I Wet My Hair Back and Forth (with Jay Jurden) RE-RELEASE

Do you know, Justin Guarini, does that make sense? Now?

Fuck you, now, fuck you. We're not gonna We're not gonna do that. That's crazy. That's crazy, that's wild. We didn't even know we Justin Guarini had to come out as black halfway through the American Idol season so that we.

Would even take about bunnet warm. Justin Guarini came out as black, and black women still said, but my baby Kelly. Black women still went, you know, like Kelly, she's built like a real one.

Black women were like, good for you, young man, move out of Kelly's way. She's got a big final number.

That's nice for you. Look like bright now, yeah, good little miss Kelly Clarkson.

Chip singer.

Racist the.

Money turkey stuff. Can't tell me.

Yup yup, yup bang bang bang skeep skeep skeet.

There it is there, it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.

The podcast will be dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy.

Means, and we finally worked to prove that Mike Bibbi is in fact going to be the subject of season three of the Vown he made a bunch of light skinned men tattooed the dime on their inner thighs.

Ten team dime, team.

Dime, and then take slave little like captives pictures, not like field slaves, but like Russian girls like.

Yeah, they all look like they got taken in.

And they're taking pictures showing their lower back tattoos.

Same team, dyme. This is a criminality that needs to be brought to justice.

What's your personality of Mike Bibby? Is your cult leader where you're like, that's the guy?

Come on, I thought he was sick the whole time I thought this was I thought this was just some man's make a wish to get to play NBA basketball.

He looks like he's slowly being erased, like.

He's barely he's barely there. The boy you don't worship that you certainly don't tattoo it.

He's really more of a shade than a man.

Yeah, these boys getting tattoos on their goots for Mike Bibby. Man, Fuck no. James John Jason Williams was the coolest guy on that team, and Chris Webber was who you would you would admire the most. You don't go for fucking Mike Bibby.

He's to your cult leader. I'll say that.

I'm Langston Kerman, I'm David Boy and we're talking. We're hot into it and our guests today, I'm so excited for our guests today. He did a live show, our only official live show of my mama told me, and he was fucking phenomenal, as he always is. He's so funny. You know him from the problem with John Stewart on Apple Plus TV? Is it Plus? I can't remember Apple Plus? Is that the network? It's Apple related? You'll figure it out, you pieces of shit. He also he has amazing comedy

He ya?

Fuck? Yeah, we're good.

How you I'm good? I mean the person I would follow Chris Webber told me to do something I can do that. I easily do that.

You knows right now? Let me be clear. Are you all saying you would still follow Blotty even after the disaster of him being GM and Sacramento.

Yes, you want to know something, Yes, and here.

He's running a cult, not a business.

Yeah, I'd still be able to get some fun stories from Uh. I mean, we gotta support listen, we gotta support Eastern European skill players. Like it's listen, he.

Man, I'm a Denver Nuggets fan. Keep keep talking, keep.

Yeah, Blondie Devo well before I would ever ever follow Mike Bibby. Also, was it was it Jack Mike Bibby or was it regular Mike.

Bib It was playing regular Mike Bibby.

Hold on, let me, I'm gonna drop the I'm gonna drop the picture of the chats.

Also, I know this is my next question. So are they saying that they are dimes? Are they talking about assist?

I think it was they were like team assists because they were assisting.

I think I think they were the boys that assisted. The King of Assists was the implication of of the thing.

Oh that makes sense, like he's in the Dimes, because it's definitely not.

Like it feels like they called him dying, do you know what I mean? Like like that was their fun little nickname for him because he was just so nasty with the Dimes, that that he was team dying, that they were team dying.

Hold On, Yeah, you gotta take a look at it. It's weird, and we'll throw it up. We'll throw up in the videos, so everybody, everybody. They're also like in a hallway. It's not properly lit.

Yeah, my only my only question is that, like when that kind of stuff comes out, what do you respond with, Like, you know, like the want Dixon stuff is coming out now, Like this is like weird stuff.

It's weird.

That's what I'm saying. You need a documentary.

It looks like a backpage listing.

You can't just you can't just look at this picture in twenty twenty three, knowing what we know about about histories of fucking sex cults and weird control of other people, and not look at this team dim shit and go something the fuck was up here.

That's how I felt when I read the article in O four.

I was like, this is weird, bro, Yeah, this is this is like a half step away from when B two K or no not B two K. Yeah, they had that that iMX had to take that naked picture together.

Oh that that's before all the Chris Stokes stuff.

Oh they were doing that back when they were just being abused by a different man.

This is no.

I thought that was Chris Stokes that was behind the camera on that one.

But I know I thought Chris Stokes was like Marcus Houston's age, like he was abusing Rasby and the other little fiends because they were younger. This wow. Can I say something. A lot of people will say that there's not actually enough representation. I would say when it comes to black cult leaders and older black men taking advantage of young black people, and I want to say good on them, not for touching the boys, not for not for grooming the boys, but for breaking with the stereotype.

There's not a ton of it. It's like Africa, Bambarda, who else?

Oh Bambada.

I mean don't like to talk about it. I know we don't like to.

I mean, okay, we already send the email, send the email then, okay. But this is also this is like a sub my mama told me, because a lot of black parents will be like, you know, white, those older white men be touching you, but older niggas be touching.

By all the time. I mean, it's really equality.

It really speaks to.

We are five minutes in.

I do think it really speaks to a generation of black women working really hard to protect their own even in the face of fucking uh raping children. It truly was like them. Yeah, I didn't have to say it. No, listen, I put the cream cheese on and I didn't spread a bit, you know what I mean. It just it just sat where it's at. And I apologize to everybody. But but the point being, I think it's just women being like, well, not ours, but men be doing stuff.

I think I know if I'm going to put this on women.

I think I'm more acknowledging their strength than I am putting it on them as blame. But but sure, make me a monster, David.

Yeah, it's not to me. Here's the thing, it's not that it's it's not that like it was. It was like the black community's fault for not saying that like molestation existed. I truly think it was like it was moved from priority number one to like priority number three for them because it was like racism, misogyny. Oh ship, who I leave with the kids?

Oh yeah, the houses, the house is on fire. There's a lot of stuff.

You gotta say, somebody has to be left with the kids. Therefore that they're just learning to dance. This motherfucker makes music that's perfect to pop lock dude, we can't examine this anymore.

I also, I would also argue that like head coaches basketball coach his sports figures. Since we're talking about Mike Bibbie and I brought up the Wane Dixon thing, that's a particular kind of trust and brotherhood and like kind of eternal order where like you you are as a as a single mother, as a mom, you would also be like, I don't need it. That's you know, someone's teaching these boys how.

To be men. Yeah no, I don't think you don't remember think that the blind Side went bad?

Wow?

Wow, like okay Michael or yeah great, But you don't think there was like five times where they were just fucking that kid.

Fuck Okay, now you say kid, And that's what makes it bad. But that is the part that makes it back. But if it's just a white Southern couple who wants to cook, who wants to be cooked by a larger oh, that's just man with sec dreams.

That's just.

And I say, as a person spent a lot of time as Mississippi Uti who's Alabama, baby.

Yo o may just kind of a nice deal. It was just like, hey, every now and again, I gotta go upstairs. Watch we won't talk about it downstairs.

The bad part is the fetishism and the dehumanization of black bodies. The good part is did he get a hot meal? Did he have gas in it?

Did starting at Clemson? Listen, somebody had to get him through that red shirt year. That's all I'm saying as you end up starting to live in a university.

That if you're out there and uh and you're being sued, the law offices of Jorden and Borri are here to represent you with what I would argue is uh is real sound long? You know, they seem to be coming at you with real.

Legal legal that's legal. That's legal. Wife, you can move somebody, and who's your wife? That's not against the law.

Yeah, okay. So this so the mic bibi stuff happening at Arizona kind of makes it seem a little bit more like it was like, you know, when people all jerk off kind of around the same area, you.

Know, Yeah, sure you go in the woods and.

Once again, another once again, another ma Mama told me that my Mama didn't tell me my friends. Mama told me. It's the whole discrepancy between like groups of young white boys will jerk off together, groups of young black boys would just like, we'll pass the point around and we'll be like, oh, make sure you go to page blah blah blah, and the book will also be like, man, I already see your dick. I seen your dick enough.

Yeah, there's all I ever jerked off with nobody.

Never even I never even was asked to be completely honest.

When I said that, Like what was wrong with me? When I said that, I fully expected y'all to be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? You didn't you know what I mean?

No, it's truly. I think it's like sometimes people are very bored in suburban communities. I think there's also like a level of exploration of queerness, but with never having to state that outright, because like you kind of you

Like oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Or even like if someone ever bent down to pick something up, you'd go and like pretend like you're getting sloppy toppy from them, Like we but that's what I'm We engaged in a communal group sexualized activity that wasn't as explicit right it was.

There is something that was very juvenile about that, what I mean, but also like getting together and jerking office also seems fair. Damn, I'm blowing up.

No man, two phones over here.

Mike baby knows Mike Bibby like, hey, wash your mouth.

It took him a long time because those big, clunky muscles make it hard to but he finally found you. Yeah, I feel like we used to. We used to walk around the entire school like slapping each other on the ass as hard as we possibly could. I think that was like a bit that we would do if like, you're talking to a girl and then I would like come up and like, yeah, slap you real hard and you scream out in front of a lady.

Okay, there was one This comes from my high school. There was one story. I wasn't there when it happened, but we were people smacking asses a lot a lot of people players were smacking ass. Someone smacked another football players and his response was that was kind of song.

Oh okay, sad.

Yeah, I didn't expect that ass to be that SONGD was you got a smooth butt? Yeah? That was when that happened, everyone was like, what's going on? I will say also, we had an extremely an extremely progressive girls basketball team. We had like two or three state championships. Tons of out studs while we were there. Oh, I mean like I'm talking about studs going.

To prime face.

But I will say, I will say it seems like you can be a stud if you're a champion, do you.

Know what I mean?

Yeah, Like, even in an era of major homophobia in violence against you know, lesbians and gay men alike, if you're a champion, you good.

Yeah. The only way you can beat homophobia is if you also beat Callaway.

That's it.

Yeah, okay, Wednesday, and then you get to eat KOUCHI.

Look, you gotta celebrate. How you celebrate, that's not for me to decide. Yeah, yeah, yeah, No. Whatever you want to do with that trophy, that's your business. But but you ain't doing it with a second place trophy, and I'll tell you that much. All right, we can't keep fooling around this is. This is too much silly. Before we've even gotten to the thing. You came to us

Him tail in the in the in the colloquial.

I understand black tail magazine.

Yeah, you were, you were talking about ain't this is? I got it all right.

In general, you're not really the whole.

But just you go, I know, boy, pretty well, you're talking about the whole.

I celebrate the entire cat.

All right. Well, you said, my mama told me you will catch a bad cold if your hears wet.

Yes, So I think that this is There are multiple prongs to this. So, first of all, it deals with black mothers never wanting their black children to look like white children in public. So you don't ever want your child to have wet hair outside like that's when a black mom does not want you to be outside with your hair web. They just don't want it. Even at the pool, they'll like dry your hair off, like I'm going back in, I'm gonna this is a game? Is

In the country. Right Chicago would make sense to me, there was there.

Was an entire show call in the heat of the night.

I honestly think the air turns off in Mississippi after a certain hours.

And the and the third thing is like I think people thinking that cold air and cold hair leads to death is truly connected to William Henry Harrison. Now it's he's a president who apparently didn't wear a coat or was kind of wet on his inauguration day and then he died a few days later. But here's the thing, he also was an old white man in the eighteen hundreds.

Yeah, you guys weren't allowed to grow your haird I've.

Had this haircut. I've had the same haircut since I've had haircuts.

Now, Langston, Langston, your privilege is showing right. I used to have to get to even Stephen One even all over or or I can get it. I just got it.

I just wouldn't got it.

I could get it. I could get like a fade, but even that was like what you trying to you know.

That's neither see. I think, well, if I may, I think it was that my mom, while while at points was a single mom, she always had a like a step dad, like I always there was, she was always remarried to someone, and at that point she was excited for us to have bonding time, which meant that like I didn't have a mother in a barber shop dictating my hair. I had a nigga who who didn't really give a fuck what my hair looked like dictating it.

I got to grow up. I think I got to grow like some modicum of an afro for a little bit, and then my grades start to dip and my mom instantly connected.

To all your brain cells, it's growing out your damn scout.

It was. Do you understand the punishment? Okay, I don't. I never want to sensationalize things as a comedian, but truly, that's like a horror scene for so many people of other races. It's being forcibly shaved. Yeah, right, it that's like what happened. That's like what happened to Anne Hathaway's character in lay Miss and You, the dying of tuberculosis, you know what I'm saying.

And that was the worst thing that was happening to her.

That's what I was going through. That it happened in Aliportman's character and beepa vendela that.

You know what I'm saying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it just happens black boys every two weeks.

Well you should have snitched? Is I think the argument here. I think you should have told on your mother and then you could have gone to a nice group home where they'll never shade.

I'm supposed to call the cop with the same haircut as me. I'm getting abused.

Look at me.

I look like a fool. I know about you, but I was. I was threatened with the cops all the time. I got a lot of call the cops. Call that was that was my call, CBS call.

Black disciplinarian is so aware of response time.

Yeah, oh, sure of what they can get away with before somebody shows.

That's the one part of racism they can leverage. They go, they gonna come here.

Okay, you think you think they're gonna come here and then be able to figure it out from your little inarticulate asser. You think you're gonna be able.

To explain hip hop.

What's happening to you? He's not gonna give up.

Just a black mom saying, who do you think they'll believe.

I have a job. You're in that weird not cute stage where your teeth airt are killed in who are you gonna tell.

Eleven years old? Haven't grown in your nose yet?

Matter of fact, take that plaint off. It's your mom becoming bill O'Reilly fat Albert and the gang? What kinds of gang?

Oh man? That was the weirdest era of.

You know what, I wrote it all the way to the end.

You have some did you write it all the way to like the Harlem Globetrotters. That dog? Yeah?

That whoa?

I went to Muhammad Ali Fubo.

Got a Mark Echo shirt on right now, And.

You know what's fucked up is that's what I switched to after I made it past Platinum Fuboo was. I was like, no, I'm an Echo man now, and.

White guys they co opted that too quick.

Also, that man was making shirts we really couldn't wash. Yo was swayed.

And we didn't have the technology back then.

Your ship would look bugged out so fast. Fucking Echo Man. I always I always assumed you were like a Mecca man, But maybe I.

Wore Mecca too. I wore Mecca too, but not Mecca was more expensive at the time. Was once Platinum, Fubu and and fucking Echo and Sean John. All of those could be founded at like a Value City or goddamn Marshalls And.

Yeah, you remember when you would go to Marshalls and you'd find like the Shawn John and you'd be.

Like, yeah, I gotta look around, like, yeah, this this can't be that defective.

I actually don't need the matching bore pants, but this jacket going.

Yeah, John, you're away with a bunch of this ship.

If you have the jacket, the pants are assumed to be at home. Yeah.

I also remember when Denham became so shiny, yeah, shiny denim, Like, how boy there.

Did you ever overshoot the shiny denim? I got my mom to buy me some.

I did, I think, And if I couldn't, because I identify with this so much, I think if I could articulate, what I think the mistake is is that when you are a kid who's not allowed to buy shiny denim and you only get one pair of shiny dinim pants, you think you have to get the shiniest denim possible, and the reality is what you want is just that that dark denim would shine too.

Because I had no tops for it. Yeah, are on top of this shiny fucking dinnim.

You're sitting there with silver fucking pants on. There's no options on the bus.

Worried, worried, worried about what's gonna happen when I get off.

This was a mistake, But I can't tell anyone this ship was Damnar Platinum.

It was like I can't I close my eyes and I see it.

I spent twenty minutes putting a crease in this. I can't walk away from what this is.

The other part is, oh, man, I wore it this week.

Fuck careful while Yeah.

I hit him with it though I had it on.

That was that was the hardest part about pants was like, damn if I hit it on Monday, is Thursday? Crazy? Yeah? Nuts crazy?

My T shirt was long. Maybe they didn't see which one disease word?

And because like I mean, as when you know people are gonna notice, you always go, I gotta watch it drive my house. You ain't gonna watch it dri you have something? Yeah, like listen, I want you guys to know I'm not without memes.

I just don't know this, you know what.

I needed a block schedule.

That's not that is it? That is it?

I used to blame it on being a child of divorce. So yeah, I was at my mom's crave, so I had to and we ain't have no other outfits, so I could double up, you know what I mean.

But the other thing that would happen is that like, so I had like a pair of of bows, and like, if if you have like, you're once again any sort of pants to stand out. So I had like my red straps on my bows.

You have the red strap, so that's a good boat.

But guess what I wore them that week. I can't do it again. It's too memorable because because the first day ever is gonna be like what.

You just need one and as one person to be like, hey, didn't you have those like.

And that person that they always know when it's the quietest and the most and the most people are around the way.

I remember in junior high because I went to a crazy junior high and then a very white high school. I remember in junior high a couple of kids being dubbed like jabo kids. But you know what, I'm saying like, oh, you know, he's always got those dusty ass green jabos on. It's like, that's a that's a faith.

There was a pair of Fubu sweatpants that I wore often enough that that my friend Josh Miller came up to me and was like, hey, niggas are talking about how much you wear them pans And then I never, I like, was wearing them like goddamn every other day probably, and he was like, hey, bro, they're talking about it. I was like, all right, yeah, yeah, no, it was bad. Josh was a hero at that time.

Yeah no.

And to be honest, I don't know that he wasn't laughing in my face when he told me, but he told me not in front of everyone. And that's where the hero. So Jay and and God have we drifted on this?

We're's work?

Jay, could you tell us before we go to break? Could you tell us a little bit about how much you believe? Because your energy is giving off you, you're not bought into your conspiracy theory. But is there any chance that you do, in fact believe in this Cold hair leads to or wet hair rather leads to cold's theory?

I think that germs lead to cold. I think the virus lead to cold. I think, but I have to say it. I was again pertaining to the news over the past six months as a black person in New York who sometimes in Brooklyn. I have to say this plainly and explicitly. I think viruses lead to disease. I think germs lead to disease, various infections, pasages and whatnot. I don't think wet hair leads to disease. I think wet hair leads to cold ness, to you feeling a

My issue my brain with you.

I know, but your body, but your heart.

My heart, because man, I just I lived in Washington and sometimes you'd be out all day in the cold, all all rainy and ship like that, running around, and then you would get home and you would be sniffling like I don't know, I don't I don't. I don't think it's just cold hair, but I think a day spent wet will fuck you up.

I don't like being cold and wet. I think being cold and wet is the worst combination.

It's terrible, it's terrible.

It's one of the few things that could break me. Like, I will give up secrets.

Okay, you get the bottom of my pants wet. I'll tell you all if.

I get watering my socks, I get watering my socks. Oh my god, I'm telling I'm telling everybody, I'm gone if I get watering my socks.

I got water in my socks today walking home from the barbershop, and it was pretty bad.

No, I'm he did.

Your socks. You're not You didn't sit through that.

No, No, I was walking home so I had to get home first.

For sure.

Let's take French foot now, wet socks, that could lead some.

Okay, So that so you okay, So that's just who So you're like, we're like, head, absolutely not your But.

I'm saying like, okay, I'm saying the moisture in the foot, if maintained in a swampy environment, will lead to athletes foot or like a rash okay in Vietnam.

I had clean sot this is It wasn't crazy like that. It wasn't my feet are clean. I had clean socks on. I just stepped in a post a snow puddle and it was cold for about fifteen blocks. It wasn't that.

I listen listeners at home, David just held up his foot and it is a rich green. It is tough to look at me on this.

DDP yoga and I'll be able to pull my foot up and show you it's goods.

Stop taking away black people's feet.

I'm saying that is the thing for me. All Right, we're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more J Jurden and more. My mama told me, Yeah, boy.

Welcome back to my mama told me the podcast where we are currently discussing whether or not cold makes me sick, and it's it's a divided house.

We specifically because we've proven wet foot, hoping to bring it up in wet wet foot has been seems like it seems like it's more widely believed. I'm I'm still on the fence on wet foot, but you two, you're crazy. I think I think wet foot is is a little

I would have to text her. I don't even know what her her paint on it is because my mom's not a water mom at all. Like she made sure I had swimming lessons, but I don't think I've even seen my mom in a hot to. I mean, I'm trying. She does, she does, she stays like I'm trying.

There is something also too. I think Black people of a certain age they also just don't like to get wet in general. So this is another aspect that we need to investigate. I'm not gonna say it's because of civil rights hoses, but I'm not gonna say it's not not because of civil rights hoses.

I mean it goes farther because I'm African right, and people say corner people might tribe specifically, they say we're afraid of water.

Wow, that's like y'all weakness, because yeah, y'all are like those aliens and sign on all. We're strong, proud people, but they flash you with a couple of water. Your face is gonna sizzle. That's what it's like.

I have, I have, I have, not to brag. I got some property in Africa.

I keep needing.

I need my cousin or somebody to come out and look at it. And corner people are afraid of water. So it's like only a few people in my family are.

Willing to go out and look at Damn. That's wild.

Yeah, you shouldn't sit that on the podcast now.

It's truly. If you're trying to buy property in cier Leon, go crazy.

I'm gonna no fuck buy. I'm gonna show up. There was six super soakers and uh and colonize that motherfucker.

You know what I mean.

You're gonna be you want to be the Columbus.

Yeah, No, it's just Cono people. The other people, Timmy and Mende and everybody. Everybody else is not afraid of It's just hard people.

Hey, y'all got to have a little section and guess who's about to become the king of Cono town.

To that, I said, they're not They're not the fire nation.

You can't, like, I know, because that means they ain't gonna be able to fight back. I'm about to bust they ass man, we'll super soakers like okay.

But like you know, when I talk about hair getting wet, that's like that's like truly like a black trigger for a number of reasons. Yeah, like it returns. But I said, don't you feel like for women more so than men? Yeah, because we ain't really rocking conks the way we used to. No one on the podcast has a slick back. Leston might get one, I will.

I will say that is the dream is to know it is I get to an age where I decide to just change direction on my hair.

Wants to know is karate and rock of cock.

Come on, Okay, this is the funnest actually very this is actually very your name because you know who does brush your ship back?

T J.

Holmes.

Come on, and I'll say this, that's a handsome motherfucker who deserves No I'm joking, but but no, I think he looked cool before you started acting up with that white lady.

He was man brushing your hair. Bag.

That is it's the craziest ship.

Williams and then everybody else.

Yeah, you can't just be doing that. You's a wild thing. Man.

I'm gonna be real with you. I be that guy when the time comes, I'm going back words and I'm not even going But how straight is your hair?

If you grow it up?

If I grow it out? It's it's very curly. It's like but it's like, but it's is it?

Is it like?

You know what I It's not. It's not a number and a letter. It's not tight little coils. It is like big like it is you know, it's somewhere in the the spectrum of like a who's the right, uh cop, It's it's Corbin what was his name? Corbyn Blue? It's gonna it's gonna Corbin Blue, you know what I mean. Well, let's let's unpack this officially, right, because because the conspiracy theory is still on the table, and and I did some research, so let's just say this. I'm gonna be

Yeah, but what internet? On the white Man's Internet? That's you that's your first problem.

Yeah, this is unfortunately, this is still white man's Internet that I'm I'm reciting back to you. So it does have its s faults.

But yes, you gotta use one of those beads and ask Rio, you gotta do you know your beads that you got your bes on? How are we supposed to locate you? Well, so, so that's a movie all about black people's hair getting wet. All the theme here's okay, the theme of Wakanda forever.

Yeah, man, are we doing this because I have some feeling.

Listen, I'm listening. I'm gonna let you. I'm gonna let you kick it off and then and then our weigh in depending on the circumstances.

Oh okay, well this is what I can say. I love this source material. I ultimately enjoyed the film. But it is funny that that a stereotype that has been leveraged against the so much was a central plot point to the movie. It was I have a job about it.

I have a joke about it. You could just swim. That's how you defeat the Wakanda. You just he just swam in there. And they were like, what is this magic funck? Bro. Come on, that's a.

God. He also flew into He flew and.

He came in with all his swimmers, and that was what happened the first time. Here's what I'll say. I think they they worked the hardest on that film, on that monologue, and then they they figured out the rest. You know what I mean.

I've been anti Black Panther for a while.

Wow, They'll see here's something. Some people in my life have recently seen the first one and they were like, did I need to see other stuff? And I was like, maybe, I don't know. It was we were we were swept up in the moment. Don't get mad. Just watch it the way I watched it with my eyes from back.

I can't. I'm too African. The whole movie I watched, they had this magic rock that made them better than the rest of the Africans, and they kept being like, but if we didn't have this rock, then we'd be like the rest of them. I'm the rest of them. Pretty good guy.

I Wowy did not really investigate that because I was caught up in the diaspora part of it. But that is that they were so close that the proximity is wild.

It's crazy now they weren't. They weren't being very kind. The the wakandans and and all.

I'm saying, go see the Woman King. That's all I got for you.

The Woman King was good. I enjoyed it. A lot of a lot of good karate kicks. But but karate karate, we're doing something similar.

I don't know you just I love any any martial art being described as karate.

Oh it's a catch all term for sure.

I certainly don't think I'm going to do the research to figure out what your respective martial art is in the ate you do karate.

Yeah, when Langston becomes a man of a certain age who starts combing his home his hair back, he's going to be a karate man.

The chuck's on him right now.

There's right there, Jay Jurden, I am. I'm I'm not lying to you all. I'm going to I'm going to brush my hair back. I'm going to buy a nice gee, and I'm going to drink oolong Like I don't. I don't think that this is.

This is just a reminder of all the listeners. If we do hit one thousand subs on the YouTube, Langston does have to drop that that numb chuck video.

Well, I'm glad you brought this up because we got to know, and I'm sorry to do this in the middle of our riveting conversation Jay, but but it's worth noting that before you got on today, BORI I should give you some backstory. I have numb chucks, I've never learned to use them, and I promised, based off of Bory's suggestion, that at a thousand subscribers for our YouTube channel, I would give a a nunchuck tutorial to all the

And we are now I've opened it. It's open, it's been open.

None of this matters because we are now instituting that at two thousand subscribers, Bory will have to give a harmonica tutorial to those same viewers and obviously doubled in size.

I think here's here's here's what I like about this. I think I think Dave it actually has the easier, easier thing to do.

Wow.

Well, here's the trick harmonica. It's just like, as long as you can kind of stay in one place and then take it away and then be like, what go up here here the scale right?

That's true.

None are actually more dangerous. I think also to get my dick with this harmonica. There's no harmonica, so you can take it off single blues lyric and be like, I'm stuck in jail.

You can, it's very.

Well.

Let me that's a good point. I can, I can, I can. I can talk a lot. I can talk a lot.

Oh yeah, let me be clear. There's gonna be no bb king this bad boy. Come on, man, let me do you got to do this ship right, you're gonna give You're gonna blues traveler harmonica.

Is what I want. That's that's not happened to do that. I don't get My man had a bandolier of harmonica's. He look like a he look like a harmonica bandito. I can't do that, you know, I can't do it.

That ain't stay on me.

Yeah, he had he had so many. I bet he called him monica's. He didn't even say he's to harmonica.

Give me have time for that first syllable. It would get in the way, were.

Getting away happen to play.

Okay, let's let's unpack a little bit more of this research because I want to I want to make this clear for our listeners at home as to why the cold doesn't actually do anything. To your point, Jay, it doesn't do anything in terms of catching sickiness. The only real cause of a cold is being exposed to the virus. No matter the circumstances, temperature as it or temperature is often suggested, right, It truly makes no difference if you have the germs in your body. And this is what

That sounds kind of hot, that sounds sexual.

Hey, it's all that winter boning that everybody's doing that apparently is getting people sick.

And here's the thing. You can always warm up fast enough. Like that's the other things. The incubation time if it actually comes from the temperature, because once you get in, if you heat up in the would it go away? I always, I always assume. No, this is the idea of you get out and you just don't ever dry your hair and you just go. If you just from the pool to the towel, right and can't take something crazy, can't take you something crazy, don't do it. I did it a few days ago.

No, no, no.

I washed my hair, dried it off a little bit. It was still damp when I went outside. It was like a nice fifty degree day in New York. Then that happened to me. I'm good and and you.

Did you enjoy the feeling? Was it like a good feeling?

It is when your hair is wet in public, there is a sense of power and privilege.

It feels good to be bad.

I mean. The thing also is that like so many people, they don't they don't like, they don't know I got hanged out. They don't know nothing. So when your hair is wet, it's moving a little bit. Also, Black people's hair absorbs moisture so fast that when it's when your hair is actually moisturized, you are like, whose hair is this?

Yeah, because it feels like wet, you know who is this?

This ain't me where? This ain't where I'm at all the time.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I'm not gonna lie. That's what actually, because I'm contrary to what the ring light is doing. I'm very much brown skin. But like with that hair's blowing you up. That thing's good with the hair I was that morning, it was bad.

It was bad. Yeah. Even as I was looking this up, there actually came another theory, And what you guys are saying sort of reminds me of it where a bunch of people apparently believe that going to bed with wet hair can cause you to get a.

Cold, And I do that's crazy.

That's what I thought, was like, I why would you ever go to bed with a wet head? Like that seems fucking off. Yeah, I don't people do it.

I know some people will do a conditioning treatment.

Cap sure, but that's it's so wet and but I mean it's intentionally wet, and then it's so wrapped that it sort of becomes like a non factor, you know what I mean, Like it's not like you're sitting wet and exposed to elements inside of that that situation.

I think that I think that this is very much a story about black hair.

Mm hmm.

That's it.

That's what I said, when I saw what kind of fever? That's the first This is very much a story about black This.

Is Matthew Cherry's black hair cinematic this movie could use.

That's a little monica.

Oh man, Truly, it's weird so that it goes on to say that because I wanted to look up some of the origin of this. It's said that this may have been rooted, and no one knows exactly where it comes from, certainly, but they said it may be rooted from World Ward one, when scientists concluded that soldiers who slept in wet trenches were more likely to catch colds than soldiers who slept in dry barracks, which feels like you're skipping over a lot of the elements in their wet.

The fact that they were sleeping on top of each other and coughing and bleeding each other's mouth.

Ye sure, yeah, it was bad for your feet, but it wasn't the reason you were coughing as much as it was everything else.

Yeah, I think it's truly. I think it's truly Conflation versus is causation. I think it's correlation versus causation, and people germ theory is still younger than this, than hair, than people being like I'm cold. People can go I feel cold, and now I feel sick. I know. It's I mean, it took how long for us to be able to look at any sort of like you know, organisms under a microscope?

Yeah, I mean, I'm curiously I feel like doctors started washing their hands in like nineteen ninety six.

It's like they just smoke a cigarette. Blow it blow, Yeah, their hands.

People didn't start washing their hands until three years ago.

Right, Yeah, and we know that by all the deaths that accumulated in the early part of this Bad Boy. But truly, it it's wild how little of our science is in any way sort of like ancient. Right, we don't have any ancient learnings. All of this ship is brand new to us.

There was okay, now just so I can we can't like David will push back on this. Black people, Indigenous people, a number of people kind of like knew how to get dirt off of the body. They knew they were getting dirt off. They didn't know they were also getting germs off, right, so they just knew that. Like when like the Moor's going to Spain and being like, what's what's happening it y'all don't Oh yeah, y'all don't have y'all don't like clan pushing back with that.

Yeah, but because like I don't know, you dirty, dirty, dirty Spanish people, is that what we're doing? I mean.

Dirty years because I know a lot of people will be like, I'm not dirt. I'll be like, no dirty, Like fourteen hundred Spanish Europe was stinky.

Yeah, your whole armada stink. Yeah, you had the boats, but you also had the funk.

And that's.

That's y'all.

Funk is Wow. I love funk, being both an insult and a compliment, truly the best.

Yeah, we do it.

We do good work in the black community.

With my God in the seventies saying something has some funk.

Yeah, this funky motherfucker. God damn that that. Yeah.

Imagine someone that means someone played bass so well that everyone's like that ship tight.

Like ship.

But in a good way, right, imagine being so musty from two stepping.

It's like it's some funk, I mean. But then there's also people like, I don't I bet boots he didn't smell great?

Yeah, George, God damn, Yeah no, they.

Like, yeah, it was all synthetic fibers they didn't bring. Yeah, I don't.

And you're all night doing fucking Heroin and ship you're yeah.

Because imagine, imagine all the comics that y'all know that are a little musty when they get off stage.

Yeah, and now by two hours and you're actually working.

Two hours, actually working and dancing. I don't even want to get within one hundred feet of James Brown.

Yeah, there's that video that uh that that's always comfortable. Be honest, there's that video. I know what you're saying. You know the video where he's sweating and he like comes into frame and it's like, yeah, he's like barely he can barely keep his eyes open because he's been going so hard on whatever fucking song he's doing. There's no way he smelled good in that video.

He's in a red jumpsuit.

Yes, it's not possible for him to have smelled like anything but ass. And that's part of the magic of the performance.

I mean, if you put on it, if you put on a jumpsuit, it's just a countdown till when your nuts starts stinking. You got, you got, You got maybe two and a half hours before it's they.

Start stinking the minute you realize you're gonna have to put on a jumpsuit.

Yeah, once your once your dickets at pleasant.

Eddie Murphy could not fuck after delirious. He had to go home and watch first, and then fuck, there's no way. He just unzipped and let a lady smell whatever was underneath that.

Oh my god. Yeah. And and I will say he did it twice.

You know.

He was like, man, back, I'm gonna be stinky again.

No, Here's what I think happened is the second time he was like, hey, man, make the leather more breatheable this time, not realizing that that's not possible at all. It was as breatheable as it could be, and you just gotta bunky dick again.

I always would worry about his nipples in those outfits. Oh yeah, hot weather nipples is probably not good.

No idle for the first time a couple of weeks ago, and that's not pleasant.

They don't get it's it's bad if you.

Get the wrong just the wrong amount of like wool on anything, and you're not wearing like a like a tank top underneath it, like an undershirt, and you start all day.

No, that's why you have to wear undertank For me, that's why we're tank tops is to spare my nipples.

Yeah, wild feeling.

I didn't mesh fucks my nipples up real bad. And I always wondered why NBA players are always wearing those tank tops underneath. I'm like, it's the same size boys, it's not hot and anything. It's like, oh no, they're just making their nipples not up. Yeah.

That would imagine having a game that's up there with Paul Pierce having a boo boo.

Hey, somebody clutches their chest and they pretend to have a heart attack, but it's just a bloody nipple.

I've done the thing where I just woorren like a basketball jersey outside with nothing on underneath, and that sh it's like it's a it gets short, that logos gets to rubbing. Man, you gotta go back to the house. Yeah.

Man, Well this really devolved into some bullshit right at the end.

But I feel good about it.

I mean, otherwise i'd say I'd say perfect episode. I think we nailed it.

Yeah, I feel good. Jay.

Could you tell the people at home where they can find you and what cool shit you have going on.

Uh, you can find me on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok. All the stuff that we're forced to do to exist in this new digital content age that is neither good nor bad, but we should at least be aware of it because we are being turned into just lines of code for bigger companies. So I'm there. I'm on all Jay Jorden, I'm the only person named that, so you can find me. There's also if you watch The Primo John Stewart, I'm

Well, yeah, follow Jay, follow his little bit of code that that's out there that we're all forced to be a part of. Boy, you want to tell the people where they can find you?

Cool Gray eight jokes eighty seven on Instagram, January twenty seventh. I'll be at the Newbery and Great Falls, Montana, March twenty third through twenty six. Rooster t Feathers in Sunnyvale, California, March thirty first through April first, the Dallas Comedy Club, Dallas, Texas, and touring February seventeenth. Come to High Note Comedy in Denver. We got Britney Carney and you know, February sixteenth, come out and see me in Leuston live at the Illegia.

Oh hell yeah. I love Brittany Garney.

We got good stuff going on.

Hell yeah. And like Bory said, fucking live show February sixteenth. We've got some amazing comedians coming out. We're gonna have some games, We're gonna throw out some prizes. Maybe I don't know, I'm I'm making up shit, but come fuck around with us. We can get some prizes, you know, fucking oh shit, Yeah, Bory's brother is gonna do a flip and uh and yeah. Come check us out. And if you want to follow me, you can follow me

Chips in your quality racist have bows made money? I can't defending turkey stuff. I can't help me.

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