"Hairline Switch" with Janelle James

just so you respect me. Goddamn it, boys, gather round something to share with you. Everyone around the fireplace. I have a big announcement that your daddy ever tell you about this? Why chips racist? She's turning stuff I can't

tell me. Yeah, there it is. There it is, Ladies and gentlemen, here we are welcome to another phenomenal, devastating, thick booty episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we finally start that go fund me to recollect iced teas Ponytail. The man ain't been the same since they took his ponytail from him. We got to get that ponytail back by all means, by any coast, we will get iced tea back his ponytail. I am

your host, lakes Nick Herman. I am excited to be here. It is hot in my house. I ain't wearing no sleeves. We're getting it popping today. And my guest today apparently she's not wearing no shirt, which is very exciting for everyone involved. It's an audio podcast, but now you get to use your imagination, which is very fun. She's hilarious. She's just so fucking funny. You know from Netflix, you know from Black Monday. She's just hilarious. I'm a big fan.

Give it up from my guest today, Miss Janelle James. Oh yeah, I haven't felt applause and so long again one more time. I got It's nice, right, Yeah, you haven't done any of the you know, the outdoor shows. You haven't gone and ventured out. Two days ago it was my first one with Chelsea Handler. But it was such ah, it was such a huge ordeal and uh that I'm not sure. I'm still trying to figure out if I enjoyed it or not. It was so stressful.

First show in five months. That weird thing of like you're not comfortable doing your art the way that you used to do your art. Tacked on top of the fact that like you're putting couzies on top of your microphone from spreading germs, it's all very well, that's not even half of it. It was a shoot, not just a show. So it's a sad rules and it is intense so to you know, sanitize and audience and mask and isolation, and it's just like, yo, is this fun?

Just worth it? Yeah? I mean I got paid. I was like, I had told myself I wasn't gonna come venture out unless it's for a good amount of money. So they got me on that. But then I was just like, yo, this is this is crazy. I don't know if the money Now I'm like, I don't know if the money was right. It was so much, it was so much to deal with. So yeah, I feel like after a certain point of success, we're all asking ourselves, like, I don't know. I had planned on hitting there so quickly,

you know. So I once did a commercial where I dressed up like a giant piece of checks mix, and uh, I hit that prettier only in my career. I remember that. It's not a fond memory. I'm not brand commercial. Uh nope. Oh well okay. And it was the internet. It was like weird no websites only no, no, not even in residual checks to take the edge off your regret to be a whore. You know, we all do. The point

is we all make choices exactly. Well, I'm really excited you're here today because you came with a conspiracy theory that has been very near and dear to my heart for quite a while. And after some deliberating, we deliberated a little bit, but you can. I want to make sure we get this correct. You said. My mama told me black men with bad haircuts are perceived as safer in the eyes of white America. Is it a conspiracy

if it's true. Yeah, but that's what they say. I've heard it before, and I love that you picked it. Tell me where this comes from for you, well, my mama first, but also I think it perpetuates through Hollywood. Anytime the good guy steps on the scene, that hairline is is all the way funked up, you know what I mean. And so I think it's so almost anti black to be walking around with your head oh messed up.

That It's like you gotta be working on the other side, you know what I mean, or trying to not working on the other side, but trying to present yourself is differently then, right, So you're saying that to some extent, this is like the men or the people involved in this consenting to a shitty hairline for the sake of like getting in good with Hollywood. It started as a conspiracy and people are now using it, you know what I mean, just my just my theory. I listen, there's

no reason in the run from this. Let's dig deep and we all code switch. Some people here line switch, you know what I mean. You're trying to get trying to get exactly Exam James. Her voice on the phone calls some of y'all tell your barber a, don't touch that. I'm trying to get up to the VP spot. You know. So I got my I love that. Wait, your mother has this opinion, she shares this conspiracy theory. Now I was lying. I was just trying to go with just

playing along. Good. Yeah, my mother, I'm from the Island, so we I don't know what our conspiracy theory. We just have a lot of sayings that are rooted in religion bullshit that I can Yeah, but this one is I picked because I've definitely no, it's a thing. Sure, let's start digging into examples, because I do feel like even for our white listeners, we have to imagine that some of them are even confused about what a good

hairline is. Do you know what I mean? Like, I can't imagine that that half the time they even know when a black man has us. I would say, look at any recent upgrade on the NBA. You know it's an NBA that was looking a little different than they were a couple of years ago. That's the new version is the good hairline. That's that's Look at you trying to keep your money by not saying Lebron James, I was very professional of you. You're like, I have to dress as a Graham packer next to him in a

commercial coming up. You don't know, you don't know he sometimes you know, might right be a check I'm gonna be, but you never know. When the individuals crossover into a comedic comedy or whatever, they always crossed the no. But I might have to meet this dude one day, you never know. But yeah, an Janelle James jam too. Oh my god, I wish anyway, don't we all? But I

totally agree. I think that to some extent, Uh, there was a celebration of a lot of NBA or sort of big celebrity figures at the point that their hair looked shitty or is continuing to look shitty. Complicated, We'll sure. Yeah, I was just gonna say, white people want to know what we're trying to achieve here as far as perfection, look to the ones that were paid for right there you go that look okay, look there, Well that's okay.

Now you're explaining something. So so a old lebron is what we're fighting again, current lebron is what we are trying to achieve. I've said it. I've said it a few times in other places, but I genuinely believe that Jalen Rose made a deal with the devil to have the hairline that he has. It is magnificent. This dude up. Oh you don't know Jalen Rose. No, I'm not a

big forceman ever exists. He's more famous for being an Indiana pacer and then getting uh, well he wasn't a pacer at the time, but he took eighty one points from Kobe. Kobe scored eighty one points on the man and now he's a commentator. And this is an example of a great heirline. It's what you're saying is fantastic. Oh. I'm like, wait a minute, what do you okay? I thought you were saying the opposite. I'm like, well, ship, what's the good one? If this is awful? This, yeah,

this is pretty fucking perfect. It's the perfect airline. And I have to believe that he did something. He murdered an orphan to get it. Oh he forty seven with this strong ass headline something going on? Uh something at and I'm looking at a picture of his younger self and he had a low he had the almost a buzz cut. What's that? Like? What's the call when the five o'clock shadow on your ball fade? And the headline it's Chris listen, it's never moved, It's never in forty

seven years. This is a conspiracy right here, Jalen roses him. That's all that ship. Wow, what blood did you drink to get that haircut to stay exactly where it is in forties seven years. Oh my goodness, I am amazing this conspiracy specifically, I think was presented under the guys

of black men. But do you find that that also applies to women, that black women in Hollywood are forced to sort of consent too bad hair on ourselves, yeah, or just you know, white people sort of like wanting that look so well, you know, I definitely switch up, switch up the wigs depending on what I'm trying to

go for it. You know, since the girl gets uh braids or you know, uh color, you know, corporate, corporate lady gets gets the wig, you know, the straight relaxed here, maybe a little fair or falset and fair little uh, what's it? A little scandal little carry Washington. That's kind of standard the last couple of years. I got you. So you think the sisters in general are getting a little more grace when it comes to their hair, that they're having more options to choose. I don't know. In Hollywood,

I mean, I don't know if it's grace. We're all also constantly trying to figure out what hairstyle is least scary to white people, or or or just the right enough black that they're like, Okay, we got a black person but not too black that she's gonna call us on our ship. Right, if you twist that all the way to the scout that you're gonna cause some problems, it's gonna be tighter or you know what I mean, she's not gonna like my jokes and ship, you know,

so that's fair. I think what's fascinating in this conspiracy theory, or certainly has so much to explore in this conspiracy theory, is what the intention of the sort of white Hollywood is in controlling black hair. Do you know what I mean? Like, what what's your goal here? What is what are you ultimately trying to achieve in your control of black hair, well diversity without being too diverse? Mm hmmm without without I don't know what's scary to h I mean, there's

pretty conceived notions about different types of hairstyles. So if you got dreads, you're radical, or you smoke weed, or you know, if you're natural, maybe you in the front of the Black Lives Matter protests or whatever they think, which isn't necessarily true, but in Hollywood don't really move quickly. So the same stereotypes they had in the eighties are the same one they judging us by. Now you know, I changed my hair every five seconds, so whoever, who

am I? But you know, I'm sure you show up to work and they're like, that's a new lady girl, so fast it was you had a bob yesterday and it's down to your Black people are amazing black girl magic. Anyway, I think you're making a very valid point that so much of this is rooted in like antiquated stereotypes, right that, like what white people were scared of in nineties six about black associations and hairstyles is still the exact same

thing that they're pretty much afraid of today. I feel like, you know, outside of Hollywood, it's still true that white people don't have many encounters with black people, so they still everything they believe is still what's on TV or what they saw back then, and then I don't think they until recently even went out of their way to see us, So it's just what they happened to see in a movie with a black person one time. You know,

they're not necessarily seeking out black entertainment. Always say that this what's happening now with diversity and always having to include a black person or one of each and all of that, I don't know. Sure, I'm happy for the work, but I don't know if that makes better products. And it's not realistic because a lot of white people they hang out with people that look like them. It's it's yeah, I hate when I'm watching a white production and then here it comes as black dude, Like yo, what like

they would never be friends? You know what I mean? And you don't have to trick me. You don't have to wedge this person in here because you feel bad about not casting someone, Like like writing the story with a black person in it just right. You write the story you know how to write, and hopefully the story you know how to write includes black people. But it shouldn't just be you turn this into a black character for a reason. And what would happen in the eighties

is not eighties. In the nineties with the black guy that would show up with the hey what up would always have a blacks haircut, would always have a wack haircut. And I think that's just stuck right, And I think part of it is like you can't have the one dude show up who's like the best friend and he looks sexy and flexy. You tried to show up and look like average and something that can fade into the background.

We don't need this mother. Well. Also, I think just from experience, dudes, black dudes, who's walking around with them type of head cuts? Grew up around white people. They're going up, what's the what's supercut? Super cut? Exactly? They and you know, letting barb cut here or whatever. I mean, I've lived in the neighborhoods like that. Wh there's no

black barbershop where else you're gonna go, you know. So uh as a as a I've only been a victim once, but as a former victim of super cuts, I can say I can say that it's never going to turn out to be the experience you wanted to be. I wouldn't imagine why you would think that, but you know, when you're a boy growing up in the suburbs, you get desperate. You start to think, like, I want to look good. Maybe this this white lady can help me out.

I've done my kids old school where I just went on some YouTube beds and said, let me figure out how to cut this ship, because I don't know. I mean, at a certain point, my mom was cutting my hair, and she wasn't good at it, and YouTube didn't exist, so it was like she's just like making some ship up and it wasn't helping. And then I thought like, oh, I'm gonna be a big boy and independent and try this on my own. And you know, you you funk up. But so did they cut your hair with the scissors?

Of course, that's that's where they start. And then you walk out You're like, okay, line me up, and then you got bangs. For some reason, it's just you know, I feel like that's the writer passage from black people here, Like I've definitely sat down in a white woman's chair, Like actually that just happened to me on sat where it's so funny because because of YouTube. This is off topic, but because of YouTube, and I appreciate it. You know, there's the white hair solids are trying to learn about

black hair more. And this woman was so proud of having some edge control gel like she pulled it out, Like before she pulled it out, her face was beaming. I was like, what was she about to pull out? Because she was like, I'm about to fucking blow this chick's mind, like and she pulled out this edge control and brush, and she's like, should I do your edges? And I just she couldn't wait to say that, you know, she was up all night and look how nice I am. I said, sure, I ain't need a head that ship.

But I was like, you look so excited to crack up and it was fresh, not one fingerprinting that ship. I was the first. She killed it, no meaning when she opened the gael, I was obviously the first. She hadn't even put her finger in it yet it was a fresh move surface. I was the first edges she had ever brushed down. She was cracking the seal on this edge control jel exactly. She was waiting for you and and to your point, that's very nice that she tried.

But whatever. The more wanted alternative is that they left black people into the unions for her styling on sets. But anyway, so that would be so ideal, I too have had some horrifying that stories where it's just like you show up and they don't have a black barber, and if they do, it's not really a black barber. It's just like somebody who qualifies as being able to do ethnic hair, which doesn't mean anything. It's like you know what I mean, goddamn thing, black hair, That's what

I want. Do you know how to be a nigga and a barbershop? Can you cut my hair while you tell me about you cheating on your wife? The kind of energy I need to get a solid hair, do you know what I mean? So that brings us back to our conspiracy and that I think part of the reason black dudes with horrible haircuts are more palatable and safer to white people is that they know that they're not experiencing the indoctricate nation or what it is, the

indoctor nation of black barbershops. Who knows what they think it's happening in there. Probably they think we in there getting radical make plans with each other. WHOA wait, I'm must Let's take a step back. I really thought about this. You might have just you might have just cracked open something that I need you to really explore this. This brings me to a section of the show that I like to call talk that talk, and what you're suggesting

is groundbreaking in a way that I never expected. So, Janelle, I'm gonna give you thirty seconds, thirty seconds to just break down exactly what you mean about this potential indoctrination

from the black barbershop. Whenever you're ready, I'm ready. So I think black barbershops is one of the few spaces that white people have not gentrified, and so they don't know what the fund is happening in there, and usually just based on behaviors that and things that are happening and have always happened, they for whatever reason, having their head that anytime we're left to our own devices, that

we're plotting against them. So if you're in a barbershop with the fresh fade oh and don't have a fresh line up all the time, I mean you and this so much who knows what you're there? Are scary, scared of the unknown, which is is the basis for a lot of basing. There is oh man, that okay, compute now, okay that oh now you crack something open, because I

think that's exactly right. I think there's this constant fear of what we're doing without them, and so they are essentially making us get our haircut by white people or by sort of like their insiders, so that they can avoid the risk that we're constantly treading in this space

that they're afraid to enter. On their own, and then there's a constant risk that maybe if I'm alone with my barber, I'm gonna be planning some sort of like terrorist attack against the the white community who by a dude who has bad opinions about like women and Lebron Like I don't. It doesn't have to be all that well, you know, I found that white people think we think about their way more than we do, So that's what

I think is happening. Uh, honestly, this changed everything for me and I I've got more reading to do because this is powerful. All Right, We're gonna take a break and then we're gonna be back with more Janelle James and more, my mama told me. And we are bad anyway. Yeah, We're back here with more Janelle James and more. My mama told me. We're still talking about those trash gass hairlines that Hollywood approves and allows people to excel in their careers based on the fucked up linings that they

put out in the world. Do you think this extends beyond Hollywood? Do you think that this goes into other spaces of six? Yeah, I mean every big purchase I've ever made that was from a black man was with a dude with a hairline. My car, my house is always a guy, come on back, got the papers for you? That those only people that they let get the papers, you know what I mean? So I ain't never bought

nothing expensive from a sharp airline, right. I started thinking about it in terms of like politicians, right, even beyond politics, like he sort of like massive figures in history, Barack Obama not that great of a hairline, Martin Luther King Jr. Ain't nobody talking about that faith Nelson Mandela? Do you think they would let him be Nelson Mandela if he didn't have that slick back afro? Do you you know what

I mean? Like I will say stuff. I will say Barack just like his of takes really walk the line of his hairline, Like he has a hairline, but he ain't too sharp, you know what. He's laughing to laugh like that's his that's his play. That's exactly right. And we're not gonna you know that, we're not gonna roast him. But then white people are like, Okay, well it's fuzzy, it's funny. Sometimes he was like, hey, line me up, but don't you hit them corners there? Hit them corners.

You leave them corners, so exactly, I can't afford for these motherfucker's to get uncomfortable with my corners. I feel like that's how he lives life right in the middle, right middle real by Raciel oh Man. That hurts my feelings. I have some research that I love to unpack with you, because I do think that there's a lot of legitimacy

to this conspiracy theory. One of the things that I found, one of the as we were measuring success, I guess the easiest sort of like a measure of success or clearest measure of success, was to go to the Forbes list of billionaires, right, And of the two thousand, one hundred and fifty three people listed on the Forbes list of billionaires last year, that's saying that, no, you're right, hundred people are billionaires. That doesn't even make sense. But

go ahead. So I'm sorry, and we're out here starving and freezing, and by we, I mean y'all. I'm fine. But the point is, oh, it's coming for us. It is I'm not I'm not far enough into any game to get to be exactly from this exactly, But so of the people, thirteen of them are black in the world. Of those thirteen, that's another I'm surprised. Oh, it's more than you expect, more than I thought. I wouldn't even think they would let that many of us get there,

for sure. Yeah, they let thirteens slip through. And of those thirteen, all thirteen of them are black men with trash hairlines or that's the that's the breakdown. I think there's another lady in there, but that's not the way the bits go. And every single one of them, I'll read you something. Some of them are concrete tycoons and Michael Jordan's and uh yeah, I'm looking now, these are dudes. They just put on the number five guard and go straight back. Just run this through. I'm gonna just run

this through like a comb just straight back. Hey man, hit me with that lawnmower and keep it moving. Time I have to go shut down an orphanage room. Take the perimeter, just take it down to take the shrubbery. You know, I think to your point, there's not a lot of evidence of like a dude at the highest level of at least certainly like financial success. Right that looks like he goes to a black barbershop. I'm telling you, it's all around the barbershop. These dudes are not known.

I mean, you're a billionaire. First of all, you have your own barber, but this you ain't in the shop getting indoctuated, being around other brothers. You're already a billionaire, so you're already a black billionaire. So you're already isolated. So your only careers of other white people, you know what I mean. You can't be in there with the waves and a wave cap, like get out of here.

And at that point, who are you doing it for? Right? Like, if, like you said, if my peers are all white people who gives the fun straight hair line, they can't tell the difference. Now, I will say I was surprised that jay Z went locks after billionaire. That's almost like a little fuck you if you think about it. I mean, jay Z wasn't known for his hair to begin with. True that, true that, But he's gone like in a real wacky way right now that you know I was

surprised about. I almost jay Z is a fascinating one though, because I do you think he's almost playing both sides right, because you see this dude who now, like you said, he sort of has like this afro lock sort of look now, which makes him very like connected to Africa and blackness and all this other stuff, while simultaneously having a hairstyle that you see on like Cheerios commercials, do

you know what I mean? Like they put like a curly haired black man in the Cheerios commercial and make him, uh say, how yummy honey is on his oaks? And I knew jay Z crossed over when he I saw footage of him. I think it was he was at a basketball game with Beyonce and the story was about how they must have had an argument because Beyonce had

a bad look on her face or something. But what I noticed was at one point, jay Z spots another I can only assume super rich friend across the way, and he waved at them in his hands straight out and just did the fingers. That's that's I was like, that's not Brooklyn, Blyn, Jason. Jay Z is waving like to the lou Yes, a real fucking Samantha asked, wiggle figure a real see you at the tennis courts tomorrow type wave, and I was like, oh, they got him.

So so that's what makes the hair confusing because he is definitely playing both sides. I mean, I don't think he I think jay Z is a smart enough dude to be aware that life. All right. I can't be a trash hairline guy, but I can be sort of like this weird acartistic going in. I collect paintings now technia. Yeah, I get it, yep, I love this. And there's so many other great examples of people who have reached sort of like a weird peak with like terrible hairlines. Tiger

Woods is a great example. But he did he have a claim us. I don't think that Tiger ever said he was what me had a black daddy. It's hard not to that was his best friend. I don't think that he wanted to, but right, I mean, I ain't pushing black on nobody don't want it. So that's why you ain't you only trying to say, be proud about it, that I don't want you. But I just don't remember him ever saying that he's black. So he had a headline fall like it. That's fair. I'm gonna read you

a quote claim him. You're not with me no more time. I'm not gay, no more Tiger? You something else? Right,

He's his own category, which is fine. So this has been an ongoing issue, so much so that in Hollywood Reporter wrote an article called Hollywood's black hair problem on set We've all cried in our trailers, which basically chronicles like sort of and it's primarily women, but it chronicles the exactly what you were talking about, Yes, black women sort of being cast and then not having hairstylists on the other side to show up already done exactly, And

that's one of the things that people say. In the article, Natasha Rothwell talks a lot about how she has to wake up an hour early from the time she would have normally woke up just so she could do her hair, show up on set and not let them like do something way worse to it. Again, off topic, because this is about male hellines, but this also goes to white people not being around us. They don't even know what

our hair is supposed to look like. You know what I mean, I've purposely showed up on set looking fucked, Like if I walked into a black room, y'all would be like, what the fun I've purposely gone on set and being like, no, I'm good and have the hair stylist look at me and like you look great, Like they have no idea. Yeah, they're like, okay, I have to be like, no, I'm joking. I just woke up. Then they're like, oh, because they just don't know. Oh

thank god, I hated what I saw, but I didn't know. Yeah, not even that they hated that. They just don't know. Yeah, they just don't know. I don't like the Oh, if you don't have any black friends, you not that, because there's many places in America where you can walk around for days and not see one of us, you know what I mean. So, but once you get up into Hollywood and you and we're on set, these are things we have to even have someone who knows for they

have to be trained. They're not training them to do our hair, which means that this is an industry that was set up with no thought of us ever being in it, right, you know, I think that's exactly right. And this is where it gets even more fascinating for me, is that this conversation extends well beyond the industry, right that, Like, there's so many different examples of sort of this war

on black hair in other spaces. For example, a student is sent home from Christ the King Elementary School in Terrytown, Louisiana, because she's wearing box braids. They basically just decide box

braids are wrong. For a different time in two thousand and eighteen, where a six year old a six year old is sent home band from school because he has locks, and the principal like justifies this as being a rule that's been in the schools like doctrine since nineteen seventy one, and he's like, dude, I'm the first black person hit right, right, I never it's a racial band. You're just asking it under a protective hairstyle, right. And this is also again,

this is fair of the unknown. They don't know what these hairstyles means. It makes them uncomfortable. It's not they're not around it. They don't. It's too different, it's too black, and it reminds them that we exists. Basically, yes, and to your earlier point, nineteen seventy one was when you established this rule, because you're basing it off of fears that existed in nine seven exactly, like, we're not even afraid of the same ship that we were afrash in

nineteen seventy one. We were afraid that Russians were gonna knuke us through like weird satellites in the sky. Now we know they're gonna knoke us through like elections, elections and weird emails and Facebook messages, and it's a completely different world. And they're more of a poisoning kind of people rather than nukes. And now we're finding out, you know, that's their thing. We would see the bombs they do.

They're more poison people, you know, correct yourself, yeah, update, But talking about I mean, this is also entertainment industry. But I feel like the patron saint of safe hairstyles. It's Bill Cosby, Bill Tosby and every dude that he had on that show. Yes, Elvin, Elvin's thirty campus, trash that hitcut, the dude in the military, Denise's husband, trash like that never had a sweet line up on them. If anyone of them girls showed up with a do rag nigga and lost his mind, yeah, I think that's

now you're talking. Now you're really talking. Because THEO was about to go on a date wearing a Gordon Guard trail and had a trash lineup. He wouldn't even let thee have a real flat top it was like it was an afro that he panted into a flat. Uh, he shaped into a flat And I think Cosby knew

the whole time. Cosby was the king of of sort of like respectability politics, and that man knew that if he had THEO looking too much like Jalen Rose, THEO was not an endearing character to his white audience exactly that it would have It would have been a special episode. THEO gets a line UPO gets a lineup and gets kicked out of the family. He like, you've been over to Flatbush. You know who cut your hair? Was like in a Clinton Hill or something, right, Yeah, he was

like Brooklyn Heights. So that that episode, THEO went across the tracks, Tosh or whatever. It got a haircut, and now the whole family got to do a dance to convince him to come back. THEO took the two train too far, and now we don't know if we s anymore, right, all right? So in two thousand nineteen, and this is interesting,

Corey Booker into another trash hairline. Uh. Corey Booker introduced the Crown Act, which is an act meant to protect against discrimination based on hair, specifically for black people with tightly coiled or protective styles. Uh, And it's only been accepted since two thousand nineteen in three states California, New York, and New Jersey. Everybody else can still fire you or keep you from a school based on your hair if they want to. And let me tell you that this

was a conscious choice. But this is why comedy has been such a relief for me, because I've had corporate jobs and worked in offices, and I just cannot see me as myself as an adult, having other adults telling me what to do with my head. It's just it's so demeaning. It's so demeaning, it's so Uh. You take people's humanity, like become be this other thing in order

to earn money for the job that you're doing. Right, take And I think that's such an important point because I think at the essence of what we're talking about is an ability to take away someone's confidence, right, the thing that makes them feel most themselves. Oftentimes we look exactly and so I do think to your earlier point, this is like an intentional want to damage our confidence

and keep us in this place of emotional disarray force assimilation. Yeah, so either you look a little ashy, you look a little bummy, or you look your best, but you're not welcome in you know, whatever country. And also your best intimidates me. I don't like you looking better than me. Yeah, we'll look better than a black man shined up, flinging charm. He's spinning your wife out at the company picnic and

ship she giggling. Nobody wants that. Have come in here with this fun up line up and stop intimidating me. That's why I'm scared to put in the James bond. Come on, who do you want to follow him? They because they know that white tuxedo that's gonna look better on that chocolate skin than anybody. But Idris gets bond, his love interest is gonna be the blackest bitch on

the planet. It's they will never let him. It just blows up the whole, just the whole theory that this is like the best thing if you make him bonded, so you have to keep him sort of, you know, they need him be loother. It's also it's him with a trans hairline. That's the only difference. I mean, he pulls it off. But anyway, all right, put your loins away, let's focus on the argument here we over there, let's forgot I ain't got no shirt on, and I forgot I bumped up on the table for a menu and

got excited. My bad um. But in his British luthor, yeah, all his love interests are white women. I don't know if you know that, and his sidekicks are black women. I'm saying if they did a bond that was a US based production, they would not let him have a white love interest. I don't It wouldn't be alec wet or something like that you would have to have because part of it is again where the theory being that certain white people are still afraid of old uh stereotypes.

The black buck that's coming to still your woman really does play into that. So right, my guesses is that if they make him the bond that he deserves to be, they're probably going to give him like some vaguely ethnically like sort of ambiguous woman, give him like a Preanka Chopra what I mean, and let that be his love interest that doesn't offend them as much as black women do. For whatever reason, the idea of black women having sex

consensually is very upsetting to Hollywood. That's a whole other bagga. Yeah, yeah, it gets sad at the end. I get that. All right, We're gonna take another break and we'll be back with more Janelle James and more of My mama told me we are back. I got bron guidance. Ain't nobody got time for that. We're back here with more. My mama

told me more Janelle James. We have I think fully unpacked the possibility that this is all rooted in a fear of the black barbershop and really a fear of black revolution that they, the white people, think is coming out of the black barbershop. It's all scary and exciting. I love where we're headed. And you know, jokes on them because those heirlines, I mean, I feel like that's some undercover spoship. Okay, okay, I like where this is going.

Tell me more. So you trust in the fun up headlines, but they know what they're doing to get up in your spaces. Yeah, you you fucked up my airline, but you didn't take my mind from me. Still connected to a comm I'm still working with a people. So yeah, okay, that's right. You made my hairline look like sharp teeth. But guess what, motherfucker. I'm gonna go report back everything I've learned on set or in this community or in

this boardroom channel Barbershop Network. We gonna get you, motherfucker. Oh my god. All right, let's play a game. I have a fun game that I like to play. This game is called lies Ugly, You're disgusting. I'm gonna kill you. Give me two. This is white Lines. It's a it's a fun game where I will introduce to you, Janelle, a traditional white conspiracy, a very famous white conspiracy. And then I would like you to take the time to

unpack that conspiracy, really break it all down. Why do you think white people care about this conspiracy so much? What are these sneaky motherfucker's up to? Yeah, but your goofy on, Uh, put on, light up your eyes, do whatever you gotta do to really to really open that third eye. And let's get into this. Have you ever

heard of the conspiracy Paul is dead? No? Okay, so there is a conspiracy a claim that the Beatles member Paul McCartney in nineteen sixty six died in a car crash, and uh he was replaced by a man named Billy Shears who looked like him and then became the Paul

McCartney we now know today. This has been spread over decades of Beatles, you know whatever conspiracies, and so much so that even in the cover of Abbey Road they claimed that Paul is wearing a suit that signifies him at his funeral and he has no shoes on as he's crossing Abbey Road, which I guess implies that he is. I don't know, Barefield get buried and you don't get buried in shot. Yeah, listen, I don't get what they're doing. But what I would love for you to do is

explained to me. Why after decades of this conspiracy continuing, why it is so important that white people believe that Paul McCartney died in that car crash. That's a tough one because it makes absolutely no sense, But so they the conspiracy is that they want to believe that he's dead. Maybe they know that they've founded him and the Beatles, and you know, it's such bad because the Beatles were the Michael Jackson of their time, you know what I mean,

right right? They were the biggest, they were the baddest, they were all the things I would think a better conspiracy would be that he faked his death or something like that to get away from the limelight and he was tired of the of the business and then kind of like Tupac is in in on an island chilling, right, Okay, that Paul McCartney just wanted out from thee. I can't even wrap my mind around this conspiracy that he's dead and replaced for what for what purpose? Is are the

Beatles still touring? Is he's still collecting right? Right at this point Paul McCartney just shows up on S and L every day. He was he murdered? Is that part of the conspiracy that well, it was that the car

crash killed him on accident. It wasn't on purpose. And so instead of I think the hope or at least what they're suggest thing is that instead of losing the Beatles and their front man, right because him and Lennon were basically like they just they just happened to have a ringer just ready to jump in, just just ready at the ready, because they had already thought about this, like what if if fall dies, we're gonna who we're gonna have because we're blowing up right now and I

can't suck this money up. So, like, I'm that's that is fun to believe that every famous artist has a double placement dude, that that the evil record company just has on standby, like y'all at about to sunk up this money. We now, we gotta finish this towards Billy. You up like you're saying Bruno Mars was in a plane crash. Well that's you, James. You gotta come on, you gotta go do your job. You see how fast they got Kevin Hard out of that car accident, Like, yeah, okay,

I mean conspiracy right, know what happened with that whole situation? Uh, Kevin? I respect you and would love to work on the movie with you. Later you'll see Janelle and Pets three coming out. Fingers motherfucking crossed. Um. I think this is a fascinating train to go down that Hollywood does have fixers. I do believe in that people that make things happen, and but I don't know why people would want to

believe this conspiracy. Well, I think to your point, it really is the maintaining of the status quo, right that, like, as long as this person continues to exist and and these entities seem unharmed and unchanged. We have our power at the point that they seem fallible, they can be broken suddenly. Our power is not as everlasting. And yeah, kind of. But the conspiracy is that people think he's

dead though, so it's not. They don't believe that this current Paul McCartney, who I just googled, that's on a canoe on a river somewhere enjoining quarantine. They don't think that's him. Sense to me, right, But that's the Internet, right, or that's the Internet of old. I think that the powers, what is their motivation for it? I think their want is to maintain status quo. To your point, why do random people want to believe that? Right? That's the part

that scares me. I can understand wanting to believe to Pocket is still alive, but wanting to believe that Paul McCartney is dead and it's now replaced And it's not even some out there conspiracy like he's been replaced by lizard person or an alien or or anything. It's a man named Jimmy she Dude, it's not. It's not even a sexy name. Nobody gets morny for Jimmy Shears. They find him in a hotel lobby and a Beatles cover band, and they say, hey, get those shoes off. We're gonna

need to make a weird album cover. We wanted to be dead, but we want to tell people a secret that he alive. I mean the whole thing. Don't ask questions. There's got some money, We'll leave some little hints and everywhere we go, you'll you'll be Paul from down. Yeah, we don't give a fuck. We're willing to risk it all for a little old Marges towards well, Janelle. I think we did it. Could think we nailed it. This was a fantastic episode. Could you tell the people where

they can find you any cool stuff you have going on? Yeah? You can find me on line and in my online you know, and in my house basically because I'm in quarantine like everybody else. Uh. But watch Black Monday. Uh, I'm on season two and it's a fantastic black as show and I'm I'm proud of it. Watch my Netflix uh comedy lineup? Uh, I don't know, Google me. I'm out there. Yeah, Google she's out there, and uh Netflix her Netflix specialist hilarious Black Monday. Listen to my album

Black and Mild. The comic just offered to pay me to listen to my album, which is like it's Quarantine dropping everybody crazy that's crazy, and will send their email over to me. I was touched, but but yeah, listen to that. It's the thing I'm most proud of. And I guess my kids too or whatever. But yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess my kids cool. But Black and Mild, that's where I really feel like I nailed it. I kill

that ship. All right, Well, this has been another episode of my Mama told me once again, follow us and and like and subscribe on whatever platforms you do that ship. Oh and last thing, if you have anything that you would like to send us, drops, artwork, alien, dick pis, whatever it may be, please send those to my Mama pot at gmail dot com. I would love to see it. I would love to read it. I would love to experience it and potentially play it in one of our episodes.

Have a good day because my cron chips in yours a qualms are racist, the ossy money marshals many turning stuff. Really, I can't tell me