutes. BT won't let me stop watching it.

Auntie Taragi.

Yeah, is now a very hardcore Republican and she's vocal about it. Yeah, it isn't like that the rock ship where he keeps it a secret?

Is she? Is she a Trump Republican?

Or the which one? Which one do you hate the most? She's that?

Okay?

But okay, we get to see Cardi b fuck up DJ academics. Yes, yeah, man, quite possibly the only other man on earth with bismarcky nipples.

Please don't pull any more male nipples.

We should look up. We gotta look up, DJ, Yeah, we should. We got just to see if maybe that's already out there.

Okay.

Question clarifying question for you and or the crowd. The beatdown that Cardi puts on Academics is Academics rendered unable to walk or talk for the rest of his life.

Jesus Christ, whoa we wanting to catch an ass whooper not getting maimed?

Whoa get real psychopath? Yeah? Deray like hoay, I.

Just want to know how severe, Like is she walking out with another nott on her head? Or is he walking out on a street?

No?

No, no, she works him good like everybody's dog.

Wak okay, okay, you's got.

A dog and everybody you don't get it.

You don't get a single hiten. No, he tries and it's like and it's fair. He's that kind of guy. He would fight her, Yeah, he would fight and we can't have that. She snuffs him.

We can't have that.

Now, if you would have said Tory Lanez or someone else that would have been I think about.

Him academic puts in the world. It's awful to We can't beat up somewhere already.

We can't lose Taraji. We already lost that other woman whose name I will not say, yes, but we can't never had Auntie. We can't lose her.

There was no Auntie.

And I know there are other like shooters in the street who will catch academics otherwise.

Are they are there? Because he seems to be doing well.

We can't have him beating up Cardi b no.

No, no, no, he doesn't beat it up.

She only that's the only possibility.

But so he don't get no licks.

In no, no at all.

I can't sacrifice.

I understand, I understand fair enough.

Okay, thank you, thank you, everybody.

Thank you.

Now Langston, where do you stand on that?

I I think, if I'm being completely honest, I think I live pretty close to where Deray is. I can't. Here's the problem. I worry that even if we beat up DJ academics, that only makes him more powerful.

Right.

I think that video will objectively go viral, and I think he'll find some way to pivot that into more opportunity that it doesn't make sense, but somehow I think you got to cut off his head like a highlight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you're gonna need a thick knife for that. This one is hard for me because, like you know, it's one of.

My little guilt pleasures. I hate watch a lot of academics pretty regularly. That's yeah, well I got a lot of things, so it's not. But so like man seeing Carti and Cardi would be the best one to do it, and like it would be great to see him get it, but you're right. I just I don't think I could. I just think back. I just close my eyes and I see like I'm seeing hustle and flow, I'm seeing empire, and I can't. I don't think I can give it up.

That's also one of David's things. No, this guy's sick. I do. I love her. I love her personality. She's like, she's truly a person I'm thankful for. I think every time you hear a story about her, you see an interviewer, she's so great that I don't think.

I don't think it's worth it. Yeah, I don't think.

It's just such a fun lady. She's so fun, and you don't want to lose a fun lady to a bad politics. Yeah, I mean yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not worth it, not worth it, But boy would it be nice? Huh?

We could dream?

Yeah, I hope all of you lay down to night on your pillows and think about DJ Academics getting punched in the head multiple times by a lady who makes bird sounds. She's also so fun. Yeah, she's fun. I

I used to watch it for hours. I love her.

No, I just remember so much of her success, even before the album became what the album became, It was just her like yelling things that Bernie Sanders had kind of said yeah, but then she she would like articulate it in a way that like Bernie Sanders could not. Obviously she's amazing. Yeah, no, it was really it was really powerful work she was doing. We got we gotta get it out of here. And also that ass ain't bad either. Come on, that's just so crazy. She got

Yeah, say your name.

My name is Will.

Will. I it up for Will for Will. This is complicated. We've never had a white Yeah, we never had a white person played this game. Okay, this is gonna be weird. You thought you could carolanize the game fair enough? I mean it looks like we already all right, take it easy, Will, I don't love this. This is Pittsburgh, my man. Save that for Austin. Okay, you're you're, You're a subject. And I hope it's an appropriate one. Yeah, this could go I surely don't know. I don't remember the order. Oh

This isn't another one of your things, is it.

No?

I don't think I wrote this one thing. I wrote.

I just was making sure that you don't do this every day.

Damn that's a bad you know damn it.

Look at that.

That's why it's so sour. Damn it.

Uh, college dropout and itaat and heartbreaks and.

We don't have the last few years, it just goes away.

And remember and he doesn't wear a make America Great hat again never.

And remember it's a new naked picture of Clarence Thomas. You don't get to like get used to.

I'll take a look at triple Dick to No.

It's not just dick. Sometimes he's gonna be looking back at yeah. Yeah.

Sometimes he's just showing you goo. Yeah. Sometimes it's like straight up, just like open you see it all in there.

I mean, I mean I I I'll look at some old man balls to get old Kanye back.

I would Wow.

It sounds like the audience cigaret Will.

That's crazy, Yeah, because I think I think we lost a genius. I think I think I think he just got thrown into the spotlight with the Kardashians.

And I agree. But you want to see that booty hole.

I look at worse ship on the internet.

Oh no, oh fuck Will, God.

Damn, I can't. I'm just targeted.

It's Instagram targeted ads.

Yeah, that's what I say.

Too big it up for Will. Everybody said will save the planet. You guys have put a lot of faith in Kanye. Remember he's focused on the music. He's still pretty dumb.

That's and that's okay. So that's what part of the thing is my stance on that, where it's like, even if he didn't, if the Kardashian shit never, he was still we were gonna DIVERSI in opinions at some point. I do feel like that. I feel like he was coming sooner or later. So if it wasn't, obviously this current has been pretty bad, but it would have been some other ship where he would have been like, now we make poke music and I've been like, yeah, see he fucking.

Now he We gotta remember that he was yelling about the leather joggers before Kim. Yeah, that was that was Amber days. Yeah, that was like when he was still somewhat centered as as far as an artist disconcerned. I hate to be that guy, but that the leather joggers thing was kind of blown out because he brought he brought them the idea and they rejected it and then released it as a produp like a year later.

I would be pissed too. Yes, leather jogging pants are a stupid idea whatever, but the fact that they stole they rejected it and stole his idea that I would. I think that's o Katie yell about it. I'm not for Maga. I don't think slavery was a choice, But leather Joggers, I'm team.

I'm for it. Here. Here's what I'll say. If Kanye showed up with physical designs of the leather Joggers, I would one hundred percent be on your side. If he walked in and he was like, bro, already did the work, here's the shit, I'm showing it to you, and then they stole it, that makes sense to me. I think the nigga walked in, stood on a table and was like, leather Joggers, y'all ain't did it? What's up? And they were like, bro, get off our furniture and leave. And then he was like they stealing.

I don't think I think that. I believe in dreamers. I think that's just what I don't think. I don't think it's that bad. If he did stand on the table, it was still an idea that he had that they didn't have that they You know what I'm saying. It doesn't like just because of the presentation, he still got the meeting. It wasn't like he kicked the door down and was like look like they were like, yeah, he ain't come in and we'll talk to you.

You know what I mean? So you acted a fool, We don't know about that. You're putting that on him.

You will shider you.

On Big Fashion, you know what I'm saying.

That being said all the other ship is a problem.

I think there's a fair amount of historical evidence to say he acted a fool everywhere he's been. That said, I would love to get Kanye back to work on music, but.

Also, man, look at this dude. What if he's making that face and all the.

Pictures, Honestly, I would prefer he's making that face smiling or like looking coy. Yeah, what if he has his tongue out, Then you're like oh, and you see it every day, so eventually you are gonna start to feel something.

For it, because you're gonna start to discern. You're gonna be like, oh, that is a sexy one compared to tuesdays.

I think. I think I think Clarence has been eating better.

He's on that Doctor seven ship. But I think.

That said, I think it's a necessary sacrifice. I would love to get Kanye back, So I would I would look at them naked photos.

This is hard because it feels like he's looking at me now waiting for me to answer. Yeah, you're right, but I don't like it. I'm with you, but I hate this one. Yeah, where are you guys? Round of applause.

If you would, you would take Kanye back for these naked photos?

Fuck up?

Okay now, round of applause. If that's too much to ask, one truth.

Warrior man, just one real nigga in the bad, one hero amongst you.

Either that or one dude who's like, I agree with what he said about the Jews. Ahead. You never can't out with our audience.

It can really go either way. They ain't used to me. Oh I don't.

I don't want to say anything because I like to show next one. Yeah, who's the next volunteer? Any another volunteer? Yeah? Oh I pick yeah you get yeah. Yeah, keep it going. We're gonna do the thing. Introduce yourself, Brandon, Brandon. Yeah, the guys, I think they paused their collapse because you came in a little intense branded Brandon. We're excited you're you're playing with us. David saw you.

Malcolm X is never Malcolm X is never assassinated. But instead of Denzel Washington, they cast t I to play him in the movie. Damn, imagine two and a half hours a t I doing a lot of this.

Fortuitously, expetitiously, like Clifford Harris is, Yeah, that's right, like he I like at L.

But was he even acting in at L. I'm pretty sure he thought it was a documentary. It felt like it was like, now I have a roller skates.

Go home movies.

I had Almedo.

Man. I'm sad to say, but uh, miss the honorable Lewis Fercom might have to put a hit on on me because Malcolm is just gonna have to stay dead.

Damn. Fuck. He didn't. He didn't stand on that ship called what the fucking bonds? God? Damn.

Mainly because also I figured he was that much honorable el Hod Malik Shabaz at the time.

Look he trying to go off because he because he tried to kill the nigga, don't be like that ship. Did not put that ship out.

I figured at some point down the line, if it wasn't gonna be whoever the conspiracy theories thought it was gonna be, Malcolm was so strong of a figure that he posted too much of a threat and somebody from the government was going to take him out anyway. So whether I delay that and then as a as as a as a movie person myself, like, just let Denzel have that in my mind, have that embreded in me, and and and because of that, because of Denzel's like portrayal in that, it made me go back to read

We don't we don't. We do not stand up? T I is a lot of things, but he ain't no stand up exactly.

Here's my other thing about this. Also, if it then it has, then we have have t I and Spike Lee in that movie because I don't how do you feel about Spike Lee and I don't like.

Those are two personalities I don't care for.

Oh, you guys like Spike Lee and Malcolm because that was your favorite. I know everybody hated that he put himself in there.

Yeah, No, he's not good.

Yeah, he should have gott an Academy Award for that one.

Spike Lee, Yes, yes, okay, yeah, I thought you meant when he was having that yellow suit on, well we.

Go in Detroit.

I like pork and white women too much. Yeah, that's what he said in the movie.

So you're saying, you're saying, at the end of the day, the assassination was inevitable even if it doesn't happen when when we see it happen, and thus you are willing to make that sacrifice for the grow that comes out of seeing Denzel play of Malcolm X later in life.

Yes, martyrdom goes way farther than having exploitation on film.

Wow, damn powerful, give it up for my man, give it up for Brandon everybody. The memes would be pretty good. Am I wrong? This would be thirty years of the Internet of just pure fun. Every time something goes wrong, we would return to t I playing Malcolm X and laughheartedly.

It would be like a new crying Jordan me, mama.

Yeah, it would be a perfect time for Twitter X whatever the fuck you want to call it.

I mean it's in the name. It would be great.

It would be t I's X.

Here's my thing. Here's here's another issue I have with t I though, is like, if we let t I start in this movie, then we have to deal with t I after having played Malcolm X.

Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

And that's crazy, Like he already thinks he could do things he can't do. Yeh Like, imagine and he actually got validated by playing He'd be insufferable. It would be crazy.

Well, here's I don't disagree with you. I think that's absolutely correct. But I do also think that if t I plays Malcolm X, this doesn't end up in theaters. You know what I mean. Two B situation is this is at best one of those lifetime movies where they can't call him Malcolm X. They gotta call him like Maurice W or some shit. You know what I mean. He's like not they don't get the rights for like a no budget. Yeah, it's the worst thing.

Okay, Then then we think it is I I mean, if I have to, if I have to make a if I have to make a true choice.

Though Tip's got a state of music, man, you gotta kill Malcolm. Yeah, I think I agree, I think, But to the greater point. I think that was a very good way to put it. They were gonna kill it. Yeah, And I think to your point, martyrdom is stronger than anything that Malcolm X could have continued to sort of offer us beyond the point that he expired. You know what I mean that at some point we boondocks did

A couple of them. We tried to get bun beats too. There's a long line.

When we were in Houston. We went to go get Treilburger's from Bumbee's restaurant and the line was too long, and then we ate somewhere white.

So it really that did suck.

We got cheese steaks instead. It was a real vile choice. Afterwards, it we owe be a big apology. I'm sorry it went down.

Yeah.

I do think, uh, you got to accept the assassination and keep t I out of this this business.

All right, that's fair, that's fair. Yeah, all right, who wants to do the next one?

Oh? I see somebody standing? I think hand yeah, okay, yeah, one of y'all both y'all got your hands up. You pick each other, y'all.

Know each other, you know?

Yeah, go ahead hell yeah, yeah yeah, feel free to to take the mic out. You're very tall, very tall? Yeah, hell yeah? Are you scared? Right? Yeah? Dude? Whatever makes you come? Yeah?

What's your name? Ducket, Ducket, give it up for Ducket, Ducky.

Like Eric Comparish Millennium ducts.

All right, em do that e b MD remember the seventy two thousand and he's like Eric Comparable.

Yeah, I don't even know. I left you out to drive. No, it's okay now that yeah, No, I need to do something to shame myself. Ugly, you're disgusting. I'm going to kill you. Give me two hundred dollars. Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

That's okay, all right, You ready duck yet? Yeah? I'm ready? All right? Man?

Yeah?

This what is you are?

We get definitive proof that Jesus Jesus Christ was black, but he looked and talked exactly like Tracy Morgan, exactly like Tracy Morgan. That's the cut old baby call. I'm gonna get to pregnant all that shit that's your Lord and savior, but with the same waves too, So Jesus was spinning it. Yeah, but but the waves are sideways remembered for some reason, he puts his dow rag on in the opposite direction that waves are meant to go, and he.

I'm gonna be honest, I'd rather Jesus Christ go back to looking like Kyle.

Whoa, there's too much of a sacrifice for you.

I already feel like too when I go to church. I can't take this.

I understand.

That's really that's very it's very true. That's very reasonable. So you say, ultimately, this is not a sacrifice you're willing to.

Make like Kyle can get me to buy I Love Jesus T shirt.

Damn. All right, man, No, wait, but but listen before you fully make your decision. Although it does sound like you've landed pretty hard on it, remember that this also means that white people acknowledge that Jesus was black.

So like when they're when they're preaching.

But they have to acknowledge that, Yeah, no, he's they have to.

He's on the cross with that big belly and sideways waves. But that's who they pray to.

Yeah, you would have had you would have had me if that was Samuel Jackson.

Okay, but what about the hilarity of it a bunch of white people? And then he's like, I turned the squad into why and do not break that? Yeah, that's hilarious.

They have pictures of Tracy Morgan in their homes, like white men have Tracy Morgan tattooed on their chest.

He's like, you could eat You could eat that, baby. That's my bread. That bread is my belly. That bread is where my knees be y'all hungry. I could make some fish.

I could make a whole lot of fish.

That don't seem pretty cool if that was written in the scripture?

Nah, bro. He played his part in The Longest Yard too well. From my liking. It seemed like he was a little too like comfortable in the skirt for my liking. So he couldn't be My Lord said, it looks it looks spicy looking at him this way.

All right, give it up for ductive product, everybody, where.

Do you live? Of course I wanted to be Tracy Morgan.

This seems like an easy answer for me, Tracy Morgan being Jesus Christ.

Come on, all the Jesus stuff is now Tracy Stuff.

The Passion of the Christ is a biopink about Tracy directed by Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson loves Hates Jews, loves Tracy Moore hates the Jews because they killed Tracy Morrison. That's That's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Yeah, you you live your life open for a joke like

But if they're.

Funny, who the fuck cares? Come on, you know what I mean? You don't fight over Tracy Morgan. You just let it be whatever the fuck it is.

You know what I'm pitching. As an addendum, I think also Mohammed's Jim Carrey.

And he's like, somebody draw me, oh man, you're a funny guy dog. Yeah, I think they should just be silly man and can be Tracy Morgan. That seems fucking awesome. Yeah.

And and to your point, yeah, you bring levity to this stuff. Maybe people killing each other. Yeah, that would be tight like that. Yeah, all right, we got we got another one.

Yeah, we got two more. Do we have another volunteer? I know there were two hands back there a second ago. Oh we did that. The lady didn't put her hand back up, but her new friend put her hand back up, So yes, please come on, thank you give it up for come on.

This is.

Also you should google Tracy Morgan's nipples because they're actually very small.

Yeah. I think tiny nipples are.

I don't know.

If I don't know what's bigger, funnier big nipples.

The big ones aren't funny to me. My wife doesn't seem to laugh too much either. I feel like you're exaggerating. It can't be as bad as you're talking about. They're pretty juicy.

You remember that singer t Q. Do you have nipples like him?

I don't remember.

Oh yeah, big as nipples were.

After the show, we're going to be in the back googling nipples for pleasure. If you want to join in right now. We research research, So if you want to join in, feel free, but introduce yourself.

So Taylor, yeah, he said a tone.

You got to respect it.

Yeah, it's gotta be a little deeper.

Keep it going for Taylor, everybody going for h You got this one.

We erased Tyler Perry from the history books, but Will Smith admits that he fucked Martin one time. Somebody say, Yo, there's lots of umpact here.

Take your time.

So it wasn't use that microphone. So it was an entanglement I'm hearing, yes, okay.

And not not new crazy Martin good ninety three, Martin Martin at his peak. Yeah, not Martin literally Bad Boys, first movie Bad Boys.

Yeah, so I need to understand, like how it happened.

Okay, we can draw We can, we can. That's reason. I'll be honest.

We didn't. We didn't do this ahead of time, but we can do it for you now. For sure. You deserve that.

You deserve that. I mean, I think it was, uh, it was one night after shooting bad I think it's a long day on set. It's a long on set there in Miami. Already a sexy town. Right, they're in Miami. It's summertime in Miami. You know how that makes Will Smith feel?

And I think they will after the long days, like, bro, let me just show you Miami. Because Martin doesn't love Miami.

No, He's like he loves d C because he's from there. And he's like me, I'm home sick. I don't even like it down here. I don't speak Spanish. Yeah, he hates Miami. And Will Smith's like, I'll show you my Miami.

Yeah, I'm gonna show you my Miami. And they have they have a fucking night.

Oh, they have a time.

They know, we gotta keep building. You asked for this.

Yeah, they go out. They go to the club and the club is playing Will Smith like B sides like Boom Shake the Room.

But they're but they're doing cool ship where they like Will remix the Martin theme song into the Will Smith ship. Yeah, both feelings seen. Yeah, and then like DJ is like time boys ship like that. Yeah, they're fucking they're in it right and they're having a great time. And then somebody offers them a little bit of a party drug. There's a little party drugs, you know, sliding around Martin

Yeah, because Martin, Will's knocking the drugs, and then Martin, who's already on drugs, looks at him.

He says, bad boys for life.

This is feeling very Andrew Gillon, it's feeling very well, Andrew O.

Andrew Gillam for those that are was a I think it was running for senator in Florida. Maybe it was governor. The governor of Florida. Was a very successful candidate, made it all the way to like fucking forty nine point nine percent of the vote, and like was meant to be like the Democratics superstar of the future, and then got caught in a hotel with male sex workers, white male sex workers, like six months after his president or his potential presidential run.

I get that, But this is blacklove.

Yeah, keep that in y and nobody's being taken advantage of it. No, it's a.

Holy consectual there. And they're on nineteen ninety three when it was called ecstasy. They don't even call it molly. They're on ecstasy.

Tabs, right, So they're drinking a lot of water because it was dangerous back then.

Yeah, and they're just feeling the vibes. What's got a shirt on? But they're dancing that what's that song? I Don't Want to Shine? And they're like dancing, and then Martin like starts dancing and he turns.

Around and the club is packed. They're pushing into each.

Other, turns it around, and then Will just kind of lets it happen. Yeah, and then they get in like sync. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, Like they get.

In sync, and you didn't know they didn't know that they knew this dance together.

Yeah, they didn't know their bodies went together, like you know what I'm saying now.

But they're also yeah and this is before camera phones, so and nobody's gonna fucking believe you.

Yeah, nobody's gonna believe me.

I think Martin Lawrence and Bill Smith are about to fuck at this club.

And then, you know what, in the final move, Martin reached back and puts his hand on Will's head. Yeah you know what I'm saying, Because when that happens, it's about to go down and then we.

Won't get graphic.

Yeah.

But but just know that it was a sexy evening out in Miami.

It was consensual and it was beautiful. But also they're like, that was just what we did in Miami that one.

Yeah, and I think in the morning they made breakfast together. Yeah, and then they went to set in separate cars. They didn't bring it up, but but they truly became bad boys for life. Okay, now what is your answer?

Okay, we don't need another we don't need another media. So we're already there. So here's the thing. If will Smith admits that he fucked Martin once, like think about it, Like that's a weird ass family. He probably fucked Martin. Jada fuck Martin. They all fucked Martin. Imagine it. It's gonna be a it's gonna be a red table talk right right exactly. And then and then there'snna be two guests,

Not at all.

She's gonna say she wished Will Smith like.

You about it?

Right?

Oh wait, you're you're painting a new world.

Society exactly, so like it's okay because that.

So is this one.

It's this one.

You're saying, you're comfortable with this if we get to lose Perry, no more media, yeah, no more boo and medea Halloween, which is funnier than you think.

So you know what, we lose Meghan Markle's best friend. That's fine, it's fine.

You're you're more than comfortable sacrificing Tyler Perry even if these two men press into each other.

But you know what, everyone gets depressed into everyone consentially.

Right, Yeah, it's beautiful, but it's.

But the whole family is family affairs.

Not No, that's I think a crime.

I'm just saying, y'all know, is like this.

It's not a group thing. It's just that it starts talking. Well, we we say because we wrote it.

Yeah, but no, no, no, if he was able to talk about well down the line and then noble, then I can say that down the line.

You're right, I'm not here to assims black women.

Are you're saying. You're saying that ultimately Martin gets turned out by the entire Smith family.

But it but again, it's consensual. Yeah, yeah, there's only only the legal.

Turnout. Yeah, Okay, I think I think that's a good answer.

I think you did it and I really thought about it.

Yeah, give it up for Taylor everybody.

Oh where am I on it? After we wrote that beautiful story. I don't even give a shit about the media part. I just wish that would happen for them.

I genuinely think that if Will Smith were able to come out as the queer icon he could be, he would be a happier, healthier person.

Well Smith or fucking Chris Rock would be a lot happier. Yeah, I don't think that would have ever happened.

No, I think if he truly could just be like bro, I'm into a lot of shit that I just like to get it.

Yeah, because I met him one time, and truly, really the only part of this personality that I walked away with was he's horny.

Well, he made that clear. It came up enough times.

I was like, Dad, this's like a horny but a few times. Yeah, I don't want to say the specifics because I don't want to get sued. But no, he like, please don't pe No, we gotta keep working. Yeah. I mean I've never at him, and he seems not warning. Yeah.

I think I think it would be so liberating for Will Smith to be able to just be his queer self that we all know him to be. And I also think this would be great retaliation against Jada.

Oh every time.

Yeah, like nigga fuck Martin Lawrence four seasons on Network, one hundred and thirty eight episodes.

Yeah, big Dog syndication yea, all eyes on WHU.

Yeah? No, I think this would be really beautiful and good for them.

Yeah.

I think it's I think it's kind of just a win. Yeah, let him fuck. Yeah, that's what we say.

It's crazy. When they were younger, I think Martin was maybe more handsome than Will.

No, I don't think so.

Will's eyes are really far apart and you can't unsee it. Guys, look, are we gonna get.

In another We can't do this. This is such a dangerous game, this revisionist history. But we all pretend like Will Smith wasn't the most fuckable man on the planet.

We all wanted to bone Will Smith. Eight people wanted to fuck Martin Lawrence. Don't be like that. He I don't like that you're playing Martin now. Martin Martin during his dad.

Incredible hair, incredible hair, so well dressed. He's the first time I ever sign a Pelly Pelly on the show.

He had the Pelly Pelly with Yeah, you don't even see that anymore. Martin was great. Don't be a sexy I'm not gonna hate. Don't do it with sexy Martin. But I just don't think. I think even the movie knew that Will Smith was the sex symbol and Martin was the funny one.

I think as time goes on, we're just gonna realize he.

Was just taller.

Damn.

Three people are clapping, but yeah, and they didn't seem that confident about it.

It's all I need to start.

That's how he's starting his presidential campaign. I think a lot more of us want to fuck Martin Lawrence than we're ready to talk about. And when I'm president, we're gonna talk about it. And then we have one more, if we have one more volunteer who's willing to participate in the game. I thought I saw a hand, and then it shot down immediately after. Oh there it is. Okay, finally that hand, right, I.

Mean, I think Duckett was holding it up.

But if you want to come, it's okay, as long as it's consensual and you're into it, come on, as long as it's like Martin and with thank you so much. What's your name, Brittany, Brittany, Yeah, fuck yeah, thank you for being here. Give it up for.

Okay, I'm shy, that's okay, Okay, play it cool, Brittany, all right, I'm cool, cool, Get off the fat.

Here's your question. White people never make another watermelon joke ever. It's done. The whole bit of black people loving watermelon. It's alcohol.

Those weird days at the office for some guy who thinks he knows you better than he does.

You can literally walk in the office eating a big old piece of watermelon and nobody.

Yeah, you can spit the whatever you want to do.

They'll be just like, that's Brittany. That's just how Brittany does.

Okay, but.

They find proof that black people have an extra muscle in our thigh that makes us jump higher, actual proof.

Like they have a real like, no, they're only good at basketball because of this, Like they have a real reason to say, and they point to the muscle and they go they study Lebron James and go thousand because of this.

Right here right. Okay, Wow, it's very difficult. But remember you get to spit watermelon seeds wherever you listen.

Okay, because I actually have a story about this.

I'm so happy you have a story.

Way, need I need to say it to get my answer. So my first two years of college, I went to Washington and Jefferson. I don't know, has anybody heard of that?

Okay?

Cool?

What, yeah, it's all easier.

Okay, it was real quiet.

College.

No, okay, but wait, but then I went to Howard after Okay, so this white girl asked me. She was like, isn't it true that you guys have an extra muscle in your leg? Like she asked me, and I was really offended. And I also have never heard that before. That was my first time ever hearing that. I'm like, well, wait the fuck like that?

But imagine if she said that to you and you had to be like, yes, that's like we do. Yeah, I know.

I think I would just let the watermelon jokes continue. I don't care that much.

Like it's whatever, It doesn't make you want to kill them.

I mean, I like water melon.

That's the whole conspiracy. Of course, you amazing everybody. It's a pretty good.

Yeah, it's really good.

I like it. It's so good.

I forgot it was a fruit. I thought it was some kind of extended candy universe.

Yeah, I think I'd rather that the extra extra Yeah.

Fair enough bank? Should I go? Yeah?

Go ahead?

I I one hundred agree with Brittany. This extra muscle ship would derail everything. Yeah, I think if we if if white people found out we had an extra muscle in our leg, they'd be pissed if we did the s A t's too fast.

Yeah, they would use it to further exclude us from all. He can't get a home loan right, like, yeah, it would be fucking it would be they'd find ways to, like they legislate against it. They'd lock us up.

They would start separating sports like yeah, it would be women's, men's and extra muscles, and it's like fuck man, yeah, like.

They already can't handle the comparisons, Like imagine if so as much as I get so irritated because that's like the one that they try to sneak in, Like I feel like the watermelon. It could be like a guy you liked it work or some that's the one that they'll sneak in. And you're like, man, I fucking if I didn't need this job at FedEx, I would cute.

Like it's just so it's so irritated, But no, I can't. I can't. I can't sacrifice. You were right, You were right? Yeah, I mean, how do you guys feel about it? Are you guys clap if you're pro how do I say you clap? If you're pro watermelon? You you want to keep the watermelon jokes for the for the removed, to make sure that nobody starts saying you have an extra muscle in your leg and clap off your pro muscle in the thigh. WHOA, Okay?

You like players in here? All right?

My man?

You seem pretty confident about it. What is it for you that you're like muscle in the thigh. Let's go, brother, we're too great at basketball, but we don't eat you.

Maybe we don't need an extra figh. We got Shaq Kobe like we're doing it.

It sounds like you're dreaming for yourself more than you are for the greater community. Okay, okay, okay, that's you're like, I will take an extra muscle. I don't care what y'all niggas have. Yeah, yeah, I can't.

I get that. I get that. Who doesn't want to jump higher? I mean you can, though. I that's mostly how I eat it.

I do. I do feel anxiety about watermelon and public.

I don't feel it in public. I feel it if you like you ever go to like like a they don't call it.

I don't care if y'all don't have White people are the only ones who do.

Yeah, what are you talking about?

Party? A party when you have food? That's what you're doing a party? You stupid people?

Uh?

Yeah, I mean yeah, it is.

It's a very It's also I get irritated because there's like a little bit of anxiety of it.

And then I get mad at myself when I'm like, no, fuck.

That, you can eat whatever you want. What do you even? You know what I mean?

And then I have this internal back and forth about it. That's my issue is I find myself in these sort of internal wars with like watermelon and chicken and all these different things that are associated with blackness that I truly fucking love but feel like I have to like be be shy with as a demonstration of my my knowledge of the It's like, fuck, man, it was like freeing.

That's what's so insidious about like microaggressions. That's like, seriously, that's the shit that will kill you, bro. It's like I haven't I've had a lot less white people ever come up to my face and call me a nigger, but I've got a lot of them saying, oh, watermelon home.

You know what I mean?

That's the ship that like, that's the ship that makes And then your reaction to that, whether it's because it is visceral, and your reaction to that often in your head you're like I want to kill this dude, I knock your head off, And then you feel crazy about eating a fruit. And those are the things that like do over time, really really wear you down.

Yeah, no, that's one hundred percent right. Uh that said this leg thing would be.

Fucking yeah, it would be disaster.

So keep your watermelon jokes, folks. Yeah, they're safe here. Our legs are the same as yours. All right.

Was that the last one?

I think that was the last one. We're gonna move on to our last conspiracy. Yeah, we have one more conspiracy we want to cover with you guys. This is a fun one. Yeah, this is a good way to go out. Yeah. I think this will be really fun. And and you know, we'll talk to you guys, we'll talk to some ship. We'll see how it goes. My mama told me Barack Obama was not the first black president.

Come on, come on, baby. Also, I love him smoking. I love it. I love it so much. He's got that Langston ford on. That's what I think you look like withs.

Not not the door I have. It's a little embarrassing. I don't know what color that ribbon is, but that might be that might be identical to the one that I had.

Fuck, So, I mean, I don't know too much about this one. Like laid out, if he was not the first black do you mean he was not and that there was another president or who's black or he was not in that he's actually a Pacific Islanders.

Oh no, no, no, let's be clear. I am not accusing Barack Obama of not being a black person. This conspiracy theory is actually born from a fair amount of historical evidence that says that there were up to six or seven other black or presidents with black lineage, right that like either a parent or a grandparent was of black of African descent. Okay, and and they just simply were white passing people who then opted to identify Okay.

So it's not like you just had a feeling about it. It's not like, man, though, did you ever see Miller Fillmore Frochick was?

Yeah, it, Taff was at the band. It was in the band at Alabama A and m yeah is just marching funny.

We bring up Tapped a lot.

Yeah, it was funny. He's the funniest one.

I think, yeah, I think, yeah, I think so.

But yeah, no, there there are a few of them on the list, and I should have brought the list up earlier. But but Abraham Lincoln is one that they accused. Was tall. They say Abraham Lincoln, I believe his his mother or his grandmother may have been a black woman. Uh. Andrew Jackson is on the list. If you know anything about he is literally maybe one of the most like yeah, uh. He apparently had Native American blood and some of the

To me, the big question with this is like what constitutes because like physically is one thing, but like are these people who were culturally not white?

And then it kind of came out and hit it for advancement. Well that's the hard part, right, is like what we're talking about is the difference between someone who who It's it's the plus y versus ferguson. It's the one dropped rule of the ship. Right. It's like, if you do not connect with any of this black culture, any of like the lineage, does that then still allow you the space to identify as a black person? Or are you what you say you are? You know what

Not finishing that. I mean, yeah, that's that's a hard one because it's like I don't don't want to slander any ray.

Be careful counselors, dread careful.

No, I mean, I definitely get the feeling that, like the idea of what the black president meant is so important that if there were people who denied it it kind of that's kind of inconsequential to me, Like it feels like the first person to be it and have stood on it is like that's what's important. Like if there was a guy who was just like he's like, don't tell anybody, my grandma could cook, you know what I mean? All Right, Like that's fine, but that doesn't help us out.

Yeah, and I know what I mean.

So I guess I guess what I feel is like if there was another one, it doesn't matter if he wasn't with that shit, you know.

Yeah, Yeah, I do think he's especially in the error we live in now, where we are pushing towards allowing people to fully choose their own identities as they see it and feel it, I think it'd be absurd to be like, nah, but Andrew Jackson, you gotta be a niggle, like that's that's crazy. If he's like, no, I'm a white devil, true here and true so white.

They put him on money, yeah, and.

He's like and I was mean, mean, I'm gonna prove to you, Like if he was black, he hated it.

He fun Do we want that?

I don't think so, certainly, not not the way that he was doing it, And so I wonder if it's even worth it to try to force it onto these people.

That's how I feel. I mean, I think that it's so beautiful. That's so what was so great about Obama is like, man, regardless of what you feel about policy and things like that, you remember how you felt when that happened, right Like that was like, well truly I get like, I like feel it. Just talking about this is one of the best days of my entire life. Like my mom called me and was like crying and was like we did it and we're immigrants. You know

One, you know what I mean. That's how I feel I'm like, I'm with that guy. I found the list. Uh and and it ranges from Thomas Jefferson apparently was was also accused of being mixed race. Abraham Lincoln, Calvin Coolidge accused makes it feel warm. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't love that either. I felt some whispers in the cloud. I did, he say, accused. I didn't like it either, y'all. I fucked up up to at all. But if I'm a dog, he's uh Warren Hall Arding, Dwight Eisenhower, and

They were putting that on posters.

Yeah, could you imagine the commercials.

Abe Lincoln likes cool In.

Again, Abraham Lincoln says he doesn't party, but he's lying.

We saw him do the electrics.

Yeah, they said that. Oh yeah. They basically were making fun of how like sort of distinctly African Nis. His features were that, like he was tall and yeah, I guess had like a wider nose. And that's part of what they say. Reason he wore the top hat all the time is because his hair was thicker than we think it is. And a lot of like the the the depictions of Abraham Lincoln and all of these presidents have been whitened for our for the benefit of the story that history wants to tell.

I mean, I do believe that, right, they're knowing to We're talking about Jesus. They do that, So, I mean, I that is possible. And to think about somebody like Lincoln, it does change my stance a little bit in that, Like if he did that shit under and he was undercover black the whole time, that's pretty amazing, you know. Yeah, And they say his mom.

Was Ethiopian, so he was like black black, all right, relaxed, he wasn't from like Georgia she was. She was from the Motherland.

Calmed down, all right, you getting all right?

He said, black black, Yeah.

In those cas didn't you. Yeah, I mean it's definitely interesting, right, but I think I still, ultimately I feel the way I feel. I think that like, unless you were like some kind of secret agent really working for us, if you didn't stand on it, I really don't care.

Yeah, I think that's fair. I do think. I mean, obviously we shouldn't discredit the way that history manipulates our understanding of truth, right that, Like Frederick Douglass is a great example of somebody who was biracial, right, he was mixed, but history he's one of your They they've redrawn him and sort of redepicted him as a very dark, sort of like ethnic looking man for the benefit of telling a certain type of story because him as this lighter,

And so.

Thanks big dog. That does happen, but it doesn't necessarily change what that person wants to see for themselves. And ultimately, Andrew Jackson or Calvin Coolidge or Dwight Eisenhower not wanting to be a part of the black community does not benefit the black community, you know.

What I mean.

We don't need Terry creuz anymore. I've been saying, he don't want to be here. Y'all can have him. We don't need to fight for these motherfuckers. I think I agree. I think that's I think that's great. Do we did I think we did a y'all.

Yeah, I thought we were gonna get a lot more jokes off than that one.

Yeah.

Then I started getting feeling like a little bit about Obama. I was like, I was saying, relaxed to you, but in my house.

Come on, he did too much.

Sure, come on, don't show him nothing before.

We leave this evening. We do want we do this with every show. We'd like to open up for any questions you guys might have any concerns, thoughts, opinions. You want to share stories, Brittany, you want to retell uh, We're open and interested in all of it. We just want to talk to you guys. If there's anything you have to say, we're happy to hear it. And if there's nothing. This is terribly embarrassing.

Yeah, this one hurts because we're really out on the limbit here.

Yeah, we made ourselves vulnerable and you don't give us ship. All right. Damn, that was the first time yeah, this has never happened before. We had to We always have to end early. Yeah, the question people questions you guys are like, please just let me go back to them bugs outside feels safe. Yeah.

My mom always says, left hand is it she's gonna lose money, the right hand gonna get money. I don't know if that's every time in my life my left hands lose some money.

And whether that's true or not, whenever.

My hands start itching, start thinking into some money or about to lose some money or something like that.

So have you ever heard that before? I think, if you're itchy, you're gonna lose some money.

And maybe relaxed on the masturbation of it.

Yeah, I think I have. We have heard that. We've addressed it, I think fairly recently, or maybe we haven't talked about it. Yeah, Punky talked about it. Although Punky, Punky Johnson, very funny comedian, talked about her titty being itchy and that's that's somebody's cheating on you.

Yeah.

So and then I'm seeing people tap each other like I told you, is that something you've said before? Okay, all right, oh you're titty itches now? She said, yeah, no, it's very itchy. Yeah, no, I've heard it, and it does there is some logic to it, right that, like, if you're feeling these sort of like physical reactions, it is. I think we don't give human beings enough credit for

Yeah, I think definitely you did great. Fuck? Yeah, thanks? One question?

Yeah, yes, please? All right, So this is kind of a hotel me question. I'm not a hotel brothers.

Come on, this is the safe.

Yeah, don't run from it. Yeah, literally, be who you are, king, Yeah, I'm gonaive West African? All right, So what I believe in West African? You believe in West African? No?

Oh, me too, mine too.

You're saying you're saying you don't believe that Israel is your proper home.

You don't feel like we're a lost tribe. Brother, I'm the only one that doesn't. Wow, Oh, you're the one Okay, you're that weird nigga, like you know, Jack, do.

You keep talking about he's from Africa, that nigga weird actually even gets weird because they even believe that some Africans are huge.

Yeah, are you? We're in a not gooing beef with the black Hebrew Israelites. You have to tell us if you're one. All right, I got scared, bro, they're gonna kill us.

But they're not. They're not. Okay, So so what is what? What question do you have not being a member of your family's tribe? Sop? Question is you know how they say that? We get it? Man, I'm not a cop, so we know white people used to. Yeah. No, they've chilled out back in the day, right, So what if we can't find like mummy whoa.

No, thank you for doing that here. I truly don't even know where to start with that. What if there's no black mommies because they snorted them all like at a party, they used whatever, but only the black ones the only ones that damn you're using quotations a lot.

Uh hey man, no, no, no, thank you for your question.

Question.

I'll say this. We did an episode where we talked about how many things are stolen from the continent that that have now become artifacts in other places that that will never be returned in all likelihood and certainly are if they are returned, they are not going to be returned under any of the circumstances that would benefit the people they were taken from, right, and included in some

You really killed it. I don't think I could have.

Beat that, all right? Okay, maybe have you ever been to a party. Have you ever been to a party where they they snorted a kyrie irvings worth of person or cocaine anything? Really? Yeah, okay, that's fair. I yeah, I I don't necessarily know that. I believe that they snorted up all the black mummies. I do believe that that. I do believe you when I when you say that they probably did grind up a tow or two and and just to see what it what that does?

Right?

Like we we for I think currently even today it's still illegal, but it still happened. They grind up rhino horn and fucking elephants parts and ship and tell you that that's how they'll make you a dick bigger, make you last longer in the bed. There's a lot of crazy ship that people do all over the world. So it's not beyond belief that you would snore a mummy. I just don't think you're getting a whole mummy down. Uh that that seems a little ubsurd quantity wise, Yeah,

Have an extra muscle, do you think they will let people who use steroids for other players.

That weren't people whoa I don't know if we have a technology for thigh in plants yet. I mean an mmmm, but isn't it only aesthetic?

Like you're talking about actually putting an extra muscle for function, right, not for form?

Yeah, I don't know that.

I'm not a doctor. Also, I'm like a sebi.

I'm like a sebi out of ten.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I I do think I struggle with I agree with David.

I think it's more aesthetic than it is functional. But I do think that there is a very high chance that if black people did have an extra muscle on their leg, there would be come an evening out through like de medicines and sort of like whatever juices and ship to make it so.

That, yeah, they try to catch up, especially bad.

Like don't do that to me. You can't. He made you asked this question. We didn't come up with this, We weren't in the hotel like all right, this is what we're gonna do, David. I I definitely think that. I also think they will come up. I don't think it'll be like biological changes, but I do think I could definitely see them doing some Iron Man suit type ship with.

Yeah, yeah, like some type of like yeah implanter.

Yeah, but like, yeah, what's the remember that that that Olympic runner who lost his legs and killed his wife? Yeah, story is yeah, yeah, I feel like they would do that to their legs, right. They put a little but a little boy boying on the bottom and yeah we got them by Tracy Tracy Trady, what's his name.

Tracy mcgre.

Tracy Morgan gave you. Yeah, this would be a better joke if I knew his name.

No, you're good, you're good.

No, it's too late, walk away from it. Push that ship out. Yeah No, I think they would definitely try to even it out. I don't I don't think that it would be through biological surgery. So that's that's a little bit too much to ask. All right, that's how y'all want to end it? Is there another one? Yeah?

Yeah, hell yeah, only if he's trying to get beat up.

I think me and you together could do it beat up Terry crew.

I got a bat at the house.

I got a bat too.

I think we could.

I think me and you in two bats.

Yeah, like we just we can't wait.

It's like when you no, no, no, we don't.

Like Hi, I'm terrible.

Yeah, no, we just gotta start swinging right away because we got to make it through that muscle.

Yeah, he's as hell. Yeah, that's a big motherfucker.

And he's got to inner rage that that he's not expressing that.

That's also true. I feel like if he was allowed, like if he felt like a lot like in a situation. But the point is, yeah, I'm not afraid of him. Yeah, come on, Yeah, I think you would do it because I don't think we've been very there's no incentive for him.

No, yeah, I don't think this would benefit Terry Crews in any way.

Like come and come and defend you calling yourself a coop.

I do think I will say that that Terry Crews, and I mean this for a lot of the people we make fun of. There is an open invitation for all of them. Yeah. We have never once said we would not have Terry Crews on the show, and I firmly believe that if Terry crew said I'm willing to come on the show, we would happily welcome him, and we would probably tank our careers in the process. Nothing

What he would do too. Yeah he does that nose thing.

Yeah No, I'm not the big monkey, motherfucker. Come on, I don't care.

What.

He ain't a big old monkey too. That's not a racial thing that nigga's a big old monkey, all right, agree to disagree.

I want that to be the last joke you made on this tour.

I think we did it. Everybody, Thank you so much for being here. Yeah, we're gonna be in the back. If you want to say hi, take pictures. Oh, we got four hats, but we've been selling hats on the tour. There are there are I believe four or five of them left. Uh So, if you want to hat, come holler at us, and we're happy to sell you the remaining ones that we have. But more importantly, if you just want to say hi, if you want to tell us your ship, if you just want to take a picture,

Bitch as racist hosting money, she's defending turkey stuffing.

I can't help me nothing.

H