Momma Knows Best (with Wade Allain-Marcus)

What are you doing? My crown chips in your Mansquala bears are racists mostly money stuff. I can't tell me. Yep, yep, yep. There it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep deep into the world of black conspiracy theories and we finally worked to prove that the real downfall of our fight for civil freedoms came

when we started letting activists get nice haircuts. Think about it, no legendary freedom fighter had a decent faith to save their lives. Martin Luther King Tresh Paul robeson tresh Met Your Ever trash. Nelson Mandela had the exact same haircut as Esther Roland Good Times, and that's how he was able to sacrifice so much in the name of liberating his people. These are the facts, ladies and gentlemen. I'm just reporting at this point. I'm your host, Lenkston kerman Um,

I'm pleased to be here with you. I am please this punch. I've never said that phrase out loud before, but god damn it did it feel appropriate right now? And you know who else is pleased this punch? I have to imagine juice. He's pleased as a full juice is my guest today. He's he's so cool, so funny, so talented. You know him. You know him from all

kinds of ship. You know him from from Insecure, you know him from from Snowfall, you know him from writing on on Grownish, and most importantly, you know him from a film on Netflix called French Dirty. He's amazing. Please get up from my talented guests. Mr Wade Elaine market Man, It's so good to be here. What a what an intro and also just that that introduction song just really gets you in the mood. You know, it's got the vibe situation. But then we're talking about racist koalas and like,

you know, all that stuff feels just right. Yeah, you start accusing animals of being racist, and you're like, I'm ready, I'm in it. You know it though, you know dogs have that problem. Certain Oh, we've had a few episodes where we've had to unpack the racist tendencies of certain dogs and and the dog's owners frankly, but the dogs themselves as well. And you're not wrong. There there's a fair amount of evidence that dogs can be racist. Evidence,

actual evidence. I mean, yeah, well you see them, you see them grountle it us. It doesn't take much o their digging and sort of see the way they react, and you're like, I guess it's motherfucker's racist. There it is. I I'm excited you're here because you came with a conspiracy theory that I would say. It's why it's broad. We've talked about sort of the full breath of it, but it also has so much of sort of down homeleess that I think many of our listeners are going

to be able to relate to. It really feels like an at home kind of conspiracy theory, and it the best way we could phrase that. You and I talked ahead of time, but you said, my mama told me. Mama could make it better at home. Always. It's always been like that. It really has well. And it's interesting too because we're blending. Like, you know, my mom and everybody from my mom's side is from New Orleans. You know, when you go back to New Orleans, that's that that's

that earthy ship. That's that stuff where you're like, you know what I mean, you haven't got to go out and get it from white people or anybody really, because we grow this ship or it'll be in the cabinet. Yeah, you get it from the root. There's there's somewhere that you get the medicinal things you need from. Yeah. They got a little BlackBerry tree in the back and that can you know that's magic? Yeah? Yeah, And so you your mom is from New Orleans, she like from there

or is it just her people are from there? No, she born to raise New Orleans. She looked over she moved over here young like kind of part of that right after her came Betsy. You know, there's there's gotta be a hurricane and then the exodus, you know what I mean, Like a came and then an exodus is sort of the cyclical nature of what happens in New Orleans.

And so she was definitely part of, you know, this wave of Creoles from New Orleans to Los Angeles, because by the way, there's there's a lot of there's a lot of Creoles in l A Wait a minute, I did not know that. I I think I've always assumed that all the black people and and and Blackish people in l A Are just, uh, they just mixed with Mexican somehow. You know. That's the thing. That's the thing

with creoles, right, You might not know. They might just be they might just be lurking out in those streets. And I mean, you know, nowadays it'll be like Creole is black in America. But obviously there's a history of like where where were they? Where were you? You know, and just the complications of how that all was a

passing ship like that. Yeah, I mean, it is one of the more frustrating things I imagine that if I weren't American I would hate about America is that we do dissolve everything down to like it's most basic answer. It's like these people have like this rich history and culture and experience and then we go, yeah, but you're black dog and so crazy. But by the way, my

mom does that to me too, you know what I'm saying. Like, there's just times where I've been like, like, people ask what I am and I'll be like, I'm Creole and Romanian, you know, my father's like Jewish Romanian or whatever, and she'll just be like, you just sound like you're trying to not sound black by like getting specific with that. I'm like, that's absolutely not what I'm trying to do. And she'll be like, you know, you know what you are. You know, so you and I'm a nick like I'm

I'm gone. Just a back and forth situation to drill it in that very young situation of her being like, don't go around and just be confusing about who you are. You're black. Yeah, I I feel very fortunate. I also have a Jewish father, and in a didn't know that. I didn't yeah, h yeah, I I in a different way.

My dad sat me down earlier early and was like, hey man, you're black, Like like, let's not play this game where like you spend a bunch of time trying to convince the world that this is more complicated than

it is. Like even if you you should think about your history and sort of like all of like the things that come with that, but as far as the way the world is gonna see you and treat you, you are a black man and you need to be aware of that and not sort of like skirting that because of some you know, so fascinating and Pops had

that conversation with you. Yeah, And I feel very grateful that he was someone that had that conversation with me, because I feel like had it come from my mom, it would have felt like she was trying to sway me in a way, you know, in her direction, as whereas coming from my dad, it's like, oh no, this is just the way it is, and I need to be aware of that. That is a beautiful thing. That's

a beautiful thing. Yeah. I feel like my dad was definitely aware of it, but he he more was just like he would I feel like he was a little quieter about it and was like, I know she's gonna be crazy for him out there, but like, you know, I don't know how to talk to him about it. So then my mom would sup in and she'd be like you again, and don't let anybody or no whatever,

that's what your situation is. Yeah, I think it's so funny because I definitely can see, even as like a father to a white father to a black child, how complicated that probably must feel to be like yo, despite you being as me, what you got on the other side of that half sort of supersedes a lot of what my experience and and sort of culture is bringing

to the table in this way. Right, absolutely, And but it is interesting too, and and then I know we'll get to these conspiracy theories of black mama's but just because we're here and also Jewish, keep the rample going back Jewish father. Well, the Jewish father and the black mother is a specific one, you know, because I feel like, to be honest, a lot of the time it is like a black father and a and a white mother, you know, or or not a lot of the time.

But most of the time when I encounter mix people, that's the mix. I think that me a more common mix. And I would argue, and this is a controversial take that not a lot of people like I think it's the worst mix. I think that's the I think that's the one that makes you weird. I think you want

is a black mama. That's the one that saves you, you know what, crazy too because like I also do feel like the black mama, white white white daddy, we kind of come out looking better on the side of town, you know what I mean, Like that's the right type of swirl. So not not just not to hate on y'all, but I do have to say this is the right way. Yeah,

you fucked up anybody who. But also the interesting thing is just with Jewish in general, right, like there is a there is a sense of oppression that they probably went through, you know what I mean, Like being Jewish.

It's not like it's like some waspy ship that we have on the other side, there's some you know, we were all on the same sign together with dogs, you know what, not being led out of Yeah, and at some point the Jews and the dogs got taken off that sign and it was just niggas, but just niggas. But no, I do think in that way it at least allows for a little cross pollination in the ways that we talk about identity and culture in this country.

Right is having parents who at least can relate on some level with that experience, as opposed to, like you said, if it's if it's like some rich, waspy family and then a black sort of like New Orleans type vibe, you're not gonna have a bunch to to really connect on until they can't, until it's like, oh wait, we are in America, and this does all of a sudden get super binary, and it's just like now, all of a sudden, we don't understand each other at all. At

least that's what happened in my family. I got you well, okay, you hinted at it. Tell me a little bit more about the specifics that we sort of lived in with with this very sort of sexy general conspiracy theory. Well, the most yeah, and to get super specific, the most kind of visceral image I had is like of being

super young. This is me like five six years old or whatever, having a a mcbug and I'm just going to town in the toilet puking, right, and then it's like you're throwing up so much you can't really see

you know what I mean. It's just the stream and sounds, you know, like it's just a blur of sound and movement, and then all of a sudden, there's this image of this dark liquid in a small glass and I just hear my mother's voice being like, drink this, and and it just gets kind of put in front of me and I'm like what is and she's like, just drink it.

And there's there's an aroma to it. I don't really know what liquor smells like, you know, and then say grab it up, throw it back, and all of a sudden it's the most burn like, it's the burning ist, smokingest thing that I've encountered at that stage of my

five six year old life. And it's whiskey, and it's whiskey, you know, and you know, it pretty much gets puked up immediately, but probably twenty minutes later like I'm I'm not doing I'm not throwing up anymore, kind of settled, and and that's really like the sort of I guess the beginnings of being like she has all these different things that she can point to that are just really accessible and around the house, like I mean, whiskey just being right there, but they too where it's like this

will fix you in a way that other things, you know that robotestin or whatever might not or modern medicine can't do what Jim Beam has been doing for us for generations exactly. So your mom is very much a person who and I feel like this is this is probably on the cusp of homeopathic, let's say, is somebody who leans towards at least trying the things that are are local and within reach as opposed to taking you to a doctor or some sort of like pharmacy to

solve your problems. Absolutely, and by the way she was like she was also on like organic foods before organic foods was really you know, and like like growing up in l A, like before it was Whole Foods, it was this place called Mrs Guches. Whoa that's a problematic name, Mr Mr Yeah, Mrs Guches was the one who you know, she was. I mean, I don't know if there really wasn't Mrs Gouch, but there probably was Mrsuch but the Mrs Gooch got bought up by Whole Foods. But she

was the one who had all the organic foods. And she would, you know, she would be like, this is what you have to eat if you want to live forever. Ship it always had eat these carrots if you want to, you know, have better eyesight. Yeah, I would be like, okay, well then I'm gonna eat these carrots up because I'm squinting. Yeah, like to see better. I'll say, I'll follow your carrot dreams. I can do that. Well, let me ask you this, how much of this have you then carried into your

own life? Are you a person who who continues to sort of live with like these homeopathic tendencies? Are you? Like, Nah, I did it, the carrots didn't work. I still wear glasses. Fuck it, I'm I'm gonna go eat McDonald's. I do wear glasses. But it's it's in, it's in me, you know. Like I'm absolutely still following the homeopathic training. I mean I try not to be like, nah, fuck modern medicine, like I'm gonna just go it on my own out here.

But but no, but I do. I do absolutely believe that like there are the things in nature and the things and like things that we didn't think like because it started earlier, like with Grandma with like baking soda, clearing your throat, you know, or or like toothpaste. When I got a little bit odor, My Grandma would be like put toothpaste on your pimple. There there's nothing better, No, like pimple cream is gonna be better for you than

just a little dollarp of toothpaste. I will say that that to that point, I felt a type of and I don't know how you felt when these things sort of got presented to you, but I felt a type of relief when I found out that that was at least an option, because then it wasn't there. There was less of like this shame that I had to carry in, like, oh, I gotta solve this problem of how to get these

pimples off my face. It's like, all right, I got what's needed right at hand, and I just need to figure out how to apply it the way that's gonna make it so that I'm you know, not ugly anymore, absolutely exactly, and and just all the different stuff, like you know, just it's all it's it goes back to you.

You got everything you need, you know what I mean, Like you always have everything you need in the cabinet, in the garden or whatever, as long as you can, you know, as long as you know how to how to put those things together in the right way, and you know, where they go, like toothpaste might not only go on team that like that. You just gotta open up your mind to what different things you gotta do.

You can go everybody right now should just go look into their cabinet and see different ship and be like what else could this be used? Yeah, open open your crunchy third eye and you figure out how you can apply these things in a in a more functional way. And know that it probably came as like you know, from Africa on the on the Juju train, you know, like they were doing like juju and that then all of a sudden became like, okay, we can now we can now put this into a whole other situation. Yeah.

Well that's what makes it so fascinating, especially because you you're sort of talking about your New Orleans roots and and your your family's New Orleans roots. Here is that so many of these things I feel like they were just sort of made up by a lady, you know what I mean, where it's just like a lady was like,

give the baby some whiskey, see what happens. But it is to your point, much more rooted in like a real history, where like I'm sure whatever is in whiskey at some point was being used to settle stomachs and cure colds. And then at some point we didn't have that exact medicine or roots or whatever the funk it was, and so we found it in whiskey again and we're like, fun it, give the baby some some jamison and let's see what happens. Well, and you know, and that stuff

has been proven a lot of the times. And it's crazy because you don't you don't want to just only rely on this stuff. But you think about like even you know, we both we both got young babies like breast milk and ship. You know, for a while they were basically like, you're not getting everything you need from

breast milk. You need to take this formula. And that was a crazy thing to be pushing on women, to be like, no, this form love is going to be better for your child because of whatever the hell they said. Where it's like mom's got everything up in them, up in them, up in them titties. You just let it flow, let it flow into the baby's mouth and they will

be taken care of. So it's especially when you think about where in the middle of middle I guess it is a tough word at this point, but we are still facing down a pandemic, a global pandemic, whether whether

we want to deal with it or not. And and one of the things that we discovered was that, you know, breastfeeding is an option for being able to to protect our daughter, protect children in general from the potential you know, risks of COVID that like, because my wife gets vaccinated, breast milk does allow for some transference of like whatever antibodies the baby might need to be able to be a little more safe in the face of you know,

whatever this virus is. Absolutely but and that's what's crazy though, because then on the flip side is like people, you know, people will take like our own immunity or whatever to this other degree. Like all the things that we're talking about can also be used in a way that's like we don't even need the vaccination, Like what's the point of having that stuff? And that's that's when all this stuff gets tricky and sort of like what is the conspiracy?

Is the conspiracy that like we should be listening to like our mothers doing, you know, grabbing stuff from the backyard and you repurposing other things in the cabinet for our own benefit that we already have, or is the conspiracy that like none of that ship works and we need to rely on you know, vaccines, what it just gets. It's all like you know, it goes to one extreme

or the other when you're trying. I think what I think to your point the dangerous that we're in a space where people feel like they exclusively have to pick

a side at all times. They have to go like, yo, I'm either completely a homeopathic person who who I don't need medicine because push ups will cure my cancer, or I am a person who is on the other side of it, where it's like I refuse to to eat a vegetable, but pray to God you give me every shot in and sort of like injection that science advocates for.

And it's probably that we should all be meeting somewhere in the middle where it's like, no, try all the things that are in your cabinet, but if them ships ain't working, go see somebody, bro. Yeah, go get it checked out. YEA. What I mean, like, you definitely can't just put like calcum powder on your balls if your balls are like swollen beyond belief. You know, yeah, that's not gonna do that for you. I've never had my balls get swollen beyond belief, but I just know it.

It sounds like a personal story that you're trying to make into a very general one. And a friend told me recently that their balls really swelled up. No, it's true though, it absolutely is true, and it's you know, it's And that's the thing with conspiracy theories in general. Right, I'm sure you've had this conversation a lot of the time, which is like, yeah, of course a piece of this ship is true, you know, like there's always gonna be that little particle of it that's like, yeah, I'm not

debating that part. It's the whole thing around it that now has gotten blown up to this crazy degree that makes me be like, how did it go from this to that? Yeah? I talked about this before on the podcast, and in a weird way, it has now circled back where to me, the most dangerous part of when the pandemic really was at it's it's like height, was when we were still arguing about where the virus came from.

Like it was that early period where it was truly us just blaming Chinese people for eating bats and claiming that you know, they had spilled a violin Wuhan and that had somehow like exploded across the world. And I don't know what caused the pandemic. There's probably a fair amount of evidence that it was naturally born, and then there's other evidence that maybe something science related happened that was a mistake. I don't give a funk, though, And I think to a certain extent, we all have to

get to a point in a nice way. We did at at a period shift into a point where we said, fuck it, let's just get rid of this motherfucker, and then we got bored, and now we're back at being like but them goddamn Chinese though, and it's like, fuck, that's not this isn't helping y'all. I know now, Yeah,

we always got a circle back. It's like now I'm just in a place where like if things if there's a lull, like everybody wants things to be back to quote unquote and normal, but also it doesn't seem like we do because like if things start to get cool, it's like, well, let's let's go rust with something else up and figure out how we can just continue to be traumatized by existing every day. Yeah, I I think in that way it truly is like, uh, we're we're bored,

do you know what I mean? Like that we we need a reason to be angry or to be excited or whatever. You know. The word is that sort of like drives you forward. Some people are rage, some people are joy whatever, but you need that thing. And for a lot of people being anti, the sort of like status quo or sort of the collective reasoning that we've all landed on is more than enough to keep existing,

even if it means keeping us fucking stuck in this bullshit. Absolutely. Yeah, Well before we we we go to break, let me ask you this. You say you've embraced some of the homeopathic things that your mother and and family have taught you. Have you seen any of this ever backfire? Has there ever been like damn, I had too much of the thing and now my arm is weird or some ship, you know what I mean? It didn't work? Well, I mean, I don't know if assilla coxinum ever works, you know

what I mean? I mean, because that's like the ultimate homeopathic. Like if you're feeling like you have a cold, just put some put some sugar pellets under your tongue, you know what I mean. But I will continue to just do those all the time, and they're absolutely have been times where like I'll feel a little tickle in my throat.

I'll do like three jars, three little vials, you know, plastic vials of that Asila cooxinum, and then I'm just hyper, you know, hyper, and I'm I'm not feeling better, I'm just feeling more. Are intense. Yeah, your chest still still sore, but you know you got the energy for it. Now, You're you're exactly You're built up for twenty three minutes. I'm gonna be okay, and then I'll crash. I love that. All right, We're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more way to Lane Marcus and more, my mama

told me. And we are bet mom ever feel you know, no, no, no, yeah, We're back here with more way to Lane Marcus more. My mama told me. Were still talking about those homeopathic remedies. That things are mother's claim. They can do better at home. We don't need doctors, we don't need medicine. It's it reminds me of that Eddie Murphy Joe, we don't need McDonald You don't. You don't need McDonald's. We I can make burgers like McDonald's at home. You know, you remember that. No,

I don't. But I love that. And it's true. I hated when my mom did ship like that, make this big as burger that I don't want. Just give me some flat poison from from the place that I like with the toys, That's true. Burger king was my joint. But I definitely like I would take a whopper any day, any day. First of all, I respect that choice. I think that's a that's a fair decision. Let me ask you, were you making this decision even as a child, even

as a kid, you are like, I prefer flame broiled, definitely, definitely. Maybe, Yeah. I think it was just it was just the the flame broiled. Maybe it's because I was raised on organic food, you know what I mean. So the flame broil just felt closer to something more real than two patties with another piece of bread in the middle. It was like that wasn't gonna get made at home. You know, I'll say this, it sounds like you had a very advanced palette for a young a young person. I myself. I'll

eat white castle till the day I die. I don't, I can't taste anything. I'm a miserable funk who's I ain't never had nothing organic, So who knows get into it, because I definitely was eating like I don't think there's anything I won't eat, and I don't think there's ever been a time when I wouldn't eat anything like I basically, my my pallet has been open since day one. I don't know if my mom is responsible for that or if that's just how I was formed, but I will

definitely leaves with anything. It's not even about trying anything once is I'll eat a whole meal of whatever because I just love all kinds of food like that. I'm I'm truly the same way. I just it has worked. I think in a way that is slightly askew from what you're taught king about in that I will do

it with garbage, you know what I mean? Like you're I think you're speaking in a way that makes it feel like, oh, you'll try any food, it doesn't matter because food can be culture and beautiful, and I'm like, no man flip over a lid like a heath cliff and put a fishbone on it, and I'll eat the motherfucker. I don't care about myself or my life, you know, Yeah, no,

I get that. I mean I've definitely eaten like, uh, this thing called grass cutter, which is what they which is what they have in Ghana on the streets, Like this is just some like this is not like delicious ganame food. This is just like in Ghana they have this thing called grass cutter, and it's basically like a

rat that's like this big. They sell it like a stick, like a little grass cut on the stick, like a little chicken stick kind of thing, you know, like one of those like when you get a tie those thie chicken sticks, except you see a little claw kind of at the end of it speared spirits, so you're just kind of gnawing on a little arm. God damn, that's a different kind of garbage. The worst thing I think I ever ate, and I had a few pretty wild things.

I went to China with my students years ago. I was there chaperon going to China, and we ate like their street food, which was like fried scorpion I had. I had fried starfish that was fucking awful. That's that's like it tastes like toe nails, like layered on top of each other, toenails, and like intelligence. Right, And that aren't they smart? Don't they know things? I think so? I mean, I think they're not like super I think octopus are the real Yeah, those are the brilliant animals

of the sea. But starfish aren't as dumb as we want them to be. And boy was I trying to bite into that smart animal and it was it's u I hated it. Yeah, that doesn't sound like a great and but you know, you gotta try things. You gotta be opening up your your palette in your mind, you know, like that record says, put it in your mouth. Huh.

That's okay. Let's let's jump into some of this research because we can't obviously cover all of the the various home remedies that that we've talked about throughout all of this, but I did want to pick a few of them to dig into. And one of the things that got me really excited was hot toddies apparently are very legitimate. I was surprised to find out that that this whiskey treatment that your mother was offering, and many mothers have

offered for years and years. Is not as absurd as it seems like it would be, right, Okay, And so is that more for like a little like a cough or cold, Because hot toddies, I feel like I associate more with like you're kind of stuffed up or something like that, not necessarily when you're like puking your brains out. So I'll say all of the things that whiskey potentially, and whiskey and sort of the combination of all the things that you can find in a hot toddy might do.

But as it's basically being explained, moderate alcohol consumption has been shown to dilate mucus membranes much in the same way that menthol does. So if you have like a common cold, if you're congested in some kind of way, I'll smoke a motherfucking pack of cools. Hell, yeah, dude, take a shot, smoke some cools. You're gonna feel fine. Sorry. Yeah, that's so opens the membranes. It opens those mucus membranes. And then whiskey specifically also contains this antioxidant allergic acid.

Allergic acid. I'm not good at reading words, my man, but it's studies suggests this may help treat viral and bacterial infection. So whiskey specifically has sort of like a you know a little bit more of a healing property to it than alcohols. It's so wild to think about, you know, because you know, Mom didn't know that she did specifics of that, you know what I mean, Like she's flying blind with it. This is just from generations of drink this like she did to me, you know.

But there there's a realness there, and that's a beautiful thing. Yeah, she was just getting a five year old fucked up, but in actuality, the science was saying he's not just sucked up, he's less congested than he was previously. So the whiskey in conjunction with hot water which relieves Nate's little congestion, and honey which consumes sore throats and suppressed coughts, and then the vitamin C that you would find in lemon juice helps to reduce flim That's what makes a

hot toddy potentially this this magical healing drink. Now, the downfall, and this is sort of like the thing that they warn against with hot toddies is that while it does have the potential to be this fixer. There are a lot of other potential issues with the over consumption of alcohol, right that. Dehydration, constipation, nausea, and of course the inexplicable changes in your personality are all things that might warn

you against it. Certainly overuse of alcohol as a healing tool if you will, absolutely, But you know that's true with everything, right I feel like there's nothing that is good for you in one dose that is better for you in more doses. Yeah, you know what I mean. I mean everything that gets abused in that in that way is going to there's a tipping point. You know, you've got to use the right amount. That's totally fair.

I it reminds me so much of the fact that, uh, and this was a revelation for me when I was like in high school or whatever, that you can die from drinking too much water. That you can fucking drown yourself if you just in water supposed to be like are it's the most of our makeup. It fixes everything. But now you can't drink too much of that ship

because you'll do we think, is that actually true? It's you can totally die from drinking too much water because you'll just thin out your blood too much, I think it you truly will drown your body like it your organs, I guess will somehow be Yeah, by by the water. That said, it ain't what we potentially are drinking, you know what I mean. It's not like, oh, you had your eight glasses and now you're at risk of drowning.

You truly would have to have like five gallons of water a day, and you have to be tortured on some water boarding kind of ship exactly it. You really would have to be going crazy with this ship. But it also reminded me of like the that old phrase, right, we know that phrase an apple a day keeps the doctor away, That that sort of is at the root of this homeopathic logic. But then it also reminded me that that the seeds of apples are carson. Yeah, that it.

It truly is a poison if you are to eat enough of them, and enough of them like fine finely chopped and sort of like ground up. And it would take somewhere between I think a hundred and fifty to several thousand apple seeds to do it. But you really could be giving yourself cyanide poison by by eating them. Yeah, that's so wid. I mean, all of it does. It has the roots to kill us and to save us basically within anything, right, I mean, I just like, I'm

just like looking around my room. I just see I see a pencil like Nelson Mandela, you know what I'm saying. But also like that you can just I can save myself in the eye or something, you know what I mean. I love you're you're playing the Diever games. Uh fay spy a mirror, I can tell me that I have a booker on my nose. But I also could have the picture of Dorian Greg where I just look at myself and then all of a sudden, you know, you don't realize that you're dead. You'd I'm not just a

good looking, light skinned motherfucker. I'm I'm oh dead motherfucker. Oh motherfucker. So this also got me thinking about this question because Okay, whiskey works, that's exciting. It got me questioning the the toothpaste of it all, right, and and skin care and whether or not toothpaste actually does work. And as it turns out, unlike the whiskey of it all, toothpaste does not seem to be a great medicinal option

for solving your acne. I'm sorry, man, you know what's crazy about that, because like the tooth aste is from Grandma and the whiskey is from mom, and so now I'm just feeling like, you know, I gotta well, now I'm not gonna tell Grandma. I'm just gonna let Grandma keep thinking that the toothpaste is. Okay, that's sweet of you. You gotta take that away from her. It's gonna be like, next time she sees one on my face and be like, thanks, Grandma.

So we do that. So it's so interesting that you said that your grandmother was the one that that offered this up to you, because part of the reason that toothpaste became a potential home remedy for acne was because older toothpaste, toothpaste you know before a certain generation, actually contained this stuff called tri clossen, and tri clossen specifically had stuff in it that could kill bacteria in a pimple.

So there was a version of toothpaste that did in fact have the potential to like make your pimple's less pimplee that said, we took triclossen out of toothpaste because it had other side effects. It apparently, Yeah, it apparently did weird fucked up shipped to your thyroid hormones. So it wasn't great to be putting on your your face or in your mouth, you know what I mean? That makes sense? And what about did we did we look

at lavender? I didn't look at lavender. I found myself going further and further down a lot of these other options. I'll keep lavender as a burn for myself, right, Yeah, lavender, I think you're gonna have to do some independent study on that. Uh, sign up with a local university and make sure that you're you're making that happen. I did look up something that you mentioned earlier, which was baby powder and talc, specifically in the question of whether or

not talc. Because you are a father, you know this very well that at a certain point they stopped telling us to put baby powder on our babies, which seems counterintuitive, Like, you think the ship has their fucking name on it, you should be putting this on the baby. And they're like, don't you put that on your fucking baby. That's gonna kill your baby. And I wanted to really understand why, and for years, I don't know if you had heard this, but I had heard that talc was cancer causing. I

heard that too, Yeah, is it not? So, it's it's hard to know that. If you go on Johnson and Johnson's website, they really want you to know that no one has sufficient evidence to prove that talc can give you cancer, Whereas if you go on other websites, they are very adamant that talc and baby powder will give

you cancer if inhaled or put on your skin. That said, one of the things that makes baby powder bad that isn't as much up for debate is that the American Academy of Pediatrics warned against talc since nineteen sixty nine, not necessarily because of the cancer question, but because baby powder drives out mucus member rains, which can then lead to respiratory diseases such as pneumonia, asthma, pulmonary talcosis, lung fibrosis,

and respiratory failure. Wolf And so then once you put too much baby powder, then you gotta give a little bit of whiskey to open up, and it just becomes a cyclical thing again, you know, it always comes back, Yeah, yeah, yeah, And that's what the whiskey is for I imagine this, you gotta mix this ship technico to take the bed. They were giving us the towl so that they can

give us the whiskey. Put it all together. It reminded me, though, in a in an important way, I think of just how often the things that we are being presented with have potential danger in them, right that like baby powder for years was something that you were told to put on your baby. You were promised was gonna keep your baby safe and dry and all the things. And then at some point they go, oh, fun, my bad, Uh,

don't do that no more. And then a company that still benefits from making the ship goes, no, you can still do it. Good, No, no, keep keep doing the ship. And so it's all complicated and conflated, which then leads us to what we were talking about earlier, of people making these hard fastened decisions of I will never funk with any of this ship because of the possible risk that I'm being lied to on the back end. No,

it's so wow, because you have to. You can't just go through life being like I'm suspicious of everything that is like presented to me, and yet in the same breath you kind of have to question everything. Yes, so you have to do both of those things at the same time, which of course is going to breed conspiracy theories because you're like living in the in between of like, alright, some people are gonna tell me truths. There are some things that are gonna be good for me. But at

the same time, where is this source coming from? I have to question this just to make sure that it's right, quote unquote do my own research. But all the people who are saying like I'm gonna do my own research on that right now, you know, these are people who like aren't getting vaccinated or something, you know what I mean. So it's just it is such a strange thing of having to live between both of those worlds of like trust things that people say to you, sure, question do

your own research, but question everything. And I think even further, like, thank God, I I feel very grateful that I do my own research, mostly for the sake of of stupidity, right, that I do it so that I could talk ship with with people I respect and my friends. It has very little to do with me being like super passionate about any of these things. I'm just being a silly billy.

But then there are people who are doing the same level of shitty research that I'm doing and picking that research as like the way that they are going to define themselves for the rest of their lives. And that's fucking scary. No, that doesn't make any sense. Yeah, but and that maybe is to your point of like we should all just be silly billies. Yes, you know what I mean, because like if we're too serious about any of it, like we're just gonna we're gonna freeze up

and shrivel up. Like I don't know that that that lives in the same space of like all of this is really important, right, Like the work we do in terms of like telling stories, making film and TV, doing comedy or whatever like that is important in a lot of ways because it changes the culture. It changes how we see ourselves and how other people see us. And also it's a high level version of pretend like we're just you know, we're just out here floating around. Yeah,

and sillybillies. Yeah. I think I think we we would benefit as a as a society of embracing how many of us are just silly people, whether that is our career path or not. That like truth be told, whether I had chosen comedy as my career. I was always gonna be a silly motherfucker, and I would do better to embrace that than to be like, I'm a professional now, so I'm a professional serious man. It's like, no, motherfucker, you know what you do at night, just be a

silly billy. Just you can be a silly billy at the factory too. Yeah, I mean do the job right, ye, silly billy, don't lose your finger over it. But like they have fun billy. Yeah, all right, we're gonna take one more break. We'll be back with more way to Lane Marcus and more. My mama told me we are that. No, no, no, yeah, we're back here with more way to Lane Marcus more.

My mama told me. We're still talking about the homeopathic remedies that our mothers offered to us, and whether or not we should be dealing in that ship or or I guess, embracing it fully, become the grass fed person that you should have always been, or turned to modern medicine and never eat grass again. Who knows, well, it's probably somewhere in the middle. I feel like that's where we've that's where us mixed dudes have come to you

know what I mean, as Jewish fathered, black mothered men have. Yeah, it's somewhere in the middle of those two. Yeah, we really picked the cowards way out and said right in the middle. Does somebody listen to this, like, bitch, choose aside? The war is coming now. No, I'm gonna stay somewhere in the middle here, You're doing the right thing. Okay, let's let's jump into this game. I have a very fun game for us. It's it's a classic game on this show are most classic game. It's a game called

white Lies. Ugly. You're disgusting. I'm gonna kill you. Give me two white lies. This is a fun game where or wait, I am going to introduce to you a conspiracy theory that that is sort of circulating in the white community, a conspiracy theory I certainly had not heard of, but one that white people seem to be uh supporting in some kind of way. And I would love for you to just unpack why you think this conspiracy theory is so important to white people. What do you think

these sneaky motherfucker's are up to. Please, let's see. This is an exciting one. It was submitted to us via one of our our listeners. It is one I had never heard before, but I'm excited to share it with you now. They're apparently on Breddit. Is a conspiracy theory that Anne Hathaway's husband bears a strong resemblance to the

poet William Shakespeare. That the wife of WILLIAMS. Shakespeare, who died in six three, was called Anne Hathaway, and Shakespeare one day wrote life is too short to love you alone. In one I promised to look for you in the next life. And so I think they are theorizing that Shakespeare has returned to get his Ann Hathaway in a new life. And these motherfucker's I'm gonna share my screen with you. These motherfuckers don't not look alike, you know,

they kind of there's stuff resemblance right here. Oh my god, that's crazy. There there there's a little bit of a resemblance between this painting of a man who lived four hundred, five hundred years ago and Ann Hathaway's husband. Oh that is um, that's pretty any I mean Shakespeare. The paintings of Shakespeare are kind of like the images of Jesus right where we just don't quite know, but I do, I do, uh, I do see it. Yeah, I see

why that would be together. I mean, and so why do I think that white people tell themselves this lie? Why do you think and let's let's focus it a little bit. Why do you think it's so important to white people that this might potentially be that this William Shakespeare has time traveled and or reincarnated himself to once again be with modern and Hathaway, Well, I would probably go to the place that you know, and Hathaway is

a polarizing figure, you know. I think she's a polarizing figure both in the white community and maybe just in general. And Shakespeare too, is someone who you're like, was it Francis Bacon, was it Christopher Marlowe? You know? Was it Queen and Berleynn? I don't know. I just threw that one, and you know, I had to be. There's there's probably a woman behind Shakespeare too, I know, like this mother reading, I don't even know that. No, no, no, I don't.

I think Ane Bolen is just the one who cuts some heads off or something like she was Bulen was

definitely doing some crazy ship. But I am going to venture to say that because of Anne's polarizing profile, that Anne Hathaway followers the ones who really loved her, because I do think the people that love Anne are our writer DIYers, that they kind of created this thing to give an an anchor, being like, there's this nebulous white man out there who who in our world is the father of so much of modern language in a lot of ways, was to lend some real credence to somebody

who has kind of a shaky reputation out in the world. WHOA I like that as an answer, because what you're suggesting is that if I'm an Ann Hathaway supporter, if I'm a Hathaway head, this is a Hathaway in the Hathaway in. This is a way to add gravity to the the person who I love and and want to sort of like be in in support of that. Like and Hathaway is is maybe just an actress who sometimes rubs people the wrong way, but if we add these other layers to it, and Hathaway is potentially a savior,

a person connected to our greatest absolute writer. She's a chosen one and and has always been chosen for the last you know, yeah, whatever, I guess he's like sixteenth century something like that. It's fifth because it's one before the one that. Yeah, no, look, man, billies, you know it's back then. You know they had them pointed ass shoes and you know the things that were that were that were hyped up, the little high water joints. Yeah, they were doing it. Well, Fuck, I don't wait a minute.

That's cool, motherfuck completely that we did it. Wait. I think I think that was a wonderful answer. I think this was a wonderful, wonderful episode, a great recording. Could you tell the people at home where they could find you, what cool ship you have going on? All of that? Absolutely not, because right now I'm just in the cut, I'm writing, I'm building the stuff, you know, I mean

obviously watching Secure. The final season is airing right now, so you can catch me as Derek Dubois and all your screens and and besides that, you know, just laid back in the cut like I am. Just wait for wait for the new stuff to cut them as it as it most definitely will. Fuck yeah, So wait your goddamn turn, you idiots for a way to be ready

to show you this ship. But watching Secure and and follow Weight online, and as always you can follow me at Langston Kerman and if you want to send us drops, if you want to send us your own conspiracy theories, if you just want to send hate mail, send that goddamn ship to my mama pot at gmail dot com. I would love to hear from you. Otherwise I don't know. Bye, bitch, bye my crop chips in your hands. Quas are racist, mostly money mary stuff. I can't tell me