Motherfucking miniyar So mini episode, motherfucking miniar So. Yep, yep, yep, there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal mini episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we died deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we finally worked to prove the theories that you pieces of ship have at home. There you are jo away from it right on time, baby, just queued up perfectly the cut. You heard it here first.
You're a goddamn jigaboo if you listen to this and we're sick of you. I don't like the big lips, oh, your big lipt attitude. If you ask me, why did you want? Take the filler out that attitude, baby girl or boy? Fillers for everybody. Now, I'm like Stint Kerman and we're we're here to to deal in in your shenan against this week. We're gonna yeah, let's let's see
what you got. We're gonna read an email from from a person uh named Gilanni Gilanni, And I want to point out that that uh that Gilanni has contacted me on multiple platforms. It's it's worth noting Gilani has been very persistent about getting this conversation started, I guess, and has screamed at me multiple times about not not responding to him on other platforms. So so I hope Gilanni that this is gonna be satisfying and do all the thing.
But Gilanni said, well, first of all, it said forwarding this because I sent it to the wrong email. But you know, he stilled at me. He said, my mama told me biz it's like they seal like they get money. It's probably dot biz. Yeah, what's the Jelani said, forwarding this because I sent it to the wrong email? He said, Hey, man, first off, love the show been down for about a year now and I'm locked in every every week, twice a week. Love the dynamic y'all to have I be
crying dead as a New Yorker. I believe my conspiracy tries to date at least dead ass and wrote it out, you're passionate about that ship. Uh. My conspiracy is that mixing dark and light liquor makes you drunk or faster or just flat out sick. If this is true, how the hell does this work? And why respect? Peace and love Gelani? I don't even think yes, you're saying absolutely, this isn't even a conspiracy. We've all known that since high school, right right, that that you're supposed to if
you if you go light, you stay light. If you go dark, you stay dark. Yeah. I live my life by a phrase, and it's dance with the one you brought. M M. I like that. That's how you got it, that's how you gotta do it otherwise. I like that. I could see you saying that to a young man on your porch one day. Yeah, you've got a lounge chair. He's standing because he respects you different, you know, yeah, maybe water out of a mason jar. I could say, yeah, yeah,
I'm hosing down the lawn for no reason. He's got questions and the and the main answer. He says a whole bunch of bullshit about being young and passionate and what are you gonna do? And you just look at him, real calm and you say, hey, dance with the one you got. That's all, that's all it is. And he's like in his head he's like, what the fund does that mean? But also he respects you enough to wait, he'll figure it out. Yeah, hit him with the hose and said, get out of here yet yours. I gotta
water these petunias. You're like, yeah, he's wise, but he's met. He also cares about his garden. He really cares about those petunias. Yeah, shout out to my money tree. He's thriving. So so you are a firm believer in this conspiracy theory, no questions asked. I have no I need no research. Yeah, that's you. You mix it and that's when it goes bad for you. I assume that you're speaking from some level of experience that you've personal and and I've I've
viewed it from other people. Yeah, it's always like that. Also, I feel like you know what it is. It's it's like wearing a Nike hood do you with a Didas shorts or something like? Oh yeah, when we were kids, we call it that perpetrating. Yeah, it's just it's just offensive and it's not gonna go the way you wanted to know. It never looks as cool as you think
it is. And because it never looks cool, yeah, you're like, well, these are black joggers and this is a black sweatshirt, so more more, and they won't even notice the different emblems on this ship and I'll just put them on and nobody, no, no, any different And boy do we know different? Man? Yeah, and I'll make fun of you. M hmm, that's all make fun of you. Why would it work? Why would it work? It's poison. You mix some poises. You're gonna mix poisons inside of you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's specifically I I guess I. I was sitting wondering why that would be such a major problem, right, because in theory poisons poison, Why why would these poisons have these weird sort of interaction. But I don't think it's particularly different than like mixing certain foods with each other.
Like essentially, these poisons are made of various edible products that then get fermented, and so you don't want to be you know what I mean, Like you're sort of mixing steak and and fucking cereal d It's not that they're they're bad foods by themselves, but you don't got to do that at once. Yeah. No, it's just it's uncouth,
it's disgusting. It makes you look slovenly. Oh man, do you think And this I'm gonna ask, uh what I feel like might be a risk a question giving your response to all this, do you feel like there are certain dark and light liquors you could test the boundaries with, Like if you had to do the mixing, you're you drink one thing, they're all out, so you gotta mix. Are there ones where you're like, this is a reasonable mixture? Verse is others where you're like, what the funk were
you thinking? I mean, also I want you to say, I want you to understand that. Yeah, I'm stand out on this, but it's like booty play every day and and you did you let a little slip in. So I'm not pro this, but it does happen every now and again, this mixing of things, you know what I mean? So like, are there ones that I would know? It's all It's all the same to me. I think the biggest worry I have is don't mix wine in there. WHOA,
that's that's what that's to me personally. So you're saying, if I'm understanding correctly, if you went, if I went fucking whiskey all night and then wine, that is a worst choice, and whiskey all night than uh um or something like that. Yeah, definitely you when you throw wine in there. Because also when you throw wine in there. It's such a mood shift, like what were you doing?
You understand, like, what were you doing? Then? You started out a Hennessy night and then all of a sudden it's one am and you're drinking white wine or low something moved. You're not dancing with the one you brought. That's what you're right, I got you. Yeah, that's that one feels the most honest to your to your signature catchphrase. That that feels everybody knows. I've come on man, you said it the first day I met you. You shook my hand firm in the It's like, I think I'm
older than him. Why is he talking to me like this? But but no, it does because because like you're saying, a Hennessy night is a very specific night. You are. You are trying to funk on something, You're trying to move, You're trying to share. It's probably a lot of us is out. Yeah, I'm like a night you're ready to argue if if need be, for whatever reason that is. It's a passionate night. It's a passionate night. But then you you to somehow find yourself shifted into a white wine.
What transpired in your logic and your approach that broke so quickly. Yeah, I mean, well, but to be fair, shout out to my man, little Johnny Hat. This man, you know, I love me some little Johnny had, Little Johnny Hat a little little black and Pacific islander, young man. He claimed that white wine mixed with Henessey was a drink. Whoa, And I ain't seen any order that at the bar sometimes. Now here's what I think might be happening there. They're
both I think made from grapes. If I'm not mistaken, Hennessey is a great based drink. So maybe that was a motherfucker being like grapes is grapes. And but that's what that's the whole problem with this whole thing is grapes as grapes. That mentality, that's how we got here as a grapes grapes its grapes. And and you're right that we we can't just treat every grape the same. We gotta we gotta respect the difference. These winemakers, respect
the difference these Hennessy. I believe uh Sarack Obama is also made of grapes. No, but it should be. There's a slight tent of purple. If they made Sarack Obama, you guys got Dragon Barry or whatever the funk you're doing, but Obama, that's insane. And also, I can't speak to the Hennessy thing. I went to France and everyone I was accompanied with refused to go to the Hennessy factory. Whoa, you can tour it. I plan to go by myself.
Why why they not? Why were they so passionately against the Hennessy facause it was ours out of the way. Oh damn, it's not. It's like it's it's not it's not in Grand Old Perry. It's no, no, no, it's not in Gay Perry. It's like way out there. I got you. Yeah, I can see why they wouldn't want to make that trip. Then if Hennessy wasn't their passion in the first place. I also understand myself as a travel travel companion. You don't know what I'm gonna do
with the Hennessy factory. That's real. That's a real word. You don't know how it's because I don't know. I think that was part of their debate, like it's so far out of the way. And also, you're gonna turn into a menace. I think we're just gonna there's too much of a risk that you'll you'll be shirtless and dry humping a barrel by the end of this though, just trying to single handedly bring krunk back. Where did
he get clown makeup? We have no idea, but he's totally He's fucking crumping shirtless next to a barrel, and we try to little Scrappy. He brought his own gas candies, just putting it straight up to the Hennessy tap like anything. He's he keeps saying, look mym one of the east Side boys look at me, because Mob says how long is this gonna take? So, yeah, I do agree that there's something and at least the the grapes is grapes misstep that would allow somebody to mix white wine and
fucking hennessy. Yeah, it's just like you don't want to live like that. No, But I do think and I maybe this is part of what we're talking about. This down shifting is a really important part of it, or this weird shifting gears as it were. And some of this just feels like you gotta be honest with yourself about what specific liquors due to you that if if there is a behavioral equivalent in both dark and light liquors, then maybe you are gonna have this major combative sort
of battle in your body. Whereas like if you're like, no, I'm at a fucking tequila level and I know what tequila does to me, and then I'm mixing it with the weird ass personality of dark rum? What the fund did I just do to myself? You know what I mean? Like you, you're playing dangerous? Because when when are two? When are two opposing anything? Battling in your body? A good time? Yeah? Right? When does that? Ever? What does anything fighting inside of you good? Haven't y'all seen now?
Osmosis Jones? You don't want things fighting inside of you? You want everybody at peace. Yeah, you don't want Eddie Murphy and they're shooting down viruses or whatever. Rock Chris Rock, I knows, Rock was as most as Jones. Man who was Eddie Murphy? He was what was that movie where they were inside Eddie Murphy? Oh I believe you're thinking of? Is that Pluto Nash and No Pluto Pluto on the Strip Club on the Moon? Yeah? Yeah, I don't I
think he was. Yeah, maybe you got the gist that was maybe that's I love the idea, and then you pull up a script. Maybe that's the movie I'm working on. Never mind, that's actually called Pluto Gash gross gross boy. And if you want to, if you want to say something about what David just said and send us your thoughts, you can send them to my Mama pot at gmail dot com. We would love to hear your thoughts on
Pluto gash. Don't hit the though it is. That's gonna be bad for business if you if you hit that at the dot biz. Oh wait, Olivia has some science here. Oh nice for us. I love Google dot com. Clear beverage, just something Clear. Beverages like vodka, gin and white wine contain less congeners that dartor drinks like brandy, whiskey, rum, and red wine. Mixing the congenier's main increased stomach irritation. So that's a fact. We proved it. And then she
she has a definition for congeniers just below it. A minor chemical constituent fancy, especially one that gives a distinctive character to a wine or liquor or uh is responsible for some of its physiological effects. I think it proves it, and I think in essence, it is saying something similar to what I'm saying about, like the ship that it's doing in your body. And the truth is that all of these quote unquote congeners affect us differently and and
make us act a different kind of fool. So you gotta stick with the one you brought and and just act the specific kind of fool you chose at the beginning of the night. You know what I mean, and you know what you should do. You start a booze journal. So then every time you get drunk. You know what happened last night? I drank a bunch of tequila and I tried to fight two bouncers. Now I know tequila makes me fight bouncers. Yeah, yeah, last night I drank a bunch of rum. I told the uber driver I
had a gun. Like it's like you figure out right, rum rum makes me honest, That's that's because I think I do got a gun. But I have to do I have to tell him all that, you know, but otherwise he wasn't going to go through the drive through. It was like, bro, I just I need you to know I got like that before you take me home. Yeah, yeah, none of that fiddle fattle you'd be up to yeah with the gunless people out here, but no, no, no, we're taking the highway. Well, Gelanti, I I hope that
this was this was informative for you. I hope it was cathartic, finally getting us to to do as you've been screaming and demanding on the internet. We greatly appreciate your email, and I hope you learned a little something. Stop making yeah, and also always tell the Uber driver you got that thing on you? Yeah? You? Why why wait? Why wait to to assert that level of dominance in another man's car. Huh? Well boy, you want to tell
the people where they can find you? Uh, you know, my years winding down, But December twenty second, you can find me at the Jimmy Kimmel Comedy Club in Las Vegas at the Wink Hotel. Also, thank you with my mama told me fans we've been coming out to My Life shows. That's been great. It's really nice to see you keep on coming out. I'll keep telling inappropriate jokes about having sex with African women. Hell yeah, oh man, I haven't heard any of those bits. I'm excited to
catch them. That this is exciting, it's a complicated. Uh well, As always, you can follow me at Mikes and Kerman on all platforms and I'll weigh in. I've had sex with a few African women. I'll throw a few tip bits in just on the social media, just the I don't think they're tidbits. I think they're big tits. You ain't wrong. And as always, if you want to send us your conspiracy theories, your drow, your your opinions on sexing African women, you can send them all to my
Mama pod at gmail dot com. Do that ship without mixing your liquors. Okay, we did it by bitch, motherfucking Mini year so many episode, motherfucking Mini year so, motherfucking Minie so many episode, motherfucking Mini epso