I Wet My Hair Back and Forth (with Jay Jurden)

throw stuff at the audience. Probably it's gonna be Mayhem. Lanston is gonna numb chuck. I'm bringing my gosh darn numb chucks. So get those tickets www dot Allegian Theater dot com. Backslash Shows Backslash My baba told me, Bam, do know, Justin Guarini, does that make sense? Now? Fuck you? Now, fuck you. You're not gonna You're not gonna do that.

That's crazy. What that's crazy, that's wild. We didn't even know we Justin Guarini had to come out as black halfway through the American Idol season so that we would even take about but Justin Guarini came out as black, and black women still said, but my baby Kelly. Black women still went, you know, I like Kelly. She's built like a real one. Black women were like, good for you, young man, move out of Kelly's way. She's got a big final number. That's nice for you. A little like

right now, I gotta see ms. Kelly clarkson racist money Field. I can't tell me. Yep, yep, yep, bang bang bang skeep skeep skeet. There it is there, it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me. The podcast will be died deep into the pockets of black conspiracy reads, and we finally work to prove that Mike Bibby is in fact going to be

the subject of season three of the Vound. He made a bunch of light skinned man tattooed that dime on their inner thighs and team dime, team dying, and then take slave little like captive pictures, not like field slaves, but like Russian girls slaves they all look like and they're taking pictures showing their lower back tattoos, saying team dying. This is a criminality that needs to be brought to justice. What's your personality of Mike Bibby. It's your cult leader

where you're like, that's the guy. Come on, I thought he was sick the whole time I thought this was I thought this was just some man to make a wish to get to play NBA basketball. He looks like he's slowly being a race, like he's barely he's barely there. The boy you don't worship that, you certainly don't tattoo it. He's really more of a shade than a man. Yeah,

these boys getting tattoos on their gooch for Mike Bibby. Man, Fuck no. Jason Williams was the coolest guy on that team, and Chris Webber was who you would you would admire the most. You don't go for fucking Mike Bibby. He's a third tier culte leader. I'll say that. I'm lank Stint Kerman, I'm David Boy and we're talking. We're hot into it and our guests today, I'm so excited for our guests today. He he did a live show, our only official live show of my Mama told Me, and

he was fucking phenomenal as he always is. He's so funny. You know him from the problem with John Stewart on Apple Plus TV? Is it plus? I? I can't remember Apple Plus? Uh? Is that the network? It's Apple related. You'll figure it out, you pieces of ship. He also, uh, he has amazing comedy clips all over Comedy Central. He's so funny. Please give it up for our guests. Mr j Jerdys, Hey, what's up? Hi? Yeah, we're good? How you I'm good? I mean the person I would follow

Chris Weber Vlondy Diva. Yeah, told me to do something I can do that. I'd easily do that. Now let me be clear. Are you all saying you would still follow Vloody even after the disaster of him being GM in Sacramento? You want to know something, then yes. And here he's running a quote not a business. Yeah he I'd still be able to get some fun stories from.

I mean, we gotta support Listen, we gotta support Eastern European skill players like it's listen he nugget fan, keep keep talking, keep yeah, Glanie Diva, Well before I would ever ever follow Mike Bibby. Also, was it was it jacked Mike Bibby or was it regular Mike be it was playing regular Mike Bibby. Let me I'm gonna drop. I'm gonna drop the picture of the chat. Also, I know this is my next question. So are they saying

that their dimes? Are they talking about assist? I think it was they were like team assists because they were assisting. I think I think they were the boys that assisted. The King of Assists was the implication of of the thing, Oh, that makes sense, like he's in the dimes and because definitely not, it's definitely not. Like it feels like they called him dime, do you know what I mean? Like like that was their fun little nickname for him because he was just so nasty with the dimes that that

he was team died, that they were team Dime. Hold on, Yeah, you gotta take a look at it. It's weird and we'll throw it up. We'll throw it up in the videos to everybody everybody. But also like in a hallway, it's not properly lit. Yeah. My only my only question is that, like when that kind of stuff comes out, what do you respond with, Like, you know, like the want Dix and stuff is coming out now, like this is like weird stuff That's what I'm saying. You need

a documentary. It looks like a back page listing. You can't just you can't just look at this picture in three knowing what we know about about histories of of fucking ax Coults and weird uh control of other people and not look at this team Dime shouldn't go something. The funk was up here. That's how I felt when I read the article and on four I was like,

this is weird. Yeah, this, this is this is like a half step away from when B two K or or no not B two K. Yeah, they had that that I MX had to take that that naked picture together. That that's before all the Chris Stokes stuff. Oh they were doing that back when they were just being abused by a different man. This is I thought that was Chris Stokes that was behind the camera on that one. But I know I thought Chris Stokes was like Marcus Houston's age, like he was abusing ras B and the

other and little Fitz because they were younger. This can I say something. Yeah, a lot of people was saying that there's not actually enough representation. I would say when it comes to black cult leaders and older black men taking advantage of young black people, and I want to say good on them, not for touching the boys, not for not for grooming the boys, but for breaking with the stereotype. There's not a ton of it. It's like Africa, Bambada who else mbada. We don't like to talk about it.

I don't. We don't like whoa, I mean who okay, we already sending the email, then sending the email that okay. But this is also this is like a sub my mama told me because a lot of black parents would be like, you know, those white those older white men be touching you, but older niggas be touching folks too all the time. I mean, it's really equality. It really

speaks to we are five minutes in. Yeah, I do think it really speaks to a narration of black women working really hard to protect their own even in the face of fucking uh raping children. It truly was like them. Yeah. I didn't have to say it. No, I put the cream cheese on and I didn't spread a bit, you know what I mean, It just it just sat where

it's sat. And I apologize to everybody. But but the point being, I think it's just women being like, well, not ours, but men be doing stuff white men watch out, and it's like tell me everything, ma'am right. I think I don't know if I'm gonna put this on women. I think I'm more acknowledging their than I am putting it on them as blame. But but sure make me a monster, David makes me. Yeah, it's not to me. Here's the thing, it's not that it's it's not that

like it was. It was like the black community's fault for not saying that like molestation existed. I truly think it was like it was moved from priority number one to like priority number three for them because it was like racism, misogyny, ship, who I leave with the kids? The houses, the houses on fire, There's a lot of stuff you gotta save. Somebody has to be left with the kids. Therefore that I'm not the leader of the They're just learning to dance. This is motherfucker makes music

that's perfect to poplock, dude, we examine this anymore. I also I would also argue that like head coaches, basketball coaches, sports figures. Since we're talking about Mike Bibby and I brought up the wand Dixon thing, that's a particular kind of trust and brotherhood and like kind of paternal order. Were like you you are as a as a single mother, as a mom, you would also be like, I don't need if that's you know, someone's teaching these boys how

to be men. Yeah, I know. I don't think you don't remember to think that the blind Side went bad? Wow wowka Michael or yeah great, But you don't think there was like five times where they were just that kid. Okay, now you say kid, and that's what makes it bad. But that is the part that makes it back. But if it's just a white Southern couple who wants to to cook, who wants to be cooked by a larger that's just man with sec dreams. That's just And I said, as a person spent a lot of time in as Fer,

Mississippi and tell school's Alabama. Baby, you know, oh they just kind of a nice deal. All I'm saying it was just like hey, every now and did and I got to go upstairs watch we will talk about it downstairs. The bad part is the fetishism and the dehumanization of black bodies. The good part is did he get a hot meal? Did you have gas? I'm starting Clemson. Listen, somebody had to get them through that red shirt year. That's all I'm saying. As a you end up starting

at liveing a university. If you're out there and uh and you're being sued, the law offices of Jordan and Bory are here to represent you with what I would argue is uh is real sound long? You know, they seem to be coming at you with real that's legal. That's legal. You guys, you move somebody who's your wife's Yeah, okay, So this so the mic baby stuff happening in Arizona kind of makes it seem a little bit more like it was like, you know when people I'll drink off

kind of around the same area. He know, I heard, yeah you go in the woods and once again another mama, once a yeah, another My mama told me that my mama didn't tell me my friends. Mama told me it's the whole discrepancy between like, groups of young white boys will jerk off together groups of young black boys were just like, we'll pass the porn around and will you be like, oh, make sure you go to page blah blah blah in the book. We also be like, man,

I already see your dick. I've seen your dick enough. Yeah. I think there's a never jerked off with nobody, never even I never even was asked to be completely honest saying I was when I said that. When I said that, I fully expected y'all to be like, what the fund is wrong with you? You didn't you know what I mean? It's truly. I think it's like sometimes people are very

bored in suburban communities. I think there's also like a level of exploration of a queerness, but with never having to state that outright, because like you kind of you want to know where people measure up if you've never been locking, you've never been a shower situation, it's like that you know what black you know what black people and I won't say all black people, but what black kids did in my school instead of that, like you would nut check people like yeah yeah yeah, or even

like if someone ever bent down to pick something up, you go and like pretend like you're getting sloppy toppy from them, like we those were those. But That's what I'm saying is that we engaged in a communal group sexualized activity that wasn't as explicit, right, It was there is something that was very juvenile about that. Well, I mean, but also like getting together and jerking off. This also seems damn, I'm blowing up two phones over here. Might

maybe like, hey, they wash your mouth directly. It took him a long time because those big, clunky muscles making hard, but he finally found you. Yeah, I feel like we used to. We used to walk around the entire school like slapping each other on the ass as hard as we possibly could. I think that was like a bit that we would do. If like, you're talking to a girl and then I would like come up and like, yeah, slap you real hard and you scream out in front

of a lady. Okay, there was one This comes from my high school. There was one story. I wouldn't there when it happened, but we were people smacking ass is a lot a lot of people played smacking. Ask someone smacked another football's players and his response was, oh, that was kind of soft. Oh okay, yeah, I didn't expect that ass to be that solved. You got a smooth but yeah, that was when that happened. Everyone was like, what's going on that? I will say. Also, we had

an extremely an extremely Progressive girls basketball team. We had like two or three state championships. Tons of out studs while we were there. Oh, I mean, like I'm talking about studs going to prim face. But I will say, I will say it seems like you can be a stud if you're a champion, do you know what I mean? Like, even in the era of major homophobia and violence against you know, lesbians and gay men alike, if you're a champion, you're good. Yeah. The only way you can beat homophobias

if you also beat Callaway, that's it. Okay, win state and then you get to eat couchie. Look, you gotta celebrate. How you celebrate. That's not for me to decide. Yeah, No, whatever you want to do with that trophy, that's business. But but you ain't doing it with a second place trophy. And I'll tell you that much. All right, We we can't keep fooling around this is this is too much silly. Before we've even gotten to the thing. You came to

us Jay with a conspiracy theory. I guess conspiracy theory is probably a more technical definition for what this is, although for I think it had almost it borders on the like old wives tale energy If that makes sense. It has like old wives tail moon rising inside of this ship. But you said, my mama told you love that one, just old wife tale. He meant tail in the in the in the colloquial thing. I understand black

tail magazine. Yeah, you were talking about as I got it, alright, not not the whole, but just I know boy pretty well you're talking about the whole, the entire catalog. All right. Well, you said, my mama told me you will catch a bad cold if your hair is wet. Yes, So I think that this is they're multiple prongs to this. So first of all, it deals with black mothers never wanting their black children to look like white children in public.

So you don't ever want your child to have wet hair outside Like that's when a black mom does not want you to be outside with your hair wet. It just don't want it. Even at the pool, they'll like dry your hair off, Like I'm going back in. This is a game? Is this the thought exercise? But let's go. So that's the first thing. The second thing is that I'm from Mississippi, like southern and this kind of cross culture. Southern people truly think that that cold air is poisonous

and the air at night is poisonous. They were like wrap up babies to protect them from the night air, the same air five hours ago. Sure, but they'll be like that night air. I don't want to get on this baby. It's just directly blowing. It's also the calmest night air in the country right in Chicago. Would makes sense to me, there was there was an entire show call in the heat of the night. Yeah, I honestly think the air turns off in Mississippi after a certain hours.

And the and the third thing is like I think people thinking that cold air and cold hair leads to death is truly connected to William Henry Harrison. Now it's it's he's a president who apparently didn't wear a coat or it was kind of wet on his inauguration day and then he died a few days later. But here's the thing. He also was an old white man in the eight hundreds. That is never just taken into account.

That's what I'm so like, all these things combined so that like black mothers would be like make sure you've got some in your head, make sure you make sure you're hair and wet. And there's like kind of like an additional part of it, where like you also as a little black boy, we I couldn't grow my hair out. I think I didn't. I'm gonta able to grow my hair until you guys weren't allowed to grow your hair cut. I didn't have the same haircut since I've had haircuts

lengthsting lengthting. Your privilege is showing right. I used to have to get the even stephen one even all over or I can get it. I just got it. I just wouldn't got it. I can get it. I could get like a fade, but even that was like what you trying to? You know? That's see I think well if I made I think it was that my mom, while while at points was a single mom, she always had a like a stepdad like I always there was.

She was always remarried to someone and at that point she was excited for us to have bonding time, which meant that like, I didn't have a mother in a barbershop dictating my hair. I had. I had a nigga who who didn't really give a fuck what my hair looked like dictating it. So I was like I want this and he was like yeah. The boys they want that I got to grow up. I think I got to grow like some modicum of an afro for a little bit, and then my grades start to dip and

my mom instantly connected to all your brain cells. It's growing out your damn scout. It was. Do you understand the punishment? Okay, I don't. I never want to sensationalize things as a comedian, but truly, that's like a horror scene for so many people of other races, is being forcibly shaved. Yeah right, that's like what happened. That's like what happened to Anne Hathaway's character in lay Miss, and she was the institute dying of tuberculosis, you know what

I'm saying. And that was the worst thing that was happening to her. That's what I was going through. That was punishment was to say it happened in that reformer's character and beefa Vendela that you know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, but it just happens in a little Black Boys every two weeks. Yeah, Well, you should have snitched, is I think the argument here. I think you should have told on your mother and then you could have gone to a nice group home where they'll never shade imposed to

call the cop with the same hipcut as me. Look at me, I look like a fool. I don't know about you, but I was. I was threatened with the cops all the time. I got a lot of call the cops in call that was that was my call, CBS. Black disciplinarian is so aware of response time. Yeah, oh, sure of what they can get away with before somebody shows like. That's the one part of racism they can leverage. They go, they go come here. Okay, you think you think they're gonna come here and then be able to

figure it out from your little inarticulate ass English. You're gonna be able to explain hip what's happening to you? Then he's not gonna give up. Just a black mom saying, who do you think they'll believe? Yea, I have a job, all right. You're in that weird not cute stage where your teeth are killed in who are you gonna eleven years old? Haven't grown unto your nose yet? A matter of fact, take that plaeum food off? Is your mom becoming bill? O'Reilly? That Albert and the gang? What kinds

of gang? Oh man? That was the weirdest era of Foo. You know what, I wrote it all the way to the end. Were you did you have some did you write it all the way to like the Harlem Globe trotters. Fooboo was big dog, Yeah, that's whoa. I went to Muhammad Ali Fubool got a Mark Echo shirt on right now, And you know what's fucked up is that's what I switched to after I made it past Platinum Foboo was. I was like, no, I'm an Echo man now. And white guys they co opted that too quick. Also, that

man was making shirts we really couldn't wash. R was swayed. We Yeah, we didn't have the technology back then. You would look bugged out so fast. Fucking Echo man, I always I always assumed you were like a Mecca man, but maybe I wore Mecca too. I wore Mecca too, but but not Mecca was more expensive at the time. Was once Platinum Fuboo and and fucking Echo and and

Sean John. All of those could be founded at like a value city or goddamn Marshals And yeah, you remember when you would go to Marshall's and you'd find like the Sean John and you'd be like, yeah, I got you. Look around like this. This can't be that defective. I actually don't need the matching bloor pants, but this jacket going. Yeah, you're away with a bunch of this ship. If you have the jacket, the pants are assumed to be at home. I also remember when Denham became so shiny, Yeah, shiny

Denham like hot boys there? Did you ever overshoot the shiny Denham? I got my mom to buy me some. I did, I think, And if I couldn't, because I identify with this so much, I think, if I could articulate what I think the mistake is is that when you are a kid who's not allowed to buy shiny Denham and you only get one pair of shiny dinnam pants, you think you have to get the shiniest Denham possible, And the reality is what you want is just that

that dark Denham with shine too. You want to shine because I came out I had no tops for it. Yeah what am I gonna wear on top of the shiny fucking You're sitting there with silver fucking pants on no options on the bus, worried, worried about what's gonna happen? When I get off. This was a mistake, but I can't tell anyone. The ship was damn the platinum. It was like I can't I closed my eyes and I see it. I've spent twenty minutes putting a crease in this.

I can't walk away from what this is. The Other part is, man, I wore it this week while yeah, yeah, I hit him with it though I had it on. That was that was the hardest part about pants was like, damn if I hit it on Monday, it is Thursday. Crazy. That nuts, I'm crazy. My T shirt was long. Maybe they didn't see which one disease words and because like I mean, as when you know people are gonna notice, you always go I gotta watch the dry in my house.

You ain't gonna watch the d you have something. Yeah, like listen, I want you guys to know I'm not without means. I just don't you know what. I needed a block schedule. That's not that, that is it. I used to blame it on being a child of divorce. I was at my mom's Yeah, I was at my mom's crib, so I had to and we didn't have no other outfits, so I had to double up. You

know what I mean. But what the other thing that would happen is that like, so I had like a pair of j bows and like, if if you have you like you're once you get any sort of pants to stand out. So I had like my red straps on my bows. You have the red straps. But guess

what I wore him that week. I can't do it against it's too memorable because then because the first day it was gonna be like, what you just need one and that's one fucking person to be like, hey, didn't you have those like and that person that they always know when it's the quietest in the and the most people are around, and the way I remember in junior high because I went to a crazy junior high and

then a very white high school. I remember in junior high a couple of kids being dubbed like jabot kids. But you know what I'm saying, like, oh, you know he's always got those dusty ass green jabots on. It's like that's a that's a faith. There was a pair of Fuboo sweatpants that I wore often enough that that

my friend Josh Miller came up to me. It was like, hey, nigga's are still talking about how much you wear them paints and then I never I like, was wearing them like, god damn every other day probably, And then he was like, hey, bro, they're talking about it. I was like, yeah, yeah, no, it was bad. What a good friend friend. Josh was a hero at that time. Yeah. No. And to be honest, I don't know that he wasn't laughing in my face when he told me, but he told me not in

front of everyone. And that's where that he's kicks. Yeah. So Jay and and God have we drifted on this work? Jay, could you tell us before we go to break? Could you tell us a little bit about how much you believe because your energy is giving off you, you're not bought into your conspiracy theory. But is there any chance that you do, in fact believe in this cold hair leads to our wet hair rather leads to colds theory. I I think that germs lead to cold. I think

lead the cold. I think, but I have to say it was again pertaining to the news over the past six months. As a black person in New York who sometimes in Brooklyn, I have to say this plainly and explicitly. I think viruses lead to disease. I think germs lead to disease, various infections, pathoges and whatnot. I don't think wet hair leads to disease. I think wet hair leads to coldness, to you feeling a bit cold, because you

can feel a bit colder. I think that people associate a lot of stuff with the cold because it's going on around the same time, and they'll be like, oh, I'm cold, you know people, people really think I'm cold.

Now I'm gonna have a cold, and I'm like, no, you're you're temperature wise, you're cold, yeah, with you know, but your body, but your heart, my heart, because man, I just I lived in Washington and sometimes you'd be out day in the cold, all all rainy and ship like that, running around, and then you would get home and that you would be sniffling like I don't know, I don't, I don't. I don't think it's just cold air. But I think a day spent wet will fuck you up.

I don't like being cold and wet. I think being cold and wet is the worst combinations. It's one of the few things that could break me, Like I will give up secrets. Okay, you get the bottom of my pants wet. I'll tell you all if I get water in my socks, I get worder my socks. Oh my god, I'm telling I'm telling everybody, I'm gunning if I get water in my socks. I got water in my socks today walking home from the barbershop, and it was pretty bad. No,

I'm he didn't. You're not You didn't sit through that. No, No, I was walking home so I had to get home first. For sure. Let's get French foot. Now, wet leads the Okay, so that so you okay, So that's the star. So you're like, we're like head, absolutely not your I'm saying like, okay, I'm saying the moisture in a foot, if maintained in the swampy environment, will lead to athletes foot or like a rash. Okay, yeah, in Vietnam, I had clean so this is it wasn't crazy like that. It wasn't my

feet are clean, clean socks on. I just stepped in upon a snow puddle and it was cold for about fifteen blocks. It wasn't that. Listen listeners at home, David just held up his foot and it is a rich green. It is tough to look at thisp yoga and I'll be able to pull my foot up and show you it's good. So like this, stop taking away black people's feet, instill an intificial Alright, we're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more j jur and more My Mama

told me. Yea, why welcome back to My Mama told me the podcast where we are currently discussing whether or not cold makes you sick, and it's it's a divided house, specifically because we've proven wet foot, hoping to bring it up include wet hair. What wet foot has been? Uh, what seems like it seems like it's more widely believed. I'm still on the fence on wet foot, but you two see foot. I think I think wet foot is is a little more complicated than we're making it seem.

But that said, wet hair is divided Ja Ja saying nay, this is foolish and and and just old wives tales from from black mama's and maybe being like my black mom ain't never wrong. I believe No, I don't. I would have to text her. I don't even know what her her pace on is because my mom is not a water mom at all. Like she made sure I had swimming lessons, but I don't think I've even seen my mom in a hot to she does, she does?

She say there is something also too. I think Black people of a certain age they also just don't like to get wet in general. So this is another aspect that we need to investigate. I'm not gonna say it's because of civil rights hoses, but I'm not gonna say it's not not because of civil rights hoses. I mean it goes far though, because I'm African right and people said corner people might try specifically they say, we're afraid

of water. Wow, that's like y'all weakness, because we yeah, y'all are like those aliens and we're strong, proud people. But a couple of water your face is gonna sizzle. That's what it's like. I have I have. I have not to brag. I got some property in Africa, needing I need my cousin or somebody to come out and look at it. And Corno people are afraid of water. So it's like only a few people in my family are willing to go out and look at damn that's

wild on the podcast. Now, it's truly. If you're trying to buy property and Siri Leone go crazy, I'm gonna know funck buy. I'm gonna show up there with six super suakers and uh and colonize that motherfucker. You know what I mean? You wanna be you wanna be the Columbus. No, it's just cornal people. The other people, Timmy and Mende and everybody man, everybody else is not afraid of. It's just hard people. Hey, y'all gotta have a little section.

And guess who's about to become the king of Kno Town. They're not. They're not the fire nation. You can't like, I know, because that means they ain't gonna be able to fight back. I'm about to bust their ass well super soakers like okay, but like you know, when I talk about harriget wet, that's like that's like truly like a black trigger for a number of reasons, like it returns. But don't you feel like for women more so than men? Yeah, because we're in really rocking conks the way we used to.

No one on the podcast has a slick back leg. Get one. I will say I will say that is the dream is to get to an age where I decided to just change direction on my air. This man wants to know is karate and rocket conk. That's just come. This is the funny. Actually very is actually very Jermain

because you know who does brush your ship back? T J. Holmes, Come on and I'll say this, that's a handsome motherfucker who deserves no. I'm joking, but but now I think he looked cool before he started acting up with that white lady. He was man brushing your hair back? That is it's the craziest ship Williams and then everybody else. Yeah, you can't just be doing that the wild things. Man.

I'm gonna be real with you, to be that guy when the time comes, I'm going backwards and I'm not even going But how straight is your hair if you grow it up, if I grow it out, it's it's very curly. It's like but it's like but it's is it is it like? You know? You know what I fucking said and not it's not. It's not a number and a letter. It's not tight little coils. It is like big like it is you know, it's somewhere in the spectrum of like, uh, who's the right, Uh, it's

it's Corbin. What's his name, Corbin Blue. It's gonna, it's gonna Corby Blue. You know what I mean. Well, let's let's unpack this officially, right, because because the conspiracy theory is still on the table, and and I did some research, so let's just say this. I'm gonna be as forward about this as possible. According to nearly everything I've read, having wet hair does not, in fact, in any way cause you to catch a cold or make you more sick. Yeah,

but what internet? On the white man's Internet? That's you, that's your first problem. Yeah, this is unfortunately, this is still white man's Internet that I'm I'm reciting back to you. So it does have itswalts. But yeah, you's got to use one of those b eads. And asked Rio you gotta do you mean that you got your bean? Um how it was supposed to locate you? Well? So, so, because that's a movie all about black people's hair again with all the theme here's okay, the theme of Wakonda Forever. Yeah,

and are we doing this because I have some feelings. Listen, I'm listening. I'm gonna let you. I'm gonna let you kick it off and then and then I'll weigh in depending on the circumstances. Oh okay, well this is what I can say. I love this source material. I ultimately enjoyed the film. But it is funny that that a stereotype that has been leveraged against us so much was a central plot point to the movie. It was I haven't talked about it. I have a joke about it.

You could just swim. That's how you defeat the Wakonda. You just he just swimming in. And they were like, what this magic fun that bro Come on? That's all he did? Uh gud. He also flew into He flew and he came in with all his swimmers. And that was what happened the first time. And here's what I'll say. I think they worked the hardest on that film, on that monologue, and then they they figured out the rest, you know what I mean, the black panther for a while. Wow.

Now see here's something. Some people in my life have recently seen the first one and they were like, did I need to see other stuff? And I was like, maybe, I don't know. It was we were we were swept up in the moment. Don't get mad. Just watch it the way I watched it with my eyes from back then. I can't. I'm I'm too African. The whole movie I watched, they had this magic rock that made them better than

the rest of the Africans. And they kept being like, but if we didn't have this rock, then we'd be like the rest of them. I'm the rest of them. Pretty good. Guy guy did not really investigate that because I was caught up in the diaspora part of it. But that isn't say that they were so close that the proximity is wild. It's crazy. Now they weren't. They weren't being very kind. Uh. The the wa condins and I'm saying, go see the Woman King. That's all I got for The Woman King was good. I enjoyed it.

A lot of a lot of good karate kicks. But but like karate, just we're doing something similar. I don't know you just I love any any martial art being described as karate. Oh, it's a catch all term for sure. I certainly don't think I'm going to do the research to figure out what your respective martial art is like karate. You do karate. Yeah, when Langston becomes a man of a certain age who starts coming his hair back, he's gonna be a karate man. Chucks on him. Right now,

there's Numchucks right there. J Jordan's uh, I am, I'm not lying to you all. I'm going to I'm going to brush my hair back, I'm going to buy a nice g and I'm going to drink who long like I don't. I don't think that this is this is This is just a reminder to all the listeners. If we do hit one thousand subs on the YouTube, Lankston

does have to drop that that numb chuck video. Well, I'm glad you brought this up because because we know and I'm sorry to do this in the middle of of our riveting conversation Jay, but but it's worth noting that before you got on today, Bory, I I should give you some backstory. I have numb chucks, I've never learned to use them, and I promised, based off of bory suggestion, that that a thousand subscribers for our YouTube channel, I would give a a nunchuck tutorial to all the

viewers that wish to see that. BORI recently admitted hours ago that he bought a harmonica during pandemic expecting to learn to play harmonica, and has not yet even cracked the box on his harmonica. And we are now I've opened it. It's open, it's been open. None of this matters because we are now instituting that at two thousand subscribers, BORI will have to give a harmonica tutorial to those same viewers and obviously doubled in size. I think here's

here's here's what I like about this. I think I think David actually has the easier, easier thing to do. Well, here's the trip harmonica. It's just like, as long as you can kind of stay in one place and then take it away and then be like with what have a go up here here and he's playing the scale right right right, that's true. None are actually more dangerous. I think. Also, you're not gonna get my dick with

this harmonica. There's no doing the harmonica, so you can take it off single blues lyrics and be like I'm stuck in jail. You can, It's very yeah, yeah, well let me that's a good point. I can, I can, I can, and I can talk a lot. I can talk a lot. Yeah, let me be clear, there's gonna be no bb king this bad boy. I'm BBQ. Come man, let me do you got to do this ship right, You're gonna give it. You're gonna blues traveler. Harmonica is whatever.

That's that's not happen as that. No, that I don't have. My man had a band, the leader of harmonicas he was like he was like a harmonica b depo. I can't do that, know, um, it ain't stay on me. He had he had so many I bet he called the monica's. He didn't even say to read me my monica, give me my money, have time for that first syllable. It would get in the way. You're getting the way

of happy to play. Okay, let's let's unpack a little bit more of this research because I want to I want to make this clear for our listeners at home as to why the cold doesn't actually do anything. To your point, Ja, it doesn't do anything in terms of catching sickness. Uh. The only real cause of a cold is being exposed to the virus. No matter the circumstances, temperature as it or or temperature is often suggested, right, it truly makes no difference if you have the germs

in your body. And this is what they say. The reason that more people get sick actually during the winter months is because you are closer together by being inside huddling up from the cold and the wet, not because the cold and the wet has triggered anything that sounds kind of hot, that sounds sexual. It does sound sexy. Hey, it's all that winter boning that everybody's doing that apparently is getting people sick. And and here's the thing. You

can always warm up fast enough. Like that's the other thing that what's the incubation time if it actually comes from the temperature, because once you get in, if you heat up in the would it go away? Well? I always I always assume though this is the idea of you get out and you just don't ever dry your hair and you just go right if you just from the pool to the towel, right, And I can't say have something crazy, can't say have some crazy s I did it a few days ago. No, No, I washed

my hair, dried it off a little bit. It was still damp. When I went outside, it was like a nice fifty degree day in New York. Did what happened to me. I'm good and you did you enjoy the feeling? Was it like a good feeling? It is when your hair is wet in public, there is a sense of power and privilege it. I mean. The thing also is that like so many people, they don't they don't they don't like, they don't know I got hanged up. They don't know nothing. So when your hair is wet, it's

moving a little bit. Also, black people's hair absorbs moisture so fast that when it's when your hair is actually moisturized, you were like, whose hair is this? Because it feels like wet? You go, who is this? This ain't me where? This ain't where I'm at all the time. Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna that's what Actually, because I'm contrary to what the ring light he's doing, I'm very much brown skin. But like with that hair, blow you up. That's good.

With the hair I was that morning, it was bad. Yeah. Even as I was looking this up, there actually came another theory, And what you guys are saying sort of reminds me of it. Where uh, a bunch of people apparently believe that going to bed with wet hair can cause you to get a cold. And that's what I thought, was like, I, why would you ever go to bed with a wet head? Like that seems fucking off your films? Yeah,

I don't people do it. I know some people will do a conditioning treatment cat sure, but that's so it's so wet. But I mean it's intentionally wet, and then it's so wrapped that it sort of becomes like a non factor, you know what I mean, Like it's not like you're sitting wet and exposed to elements inside of that that situation. I think that I think that this is very much a story about black hair. Mm hmm, that's it. That's what I said when I saw what

kind of faver that's the person? This is very much a story about black This is Matthew Cherry's black hair. I love Cinematic Universe's run thing this movie we could use. That's a little monica. Oh man, is it? Truly? It's weird.

So that it goes on to say that because I wanted to look up some of the origin of this, it's said that this may have been rooted and no one knows exactly where it comes from, certainly, but they said it may be rooted from World Ward one, when scientists concluded that soldiers who slept in wet trenches were more likely to catch colds and soldiers who slept in dry barracks, which feels like you're skipping over a lot of the elements in their wet The fact that they

were sleeping on top of each other in confining and bleeding each other's mouth, that's sure. Yeah, it was bad for your feet, but it wasn't the reason you were coughing as much as it was everything else. Yeah, I think it's truly I think it's truly conflation versus causation. I think it's correlation versus causation. And people germ theory is still younger than this, than hair, than people being like I'm cold, people can go I feel cold, and

now I feel sick. I know. It's I mean, it took how long for us to be able to look at any sort of like you know, organisms under microscope? Yeah, I mean I feel like doctors started washing their hands in like nine six. It's like they just smoke a cigarette.

People start washing their hands until three years ago, right, Yeah, And we know that by all the deaths that accumulated in the early part of this Bad Boy, But truly it it's wild how little of our science is in any way sort of like ancient, right, we don't have any ancient learnings. All of this ship is brand new to us. There was okay, now just so I can't we can't, like David will push back on this. Black people, Indigenous people, a number of people kind of like new

how to get dirt off of the body. They knew they were getting dirt off, they didn't know they were also getting germs off. So they just knew that. Like when like the more's going to Spain and being like, what's what's what's happening? Y'all don't know, Yeah, you don't have you don't like cleaning back. But because like I don't know you dirty, dirty, dirty Spanish people, is that

what we're doing? What I'm in dirty dan years because I know a lot of people gonna be like, I'm not dirt, gonna be like no dirty, Like four hundreds spending Europe was stinky. Yeah, your whole armada stink. Yeah, you had the boats, but you also had the funk. And that that's uh funk is wow. I love funk. Being both an insult and a compliment. Truly the best. Yeah, we do it. We we do good work in the black community. City with my God in the seventies saying

something has some fun. Yeah, this funky motherfucker. Goddamn that that. Yeah, imagine someone that means someone played bass so well that everyone's like that ship but in a good way, right, imagine being so musty from to step in. It's like it's some fun. Yeah, I mean, but then there's also people like, I don't I bet boots he didn't smell great? Yeah, George God, damn, yeah no, they like, yeah, it was

all synthetic fibers, they didn't breathe. Yeah, and you're up all night doing Heroin and ship you're yeah, or because imagine imagine all the comics that y'all know that are a little musty when they get off stage. Yeah, now by two hours and you're actually working two hours, actually working and dancing. I don't even want to get within a hundred feet of James Brown. Yeah, there's a video that, uh that that's always feel comfortable sat James Brown smells man, Oh,

come on, we gotta be honest, there's that video. I know what you're saying, you know the video where he's sweating and he like comes into frame, It's like, yeah, he's like barely he can barely keep his eyes open because he's been going so hard on whatever fucking song he's doing. There's no way he smelled good in that video. He's in a red jumpsuit. Yes, it's not possible for him to have smelled like anything but asshole. And that's

part of the magic of the performance. I mean, if you put on it, if you put on a jumpsuit, it's just a countdown till when your nuts started thinking you got, you got, you got maybe two and a half hours before they started thinking the minute you realize you're gonna have to put on the jumpsuit. Yeah, once your your pleas. Eddie Murphy could not funk after Delirious. He had to go home and watch first and then fun. There's no way he just unzipped and let a lady

smell whatever was underneath that. Oh my god. Yeah. And and I will say he did it twice. You know, he was like, man, I would be stinky again. No, Here's what I think happened is the second time he was like, hey, man, make the leather more breathable this time, not realizing that that that's not possible, and it was as breathable as it could be, and he just got a funky dick again. I always would worry about his

nipples in those outfits. Oh, hot leather nipples is probably not good for the first time a couple of weeks ago, and that's not pleasant. Don't if you get the wrong just the wrong amount of like wool on anything and you're not wearing like a like a tank top underneath like an undershirt, and you start all day. No, that's why you have to wear under tank For me, that's why were tanktops is to spare my nipples. Yeah, wild feeling.

I didn't mesh fux my nipples up real bad. And I I always wondered why NBA players are always wearing those tank tops underneath them like it's the same size boys, it's not hotting anything. It's like, oh no, they're just making their nipples not up. Yeah, that would imagine having that that's up there with Paul Pierce having a booboo. Yeah, somebody clutches their chest then they pretend to have a heart attack, but it's just a bloody nipple. I've done it.

I've done the thing where I just wore like a basketball jersey outside with nothing on underneath. And that's It's like it's a get short that logos gets to rubbing. Man, you gotta go back to the house. Yeah. Man, Well this really devolved into some bullshit right at the end. I feel good about it. Otherwise i'd say i'd say perfect episode. I think we nailed it. Yeah, I feel good. Jay. Could you tell the people at home where they can find you on? What cool should you have going on? Uh?

You can find me on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok. All this stuff that we're forced to do to exist in this new digital content age that is neither good nor bad, but we should at least be aware of it because we are being turned into just lines of code for bigger companies. Uh. So I'm there. I'm on Jay Jordan's I'm the only person named that, so you can find me. There's also if you watch the Problem with John Stewart, I'm on a couple of episodes. Maybe watch those. Uh,

and that's it. Yeah, and I have shows around the country, So yeah, that's it. Oh yeah, followed juh follow his little bit of code that that's out there, that we're all forced to be a part of. Bory. You want to tell the people where they can find you? Uh cool guy eight jokes eighties seven on Instagram. Uh. January I'll be at the Newberry and Great Falls, Montana, March six, Rooster te Feathers in Sunnyvale, California. March thirty one through

April one. The Dallas Comedy Club, Dallas, Texas and touring. February seven, team come to High Note Comedy in Denver. We got Brittany Carney and uh, you know. February six, teams come out and see me and Lanston live at the Allegia. Oh, hell yeah, I love Britney Garney. Yeah yeah, we got good stuff going on. Hell yeah. And and like like Bory said, fucking live show February six. We've got some amazing comedians coming out. We're gonna have some games,

We're gonna throw out some prizes. Maybe I don't know, I'm I'm making up ship, but come funk around with us. We can give some prizes, you know, fuckings, oh ship. Yeah, Bori's brother is gonna do a flip and uh and yeah, come check us out and if you want to follow me. You can follow me at Langston Kerman on all platforms, and if you want to send us your own conspiracy theories, your own drops, your own haunting suggestions about what happened to to other people's nipples, please send them to my

Mama pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you. Okay, that's it. Bye, bitch, qual mass On racist who mostly money actually stuff I can't tell me