Getting Some Hairy Head (with Reggie Conquest)

Simmons together, bro, just halfing each other up. Like Madam Ben Simmons. Ships are racist, ahostly money term stuff can't tell me. Yep, yep, yep, there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we died deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we finally work to prove that the music industry is intentionally drugging rappers with the name little in their title so that

they stay small forever. Do you think that Little bow Wow, Little Wayne, Little Zine, all these people happened coincidentally? Hell no, Little Zine planned to be six ft five, but those goddamn super producers got in his cavassier and they turned that motherfucker into a tiny, little four ft seven petitue. Bitch. It's a goddamn shame what's happened into these rappers, and we've got to put a stop to it. I am your host, Langston Kerman as always coming in the way.

I come in hot, baby, It's every single goddamn time. This is the way I behave and I am excited today because my guest, My god, he comes in hot too. I ain't listen. The man is funny. The man is funny. He always comes in hot. He doesn't know how to use technology, so you know he's gonna say some wild ship. He's not even aware of the rules of the Internet.

This boy is so wild, but he's he's hilarious. You know him from that damn Michael Ja you know, and from Insecure, you know, and from Pause with Sam J. So many amazing fun shows and he's always hysterical. Please give it up from my guest, Mr Reggie Conquest. Yeah, man, what's going on? What up? Doug? How you like? I know how to use as far as downloading impressing like play or snap. I'm still learning how to do reels. Man, I don't know how to do that. I'll be honest.

I have not ventured into any of the eels. The TikTok's none of that ship. I downloaded TikTok one time. It was only for an hour and I got rid of it, and I'm like, this is way too much. Yeah, it's it's a it's a scary transition. I think, like you really have to be down to commit to that ship. And I can't be the one, you know what I mean. I can't. Yeah, I'm not gonna do. After I do a video and then realize I have to do it a second time, I feel like an asshole, and then

I just give up. Yeah, Yo, snaps is the ship. I think the best thing on the social media right now is snaps. Yes, like that's that's my favorite thing to use. Just go out. Yeah I can go on Instagram. Yeah I can get on Instagram if it wasn't for snaps. I love the snaps. Oh, you would completely walk away if you could. Just if it was only posting photos, You'll be like, no, I'm good, Yeah photos, I'm done posting. I'll post them every now and then, but the snaps

are my ship. Yeah yeah, I gotta get back. I gotta snap more. I'll snap occasionally and it's fun, but I gotta get you are a heavy hitter in the snap game. I gotta get up to your level. I

love the snap stuff. At first I wasn't, but now I'm like, all right, let me just you know, yeah, all right, Well, we don't have any more time to talk about social media shenanigans because you came today with a conspiracy theory that that I know I heard endlessly growing up, and I can't wait to talk to you about. You said, my mama told me eating makes your big grow. Yes, yes, that's a myth. That's a conspiracy I've heard all through

my even now. You know how crazy that was the type to your producer like she I was like, yo, I don't even know how to save this, Like I was like, how do you? Why we And that's the first thing that came to mind, because, as you know, I've been trying to grow beer for a long time, trying to be uh a phi niked because that's that's I feel like that is quite essential. Philly is to

grow a thick beard. Yeah, and you know that's in But I got patches, and every time I post my beard, I get messages you gotta you gotta eat pussy, You gotta eat pussy. Eat enough as it's the same ship every time, or some girl like i'll help you girl beer Like yeah, he's just trying to get your pussy. I'm not just going. So it's been around for years and we need to dat it. Dat it. I literally heard that when I was a kid and thought that I had to eat pussy to get a mustache or

a facial. Yeah. Young and old say the same ship. Yeah, well that's it's a wild thing if we can track it backwards to what you're talking about right now. It's a wild thing. The age at which this conversation is introduced. Do you know what I mean that? Like I was like twelve thirteen when the first person was like, hey, man, if you want a mustache, this is what you gotta do. And it's like, I'm twelve, I don't want a mustache, and if I do want one, you don't matter. I ain't.

Nobody's just like taking me as like a big man, like I'm a kid. Yeah, it's like, yeah, when I first I remember hearing it when I first started to grow, like some peach fuzz, and then from old dudes like to look at the young boy. You you have to eat pussy, like like some old dude, like one of my dad's friends. Even my dad would be on it like they'll do that, my dad. Yeah, you know, I wasn't eating pussy at all. That wasn't even in my mind. Yeah.

It's also I think to that same point, when I was thinking about sex, it wasn't the first version of sex that I was interested in or even considering, like eating pussy. I had to earn that. I had to fuck a couple of women, be wh I I fully felt like, okay, I could try some other ship. I was still figuring out how to like get it in and keep it alive long enough to do it. I was a fat nigger, like growing up, fat kid, fat nigga, so I had I started out eating pussy just just whoa, yeah,

just like cold water. Goddamn minute, you're telling me the first thing you did was the pussy. Yeah, I had to eat pussy to get pussy. I was. I was that fat kid. I was that fat. Yeah, dog dog In tenth grade. I remember I was eating this senior out who was supposed to be tutoring me. I lost my I lost my virginie in tenth grade. Right took me a while, but I was eating this girl out who was supposed to be tutoring me. She was a senior,

and I just started. I was just eating her out, like, you know, that's just that was my first whoa dog? And that then later on, you know, I lost my virginity to her. But for like a year straight, she was supposed to be tutoring me, and she was like she was and she was like she was dope, like she was I at the time, I'm in tenth grade. I'm like, I thought I was cool and I'm like my first like, yeah, y'all sucking. I'm like yeah, but I wasn't having I didn't penetrate, were just looking at all.

You were just pleasuring her and then uh tucking your penis in your belt like And I thought I was cool ship because she was bad. She was a senior and I was just like this, but I'm gonna be real with you. I can't tell if that's the story of a hero or a psychopath. For the first thing you do sexually to be eating pussy, the first thing like and that you know, growing up watching imploring, that's

what they did. So I'm like, all right, bet, yeah, nobody's ever gonna accuse you of not loving women, man, just and i want to clarify some of this because I'm sure I'm gonna get pushed back from a bunch of people. It's not the question of whether or not eating pussy is a good thing. It's a lovely thing that I enjoyed quite a bit. But as a young man, it is not something that we are trained to feel comfortable with. We're not encouraged to do it. It's a

thing that we associate with facial here. But it also was a thing that we're shamed for if we do too earlier to uh frivolously all that. Oh yeah, that was a thing like being eating pussy in high school? Was you ashamed? Yes, like you was definitely shamed. So I didn't want to I didn't tell my friends that I was eating a pussy, right, I'm like, yeah, you know,

we know, but I absolutely was. And she taught me she would like this, like this, like this, And I did that for a while, and then we like had sex like yeah twice, and then that was like how I lost my regim whoa. So after the sex, she she bailed on you. She left you after that after like we had the second time, because this was off into the summer, graduation or whatever. Yeah, she had other ship and I was barely making it into a leventh

grade because the tutoring wasn't helping. Yeah, the tutor wasn't helping. So you know, she eventually moved off, but she definitely gave me some pussy after that because I was eating her out almost every time we had a session, you know what I mean. Goddamn, I wanted to. I was like, my friends think I'm sucking this this fine senior and you know, yeah, and you're not not like you're getting some sex sexual activity. It's just not what your friends

think it is. Yeah. It took me a while to even admit this, Like I told my friends later, like I wasn't I was what. I didn't admit that until I was like thirty. You know what I mean, him, this is wow, this is intent. All that time I was hearing that theory, and I wasn't growing facial hair. I just always heard it. Yeah, So at that point, as as you are fully eating pussy at fifteen and attempting to not only pleasure or the older woman, but also grow some facial hair, it's not working. Do you

then dismiss the theory? Are you then like this is bullshit. I don't believe it. I'm over it. No. I started to even hearing it in middle school, and I started to believe it because at in my tenth grade I started I started to have a mustache. So when I when I was eating Lizzy, I was proud of it, like, yeah, you know it works. It's at that time I'm like, it's true, Like I got like mustache, bro, like you can't.

Then my gotie started to grow, and I was always a gotee guy, so I'm like, yeah, this should It's efficient, you know what I mean? Right? So you are growing that more as chestnut and you're like, yeah, I got it, I'm doing it. Yeah, absolutely, damn Okay. And at any point, I guess and this is this is always where I

feel curious about this. At any point did anyone come into your life and try to overrule this argument, because I feel like I distinctly remember being in health class, and this dude Walter asking our health teacher if this was true, if eating pussy meant that you could grow facial hair. And I think I remember our health teacher either kicking him out of class or telling us that it's hormones that are hormones are the thing that make us grow facial hair and eating pussy had nothing to

do with it. She might have done both. She might have dismissed it and also kicked Walter out of class. She kicked him out for that. I would have been all ears for that answer, sure, but you know, I think it was probably the way he asked that that didn't sit right in her spirit. It wasn't the question as much of it, and being like, hey but what about eating pussy? Though? And then he that probably killed in the classroom too. It probably was. It probably was

so worth getting kicked out. Listen, I don't remember his name on accident. That was the funniest motherfucker I ever met at that point in my life. So you know, yeah, yeah, I'm curious, did anybody come into your life and try to dismiss this, this fact, this theory. I've never heard of dismissal of it, like I've never heard of that's

not true. I've never heard like women, grown women are saying this today when I complain about my patches, Like I'm getting messages from chicks that want to get the pussy it Obviously I don't know, but it's always it's like a flirty thing to go, I could help you, or you're not You're not doing it right, you know what I mean? I get I get those messages or even some guys, bro, you pussy, bro. And this is well into our thirties and it's still this bro like

it's crazy. Now see that you ain't doing it right. I'm gonna hold on. That's how they get you, because that that's a long scam that a woman is pulling me. She goes, look, hey, I know you've been doing it already, but I could teach you a secret that otherwise you know you ain't doing And the reality is if you've been needing pussy since fifteen, you've done all the things. Yeah yeah, it's just at that point you're trying to take advantage of me right now, like anyway you ain't

doing it right. It's bullshit because then I'm like, oh yeah, I'll show you. I bet you, I will like, no, I think I'm doing it just fine. Dam I think whatever is happening in my body won't allow this to happen the way that I would like it to. Nothing. Nothing in your magic puss is gonna like transform my facial hair into you know you ain't doing it right. I'll help you all that, ship all that. Can you imagine if it was reversed like sure and I just I just take it. I go all right, like I

you know, I like you to keep it moving. But it was reversed. If I said that to a woman, you got it's like what well I will say, I will say in defensive women, there is that stereotype. And we had an episode about this in the past. Was the sheer about fucking making you get a bigger butt that like if you damn, I forgot about if you smash you get a bigger booty. That is the lady equivalent to that, Like I think so, I think that's the one for one for sure. Oh ship, damn, I

forgot about that one. Now. I think if we were smarter, what we would have said was like, hey, if you suck my dick, it'll make your mustache go away. Like you know how you're doing, Yeah, Dick, to make that mustache. This is I don't know a lot of women with mustache, but I wish I did so I could say that, yeah, to mess around with some older women, like a nice fifty year old five year old you know, Angelina, Yeah,

you will get rid of us. So that's so funny. Okay, So so you you believe in this, you you follow through with this, you continue to stay committed to the eating pussy as a tool for growing facial hair. At what point, because now it sounds like you're pretty convinced that that isn't the case at one point as you jump off the eating pussy for facial hair train, WHOA through my own trials and like, I still can't grow

a beer. So I'm like, um, thirty four now, and I've tried to go a beer for the last year, and I can grow everything around, but it's two matches on each side that don't you know what? I even I've had these patches for a long time, right, Yeah, I've tried to grow a beer before I've even subconsciously was eating bussy and probably went like like I don't know when I did it, but I'm sure I have that you just tried to dip your face in the juice,

the access more beard growing uh activations. I'm pretty sure I have. Like in my late twenties, I've probably thought about it mid eating bussy and with ah and so. But I'm I'm off of that. It's not real and we need to and it's still around. We need to. Each generation is passing into the youth like it's a nigger right now, I'm telling the young dude you need to go east mask. Yeah, and so you feel like, if I'm hearing you correctly, you feel like this is

something that you are. You are not going to hand down to another generation. You're not if you hear some old dude telling some young cat this is what you need to do. Are you gonna be that dude who interrupts like, no, no, look at me, absolutely no. Get in your books, go to school, don't waste your time because it ain't gonna happen it all. It's all. Go to the barber, get the barber to run the clippers

to your your face. I'm yeah, I'm definitely gonna be that old dude that's trying to kill that myth of that It's like when you split a pole with somebody and they're like, no, no, come back, come back. You're gonna you're gonna break up the you know, I'm definitely that guy, and you're gonna be like, no, the pole, shit ain't real, the pussy ain't ain't true. All of this is is a fallacy. Yeah, you know what, I believe in splitting the pole more than I believe in

eating pussy. That's because I've I've bro I went to a whole pandemic with like I'm gonna let my face you're here gro and nothing nothing damn. Let me ask you this because I do think that the this is an interesting layer that I know for sure was never addressed when I was a kid. What do you do for a person who is gay or queer who doesn't eat pussy or at least you know, isn't eating pussy at that point, and they still grow facial here, they want to grow facial here. Does dick sucking do it too?

Or is it strictly a heteronormative rule of law. I think it's just uh, I haven't even thought of you're saying if if gay nigs want to grow beard or they just have it. Yeah, if like if I if if a young gay man is fourteen, does he have to eat pussy for his beard to grow? Or is that? Uh? Does he have to sacrifice this actual like commitment to who he is in order to grow his beard? Or can he go suck a dick and earn that same beard? Hey, kid, you gotta take some batin something like. I don't know,

I'm gonna tell it. Hey have something to get in marre. That's why you got sucking spar. I don't know what you know gay men do the grow the beer. I don't know you know any great man gay man that's trying to grow beer. I gotta some Alex, Alex seems like he's trying to grow a beard at all times. Now, Alex think it's just growing a ball spot he needs. Oh, he's gonna tear me up to say that. You don't want us to know. But yeah, we see, bald, bro, we see. But I think every nigg is trying to

the I did buy bioton am I saying that we're right. Yeah, I brought all the beard oils literally during the pandemic. I think I've done it all, and I bought the rolling thing with the with the little spikes on the end of it. It was hurt. Is that a painful thing? No, it's just like a little pinch and you know you're do it and you put the oil on. Spend sixty on the beard, kid, bro, Like it's bullshit. I can't. I'm giving up. I've accepted my patches and all the

pussies that I've eaten over the years. It's all fake. Literally, Probably that's when I was like, all right, this is this is fake. You've just been doing charity puss this entire time, just giving away free pussy and with no payoff. I guess a lady who likes you more than she would have otherwise. I go, I go home, and I see the girl and I always bring it up just to Annoyer, like I said, random places like everybody pussy

and two grade. Like she's married with two kids and we just got this packing for every time she sees me, she I don't want it too a lot. But I go to Philly and we run into each other like at an event or something. I said that ship. She just goes, oh my god, I love that. I love that as like, uh, just a memory that you share with this person that like, I'll never let her live it down. She took advantage of Mek, advantage of me. I was I was a feeling burder. She did help

me pass though helped you she didn't. She didn't help you do excel in this space, but she did help you make it. She did tutor me, and the pussy was always after Okay, good, that's so, you know, Carrot, at the end of the stick, she's doing the right thing. Absolutely, let me ask you this, and this will be my last question before we go to break. What do you think in terms of your family? Is your dad a man with a thick beard? Is he able to grow a beard? Are you do you have siblings that are

able to fill in these spots. My brother and my dad definitely have beards, and my dad has a good gray beard that he has. My brother full black. You know, he's getting a little salt and pepper now full black beards. Yes, So it truly is just you where this is falling short in your genetic lineage. Absolutely, and my mom used to go I used to tell my mom because this

was the thing I told my mom. She like, she like, she pointed out, like, oh, you got a little and then she goes, oh, that's just stress patches, what you're stressed about, Like that's what she would just write it off his stress. And I'm like, I'm actually happy a little bit. I don't know, I get to eat pussy every day. I don't know if you, but yeah, like she's just well, it's just a little stress patches. Such stress patches. It's just about like it's like, mom, you

don't get it. That's not what's happening here. It's more complicated. Yeah. So yeah, a lot of a lot of men and my family do have beards. A lot of them have beards. You do not. And and frankly, we don't know why we we This may just be the Reggie Conquest curse, or there might be something more scientific behind it. I think because I left you. I think because I moved out of Philly. Maybe I don't know. Uh, curse you needed more of that Philly water to percolated your body

to help finish you. Yeah, absolutely heartbreaking if true. All right, we're gonna take a break. We're gonna be back with more Reggie Conquests more, my mama told me. And we are back. Yeah, we're back here. We're more Reggie conquests more. My mama told me, we're still talking about that infamous conspiracy theory that you'll grow a thick, healthy beard if you put your face in someone's mound, and it turns out for Reggie at least, that's not true at all.

Do you feel like if you start to grow a beard, now, if suddenly those patches that you've been referring to this entire time start to finally fill in, you'll be at peace? Do you think that's the difference maker for you finally being able to rest? Like Thanos? Absolutely? Or Yo, I'd be like, I just I just cut it off recently, right, and I'm like, all right, you know what, I'm gonna give it another girl, Like I'm I'm gonna let it. I'm gonna see how far I can go. This time.

I'm still actively using the roller. I don't use the oil, but I'll still actively use the roller and brush my face. And I'm like, and it's so bad, bro, because sometimes I look in the mirror like, oh I see a little like I still did it. So it's like, I think it would put me at peace if these patches grew in, And you know, I can turn to the side and not look crazy. Yeah, I will say, first of all, I think you have a better beard than you're giving yourself it for. I think I think the patches,

oh no, they're they're they're very clearly bald patches. I'm not gonna play you and say that they're that, but I will say that with a good fading from a barber, they can make it look like that's some like sexy ship you tried to do on purpose. One time, my barber he did a great job on it, like it blew me away because I really was like, yo, it really got to be like I was really excited. But he has never done it that cool again, like he

oh I hate that. Yeah, Like one day he was just on and it's never looked, it's never got he never got back to that. That's hard break, I always say, because there are those days when we all experienced it where your barber fucking nails it, where you're just like, dog do this every time, And they are artists in the same way that we are artists in that like I've had sets that I'm never gonna be able to replicate, and it just that was just the where I just

I was on point. The crowd was perfect. Everything was aligned in a way that you know, the nigga's beer got lined up perfectly for this dude, never never again he got it. Damn that's heartbreaking. Let's let's talk through some of this research, because I do think some of this is actually, frankly, gonna be a little bit disappointing to you, because, as it turns out, this theory is not as false as uh, you wanted to be that. Yeah that I did some digging, and I I similarly

thought this was complete bullshit. But but and it's more complicated than I think a lot of people are giving it credit. But I'll explain. Testosterone. You know, the the hormone that that is sort of most common in men, the one that men are most commonly associated with, is a hormone largely responsible for beard growth. And as it turns out, one of the best ways to increase your body's testosterone is either through sex or through the promise of sex. M get the funk out of here. Yeah,

apparently I'm about to say, don't. I thought you were gonna say. You guys, because I'm a squatting motherfucker, I know I'll be squatting, So I'm like, because that that builds your testosterone too. Yes, you're absolutely correct. It's not just squats, but any physical activity apparently is helpful in building up your testosterone. And also eating a healthy diet and better hygiene are both things that apparently can help

with the test boosting. My diet is trash, and that's something that's something that I have never completely worked on. Like maybe that yo, you're about to make me like, because that's the one thing that I've never changed. So maybe that's the missing Maybe that's that's that puzzle piece that's sitting on your face, is just eating more grapes and less French fries, and yo yo, that that that's gonna have me in my head? Yeah, all right, Like do you really want this beard? Or do you really

want this milkshake? These are the questions you're gonna be asking yourself. That's gonna make me start from scratch, like I'm gonna cut this stubble off. Higher nutrition is and then go like that's gonna make me start all over again, broy Because when I read the squat thing about testosterone, because I was doing some research just like I've struggled with wait for a long time. So you know, the

testosterone from squatting, that's all I'll be doing. I want my testosterone though, but I never thought it would Okay, all right, yeah, it's it's a it's a weird thing that apparently just exercising increases your testosterone and then eat the better we're treating ourselves. Apparently our testosterone as men seems to to rise. Now that isn't said necessarily enough to transform your entire facial hair situation. They say basically that like it can stimulate growth, but it's stimulating and

this is the catch to all of this. It's stimulating growth of body hair in total, so men are more likely to grow hair on our faces. But it also means that like we could end up. You know, you increase your testosterone, you're growing chest there, You're growing back hair, You're growing hair on your gooch, you know what I mean, Like it's hair everywhere. Yeah, that's the thing. I'm not there. I'm not a hairy deu. So I always put that on the Oh that's why I can't grow here. I

don't have hair on my chest. I'm not the harryus I've been told. I'm not Harry and I'm not. I'm not. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not a Harry. See I I am completely hairless on my my upper body. And then Harry is fuck on my lord, Like everything below the belt is fucking wild down there, you know what I mean.

It's weird. Everybody's body is different. But it turns out, you know, your body is gonna kind of re at least have a reaction related to the way your body hair grows in relation to you eating better and treating yourself better. Hey man, that's gonna make me start from scratch. That just that just gave me hope. Like a little part of me thinks about the time I'm like forty five, I'm gonna have a full beard, and I'm gonna be in the best I'm gonna be in the best shape

of my life. I think it's possible, if you really are down to commit yourself, you you could grow that beard the way you want to. Here's where it gets a little complicated is that they also say that while these things can't have an an effect, it is not the ultimate decider, and whether or not you grow a thick beard ultimately the the decider, and whether or not you grow a thick beard is genetics. That's the end

of the sort of conversation in all of this. If you have a family filled with thick beard people, then you're probably gonna grow a thick beard, and if you don't, you're probably not. Yeah, you know what, I've heard that with like hair, right, like, like I have a nice head of hair, and I hope I always wear a hat. But they always ago, well, what's your mom? Is your mom? How's your mom's hair or whatever? And I go, I don't know. My mom wears wigs, but my dad, So yeah,

that was equated with you. I never understood that either. So apparently, as I understand it, whether or not you the balding gene, I guess is passed down through your mother and through your mother's father, So your mother's father is a better gauge of whether or not you will go bald rather than your own father, if that makes sense. Or yeah, my dad, my dad just went bald. I think I think every that that that boomers generation just all because my dad will just start shaving his head. Yeah,

he didn't start going bald. He just started shaving his head. He's bald man. Yeah, so for years similarly, I I thought because my grand my mother's father, who I never met really, but this is not that I would see like pictures of him and ship and he was always bald in every pick sure, And so I just assumed that he was bald. And then I ended up talking to my mom one time about it, and she was like, oh, no, John wasn't bald. He just opted to shave his head

because he was like hot or whatever. It's like, oh that they came from a generation where niggas didn't care about haircuts that much, so they did what they wanted to do with their helps. Yeah. Absolutely. I was talking about walking my dad got the cream ones in and he just just shaving it off, and I'm like, all right, but now I'm like he should just do that, Like, yeah,

he could have had hair. He's just volunteered to be bald. Yeah, that's a that's something that's not tolerating now, like not at all, Like no, and if you are, it better be because because you had to be, not because you just opted into it. Yeah. Yeah, Okay. So genetics are the biggest determined or sort of like determined or how this goes, which explains why and we know historic. There are plenty of examples, people like a DJ Khalid for example, who is who has been so outspoken about not munching

on puts? Truly, there hasn't been a more vocal person historically. It also is able to grow such a thick, healthy beard. He should be well he he has a beer. But sometimes I see beer and I go, that's a lot of dam on them on that on that face. I can't stand that. My barber tried to do that one time. He's like, you want to die he I'm like, no, I don't want that, Like, let me let me just rock this patch. I'd rather have a patch to put

the d on me. Yeah, I don't. I don't like when it's too lined up to the point that it starts to look like it just looks fictitious, Like I kind of want to look like I could still have a reasonable conversation with you and not not feel like I'm flexing, you know what I mean? So that those beards really dudes used to get that in high school coming but to die you know, Yeah, it reminds me of and we're the same age, so I'm sure you

remember this. There was that period in high school where like getting a fade with the perm was real like popular ship where like everybody like every ditty and loon and all THEMN cats, like basically we're like finger It was almost finger waving. They're fucking like like Caesar's and it just was a weird vibe where we're being too cute for my taste. Yeah, it was. I remember Die was huge in high school. Died, putting Die in your hair and and you know, the do rags and it

was huge. Beers wasn't even a thing. I don't even think as beards. I feel like beards have grown like that over the past ten years, where it's like you gotta have beers, a cool six four beer, blah blah blah. Yeah, I've never had this pressure of one and ada. I've always been the gotee guy. You know that you feel like this is pressure, Like this is pressure. You see all these people don't matter if you don't got a beard with it. Bro, Damn like you're being attacked. So

whatever is happening in your inboxes? Wild bro, because this got you stressed them in a way that I never anticipated. Okay, here's where things get even more interesting because we talked about the testosterone being the way that you potentially can up your chances of growing a beard. But where it gets even more complicated is that an overproduction of testosterone then turning into d HT, another hormone in your body, can actually be the thing that leads to hair lost.

You know what I'm saying, which implies that there is the chance that a person could eat too much pussy and find themselves bald headed, I guess, with a beard, but certainly no longer uh, the the full headed person they were before. Yeah, I think I can see that because I always equate hair loss to sports teams. Like I always tell my friends, I go, yo, do you all like your hairlines? Don't worry about the Sixers? Don't

worry about don't worry about Ben Simmons. Like I'm in a group chat with my Philadelphia friends and I go, dog, we are gonna lose. You're gonna start losing your hairline if we keep using about this nigger. Yo. Yeah, I as mad as I get about Ben Simmons in the basketball team. I'm like, I tell him the breedecause I equate hair loss a lot with sports teams. Yeah. And then like if I see somebody balld in in Philly that I know him like you watching them ease games,

You're getting too caught up to it. So there's no way that this is gonna help you grow more hair by sitting here worried about if Ben Simmons goes to training camp or not. Yeah, dog, I'm so over. I want them gone. I want him. I hate him Simmons. If it makes you feel better, he hates you too. He truly could not be more resentful of He doesn't. He does not, and we all hate that equally. I've

never seen it. I've never seen that. Like he's the most handed dude in Philadelphia right now, all right, So yeah, I believe that that can happen. So with that, it got me basically thinking that at the core of this conversation, it seems like there really is a sweet spot of eating a reasonable a reasonable amount of pussy, do you know what I mean? Like, you don't want to do too much. You don't want to be one of those weirdos who like claims they exclusively like eating pussy and

don't even need any other interactions. But then you also don't want to be like that fucking you know loser who's like, I don't do that because it's yucky. It's not yucky, it's delightful. Find the happy medium and be a reasonable person. And I can't believe I'm hopefully nobody in around me is like that was like, what grow up? Nigga? Yeah, Like even when that college ship came out, I was like he I thought he was bullshrank right, that he was just teasing or something. He stood on that. No,

he's He's a real weird motherfucker. I once winch too. Uh. I was shooting something at the All Star Game one year and DJ Kalu was coaching the celebrity game and it was him and Fat Joe coaching together, and by about eight minutes into the game, Dj Khali was just asleep on the bitch while Fat Joe pretended to know how to coach a basketball team. It was it was

a wild ride to watch the whole thing. That's hilarious. Okay, more information that I I sort of found myself digging into because all of this is so male centric that a part of me started to wonder, what are the sex effects for hair growth in women? Do you know what I mean? Like? How does how does sex affect the way women's hair grows out in the world, and as it turns out, estrogen, which is the the lead

hormone for women, also helps with hair health. Doing the deed caused this blood flow, which leads to an oxygen boost that helps skin and hair. That's that's apparently it goes both ways. They get thicker hair, we get thicker beards, all because the bone in each other. Mm hmm okay, okay, So a chick with a low cut or crow, that's how you can get some pussy too. Like, hey, you

want to hear it grow with girls. I grew up with girls that didn't have like, you know, the fight, and you don't have a girl with girl like when no edges, but they got fun. That's what that. Yeah, And apparently if you want to help our edges come back, the best thing you can offer her is some good dick. That's that's what they're saying. That's just when no hair is getting bad, like they're not getting tragic and that's

why I'm just slipping away her dick. Now here's where it starts to feel like a bit of a catch twenty two. Because while sex will help a woman grow thicker, longer hair, It does also imply that women will grow hair in the same way for us in other places, which may explain why Like my grandmother, for example, has like such a thick, sturdy mustache, you know what I mean. Like it implies that that her mustache is because she was sucking so many dicks back in the day, back

when she was still out here. Wait, your grandma, she has a very thick mustache, one of the thickest mustaches I've ever seen. I have no women around me to have any type of facial hair, but every time I see it, I'm like, at all I'll see because I'll see women with like peach fuzz right here right under their chin, and I'll be so amazed, like yo, she's just like she's not gonna. I look at women with face your hair and just be shocked, like yo, cut

that bro. But you know it's cute. You know what a shanty Remember Shante used to get shipped for her shy burns. Yeah, Like, like I think elm A or whatever her name is, has it like a little so you like the sideburn. I kind of like that ship like on Elma, like the shanty one. Lets like I like it? You like you like a nice uh swirled cyburn when they do it something. I don't think they do it no more. But that ship was hot, Like I got the little swirl that's like a light skinned

girl thing. I guess, but I don't know. We gotta start, We gotta get you back to two thousand night where you belong. If that's if that's what you're into, we'll we'll find you a space for it. Well, baby here, oh give it to me. Damn Okay. So the other thing that that sort of came to mind and in hacking all of this about about the possibility that this helps or hurts women in terms of their their body hair. The other catch that it feels like is that female

hair loss, which is a real thing. Women do lose their hair. Specifically, they tend to lose it most commonly after menopause, when they get an increase of testosterone, when their estrogen levels go down and testosterone goes up, and so it can It sounds like the lack of dick can in fact lead potentially, and this is me, you know, theorizing lead to hair loss. You ain't get enough dick, you don't find yourself going ball. Yeah, I can see that I had DeBie, Debbie who it's it's so hard.

She wasn't I arrest in peace, but she I can see her not getting dick and turning into a man, because we said joke about that, like, you know, Debbie, punch hard ship, you're just getting older. And I remember her like saying she or my mom was saying about her losing hair or whatever. But we used to always say she punched like like my dad, like she's to punch chest, damn. And you think that had she taken

a lover, this could have all been resolved. Her punches would have been softer, and she would have been a less traditionally masculine woman. She was definitely the most masculine recipiece, Debbie.

So here's the other thing that popped in my head that I think it works almost an exact contradiction of what I just said, is that they're also that that hair loss is often brought on by exacerbated stress, much in the way that your mom was talking about that you actually can lose your hair because you were stressed. It triggers all these hormones in your body that make your hair fall out, which would also imply for women that bringing dick into your life, arguably the most stressful

natural element might cause you. Yeah, they dick is stressful. Apparently, I see that a lot. I hear that a lot is a stressful You're not buying it. Yeah, it's like whatever. I'm sure you're going whatever is not at all stressful for them. I'm sure the I'm crying out, please, you're dick. It's so stressful. You're being like, I don't know, bitch, get over it is not uh making it anyhome. No, I wasn't saying my dick is very I think it's cool you can go about your day, but I think

it's not stressful. You already hear first, folks, Reggie Conquest not a stressful Dick. And it's just you know, it's okay. You can still get old with your life. You'll be happy. I guess outre strung out over my dick, like whe whe did I need it? All Right, We're gonna take one more break. We'll be back with more Reggie conquests more, my mama told me. And we are back, this would like stuff into the bag like ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha. That drop never stops. All right, we're back here with more Reggie conquests more. My mama told me, we're still talking about the possibility that eating puss can make your hair grow, and eating too much puss can leave you bald headed. So you just gotta eat a risk actful amount of that thing. M hmm. Absolutely. It's like you don't want to take too much pre workout, Like you want to take a nice, a nice scoop. One scoop, you know, two scoops is a lot. Three scoops.

You're wall You're gonna feel weird, bro, Yeah, yeah, you're tingling all that ship. One scoop is enough. I love that. What a perfect analogy. You don't want to take too much pre workout, you don't want to eat too much. But okay, speaking of too much, I have a brand new game that I would love to play with you. This is a game I invented specific for this episode. It's a game called too Much Sauce. Too Much Sauce.

It's a game where I Reggie. I'm going to introduce to you a number of celebrities who have uh let's say, complicated relationships with hair facial hair, both in good ways and in bad ways. And what I would love for you to do is just tell me what you think they're relationship is with eating pussy. Are they eating too much of it, too little or just the right amount? That makes sense? Hell yeah, okay, so let's start with a big one. This is a fun way to start.

John Travolta. John Travolta is the man who, uh who used to have a gorgeous head of hair and now has a fictional head of hair that he pretends is a full head of hair. But we can all tell that is not true. Wit Is he bald? He is? He's he was at one point very bald, and then I think he got a hair transplant that makes him

look just truly insane. Like, no, I haven't seen him my last my only image John Trevolta right now is a bald guy with a beard, and he kind of looks like he kind of looks like my dad when he's bald. With what he does, Travolta looks like your dad. Yo, I'm gonna pull it up, bro. You know, he looks like but he don't look like when I don't know why I'm picturing that a look like my dad you're talking about this John Travolta. Yeah, Yo, he looks if you change his if he changed his skin tone, that

looks like my dad. Okay, I think that's a good look for John Travolta. It's a pretty good look for John Travolta. I'm not gonna take that from you. What I will say is that John Travolta now is not not this one. But oh yeah, that's an old pick though. This is him young, when he had real hair. This is him now when he is lying to us, lying to the public. Yeah. He uh, he looked wild. We're here now, Yeah, I like. I like badass John Volta with the beard and volved and do you and so

what do you think transformed? Do you think he ate too much? Too little? Where what happened? What went wrong for old Johnny? He he ate a lot of pussy. He's he's in grease. He's in Is that him in Boogie Nights or My Trip? Yeah? Yeah, well yeah, yeah, he's in. Yeah, he a lot of No, he's not in Boogie Nights. Booge Knights is Mark Wahlberg. He's in the Friday Saturday Night he Okay, yeah, Boogie Knights very

different film. Yeah, I'm getting my white man stuff. I know John Travolta ville well, yeah, he's been on since the since the eighties, so yeah, I think he eats a lot of pussy or do you think he might have gone too far with it? I think he's going too far with it. I think he's been around too long. And yeah, he's probably still eating a lot of pussy now. Damn, damn. You're very hopeful for John Travolta. It is worth noting.

And I don't know that that you're highly aware of this, but John Travolta has been long accused of being a closeted homosexual. So I don't know if he's eating a ton of pussy now, but who knows. Maybe. Oh man, Okay, let's let's get into another one. This one. I'm excited to hear your response, Idris Elba. What do you think Idris Elba is doing with with puss? Uh? You know that's my guy man, too little, too much or just the right amount? I think just the right amount. Yeah,

I think he got out at the right time. I think he's married now, he's married. Yeah, he's married now. He got out at the right time. Yeah, he didn't overdo it. He didn't stay out in the streets too long. Yeah, he didn't. At one point he was like I think that he was. He was like the guy like everybody wanted, all the girls wanted. He's married and now there's so many new new cats coming up and he's like playing in the back. So I think he got out at

the right time. Yeah, he's still a sexy flexi man, but he isn't like the cream of the crop anymore. He isn't the first name that comes to mind for a young a young lady coming up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, So yeah, he got out at the right time. Man, that's my guy. Like that. Okay, he's not, he's not. He's not. There's no rumors out about here, but Boo knows and if it is, that's okay. Nobody's heard one that he had bad breath, but that was the heard that like, because he used to work the Dour Caroline,

So I've heard he has really bad breath. That wouldn't surprise me. He's British. That that makes perfect sense. Okay, here's here's another person. I'm excited to hear your response from Vin Diesel. Then, Diesel, what do you think is going on with him too much, too little or just the right amount? Two? What did I give you too much? I don't like Vin Diesel for some reason. I don't even I'm just I'm not a fan. I've never been like he's He's in some good stuff, I guess, But yeah,

too much? Do you think he's just out here just spending too much time down there and not concentrating on being a full person. He's supposed to be cooler than what he is. He's not, you know, like he needs like a grease or something under his belt Saturday. Put him in a Saturday night fever, something to make because he's cool. But I just he's not cool. At the same time, he's gotta seems like he'd be a loser in real life, even though they keep telling us he's

cool in movies. He is like, I don't know, he let the rock take his cool and then rock ran with rock being cool, So yeah, kind of corny. Now damn all right, there are two more. This one's fun Terry Crews. What do you think Terry Crews is doing in relation to eating? Was too much? Too little or just the right amount? Too much? And I'm acquainting too much with with what I think of that, Like I think he's another cornball. Yeah, so is that the where am I giving him? Too late? Like it's up to you.

I would. I've I've long felt that Terry crew seems like he doesn't eat pussy at all. Okay, Okay, okay, okay, Vin Diesel don't eat pussy either, Yeah I would. I would say both of them sort of give me non pussy eating vibes. Okay, okay, so now get okay, So I'm gonna john to Volta he eats pussy, but you say so would be boy pussy? It doesn't matter. It could. But he's right, he's cool, he's right at the level

he's eating a lot of pussies. Yeah, then these last two niggas, dog, they're not eating they're not even pussy. You know what, I'll give Ben Diesel a little bit more credit than I give Terry Crews. Or you think Ben Diesel has tried it, it just ain't for him. Yeah, Terry Crews O, no, no, that n no, I don't know. Yeah, he doesn't seem like he does it at all. When he was in Friday and he wasn't talking and he wasn't on that show Americans got town out of gave

him he started talking and starting out. Yeah, as soon as we learned what his real personality was, it it truly changed everything. Yeah. Yeah, all right, this is the last one. And I'll say this. I'm gonna warn you ahead of time that this person share similar very similar bro Merse to John Travolta and the the last person I will present to you is Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise, what do you think of him and his too much, too little or just the right amount? Too much? Too little?

I like Time Cruise, man, I don't have a problem. I don't got no beef with Time Cruise. Uh. I think he probably too little, too little? Tell me more too little? What's too little again? Like he's not he's not eating enough? Yeah, that he just is, you know, it's very Uh yeah, I don't think he's eating enough. He should be. He should be cooler than what he is. And he's like five seven from what I heard. I think you're being generous. I think he's like five five.

But yeah, he's little dude. But yeah, he's he's not eating enough. He's not eat enough to jumping on the couch thing what I remember. I still never seen that, but I've always heard that growing up, that he was jumping on the couch and you know, yeah, well it was him. It's worth explaining a little bit that he

he goes on Oprah. He's having this conversation with Oprah about his career, his life, and then Oprah asked him about Katie Holmes, who is his then girlfriend I believe not yet his wife, but eventually would become his wife. And in response to her asking him about Katie Holmes, he jumps on the couch and exclaims that he's in love. Why why? Why did Why did that? Was that the first like begin was at the beginning of social media.

I think it was just like a real, like uh methey, response to a thing that would have should have been a yeah. It just was real, like, yo, you're you're doing too much about a thing that truly didn't require that kind of energy, you know what I mean, Like it was like casual conversation and this thing it was like I'm in love, I'm in love, and it was like, Okay, if he did, you think you think it would get

the same reaction if you did that today. No, I think it would barely make a headline if he did it to Yeah, but back then we had four channels, and it's man, this is there was acting crazy. If he did that today, he would get so much love, like, oh he loves his wife. Yeah, it's like, uh, it would be like a chance album coming out, you know what I mean. We'd just be like, yeah, I guess love his wife. Yeah but yeah to to he's not eat enough, not eating enough? All right, Well we did it, Reggie.

I think that covers everything. Could you tell the people at home where they could find you? What? What cool ships you have going on? All right now? I'm only on Instagram, follow me at Red Conquest r G Conquest and uh working on some dope ship, working on season two of that Damn Michael Jay, and I'm on stages all around New York. Hell yeah right now, so oh fuck yeah, yeah that's what's up. So you know, follow Reggie on Instagram and and watch that Damn Michael Cha

and look out for season two. And as always, you can follow me at Langston Kermen. And please, if you want to send us drops, if you want to send us conspiracy theories of your own, you can send them to my Mama pod at gmail dot com. Otherwise, that's all I gotta say to you. By bitch later, Chips, your Quala bears are racists. Money stuff I can't tell me