May Your Nightmares Come True: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode

Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini eaisol.

Dell me what's really going on? Drizzy backup in this thing. I'm ready was happy name there it is there, it is. Ladies and gentlemen, gentiles and little mamas are like, welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.

Me, the podcast where we dive into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.

And we finally worked to prove the theories that you the listener have at home. It's a motherfucking mini EPA episode. Bitch.

Welcome bitch? Uh is it you saying it? Some motherfucking mini episode just with the voice on? Uh?

Yeah, Justin did that before I had the modulator, before I could do shoot. Justin are brilliant editor. Did that all by himself before me.

I was playing with that voice. We got a karaoke machine in the house. Yeah, and it's it does that voice and it does baby voice good time you mean, yeah, fun.

A weird robot. Baby, I can do whatever you want, you know. It's pretty cool.

Wow, so fun technology. That's how we're here to talk about.

No, we got an email from a from a listener, a person by the name of Brittany sent us a very concise, very to the point email. Brittany wrote conspiracy theory about nightmares as a subject line, and then she said high Linkston David, my mama told me that telling someone about a nightmare that you had on an empty stomach will make it come true. Please can consider discussing this on the podcast. Thanks Brittany formal. I love it, as she said, I got, I have a subject. I

But none of the usual pleasantries and or disrespect, which is a breath of freshure.

She didn't spin in our face, but she also didn't kiss it, and that's that's fascinating.

She didn't elevate one of us above the other. That's also also always difficult.

She didn't try to sell one of us a product that makes us feel self conscious about ourselves.

Just she just was like, hey, here's the subject, which is good, great approach. But I do love some of our cilliar lists as well. Here's my first question. Have you ever told it? Have you ever? Have you ever had a nightmare come true?

I don't think So I don't. I think a lot of my nightmares tend to be more fantastical than they are, or at least they used to be much more fantastical than they were, like literal same, And so I don't. I think it would require a level of like weird space travel to be able to make some of my nightmares happen. Certainly interdimensional shit would have to take place to make some of my nightmares come true.

It would be the cast of characters alone. The budget, Yeah, the budget you would need to cast my nightmares. And also, I will say, anytime in my life that I've had a living nightmare, it's always been something I didn't even know it was my worst nightmare until it happened to me.

Mm hmmm hmm.

You know you're like, oh, this is my nightmare, this is my I didn't need I wasn't even afraid of her cheating on me or whatever. Right, you know what I mean? Oh this is I thought this was a cool shirt or whatever it was.

Yeah. Yeah, there are things your brain sort of skips past and it's like, wait, we don't need to dream about that. That would be silly, that would be a waste of time. Are truly the biggest nightmares you're ever going to experience.

Every time, every time.

Yeah, no, it's one hundred percent true. The other day, my sprinklers wouldn't turn off, like our gardener fucked up and kind of like broke the sprinkler system, so there was a leak. And then I twisted the normal like hose turn on thing to check it to see if I could work on the leak myself, and then could not whisk them off like legitimately, they just would not turn off, and they were on for like an hour.

See that's a nightmare I never had, but now it's a thing I'm afraid of.

Bro, you feel so strong and so.

Nothing having to call a bigger, better man to come fix things in your.

Home at midnight, be like, hey, could you wake up one of your men?

Yeah? I know he's probably with his family.

I'm what and I and I I twisted knobs and none of the knobs fixed. So so could you make a man wake up from his wife and or his lover?

And uh, I'm wet and I'm scared and I just need a man in his big scary vehicle to come say.

I'll invite him in my home despite having no evidence he couldn't murder me in an instance.

That's how bad I needed his help. Oh man, God, I gotta learn a trade now.

It's embarrassing. So yes, I agree with you that your nightmares are sometimes far more far reaching than your brain is actually capable of finding.

Yeah, I feel like my also some of my nightmares. Do you ever? I have a lot of times, though, where a nightmare will be literally a thing I'm worried about. But my worries are not necessarily reality. Mm hmmm hm, you know what I mean. The things I'm scared of a lot oftentimes aren't based in any type of like reality, perceived or otherwise. Yeah, So it's like, I don't feel like I run the risk of this, but I am interested, because aren't most dreams on an empty stomach.

I think what she's saying is, if you tell somebody about your nightmare while you have an empty stomach, not the dream it.

So it's not like if you go to bed hungry and then you have a nightmare, it'll come true. Yes, if you wake up and tell your spouse or whatever maybe I don't know that.

Or whatever, right then somebody's gonna come in your house and kill you, is the theory.

I don't know that I believe in this. But this is also because I don't tell a lot of people my nightmares.

I don't ever tell anybody the horrors that happened in my head at night or otherwise a lot of the times, which is why I struggle in communications and communication and relationships. But that's my business. The point is, it feels to me like an idiom, a sort of like a wives tale, if you will. That's more about treating your community kindly. Do you know what I mean?

That?

Like, as far as not telling people your nightmares.

Not telling your people, not telling people your nightmare while on an empty stomach feels like, bro, don't wake me up.

With that shit.

Do you know?

What I mean, Like, don't just corner me in the beginning of the day telling me some weird shit that's in your head, Sit me down for a meal. Let's let's be decent to each other and make this communal. Let's make this about building bonds and relationships, not me like rounding a corner to go to the bathroom, and like, you know, I saw spiders in my brain last night. Fuck you.

I like that. I think that's the kind of the best takeaway you could get from this is because I also don't tell anybody what's going on. It's an action I find to be not safe.

A lot of caution tape around here.

Yeah yeah, yeah, by lose my grip, all, slide off and die.

So my mama told me presents the Start to Steal Tour. We're very excited about it. Yeah, I'm not about to bite my tongue. We want to sell it out and the dates are coming up fast and so if you live in one of these areas, we want you to buy your tickets now. It's all available on our instagrams, on our websites, on our link tree. But you can see us in Washington, DC on October tenth, Chicago October thirteenth. October seventeenth, we're in La in Hollywood. We'll be in

I do like the idea of the community of it. I think that's the best takeaway from it. Do you tell people your fears and things like that?

I find it easier to let those things out in a joke than I do in like just a raw conversation.

Same. Do you ever find yourself Do you ever find yourself making a joke that is too real? Though?

Uh yeah, I'm kind of sitting on one right now that like has elements of it that make me uncomfortable, where like I'm saying something in particular about sort of like not it's not intimacy in my relationship, but certainly like communication in my relationship that makes me feel like I'm being a little too. I'm playing a line and I don't. I don't like how that feels. Yeah, I have one about black people saying stuff funny. That's that is just for you. Yeah, it's yeah, I get it

We only have minutes left.

I think it's also hard because you fear saying something on stage that you have not even yet been willing to say to your partner, and that becomes sort of not just an invasion of privacy, but almost an outing of an intimacy that you didn't share together. And then that becomes like this dangerous thing of Oh, I thought I was just expressing myself, when in fact I was sabotaging an otherwise potential healthy conversation we could have with each other.

Yeah, he's the guy who's done the work ladies and gentlemen.

I haven't. Though I'm truly bullshitting my way through this.

This conversation did get too real because I don't I'm realizing now I'm thinking about it. I don't tell anyone my dreams or otherwise.

No, very rarely have I ever expressed my dreams to anybody. And that's yeah, yeah, But I do agree with the sentiment that if you are gonna tell me about your dreams, please do not make it something I just have to raw dog, you know what I mean, Feed me, agreed, agreed, treat me, make it. Let us be doing something fun. Don't make this the just I woke up, I need to pee, but I gotta stop to listen to whatever you gotta tell me. Situation.

And I like that. I think that in this one, that's definitely like a folklore type of a situation. If that's what we can draw from that that, you know what I mean, the idea of not to use people as a dumping ground, to acknowledge that, you know what I mean, acknowledge the give and take in a situation like that. I think ultimately that's a pretty positive one. And I think that this is like a good thing

Yeah, I think that's one hundred percent fair. Don't look not when I first wake up, not when it's like eleven thirty before lunch, you know what I mean. We're all hungry. We've been click clacking at this computer the whole time. We're all just trying to squeeze the last little bit of life out of ourselves, and we're desperate to isolate and get refill our energy. Don't give me that shit right then, and not right before like a you know what I mean, like a dinner, right before bedtime,

You how I dream about me killing my father. There's one of those jokes.

Yeah, hilarious.

This podcast is too funny.

Where did they come up with it?

These guys, they must be right material. I think we did it.

I think I think we did. It feels like a good explanation, Brittany. I hope that that feels satisfying. I think it is more a tool of healthy communication than it is a literal threat. So feel free to share your nightmares. Just make sure you ain't annoying people while you do it. Yeah, I think that's great what you got going on? Cool guy jokes eighty seven on Instagram, Patreon, dot com, backslash David Bory over sixty three videos at this point, and my comedy special Births of a Nation

Know Wait a minute, do you ever? Man? I hate that. I don't know the words completely. Yeah, it's embarrassing, cause it's like, whenever it's turning up, it's always like and this is sexist but it's always like some girl who's doing every single because I got most of it. But then when he's calling out the club, the A know what kods? You know what I mean, that's like the hard part for me.

Bro.

I'm a I'm gonna say something that I'll probably regret. I got like two bars in there, and I.

Don't really else. Yeah, I got the good ones right, but like right now, no college, Yeah, some of it is not good. I know how to hit.

I know how to hit some big notes in it, you know what I mean? Where like I can I can jump and say words like I'm familiar with the song.

They don't remember me.

Yeah, there's no there's nothing in me that's like, oh you got it. You can hit that first verse no problem and sayd version gets rocky, but you can find yourself again. No, I ain't got nothing.

As they get older, I don't have any verses. I used to have so many verses.

I had every verse memorized from every song that ever came out.

It was crazy, even songs they didn't like. I still know all the words to write there, But like now I got when was the last time you wanted a new verse?

It's been a minute. It's been a minute, and.

I've heard songs where I was like, damn, I shouldn't this verse, and by the time I sometimes learned the verse.

It's embarrassing if I were to be like rapping along with it, you know what I mean?

That song from eight months ago, y'all?

Yeah, we like.

Sometimes you gotta pop out and show me.

Like you is he rapping the the kids?

This?

What are you doing?

So we're over that? Now we're over there?

Put that away? What are you doing rapping along to this anymore? This song is old, engrossing us out man, stop, get.

Out of here. What cool things do you have going on?

You can follow me at Langston Kerrman on all social media platforms. You can watch my special called Bad Poetry on Netflix, watch English Teacher on FX. And most importantly, if you would like to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories, If you would like to tell us what songs we could memorize early so that we look like cool young people again, send that all to Mamma pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you, and most importantly, we would love to

Cruel?

Cruel Atlanta?

Uh?

Why would I go out of order? I could have Portland. I could have done this in any reasonable order, and I would have gotten them easy, but I chose not to. More importantly, yeah, those tickets are all Seattle. Those tickets are all available online. We would love to see you on tour. Tickets are moving and and we want them to move fast. So so we want you to step up, bitch and buy them early. We need you. We're asking politely, and I'm sorry I called you a bitch. I'm really

Well the Minion Your Soul, Mini Your and Soul. Well, the fucking mini episode, well, the fucking mini episode, mini episode, all the fucking mini episode. Bar