What up, freaks, Listen to me, you god damn sickos, listen, listen to us and listen good.
Yeah, put that fucking moscato down, little mama. What the why are you drinking?
Did you just have dinner?
Is it des our wine?
Why are you just drinking that but just raw.
Drink on a Tuesday? You're fucking weirdo. What are you doing?
They don't even drink that no more? You all know.
I mean, I got some one ice just in case it comes back.
But I do have a new vox section in my freezer. But but that's neither here, no there.
My dream house has a hypnotic cellar, So.
You got like hypnotic over the years where the artwork.
Changes a little bit and shit.
Like I didn't even know Hypnotic had that bottle.
Yeah, you would have to.
You'd have to be a real kind of sworder to know that.
The real heads, no, the red one.
Anyway, we were calling upon you because, uh, we have we have new merch. We have very exciting merch that we are now selling and it's it's fucking great. We love it so much.
It's sexy. Come on, you could wear it anyway. You could wear it to the gym Ah Tech school graduations. Yeah, fucking child support hearings.
Listen, if you put it on before a child support hearing, I almost guarantee that that that day you ain't gonna be guilty. I can't guarantee that things are gonna eventually follow your way. That's not for us to decide. But that day you ain't gonna owe no money.
Then it's a fact. No one's ever gone to jail in any of our merch.
That's true. That's check the check the research. Come on, come on, well, you have the opportunity to prove us from you can buy our merch. Commit some crimes in it, commit some crimes, and maybe you will be the first person to go to jail. And that's historic because you'll be wearing our merch when you do it.
I'm calling it right now, first person to go to jail in our merch. You get a free pin.
You get a free pin. That's fair. I think that's fair. And you will have to figure out a way to write us from jail. We need to know it when it happens. It can't be like a thing that comes days later, because frankly, somebody else might beat you to the punch and that it just is what it is. But yeah, please write us and let us know that you in fact deserve a pin in jail, which they will take away from you because I don't think you get to have that.
It's absolutely contraband.
Yeah, that's they're gonna take that almost immediately. But but just know with three to five years, when you get out that pin is yours.
We think about how nice you're gonna fit it.
Then you never say big buff niggas with pins.
It's you know what else? I was sicking the other day. You never see him with scarves when that's time. He's like a brolic type dude with a scarf on.
Yeah, I feel like Jason Momoa be trying to play in that space and it looks odd.
It looks stupid. You were what's that? What's that little scarf gonna do for those big ass shoulders?
Yeah, this is this don't feel right, my man, and you're gonna have to cut that out.
Yeah. What I always think it's like, what do you wears that floppy beanie? We know that's not for you.
Yeah, this is because you ate out a lady who needs.
This, because you ain't out a witch. Let's be honest, that's true. Are we talking about buying our merch.
Yeah, we're here to sell you merch, and we have great merch we we have. You want to tell them what we have?
Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is really fun. We have a two tone hat Alien Dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have the enamel pin with an alien who has a coofie on it, since my mama told me. And then we have T shirts that say proud Little Mama, which is who you are. Yeah, and you're proud right.
You self identify as a little mama, as you should, as we support that identity if you self identify that way. There are shirts that say proud little Mama and they got the logo and shit on the back.
It looks great and they're easy to buy. Just go to my mama told me dot Merch Central. That's dot M E R C H C E N T r A L dot com. Put in your credit card number. Are we gonna scam you?
Hard to know?
That's for you to find out.
And frankly, that depends on how much merch you buy.
Yeah, you buy three T shirts I ain't taking your ship.
No, we we understand that you're a real fan and we respect you.
But if you show up.
Just wanting one pin, now we got object to see how much more you got in there.
Yeah, I mean, come on, I'm worried about what else you got going on.
We frankly, we're worried about your future. And if we're not checking your bank account afterwards, we are being irresponsible.
Don't forget We do it because we care.
We that's the only reason we have this podcast and we're selling this merch is because we care.
So yeah, my mama told met merch central dot com for all your merch.
Needs, and we hope to see you out in the ship. Will show up to shows and places that we are eating at restaurants and be like, I'm a proud little mama and I would be like, oh cool man, Uh.
Maybe not in front of my daughter. And you're like, oh yeah cool, yeah yeah like that.
So.
What stand Yeah, no, no, no whatever. You when you see me out in the street.
My daughter, do not fucking speak to me.
Well yeah, these T shirts and hats infans the pre right now. They'll all be shipped December tenth, So you should be able to get him by Christmas, you know what I mean? So you know what are you looking for? Something to get your father in law who doesn't respect you as a man or a provider? Maybe a two tone? My mama told me that.
I would say a proud little mama T shirt because that sort of degrades him a little bit, brings him down to your level. Now you're now you're on, Now you're you can have a real conversation. I think you're a little mama bitch.
Yeah, how about that? And your daughter ate this dick.
Okay, that's that's the whole thing, my bitch.
Chips in your.
Ah Kuala bears are racists. Money many turkey stuff, I can't tell me