Mountain Don't (with Hannibal Buress)

then she like halls cut, like nah, take that back. Nah, let's do it again, but the right way, shoot his way. Rock ships in your racist money mary stuff. You can't tell me. Yep, yep, yep, there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we finally worked to prove that Doc Rivers invented the sea through faith.

That's right, y'all have been calling Doc Rivers bald heady, but nope, that nigga went to the shop and said, give me the INVISI line. Baby, make that ship see through. You remember when Marcus Houston wore a see through outfit. That's what Doc Rivers is doing, but with a taper. I fucking love you. I am your host, lanks Ning Herman has always I'm here. I'm excited my guest today. God damn that we have a phenomenal guest for you today. He is hilarious. You know him from his special Miami Nights.

You know him from Broad City, you know him from the Eric Andre Show, fucking Spider Man movies. And most importantly, he has a pending project, an upcoming restaurant that you are gonna you're gonna love. It's gonna be phenomenal. It's called Future Poops You. You can't wait to hear more about it. I can't wait to hear more about it. Give it up from my guest, Mr Hannibal Burreez. What's happening man? What's up? Dog? That song thanks a dude

named Nick Chambers. Yeah, just whispering. I didn't catch what was going on at first, and then and and I started hearing it was whispering different conspiracy theories and that stuff. Yeah, it's mostly nonsense that me and Nick sat down and wrote. It's it's a nice time. Yeah, tell me more about these future Poops though, I gotta know more about this restaurant. A joke actually early on in my career about I don't know why girls like fancy restaurants because all of it.

His Future Poop is one of those just premises that's not really Uh. It probably wasn't great for stand up, but everything is not for stand up, is what I learned with time. You know, some things are ideas of concepts and not for the stage. Some of these are too brilliant to be wasted on just raindos in an audience, just in a bar. No, some of them deserve to have a team around him, a chef, a general manager,

a staff of building some music menu. And that's the way that some of these you need to call in the Michelan reviewers to have them come down and get there there. Yeah, seventeen years after the fact, and so that's where it was. So I had the idea just a bit of place called Future Poop where that's the fun, just dumb name, but then having the food actually be really good. And so I hit up a chef frame.

When I had that, I was like, hey, man, I got the restaurant in the future poop it's gonna be you don't use it, but the food is good, the branding is good. We got good music and you know, good jingles and all of that, and we donate money to Colon cancer research and all that, you know, make this poop joke experience really good. And and he and he was like, I'm with it, and so then he made a menu and so it's just gas on the fire.

So I been moving with that, Gonna try to get We're gonna try to get in at Pittsfork Festival if we get on the grounds for Pitchfork Festival. If not doing it, doing a pop up somewhere in Chicago, if we don't get the official you know, Pitchfork. I love this, but I love I love when a bit goes further than a bit was meant to go. And that's a it's a beautiful thing when it just it turns into

something more meaningful than we ever anticipated. I'm a big fan, yeah, man, because you can just really you just realize it's not it's just about the energy you put behind something and and putting the pieces together and truly believe it, because that's what it is when I when I get on the phone with folks that yo, he's he's not sucking round, he's I could hear I could hear it in his It's like when you listening to rapping, like yo, I believe this, MoMA, Like when I'm talking about you to

put people like yo, he's he's like, he's serious, serious, He's gonna make it happen. Uh, because it's a spot you heard of a heart attack grill in Vegas. No, this is a spot called the heart Attack Grill in downtown Vegas and they and they just, uh, it's based everybody else to where it's a medical thing. So people get free food if they weigh over three hundred pounds

of five. It's something crazy and people have had actual heart attacks in there, and they spake despect doctor character and he said, yeah, you know, I'm just trying to

show you. McDonald's won't tell you about this but that, and he's just like, yeah, you know, this food is messed up, but I'm just being real and he's he just fully's committed into this theme that's way more fucked up than what you're offering, You're you're just saying like, look, let's be honest about the cycle that this food is gonna go. They're murdering people and being like, hey, you know what you signed up for. Look at our look at our symbols, look at our name. They're doing like

burgers with eight patties. It's just real cartoonists, just crazy stuff. People have to wear medical gowns and it's just a weird zone. But they they commit it to their bit so much where you know, and locked in and people make the decision they have to data to go in there and have this ch past the past whatever. This is, this generation of just like acknowledging that we're dying and then also volunteering for more of it is I don't know, Overgo survived this one. Yeah, I mean it's not we

need some overeaten wraps, you know what I mean. There's a lot of there's lean wrapping that's peel wrap, but there's no Yeah, and I hate the whole burger and the arties just then, and this ship is just really just a part my breathing change and I don't know if it will go back. No, I'm not going to just make fat d and code on the wrap. Yeah, it's been a lot of cool fat wrappers. There are a lot of cool fat reppers and they're like yeah, yeah, and they don't focus enough one on how they got

that way. I think is the larger takeaway from this. We need didn't know how you made it that far a big pun. Don't just start it. I'm fat and handsome. Tell me how you got fat and handsome, and tell us how tired you are after your concerts. Also, like, really talk about what it is to put on an hour show and how that feels and how you wish it will feel different, the toll it's put on your oversized body. Please tell us more. I know it's tough,

because you know how. I know because I I even when I was I was a little out of shape and I would do a bit with just required me running across the stage. I don't know how Cat Williams does it. Yeah. I was like, God, damn, that wasn't even that much frunting. I think about that that bit where he rides the stool like a motorcycle all the time, and it's like, how how did you find yourself down there that easily? Yeah? Man, it's uh, it's cardio, man,

That's is real cardio. I've seen folks, you know when you see singers training and and on on the treadmill or something and singing the stuff to get that's where it is. You know. I love that Clipper Kanye perform and touched the sky and then he uh during the I just wanted to dance. I went to Jacob and now when I just I got an advanced I just wanted He's running across the stage full speed. He's like, that's tough to do. You know when people people like Amagy, Yeah, yeah,

he cares. He's just you know, yeah, yeah, he's invested in this Jay. Alright, we we can't banter anymore. We gotta launch into this ship because you can with a conspiracy theory that I would say it's has been one of our most highly requested ones. I'll be it knowing that no one's ever brought it up to me, but you're the first. And you said, my mama told me

mountain too low was your sperm count? Yeah, I've just I just see I've been hearing it and it just feels right man, you know, and it's kind of Mountain dew the mounta dew does seem like it would it would do something like that. It's just, uh, it's not great at all, and it is not most Solda isn't good for you anyway. But mountain dew, if you have to rank them, mountin dew feels like the one that

would you know, just put your your bloodline and danger. Yeah, it's there's something about it that that seems the most unnatural of all the soldas, you know what I mean, where it's like, all right, I know what what some of these things are at least attempting to tell me they are. But mountain Dew's like, hey, nigger, we made this up. This ain't got nothing to do with nothing. It ain't got nothing to do with mountains, or do mountains.

Mountain dew, if you're talking about that, that's just water. It should be just water, and you know we got all this other stuff in it. So that means that you know how water glows, and uh, it don't stop glowing even when it's inside. I will say I did when Mountain Dude cold Read came out, and maybe I think that was about two thousand thousand three that range I did fall victim to that marketing. Oh, that's how

they get that's how they get you. You, that's how they get you certain marketing because you realized the marketing isn't about getting you to go get something right away. It's just about that subtle thing where you know, this is interesting commercial and then when you look and you're in the liquor store and you're like, oh, I need a beer real quick, and oh, the most interesting man in the world. You get it. Yeah, They're like like he's like, oh, that's when you in that moment. Oh yeah.

Then they had a funny commercial. Yeah, I feel like and maybe you felt this to Mountain Dew, at least in my memory of it was marketed more towards like skater white boy, like some cool X game ship. But then co Red came around and that one was more marketed towards like black people. That was like the them attempting an effort at an urban market for for mountain dew, And similarly, I thought that it was like different than

the alternative. Yeah man it uh were they trying to so they was trying to go west, right, I guess right? Mm hmmm, yeah, Well when was it? When was that when a mountain do two thousand one, two thousand one, it dropped Mountain do co red. Yeah, I remember it. I was in college. They would have it at the at the cafeteria. Mountain cod. Yeah, I used the I love mountain dew and Mountain dew cored and I thought I similarly had heard for years that it lowered your

sperm count. But at the time I was like, I ain't doing nothing with these sperms. I'll drink all I want. What what could possibly go wrong with all of this? Yeah? I mean how much do you do you need? I guess the real thing is, you know, what is the result of having a lower sperm count and procreate? Because if it there's millions of them, then you can lose a hunt of thousand and I right, how much lower? Are we talking in the grande? Like? Does does a

low sperm count make the baby? Let's see, let's see about what happens when you have a lower spur count. You know, Yeah, I don't think that a low sperm count affects the baby that comes down. I don't think that, Like, if you have a low sperm counting, now your baby's got like a weird army that I just think it makes it less likely that you can't effectively make a baby.

Uh yeah. Low sperm count symptoms might include problems with sexual function, for example, low sex drive or difficulty maintain the interaction, pain, swelling or a lump in the tactical area, decreased facial or body hair, or other signs of a chromosome or hormone abnormality. Okay, man, even if you're not using them, you want them in there just to keep

you you're looking the way you're supposed to look. It sounds like, yeah, yes, just to keep you know, because if you got a patchy beard, you don't want people in that. What's going on show? It's a fresh hole in your beard right there, homie. On your sperm count. You've been drinking. I told you to stop drinking the hose Jack and mountain dew. Number one, Jack is disgusting,

but number two it's bad for you. Yeah, Mountain dew didn't make it into the mixer, the drink mixer of you know, Gentz rail made it in there, coated in there, Soda water made it in there. Theyga milk made it in and they were still like, what we're not doing Mountain dewd really pushed white Russians like milk and liquor, like yeah, sure, fourteen bucks, no Frowler, New York City. I remember because it was it was a phase of drinking where I just kind of ordered ship that I

heard other people say. Well, I just heard from some because my first I think definitely. First, a couple of times I drank and I was underage, I just ordered gin and juice because I heard the song like gin and juice, really, I know, And then then gin should be completely illegal anyway, the I think I got arrested the second time I drank it just from the natural effects of what j does put me, just putting up different energy into me. Yeah, it should be that should

be illegal. Is this doesn't jen to make you sit and it's just a it's a it's a mess. But it didn't make it into the which is to me a very telling sign of how dangerous this drink is that even bartenders were like, I wouldn't there mix that one? No, I can't mix that with your poison. I'll not another Come on, man na na man now, no, okay, let me ask you this. Where was it do you think the first time you heard that Mountain dew affected your sperm account. Where where do you feel like that that

rumor first hit you. I think it was one of those. It's just one of those you think maybe two thousand eight or nine, you know, just tearing about it and and just really feeling like, yo, this sounds about right. Yeah, you know you were just like, yeah, I'm all in. I think, yeah, I believe it. And at that point I had abandoned Cold Red, so I was willing to just jump on board and and really, you know, keep

pushing that. Yeah. That's the That is the funny thing about the way that conspiracy these work is that like if it's some ship that you've already given up, you're like, yep, yeah, that sounds good to me. I'm done. Yep, I'm done. Anyways, I knew something was up. You just put it, just put it on your intuition. I knew I felt that ship, huh right. But then somebody's like, hey, you know the chicken. The chickens got all these probiotics and weird things in

it that are bad for you. And you're like, I don't know. I think I think I'll stick with chicken. Yeah. It's like, no, that's just that that mumbo jump. All right, there is ill talking. Man, I ain't and what are you talking about? Man? Get don't gone with that bullshit. I ain't even trying to hear that. Man. Chicken been good to me my life in all forms, you know, I know, I'm I haven't had uh Popeye's in a while.

But there was a level of self loading each time where I kind of was conceived that I was gonna have bubble guts afterwards, like oh, yeah, this is what it's gonna do to me, and this is this is just part of it. I would accept that. Yeah, and that's that's not good. That's not good. You know, you're getting better mathis you take pepto bismol preemptively, like when you know, like when you do Molly. Now, okay, Molly makes me ship, so let me get ahead of it

a little bit. Oh here's the theory too. I'll never forget this. It was twenty sixteen All Star Weekend in Toronto and Chappelle had a show there and I go to the show. Backstage they had Popeyes and me and Danielle Rawlins and we were eating this pope eyes and you're like, yo, popeye'es it's fresh. It tasted like it was made with love, and which is never a statement anyone's ever made about prop Popeyes ever. We were damn that this is different they got Canada got different chick

regulations up here. We could tell it's just tasted fresh air. And we were like, yeah, it's not gonna give us diarrhea nothing. It just tasted better. So that's one just we obviously Canada treats their food and chickens better than we do that. But it was just did you get that? Did you not get diarrhea from that pop ut? Did not get diarrhea? It's the conversation I'll remember forever. I remember just we It was just me and Donelle, like, day,

I'm this chicken. It's fresh man. It's different, Like what have we been doing in back home? Three day old chicken is fresh? Yeah it was. It was fresh man. It was a difference. It's a different level just to you know, fast food restaurants and stuff and other countries sometimes just have a who was I was that in Amsterdam? Year's back and I went to Burger Kade and then after I got my food and they handed my food. The guys that enjoy your delicious meal. Just had this

real just professionalism. Yeah, enjoy your delicious meal. I'm like, God damn it, it's different over here. Yeah, it's just it's the classier, more delightful experience. Thus the food is yeah. Yeah, that living wage experience. Yeah, a person who doesn't have to go home to a disappointed wife because he can't

make make rent. Yeah, it's great. Well let me ask you this, with all of that, knowing or at least believing at the time that mountain dew could affect your sperm count, did that get you off of soda completely? Are you, like now a dude who like I ain't drinking none of that? Just in case, this is like larger than mountain dew. This is spreading across the entire soda you know, lexicon not all the way off. But

I don't. I don't seek it out. You know. It's one of those that I'll if it's around sometimes I'll have a sprite. But I'm not really buying sprite, you know. But if it's had somebody's spot, I spright. That's not the thing I do wanna. I do want to cut

out sugar, but it's tough. It's it's super tough. It's just I had I had a real sweet too, and it really it went up when I stopped drinking because I used to drink a lot of Jamison and genzrel and that's a lot of sugar, and so I remember, it's just after I thought when I stopped drinking, I would just lose a lot of weight, but I was replacing it with sugar, so I would just be I remember being in a Walgreens candy aisle and I've been so over a couple of weeks or something, and my

mouth just started watering being around candy, and I'm like, God, damn, really it should have really in my veins for real, man. Yeah, yeah, I can't. Uh. I similarly am like constantly trying to like cut back. I'll stop eating fucking cookies and brownies and sour straws and ship and literally, if I'm around it, I'm going to eat this ship. I can't even begin to to keep my hands off of it. Yeah, it's a it's a tough It's a tough one. And I once I replaced it with cocaine, kind of get it out.

You know. It's just like you can't just give up a vice. You have to find something else. You gotta find avice that that that kind of balances it out, and you can also spend time with that. So it's just you know, and that's the best lesson that I think you guys could walk away with it. If you're addicted to sugar, you gotta get on cocaine. It's gonna solve a lot of problems. Yeah, yeah, you're not gonna

you're gonna taste as much. You know why you're not gonna want You don't You don't eat as much anyways. So the sugar thing, yeah, who needs to talk about? Who needs a sugar crape? And when you got all these business ideas to talk about? Yeah yeah, hell few that now listen future poop and then the and we have a sitcom and guess where it hangs out all the time future it's called cross marketing. We get where the business. Baby, all right, we're gonna take a break.

We'll be back with more animal birds and more. My mama told me we e that this one. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I always forget how long that one is. And we're back.

We're back here with more Hannibal birds, more of my mama told me, we're still talking about the possibility that mountain dew destroys your sperm count, and uh, I guess leaves you less of a man than you started with a patchy beard and and less confidence, more more of a shell of a man at this point, who whose laugh was that? I know of it? I couldn't. I often I come up with a lot of weird drops. And then I also petitioned my audience to send me drops and that was sent to us by a person.

So I don't actually know okay, because I know them, I know the moment, but I just couldn't. Yeah, I couldn't play it. That was on. It feels like a very and I could be very wrong. It feels like a Steve Wilco see Jerry Springer type vibe of like somebody retaliating to an audience making fun of them. But I could be wrong, U wilcos what a what a success story? You know? My god, the life that he's lived, right, you know, off of just being security guard. But what

about like the bailor functions judy him? His problem is he doesn't punch enough people in the face and that really it doesn't make us remember him the way that we need to, you know what I mean. He had so many chances, though, like so many missed opportunities, so many it wasn't just like a season. He had so many shots. Suggest ain't no, And it's not like Judge Judy is switching up her moves. You're coming in hot every time. If you're gonna back your girl up and

punch your body in the face. Man, Yeah, he could saying wow stuff all the time, and he was just you know his move. All right, we gotta jump into this research. Now, let's start with what we do know. Medical professionals, based on everything that I read, do say that there is, it is and in fact a myth that mountain dew kills your sperms. So if you decide that you want to go back the mountain dew code read, apparently that is not exactly what is happening with mountain

dew right now. One of the things that they say about mountain dew, and this was what everybody theorized, was that there were two reasons why they were theorizing that mountain dew was killing your sperm. And number one was it has more caffeine than any other type of soda. It's like way more caffeine than the average soda. And then number two is this chemical called yellow number five.

Have you heard of yellow number five? Yeah, it's the main ingredient that everybody was worried is like, uh, fucking up your sperm. Okay, what's the I want to jump back to the caffeine part. How much more caffeine than

the other drinks does the Mountain do have? So I don't know that it's like, uh an insanely more amount, but I think that's why it became like the extreme drink was like they were pitching it as like, um, it was like a precursor for like uh five hour energies and your your monsters and all that other stuff where it just was telling you, look, we got a little bit more than than everybody else is putting in their their regular drinks. Okay, So, uh, I just pulled

I just pulled up some stats. Yep, Mountain dew hast five milli grounds caffeine per can diet coke point three dr pepper forty two pepsi thirty eight point nine Okay, so everybody else, Yeah, on the caffeine side of it again. Okay, and a cup of coffee has one fifty milligrams of caffeine.

I'm so glad you said that because they say that essentially, like for a cup of coffee and that level of caffeine, that would you say one one uh one fifty, So a they're saying that if you drink, let's say, a twelve ounce cup of coffee, they actually say that that improves your sperm motility, which is just the sperms ability

to like move around and ship. Right, But they say if you were to drink four of those cups, four twelve ounce cups, that would pretty much make your sperm sit still and not move at all, because that's an overdose of caffe for your sperm. So it could affect you if you do too much caffeine. But a little bit of caffeine actually makes your sperm perk up and ship. Okay.

The word motility, for some reason made me think of a futuristic startup that's like a tail that you take and then it's like these other beings and they go into you and and your sack and give your sperm motivational speeches. Hey, come on, man, it starts out out, you know, and then and there just talking and like you can do it? Is what are you doing? Okay? I was just and he shouted to find out the sperm wasn't just it was you know, they're just giving that.

They're giving us from the uh the everest treatment, and just like, come on, man, just sitting there. What's wrong with you? Man? You can create a light. Come on, you can bring a new human being and that human being gonna and you could do it. You could be you. You can change the world. Believe it is. So why are you sitting there with your tail all curled up looking stupid? I'm worried I'm gonna create a serial killer.

So I just just the possibilities of what a human being can be and just all of them, just things that can happen in the world, with all the variables. They just drive me crazy and I just don't want to get out there. It's just so many things that can happen. So I just feel better just being right. Just leave me be. There's actually no evidence of humans actually being worth the the investment that I could possibly put into an egg, so I don't want to be

a part of it. It's just don't. It's just a lottery, and it's just yes, some I've been some are amazing, but it's a lot of You might just have somebody just just regular and boring, and I a part of that. It's just, you know, why, why even the good people are sort of contributing to the destruction of the planet. I don't know, it just doesn't seem Yeah, it's just the wealth disparity. And I don't want to be on either side of it right now, you know, because it

just wouldn't feel good. Yeah, alright, So the sperm motility could be affected by all this these cups of coffee. So four cups would basically come out to six hundred uh milligrams of caffeine, which is a ship son and apparently it would require you mathematically to drink essentially eleven cans of mountain dew a day to have that same effect. So it's not like you're you're anywhere near in all likelihood the chances of actually affecting your sperm negatively unless

you are drinking an insane amount of mountain dew. Okay, so you know, the average person probably ain't doing that. Now. When I was a kid, I used to go to to this gas station by my house and drink like those. It wasn't a big gulp, but it was because it wasn't a real seven eleven. But it was like a big ass cup of just mountain dew and they would let you re fill for free. So I drink like two or three of those a day, and that was like thirty hours of each. So I was sucking myself

up pretty good. But I don't know if I was sucking my sperm up, if that makes sense. Yeah. Man, it's just a lot of some some soldas I would you. You'll notice there's a different harshness and some Now thinking back, I remember crushes had a sort of harsher hit when you when you go down that initially what you're getting

it for is that, yeah, that tastes. Mostly we should be just be spitting stuff out now that I think about it, we should just be like, like how we like wine taste is most of this stuff because we're just doing it for the initial flavor. We shouldn't have it go all the way through the process. What why that's not meant for your testing through the whole thing and out? What What have I mean? I've been this

what have I been doing aboutself? But yeah, I remember, they'll certain something like, oh that burnt like I felt like liquor a little bit, the way it hit M. That's got a nip. Yeah man, it's just you know, uh no, I think that's a hundred percent correct. A bunch of these things are not actually meant for your body. And they actually talked about some of the things that that beyond your sperm count, that mountain dew can negatively affect you with. And some of the things are fucking wild.

Is that if you overdrink mountain dew or any sodas, you can end up with insomnia, irritability, upset stomach, diarrhea, and a faster heartbeat, like you just walking around with a fucking nearly exploding heart for the rest of your

life because you wanted to do the do Yeah. See man, And that and drinks and fold and how it affects move makes me think about times in my life where I probably wasn't in the right space to make a high level decision and I might have been irritable because of drinking poison the past couple of days or sleepy or whatever, and made a high level decision based on that ship and like I should have drunk more water and I would have been you know, and Angry Berries too.

That's what I'm saying. I was. I was, I was hung over. No, I ain't doing no ever I did the first one. I'm not. I was so I was just insistent. I wasn't at my best. I'm sorry at me. I'm sorry. I had a big gop of mountain dew and I just my head just wasn't on straight. It just felt like the right thing to say that I actually had a lovely time on Angry Birds one and and in retrospect, i'd love that check as well. It's yes, you know, it was such an easy thirty minutes of work.

Thank you so much. Who am I to turn this down? Disclaimer? I was not offered Angry Birds too, and I don't have real anger about not being in it before up like hey, hey, hey, hey, you weren't right for it. You would you want to ruin the natural chemistry that they had, and too with your reads. I do love the idea of them being like, yeah, it just doesn't fit you, just don't. You don't look like one of the birds. You don't look like the turquoise bird to me.

I do wish though when we do have made his stuff and we do the press for it, just can you just just dress me up as the animal and we do you know what I'm saying, dude, like you ain't got nobody in these costumes on the let's have let's if put a dog next to me, at least like a full size dog next to me, and then we can kind of bancer back and forth. Because me, how do you expect me to get in character if I'm not at least wearing the dog costume or sitting next to a dog in this in this end, Yeah,

I can't do it. I can't just look at the poster next to the journalist and like lock in, you know, but give me a dog. I'm just like, yeah, you

know how we see you out here. We're out here doing it again to dog, you know, and it's just yeah, it's just the story, just everybody just working with the cast, you know, cast, it's like a family, you know when we're out there and just talking and yeah, and we had like a family, even though we did our sessions separately and nobody ever worked in the same room together. It's like a distant family. You know that cousin you don't really talk to that much when you get together.

It's good like that. Check it out. You know, we did our sessions and I never met him, but I did see his name signed on the same sheet of paper when we went into the rooms later from each other. So there's a bud there. Yeah, it's buying the energy he left in the room. When I got to the room, they said, oh, he was way more fun than you were, Like he was more Oh yeah, he shook everyone saying you sort of just lowered your head and went straight

to the microphone. But that's neither here. No, thank you for doing the movie. Okay, let's talk a little bit about yellow number five, because I do think that this is an important equation in this whole thing. It's the main ingredient that everybody points to in terms of lowering sperm count. And one of the things that that people point out is that yellow number five is not specific to Mountain dew. It's actually in a lot of other ship It's in candy, it's in potato chips, it's in cosmetics,

and it's even in some of our medications. They're putting yellow number five the dangerous one in meds and ship right. And one of the things that the FDA does is they come out and they specifically claim, in fact, not that yellow number five uh lowers your sperm count. For that in some articles, they even claim that yellow number

five does the opposite and improves your sperm count. That you actually get more sperm from eating yellow number five, which is very opposite of everything we've heard all these years. That's really that's really wild. But of course they would say that, you know, they're trying to sell more yellow number five. Is what I find interesting about yellow number five, right, Yeah, I can't even it's no, it's that the government made it.

They made it because I can't even find like when I searched who made yellow number five, there's no person. It's just like, this is what it is. This is what is. It's just a government And now I'm about to I need to find out about yellow number four because why the hell they even need to What the hell was wrong with yellow number four? Where you like, now another one? So they just kept making stuff. Yea, so this is a government company that's been made up stuff.

So then they and then they would just make the food companies have to buy it, so the food companies would be able to distribute, or they would have just had roadblocks for the trucks, so the trucks wouldn't be able to get to the stores. So the stores. Yeah, that's the fun part, right, is that we're talking about the f d A and the FDA, being a government organization, is also approving these things for our usage, but they're

not they're not coming out. And the FDA in two thousand seventeen, this is a great example of what I mean. In two thousand seventeen, it was proved that a third of the f d a's approved drugs had problems either and not working the way they're supposed to or making people feel like a different kind of sick after they took the motherfucker's So of course, the FDA, to your point, is gonna approve yellow number five because they made the

ship and they want to put it in ship. Yeah it's uh, it's dark, it's a dark road, man, yell. And then I'm looking at yellow number four. I want to know, why do y'all keep on making up you know what I'm saying. It's just it's just like, oh, we gotta sell We gotta sell this to that. That's because you know what, it is the easiest customer to get as a customer you already had. So they just keep on releasing yellows like Jordan's oh you got oh you like yellow out here is the new one. It's

an update. It's like and you just keep all night and it's not much different, but it's a new one. And you know, I get to sell it. And this is what it costs to do business with us. You gotta keep getting these new yellows. Yeah, we're not gonna be too mellow. You guys can't see it at home. But Annibal just leaned real far back from the microphone and in celebration, I guess of that that hot line he just dropped, and now he's changing this filter. It's

it's a fantastic move. It's a real mic drop of a moment that's said with Yellow number five. And I think all of this is important. That one of the things that they also point to. Despite approving Yellow number five for our usage, they do also say that there is a chance that over consumption of Yellow umber five can lead to things like eczema and asthma and hyperactivity so again it's the government pulling their bullshit right because

they're not saying like, oh, it'll shrink your dick. In fact, they're saying it's the opposite of shrink your dick. But they will say, hey, but there's a chance you're gonna be chubby and can't breathe and also overactive at the exact same time. So they're skipping one problem to let you get away with a different one. That's like the government, brother, that's just like the government is just always just trying just to sabotage us, but make it seem like they're

trying to help. Oh, we found this, but trust me, our friend had paid a lot of money to get this through. He's legit. And then years later mm hmm. Can't see mane that it's a tough one. Yeah, man, the the simulation, man is is real. I don't know, brother, it's just uh, I just wanna of times. I just want to leave this world to just go to a

farm and just make my own food. No yellows one through five and definitely not six through ten, you know just what, I just make my own the land, you know, and then just the future poop farm outposts and that's just what it is. No yellow, just green, natural green

that grows from the earth. Yeah. Okay, So the additional sort of wild thing that I think I discovered in all of this is that, And I wanted to really ask myself, Okay, if we're talking about sperm count, what are the things that potentially could lower your sperm count? Things that that you would associate with unhealthy living obviously is probably closer to things that are going to lower

your sperm count. And they say that smoking, tobacco, being overweight, consuming too much alcohol, and drug use, all of which, in my personal opinion, half of these things at least are caused and or related to mountain dewp Do you know what I mean? Like in that scenario, mountain dew is a guy. It's the real gateway drug as far as I'm concerned. Mountain too, it's yeah, it's leading man that's drinking. That's the that's the government right there, man

pushing pushing it while they're pushing the drinking. Huh. But they're not pushing the weed. They pushing the drinking because they got all the drinking spots. You know, right, hey, you could drink look football drinking. You don't see nobody ever slashed in a in a commercial though, No, nobody's wasted. Never, nobody's ever wasted. Nobody and nobody. I've never seen that many people happy drinking cores like. Also, nobody would ever

drink Coors Light without advertising. Nobody would ever naturally gravitate to a Coors Light. Oh, then we get something mediocre and flavor lists organically. That's what I desire on my own by myself. Let me go get it. That's not the choice. That's that's something institutionalized that you've you've landed on, but you didn't start your day being like, I gotta fucking I love Course Light. I gotta crave for course who was like Coorse Light. I feel like it will

just I'll have a good time. I feel like it represents friendship to me. That's why I connect those what No, whenever I feel alone, I reached for it for his light,

and I feel I feel a little more whole. Yeah, but no, that's how you know how trash Coorse Light is right, because a big part of that marketing was like we made a can that you can see how cold it is while it's in the Can's like it's really, it's like, you know, you can see that it's really cold, Like what that's not a Yeah, that's not how you I'll be honest with the cold wasn't the main thing that I was looking for a year. But if you say something as a company of you with your full chest,

then it's gonna get It's gonna get people. It's just it's just the level of force you go with it. When they did the Haynes campaign and then it's like, oh it's Haynes, but now ain't no tags on the shirt? Like it wasn't that deep, you know what I mean? Yeah, that wasn't a difference maker and me and joined this T shirt yeah for his white teeth that I say, oh no, okay, oh yeah, I don't have scissors. So this was just really I was beating my wife over

how annoying these shirt tags were. So luckily I was saw MJ with these taggless shirts or else Luckily luckily I saw a Nazi MJ wearing these tagless shirts. And now I feel, yeah, this is better, this is much better. Yeah, it's gonna change my life right now. You know, I feel much more connected to the brand now that I know it's taggless. It's tagless. Yeah, man, they're like, yo, let's let them know it's tagless, you know, And that works for some folks. He did, And I guess, all right,

I won't kill myself my shirts tackless perfect. All right, we're gonna take another break. We'll be back with more animal birds and more. My mama told me, and we um that, why are you good? Who says I'm game? Yeah, we're back here with more animal fur more. My mama told me. We're still talking about yellow number five and

stupid as taglest shirts. I don't know. We started getting off into all kinds of conspiracy theories about the way the government and advertising works and tries to trick you out of stuff, and boy was it a good time. That's why I like, I enjoyed trapped when I've been in Asia, when I've been in Thailand, Korea and Japan, because I don't know the language, so the advertising it doesn't hit my brain as much. They can't you It's yeah, it's it's you're not absorbing it the same way, even

if you don't want. You just kind of you see the image, but it's not you know, that's your folks. You don't know none of the people and you don't know the words, so it's just you're able to have less noise in the brain. It's nice. Yeah, there is. I went to Japan a few years ago and I felt something similar where it's like a bunch of pictures of stuff that I didn't already associate with being good, and so without the words, it doesn't look that good.

It's just like, I guess they got a different kind of thing over here. Yes, it's nice, man. And just even not knowing what people are saying when you at the coffee shop and kind of as long as they're not like looking towards you, just if you're able to be in your own zone, it's it's nice to just really like, Okay, this is good. I don't know what's none of y'all talking about. I got a little private booths over here with the English language. Yeah, all right,

let's jump into this game. It's a it's a fun game. It's it's a classic game on this podcast. It's a game called white lines. Ugly, you're disgusting, I'm gonna kill you. Give me two white lines. It's a fun game where I am going to introduce to you a conspiracy theory widely believed and widely is a heavy word here of conspiracy theory that white people funk around with that they

they possibly believe and uh spread amongst themselves. And what I would love for you to do, Hannibal, is tell me why you think white people are so committed to this conspiracy theory. What do you think they're holding onto in in this theory? Does that make sense? Yep? Hell yeah, Okay,

this is a fun one. It's a more recent one in fact that as of late, people have been claiming that Bill Gates is making fake snow that in Texas in particular, snow was falling and from that snow, they were making snowballs and then lighting the snowballs on fire, and they claimed that the snow was not melting and in fact, was was getting hotter because of the fire that they were lighting on these snowballs, and because they were basically claiming that this was metal in the snow

that was making the snow get hotter and not melt. And that was all because of Bill Gates controlling the weather. And my question for you, animal is why do you think white people believe in this fake snow from Bill Gates? Is that video of what they're talking about? They're absolutely his video. Do you want to see some video? I do. I do need to see it. Just hold on. I can pull up some video. That's not a problem. Actually yeah,

because that was sound. I mean, I think the real thing is that, do you really think billionaires can can do anything? You know? And so especially when just a plan and access to people and you know, and maybe they can fund stuff for a long time without really needing to turn a profit. And what's like, hey, figure this out, figure this out. You got ten years. I want to play the video for you without too our government and Bill Gates. Thank you Bill Gates for trying

to fucking trick us that this is real snow. You'll see it's not Milton and it's going to burn with snow. Don't burn snow fucking melts, no water, no dripping, no nothing. If I put this ship in the microwave, it's going to start sparking because there's metal mixed in it. So you see that no melting. And you know what I was before you showed me. I was on the fence. Maybe it's like something that's possible. But then once I heard and say thank you Bill Gates. I was like, oh,

it's not true. Tone. I just discussed it on tone, which is not how you should make decisions. But on this one, on this snow fire snow conspiracy theory, I'm gonna go with my gut and offer her thank you Bill Gates like that? Uh? I love. I love just the immediate lack of knowledge around melting snow, but a hundred percent knowledge that this is Bill Gates fault. Like Bill, I wouldn't. I might think Bill Gates was involved, but I wouldn't be like Bill Gates did the ship, you

know what I mean? Yeah, there's like eight people under him that I blame before it was directly him making the snow. Here's another layer to it though, right, You know how some they say sometimes wrappers orchestrate wrap feef right, m hm h. And they put it together for promo. What if Bill Gates got a weird sense of humor and he's just like, here's a thousand dollars telling him I'll be making my own snow and mad about it.

He's just doing boosty promos. Tell him my fakes, no for a thousand dollars, and just like yeah, all right, yeah, just saying yeah, she sounds perfect, Shirley. Let me hear you say, thank you, Bill Gates. But mad say it real mad to distract us from the real evil city's actually doing. He like, do some snow bullshit. Mm hmmm while I'm still in kangaroos. I do think to your point. I do think that's why a bunch of billionaires never come out and even disagree with this ship, Like they

never address it at all. And I think so much of it is like, oh, if that's what y'all think I'm doing, I'm chilling. I don't give a funk about that. The fakes. No, I'll sleep fine. I am murdering babies with bathwater that I flew in from a different country. Like I'm not. I ain't got nothing to do with the snowball. Yeah, you know, smoke screen, smoke screen. And then so yeah, that's where is that. I love it.

So let's get into that. That's the next research. It's seeing if billionaires are creating fake conspiracy theories to cover up what they actually doing. Oh I like that because there's a Okay, immediately after you say that, that makes me think about how like that article came out where Tyler Perry was was shooting entire television series in like twelve days, and it's like, is he doing that or

is something way more fucked up happening there? And he's real cool with y'all knowing that he shoots quickly on set, you know what I mean, it's like, oh, I'm overworking. The actor's fine. Sure, if that's what you want to go with, I'm cool. You might get the electric chair. You mess up a take on you mess up a line on one of them. I was I when I remember seeing that, I was like, damn he put he

did how many episodes and how many days? And I'm still sitting on this goddamn YouTube video and me playing Madden. Not been sitting on this for like eleven months, still tinkering, like one more thing. I can just sharpen this a little bit. You know. I enjoyed playing all Right, we did it, Hannibal. This was a pleasure. This was a delight. Could you tell me people at home where they can find you, what cool ship you got going on? Uh,

you can catch me. I'm not to start. I found out about this app called station headm and it's that you could do live streaming radio and it connects with Spotify and Apple Music, and so it's kind of fitting for what I wanted because I had clubhouse, but then it's only talking, and so it's like it's like you could do the talking and it's integrated with music, so you kind of play with you like do a radio show.

Somebody started doing Ship on their station, head Future Poop, comment, soon, music driving soon, check out my pages and I'm doing more music now, getting on the road, back on the road. You know, I'm doing my first indoors show in about fifteen sixteen months weekend and yeah in Honolulu. Oh, Ship, you're starting in Hawaii. That's fire. Yeah. Yeah, I moved out here for a little bit temporarily, so first gigs in Hawaii. So it's gonna be it's gonna be interested.

I haven't done like a real show in a in a minute, but I'm hype. Hell yeah. Well, well, following Hannibal, do all those things, and and look out for future proof and as always, you can follow me at lengths and Kerman and please do all the things you're supposed to do to a podcast, subscribe, review, I don't know, it don't matter, Okay, bye, because my crop chips in your bass A qualitators are racist, oststly money party stuff. I can't tell me