Sometimes I've been thinking about Reggie not giving up that fish HOOKI yeah, he really wanted it.
I really wanted it, and he was not going to tell me where he God, he really was like, no, this is uh, this is private. Yeah, it's like, you don't even want to go to that neighborhood, bro.
Yeah, here's that's how you play. You was like, oh, it's not even it's from my old neighborhood. You can't even get over there.
Yeah, He's like, man, busses don't even go that way. Get your shut the fuck up.
Chips in your bears are racist layer Oh the money turny stuff, I.
Can't tell me.
Yaw, y'all real smooth. There it is there, it is. Little mamas and gentiles alike, Welcome to another funamal episode of My Mama Told Me.
The Post where we died deep into the pockets of black conspiracy.
You know what the fuck we came to prove not even goddamn thing. We ain't helping, not even trying to. That wasn't our goal at all. No, we don't even have the illusion of it. If you dumb motherfuckers are learning something from this, h yeah, boom, what you blew it. Are you crazy?
Sometimes I do see like comments and stuff and I'm like, oh, there's people who are taking this seriously.
Yeah that's a worry. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, that's so worry when people are like, actually, you know this is stupid.
Yeah you know I didn't. I didn't think about this. Hum yeah, actually, because this is dumb. Actually listen to the news. Yeah yeah, no there, but yeah, the news I guess is hard to believe too. So yeah, have you read all the Shakespeare? All of it? Yeah? No, not even I haven't even put a big dent in it. I think I'm gonna do it this year. It hit a lot of Shakespeare. Yeah, are you a fan?
No?
Are you doing this to like force yourself to become a fan? I would just like to know what it's all about. Like I think I'll do like spark notes alongside with it. Like I don't need to like not like gonna just write notes about every single You're not gonna like figure this out.
Yeah, but I do want to know what all the plays are in a way where I've read them all.
I don't need to read them all, but I would like to that point a little bit of uh of appreciation for some of the ones that are ones. That's how I feel like I want to know king Lee or well enough that I go like, oh, I get why people fuck with clean king Lee or so hard.
That's that's how I That's what I mean. I want to Well, I'm just gonna it's not so big that it's crazy to especially because you could just read it when it play at a time. Yeah, it's how I'm thinking, right, But I think I can. I just ordered it on Amazon. I'd like to get it done by the end of the year. Wow, I don't think it's that crazy. Like, bro, I've tried to read The Idiots so many times and I just can't that Russian shit.
It's like two dens for me or something. I really, Uh, what I like and what I've been sort of aiming for as a goal is that I'm just now fully being honest about what I like in books. And I like thriller, horror and I don't even care if it's garbage. Right, Okay, I got you, And so like I've resolved that, like, I may not have an opinion on a bunch of like the classics, right, but I do still want to
be reading. I still want to be learning, growing, and so I'll focus my energy on some shit I really fuck with and just make that part of my wheelhouse rather than you know, trying to be fit in with a bunch of people who grew up reading some shit that I'm never going to appreciate as much as they do.
It's not even the fitting into me though, it's just like, like the Shakespeare stuff. It's like a bunch of stuff I like is based off of that. Almost everything, you know what I mean. So it's like I want that knowledge just in and of that, yeah, less than like I don't really want to talk to people about Shakespeare right or most books.
But I also think, you know, all of it's based off of that because it was the first thing. And how many stories are That's what I mean. There's like six stories and he did them first, so here we are. And that conspiracy that he didn't do them or he had a lot of help he had that Shakespeare. I think there's a conspiracy that Shakespeare is more than one person. It's like a Banksy. Yeah, I didn't know that Banksy is thought to be more than one person. I thought that.
I don't know, though, I yeah, I'm not sure. I don't know enough about either of them. But there are theories that Shakespeare was multiple people. There are theories that Shakespeare was a woman. There's also a lot of theories that he was gay, and that like half the sonnets are about a young boy, that he was like one specific young boy. I my understanding is that there were like a few, but like there's one dude in particular that really shines in them sonnets.
Was he working class? He couldn't have been working class. He was writing in Shakespeare. Yeah, he's a pretty rich guy. He looked rich to me because he had an earring.
Yeah yeah, big old puffed up collars then like a motherfucker with some money.
That's not I feel like there will be a point where black people get to that collar, oh, puffed up collar.
Yeah, I think so. Do you think we're heading towards a puffed up collar era? I think it's gonna happen at some point. Now do you do you think about that in think progress? I don't think about fashion in those terms. Oh, I kind of just think about it as like, oh, what a weird face. I mean, I don't know.
I guess they say like it can be I don't know. Enough about fashion. I understand how the trends are reflective of society. Like I remember hearing something about, like in the ninety shit was baggy because we were that prosperous.
But I don't know if that's real. Oh yeah, there's always that thing where they go like during Victorian times, a thick woman meant that you were well fed. Right, They're attractive to everyone around you, right, And maybe that's true. Maybe they were getting like horned up for these big old thick ladies because they were rich. But then I wonder how much of that is like hindsight bias, where
we go like, oh, that explains why everybody. Everybody was gonna be horning for the queen anyway, right, I think that she happened to be a little chubby, It doesn't matter where. That's our our. That's the way the world works is you're gonna be horny for the rich lady.
I think, more specifically than people were always gonna be horny for rich ladies. I don't think there was ever a time when fat buds weren't cool, you know what I'm saying, Like, I think that was always probably pretty.
I don't, I don't, you know, I think in the same way.
If anything, the most present time is probably the first time that people didn't like that buds.
I think in the same way that like, media has poisoned our perspective on a lot of things. But I think fat butts are one of the biggest victims of media poisoning. Damn, yeah, that might be it, because I I do feel this way.
I feel like ass got out of control and the way that titties did it at least at least at least in my life, right, because like you think about our age in the nineties, it was like we still like ass.
But I feel like the zeitgeist was titty, titties was titties was king. Titties was king in the nineties.
Yeah, but I feel like the extreme of titties was not the same as the extreme of ass.
Now, WHOA, yeah, you you think people have taken ass technology further than they took titty technology. One. I don't know, man. I saw a lot of videos of big tittied ladies crushing cans and and I don't think normal though. I don't think I think that was freak shit. I think that was friendship that you saw.
I don't think that like I think if you compare Kim Kardashian's ass yeah to Pam Anderson's titties, Ye, Kim Kardashian's ass is more outside the realm of oh.
I will say this, I think that bbls have become so a part of our everyday lives that we don't even notice them anymore. You know what I mean that your TSA agent has a BBL That's where I see the most of them. Gloria, they're going crazy over I don't know if y'all got a work discount, but you're going nuts. It's crazy LaGuardia ass like in the last three four years, and frankly, some of you would do well to ask a different doctor for a second, a
second consultation. I have seen some terrible ones at Laguardi. I've seen some wild point diamond shaped women. Yeah.
And I here's my question too, I don't know does that speak to surgery in general or is that something within the nature of the ass and or the titty.
Well, here's something I can tell you that I learned pretty recently. My sister in law explained this to me that to be a plastic surgeon, specifically, the type of consummetic plastic surgeon that they are. You don't have to necessarily have a surgical license. You don't have to be a surgeon. You just have to like have a medical
certification to be able to do a lot of these surgery. So, like, I can't remember his name, but like the dude who's like the biggest, one of the biggest like surgeons in the US who does like all the like weird celebrity bbms Miami. It might be doctor Miami. It might be a different dude, but either way, a doctor Miami type is a dentist. He's not an actual fucking plastic surgeon at all. God damn. He just is a dude who technically has a medical degree. And it is like, yeah,
I'm about to get a bag. We need to go back to a simpler time when doctor Miami was a cocaine dealer. Yeah, yeah, that's when we understood the world. That was easy.
You got dentists making butts, that's crazy. That's they were already on the edge.
They're not even they haven't even mastered veneer technology. Yeah, man, and now you can put butts in Nah, that's crazy. Yeah, no, it's scary. Shit when you think about, like who's controlling the imagery that we not only experienced but like put on ourselves.
Yeah, I can't wait till the butts get all Mmm, it's gonna be funny. You think twenty sixty.
You think the disintegrating BBL is gonna be worth the worth the potential nightmare we we live in inside of everybody having.
One, I know about worth it, but it's kind of it'll be a fun part of that to be like, oh, remember when we were going.
Crazy, You're saying there's still a silver lining regardless. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think it'll be. But maybe the age well, I don't really know. I've never seen an old fic, but I don't think that this technology has gotten old yet.
That's the problem. And I think that's why. And look that I think titty technology got older and they seem to be doing okay. I think some titties, some titties are aging really well. Yeah, and I think some of them are not.
But I think that's just the difference in quality of work more than it is like the technology could not handle being old.
It's gonna be crazy when whatever dudes start doing more regularly. Yeah, old, because hair is just the beginning, My friend.
Oh no, what do you think's coming?
I think it's all you think they're going to figure out how to give guys bigger dicks. You don't think that's where science has been leading this whole time. All of our great discoveries, the moon, landing, the Internet, it was all leading.
Dudes being able to get bigger dick. That's the whole point of this. Well do it here? If not that, yeah, and then that's when that's the fall of Rome. If you're willing to break your shins so that you could get another four inches, you're one hundred willing to let them inject some shit into your PPM. See what happens. And do you want four inches on top? Or do you want four inches of dick? Really? I think the truth is you wanted four inches of dick, and the
technology he hadn't caught up yet. That's what I'm saying. I think I think you will stand so tall with four extra inches of dick. I would my posture would be so tall.
Just from ego alone. I would will another inch off the top on the top, like I'm growing an inch.
That's m hgh is gonna it's gonna burn back up. It's gonna like an old factory resetting. That motherfucker is kicking back in because I got four more inches a dick, bro, that's all we're all looking for. That's why you have a job, that's why you drive a car, man like. So, yeah, I do think that's where it's going. And I think that's quite frankly, a power we're not fit or ready to harness.
I I think that is the fall of me. Yeah, that's it. I think once everybody is walking around with a big old dick, it is uh scary the results that are gonna come out of that. You know how many more wars everybody? Everybody's gonna because.
I don't think it becomes everybody has a big dick, so no one has one because we're flowed, we're people, So it's it's gonna instead of that, it's gonna be like, no, I got this big.
Old dick, doo, you can't talk to me like that. And now nobody Now nobody works at Target.
And now nobody works at Target because we all got huge because everybody's an entrepreneur, everybody whole crypto and they you you know how many coins launched if we all get big dick.
You spent money to get that big dick, so you know you earned you. You went through the trenches for that big Yeah. So yeah, you're gonna walk around and act like you have a big dick. Now, Bro, Guys with big dicks walk around crazy and they didn't even earn it. They didn't earn it at all. Imagine if you put that shit on layaway, a man and a lady gave you that.
Yeah, you just got lucky. Yeah, real like, you just got lucky. Imagine if you worked hard. There's good people are gonna immigrate to this country for dicks.
Whoa my life, came here for a better life.
And also.
Six he's just bunting tables it Olive Garden. He's gonna go back, He's gonna go back to say.
Doctor North Dakota assures me he didn't give me the biggest hug that's ever existed.
North.
They're gonna have to put this technology somewhere unreachable, no, where you really have to earn it, because if it's just in Miami and they're giving niggas big dicks in Miami, we're done.
So No, it's a it's a rat. Once new York finds out there giving big dicks down in not Miami, it's gonna be crazy. And in the Carolinas it's gonna fit. They got big, big, big dick week on the beach. Yeah, oh man, myrtle, No, it's we really candle it, We really candle it. You scared the funk out of me.
No, imagine the whole Alien Gonzales saga. If you had just been coming here to get a bigger dick.
That's why that rap saying, yeah, they don't do any Cuba like. Look, man, what I got right now ain't gonna work. And I'm willing to break every law in this country. I'm willing to up end your legal system for the sake of getting a bigger hug.
I'm not the type of guy to say this, but if we get big dick technology in Miami, go on and build that wall.
We're gonna need it. We're gonna need We're gonna need it. Look, this is for our safety. These people coming over the border. We don't know what signs of penis is terrifying the little penises they have. We can't afford to give them big dicks. Build that wall. We can all agree, we don't want the gene pool water down in that way. Look, look these tiny pps.
I just said, if you don't have a big dick build along, this can't be where you're getting any information.
You said it, and I liked it so much I thought we should circle it. Yeah yeah, yeah, this is we have said it before. We're not role models. No, I even forget to pronounces roll model.
I was just gonna say that. I was just gonna say that I row row your boat models. Yeah, yeah, I forget that.
It's roll roll model roll yeah, like you want with the e yeah, not like uh no, not like the dice. Wouldn't that be funny? Dice hero, my dice hero play dice? Uh not really.
I think you would actually really enjoy it. And not even like at a house. I mean at Vegas, it's like at the craps table. It's like it's an energy game.
It was the it was like the bad kid thing to do at school, right was be playing dice in the bathroom. And I think I was such a I don't want to be in a bad kid like bad bad kid. I liked. I like being tangential, tangential to a lot of like misbehaving people actually bad kids. They didn't want it to be like I didn't want to be like a bad kid. That's what I'm saying. Vegas.
Yeah, it's like at the table, everybody's drunk, you're on a run, you're betting with some Swedish guy. I find you're asking him how to say stuff in Swedish.
I find Vegas so intimidating, and real Sinos in general so intimidating, in part because everybody around you seems like they know what they're doing, that's true, and I don't, and you feel like an asshole to be like, can you teach me? No, I can play.
It is built to make you feel like an asshole. It's built for you to either really know what you're doing or to come lose your money and leave because you're embarrassed.
And I think a lot of people would would maybe break even if they were just willing to be like, hey, I don't actually know how to play this that good? Could someone help?
Right?
And the thing about crafts that'll happen this should be getting on my nerves. You'll come and there'll be somebody who's betting everybody, and then it comes to your role and they don't bet, or they bet against you, and you're like, oh, so as fuck me right right?
You get like, you get angry. They think you're a bad luck for some shit, for some shit. They don't like your energy, they don't like your energy, and so they bet against you. Yeah, and now you have a nemesis. Yeah. But I've developed a callous because I've had a lot of Chinese people yell at me bad luck. Okay. They used to call me hawk Chai. Oh no, bad luck in Chinese. No I piece that together.
Yeah yeah.
It was either that or it was the worst word. Oh no.
The other their one for black at the time was Obama. Oh was twenty ten Okay, Yeah, it was like a lot of Obama. You live in Oakland Obama? Whoa yeah yeah yeah yeah.
So they didn't even consider that that there was only one Obama. They were like, nah, y'all all Obama. Yes, that's cool.
And I would love to say I haven't participated in similar activities going the other way.
I think the nineties had us calling a lot of people Jackie Chan, Yes, in a violent, shameful way. I think we've talked about it on here. That whole movie was just like you can't you talk crazy? Yeah, I don't understand you. That's the whole movie.
What's a Walk? It was like a very terrible cultural and it was like Jackie jan.
Being very patient.
They really Jackie Jed's like, in my country, I worked hard and I earned this job, and here's the story.
And Chrisucker's like, I don't even talk about that day? Did? That was the only humanizing thing they did for him? Was there? Like his dad's dead and he was a cop. Yeah, so I guess he has a purpose. But like otherwise, Chris Tucker was just a psychopath yelling at this man who clearly doesn't speak English about touching his radio and letting him tag along in the most dangerous scenarios imaginable. Yeah, it was really, man, what a good movie it was.
It was what a pair. And that's why I want to read Shakespeare because isn't that a Midsummer's Night's Dream?
Oh?
I have no idea, I don't. I don't think, so i'll tell you when I read it.
I'm gonna go so far as to say I don't think a midsummer Night's Dream at any point has a Chinese man saying the end word well, you.
Know what, let me read it for myself. Let me be the judge of that. Yeah, all right, we we should get into some voicemails. Yeah, we got voicemails from you, sweet baby boys and baby girl. Yeah, thank you.
Shout out to the guy who last night told me in Langston he wants to call in with his pants off drunk.
Yeah that was that was very nice. It's nice to see fans out and about. Yeah. Yeah, you know, you don't have to call that way.
I mean, you're gonna do what you're gonna do. You're an adult, and I think that's really all we could say.
Uh. I haven't listened to anything. I haven't even looked at the titles. I haven't either, But but let's let's one. Let's let's be bold, let's be all right. Let me marry. I got the title, I got, I got one that seals exciting to the trigger.
All right, here we go, Yo, first and foremost, love your episode. One of my homeboys. Put me on.
Can't stop listening, all right, you cussing a lot. I like deep voice.
I have a conspiracy.
Okay, that's my fucking love custing. That's cool.
I fucking love y'all. I gotta thing that tell you. It makes me, you know what the energy is. He's on break at work, like you ever be on breaking work, and you just trying to fit it in, like.
Like walking in. It's like that. Yeah, his break just started, but he've been thinking about this the whole time. I'll tell him I'm about to put some ship on him. They're gonna call me back, so I gotta I love it. I gotta get this in. I love you all.
Right.
Here we go, Shane and Shark and his brother, Sterling Shark. I think with everything going on right now with Shane and Sharp, it's a ritual conspiracy. It's a ritual fucking conspiracy. They're making him do all of this stupid shit so he could get his brother into the Hall of Fame.
WHOA, Okay, this isn't you're saying the NFL like some sort of shame ritual. NFL is making him do this. I would love that brother. I'm pretty sure this is all shit.
I don't think anybody assisted. I don't think that much mouth motherfucker needs that much help. I think it's all his idea. I think that boy ain't too bright and uh and and he really is digging a nasty b whole for himself. It's a deep because he's strong. That whole got muscles on it. He's strong as hell, but he is he is digging a hole. It is a fascinating thing to watch listening.
Sterland Shark's numbers were not amazing. They just wanted somebody to get into Hall of Fame so they could keep on having all these other players come later on. But Sterling Shark was never gonna make it. Shannon put himself on there and said, I would do whatever to keep my brother into the Hall of Fame.
That's it, Okay, listen, I understand what you're saying, and I love my brother. Yeah, thank you for saying that. I think a lot of people will worry he might be listening any any of the three and my sisters too, they're not listening.
Uh.
I don't know if you have sex with a twenty year old to help your brother, you know what I'm saying. I don't think that's like he's like, I gotta do it.
I don't want to.
I gotta do it for Sterling, my sacrifice, fucking twenty year older.
I don't think. I don't think he I think he isn't a hero's tinge.
No, I think it's a wild but because did Sterling, because he does say he's one of those guys who's like, my brother was better than I ever was, right.
I think so, right, But I think everybody feels that way about there just because he got taller first. Yeah, I mean, Michael Jordan has all those stories about how like his brother was like the the greater player, but he never grew past like five eight. I was gonna say, his brother's also five eight. Yeah, and it's like, well, Jame's Larry. Yeah, He's like, well, I guess you could say Larry's better, but like when you're in when you.
Were twelve, he was, he was, And that's cool man, Yeah, And I think that's fun. It's really dope. He's telling people in the bar right now.
Cheryl Miller was so good at basketball that she busted Reggie Miller's for most of his life life. But eventually Reggie Miller made it past what that is, you know what I mean, we have to be honest about Errol is more revolutionary for her game than one hundred percent. But yeah, eventually Reggie became a giant who could do some impossible shit, and that made it so that him and Cheryl weren't on the same competitive level. And that's okay. Do you think Cheryl ever gave it to him?
Just like one time at Thanksgiving when nobody's around, she's like, Hey, I think you're really good at basketball.
Oh, I think I think you're really really good at that. I think she gave that. Boy. Hell yeah, you can feel it on him. You can't feel it on him. I think he's spent his whole life just hoping she would say that. Yeah, and she never gave him even a taste of it. Well, there's still time, there's still time. They're both still with us. Yeah, God, that would be as far as Shannon's sharpest concerned. Yes, I don't believe
him to be a particularly altruistic guy. I think this is a person who who has largely been out for self for some time now. And I think I think while his brother probably he does see his brother as like a deserving person. I don't know that giving up the career that he had like somehow made for himself is a fair exchange for a Hall of fame.
Yeah, which it's like, who's I don't even who's on the Hall of Fame ballot. I don't even ever Like every Hall of Fame ballot, it's always like two guys, you know, like for a casual observer, like two guys, you know, and then five guys that they're like, oh, Apple Sauce Jenkins, the single bar.
Helmet, you know what I mean? Dicky Markinson, Yeah, technique.
And you're like, all right, I guess he was an innovative nose tackle in the sixties.
He's the first one to put stuff under his eyes. Yeah, yeah, I guess they called it coonan. Now you're ready to play football? Come here out about my rolling tied? And are they coonan? Isn't it fun? Just a peel white sport, Dick pel white sports. He will never catch us here. They used to feel, the black man can't even run this fast. Man, I wish I could have that.
Seems like a great time to be alive as a black man when we took over sports, Like, like to see that happen in your that would be great. It would almost be. It's because it's almost like, I policy is obviously what helps or whatever, but the social win, like black men taking over basketball. Do you think that did more than having a black president for the first time. I think I think that's why we don't we really should be saying Bill Russell is the greatest player of all time.
Because of that specific because of the giant leap that he forced a bunch of motherfuckers to make in regards to how they saw the sport and the controlling parties in it. I think you owe some shit to Bill Russell. That's fair, you know what I mean, Like, I think everybody else has been probably a more talented player right on the list, but I think nobody has had an impact on like the humanity of a greater group of people than Bill Russell, right.
Because what else outside of sports? And I guess entertainment, which is like you know that's so loaded in and of it. Yeah, but what other industry have we taken over.
In that way? I don't tennis maybe, but even tennis, but it's now give us the keys.
They just go like it's a quality of players, but it's not a quantity of players, And like I don't think tennis will ever it's not going to ever reflect back black culture in the way that like the NBA does. That's what I mean, is Chanta Francis Tiafo though let's go sire leone, baby be.
On talk.
From yeah.
Even the uh, even the way that Serena Williams continue to have like TIFFs with them about her clothing, about like her behavior on the court reflects how much it remains a white sport while your greatest is a black woman.
Same with same with golf, but basketball and football. It was like, no, this is it's just it's you just have to you just have to accept it.
And and if Bill Russell is our greatest pioneer, I was say Steph Curry is number two for I would say for light skimped the same level for no step forward, stop it, stop it. You're disgusting. I'm going to kill you. Give me two hundred dollars. That was insane. I think that has sound off in the comment has lifted.
This is crazy, as you're saying, has lifted light eyes stop it. Please sellow spirited men get out of you to a beautiful, angelic high.
This is that we may never come down from. Thank you, Thank you, Wardale. Anyways, let's listen to another. Let's do one more voice. Man.
That was that was that was a crazy I liked it. I like the audacity much like, because that's all I respect. You know that about me?
I made a bold choice. Yeah, and that's really what I like in life. Let's take a break. When we come back, we're gonna do one more voicemail, more David more like. My mother told me we need to have songs to get us away from drugs. Again. I agree. We really cut that out. We cut that short. Yeah, a little fun little about fitting All. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, getting off the smump, Get off that fin, yeah yeah yeah, stop pitching that take get off that fin. Oh. I like, yeah, look,
I just thought of that. We gotta get somebody in here. We gotta get somebody we gotta get We just make an anti fitting All song, almost identical to that one.
Yeah, yeah, I think it'd be awesome doing that thing that turned into that weird smokey Robinson.
That's exactly what I was going for. That's exactly what I was going for. We got different plans. Never mind, I thought we were in saying Okay, I don't think we can work on this together.
Okay, this next voicemail, I actually don't know what the subject line means, but I'm excited because it either is going to make no sense or the most sense.
Ma mam was sold me, Hey, guys, love.
It, okay, coming in hot. You don't like that. I don't know how I feel about it. I think the the passion at which this person saying and then directly went back into their regular speaking voice, yeah, troubles me slightly. Okay. I mean, but did you what you thought it was going to be a hinged man? I think I wanted him to be like that was crazy, right, and then you say, hey, uh, he just sort of was like normal, here we go, much like your Steph Curry take. I loved it, Okay, let's go show.
I'm calling it sober very much on my way to work, wishing I was not sober. Uh. My mama told me that about eighty five percent a coucie feels the same. Pause is therefore, this.
Guy must be protected at all cords. This man is dangerous. Yeah, and he's I don't even know if he's right or not. I'm just saying that already puts everything in jeopardy.
Eighty five percent, that's a lot. Same, that's a lot. That's you're really taking power away from Cucci. Yeah, from the almighty dollar. It's certainly what I value most.
Yeah, it is possible for things to actually be better than the majority of pussy. I eat food, and I'm sure you have all had an experience where you've ate some food and it was so good that you thought to yourself, this is better than some sex I have had.
I don't know if this man has had coucie. Uh is what I'm starting to say. Yeah, you think this is all a long time. I think that maybe he's not familiar with the heights that it can read. Yeah, he's like me, I get pussy all the time. Watch me leave a voicemail about it. Yeah, yeah, I like mac and cheese. All right, Yeah, I mac and cheese has gotten me sweaty, but I wasn't proud of it.
I've certainly had a lot of meals where I go like, damn, that shit, that shit was like sex, that shit felt whatever. I think. Where I disagree is that if I'm ever saying it's better than sex, it's because I just had sex. Yeah you know what I mean, Like, I know more sex is on the horizon. I'm not like eating mac and cheese and then being like, you know what, I don't need to fuck no more. I could just keep eating this.
It's also where you know the bar is It's like if you say that was better than sex, you're not saying it's better than the best sex you ever had.
You're saying it's better than the worst sex you have. Yeah, this is always always, Yeah, this is better than de giorno. Yeah yeah, yeah, this is this is better than junior year. I guess we knew what was going on, but this is like, now we're talking now to his point, he's saying, eighty five percent of it is just that is you know, it's just this standard sort of like, uh, not bad, not good.
I didn't understand. I thought he said eighty five percent of the couchies in the world felt the same.
I think that is what he's saying.
So I thought, okay, I thought what you were saying is that he's saying eighty five percent.
Of the reason koochie feels good. Oh no, no, no, I don't think he's putting a measurement on pussy objectively, right. I think he's saying, as a group, most pussy is the same. Kouchie respectfully is the same. But every once in a while you come across something miraculous. I would like to also hear the numbers if that's how he feels about booty. Oh interesting.
And also for a lot of women who think they have premium or top tier, that.
From a bad place. Yeah, coming from a bad place. I didn't like that. That was not good. I don't the way that this is a villain. Yeah, I think I think this. This felt like a peer reviewed science at first, and now it's just the man who has an issue with a few women who who made fun of his body or yeah. Yeah, I get it, because they'll eat you up sometimes. Yeah, and it hurts you. I've been hurt before him. I just think leaving the voicemail is not going to be the solution to the
pain that you're experiencing. But let's hear him. Yeah, let's let him finish. Because that top tier, that premium, we got to know what that means for you.
They often are very incorrect, and usually men can tell if a woman is in that top tier, not by actually engaging in sexual intercourse, but looking at the aura of men around her.
Pause. This man is he's speaking from from underground. Yeah, he's talking about auras. Yeah, what do you do? We can smell it in the wind that she's got the good pussy, because here's the thing, and yeah, this is like bullshit. If there was ever something to believe in the idea of like a diamond in the rough, it's kuchie.
If there was like a case for that idea of things being you don't think there's just some great kouchie at seven eleven that you just don't know about because she just married some man and like like like that's that's this is I don't like this guy. Also, I we're my friend. Because you're saying I was wrong, I'll say this. I think that this is such a cynical perspective of the world and that kouchi, much like anything, has the potential to grow and change and become whatever
it wants to be. If you have spent your life with trash pussy, that can end today. You tomorrow can wake up and say I got good kouchie called Docta that's where they do that. It is gonna take some work, but you can. You can face the world a good Couchi person despite much like you can face the world a good dick dude, even though you have a history
of leaving bad dick around town. I think that people have the potential for growth and change, and I think this sort of weird measurement of eighty five to fifteen and you don't know you thought you had it, but you don't have it presumes that Kouchi is strictly about the uh, the orifice, right, And that's not what good pussy is for me. No, it's the whole catalog. It's everything about it. It's the entire vibe. Your whole experience
with that person is good pussy. And I don't put a measurement on it strictly based off of the vagina exactly because we love women and this guy does not. But brother, we hope you keep listening. Yeah, no, keep going in because you're driving the dialogue.
We disagree with you, but that don't mean you got to go home. You keep kicking it. You keep hanging out and see if maybe you know you catch the vibe we got going on over here. Yeah, you thought you were playing Pete Nuncle. We play spades. That's you're gonna have to figure out what we got going But you're welcome to stay. Put that shitty deck away, But congratulations learning a harder game Yep, for sure, harder.
I hope that works out for you. Learning the more complicated it, it's harder and way less people want to play it. But I'm over here getting drunk, going new, so we don't need to finish. I would like to finish.
I e how men react to Rihanna who have been with her or Erica Badu. We all know that they have top tier without ever engaging. So just wanted to share that theory with you. Guys. I don't know if that's something you can work with. Yeah, here such a thing. Yeah, we can work with pusy because pussy is eighty feeling to say. Love y'all guys, take care.
Damn damn. Hey, first of all, man, we love you too, like a brother. Uh and and like a lot of brothers, we think, brother, you need help. Yeah, brother, it's not working good. You got to learn to love ladies beyond the some of their parts. That was a blind cell. Yeah, black insa. No, I knew what you do. I knew it wasn't a word I was familiar with, but that it had other words I recog. Yeah, it's usually just me combined and two shits. Yeah, what you got going on?
Tell the people where they can find you.
Cool guy jokes eighty seven on Instagram. My comedy special Birth of a Nation is coming out on eight hundred pound Gorilla on August ninth, so you can watch it for YouTube for free. So everybody didn't want to buy it from me, It's okay, I frik if you just go watch it for free ten times hell yeah, September ninth.
Did I say August ninth? It's September ninth. Either way, Yeah, go see it.
Do it.
If it was September ninth, correct the first time, he was right. And if it's not, bitch, you heard the change. September ninth, you bitch, you bitch, you bitch, you're bitch. You can follow me at Langston Kerman. I am going on tour. I'm going to be hitting a bunch of fucking cities on the Aspiring Deadbeat Dad Tour. In Aspiring dead Beat Tour is what it's called. I'm very proud
of the work. Darryl Sharp, who has done a lot of work for our show in the past, did the art for it, and I'm really excited to be going to your city September eighteenth. I'll be in Toronto one night only, and then September nineteenth and twentieth. I'm going to Philly, Baby, I want to hear y'all with your weird accents pull up so we could talk shit about your sports teams. Huh, that's all I really want to do. Get a HOGI I'm gonna get a big old samwich
and I'm gonna talk about you your weird down. Yeah. Come out Toronto, Philly September and then all the other dates you can find on my website at Langston Kerman dot com. Follow us at at my Mama told me pod on everything social media like subscribe, rate review, Give us a call at eight four four Little Moms, send us your thoughts on all things at my Mama told me at gmail dot com, we would love to hear your voices, and most importantly, watch Azz Bye Bitch. I
got brun guides. Ain't nobody got time for that, my mama told me. It is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcast.
Creet it and hosted by Langston Krekt, co hosted by David Bori. Executive produced by Will Farrell, Hansni and Olivia Akilon.
Co produced by Bee Wayne edited and engineered by Justin Koff, music by Nick Chambers, artwork by Doegonkree. You can now watch episodes My Mama Told Me on YouTube. Follow at My Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel