I Kissed a Monkey and I Liked It (Introducing Co-Host David Gborie)

money stuff. I can't tell me. Yep, yep, yep, there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we finally worked to prove that Morgan Freeman's hoop ear ring was made from some of the last remaining medals produced at the start of the Industrial Revolution. They don't make coop ear rings like that anymore, no sir.

That type of metal is rare, and only a person as old and as odd as Morgan Freeman could even still possess it. That's the conspiracy theory. I'm spreading this week, i'm your host, you're you're now co host. I am a co host now because I am joined today by by my co host, a man who has been on the podcast before. So funny, so talented, but goddamnit that we added. We're adding this motherfucker and he's wearing purple, just like me. It was. It's serendipitous than a bit.

It's gonna be a great time. Give it up for for my co host, Mr David Boy. But I couldn't think what I wanted to come in with a good sound to like start off this partnership. I think it took yourself long to make the decision. Yeah, what the sound was gonna be. I was having a real because I didn't want it. First in my head, I was like, more fire that's not the right one. Now, that's not you're not a more fireman. And I know I wanted in my heart that's well, we gotta work on your

sounds already. You're letting the listeners down with these sounds that you've been on what for eight seconds, and the sounds are failing hard. It's only up here from here though, that's you know what I mean. We just started the bottom and that's how I do it. Im. This is we've been we've been planning this for a little while now. This is very exciting. I'm glad you're joining joining the pot. Yeah, I love it. I love it. I love doing minimal

research and having maximum opinions. Yeah, I really, I'm really going to be looking to you for color commentary on on a lot of things that probably don't require color. You know. Yeah, that's what that's that's really where I get. That's where I shine. Don't worry about the noises. My commentary is the noises. I'll take care of the noises and now on I'll be the noise man. You'll be color comments. I'm not going to try perfect well, I don't.

I don't want us to dilly or daly. Because the conspiracy theory you and I decided was worth digging into this week, and it's it's one that I feel like I have I have circled a few times, but never fully tapped into. But we said, my mama told me, HfV came from human who has sex with a monkey. Man.

Tell me everything you know about about this subject. I mean, this one, this one is personal because I'm gonna say it I'm you know as hell and uh, you know, early nineties there's a lot of a lot of African slander going around by way of terms like booty scratcher and things like that, and then this ship came up, and you had to It came up so often people like, oh, you're from Africa. I heard they fuck monkeys over there. Yeah,

Like we're just like it's a free for all. You're just you guys are just running around snatching up monkeys out of trees and fun. Because also, if we were sucking all the animals, you don't think so cooler ship would have came out than AIDS. And that's not I don't we didn't do that, But I'm saying like, like there were other cool things would happen besides a A right,

I mean objectively what we're talking about AIDS. There was also Studio fifty four with that era of sex and sexuality, right, so, and who are they to be monkey Studio fifty four If y'all are sucking the ship out of them and to that extreme, there would just be a lot of other crazy cool ship going on. Some kind of hybrid tiger babies we would have had. Are there tigers and

I don't think that's correct. Some kind of crazy panther people race like, OK, you got it, like a lot of other things besides just aids, right, They're they're only picking at I love that this is the defense you have. You guys are only picking at the bad stuff that came out of sucking those monkeys. I'm not saying we fucked monkeys. I'm saying if we were sucking monkeys, then then then we were sucking everything and there would be a host of aids like I like virs, well, that's

I like. I like this and because I don't think I had ever considered the possibility. And maybe this is my own, my own prejudgment, right, If I'm being honest with you, I'm a former version of myself was calling Nigga's African booty scratchers and it was huge. I I brame John Singleton. Oh yeah, he played his part. That was a major blow to the African community. That was huge.

That was huge that. I love the idea of some sort of like Council of African Nations coming together and being furious at John Singleton for for making you all the punchline in in his movies. One scene ruined most of my elementary school. Jesus Christ, this is a big deal. But to that point, I it had never even occurred to me that monkeys would be the stopping or not be the stopping point. Rather that like for me, it was like, oh you I've heard y'all fuck monkeys and

stop in stop. I never advanced it beyond that. But to your point, if you're sucking a monkey, you probably could sucking more sleek, sexy animal too, far more majestic beings on the African plains. Have you seen monkeys the crass yead? No, they're they're not classy animals, no vulgar, i'd say, to be honest. But you've seen like a giraffe, Yeah, what I mean, there's like there's just like a lot. You've seen a gazelle like, but monkeys, that's the ones.

One of the things that I remember from going on to the Fari, I went like whatever it was three years ago, and one of the things I remember is as we were driving, we saw a giraffe who was like drinking water. And one of the things they do, they'll like dip their head and down to whatever they're they're drinking and then they'll like lift their necks up and pray the water over themselves, almost like a sexy fountain.

It's like, how could you watch a giraffe do that and not be like, I funk the ship out that giraffe. I'm yeah, they got that big old black tongue. I didn't put a color on it. I don't know what the color does, but I do know that to be a detail. I just yeah, there's there's just there's there's far as I've never seen a giraffe in the wild because I've only been to the cities in Africa, but yeah, there was just I just feel like if that was

the case, there's so much better animals to now. I do remember that part of the reason and the claim at least that people were sucking monkeys is because and part of the reason that HIV was a product of us fucking monkeys was because that monkeys are so close to human beings that the genetic closeness is part of the reasoning for the birth of the disease in the first place, which in retrospect sort of doesn't quite make sense.

I would imagine that like we'd get diseases from anything we put our dick in and the genetics isn't the part that makes it disease worthy? Well you know what? Okay, So I did very minimal research, of course, is what I found out is that there is because so there's there's there's three kinds of it. There's HIV, which is just human immuno deficiency virus, right, but then there's also

very similar s i V simon immuno deficiency virus. Right, that's the monkeys, that's monkeys, but then there's also fi V. So how come all these old dusty white diaches with cats. Nobody's worried about what that was? You know what I mean? See hold on, that's how they get you, because that's that's the scam that was run on you and other

African children throughout your upbringing. Because I'm seeing it now because there's there's very clearly this other form of immuno deficiency virus sitting there that no one's ever accused anyone. And white people love cats. They love their mouths, yeah, and their cat their tongues ain't even nice. They got them paper tones, they got growth, and they let them poop in their houses. That's that's also fat that's fact. He draw the party lines where you will, it won't

be about cats pooping in white people's houses. Listen here, here's what I love. Freedom, all right, that's what I worry about. Party locks. But to that point, no one's ever accused anyone of fucking their cat, and that being the potential birth of AIDS up. So so ultimately, somebody is taking advantage of the propaganda machine to make this a African problem, when in fact it could very well be a Scandinavian problem, you know what I mean, It could be one of whatever, one of these white places

where cats roam freely and do catship. And I think that there's a lot of kinds of cats, right, bobcats links that's a snow cat, right, snow leopard. I'm pretty sure that's one of them. I'm eating up. I'm eating up. I'm eating up. Give me some runway. I'm just saying, like, why does it? Why was it Africa? Why why did

you have to have come from Africa? I do think, I mean, and it's you're really getting on a train here, because I do think ultimately it points to the gross correlation that happened with AIDS and HIV and black people. The very I would argue intentional correlation that happened there, which I'd be remiss if I didn't admit that, like our population suffered greatly from you know, HIV and all the other ship. But it isn't because we invented the motherfucker.

It's simply because of from all the stuff, from all the stuff. We also got COVID. Nobody was like it's a black thing. No. In fact, if I remember correctly, we were real proud not to have had it for a little while. And I definitely tweeted about that. I definitely tweeted that a bunch of times, like just some kind of like third world immunity. Take that ship back to England. It was early pandemic. I've since cut my Twitter off, I understand. Sure. I hope that was the

sole reason you had to cancel your Twitter missing. I went too hard on black people not be able to get COVID. I gotta I gotta just shut this ship down. Yeah, I really, because I had to stand by during the

whole of Bola things. So I was like, we got one and then it was a misstep on look, we all we all were here for the first like three weeks where no black people were confirmed to have had COVID, and we truly thought that this was God coming back to the earth to finally make white people reap what they said. We all remember this, What a big month that was. We're not going to work and we're not getting sick. Uh. Dog I was. I was having a goddamn field day and then that one, that first black

person showed up sick and it was like, God damn it. Yeah, that guy's gonna go down in history because that was a big letdown. It it hurt a lot of people. That was a big letdown. I would say him, that person, and I assume it's a man. I just have to assume that that a man was the first one to get sick from a black man was the first one of black people to get sick from COVID. I I have to assume that, Yeah, it's just I have to assume that he's uh, that he survived it and just

has to live with this feeling for forever. I think, yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, I was like, I was all into I was like, I followed dr Umar on Twitter. I was like, Oh, it's happening. You're not a foolish man. This is like real, Yeah, I'm investing in your schools. Yeah, somebody call. Let me get that doctor Sebby book, like it could all happen. Maybe you did gear cancer. I don't know, man, We're not going to get the sickness that you know what elsie. Dr Sebby said that he

was carrying was was HIV. Thought he could he could help around with HIV by drinking mineral water. All I'm saying is I've had a lot of mineral waters. I've never had HIV. Hey, And that's pretty fucking cool if you asked me, that's fucking huge, if you asked me. I don't know if the correlation is perfect, but it makes sense on my end. That's all that matters. All Right, We're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more

David Bory more, my mama told me. And we are back. Yeah, we're back here with more David Bory, our new co host. And my mama told me. We're still talking about the possibility that AIDS HIV was born from a human, a man fucking a female monkey. Had you read or had you heard and this this will help guide us into this research. I think pretty seamlessly had you heard specifically

that it was a man who sucked a monkey. Was there any any part of you that considered it could have been a lady who took advantage of a nice monkey man. I've never thought that a woman had sex with ann any animal ever, not willingly. No, Oh fuck, all right, I just know it's never It's just my brain, you know what's crazy? And now this says a lot about me. I don't know what this says, but when you say this, in my head, I always assumed that it was a dude having sex with a boy monkey.

I don't know why, and I don't know whoa. I don't know what to make of that. Whoa? You know what? You know what that feels like? And I don't mean this in a judgmental way, but it does feel honest? Is that that almost feels like it's cooked in with a type of of almost cross pollination of both the hatred that they put onto you and then the like the homophobia that was circulating alongside HIV very African hyeah. I know, I don't know to homophobia? Did you not?

We were we were pretty early early adopted. No, I know. Now it's so crazy because I've never even said that, like, I never realized that that was the case, But when I say it out loud, I don't know why. I I mean, I don't know that it it much matters, right like if you always assume it was a dude, a man having sex with a female monkey. I don't know that I ever thought about the gender of the monkey. I think I always in the same way that you look at somebody's like dog, and you're not like always

thinking like that's a girl dog. You're just like, hey, look at that dog. Dog. It's sort of like it was just a monkey being a monkey, And uh, it wasn't, if I'm being honest. It wasn't until I was researching this ship that they were very specific about being a female monkey that I started to feel like, okay that I guess it's a heteronormative relationship happening between these animals. I guess. Though. Also, if you're if you were on

the cross species lines, head roll home. We're already, you know, I'm saying, we're already over here. I'm just trying to suck a monkey. Yeah, I'm whatever, man, I'm already. You're not supposed to be over here anyways. I don't think that anybody's gonna be like, oh, but it was a girl monkey, so he can still you know, nobody's like seduced the monkey. And it it was like, what the fund get off me? I didn't know you was a boy. That's gay. I know that's gay as fuck. Dog. I

thought you was a girl monkey. I can't tell the difference between boys and girls monkey, not visually. No, and uh in in the reading that I did, apparently monkey penises, specifically, like guerrilla and chimpanzee penises don't often exceed like an inch to an inch and a half, so you know, it's more like a button than it is. Ah, that's funny because that changes a lot of my sexton game and be just a lot of Really gorillas have small penises, Yeah, gorillas are not. Uh in terms of the ratio to

their body, gorillas have a very small penis. Did you know that before this? You know why I knew that is because I'm always looking at them gorilla dicks, you know what I mean? I knew that because Bruno Mars had that song where he talked about fucking like a gorilla, and uh, it was on his second album not a particularly well were received album, which is why he leaned in so hard on making seventies and eighties music. Instead, he had a second album. You think he just skipped

to do the first thing. Yeah, I don't know what the middle was. So Bruno Mars has that uh, that gorilla fucking song and his ship and then Jenny's a Greeno a friend who I think you. You know, Jenny has had a joke years ago about the absurdity of Bruno Mars fucking like a gorilla given the small penis of a gorilla. Okay, first of all, sounds like that joke is very funny. Sounds like that album is pretty bad. I'd say this if you funk with Bruno, it's a

it's a Bruno album. Ain't no complaints on my ends. I don't. I don't give a ship when anybody says I like that young man. So I'm cool with it. Now. When people go, hey, this is when he was making as music, I don't argue with them. I'm not defending the work. It's that's just my boy. I know. I listen, I bought the second Criss Cross album, so I'm not here to talk to you crazy. You mean, when they were like old and yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh fuck, you were really invested. I was a big fan. Yeah,

God damn, how did that work out? A the one died, so you know, there wasn't a third album. They didn't have started to Mega third. I think he was sick. It wasn't even like A. It wasn't like I think he was sick. And yeah, and it was not a rap issue at all. They weren't in the streets. He truly died of some sort of like health. You know, I paying attention to fuck All right, Well, now we

gotta transfer into another euno deficiency conversation. So to your original point, which I think is a very valid one, there are other types of immuno deficiency viruses. The Simian immuno deficiency virus is, in fact the one that we believe eve that scientists believe the human of meno deficiency virus was derived from. They pretty much completely discount feline

in meno deficiency virus. And part of the reason they do that is they claim, and you ain't got a dress the White Man if you don't want to, but they claim that there's no ability to transfer cat aids to human beings convenient like I don't. I don't understand the proof. I mean, like I hear what you're saying. I'm just it feels like I don't know why that would be the case, right, Why is this this special aide so different than all the other right now? I

feel you? And also cats not I hate that. I know so much about animal penises, but cats have those uh those no duck dix, so duck dick. Sorry, yeah, and the duck vagina is in a weird like curled kirk screw thing too, so it's like basically like following a maze up in there, whereas cat penises are like pronged, so they like, uh they basically are are built in a way that once they go in, they like kind of snap in the place and and lock the cat

into so they can't run away and ship. Hold on, that's how they get you for real, You're going to jail, my man. But uh So to the the bigger question of it potentially coming from monkeys, And this is something that I didn't realize is that when we're saying monkeys, that in fact is correct. The Semion immuno deficiency virus is believed to have been derived from monkeys and not chimps,

who I had long believed to be the culprit. Chimps are apes where oh you can't suck a chimp though, Yeah you know that's not who you thought who you thought of when they were fucking No. Chimpanzees will kill you. They are so strong, like there's not even like a situation. I think that you could finesse. Wow, this is a completely different interpretation than I had. I always had a chimp in my head the entire Oh, but I have a I have a believe it or not, I have

a crazy chimpanzee story. Okay, I'm listening. I was, I'm excited. What a sentence. Yeah, no, this is this is wild and you can look it out. You can totally cross references. I was at a chimpanzee reserve and Sirele on rest of Africa, just like hanging out or whatever, and there was just one chimpanzee and he was so angry, like we were like because it's like it's like a preserve,

so it's kind of like a zoo. So we're behind the fence looking at him and he's like taking these giant box and throwing up up at us, like big, huge rocks and we had to like duck undercover because he was like trying to hurt his really bad. His name was Bruno, and I remember it was like, man, that was fucking crazy, right, And that's really a weird

that doesn't even because of the Mars thing. That's just that's just so his name was Bruno, and I was always like, yo, that's so crazy, and me and my mom would talk about it sometimes we're like, that is sucking nuts. Years later, I met my buddies house in Colorado and we're watching that show I Shouldn't Be Alive, you know that show, YEA, and they tell a story about these guys. Bruno got out and ripped off like three guys arms like a face, like killed a bunch

of dudes. Fuck at that, the same thing, the whole the same ship. Fuck yeah. So that's so I've always known you couldn't suck at him since four probably it was it's like, oh boy, just in case y'all are like, yo, Bruno was canceled enough for in case this comedy tour comes to their city. I just don't want you, guys, when you cross cross reference, I want you to understand. Wait, so, so how the fund. Did they let Bruno out? How did he get out of it? I think he got out.

I think he got I don't quite remember that episode very well because it was because when I watched it and I had to call my mom and was like, yo, but uh yeah, So I've always known you can't really fun with chimps like that. So here's here's why I always pictured the chimp. And I'm gonna follow this by asking you what monkey did you have in mind? But but I did. I thought it was a chimp, just because of how often they have been used for films

for television. I've watched dust Dunston checks in too many times not to think that, Like, then, you can't train a monkey to to suck a dick, you know what I mean? Like it's that movie was about, not what it was about, but there were some undertones pants on, No, he's a goddamn bell hop all of a sudden, it's it's got weird vibes. And I'll be honest, they taught him to do so many human things that it feels like it implies anything is possible if you put your

mind to it. Hence they you fucked a chimp. And there were no other chimps around, so sexually he would get confused. Right, that's true. And now even as we're saying it, I'm starting to question if Dunston checks In was even a chimp. I actually think, if I'm being honest, Dunston checks In, and I'm looking it up right now, I believe Dunston checks In might have been an orangutang, which makes this entire argument invalid. Well, here's my thing that I've always put. Chimps and apes to me, are

different than monkeys. I always think the monkeys is like little like with long tails and like because and freaks in cerrely on. There's like a ton of monkeys everywhere, but they're like little you know what they compact, right, That's what I always thought about. Like a monkey. I never thought that you could have sex with like a gorilla.

They're so strong, they're so so strong. So were you thinking of like just like a somebody sucked a spider monkey, or well bigger than a spider monkey or right, but like like these monkeys, I don't like equating it in human. These monkeys are like the size of like a like a like a five year old. Okay, so it's not like it's like, you know, it's big enough to do, but it's not like, yeah, I never but like chimps and apes is like and orang of tangs, and like

baboons is over here. I got that's too big for a human to be able to pull off what it. I got you, I don't think you could do it. Okay, Well, I think your logic is sound, because it turns out that chimps and the other apes actually acquired s i V. From monkeys, and again not from sucking them apparently, but from eating them occasionally. Apparently chimps will eat other will eat monkeys, and then the blood and the sort of like raw meat ultimately led to the transference of of

this disease into their community. Okay, that makes sense to me. So now we're trying to figure out is how did it get from them to us? This and that's the big question, right Unless it got from the monkeys to us, well, that's that's also on the table. It could could potentially come from chimps, it could come from monkeys. But now we at least have more players on the field of potential infect doors in this situation, us being the infectees,

although by all accounts. Whatever we're doing to these animals, we did we did something we didn't. Yeah, it's not like they we were just chilling and then suddenly that does these found us. We we did something that we got in there. Here's my other question. Aren't there chimpanzees and monkeys? They're not just in Africa? Right, There's some in Asia. Uh, there are absolutely types of monkeys that exist in Asia and parts of like, yes, they exist everywhere.

I don't know that chimps and gorillas specifically. I I that I can't say for sure, but I do know there's types of apes and monkeys all over the world for sure. Okay, why did I think there were guerrillas in Japan? There are I don't think any guerrillas in Japan, but I could be wrong about there. There is a breed of monkeys that exists in Japan, and weirdly enough,

they come up a little bit in this research. Because I to your your next question, I asked myself, is it possible for a person to have sex with a monkey? And there's this website, Cora. I don't know how much time you spend on Cora. Oh yeah, yeah, I've been on. It's not a good website. I was worried what you said, there's a website, and then you're asked, oh, that it's does a website. That's like, yep, this is how you do it. If you try to do up, it's not

an easy thing to type into your Google search. No, no, they'll catch you immediately. Yeah, it feels like I'm going to get in a lot of trouble for having typed it. But I did type it, and Core basically it came back with a bunch of responses. Some of the folks who asked, because I'm reading someone else's question, I wouldn't dare bring it to Core. But they said there were some that were very outraged that this person for even asking, suggesting that he in fact was a monkey fucker. I

don't like that. I don't like that. You gotta let people ask questions. That and I that was my feeling on it too, is like, come on, dog, this motherfucker's curious that on me. He's a bad guy. He's just trying to figure some sh it out. Yeah, if I enacted everything I Google searched, I would have made gumbo from scratch last week. And I, as some of you

didn't did not so, so some people were outraged. Some people basically answered the question with a little bit too much sincerity that almost felt like they were in fact the monkey fuckers, you know what I mean, like they they were sort of like, well, not legally, but yeah, it's absolutely possible and if I were to do it, it would happen this way kind of thing. And then uh, the more interesting and this actually goes back to your

original question. There was one person who was for real outraged at the idea that men are allowed to fuck monkeys and women have never once been equipped or enabled to fuck monkeys. Equipped, I mean equipped, I just think higher of women. It's an issue of perspects for you. I don't know that they and maybe again I don't know enough they. I don't know that they are equipped, right because at the end of the day, the monkey would have to be the insert or in this situation.

I don't know that you can unless you're like, you know, strapping a monkey down and somehow keeping it erect for for the activation. I don't know how you pull that off. I mean, how do they and I'm sorry to be crashed, how do they do it? In Mexico? Fun monkeys? What do you mean you know what what what the donkey shows? Oh? I don't. I don't actually know. To be honest, it never came up in my research. That's fair. That's fair. That's fair. That's another thing. That's a whole other thing.

But I love that you whispered it just in somebody was listening. I know it made me. It makes me areas were this whole. I wish this wasn't my first episode because we're already like out there, Yeah, we're crazy waters. I wanted us to take a big swing, and in some ways that was maybe too big a swing. Maybe we could have started as something a little more reasonable. No, we're in it now. We gotta get to the bottom of it. People are making choices. So so it has

to be a man to female monkeys. What we're saying that that is the suggestion, And to the point that you brought up, it doesn't have to be a female monkey, but it certainly has to be a man with a desire to fuck a monkey. It seems to be able to pull this off with with any possibility of transferring disease. I would guess who's the woman you have sex with after you have sex with a monkey. Yeah, poor lady, that's crazy or guy whoever? The fucker whoever? It iss like,

that's a tough that's a tough second. Have you been with anybody recently? Well, actually I briefly had a thing, but it doesn't count. We couldn't make it work. So one of the things that that then got me asking is this question of inner species sex in general, right and sort of like how often does this happen in According to research that I found, it's actually super rare.

It's like, you know, not a very popular thing. Although you point reality, yeah, that best reality and specifically bestiality not attached to entertainment. I think just just instinctual bestiality is like truly one of the most rare things on the planet. Apparent I get. I get that, I get because it is that's perverse, like that's that's really that makes sense to me. I'm not happy that. I'm happy that that's the case. So they did, however, in the reading that I did, point to an article about a

Japanese McCall. That's that that's monkey. You are asking about their these red faced white monkeys that are native to Japan. It sounds crazy when you say that I know you're talking about an animal, fucking red faced white monkeys. That's all. They hired a red lobster. It's that inn the slurk territory, for sure. It feels so the These got damn red faced white monkeys apparently live next to something called a seek a deer. They all live on like these mountainous

regions together and they have a pretty symbiotic relationship. The deer eat food that monkeys dropped from the trees. The monkeys clean the deer. They sometimes use them for riding, and they eat the bugs on their backs. It's sort of like, ah, they like hang out together and ship. But apparently years ago, not so many years ago, but enough that that time has passed. There was a video that went viral of one particular monkey who was said to her had been unable to find a mate and

then subsequently decided to fuck a local deer instead. And there's actual video of this monkey. Whoa fucking this dear? I have one question, how do they know that that was the backstory? And that's a great question. They cannot confirm that, Like, how do they know? Couldn't get They're not following this monkey around for years and years watching them just get like turned down by bad bitch monkeys,

you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, And like we said, monkeys are thoughts, so that's even more like yeah, no, it's a it's a solid question. They do not have a solid answer for it. But one of the things that they did point to as some I guess, some attempt at reassurance is they said that the monkey never in technically inserted himself into the deer and was more just went humping the back. If that

makes sense, Oh that doesn't count. That's then I've had sex with a dog, you know, like you know, you've been dry humped by a dog before. Oh thank god, thank that was because I could have gone the other way with you on a dog's back. No no, no, no, no no no, I can't, I can, I can. I can find monkeys to have sex with. But yeah, they said the monkey was just humping the deer's back and came and then the deer licked the come off to clean itself. I don't know if that makes you change

your mind on the results of this whole thing. I don't love no, no, it's not great. I don't love it. I somebody so Hey, somebody filmed this entire act. That's right, some sick oh, some Japanese weirdo. And also is that not and I don't once again not a doctor or here. That's that's not enough for it to transfer it. I don't believe. So I think that that whatever has to happen would have to be like, uh yeah, I think so. I mean there's certainly have to be able to enter

the bloodstream in some kind of way. And that it wasn't like it was like in the spot. It was just sort of like on the back and then it'd be like it, you know, get in come on your skin. Is not necessarily going to guarantee you get AIDS. It's it would need to like enter you somehow. Okay, this is complicated. Now. The only other time that that any of the research I found pointed to of this kind of interaction involves male Antarctic fur seals coercing king penguins.

It basically coerce these king penguins into sexual acts, and one, after busting his nut, ate the bird. Hold on, yep, take your time with this one. Oh so much, it's so much to attack. So the seals yea convinced the penguin. The seals were fucking the penguins, it sounds like it, yeah, okay, and then the seal busted in the penguin. I'm not sure where the seal busted. There's not They weren't real

specific on this. This isn't porn hub. This is more just it feels like it feels like you're people talking loosely about the subject and you said sex acts, so like maybe it was just hand stuff sometimes just like after the movies, you know, those penguins and they're fame his hand stuff, so the ate it. Yeah, So my guess is is that these seals were pinning the penguins

down and just humping the sheet out of them. And then it sounds like some of them were reasonable and let them go, and then others were not and ate

the ship out of them. Nature. It's very bad, and it's it's worth noting that this coercion, whatever it is, there was one time I meant to mention this before that the monkey, that same monkey apparently did try again with a second deer and was met with quite a bit of pushback, like that dear tried to kill the funk out of that monkey, whereas the person one did not. I gotta be honest, I'm lost. So we do believe that who started the aide? Well, we haven't really gotten

to that part. I'm just more exploring the possibility of sucking the animals in general, how it could have moved in and out. Yeah, but I love that You're like, this doesn't answer my question. How does steals fucking penguins get us the aids? And it's a fair it's a fair one. That's It's man, this is dark. It's so dark. None of it's none of it's seeming to be heading in a positive direction, but it is. It is interesting. I hope, I don't know. We're gonna take a break.

We'll be back with more David Bori and more, my mama told me. And we are back. Who says I'm gay? Yeah, we're back here with more day more you more, my mama told me. We're still talking about the possibility of fucking animals and getting uh diseases from them, and none of it's making anybody feel good. But but we gotta finish the episode. You know, you got you gotta finish where what you start. You're right, You're right. My mama

told me to finish what I started. Hell yeah, even this, do do you think she would she would tell finish this. She's advocating all kinds of slander on here. So to the biggest question you've been asking, the question if it ain't monkey fucking right, because they're they're suggesting everything I read it suggests exactly what you said, that even the act of fucking a monkey is probably the hardest part

of this entire concept. That like the transference of s i V to a person, ultimately making it HIV is not an impossible thing through a sexual act, but the literal sexual act is damn near impossible for a person to pull off with a monkey or a chimp or a gorilla or any other of that that type of organisms. So that the big question is how did we fucking acquired this ship? Right? And one of the things that that they pointed to was that although AIDS is considered,

HIV is considered this very eighties disease. And I didn't even know that we we had a patient zero. Had you heard about a patient zero for for HIV? Ever, there's a there's an HIV patient zero. I think some of it is rooted in a a was it Tom Hanks in Philadelphia. It's Tom Hanks in Philadelphia. That's right. That's why Denzel was so mad at him throughout the film. He was like, man, you gave everybody this ship you're starting. That's what I want to see Philadelphia to back in

the habit. Wait, so he survives and he's just back out here given more people what I'm a cop now, haven't you seen my subsequent I really focused on cop more than a lawyer after this one. Yeah. So one of the things that I think they point to with this patient zero conversation is that it's really rooted in

a type of homophobic lore. But there was an argument that this Canadian flight attendant of like the early eighties is considered patient zero because he was knowingly infecting up to two hundred and fifty dudes a year that he was like basically just giving everybody the business numbers on the board eighties. How did you even find them? This

is pre grinder numbers. Yeah, No, he no texting, no email, He's just out in the world finding two d fifty dudes a year at the ball are Doug That's that's us. But he's but that is patient zero. That that is what they weren't long referred to as Patient zero, although I in my reading have been told that it is likely more born from a type of hatred for gay people and it is than it is like a certain

that this dude was the Patient zero. Now the person himself does exist and it sounds like was doing this thing, but he's light work like not my man. But computer models have estimated that the first human infection of HIV actually occurred all the way back into in nineteen so he was very far from being any for any Patient zero. So it's sort of like we just didn't know what

it was. We didn't know what it was, and it wasn't until nineteen fifty nine that we actually were able to identify the infection and it was found in the plasma in the blood of an adult male living in Belgian Congo. So damn it. I thought you were I was hoping you were going to stop at Belgium. No, but Belgian Congo, so he could have been living around white people in the Congo. Have you seen the Congolese people that he wasn't, but Belgium was taking it over.

They were out there doing you know. I think there was like six dudes from Belgium there and fair enough that I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. They were just calling it Belgium Congo, but they it's like it's how it's American Samala. I have never seen American shore. It's more Samoans than Polynesian dudes. I got you. So the more important suggestion that sort of came out of this, because there's no one believes necessarily that this

dude was out there fucking monkeys. What they do suggest, however, is that the disease he's likely spread through the consumption of monkey blood or raw monkey meat, not eating monkey ass, not raw monkey not raw monkey ass. They cook that, but maybe not not as well as they should. Add, I mean, people do eat monkey, but they cook it,

so they think it started from somebody eating raw monkey meat. Yeah, or or like getting some monkey blood on them and then like exactly, or maybe you did cook it, but you didn't cook it properly and ultimately sort of exposed yourself to to a disease that you otherwise would not have had. That that makes more sense to me, and that that that seems reasonable. Yeah, it's it's it's not a reasonable as anything that's been said in the last There are also and this is this actually might be

even more reasonable. There are also suggestions that HIV may have occurred. Uh and I'm gonna use this word, but I don't know it. I atro genetically for genetically when chimps were used in developing a polio vaccine for humans. Oh okay, So for those listening who don't know what that means, explained that. Not for you, not for for everybody.

I know, I know. So I think what they're suggesting is that they were testing chimp genes for the development of a polio vaccine and ultimately may have been exposed that same test on human beings and created HIV. Okay, yeah, I mean that that seems to any if any of this to me, that seems like a possibility. It's that right, like Man's folly, Man's folly. I'll been on that every

single time. Yeah, I mean, I think it it it's and I know that this is not the conversation that we're having around it anymore, but it isn't unrelated to the suggestion that COVID was sort of born from a mishap in somebody's lab or or you know, mixing of bloods and chemicals and ship and now suddenly we have this virus. Do I believe that it happened in China?

That ain't my business, But do I do? I believe that human beings probably did a thing that they weren't supposed to do and that ultimately landed us in a spot where like a global pandemic happens absolutely at time. Yes, yeah, yeah, that's that's that's I'm if. If I have to pick one idea from this whole thing, I'm picking either old white ladies and cats or Zipolio. So just to be clear, because because you were very anti white, white are not white women being the type of people that would fuck

animals earlier? But you're saying, oh white women, you're making exceptions. They don't think they're I don't think they're sucking the cats. I think they're just the ship particles are wrong, got you? They got all kinds of blood and stuff, so yeah, they're touching those hairballs. I think these are fair arguments. I think I think you've brought up some legit potential things that some of these scientists, if nothing else, need

to wrestle with. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely yeah, you can't keep skipping this over. You gotta you gotta face it. Yeah, don't worry about space. We got some problems down here, you know. Yeah, solve things here and then you can go to space and buy Twitter or whatever the fuck you're planned to do. Well, David, we did it. I think this is I think this was a great inaugural episode for us. I think we've really nailed the whole thing. I think we really I think we really really got

to the bottom of some hard hitting issues. Fuck yeah, when we're gonna do this every week? This is the plan. Do you want to tell the folks where where they can find you and what cool ship you have going on? Oh? You know my Instagram? My Instagram is cool guy jokes, Sadie seven. I I got rid of Twitter because I was like, I couldn't handle it. My Instagram it's on there. I do stand up comedy and stuff. Hell yeah, go go follow David on Instagram. Go go follow him on

on Uh, I guess just Instagram, that's it. Look at his jokes wherever you can find those, and uh, you can always follow me at lens in Kerman and you can send us drops. You can send us conspiracy theories. You can send us your own bullshit at my Mama pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you. Otherwise, that's it, by bitch. Uncle Wild Bears were racist. They also players for posting money versions of many turkey stuff I can't tell me about